A/N: It's FINALLY HERE! Alfred's dinner date! Well, yes, but not quite. You'll see. ^J^ Notes on this chapter are at the bottom, as usual!

In response to reviewer jessio, don't worry, I won't! ^J^ In response to Guest reviewer Guest, I must remain neutral upon this case. *wears neutrally neutral expression*

I did some hurrying to finish this chapter, so I apologize in advance if any of it is anywhere less than up-to-Gilbert's-awesome-par. *sweatdrops*

Disclaimer: I own neither Hetalia: Axis Powers nor How I Met Your Mother.

Stiiillll locked in the apartment.

2016 February 20 (Saturday)

Since a whole day (well, a whole night) passed and Roderich and Elizabeta and Alfred still felt like being lame and keeping the awesome me unawesomely locked-up in their apartment to keep me from wandering back into the bar and since I was totally not feeling still-sulky since I was totally not punched again by someone who was totally not Black Eye Guy, I think I'm going to pass on following Alfred to his dinner date. It's such a shame that that map with the coordinates of the location of the restaurant and the highlighted line showing his route there and back is going to go to waste, though . . . I had it color-coded and everything . . .

But I'm still going to make him type up a blog post about it later.

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Alfred Jones: I never told you where we were eating, though!

Dude. Just trash the freaking map.

Alfred Jones 2016-02-20

Elizabeta has a van guy! He likes pink! And wearing dresses!

2016 February 21 (Sunday)

So, remember when I kind of sort of said in my previous post yesterday that I kind of sort of wasn't going to stalk Alfred all the way to the restaurant which I kind of sort of had the coordinates to (until Alfred made me burn them)? Yeah, scratch that.

This morning, since I apparently fell asleep on their couch last night (it really is comfy, though!), Elizabeta walked by in the middle of putting on her coat. As she passed the couch, she said, "Follow me." but didn't stop to say any further, going straight to the door and pulling it open. Since she didn't elaborate or anything, I wasn't sure if she was actually talking to me or if she'd actually said it at all.

But if you think Elizabeta's giving you even the slightest excuse to leave the apartment, you take Elizabeta's excuse to leave the apartment. Because you're awesome like that.

With that in mind, I quickly hopped off the couch and followed her out of the apartment (she didn't even look behind her to make sure I was tailing her, she just kept walking) and all the way out into the street. Then, out of nowhere, this hunk of a blinding bright pink paintjob suddenly pulls up to the curb, nearly ramming into a "No Parking" sign.

I had to blink twice before I realized that that hulk of neon metal covered in pony bumper-stickers was actually supposed to be a van. But by the time the side door rolled open, Elizabeta's already unawesomely decided to go shotgun without consulting me. When she sees me still standing on the sidewalk, she looks me up and down and says impatiently, "Well? Why are you standing in there? Oh, just get in the van already!"

"But . . . it looks like it would belong to one of those super-girly plastic dolls . . ."

And she just rolls her eyes for totally no reason at all and grabs me by the shirt and yanks me into the van. I slam into what I think is supposed to be my seat (but I can't be sure, because it was also bright pink) as the van takes off before the doors are even halfway closed.

Buckling my seatbelt (because safety is awesome), I looked around to get a load of my surroundings and notice that a) there was this random techie kid sitting in the back surrounded by computers, b) Roderich was sitting in the seat next to me somehow managing to look bored and bewildered at the same time (seriously, how come all the OTHER guys get all the good facial expressions while I'm just sitting here with what is totally still not a black eye?), and c) I had no idea who's driving the van.

I shifted in my seat so that I could take a look. Blonde. Pink skirt. I cleared my throat.

"Well heellooo there," I said, grinning charmingly and awesomely into the rearview mirror. "I totally like your skirt. It already looks great on such a hot chick like you, but don't you think it would look better on the floor of my—"

Elizabeta interrupted, "Gilbert, he's a guy. Male pronouns."

"Don't worry, Liz, it's, like, totally fine," the driver assured her cheerily. "After all, he totally gets the fabulous vibes coming off this skirt! Well, I mean, it's too pink not to get, right?"

"Then I repeat with both more emphasis and awesomeness: Well HEELLOOO there."

"You're not dating my van guy!"

I blinked. "Who said anything about dating?"

And then I got hit by a frying pan and blacked out for the next few minutes. (Right now, I'm pretending to still be unconscious, but from what I can tell based on the map on my phone, we're right in front of the restaurant Al's dinner date is located.)

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Berwald Oxenstierna: IKEA

Perhaps their couch was purchased from our catalog of a wide variety of convenient furniture to choose from.

Berwald Oxenstierna 2016-02-21

Elizabeta Hedervary: Oh look, Gilbert, it appears that you're awake.

While I've got you distracted by having you read this, I'm going to forcefully yank you out of your seat and fill you in on the details. ^w^ Yeah, like totally right now.

Berwald Oxenstierna:

Why yes, yes it was.

Elizabeta Hedervary 2016-02-21

Sha-la-la-la-la-la kiss the guy! (Or not, if you're going to be lame like Alfred.)

2016 February 21 (Sunday)

Even though I decided at the last minute not to observe Alfred's dinner date, Elizabeta had other ideas. Which is why I wound up staring into the window of a restaurant from a bright pink van with a pair of oversized binoculars.

Oh, and you know how I kind of sort of said I blacked out for a "few minutes" in my previous post? Yeah . . . scratch that too. Apparently, it was more like a "few hours", so now when I'm typing this up, it's almost midnight.

Anyway, since I was out for so long, I only started watching toward the end of the date, when Alfred and Matthew called for the check and left the restaurant. Elizabeta gestured for us to crouch down so that they wouldn't see us (yeah, Liz, because they totally won't notice a random hot pink van just sitting in front of the freaking restaurant), but stopped abruptly to say, "Wait, Matthew's phone is ringing."

So Roderich, Random Techie Kid, Elizabeta's van guy and I peek out the window. Sure enough, Matthew's looking at his phone in surprise. He glanced between Alfred and the phone hesitantly, and Elizabeta used this time to wave her hand quickly at Random Techie Kid. "Kiku, the audio!"

"Hai," Random Techie Ki—Kiku nodded, pressing a few buttons before turning up a dial.

Right on time, Matthew accepted the call and raised the phone to his ear. From the speakers, we can hear the voice on the other end of the line. "Matilda—"

"Matthew."

"—breaking news at the bridge! No time to explain, we're tracking this call now to drive to your location and pick you up. We'll tell you more on the way, but until then, don't go anywhere! We're almost there. See you soon!"

"But—"

Dial tone.

Matthew sighed, turning off his phone. Seeing that we wouldn't be able to hear what was going on anymore via the device, Kiku turned down the dial and gave a disappointed sigh of his own. Meanwhile, Matthew faced Alfred again and they exchanged several words, which, of course, we couldn't hear.

"Dammit, I should've learned how to lip-read . . ." Elizabeta muttered.

"We totally should've planted microphones over there!" the driver exclaimed. "Like, pink ones."

"Maybe next time, then," Roderich said consolingly. Or as consolingly as Roderich can get.

"'Next time'?" Elizabeta whirled around, repeating the words excitedly.

"They're part of my obligations as your fiancé, after all," Roderich offered as an explanation. Which was a lame one, since we all know that's not true!

And, of course, I felt the need to assert that out loud too, just in case. "For the last time, I KNOW it's a prank, guys!"

I swear I saw Liz start to reach for her frying pan for totally no reason at all just then.

"Perhaps," Kiku intervened, "but maybe we should focus on watching the couple in front of the restaurant at the moment."

"Kiku's got a point! Like, you've totally got to look. I think something's happening!"

The driver was right.

Alfred and Matthew had stopped talking and were staring into each other's eyes. Matthew fiddled with his phone, but neither of them broke eye contact. He said a few more quiet words and Alfred inclined his head slightly in agreement. They were subtly closing the distance between each other. They were about a foot away from each other now, face-to-face. Alfred smiled slightly. Alfred—

Alfred raised his hand in a little wave, said some words that looked suspiciously like they were supposed to be some sort of farewell, nodded, and walked along as happy and oblivious as ever.

In the van, we facepalmed in awesome unison.

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Carlos Machado: That Alfred!

But shouldn't you be worried he's reading this?

Carlos Machado 2016-02-21

Gilbert Beilschmidt: Nah, it's totally fine! (Well, not Alfred missing out on sucking face.)

After finding out that I not only knew the time and place of his date but all the back-up times and places of his date in case I discovered his plans, Alfred decided that the less he knows about what the awesome me knows, the better.

Gilbert Beilschmidt 2016-02-21

Notes on this Chapter:

Alfred, Alfred, Alfred.

And don't worry! Since Gilbert missed a lot of whatever dialogue between Alfred and Matthew, there will be Alfred's version of the events, too, probably . . . okay, so maybe SOME worrying. *sweatdrops* Heh, heh.

Oh, and I think I mentioned before that Gilbert's blog would be in "real time". Well, that has changed slightly, but not too much: the posts will be up-to-date, as in each chapter will contain his posts dating in the interval from where we left off in the previous chapter up to the current date. For instance, this chapter contains posts dating from both yesterday and today. ^J^

Feedback is greatly appreciated!