Been too long, I know. My sincerest apologies, but I think (fingers crossed) that I've finally found the motivation to finish this story. Hope you enjoy
Despite the blurry distortion, there was an unmistakable sense of familiarity about this place. It wasn't a comfortable familiarity, though. Far from it. Comfort was the safe smell that enveloped her whenever she embraced her husband, or the feeling of peace and pride whenever she saw her daughter smile. This was at the opposite end of the spectrum, that much was abundantly clear. She could remember the hot, still air that filled her lungs with dust and sand. She could remember the foul scent festering in every corner of the bunker. She knew where this was—and what it meant—but she couldn't stop herself from delving deeper and deeper into this horrific trip down Memory Lane, one step at a time.
She wasn't bound, and there was no sign of her captors, but threat and terror loomed over her like a thick fog. It stank of death. Her feeling of dread increased along with the weight in her chest, and she hesitated slightly before pulling open the rusty metal door in front of her. The room she found on the other side was just as familiar as everything else; the barred window at the far wall, the chair nailed to the middle of the floor, the sunlight shining through the glass and unwillingly providing a symbolic beacon of hope. This was where her old life ended and her new one began. This was where she discovered—for perhaps the first time—who she could always trust and rely on, no matter what.
Her attention shifted to the figure hunched over in the chair. They had a sack unceremoniously draped over their head and were showing no signs of moving. She remained cautious, but couldn't prevent her own arm from outstretching. She gripped the sack and slowly pulled it away to reveal the victim's face. The terror coursing through her veins was suddenly too much to bare.
Tony slowly looked up at her, his eyes devoid of their usual spark. He looked bruised, battered and—above all else—defeated. He looked like a man who had very little life left in him, and Ziva knew all too well what that felt like. His very soul was drifting Heavenward, and he seemed all too willing to let it. She tried to reach out to him, to bring him back down to Earth where he belonged, but the distance between them had somehow grown tenfold. The sunlight had turned from the blinding gold to blood red, and the dusty heat was all but gone as an icy chill spread through her bones.
''Tony!''
Her own voice sounded pathetic. It was too quiet and too weak, but it didn't fail to make her throat feel like it was lined with shards of glass. She saw the blood travelling down Tony's face and tried to shout louder. It was all useless, though, and her legs joined her voice box in the act of betrayal. She couldn't move a muscle.
His voice didn't provide her with the encouragement she needed. It sounded feeble and slurred with pain. ''You've got to get out of here, Ziva,'' he told her with empty eyes. He was fading, fast. ''Run.''
She couldn't even if she wanted to. Besides, she couldn't leave without him. That wasn't an option. She loved him, he was the father of her child, he was—
''It's too late for me,'' he assured her quietly, just as a dark silhouette appeared in the corner behind him. ''Just get her away from here. Keep her safe.''
Ziva's heart sank to a whole new level of low. She had an idea of who he was talking about, but dreaded being right so much it physically hurt. The dark figure was beside Tony now, and wielding a huge machete. The blade shone in the red light, but there was blood dripping from it. She tried to scream out. She tried to run over and save her partner. She tried to shake off the invisible hands holding her firmly to the spot. Useless. She was vaguely aware of a tiny voice echoing through the bunker, but couldn't make sense of it.
The machete was raised and ready for the killer blow. ''Ziva,'' Tony pleaded, tears now joining the blood on his face. ''Get her out of here. Please.''
All of sudden the echoing voice became louder. Ziva could hear it clearly now as her whole world came crashing down.
''Momma?''
She cried out in horror. No. Not her daughter, too. ''Momma?'' She sounded so worried—so scared—that it damn near killed Ziva. How was this happening? She was never supposed to be exposed to this world, she was never meant to be in danger. How had her little baby Liana been dragged into all this? Everything Ziva loved was in the place she hated most.
She heard Lia's voice one more time before the machete over Tony's head was swung downwards.
''No!'' Ziva screamed, this time a loud shriek for the whole world to hear...
''Mommy? Momma, I'm scared.''
Her eyes opened. The red light was gone now, with the soft white glow of moonlight replacing it. Her ragged and shaky breaths were no longer choking her, but her tears seemed to be. Sobs wracked her body as she tried to readjust to the real world. Her nightmare was still clouding her mind, though, and she reached a sweaty hand out for Tony without thinking. It was automatic now, and she found it hard to find her centre after a particularly bad dream these days without his comfort and reassurance.
She found nothing on the other side of the bed, only an empty space.
Her heartrate spiked again. Images of the dying Tony she had met in her nightmare filled her head, and she found herself panicking. She needed to feel him, she needed to hear him. The fact that she had no idea where he was or if he was even alive made her body start to tremble uncontrollably. She felt another sob leave her throat just before a small, warm hand touched her shoulder gently. It made her jump, and her head whipped around as she automatically flinched away from the touch.
The look of concern on Lia's face made her heart break for millionth time that week.
They looked at each other for a few moments as Ziva tried to catch her breath and calm herself down, but it was proving to be far too difficult without Tony's sleepy voice bringing her back to Earth. She swallowed back some of the tears and waited until she was confident enough in the strength of her own voice before speaking to her daughter, who looked almost as shell shocked as her.
''Did I wake you, tatelah?'' Ziva whispered thickly.
Standing on the floor beside the bed, Lia nodded tentatively with her bottom lip trembling. The tears forming in her little eyes brought Ziva's back with a vengeance. ''You were yelling,'' Lia told her with a shaky voice. Ziva sent her a sad look of apology, and felt a shameful wave of guilt slam into her chest. It only got stronger when Lia sniffled and hugged Hippo to her chest, letting out a single sob before speaking again. ''Then you screamed really bad.'' She was crying by the time she finished the sentence.
Ziva's heart broke again. ''Oh, Lia, I am sorry,'' she squeezed through a tight throat, before reaching down to lift her daughter up to the bed so she could hug her as tightly as her weak-feeling arms would allow. Lia's arms wrapped around her neck as she buried her little face into her hair. ''I'm sorry, my little baby, I am so sorry,'' she whispered into Lia's curls as they rocked back and forth in the moonlit silence.
Mercifully, the act of calming and comforting her child gave Ziva some of the reassurance she was looking for when she woke up. She didn't know what had become of her husband, but her baby was safe. Her whole world hadn't ended yet. She still had a purpose, she still had a light, despite what her nightmare would have her believe. She placed a kiss on Lia's head and once again gave silent thanks for her presence.
''Was it a bad dream?'' Lia asked after a few minutes, her voice no longer lined with tears. There was still a heavy amount of concern in her eyes when she leaned away to look at Ziva, though.
Ziva brushed away a few stray curls from Lia's face. ''Yes,'' she admitted, perhaps a little shamefully. She was supposed to be the brave mother who fought off the bad dreams, after all. Instead her daughter had found her crying out and screaming in her sleep. Perhaps if Lia was old enough to understand the nightmare then she would have forgiven her weakness. But there was no way Ziva was about to describe it to her.
''Was it scary?'' Lia asked with a sympathetic expression.
Ziva couldn't help but smile a little bit at the look. ''Yes, it was very scary,'' she answered honestly.
Lia leaned in to give her another hug. ''Are you okay?''
Ziva nodded against her. ''I will be fine.''
''I don't like it when you cry.''
''Neither does your father,'' Ziva replied with a sigh.
The covers lifted as Lia tucked herself underneath them, before adjusting her position so she could lean her head against Ziva's side. The protective Momma bear wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ''Does Daddy keep away your bad dreams? Like you keep away mine?'' She asked softly, playing with a few strands of Ziva's hair.
Ziva's felt her face fall slightly, but tried her best not to show her sudden sadness. ''Your Daddy tries to keep away everyone's bad dreams, neshomehleh.'' When she thought back to everything she and Tony had been through, she was satisfied that her words made sense. ''He is far better at it than me,'' she confessed softly.
''Mommy and Daddy are a team,'' Lia reminded her.
Ziva smiled. ''I know. But sometimes I am a bit of a mess without him.''
''Daddy says it hurts him when his girls cry,'' Lia informed her sadly.
''He does?''
She feels Lia nod. ''Uh-huh. He feels it from a thousand-million miles away.''
Ziva smiled at her daughter's unmovable belief in Tony's words. ''We don't like him being that far away, though, do we?'' She turned her head to press another kiss to Lia's crown. ''Hmm?''
''No. He is s'pose to be here to kiss Momma better.''
Ziva squeezed her a little tighter. ''Well, he left you to take care of me, yes?''
''Ken,'' Lia nodded. ''I'm gonna stay in the big bed to takes care of Momma,'' she said sleepily as she reached up to gently pat Ziva's shoulder, who felt herself smile proudly in response. ''Daddy is not here so we gotsa stick together,'' Lia added enthatically. ''Family is the most 'portant thing, right?''
Ziva's chest warmed as the last chills from her nightmare left her body. ''That's right.''
''Uncle Gibbs always says that.''
She wasn't too surprised to hear that. ''Well, he is usually right about that sort of thing.''
When all she got was a soft hum in reply, she looked down to see Lia drifting off. She smiled with open affection before brushing a feather light kiss to the little girl's cheek and shifting both their positions slightly in order to fully lie down under the covers and prepare for what would (hopefully) be a nightmare-free slumber. Ziva knew sleep would be elusive at best after her last attempt, but she was happy to provide a source of warmth and comfort for her daughter, who she knew had been sleeping quite fitfully since Tony's leave, too. Hence her arrival in the 'big bed' every night.
''Momma?''
Ziva looked down to see Lia's eyes only half opened, but they were full of worry. ''What is it, my sleepy little angel?''
Lia frowned thoughtfully. ''Do you think Daddy's hurting now?''
Ziva's face fell, and she was momentarily too overwhelmed to speak.
''We have both been crying,'' Lia explained reasonably. ''Which hurts him, right?''
Ziva swallowed hard. ''Yes,'' was all she could squeeze out.
Lia's expression turned sad and guilty. ''I don't mean to hurt him, Momma.''
''I know,'' her mother assured her, having found a relatively strong voice again.
And she did know, she knew exactly where Lia was coming from. There had been countless times over the years when she hadn't meant to hurt Tony, but had unwillingly done so anyway. She had always hidden her shame and guilt behind cold words and a cold shoulder. She could see—and even physically feel—Tony's pain from it at times, but she couldn't help it. It was who she was back then. But he knew her. He knew exactly the right moments to back off or to step closer. Because, essentially, he had always loved her enough to forgive her closed-off behaviour before it had even begun. That was the thing about Tony; he was always willing to get hurt—one way or another—for the people he loved.
Including the sleepy little girl at her side. She ran a hand over Lia's curls, leaning down to place a soft kiss to her crown. ''He knows, too,'' she explained in a whisper. And sure enough, Lia's mouth curled into a small smile that showcased her reassurance. She never wanted to upset or hurt her father, and Ziva's words were finally enough for her to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. Ziva's remained open, troubled, even with the comforting company of her very own daughter.
Her mind still raced at a nightmarish pace. She couldn't help but wonder if her husband was, in fact, hurting. Maybe he was wounded or starving. Another part of her wondered if he was hobbling across the desert, fighting his way back to safety.
A bigger part of her wondered if he was even alive, but she hated that part.
Team DiNozzo's bullpen was very similar to Team Gibbs'. There was that consistent use of orange paint, the equally consistent buzz of computers and case-related chatter, and the long line of large windows along the near wall, showcasing that oh-so familiar view of the D.C Harbour. The only thing that was missing was the staircase leading up to the director's office and MTAC. And the team leader himself, but he wasn't a literal part of the room, so he didn't count.
He was a part of everyone's hearts, though, and Ziva could see the worried tension all over the faces of Tony's youngest team members as they tapped away at their computers in what looked like desperation. Sarah Lopez, their tech savvy 'McGee' of the team, was looking a lot less neat and tidy than she usually did. Her dark hair was frizzy, and the bags under her eyes suggested an all-nighter. She was a good agent, and good with all the technical stuff, but she often came to McGee looking for help when she came across particularly difficult puzzles. She was a tough cookie, though, and her often innocent looking face had fooled a lot of suspects and perps into getting a black eye or a few bruised ribs. Tony really liked her attitude, and her loyalty, from what Ziva gathered.
And then there was the equally exhausted man sat at the desk next to her, Kyle Simmons. He was the youngest member of the team, and a bit of loose cannon when he'd first joined. Ziva could remember Tony coming home almost every day with a new complaint about Simmons' recklessness, or his wisecracks, or even his tendency to be distracted by hot girls when he was working. It all sounded very familiar to Ziva, and she couldn't help but wonder if Tony was trying to train a younger version of himself, and teaching him how to grow up. It was like the NCIS circle of life, and she once even said that to her husband, but he just shrugged it off and said he needed to install a boat-building basement. Despite everything else, though, Simmons was loyal to a fault, and was a natural investigator. Even she could see how much he'd matured in the years under Tony's command.
Simmons let out a frustrated sigh and leant back in his chair, looking skyward. Ziva's presence remained temporarily unnoticed. ''Sarah, remind me to smash something later,'' he said after a groan. ''Preferably something that looks like a computer.''
''I'll remind you to focus,'' she replied sharply.
''This is useless,'' he groaned again. ''None of this is helping the bossman. Or Alex.''
Lopez's eyes closed as she rubbed at her temples. ''What else can we do, Kyle?''
''I don't know. Get a team of marines, fly out there, and tear that place apart until we find them.''
''You don't think I want that?'' Lopez asked angrily. ''I would drag them back myself if I could, but we don't know where they are. We don't know if they're hurt or hungry. Hell, we don't even know if…'' She trailed off, and Ziva could tell she was simply unable to give life to the dread she'd been feeling.
''If what, Sarah?''
She looked at him warningly. ''Kyle…''
''No, I'm serious,'' he insisted. ''You want to play Little Miss Rational all the time, so tell me, we don't even know what?''
''If they are alive,'' Ziva said, announcing her presence for the first time.
They both jumped and span around to look at her with faces that were initially shocked, but then morphed into something between friendly and sympathetic. Ziva could see the exhaustion, worry and fear in both sets of eyes. She knew what they were going through. When you loved your boss, unconditionally and wholeheartedly, it was hard to sit there and feel helpless as they were missing. She was grateful for their loyalty to her husband, but not for the way they were looking at her. She was not a grieving widow, nor did she ever plan to be.
''Mrs D,'' Simmons said, still a little shocked. ''Sorry, we didn't see you there.''
She gave him a half-smile. ''It is fine. But how many times do I have to tell you to call me Ziva? 'Mrs D' makes me sound so old.''
He blushed slightly. ''Sorry… Ziva.''
Lopez sent her a soft look of sympathy again. ''How are you doing?''
She bit back the sudden urge to scream about the whole situation, and kept a fairly neutral face in place. ''I am all right.''
''How's the kid?'' Simmons asked, before receiving a punch to the arm from his teammate. ''Ow!''
''Lia,'' Lopez told him with a glare. ''Her name's Lia, you jackass.''
He rubbed his shoulder and frowned. ''What did I say?''
Ziva smiled again to assure him she wasn't mad (not fully, anyway) ''She is okay,'' Ziva answered eventually. ''She misses her Daddy.''
Both their faces fell as a sad look etched its way onto their features. She could tell they were in the same boat as Lia. They were all just children, really, who loved and relied on Tony every day.
''How are you guys doing?'' She asked, knowing full well that they weren't exactly feeling chipper. But she suspected that not many people would have taken the time to talk things over with them, hence the tension and building restlessness she could feel radiating from both their bodies. Tony was absent, so she would have to be the one to act as their sounding board, to be their source of hope and wisdom. She would have Tony's back by watching theirs.
''I need my team back safe,'' Lopez said with sad eyes. ''I need to sleep.''
''I need to shoot something,'' Simmons added unhelpfully.
Ziva nodded. ''So, a typical day at the office, yes?''
They both smiled, like she wanted, and Lopez even let out a small chuckle. ''Pretty much,'' Simmons said. ''Except there's a bit more nausea than usual.''
''You haven't been going to that vendor down the street that Tony likes, have you?'' Ziva joked.
He scoffed. ''Not since the grilled beef sandwich I bought there got tired of being digested and ended up all over Dempsey's shoes. That put me off a little bit.''
Ziva frowned. ''You do not strike me as a puker, Kyle.''
Lopez snorted. ''He doesn't strike anyone as a puker. That's why it was so funny.''
''Well, not for Dempsey,'' Simmons added with a wince. ''He gave me hell for it.'' He frowned and tilted his head. ''So did DiNozzo, for that matter. I couldn't escape the puke-related jokes for weeks. He really is relentless, you know. He just needs the right ammunition, and then it's Taunt City.''
''Really? I had not noticed,'' Ziva replied, deadpan.
Lopez scoffed at Simmons. ''Yeah, I don't think Ziva's ever met our boss, Kyle,'' she drawled sarcastically.
He winced. ''Forgot who I was talking to.''
''Badmouthing our boss in front of his wife,'' Lopez said with raised eyebrows. ''That's got to be right up there on the list of dumb things you've done this week.'' She turned to Ziva with a knowing eye roll. ''Number one is spilling Agent Gibbs' coffee in the elevator, and then apologizing for it like five times.''
Ziva winced exaggeratedly. ''Oh, Lord.''
''I know.''
''Hey, that was an accident,'' Simmons said defensively. ''And I wasn't badmouthing our boss. I actually like the fact that he partakes in the office banter. I mean, he could be just like Gibbs, who just stares at you and says nothing. It's like he's looking right into your soul. It really freaks me out,'' he raised his hand and gestured back at Ziva. ''At least DiNozzo acts like a human.''
''Give him time.''
All three of them jumped and turned around to see the silver haired stealth artist that was Leroy Jethro Gibbs staring at them. He, naturally, had a coffee in his hand and a blank look on his face, and his eyes moved from person to person, scanning them and maybe even reading their minds, before his gaze finally lingered on Ziva, who offered him a small, half-smile in greeting. His eyelids twitched slightly in what may have been curiosity, but could equally have been irritation. She never was quite sure, even after all this time.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Lopez's fist dart out and make contact with Simmons again. ''Ow!'' He exclaimed under his breath, before whispering back. ''Stop doing that!''
''Morning, Gibbs,'' Ziva greeted.
There was that slight narrowing of his eyes again. ''What are you doing here?''
She saw no point in lying to him. ''I was hoping to do some digging.''
''Digging,'' he repeated, though his inflection didn't suggest it was a question, she treated it as one.
''Yes.''
He raised his chin slightly. ''Hm,'' was all he had to say on that front. ''Lia?''
She tilted her head in the vague direction of the lab. ''She is with Abby.''
He nodded. ''Upstairs. Two minutes.''
With that, he turned and made his way towards the elevators.
''I see what you mean about the soul-staring,'' Lopez muttered once he was seemingly out of earshot.
Simmons turned to her with wide eyes. ''I know! It's like I'm on trial for something and I have no idea what it— ''
''That goes for all three of you,'' Gibbs called back to them, causing them both to jump again and make slightly freaked out faces at each other.
''He has very good hearing as well,'' Ziva told them with a smirk.
Lopez frowned. ''You don't say.''
''What the hell does he want to see us for?'' Simmons asked, more to the point.
Ziva shook her head. ''You don't ask, you just follow.''
She pointed to where her old boss had just disappeared to emphasise her words, before setting off in that direction herself. When she heard no signs of her two friends following in her footsteps, she turned back to see two tired and confused frowns being aimed at her. She chuckled to herself, before snapping her fingers at them and waving them over. They got to their feet slowly but still looked far too sluggish for Gibbs' standards. They looked a little lost without their usual leader giving the orders.
''Come on,'' she called. ''Snap-snap.''
They gathered their phones and badges, but their frowns remained in place. ''Did she say snap-snap?'' Lopez asked in confusion.
''I don't know,'' Simmons replied honestly. ''I have no idea what's happening.''
''Do you think she means chop-chop?''
He let out a heavy sigh. ''I don't know,'' he repeated. ''I'm just going to follow the DiNozzo. That usually works.''
By the time they'd arrived in the Team Gibbs bullpen, the whole gang had gathered. There was Gibbs himself, of course, as well as McGee. The latter of which was standing in front of the plasma giving a presentation of something for his audience. The other man standing at his side was Owen Wilson, who was simply a rookie when they'd first met him back in 2009, but had now matured into a very capable agent who seemed to earn Gibbs' approval and trust quicker than most people had expected after the departure of Ziva and Tony. You always knew where you stood with Owen, and his focus never wavered.
The same could be said for Jessica Fox, the blond haired woman sat where Ziva used to. She was a cop through and through, and seemed to have the right kind of sheer determination and dedication that you needed to get by in this job. Ziva had become good friends with Jess over the years, and had often acted as her mentor. She would give regular advice on how to deal with a particularly grumpy Gibbs, or any other obstacles that might appear too large to overcome for a probie.
Ziva stepped into the small congregation of agents with a curt nod. McGee's voice trailed off, and he sent her a soft look of concern, and Wilson gave her a polite smile. She could hear Lopez and Simmons arriving behind her, and they both received a similar greeting. There was a certain tension in the room that Ziva couldn't quite decipher, but she knew it was there. The whole building seemed to have it.
It was Jess who spoke to her first. ''Ziva,'' she said, with sympathy colouring her tone as she got to her feet and gave her a short hug in greeting. ''I'm sorry I haven't called you. It's been crazy busy. How're you holding up?''
Ziva tried not to sigh too hard at being treated like she was in mourning. ''I am fine.''
''And Lia?''
This time she did sigh. ''She is all right, I suppose. But she doesn't know what's going on.''
''Neither do we,'' McGee said, bringing her attention to him. ''But we've got a plan.''
Ziva frowned. ''A plan?''
''Yes,'' he said, pointing a finger enthusiastically before making his way over to his desk without another word.
''Sounds like a great plan,'' Simmons cracked.
Jess and Lopez sent him a look of disapproval. ''Shut up, Kyle,'' Jess said on an eye roll.
Ziva looked at Gibbs with a curious expression, but he remained silent as he leant against his desk. The only answer she got to her unspoken question was the slightest of nods. It wasn't exactly a ground-breaking explanation, but it was all she needed to know. If he was in on this plan, then she already was, too. She trusted him more than anyone else in the room. Sometimes herself included.
''We've been trying to track DiNozzo and Dempsey's last known movements,'' Wilson began to explain, to Ziva more than anyone else. It felt a little strange to be in this position, with everyone looking for her stamp of approval, but she gave it her full attention. ''But it's proved to be a bit of dead end.''
''Dead end?'' Simmons bit out. ''We've been doing it all day, man, it's hopeless. Dead end is putting it politely.''
''For once, Simmons is right,'' Lopez agreed.
Wilson's eyes went heavenward momentarily. ''Yeah, okay, whatever. It doesn't matter. Whichever way you look at it, we needed to take a new approach, and McGee and I think we've got it.'' He looked over to McGee, who was now sat in his chair and typing away at his keyboard. ''McGee?''
The senior field agent looked up. ''Hm?''
''The case,'' Wilson elaborated.
''Oh, right,'' McGee put something up on the plasma, and everyone's attention turned to it within a second. There were pictures and profiles of about half a dozen men that Ziva didn't recognize. A look at Simmons and Lopez suggested they did, though. Their simultaneous frowns accompanied the spark of familiarity in their eyes.
''They're the contractors we were investigating,'' Lopez said after a few seconds.
''Are investigating,'' Gibbs corrected in typical fashion.
Ziva looked at her old leader. ''You think they could be behind Tony and Alex's disappearance?''
Gibbs shrugged. ''Makes sense.''
She frowned, and then looked to McGee. ''So what is your 'new approach', McGee?''
His features lit up slightly, like they always did when he felt like he'd made a breakthrough. ''We work the case,'' he said simply, before pointing at the screen. ''Their case. We track them down, we follow their last movements, and it might just lead us to Tony.'' He nodded to where Lopez stood. ''Me and Lopez can do some hacking, and some digging. And we can use the resources and man-power of two teams.'''
''One and a half teams,'' Simmons corrected.
McGee closed his eyes momentarily. ''Right. Sorry.''
''When did you guys discuss this?'' Jess asked Wilson, a hint of hurt in her tone at being left out.
Wilson winced slightly, but before he could answer, a familiar voice travelled across the room from the direction of the stairwell.
''That's a damn good question, Agent Fox.''
It was authoritative—like always—and it didn't take seven trained investigators to work out that the source of the voice was a little bit pissed. And sure enough, their heads all turned to see an angry-looking Vance chewing the life out of a toothpick. His eyes narrowed slightly when he looked at Gibbs, and then he turned and made his way down to the ground level, no doubt on his way to join the party. By the time he'd arrived, most of the agents in the vicinity had more or less stood at attention.
''Another question is why this little idea hasn't been pitched to me yet?'' He approached the plasma and gestured at the faces on the screen. ''Or why, when the entire US military can't find these guys, you think you'll suddenly have any luck?''
His eyes did nothing to hide his disappointment, but something told Ziva he was also genuinely curious. That maybe part of the hardened director was actually looking to be talked into this, as opposed to shutting it down with a firm hand. It was something that Wilson seemed to notice, too, because he was the first one to step forward.
''We don't need luck, sir,'' he said calmly, bravely. ''We just the right people on the job.''
Vance narrowed his eyes at the young agent. ''And you think you're the right people? You're all too close to this.'' His eyes shifted to Ziva, who still wasn't quite sure what to say about all of this. ''Way too close.''
''That's not always a bad thing, Leon,'' Gibbs said, now standing fully. ''I say we've got a better chance of finding them if we're on the case.''
''And I say, we leave it to the people who are already giving up their time to look for them,'' Vance argued. ''You guys don't exactly have a track record when it comes to overseas rescue missions.''
Ziva thought back to her nightmare from the night before. ''Somalia,'' she muttered quietly, before she really knew what she was doing.
Silence fell as all sets of eyes landed on her, most of which held confusion at the mention of the North African country, but the more familiar faces had a haunted and nostalgic look etching their features. She almost never mentioned Somalia in front of anyone besides Tony, and she suddenly really, really wished he was here. Just saying that word made her chest tighten and her stomach twist, even to this day. But she must have had a point. Somalia may have started out as something else, but it turned into a rescue mission.
''That was different,'' Vance argued, a little more gently than before. ''And you shouldn't be here. You're not an investigator anymore, this case doesn't concern you.''
Ziva felt her previous dark feelings make way for something far more simple. She felt fury start to bubble up in her chest. ''It doesn't concern me?'' She repeated, dubious. Her fists clenched without her really noticing.
''Oh, dear,'' She heard Simmons say quietly.
Gibbs stepped closer to her. ''Ziva,'' he warned, but she was already gone.
''It doesn't concern me?'' She repeated again, slowly, not caring for a second that this was her boss she was talking to. She felt all the anger, all the despair, all the helplessness from the past few days fight their way to the surface. If ever there was someone begging for it to be taken out on, it was Vance in that moment. How dare he say that. This was Tony they were talking about, not some dead petty officer or missing marine. Her husband.
Vance looked a little wary now. ''Like I said, you're no longer— ''
Her fist made contact with the nearest desk with a loud bang, and she no longer registered the wide eyes or shocked expressions on the younger agents' faces. ''The man I love is out there!'' She cried, feeling her lower lip tremble. ''The father of my child! And you are telling me that this doesn't concern me!''
Vance had taken a step back now, and Gibbs stepped into her line of fire to look right at her. ''Ziva,'' he warned again, but she found herself batting away his hand.
''No, no!'' She yelled. ''This is my family we are talking about.'' Her voice wavered for the first time. ''And I will not let some cold-hearted bastard stand there and tell me it does not concern me!''
Gibbs gripped her wrists and managed to restrain her. ''Hey, hey!'' His no-nonsense tone got through to her eventually, and she felt a stray tear roll down her cheek. ''Think about your daughter. She needs her mom right now. She needs you to be strong. Okay?''
Ziva pictured Lia's face after she'd witnessed her mother's nightmare the night before, and the fear and panic she saw in her little eyes. Yes, he was right. He was always right. Lia did need her mommy right now, and she needed her to stay sane and calm. Ziva let out a small sob as she buried her face into Gibbs' chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and gave her an embrace as warm as any she'd ever received from the ex-marine.
''I need him,'' she whispered into him.
A sigh escaped his lips. ''I know,'' he assured her. ''I know.''
''What if he cannot come home?''
''He will,'' Gibbs assured her without hesitation. ''I'm going to bring him home myself.''
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. The fire and determination in them gave her a sudden surge of hope. He was in full-blown war mode, and nothing was going to stop him now. Not even Vance, who had been staring quietly at the floor until Gibbs' words sparked life back into him again. His expression no longer suggested he was about to argue anymore, though. He had that look in his eye that led Ziva to believe that he may just be on board after all.
''What are you thinking, Gibbs?'' He asked, his tone professional.
Gibbs gave Ziva one last, fleeting look of solidarity, before turning to see a small army of special agents looking his way. ''I'm thinking,'' he said calmly, ''we find our men and bring them home.'' He gave everyone in the room a look to ensure they were listening to him, but it wasn't necessary. When Gibbs spoke, people listened, and he had a fully focused NCIS major response team (and a half) behind him every step of the way. ''Lopez. McGee.''
''Yes, boss?''
He gestured at the computers. ''Find these contractors.''
McGee was already typing. ''On it.''
Lopez nodded. ''Yes, sir.''
As she moved to join McGee, her partner stepped up. ''Where do you want me?'' Simmons asked, fully professional and focused.
Gibbs gave him a brief stare. ''These men have wives, girlfriends, parents. Go talk to them. Find out whether they've made contact.''
Simmons frowned slightly. ''The bossman had us do that already.''
All he received was an icy glare in response, but luckily Wilson stepped in. ''We'll do it again,'' he said, stepping up and slapping a file against the other man's chest. ''Right, Simmons?'' After a few moments of hesitation, Simmons seemed to accept the order.
''Um, right. Let's go do that.''
Gibbs nodded. ''Take Jess.''
''Got it,'' Fox said quickly, before glancing at Ziva and giving her hand a brief squeeze. ''Talk to you later,'' she whispered.
The three agents were gone in a blink, leaving the computer techs and the two figures of authority, who were now staring each other down with stern looks. For once, Ziva didn't feel like she was intruding in a heavyweight boxing match as she stood partially between the two men. This was her fight, too, and she didn't care how high it went or who she pissed off, something needed to be done. She knew full well that, had their roles been reversed, Tony wouldn't care how many rules he broke saving her.
Hell, the roles had been reversed before, and Tony managed to bring her home.
''I'm guessing you need me to pull some strings,'' Vance said to Gibbs, his toothpick rolling along his tongue.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. ''One or two.''
''What kind of strings are we talking?''
He tilted his head slightly. ''The kind that get me a team of four marines, and a flight to Kabul.''
Vance considered the request, (or was it demand?), for a few seconds. ''You weren't kidding about bringing them home yourself, huh?'' This time it was easy to tell that he was in. There was always a certain way in which his eyes darted from object to object, aimlessly wandering around the room. It was one of Vance's only tells. ''It's hot in Kabul at this time of year,'' he said, and oh yes, he was definitely in.
''It's always hot in Kabul,'' Gibbs added.
''Seems like a good time to have a veteran marine sniper lead a few training exercises in the area.''
Gibbs smirked with satisfaction. ''My thoughts exactly, Director.''
Vance nodded, straightened his jacket, and made to leave. ''I'm going to make a few calls.''
Ziva, who had been busy wallowing in embarrassment and shame at her little breakdown a few moments earlier, suddenly felt grateful enough to break an old Gibbs rule. ''Director?'' She called to him, and her softer tone almost seemed to surprise him as he spun back in her direction. ''I am sorry for my behaviour a minute ago. It was not me, and I may have crossed the line.''
He gave her a simple nod, but otherwise gave nothing away. ''I'm sorry, too. For causing any misunderstanding. This has been a hard few days for everyone here, but I should have put myself in the family's shoes. You have every right to be kept in the loop.'' He glanced at Gibbs sternly. ''We should all be kept in the loop.''
Ziva turned towards Gibbs just in time to catch another smirk. ''Noted,'' the team leader replied.
After Vance had made the full journey back up his stairs, McGee looked up from his computer and spoke quietly. ''Hey, boss? Who are you taking?''
''Who am I taking where, McGee?''
Tim frowned slightly. ''You know, on the training exercise?''
''Four marines,'' Gibbs repeated unhelpfully.
Ziva could tell that McGee just about had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. ''No, I mean as well as the marines. You usually take someone from the team with you, right?''
Gibbs took a long, steady breath. ''Not this time.''
Ziva turned to her former leader with her most professional face. She suddenly had an idea. It was risky—and probably foolish—but it made sense to her right then. ''Gibbs,'' was all she said, but she could see the warning look in his eyes before she had a real chance to plead her case. He knew exactly what she was thinking, of course. He was probably expecting it, too. And despite the fact she could see his answer already, she wanted to insist.
''Don't even think about asking to come with me, David.''
She tilted her head in admonishment. ''It's DiNozzo. And if you will just listen to me— ''
''Not happening,'' he cut in. ''End of discussion.''
She threw up her hand in exasperation. ''Why not?''
He stared at her, stared right through her, like he had done so many times over the years. She could tell he wasn't going to budge on this, but her cluttered and trouble mind wouldn't let go. ''If I have to tell you why, then you need a psych evaluation. Right now.''
As if on cue, the elevator behind him dinged, and out stepped Abby and Lia. The gothic scientist was holding the little girl's hand as they chatted excitedly about lord knows what. That didn't matter, just like Ziva's previous idea no longer mattered. All she cared about now was the fact that she could not leave her child. Not for one day. Not even to fly to other side of the world and rescue the man they both loved more than life itself. Gibbs raised an eyebrow, punctuating his point without even having to look behind him. Apparently his sixth sense extended to his team's children, too.
''She needs you here,'' he whispered to her.
Ziva nodded, closing her eyes and taking a deep, calming breath. She was fully composed by the time Lia spotted her and ran over in delight. ''Momma!'' The little girl cried excitedly, and Ziva squatted down to her level. ''Look what Aunty Abby gave me!'' She waved the little bracelet on her wrist around happily. ''It's my special Abby bracelet.'' She explained to her mother proudly.
''It is very pretty, tatelah,'' Ziva appraised softly.
''Abby's got a special Lia bracelet, too.''
Ziva kissed the top of Lia's head. ''She does?''
''Uh-huh,'' Lia grinned toothily. ''We're bestest friends.''
From behind the desk, Lopez clutched a hand to her chest. ''Aww. That's so cute.''
Abby beamed at her. ''I know, right? I've already called dibs on being her best friend. And she is just the cutest, prettiest, cleverest little girl in the whole world,'' she cooed enthusiastically, gently grabbing Lia's cheek. ''Aren't you, little Princess DiNozzo?''
Lia grinned proudly. ''I'm a angel.''
That earned a chuckle from everyone in the room, and even a smile from Gibbs. Ziva smiled fondly, too, but couldn't help rolling her eyes at the DiNozzo side of Lia shining through. She was starting to develop a personality alright, and Ziva had a suspicion that her little angel would be a force to be reckoned with as she got older. Her genetics more or less ensured it.
McGee looked down at Lia with a look of mock-hurt. ''Hey, Lia, I thought I was your best friend?''
Abby scoffed. ''Ha. As if.''
Lia shook her head, apparently having no time for tact. ''You're Daddy's best friend.''
McGee looked a little disappointed. ''I got the raw end of the deal then, huh?''
''It is not so hard,'' Ziva assured him. ''Just take him for a beer every now and then.''
''I do!'' McGee insisted. ''He just can't keep up with me anymore.''
''Daddy likes having a beer with Timmy,'' Lia explained to them seriously. ''Cause Daddy says it's like having a little brother.'' Everyone's face softened at her words, and Ziva could see McGee look down with an affectionate and perhaps even humble expression. ''That's why he's Uncle Gee.'' She looked up at her mother, no doubt looking for confirmation. ''Right, Momma?''
She sent Tim a brief smile, before nodding down at Lia. ''That's right, baby. Did your father tell you that?''
''Yeah,'' she answered sadly, before spinning around to look up at all the adults around her with a hopeful expression. ''Have you guys talked to Daddy? Can we call him on the 'puter again?'' The spark in her eyes made Ziva's heart simultaneously warm and break. ''I wanna show him my Abby bracelet.''
They all looked at each other, and Ziva thought it looked like Abby and Lopez were about to burst into tears. She knew she was. But she couldn't think of a way to tell her daughter that, no, they couldn't talk to Tony. At least not in a way that wouldn't break her little heart. Her eyes burned with tears as she closed them to try and find some strength within herself. She must have given away too much, though, because when she opened them again Lia was looking at her with a concerned frown.
She reached out her small hand and traced the dried track of tears on Ziva's cheek left by her earlier tantrum. ''You been crying again, Momma?''
Ziva could only nod, before taking hold of Lia's hand and placing a soft kiss to her palm.
''Is it 'cause of Daddy?''
That was enough for Ziva to finally lose control of her tears, and she couldn't stop herself from letting them slip down her face as she pulled her daughter into a tight hug. The little girl was the only thing keeping her grounded in that moment, so she needed this more than Lia. After a few moments, she saw Gibbs crouch down and pat Lia on the shoulder gently, successfully pulling her attention away from Ziva.
''Hey, Gibbs,'' she greeted quietly.
''Hey, Kiddo.''
She made a sad face at him. ''Why is my mommy sad?''
He met Ziva's eyes, and she could tell he was deciding what to say—and what not to say—to the mini-DiNozzo. When he looked back to Lia, his eyes were reassuring and warm. ''Your daddy went away on a big plane,'' he told her in an attempt to jog her memory.
It seemed to work. ''Uh-huh,'' Lia recalled quickly. ''With Dempy.''
He smiled briefly. ''That's right. But now they're both in a bit of trouble.''
''Are they hurt?'' Lia asked with a worried frown.
Gibbs looked Ziva's way again. ''We don't think so,'' he lied. ''But they need someone to go and help them come home.''
Lia turned back to Ziva. ''Are you gonna go, Momma?''
Ziva swallowed hard. ''No, sweetie, I cannot.''
''Your mom's got to stay here,'' Gibbs explained, bringing Lia's attention back to him.
''But who will help Daddy?''
Gibbs took hold of her hand and held her gaze. ''Remember when I told you your dad used to work with me?''
''Yeah. You were the boss.''
He nodded. ''I was. He doesn't work with me anymore, but we're still a team, your dad and I.'' After he waited a few moments to see if she understood what he was saying, he continued calmly. ''So, I'm going to fly away on a big plane and find him.''
Her face visibly brightened. ''So he can come home?''
''So he can come home.''
She turned to her mother, who sent her a small smile in return. The prospect of her dad coming home seemed to excite her more than anything ever had, and she practically bounced in delight. ''Will you tell him I love him?'' She asked Gibbs. ''And that I miss him lots and lots?''
''Sure,'' he vowed. ''But you can tell him all that yourself when I bring him home.''
Unexpectedly, even for Gibbs it seemed, Lia threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. His initial shock was soon pushed aside, and he returned the hug with a sigh. Ziva watched on as Gibbs sealed his pact—his potentially breakable promise—with an act of paternal love. She knew he would do everything in his power to find Tony, to find Tony alive, and bring him home. A part of her still itched to go with her old boss, to drag the man she loved home and never let him go again. That part would have to be suppressed, though, because her job as a mother had never been more important. She felt a new light in her heart. It was bright and welcome, because it sparked new life.
She trusted Gibbs, and for the first time in forever, she trusted the world enough to feel hope.
A few new characters to deal with there, but I thought it might be a happier chapter for you lovely lot. I know there was no Tony, but if you stick around you may just get to read a happy reunion (you lucky lot). Thanks for reading and thanks ,again, for your patience. There won't be many more chapters but I will try to post them more regularly. MCMondo out