CWCollateral: A Tale of the Resistance

by Manajerkop

What happens when innocent bystanders get fed up with enduring the fallout from Sonichu's zappin' adventures? REVOLUTION, that's what! Experience Sonichu from a whole new perspective, as the PVCC fights to end the tyranny of Christian Weston Chandler.

16. Chapter 12: Trial and Terror

CWCollateral: A Tale of the Resistance

by Manajerkop

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Chapter 12: Trial and Terror

June 9, 2008, CWCville, abandoned zone, unidentified Feeding Day drop site, 3:03 p.m.

Kevin cursed loudly as the two mercenaries casually stepped back to their Humvee and seated themselves on the hood to avoid the swarm of feral Sonees and Roseys pouring into the drop site. Heaving his body up into a sitting position, he grappled uselessly with the handcuffs, but only succeeded in rubbing his wrists raw against the unyielding metal. There wasn't enough time, and he didn't know how much more of it his fellow Jerkops would need to regain consciousness. He had to fend off the ferals long enough to even the odds, and just hope that the loyalists didn't decide to shoot them down then and there.

In a tripping, stumbling, squeaking tide of fuzz, the pack of larval Electric Hedgehog Pokémon advanced, while dozens more crawled out of open manholes and dropped to the ground from air ducts. Roseys paraskirted into the drop site one at a time, letting out shrill "WHEEEE!"s of joy as they lurched their way over the edges of windowsills, gutters, and rooftops and drifted down. On the ground, two main hordes had amassed, one heading straight for Kevin and his friends, the other congregating around the Humvee and whining at the stressfully out-of-reach mercenaries.

"Okay," Kevin growled, clenching his teeth as he pushed himself to his feet. "WHO'S FIRST?"

"Seeeeeeeeeeeeee!" an airborne Rosey cried in delight as she dropped down on top of Kevin and landed on his right shoulder. Gripping the Jerkop with her sausage-like armstubs, she squeaked an eager "YAY!" and opened her harelip mouth, exposing a tiny set of sharp teeth.

Caught completely off guard, Kevin stumbled backward and slipped, landing hard on his back next to where Marty lay. There was a loud crunch and a shriek of pain, and warm, wet liquid soaked the back of his jacket. The Rosey riding piggyback was instantly crushed from the waist down, her pressurized innards squirting out like a toy can full of party snakes. Shaking the dying baby chu's body off of his back, the Jerkop rolled over and looked skyward, just in time to avoid another paraskirting Rosey that plopped down next to his hip. Out of desperation, Kevin twisted his leg back and lashed out, planting a firm kick right to the center of the little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's belly. The Rosey's breath left its lungs with a shrill wheeze, and several ribs cracked like dry branches. Wailing, it fell forward and began convulsing in pain, until Kevin rolled over, planted his heel on the back of the larva's head, and smashed its skull open against the ground.

Beside him, Marty let out a soft moan and stirred briefly. Encouraged, Kevin managed to right himself just as the first few hungry babies toddled up to Zoey's boots and began prodding them out of curiosity. A Sonee pulled its fat body up onto the unconscious Jerkop's leg and cheered, immensely proud of its rather insignificant achievement. The triumphant little chu's joy was promptly silenced when Kevin dashed over and kicked it straight into the wall, splattering its tiny body into a chunky slew of gore. The other Sonees and Roseys paid no heed to the death of their comrade, and instead began gnawing and gumming Zoey's rubber boots.

For Kevin, it was just another game of Kick-a-Chu. With his arms handcuffed behind his back, he couldn't grab or throw the babies away, but thankfully his feet were still free. The feral baby chus quickly learned this the hard way when four of their number found themselves stomped flat against the concrete, crushed into piles of broken bones and meat beneath the furious Jerkop's boots. A Rosey had her head crushed from above, popping her glassy green eyeballs straight out while her fatty brain tissue was ground down into the remnants of her skull. Wiping the sticky red and pink smear off on the ground, Kevin whirled around and booted a Sonee towards the mercs in a desperate attempt to silence their mocking laughter. The wounded baby chu sailed through the air and smashed against the Humvee's bumper, spraying Goody's leg with blood.

"Fuck! You little son of a bitch!" snarled the loyalist, and drew her pistol. Kevin dropped to the ground just as Goody fired, but fortunately, the bullet ricocheted off the side of a crushed car lying against the wall of an adjacent apartment, leaving the Jerkop prisoner unharmed. In a flash, Herb had reached over and grabbed her arm, preventing her from firing any more shots.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" the mercenary captain growled. "Stow that thing before you bring the entire PVCC down on us." His face softened into a smile as Goody holstered her pistol. "Hey. You know, they're gonna give us some serious R&R time after today. I'd say we earned a little trip to Lightning to celebrate. Just you and me…"

The female loyalist grinned and nudged Herb in the ribs. "I like where this is going." She shot a disdainful glance toward Kevin. "For fuck's sake, you worthless little shits, eat them already!"

"Kevin! Kevin, help! Please!"

Surprised, Kevin nearly lost his balance again as Marty pushed himself to his feet and hurried over to him, his dirty face streaked with frightened tears. The little boy's baseball cap had fallen off in the chaos, revealing the two little red nubs that protruded through his blond hair. Before the Jerkop could react, Marty collided with him and hugged him around the waist, trembling as the hungry squeals of more Sonees and Roseys filled the drop site like the screeching of vultures.

"I don't wanna get eaten," sobbed the boy, and squeezed Kevin even tighter. "Kevin, help me!"

"It'll be okay. It's gonna be okay," Kevin replied, and pried the child off of him. It was only then that he noticed Marty's hands were free. "Marty, listen to me. I need you to listen, okay?"

Marty nodded.

"I don't know what your mom taught you about feral Sonees and Roseys," explained the Jerkop quickly as he pushed a trio of larvae off of Ben's body and sent them tumbling backwards head over stumpfeet. "Marty, listen. You're going to have to hurt them. You're going to need to kill as many of these little fuckers as you can. We've got to keep them away from Zoey and the others until…" He paused and kicked a Rosey away from Nick. "Until something good happens."

The little boy gulped nervously. "I…I'll try. I've never…"

"Doesn't matter!" growled Kevin as a Sonee latched onto his ankle and began trying to zap him with a pathetic Spark attack. "Just get them away! Get them away!" Raising his other foot, he stomped down hard on the baby chu's head and smiled in satisfaction as its skull crunched.

"Eeewwww!" Marty yelled in disgust. "Kevin, I can't do this! They're…it's not…"

"THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS ARE GONNA EAT YOU, MARTY!" shouted the Jerkop, and kicked a tiny six-inch-tall Rosey in the head, decapitating the baby chu. "I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF! PRETEND YOU'RE PLAYING WHACK-A-MOLE AND KILL THEM!"

Shaking with fright, Marty squeezed his eyes shut and cautiously advanced on the nearest larva, a Sonee who was trying to squirm its way onto Ben's shoulder to get at his neck. As Kevin stomped a trio of Roseys into mush, the little boy reached out and closed his hands around the fat baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, digging his fingers into the soft fur of its torso.

"Sonee! Goo-goo! Sonee!" cried the Sonee in surprise, kicking its stumpfeet in the air as Marty lifted it off the ground and gripped it apprehensively. "Goo-goo! Nee! WAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Surprised by the shrill wail, Marty hurled the little chu away and clutched his hands over his ears. Screaming, the Sonee plummeted to the ground and smashed against the concrete, which ripped its face open and shattered its little black nose and part of its jaw. Gurgling in immense agony, it crawled away from the little boy, leaving a trail of blood in its wake.

"That's good! That's good! Keep doing that!" Kevin yelled encouragingly, and kicked a Sonee under its near-nonexistent chin. The little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon toppled backward and fell, coughing up blood and clutching at its crushed throat with its useless armstubs. Ignoring the Sonee's strangled choking, the Jerkop drew his foot back to kick another Rosey, but slipped on a pile of bloody flesh from one of the other babies he'd stomped on. With a startled yell, he fell backward, directly on top of a Sonee that was waddling towards Marty. The baby chu's melon-like head disappeared in a bloody spray as Kevin literally sat on it, smashing its skull and part of its upper body. Gritting his teeth in disgust, the Jerkop rolled over and frantically began kicking away Sonees and Roseys left and right. Marty managed to grab a large rock and throw it into the swarm, where it crushed a Rosey's stumpfoot and shattered a second baby's ribcage. Encouraged by his success, the boy heaved another piece of rubble at a Sonee and crushed it into a red paste.

Kevin kicked and kicked, desperately trying to fend off the horde as it closed in around him on all sides. Dozens waddled toward him, and dozens more just kept pouring into the drop site, attracted by the sweet smell of blood and the gleeful cries of their fellow ferals. The Jerkop knew he couldn't hold out forever, or fatigue would soon set in. There were too many, just too many…

"Kevin! Hold on!"

A black boot smashed into a Sonee that had been prodding at Kevin's side with its armstubs, sending the baby chu flying away with a screech of pain. Looking up, Kevin felt a wave of shock and relief surge through him as Zoey worked her way over beside him, pushing herself along with only her feet. The Jerkop's handcuffed arms were covered in little bite marks and a shard of debris from the Battle Bus explosion had cut open her chin, but she was otherwise unharmed, and more than willing to help push back the fuzzy flood of babies sweeping towards them.

"You hurt?" Kevin yelled over the earsplitting "YAY!" of a Rosey behind him. Lashing out with his cuffed hands, he managed to clothesline the feral long enough for Marty to drop a rock on its head and crush its skull.

"No, I'm okay!" Zoey shouted back. "How's Nick doing?"

"Still breathing!" Kevin glanced over his shoulder to where Nick and Ben lay unconscious side by side, right where the loyalists had dumped them. The small air tank had amazingly survived all the way to the abandoned zone, its tube still sticking out of the corner of the wounded sniper's mouth to provide his ruptured lung with oxygen. "Move back! We need to put up a barrier!"

"Good!" The squad leader whirled around and managed to trap a Sonee between her knees, then pressed them together and squished its torso, cracking its ribcage. "What's the plan after that?"

Kevin couldn't answer, mainly because he didn't have the slightest idea.

Back at the Humvee, the second half of the feral swarm had grown impatient and restless, yet continued trying to pull their fat bodies up onto the vehicle. Some of the little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon were even standing on top of each other, piling into a huge mass of squirming yellow and pink fuzz in their haste to reach the two mercenaries. On the hood, Herb and Goody simply pushed off any of the babies who managed to static cling themselves to the side, and continued to spectate the desperate last stand of their Jerkop victims.

"Think we went too far?" Herb asked, watching as a Sonee sank its teeth into Marty's sneaker. The little boy yelled in terror and punched the little chu right in its gut, causing it to shit itself out of stress. Disgusted, Marty kicked away the soiled Sonee and grabbed a small piece of rusty metal to use as a makeshift club. "I mean, that kid's gotta be what, ten, eleven chronologically?"

"Could this be remorse from the great Captain Patterson?" replied Goody, with a sly wink. "You're getting soft."

"Eh." The loyalist officer shrugged. "I forgot. This city's going to hell in a handbasket."

"Hell?" The woman laughed. "We're already there, Herb." She glanced back to the struggle. "Oh look. Sleeping Beauty's finally up."

"What's happening?" yelled Ben as Kevin and Zoey pulled him up and set him in the center of the human barricade between the ferals and Nick. Shocked, he stared across the squealing flood of Sonees and Roseys advancing on them. "What the hell's going on? Kevin, where are we?"

"Abandoned zone!" shouted Kevin as he managed to wind the chain of his handcuffs around a feral and garrote it while kicking away two more. A sudden pain lanced through his hand as a Rosey began biting away at it, but Marty grabbed the baby chu and hurled it away before it could do any significant damage. So far, the little boy hadn't actually killed too many of the ferals – but any defense was better than standing around and crying uselessly. Walsh had taught her son well.

Zoey raised both of her feet and brought them down on a Sonee's back, effectively pancaking the little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's entire midsection. The Sonee shrieked as its chubby belly split and its spine shattered, but the prisoners were too busy fending off its comrades to finish the job. Eventually, another Sonee waddled up to the fallen one and began nibbling at its broken body, cooing with joy as it cannibalized the screaming baby. Kevin fought back a shudder of disgust, then punted a Rosey into the air. Its skirtachute deployed instantly, allowing the chu to gently float back down, straight toward Ben. Unfortunately for the Rosey, its descent came to an abrupt halt when the former mercenary lunged forward and headbutted it out of the sky.

"KEVIN, WATCH OUT!"

"Goo-goo! Woseeeeeeeeey! YAY!"

Kevin felt his blood freeze in his veins as the ominous fwump of opening skirtachutes sounded from above. Looking up, he only had time to let out a terrified yell before three incredibly obese Roseys landed on his face and chest, smothering him in a mess of reeking pink fur and squeals of "YAY!" Marty desperately tried to push the immense babies off of the Jerkop's body, but each one packed nearly forty-five pounds of fat, a truly colossal weight for such small creatures.

"KEVIN!" screamed the little boy as he struggled fruitlessly with one of the Roseys. "KEVIN!"

"MMMPPPPHHHHFFFF!" Kevin managed to yell through the heavy layer of fat pressing into his face. The Roseys weren't even trying to bite him – they just fell forward and let their pudgy bodies cut off his air supply in a disgustingly effective attempt to suffocate the Jerkop. Stars danced in front of Kevin's eyes as he rolled back and forth, trying to throw off the bloated babies before he lost consciousness and asphyxiated in the stinking pillow of fuzz and fat…

CRUNCH! SNAP! CRUNCH!

"WOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY YYY!"

"GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Kevin gasped as one of the fat Roseys was torn from his face, uncovering his mouth and allowing him a single breath of air before a gush of warm, thick liquid splattered onto his face. Something else was on top of him now, its sharp claws digging into his Kevlar vest as it attacked the second feral. Shaking his head, Kevin opened his eyes just in time to see a furious black and white blur tear its way through the next Rosey, ripping its head off and shredding its body into a shower of gore in less than three seconds. Through his bleary vision, the Jerkop could only lie there and watch as the creature leapt at the last of the three baby chus – the one that Marty was fighting – and literally tore it in half, splashing blood across itself, Kevin, and the little boy. Shaking itself triumphantly, it raised its head and let out a vicious snarl.

"GRRRRROWWWWRRRRR!"

"What the f…SUGAR!" yelled Zoey as the berserk honey badger leaped off of Kevin's chest and tackled a Sonee to the ground. Before the little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon could even let out a single scream, Sugarplum Fury lashed out with a clawed paw and ripped its belly open, then plunged her head inside its ribcage and devoured its heart. Spinning around to continue her vicious assault on the feral horde, she growled in rage and pounced on another tiny Sonee from the back, digging her claws into its midsection and biting away at its spine until the baby chu split in half with a sickening crack of bones and a sloppy ripping noise. Sugar left the Sonee's two struggling halves to die, then launched herself at a Rosey and tore its jugular out. The dying larva collapsed with a choking gurgle, blood pooling onto the concrete from its ruined throat.

"The hell?" Goody looked on in disbelief as the fierce little mammal set about carving a bloody swathe through the oncoming swarm of feral Sonees and Roseys. She glanced at Herb, unable to comprehend what had just happened. "What the fuck is…where did that come from?"

"Backseat," the mercenary captain growled as he looked back at the open rear window where Sugar had climbed out. "Must've stowed away on board when we loaded them." He picked up his M16 and beckoned to his lieutenant. "Come on." Kicking a Rosey off of the Humvee with his foot, Patterson waded straight into the horde, ignoring the dozens of little thumps as the baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon beat their armstubs against his thick boots and unsuccessfully tried to bite them. Goody stepped down after him, but made sure to step on a few larvae first.

Panting and gasping, Kevin struggled up as Marty clung to him out of fear. The horrific sickly stench of Rosey still lingered in his nostrils, and his face dripped with chu blood. Sugar had singlehandedly taken over the defense, sending the frightened ferals scurrying backward with each vicious snarl and every butchered Sonee or Rosey. Zoey, Ben, Marty, and Kevin could only look on in silent dread as the pair of mercenaries trudged towards them, their assault rifles aimed directly at the pair of Honey Badgers. The honey badger paid the loyalists no heed, except to move out of their way and pounce on another Rosey, ripping it limb from limb in her rage.

"What do we do?" whispered Marty, hugging Kevin even more tightly as the two mercenaries stopped in front of them. "Kevin, who are they? Are those the bad guys?"

"Yeah," Kevin breathed. "Yeah, Marty, they're the bad guys. Don't…say…anything." Leaning back a few inches, he felt his fingers brush against the rough surface of a large brick. "Marty, listen, I need you to do something really brave for me…"

"Get up, Waters," growled Herb, and prodded Ben in the chest with the snout of his M16. "Come on. Playtime's over. Junior's got the others under control. First thing I want to know…what the fuck were you thinking, you little coward?! They knew the Sparkies were coming, and the only way they could've figured that out is if someone squealed. Someone weak. Someone like you."

"I…I…" Ben stammered, glancing around as sweat dripped profusely from his brow. Kevin and Zoey's jaws dropped open in shock. "Captain, I was undercover! They were gonna use those LIESA drones on me! And…and it's not like I got any of the Jinkies killed!" He gulped, on the verge of tears. "Did I? Oh Arceus, please tell me I didn't-"

"Stop whining," Goody snapped distastefully. "No, no casualties. But I can't say the same for the PVCC and friends. Something big just went down in Tennessee. And I mean Chandler big."

Zoey glanced at Kevin and mouthed 4-cent_garbage. The Jerkop nodded and immediately fixed Ben with one of the single most hateful stares he'd ever given to anyone. The mercenary had played them all for fools – Walsh, Gee, the other administrators of Menchi-Nasu, and worst of all, him. And he'd just begun to trust Waters, too. The betrayal was almost too much to bear.

"You know…" continued Patterson, stroking his beard as he studied Ben. "I've seen your M.O., Waters. Do you ever fucking learn?" He frowned. "I'm sure you've heard this a billion times by now, but it looks like you need a reminder. So you know what I can't stand? Weak links. You know what weak links do? They fuck up squad cohesion. Are you a weak link, kid? Because right now, you're doing a great job of looking the part. You best not be if you want out of here."

"I…WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE ME FOR THE FERALS!" shouted the loyalist, loud enough to startle Sugar away from disemboweling a Sonee. A look of wide-eyed determination flashed across his face – an expression Kevin had never seen before. "Some kind of 'tough love' lesson, right? Was that it? I did what you told me to! What the fuck is your problem with me?!"

"Arceus, Herb," Goody scoffed. "You sure we can't just leave him here another few minutes?"

"I'm considering it," the captain muttered. "There's a fine line between letting some information slip for the greater good…and completely betraying our contractors. I'd say you're leaning towards the latter side, Waters. So here's what I'm gonna do." He patted the knife sheath on his belt, then pointed to Marty, who was still hanging on to Kevin. "You. Kid. Hey kid, come here."

"Stop it! Don't do it, you son of a bitch!" snarled Ben. "Don't you dare fucking hurt him! I won't go on any more scout missions, I promise. For fuck's sake, Captain, he's just a kid!"

"I said, come here." Patterson stepped forward and grabbed Marty's arm, then paused when he noticed the two stubby horns protruding from the boy's head. "Hang on. Goody, take a look."

"Easy. Take it easy, Herb," the female merc interjected, putting on her kindest, most deceptive smile as she reached out and patted the bony red growths. "It's okay, little guy. We're just here to help you. We're gonna take you back to your mommy and get those things all cured and…"

"I DON'T WANNA GET CURED!" screamed Marty, and released his grip on Kevin. Herb only had time to draw a surprised breath before the little boy spun towards him and hurled the brick right at his face. There was a dull thump as the solid block of ceramic smacked into the man's cheek, scraping several small cuts into his skin and nearly knocking him out then and there.

"GET 'EM!" Zoey shouted as she kicked out with both feet, landing a solid blow against Goody's shins and effectively tripping her. "SUGAR, KILL!"

"GRRROWRR!"

Sugar, Zoey, Marty, and Kevin charged simultaneously, colliding with the stunned loyalists in a colossal train wreck of struggling bodies. Around them, the chu larvae watched in confusion, utterly perplexed by the sudden fight that had just broken out and not even bothering to attack the now defenseless Nick and Ben. Unable to grab the mercenaries with his cuffed hands, Kevin launched himself at Herb like a battering ram, driving the top of his head into the officer's chin.

"AAAGH! FUCK!" Patterson went down with a shocked yell and a crack of teeth as Kevin slammed into him and tumbled to the ground, rolling over and over across the bloody concrete while Zoey and Sugar grappled with Goody. "GET OFF! GET OFF, YOU BASTARD!"

WHAM! Stars exploded in front of Kevin's eyes, and blackness closed in from all sides. Pain shot through the side of his head, and before he knew it, he was flat on his back, reeling from where the loyalist had elbowed him in the jaw. Herb was on him in two seconds, dealing punch after punch to the Jerkop's unprotected head while Kevin desperately tried to roll away. At last, he managed to land a firm kick to Patterson's groin, buying him enough time to limp upright as the mercenary staggered backward in agony.

"HERB!" screamed Goody, kicking Zoey in the gut and violently elbowing Sugar off of her shoulder. "HERB, FUCKING SHOOT THEM ALREADY! I GOT THESE TWO!"

"Oh, you little bastard," groaned the loyalist officer, and rose to his feet, grimacing as he drew his pistol and aimed it at Kevin. The assault rifle had been knocked away in the chaos, and there was no time for the Jerkop to make a run for it. "You fucking little bastard! DIE!"

Ben charged into the melee and tackled Herb from the side, grabbing his outstretched hand and wrenching it up, away from Kevin. The pistol went off with a loud bang, startling the crowd of Sonees and Roseys and making several of the yellow-furred larvae shit themselves in surprise. The Jerkop instinctively ducked away and lost his balance once more, crashing painfully to the hard concrete. Stunned, winded, and in immense pain from the mercenary's assault, he could lay there and gasp for breath, his head spinning and a high-pitched, distant whine ringing in his ears.

Click! Click! The cold metal of the handcuffs fell away from Kevin's wrists, finally freeing him from the chafing restraints. Rolling onto his back in amazement, he was greeted by the sight of Marty standing over him with a huge grin on his face, holding up a tiny metal key.

"How…" he wheezed.

"You knocked it off of him!" Marty explained hastily, and tried to help push Kevin back onto his feet. "Kevin, come on! We gotta get out of here!"

"We can't leave Zoey or Nick!" coughed the Jerkop, and pushed himself up off of the ground, massaging his raw, reddened wrists. Ten feet away, Goody and Zoey's battle had only escalated even further. The loyalist had managed to pin her opponent beneath one knee while fending off Sugar and the trapped Jerkop's frantic punches. Hurling the honey badger away with a scream of rage, Goody turned back to Zoey and grappled at her belt for her knife to finish the job.

Kevin rammed into her from behind, grabbing the woman around her waist and heaving her off of Zoey in an impressive burst of adrenaline that surprised even him. Marty immediately dashed over to the surprised Jerkop and unlocked her cuffs, giving Zoey the freedom to grab a single Rosey from a nearby group of larvae and hurl it across the drop site, straight toward Goody.

"Goo-goo!" WHUMP! The twenty-five-pound baby chu smacked into the struggling mercenary and immediately hugged her face, adhering herself with a jolt of static cling. Kevin released his hold on her and sprinted away, back towards where Marty and Zoey were dragging Nick upright.

"I've got him! I've got him, Marty!" Kevin shoved the little boy out of the way and grabbed the wounded sniper's ankles, while Zoey carefully lifted his shoulders. "MARTY! RUN!"

"What about Ben?!" yelled Marty, pointing to where the two mercenaries were still fighting.

As Herb and Ben grappled with each other in a frantic tug-of-war over the captain's pistol, the younger soldier somehow managed to drive his knee into his foe's stomach, stunning the merc long enough for Ben to plant a second, much more powerful blow into his chest. The loyalist's Kevlar vest absorbed most of the damage, but the kinetic force sent him toppling backward over a pile of rubble, directly on top of a group of feral larvae. With only seconds to spare, Ben turned and dashed across the drop site, just as Goody drew her knife and savagely eviscerated the Rosey clinging to her face, plunging the blade into its fat body while it shrieked and struggled in her grasp. Hurling the wailing, dying baby chu away, she spun towards the fleeing Jerkops, but by the time she managed to grab her M21 and kick away two Sonees that were playing with it, the Jerkops, Sugar, Marty, and Ben had disappeared into the adjacent alleyways.

There was no time for relief, or even a thankful prayer. Kevin and Zoey struggled down the alley as fast as they could, a rather difficult task, considering their one hundred and eighty pound load. With Marty and Sugar following close behind them and only a few seconds to spare before the mercenaries gave chase, their options were quickly running out. Kevin didn't even recognize this part of the abandoned zone, and apart from a few skyscrapers looming overhead miles away, he had no idea how the ragtag group would even be able to make it out alive while carrying Nick.

Behind them, a chorus of shrill, panicked screams from the feral Sonees and Roseys was quickly interrupted by the sounds of a SAW light machine gun and a Benelli M4 shotgun firing. Kevin glanced over his shoulder in panic to see several of the baby chus exploding into little showers of blood droplets and flying viscera as the loyalists' vengeful gunfire tore them apart by the dozens. A flashbang grenade burst with a loud pop, stunning and disorienting the little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and giving Herb and Goody even more time to carve their way out. Ben was nowhere to be found, though the young mercenary's safety was currently the least of Kevin's worries.

"Fuck! Goody, come on!" Patterson's voice rang through the streets. "COME ON! MOVE!"

"Over here! Over here!" Zoey hissed, and pulled Kevin and Nick into a little alcove, back behind a pair of dumpsters. "Marty, get in here!" She reached out and grabbed the little boy, yanking him out of the alley just as the beam of a flashlight clicked on. A few of the feral chus followed them into the hiding space, wailing and whining as they climbed into the dumpsters and huddled together around the Jerkops and Marty. It was all Kevin could do to keep from strangling a few of them, but their shrill screams would undoubtedly attract the attention of their pursuers.

"Stay quiet. Stay quiet," he whispered to Marty. The frightened child nodded and gently pushed away a Sonee who was trying to climb onto his lap. His heart pounding, the Jerkop glanced back at Zoey. "We need to be careful - they've got guns now."

"No, shit, Sherlock," hissed the squad leader under her breath, and picked up a smashed glass Coke bottle – a rarity in the days of the CWC Cola monopoly. "Here. There's more."

"Thanks." Kevin reached out and caught the broken bottle as Zoey threw it to him. "What now?"

"Wait." Zoey held up a shaking hand in the universal don't move a muscle unless you want to die gesture. "They're coming. As soon as they go past, I'll lure them away. Marty, Sugar, you two stay with Nick. Kevin, go for the Hummer and get our guns back."

Kevin nodded and froze as the sound of footsteps slowed to a halt just a few yards away. The Sonee abandoned its attempt to climb on Marty and waddled toward the new noises, cooing and making little curious baby noises. A deafening burst of machine gun fire obliterated the baby chu before it could even scream, blasting its fat body into a chunky red stain on the adjacent wall. Clapping a hand over the little boy's mouth to silence his involuntary yell of surprise, Kevin held Marty close while Zoey stroked his hair, desperately trying to keep him calm as the noise faded.

"Fjandinn!" cursed Goody. "Why the hell didn't we bring Rory?"

Patterson muttered something to himself. Kevin could barely distinguish the words 'PVCC', 'Waters', and 'coward'. "I'll call this in. Judging by all the ferals we left back there, it's gonna turn into a feeding frenzy in the next minute or so. If anyone goes for the Hummer, we'll hear it."

Oh, son of a bitch, the Jerkop thought to himself as he realized that the merc was utterly correct.

"We'll go around the block," said Patterson. "If they're not here, then fuck 'em. Stay close." He took a few steps toward the burst Sonee that Goody had just killed, then dashed down the alley.

"Go," whispered Zoey once the two mercenaries' footsteps had faded away. She pushed Kevin out of their hiding place and followed after him, leaving Marty, Nick, and Sugar behind the dumpster. "Sugar, silencer on, defensive mode. Marty, I don't want you leaving this spot, okay?"

The little boy nodded. In any other case, Kevin would have objected to leaving Marty on his own with a honey badger and an unconscious Jerkop for company. But the only way for himself and his friends to survive a trip through the heart of the abandoned zone was if they managed to get their weapons back from the loyalists. And that meant risking his life to save Nick and Marty.

"Don't take too long," ordered the squad leader, and vanished down the alley, bottle in hand.

As Kevin made his way back to the drop site, thoughts of Ben flashed through his head again and again, like a mantra of utter betrayal. The young mercenary's struggle against his superiors was just another subplot in the twisted story he'd woven, and the Jerkops had bought it completely. Somehow, he must have had a tracking device planted on him before he pretended to surrender, but how the Menchi-Nasu administrators had managed to miss it still remained a mystery. In any case, Kevin wasn't particularly looking forward to another encounter with Ben. If and when that happened, though, he knew that it wouldn't end well for the loyalist.

The Jerkop stepped around the corner and out into the open, keeping his broken bottle at the ready. It was a rather pathetic weapon when compared to Patterson's M16 and Goody's SAW, but in any case, it was better than nothing. Now that the element of surprise had been lost, the playing field had undergone a major shift in the favor of the loyalists. As for the ferals, well…

"YAY! Sonee! Sonee! Goo-gaa!"

"Sonee! YAY!"

"Goo-goo! Wosey!"

"Fuck me," whispered Kevin. The drop site was literally crawling with Sonees and Roseys – an immense squirming carpet of dirty, bloody yellow and pink fur. All of the babies that Sugar, the operatives, and the mercenaries had killed were now serving as a massive buffet for nearly two hundred eager, ravenous little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. The sickeningly sweet stenches of high-fructose corn syrup and blood rose from the corpses, wafting up into the Jerkop's nostrils.

To the north, a pair of Roseys were fighting over scraps of fatty flesh from one of the Sonees that Kevin had kicked into the wall. Nearby, a good two dozen larval chus were clustered around the corpses of the three fat Roseys, savagely gnawing at the flabby pink piles of bloody fuzz with squeals of joy, while a tiny Sonee wriggled its way into one of the corpses and began eating it from the inside out. Another Sonee, one with a broken stumpfoot, was now screaming in pain and trying to push away a trio of baby chus who were munching on its belly and lower body.

They're starving, Kevin thought as he carefully made his way into the living minefield of feasting Sonees and Roseys. They're running out of food. No wonder they're turning on each other. The idea of the babies cannibalizing themselves into extinction was a pleasant one…until the Jerkop remembered the feral Rosechu and her miniature larvae out in the east jungle. If one feral could get out of the city, more would follow. And then…a global cataclysm would ensue.

Kevin hoped that the mercenaries had left a few high-explosive or incendiary grenades in the Humvee. The opportunity for a little feral population control was just too good to pass up.

"Kevin!" a hushed voice whispered. Startled, the operative looked to his right to see Ben approaching through the crowd of larval Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Blood trickled from the mercenary's mouth, and the skin around his left eye was rapidly darkening. Patterson was a much more experienced fighter than him, and Ben seemed to have taken a few solid blows.

The Jerkop flipped the bottle around, preparing to stab Ben. "Get away from me, motherfucker."

"No!" The young soldier raised both hands, his eyes wide with shock. "Kevin, what are you-"

"Shut your fucking mouth, you backstabbing piece of shit," snarled Kevin, and reached for the door handle of the Humvee. Wrenching it open, he punched the unlock button on the door, then for good measure, popped the trunk to reveal two AK-47s, Nick's sniper rifle and machete, three Berettas, an assortment of clips and magazines, and three knives. With a sigh of relief, Kevin snatched up his assault rifle, George's knife, and his pistol, then returned his gaze to Ben.

The mercenary trembled. "Please, Kevin. Please. I didn't want any of this to happen."

"Shut up." The Jerkop grabbed Zoey and Nick's pistols and stowed them in his pants pockets. His shoulder sling would only hold one gun, and at the moment, Zoey's AK was the much more preferable option. He knew the sniper rifle had been Nick's weapon of choice since he'd joined the PVCC, but in such a dire situation, sacrifices had to be made. Loaded down with nearly all of the weapons the mercenaries had confiscated, he raised his assault rifle and whirled toward his prisoner, paying no heed to the Sonees and Roseys swarming into the Humvee's front seat.

"Kevin," Ben pleaded desperately. "You don't understand. We need to get out of here before th-"

Two deafening bursts from Goody's SAW echoed through the desolate streets, followed by a single blast from the M4 as the two mercenaries opened fire on something. A few seconds of silence passed by, and the Jerkop's blood nearly froze then and there. No. It couldn't be…

The gunfire resumed, louder and more intense than before. The loyalists were on the move, and judging by their change in position, it seemed as if they were chasing something, or someone.

"ZOEY!" Kevin shouted in panic, momentarily forgetting that he was supposed to be keeping quiet. Abandoning Ben, he dashed toward where the noise had come from, kicking and stomping his way through the swarm of feasting ferals. Several of the baby chus hurriedly activated their static cling and adhered their fat, dense little bodies to his legs, but in his haste, Kevin merely shook them off or trampled them until only a single Sonee remained, stubbornly clutching the Jerkop's right calf and gnawing on the tough leather of his combat boot with its toothless mouth.

"Sonee!" it squealed, frustrated by such an utterly stressful situation. "Goo-goo! Nee! Goo-gee!"

Dropping the AK-47's barrel, the Jerkop jabbed it down into the Sonee's eye socket, forcing it to let go. The baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon screeched in pain and rolled away, its green reptilian eyeball dangling by threads of optic nerve as blood sprayed from the circular wound. Kevin ignored its piteous shrieks and hurtled into the street, his heart hammering like a…

BOOM!

"AAAGGHHHH!" Kevin screamed and collapsed backward, knocked off his feet as something like a cannon blast caught him in the side of his bulletproof vest. Unable to stop himself due to the weight of so much equipment, he spun and landed on his side, smacking his left arm against a tipped-over garbage can. His chest burned, and blood was seeping into his shirt from a cut in his shoulder, but the Kevlar seemed to have stopped most of the buckshot. Any closer, and the M4 blast would have pulped his torso quicker than Gallagher's hammer meeting a watermelon.

"Juliet down! Juliet down!" roared Patterson as he and Goody bolted toward the fallen Jerkop. "I clipped him, Goody, put a few bullets into that son of a-"

The flying bottle crashed into the back of the mercenary's unprotected head, shattering into a dozen large fragments and instantly sending Herb stumbling forward, stunned by the sudden and excruciatingly painful blow. Before Goody could even turn around, Zoey slammed into her like a battering ram, dealing the female loyalist a crippling smash across the wrist with a thick piece of rusty pipe. The Icelandic woman staggered backward with a choking cry, her light machine gun clattering against the street as the Jerkop lunged again and took a vicious swing at her head.

This time, Goody was prepared. Leaping backward out of the way before the pipe could smash her skull open, she grappled for the pistol at her side, ripped it free of its holster, and managed to fire off a hasty shot that missed her opponent's shoulder by inches. Zoey hurled the pipe through the air and, anticipating the loyalist's dodge, drove her elbow into Goody's jaw. Another crack echoed through the street as the pistol went off a second time, fired reflexively by the soldier as Zoey grabbed her arm and twisted it around, neatly disarming her and reaching out to grab the falling weapon. Before she could, though, Goody neatly twisted around and punched her in the gut, forcing them both apart as the pistol clattered away, out of reach.

Breathless and nearly paralyzed from the shotgun blast he'd just received, Kevin lay motionless, staring up in terror and awe as the two women circled each other, waiting for each other to make the first move. Gritting her teeth, the mercenary drew her combat knife again and twirled it in her hand, its blade still stained with larval chu blood.

"That little pussy's your boyfriend, huh?" she spat, glancing at Kevin through hate-filled eyes.

Keeping her gaze locked on Goody's, Zoey simply knelt down and picked up the pipe from where it had fallen. Her eyes narrowed. "My squadmate."

The loyalist chuckled. "Hate to keep you two apart for so-" Moving with surprising speed, she lunged straight at Zoey, catching the Jerkop off guard and driving the knife's blade straight at her throat. If Zoey hadn't brought up the pipe in time to stave off the attack, it would have sliced her jugular open. Wasting no time, she sidestepped and threw a punch at Goody's stomach, but missed as the soldier nimbly dodged out of the way.

"Clever. Oh, that's nice," hissed Goody. "Still amateur, little girl." She tossed the knife from hand to hand mockingly. "Free lesson of the day. Don't go all in on a two-on-one. HERB!"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE, PATTERSON!" a voice roared from behind Kevin. Rolling over, the Jerkop could barely make out a blurry figure in blue armor approaching from the drop site with Nick's sniper rifle clutched in his hands and aimed directly at Patterson's chest.

"You little son of a bitch!" The mercenary captain staggered to his feet, clutching the back of his head where a matted patch of bloody hair had appeared. He reached for his M16, completely disregarding Ben's threat. "You think I'm a goddamn fool, don't you, Waters? You think your little act got me scared? The only things you've ever shot without me holding your hand all the way were your own fucking feet, you coward!" Raising the assault rifle, he took aim at Ben. "You want to stab your whole goddamn squad in the back, Waters? HAVE IT YOUR WAY!"

The air exploded in a storm of muzzle flashes and deafening bangs as the two mercenaries dove for cover and fired, sending rifle rounds zipping up and down the street while Zoey and Goody clashed together again and again in their vicious assault. Squeezing his eyes shut, Kevin crawled toward a large pile of crumbling bricks and garbage. If he could make it away from the shootout, it would be the best opportunity he'd ever get to send a few unexpected salvos toward Patterson.

"Wosey! SEY!"

"Gaa-gaa! YAY! Sonee! Nee!"

"Sonee! Goo-goo!"

"YAY! Seeeeeeeeeeee! YAY! WOSEY!"

Kevin froze. Beneath him, the ground seemed to be trembling, as if a small earthquake had struck the abandoned zone. A single Rosey popped its head out of a large open manhole adjacent to where the two women were fighting, then let out a happy "YAY!" and pulled its plump body out of the sewers. A Sonee followed, then another Sonee, then a Rosey, until the ferals were literally swarming out of the CWCville underground, attracted by the smell of fresh blood.

Paying no heed to the stunted pink and yellow crowd forming around her and her enemy, Zoey dodged a furious slash from Goody, dropped to one knee, and landed another direct hit by smashing the lead pipe into the mercenary's shin, right over the spot that she had kicked earlier. With a cry of agony, Goody raised her other foot and stomped down hard on Zoey's hand, grinding it down against the concrete as the Jerkop shrieked in pain and headbutted the loyalist soldier in the stomach. Goody went down with a stunned gasp, but managed to right herself and kick the fallen pipe out of the way. Laughing wickedly, she tossed the knife into her other hand and lunged down toward her now-disarmed opponent.

"ZOEY!" Flinging out his arm, Kevin sent Nick's machete clattering across the street, straight towards the dueling women. Zoey rolled away as the blade of Goody's knife struck the concrete with a scraping clang, flung out her arm, and managed to grab the machete's handle. Panting from utter exhaustion, the Jerkop pushed herself up off the street to avoid another slash from the enraged mercenary, whirled the menacing blade around, and swept it toward Goody's head.

CLANG!

"ENOUGH!" snarled the mercenary as she grabbed Zoey's wrist and twisted it, forcing the blade down into the hard concrete. Laughing madly, she spun the combat knife around and stabbed upward, hard. "GO TO HELL, DRUSLAN! GO TO HELL, YOU JERKOP SLUT!"

Kevin never heard his own scream of horror, or Zoey's pained gasp as the wicked blade pierced her abdomen and carried on into her stomach. He couldn't even hear the gunfire around him, or the happy squeals of the Sonees and Roseys that had gathered to watch the battle. The world had gone silent and still, and the only thing that he could feel now was the pounding of his own heart.

As if lost in a trance, Zoey stumbled backward, clutching her bleeding stomach as Goody stalked toward her to finish the job. Kevin looked on, paralyzed, unable to even reach for his pistol.

Wordlessly, the female mercenary lunged forward again and again, driving the blade into her foe's stomach again and again and laughing madly as the Jerkop's blood squirted over her hands. At long last, she withdrew her knife from Zoey and stepped back, grinning with satisfaction.

"Zoey," Kevin gasped, his voice just barely reaching the level of a whisper. "Zoey, no…no…"

In the time it took for Zoey to fall to her knees, Kevin could have leapt to his feet, hurled himself at Goody, and emptied his AK-47's magazine into the back of her head. But nothing seemed able to overcome the sudden paralysis that had taken hold of his body. It was as if he had been locked in place by some immense unseen force, unable to help his squad leader as she pitched forward and vomited onto the street, coughing up a gush of blood from her mutilated stomach.

"Disgusting," the mercenary panted, and picked up the machete to end Zoey's suffering once and for all. "Don't worry, little rebel, I'll make it all go away." She grinned and raised the blade.

"Kev…" coughed the dying Jerkop as she looked up at her horrified squadmate. "Kevin…run…"

Goody laughed and looked back. "Don't worry, I'll send your little boyfriend along. Eventually."

"RUN!" Zoey shouted, and hurled herself at the loyalist with a final, desperate burst of energy, fastening her arms around Goody's chest in a death grip and ripping the pins out of the four grenades on her belt. The mercenary's last laugh immediately gave way to a scream of panic as the wounded Jerkop tackled her to the ground, driving her backward by sheer momentum…

Directly into the open manhole.

Locked together in their eternal struggle, Zoey and Goody plunged headlong into the darkness. For a moment, only gunfire reigned in the world above. Then came a single bright light from below.

With a sound like a muffled cannon blast and an intense burst of heat, a plume of vicious flames erupted out of the blackness, engulfing any Sonees and Roseys standing adjacent to the abyss. The piercing screams of a hundred dying ferals echoed through the sewers below the abandoned zone, while up above, the burning baby chus waddled around in agony and despair, tripping, screaming, and setting fire to their comrades in pathetic attempts to extinguish their fiery fur.

Far beneath the streets of CWCville, the fire spread ever onward, devouring and consuming Sonees and Roseys by the dozens in its insatiable, vengeful hunger. Like tiny, shrieking fireballs, the swarm of blazing larvae squirmed helplessly and dropped dead, their final screams cut short by blistering, flickering, hungry flames. And when the last of the tiny burning bodies finally died out in a short puff of black smoke, the sewers returned to silence at last.

Illuminated by a circle of afternoon light from above, the victims of the Jerkop's last stand lay strewn about her tomb of rubble from where the sewer walls had buckled and collapsed in the explosion. One hundred and eighty-four dead Sonees and Roseys, claimed by fire and stone, consumed in a single brilliant blaze until nothing remained of the once-mighty horde but a few dozen survivors, a thick cloud of ash, and a blanket of little blackened corpses.

And beneath the smoking debris of her final resting place, Zoey Francesca lay in peace at last.

---

Southeast CWCville, abandoned zone, alleyways, 3:38 p.m.

"Gaa-gaa!"

"Wosey! Sey! Goo-goo!"

"YAY! Sonee!"

"GRROWR!" Sugarplum Fury snarled, bristling up and baring her bloody teeth. Another group of feral Sonees and Roseys was approaching from the alley, having grown bored of fighting with the main swarm over scraps of meat from the Feeding Day drop site. In the ten minutes since Kevin and Zoey had left, the voracious honey badger had racked up quite the impressive number of kills, leaving the small alcove decorated with scraps of bloody fur and pieces of baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Nevertheless, the naïve larvae persisted in their exploration.

"Goo-gaa!" squeaked a Sonee as it appeared over the rim of the dumpster and stared down at the huddled group of fugitives. Its fat face split into an infuriatingly smug smile. "Sonee! Goo-goo!"

"Go away!" Marty yelled, and hurled a rock at the Sonee. A meaty thump sounded from above, followed by a frightened scream of "SONEEEEEEEEE!" as the baby chu toppled back and fell headfirst into the dumpster. There was a muffled clang, and then, blissful silence.

"Grrowr." Sugar sniffed the air and nuzzled the child's arm, wiping her bloody muzzle on his sleeve. Marty absentmindedly petted her behind the ears as he watched Nick's chest rise and fall with each shallow breath. The Jerkop wasn't doing too well, but at least he was still alive.

"I wish they'd come back," Marty murmured to the honey badger. "Do you think they're okay?"

As if to reassure him, Sugar cocked her head to the side and growled softly, then resumed watching the alley as the sounds of giggling Sonees and Roseys grew closer and closer. Gunfire continued to reverberate through the streets a block away from their hiding spot – the same place where Kevin and Zoey were fighting the mercenaries who had brought them all here to die.

"I just wanted to say thanks for getting me out of there," the little boy continued, looking at Nick and Sugar. His cheeks were smudged with dirt, and tear streaks ran down his face from his deep crimson eyes. "But I wannna go home, Sugar! I just wanna go home and see Mom again."

"YAY! Heeheehee! Goo-gee! Tee hee! YAY!" Another Sonee and a Rosey shuffled out of the alleyway, giggling and holding armstubs as if they were a pair of lovestruck teenagers instead of two hideously deformed mock-babies. At the sight of the two humans and the honey badger, the larvae paused for a moment, stared, then waddled forward, directly into the danger zone. Before Marty could even raise a finger to point them out, Sugar had leaped out of his arms, teeth bared.

"GRRROWR!" CRUNCH! Before the Sonee could even shriek, the vicious little mammal had fastened her jaws around his head, piercing his fragile skull with her teeth. All it took was a single bite, and the fuzzy baby rodent suddenly found himself missing a large chunk of brain and the middle of his head. The Rosey screamed in terror, but was quickly silenced when Sugar rushed forward and pushed her over onto her back. Plunging both of her front paws into the wriggling larva's belly, she let out a savage snarl and wrenched the baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's entire torso open lengthwise, exposing it ribcage through a thick layer of fatty tissue.

"WOSEEEEEEEEEEEY! WOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!" screeched the Rosey, kicking and thrashing back and forth as the honey badger sank her teeth into the thin bones that formed her victim's ribs and cracked them all off in a single bite, then crunched them up like sticks of candy. Marty looked away in disgust as Sugar tore apart the little chu, focusing instead on a tattered old poster lying beside him. Reaching out, he grabbed the piece of paper and straightened it out, revealing an ugly caricature of Christian Weston Chandler being kicked in the rear by a much more appealing character – an attractive blond woman in a purple dress with horns and a tail…

"Mom?" he whispered in sudden realization and awe.

There was no question about it – the woman in the poster could have only been Mary Lee Walsh herself. Fascinated, the boy stared at the picture for a few more seconds, then looked down at the caption - KICK HIS FAT ASS! A sudden rush of pride surged through Marty as he finally grasped just how important his mother was to the city of CWCville and the people living under the rule of Chandler and his abominations. She was a symbol of freedom, of hope…of rebellion.

Footsteps sounded from the alley outside, accompanied by a chorus of apprehensive "goo-goo"s from the ferals. Marty held his breath, hoping that it was Zoey or Kevin, or maybe even Ben. The last option seemed the most likely, since the harsh rattle of gunfire was still echoing around the deserted streets and alleys. If not, and it turned out to be someone else, then the afternoon was about to get quite a bit more interesting, and most likely, quite a bit more terrifying, too.

Wordlessly, Kevin stepped into the alcove, clutching his AK-47 so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Another AK was strapped across his back, and an assortment of knives and pistols had been shoved through his belt and into the pockets of his cargo pants. The Jerkop's face was frighteningly blank, but Marty could tell that something was troubling him immensely.

"Kevin?" he asked, tentatively taking a few steps toward the motionless operative. "What's wr-"

"She's gone," murmured Kevin. Sinking to his knees, he began removing the extra weapons and placing them all in a pile. Sugar looked up from the feral Rosey she had been devouring and trotted up to him, nuzzling his hand as though she could sense his pain.

"What? Who's gone?"

"Nothing," the Jerkop stated hastily, snapping out of his withdrawal with alarming speed. "We're getting you back to your mom, okay? Okay?"

"Okay," replied Marty shakily. "Aren't we gonna wait for Zoey and B-"

"They're fine," Kevin lied with surprising ease. "Don't worry about them. I'm just going to take you to the Library, we'll find out what happened, and then we'll all be safe again…" His voice broke and trailed off for a few seconds, before returning to its former state. "Marty, I'm gonna need you to help me carry some of this. We can't leave anything behind."

Marty looked around in confusion. "Can we call someone to pick us up? Mom said there's a-"

"My radio's broken." Kevin's mouth twisted into a bitter grimace as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a smashed walkie-talkie. "We're gonna have to walk right through the middle of the abandoned zone if we want to get to the Library. I'll carry Nick, and you stay close to me." Kneeling beside the unconscious sniper, he gingerly eased Nick's arms over his shoulders, as if giving him a piggyback ride, then hoisted him up with Marty's help and tucked the air tank under an arm. A stretcher would have been safer, but he had no other choice at the moment. "Sugar, come on. Defensive mode, escort."

"Grrowr!" The honey badger shook herself off and scurried after her substitute master, sniffing the air and scanning the alley for any Sonees or Roseys who dared to enter her attack range. Marty hesitated for a few moments, then picked up the bundle of pistols and knives and clumsily followed Kevin out of the alcove. Despite the Jerkop's reassuring lie, the little boy could sense that something had gone wrong…very wrong. He didn't know what had happened out there with the mercenaries, but what he did know was that it had completely shattered Kevin's spirit.

The afternoon sun shone down through the empty, looming buildings of the abandoned zone as Kevin struggled onward, weighted down by Nick's body and the two AK-47s he was carrying. Sugar and Marty trailed close behind him, keeping watch in case any feral packs decided to investigate the pathetically small convoy of survivors. It was a small comfort to know that they might still survive the nightmarish encounter, but the Jerkop's mind was still locked in a near-constant state of what he could only describe as a perfect mix of shock and bitter denial.

There was no avoiding the horrible truth. Zoey was dead, and the Honey Badgers squad had now been cut down to just nine operatives. With Nick all but completely out of the picture, that left the Jerkops at a grand total of eight – himself, Steve, Allie, Kuri, Nate, Matt, Jexis, and Serge. And he wasn't even sure that they had all escaped with their lives, either. The thought of losing Matt, or Nate, or Allie…it almost made him want to just collapse again and never get back up.

But he couldn't do that. Not after losing so much. Mary Lee Walsh was depending on him to save her only son, and without Zoey or Steve or any of his squadmates, Kevin had been forced right into a position of leadership for his little group. Sugarplum Fury knew it too – she was obeying his orders promptly and without question, yet another testament to the honey badger's unyielding loyalty to her owners. That, or she just knew that the feral Sonees and Roseys would seek them out as easy targets. Either way, Kevin was glad to have her watching his back.

"Marty?" he asked, glancing back to where Marty was walking alongside Sugar.

The little boy looked up, startled. "What?"

"Come here. Let's just talk for a bit," the Jerkop offered, forcing his face into a friendly smile.

"Okay." Marty dashed forward and fell into step beside Kevin. "What do you wanna talk about?"

Kevin sighed. "Well, Mary told Steve and Zoey and I not to tell anyone that she's your mom, but since Nick's sleeping…could you tell me a little about yourself?"

"Sure," replied Marty, and touched his stubby horns timidly. "I dunno why I've got these, but Mom says that they're special and that I shouldn't show them to anyone. I've got a tail, too."

"What?" Kevin turned around to face the child, astonished. He had always wondered why Mary Lee Walsh had chosen a horned hairband and devil tail belt as part of her wardrobe. Now that he was talking with her son, though, the PVCC supreme commander's odd choice of accessories was starting to make sense. "Marty, did your mom ever tell you…about your f-"

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE

Lightning seared through the Jerkop's head, an intense pain that pierced the deepest center of his mind like a javelin. For a split second, the desolate street vanished in a flash of violet-white light, and Kevin glimpsed something in the distance - something that resembled the mouth of a cave.

"Do not question that which you will never understand, pawn," an ominous voice echoed from out of the darkness.

The light blazed again, and suddenly he was lying on his side in the street, gasping for air with Nick's limp body and the load of weaponry piled on top of him.

"Kevin!" Marty cried, and knelt beside the fallen operative. "Kevin, what happened?"

"I'm fine," Kevin panted, and struggled to his feet as cold droplets of sweat broke out across his forehead. Gritting his teeth, he managed to lift Nick again. "I think…it's just…I'm just tired…"

The little boy remained silent, staring directly into Kevin's eyes with a look of absolute dread. Alarmed, the Jerkop smiled weakly and patted Marty on the head, even as another painful stab lanced into his skull. "Hey. It's gonna be fine. Everything's gonna be fine. We've just gotta get-"

"SONEEEEEEEE! WAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"GOO-GEEEEEEE!"

"SEEEEEEEE! WOSEY! WAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Oh, fuck," breathed Kevin as an immense pack of feral Sonees and Roseys poured out of the shattered display windows of an abandoned Poké Mart just twenty yards up the street, many of them toppling down onto the street with surprised "Oof!"s as they smacked against the concrete. Spilling from the darkened building like a deluge of filthy, garishly-colored sewer rats, the larval Electric Hedgehog Pokémon surged toward the group of survivors in a waddling, tripping flood of bloodstained yellow and pink fur. Kevin had never seen the ferals so utterly frenzied before.

There was no way he would be able to outrun such a large swarm, burdened as he was by Nick's body. Marty could easily make it out alive with Sugar, but unless Kevin left the unconscious sniper behind to be eaten, the babies would devour them both in a matter of minutes. Even if he managed to kill a few, what little energy remained in his body was quickly fading away with every labored breath. Both fight and flight, it seemed, would lead to death.

"Marty," he coughed, and placed Nick's body on the street behind him. Drawing his AK-47, he pressed the stock against his shoulder and took aim at the forefront of the horde. "Marty, run."

"KEVIN!" screamed the little boy, and dashed forward, throwing his arms around the Jerkop's waist. "Kevin, please don't! Give me a gun! Sugar and I can hold them off! We can stop them!"

"Sugar," ordered Kevin, staring at the honey badger intensely. "Escort Library."

"GRRROWR!" snarled Sugar, and whirled to face the oncoming tide of baby chus. "ROWWR!"

"DIRECT ORDER, SUGAR!" the Jerkop roared. "ESCORT LIBRARY! GO! GET OUT OF-"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

"SONEEEEEEEEEEE! SONEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"What…the…FUCK!?" Kevin shouted, nearly tripping backward over Nick's body as the scaly hooded head of a monstrous Arbok emerged from the shattered front entrance of the Poké Mart. Hissing angrily, the ravenous snake Pokémon slithered out of the building and into the street, its powerful tail coiled around a single struggling Sonee. As its tiny fuzzy prey kicked and screamed helplessly, it constricted itself tightly around the feral and let out a vicious roar. The Sonee only had time for a single piercing shriek before its tiny body was reduced to a blood-soaked lump of splintered bones and pulped meat and organs, mixed with yellow fur and battery-blue plastic.

Lashing out with its muscular tail, the Arbok hurled the Sonee's remains into the crowd of panic-stricken ferals, splattering four of the baby chus with blood, bone shards, and bits of flesh. As the frightened screams and cries of the terrified Sonees and Roseys echoed around it, the hungry Pokémon lunged forward almost too quickly for the eye to follow, quickly catching a little Rosey that had tripped and was struggling to get back up. In a flash, the pink-furred hoglet was wailing and writhing in the Arbok's mouth, shuddering as the venomous fangs penetrated its pudgy, incredibly vulnerable body again and again. With another roar, the massive purple snake jerked its head around and shattered the Rosey's spine, then unhinged its jaw and swallowed the larva.

"ARBOK!" it snarled, and launched itself into the swarm once again. Kevin, Marty, and Sugar stood their ground, watching in astonishment as the Arbok growled and snapped and tore half a dozen infant chus apart in the first assault alone. Blood and saliva dripped from the serpentine predator's curved fangs, running down its face in rivers while it feasted on the helpless baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Its scaly body was thin and nightmarishly emaciated, its eyes were little more than milky white slits, and its ribcage was clearly visible through thin layers of grey, filthy skin. In short, the Arbok looked like it had been living out in the abandoned zone for years.

Silently and slowly, Kevin shouldered his AK-47, knelt beside Nick, and heaved his squadmate's body back up onto his shoulders, making sure not to attract any unwanted attention from the berserk Arbok. Marty ran behind him for protection as the crowd of Sonees and Roseys scattered and waddled past, paying no heed to the humans or the honey badger in their panic. Step by step, the Jerkop made his way up the street, circling around the edge of the slaughter and hoping that the Pokémon wouldn't notice them before they managed to slip away.

"SSSSSSSSS!"

Kevin froze, and slowly turned to face the Arbok as it let out another aggressive hiss. Swaying back and forth while the surviving feral Sonees and Roseys dispersed into the safety of their dumpsters, garbage cans, and manholes, the six-foot predatory Pokémon spread its hood open and opened its jaws to reveal two bloodstained rows of fangs as long as Kevin's little finger.

"Arceus," he whispered, and took another step away. "Marty, don't look at it. Don't look…"

"AAAAARRRRRBOK!"

"OH, SHIT!" screamed Kevin as the serpent lowered its head and charged, slithering across its killing grounds and leaving a trail of tiny fuzzy corpses and entrails in its wake. There wasn't even enough time for him to reach for his pistol. Like some horrific beast from out of the underworld, the Arbok reared in front of him and spread its hood, hissing as it prepared to strike.

"GRRROWR!" Using the Jerkop's shoulder as a springboard, Sugar launched herself into the air and pounced at the ravenous predator's face, snarling viciously as she collided with the Arbok and dug her claws into its fearsome hood. Caught completely off guard by the honey badger's attack, the giant snake toppled over and thrashed, swinging its heavily muscled tail to and fro. Sugar clamped her jaws onto the back of its neck and held on for dear life as the Pokémon hissed and fought and tried to throw her off. Back in her homeland, she'd killed dozens of snakes this way. To her, the Arbok was just a larger, stronger, and slightly more challenging foe.

Kevin retreated quickly, pulling Marty out of the way as the Pokémon's deadly tail slammed down against the street, half a foot away from striking the little boy. As Sugar bit and scratched at her foe's unprotected hood, the Jerkop hurriedly placed Nick back on the ground and drew his assault rifle, then cursed as he realized he wouldn't be able to open fire on the Arbok without risking Sugar's life. His mind racing, Kevin quickly scanned the streets. He couldn't shoot the Pokémon, and he certainly couldn't attack it at close range and risk being bitten, constricted, or otherwise maimed by the serpent's frantic struggles. The stores seemed like the kind of place where he could find something useful, but all of the ones he could see had been boarded up or otherwise barricaded - except for a diner, a hardware store, the Poké Mart…

"MARTY, STAY HERE!" Kevin yelled as he sprinted across the battleground and through the doorway leading into the Poké Mart. The sounds of Sugar's snarling and the Arbok's frenzied hisses and roars echoed through the street behind him, further adding to the Jerkop's escalating panic. Desperately shoving dusty piles of training manuals and boxes of long-expired Full Heals and Revives aside, he tore through shelf after shelf, ignoring the clouds of dust and cobwebs that had spread throughout the store during its eight years of abandonment and looting.

Something soft and sticky crunched beneath him as he stepped down. Looking down, Kevin was disgusted to find half of a Rosey's mutilated corpse stuck to the bottom of his boot. The store was literally blanketed with dozens of dead baby chus and tiny skeletons, as well as great piles of shed snakeskin. The Arbok had been living on its own for quite some time, it seemed.

"KEVIN!" Marty yelled from outside. "KEVIN, COME ON! PLEASE!"

"Where…are…you…you…little…fuckers?" snarled Kevin as he furiously kicked the desiccated carcass of a Sonee into the wall, where it burst in a cascade of dust and dried-up skin. Pushing over an entire display case, he rifled through a rack of vitamin pills, then moved on to the next shelf. They couldn't have all been looted – not in the abandoned zone. There had to be some left.

Outside, Sugar let out a shrill yelp of pain. Kevin whirled around just in time to see the Arbok's fangs slice across the honey badger's tough little body, breaking the skin. Shaking off the painful injury, Sugar dropped to the street and leapt back to avoid another fierce bite from the Pokémon. She wobbled around shakily, making soft growls as the venom attacked her from the inside.

"Arrrrrbok…" hissed the Arbok victoriously. Spreading its hood, it snaked its tail forward and looped the end around Sugar's torso, drawing the honey badger into its steely coils. Its emaciated body dripped with blood, and the battle had worn out most of its strength, but at least it still had enough left to finish off this tough little meddling black and white furball…

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

The Arbok twisted towards the shout and narrowed its pure white eyes, focusing in on the front of the store. Kevin leapt down into the street, gritting his teeth and clutching a pair of small red and white spherical objects, one in the palm of each hand. Holding one up in the air, he tapped the button in its center, menacingly increasing the object's size to that of a grapefruit.

"Bok?" The Pokémon drew back cautiously, watching as the Jerkop advanced on it with the dusty ball raised to throw. Hissing, it tightened its grip on Sugar's torso. "ARBOK!"

"Yeah, that's right," snapped Kevin, and flung the Poké Ball with all the energy he could muster.

"GRRROWR!" Sugar tumbled free of the Arbok's coils as the flying projectile smacked it right in the face and automatically split open along its hinged edge. In a flash of white light, the Poké Ball had lanced out with a bolt of energy, ensnaring the struggling Pokémon and dragging the entire six-foot serpent into the small red and white sphere, just like the traps from Ghostbusters.

Kevin and Marty watched with anticipation, waiting as the little ball twitched back and forth on the street. The captured Arbok was trying to break free, and the Jerkop had no idea how much power remained inside the Poké Ball. Pressing the center button on the second capture device, he took another few steps forward and snapped into a pitching stance, just like he'd always done on his baseball teams back in middle and elementary school. If both the first ball and the backup failed, then he would have no choice but to shoot the Arbok before it killed them all.

The Poké Ball twitched a final time, and lay still. Kevin exhaled slowly, keeping a watchful eye on the sphere as he walked up and nudged it with his foot. As if handling an unstable bomb, the Jerkop knelt down beside it, reached out, and picked it up. Sensing his touch, the little device immediately shrank into its portable mode and blinked, alerting him of a successful capture.

"Kevin?" Marty asked nervously, gently picking up the wounded honey badger as she stumbled towards him. Sugar's breathing had grown shallow and erratic, but apart from the venom in her system, she seemed to be coping with her injuries rather well. "Is it gone? Is the snake gone?"

"No, Marty," Kevin murmured as an immense grin spread across his face. "It's not gone." He attached the Poké Ball to his belt, nearly collapsing with happiness and relief as the sheer weight of what he'd just done struck him from all angles simultaneously. "It…it's…mine."

"Okay…" The little boy scratched his head nervously, glancing around as a dozen tiny pairs of green reptilian eyes locked onto him, Kevin, Nick, and Sugar. Now that the apex predator of that section of the abandoned zone had been dealt with, the ferals would soon realize that the wild Arbok's reign of blood and terror had reached its end. And when that happened, the fugitives didn't want to be anywhere closeto the district when the swarm finally managed to regroup. "Kevin, can we get out of here, please? I don't like this place…"

"He's right," a familiar voice spoke up. "We need to move before they pick up our trail."

Kevin's momentary joy at the capture of his first Pokémon turned to ash as soon as he realized who was addressing them. The memory of Zoey's last stand came rushing back like a tidal wave of sorrow, pain, and hatred, filling his heart with icy rage. Trembling with suppressed fury, he turned to see a weary and exhausted Ben slowly approaching from a small alleyway. The young mercenary was still clutching Nick's sniper rifle, but didn't seem like he was willing to use it anytime soon. And the Jerkop had no problem with that whatsoever.

"Patterson's gone," Ben continued, breathing heavily as drops of sweat ran down his smudged face. Slowing to a halt in front of Kevin, he glanced over his shoulder and nodded. "Took the Hummer and left. I clipped him, though. Odds are, we're not going to be seeing him for a-"

WHAM! Even if the soldier hadn't been suffering from fatigue and had still been at full strength, only the sharpest of reflexes would have saved him from the Jerkop's vicious punch. Ben hit the ground with a meaty thud, wheezing and clutching the side of his head where Kevin's fist had connected with his jaw. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth as he hurriedly struggled to regain his lost footing, but a heavy kick to his abdomen sent the mercenary sprawling flat again.

"You cocksucking little traitorous son of a bitch," snarled Kevin as he stepped forward, rubbing his aching fist while Ben spluttered and coughed at his feet. "You should've stopped after the first go, you fucking backstabber. What, did you think I'd forget?! Did you think I'm Chandler? I heard what those two chu-fucking friends of yours said. You sold us out, you slimy little piece of Sonee shit! YOU GOT OUR FUCKING SQUAD LEADER KILLED, YOU BASTARD!"

Before Ben could choke out a response, Kevin delivered another kick to his prone body, this time right to the small of the back. With a loud groan, the mercenary convulsed on the ground, rolling onto his back to grab the Jerkop's leg. Gritting his teeth, Kevin merely raised his other boot to step on Ben's windpipe, but before he could, the world tilted sideways. Moments later, the hard asphalt rushed up to meet him.

"I…didn't…do…it…" wheezed the soldier, crawling away from the furious Jerkop as Kevin leapt upright and stalked forward, gripping his scraped left elbow. "KEVIN! KEVIN, I DI-"

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Kevin roared, and slammed his fist into Ben's stomach. The world had turned from grey and brown to a frightening deep red haze, as if he was staring through a pair of blood-colored glasses. "You betrayed us. You got Zoey killed. Now…" He flipped the knife around in his hand and knelt down on Ben's chest, pinning him to the ground. Gripping the struggling mercenary by his shoulder, Kevin hauled him upright and seized him by the throat in a death grip. Any hesitation he might have felt had simply evaporated into pure rage the moment Zoey had fallen. "Now…you get to tell her…what she died for."

"NO! PLEASE! KEVIN, PLEASE!" shouted Ben as the steely fingers wrapped around his neck. "ARCEUS, I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW! I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE FOLLOWING-"

"You think she begged?" The Jerkop paused. "Zoey didn't die begging." He closed his hands tighter, slowly crushing Ben's windpipe and cutting off his frantic yells. "Goodbye, Ben."

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE

The piercing light blazed through Kevin's mind again, plunging him into a world of intense and absolute darkness. Orange energy swirled before his eyes, flaring and pulsing chaotically as if he were staring into a kaleidoscope of madness. Part of him was trying to convince himself that it was nothing, nothing more than the fatigue manifesting into a form of mental pain. The other part was currently straddling a fine line between confusion and brick-shitting insanity.

And from the darkness, an irritatingly nasal voice spoke.

"Legendary Crystals, hear my call, as a child of Electric Energy, of all those who were brainwashed by Slaweel and Graduon, release them free of their control forever, and let them live free to love and feel love again. CHAOTIC CONTROL!"

"KEVIN!"

WHUMP! Kevin crashed to the ground as Marty slammed into him from the side, knocking the Jerkop right off of Ben and forcing him to release his grip on the dying mercenary's throat. Dizzy from the shock of what he could only describe as a complete mental breakdown, Kevin flopped over onto his back, his chest rising and falling swiftly as he gasped for breath. Flaring pain pounded through his skull like a migraine headache, forcing him to squeeze his eyes shut until it subsided. There had been something else…a strange vision. An orange Sonichu stood atop the highest building in CWCville, surrounded by waves of rippling psychic energy…

It was hard for Kevin to pinpoint the exact time when he opened his eyes again, but when he did, the sun had already begun its descent into the western sky. Evening had come to the city, and judging by the chorus of jubilant "YAY!"s echoing through the deserted streets and alleys of the abandoned zone, the entire district was growing more and more dangerous by the minute.

"Arceus," he coughed, and rolled onto his side. "What…the hell…just…happened?"

"Grrowr!" Sugar darted up to him like a fuzzy black and white missile, nuzzling his face and hands and growling concernedly as the Jerkop dizzily pushed himself into a sitting position. Marty lay curled beside him, his mouth hanging open and his face resting in a puddle of drool, while Ben lay face down in the street a few feet away, bloodied and bruised. Further away, Nick was still barely breathing, though his air tank was almost certainly running low by now.

"Oh, fuck," gasped Ben as he rolled over onto his side. "Oh God, my fucking head…"

"You…too?" Kevin asked weakly. "What happened? Did you see a-"

"A Sonichu, yeah." Shivering, the mercenary sat up and looked around, just as confused as the Jerkop who had just tried to kill him. "I heard a voice…there was a voice right inside my head."

"I did too," replied Kevin. "All those who were brainwashed by Slaweel and Graduon, release them of their control forever…"

"Do you…" Ben started, his voice trembling with uncertainty. "How…how do you feel?"

Kevin gave his head a final shake and rose to his feet, swaying back and forth as his dizzy brain quickly recalibrated itself. "I'll live. If that was 'un-brainwashing', then it didn't fucking work."

"No one told me anything about that," mused Ben, and winced as the tendons in his lower back popped. "That…fucking…hurt."

"What do you mean, 'no one told you about that'?" Kevin growled, bristling up as memories of the vicious fight flooded back into his head. "You work for Chandler. How the hell do you not-"

"I worked for him, okay?!" shouted the mercenary, putting particular emphasis on the past-tense ending. His voice was nearly at the breaking point. "Did you see what happened at Tripod? He left them behind to die! HE LEFT US BEHIND!"

Kevin bit back his spiteful retort. "I…I know, Ben. I was there. I saw him abandon those men."

"Do you get it now, Kevin?" Every one of Ben's pained words dripped with guilt and shame. If he was faking it, the merc had to be the absolute greatest actor in history. "I can't go back to all that. I can't do it. Feeding Days, straight camps, all for what? For blood money? For hookers?" He paused, letting his inner pain spill forth like water from a burst dam as the Jerkop watched in shock. "Every day, I feel like I'm a traitor to my own fucking species!" He slumped forward, heaving with sobs. "You don't know what it's like. You…you've been the good guys all along!"

"I…Ben, I…" The words caught in Kevin's throat, and for a few seconds, he had no idea what to even say to the distraught soldier. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward and held out a hand. "I'm sorry, Ben. I'm sorry. Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm never gonna hurt you again."

Ben nodded, reached out, and grasped the Jerkop's offered hand. Silently, Kevin pulled his new ally to his feet and shook hands with him, fixing the former mercenary with a determined gaze. In that single moment, everything clicked together. Ben had had a chance to run, to leave the Jerkops and Marty behind to their fate. But he had returned to save them, not simply out of a need for vengeance against Patterson, but a desire to help end the bitter turmoil that CWCville had languished in for a decade. And where Kevin had been so quick to demonize Ben for letting his former squadmate murder Zoey, Marty had realized the truth, and attempted to stop him.

"Thank you," Ben coughed. "Kevin, I'm so sorry about Zoey. I…I couldn't stop Goody, and…"

"Don't apologize," replied Kevin, and held up a hand. "Listen. The PVCC won't let something like this go unanswered. We're going to strike back at Chandler, and when we do, you're going to get that chance you wanted. If you help us…if you come with us, I'll make sure that happens."

"I just realized something, you know?" Ben replied as he bent down and picked up the snoring Marty. "I always wanted to be somebody. Make a name for myself, protect the people. It's why I joined this so-called 'anti-terrorist group' in the first place." Carrying the little boy in his arms, he stepped over to where Kevin was lifting Nick off the ground for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last few hours. "And working for CWCville - no, working for Christian Chandler... I've just become another damn pawn. Just a nobody, carrying out the bloody errands of the big boss in his pet town, doing whatever he pleases."

"You're not the only one who thinks he's just another damn pawn," Kevin muttered under his breath as he gathered his dropped weapons together. The vision of the cave still burned in his memory, almost as brightly as the vision of the orange-furred psychic Sonichu. "Ben, did you ever wonder if this war's just a front…that there's something going on behind the curtains that we don't even know about?"

Ben paused. "Not…really. I mean, I know the city council's been doing stuff like that…Anna and Rocky mostly, but…are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a thought." Kevin set off at a fast walk as the former mercenary followed.

"Well, like I was saying," Ben continued hastily, "I felt like a nobody, but you... you guys are the ones putting your asses on the line so that the people of this city can live to be free and safe. It's you guys who aren't afraid…afraid like I was."

"You're wrong," replied Kevin, remembering the deep, chilling fear he'd felt back at the Feeding Day drop site, handcuffed and surrounded by ferals. "Everyone's afraid. Some people just learn to hide it better than the rest of us."

The pair continued on in silence, crossing block after block as they made their way across the darkening abandoned zone. Kevin's thoughts drifted from place to place, never able to focus on just one subject without returning to the events that had taken place just a few hours earlier. Zoey's death, he knew, would not go over well with any of the Honey Badgers, least of all Steve. After Amanda's death, Kevin was beginning to see his commander in a whole new light, and he wasn't exactly sure if it was a perspective he was comfortable with. There wasn't even a body to bury or cremate, and given the fact that Steve had nearly started a fight with Al himself, Kevin was silently dreading the Manajerk's reaction to hearing that his friend had been lost to mercs.

As for Marty, it was only a matter of returning the boy to Wilderness or wherever his mother had ended up after fleeing Menchi-Nasu. Kevin knew that she had stayed behind to face Chandler's ludicrously disproportionate vengeance, but judging by how easily Sonichu had defeated the PVCC commander in single combat, Mary Lee Walsh would end up retreating in the end.

But most importantly to the Jerkop, Benjamin Waters had become more than just a faceless servant of Chandler's tyranny, more than just another hired gun of the True Blue. The man had stared into the heart of darkness and pushed through to challenge the doctrine he'd sold himself into for so many years. Now that he had seen the terror he had helped to wreak upon the innocents of CWCville, he was ready to fight back, to redeem himself in the eyes of the city.

And Kevin was going to make sure he got the chance to do just that.

---

North CWCville, Northern district, Menchi-Nasu, administrator meeting room, 4:03 p.m.

"Evacuation alert, last stage," announced Menchi-Nasu's PA system as Mary Lee Walsh stood at the ready, coolly awaiting her fate at the hands of her former charge. "If any PVCC personnel remain inside, this is your final warning. Hostiles have breached the inner def-"

Vivian Gee's recorded voice died with a crackle of static. With the last of the S.A.V. units and automated turrets dealt with by Angelica Rosechu, the remaining EHPF troops were focusing on zapping every electronic device they could find in the empty PVCC base. Only Walsh remained behind, and since all of the Jerkop squads stationed at Menchi-Nasu had been successfully evacuated, she could very well have escaped at any time she wanted. But there was one last loose end she needed to tie up if the resistance was to survive.

Ominous footsteps sounded outside her door, and Mary Lee Walsh knew that her time had come at last. Drawing a deep breath to steady her nerves, she turned her back to the doorway, closed her eyes, and stared at the collection of objects arranged on the meeting room's conference table. Graduon's staff sat propped up by a steel stand, pulsing furiously as the ancient spirit silently roared curses into her mind to no avail. Beside them lay her horned battle helm, her trident, and her jetboard that Chandler had so naïvely confused for a broom. All was ready. All was arranged.

"Unlock inner defenses," she stated clearly. "Password…Marty."

With a loud hiss and a metallic clang, the blast panels slid open, exposing the normal doorway to the administrator meeting room. Walsh heard the handle turn and an annoyed sigh from the other side. Her final line of defense would keep Chandler out for at least another minute. It had been a rather easy measure to concoct – an outward-opening door labeled PUSH – but at least it would give her one last laugh if her final defeat was to come at the hands of the Mayor.

"Traitorous ingrate," hissed Graduon. "I gave you power, I gave you strength, I gave you your life back, and you turn against me! You will regret this, Slaweel! You will regret this!"

"The one thing I regret, Count," snarled Walsh, "is discovering that cave in the first place." She stared directly into the staff's orb and narrowed her scarlet eyes. "I haven't forgotten how you took me all those years ago. You thought I was your servant, that I would do anything to appease you. But not anymore, Graduon. Not anymore. And you will never, ever take Marty from me."

"And what will you do then, Slaweel?" scoffed the spirit. "You know you cannot destroy me. Our child will be my resurrection, one way or another. What are you but mere threats and lies?"

"I'm something that even you will never be, or understand, Count," murmured Mary Lee Walsh, and smiled as the door finally creaked open. She exhaled. "So, the time has finally come, yes? Our final confrontation?"

There was no answer – only labored breathing from the figure who stood in the doorway. The PVCC commander chuckled silently to herself. Christian had never been a very logical thinker.

"I am not surprised," she continued, playing up the fake "heartless witch" persona that her foe so dearly loved to delude himself into believing. "It only seems like it was yesterday when I was deemed a social outcast by the live, spoken words of a hundred men and women. Not one person would ever show me true love or devotion again…" She picked up her helm and fastened it onto her head. "Then I turned to witchcraft, so I could change all of their opinions of me…love potions, makeover spells, cheerleader sacrifices…none of them worked more than squat. Then I found the wand that contained Count Graduon."

"What is this nonsense?" the trapped spirit hissed, but Walsh ignored him.

"He promised to help me seek revenge on all who shared love…" she lied, trying her hardest to suppress the wave of pitying laughter that threatened to explode from her throat. Christian was buying every word she said. So pathetic. So…naïve. "If I couldn't be loved, no one would. So I built the fake college to bring in and brainwash foolish individuals to do my bidding. And now they are themselves again, out of my grasp, thanks to you and your Electric Hedgehog."

The commander nearly lost it then and there. Ultra Sonichu's "un-brainwashing" had worked about as well as expected – not at all. But as always, Chandler had managed to convince himself that his plan had been flawless, and that a few such acts would defeat the entire PVCC. And all the blame-shifting would mean nothing when stacked against the innocents who had died in 4-cent_garbage, or the deaths of Jason, Kathleen, Clyde, and Jack. An act of vengeance was already in the works, thanks to the Asperpedia team and Simonchu.

"Your stubborn, dumb Sweetheart Search irritated me among all others," growled Walsh, this time speaking the truth. How many innocent boyfriend-free girls had he approached without her knowledge, back in the days when PVCC had meant nothing more than the Piedmont Virginia Community College? How many of those girls had died on October 7, 2003? "You kept going with such a strong will and spirit. I had no such will or spirit. I also realized that there was still one man who goes unpunished of my hatred…the Count. I will fight you with my power alone."

"WHAT?" screamed Graduon as his voice pierced her mind. "SLAWEEL, WHAT ARE YOU S-"

"Please do your will and release the Count for me to punish another day," Walsh stated. "Do it, Christian Chandler." She turned and held out the staff, beholding her mortal enemy at long last.

The malformed creature that stood before her nearly took her breath away with its hideousness. What she assumed was supposed to be her foe's ultimate form was nothing more than a hybrid "chuman" - a disturbing synthesis of the athletic, speedy body of Chris-Chan Sonichu and the pudgy, flabby body that Chandler carried around in his human form. He wore only a pair of jeans that he had somehow failed to put on facing the right way, shoes, a belt, and an orange Sonichu medallion, while his upper body and head were covered in blue and brown fur and sharp quills. A Sonichu's tailbolt poked through the front of his pants (which actually faced the rear), and a red cheekspot stood out on either side of what looked like a patch of fuzzy, scraggly facial hair.

In short, Collosal Chris-Chan had not impressed Mary Lee Walsh in the slightest.

Without a word, Chandler reached out and grasped the staff, pulling it out of his former dean's hand to examine. Unable to channel his dark energy through his former ally, all Graduon could do was scream and curse and send out wild stabs of psychic power that Walsh simply shrugged off. The task was almost complete. If Chandler took the bait, her son would be safe at last…

Whirling the staff around in his hand, Colossal Chris-Chan drove the purple crystal straight into the floor of the administrator meeting room, silencing Graduon's final scream of rage and failure. The orb shattered instantly with a crack like thunder and released a cloud of violet smoke into the air, where it quickly dissipated into the air.

Walsh paid no attention to her hideous opponent as he delivered his pathetic rebuttal. Her task was complete, and soon, the final battle would begin. And then, at last, the Mayor would fall.

"…yet you will not be forgiven for your deeds, Slaweel Ryam!" ranted Chandler, his pudgy face screwed up in intense concentration as he conjured two replicas of the God of War Blades of Chaos out of pure energy and lunged forward to attack. "YOUR TERROR ENDS HERE!"

Be safe, Marty, Walsh thought as she raised her trident.

---

Southeast CWCville, abandoned zone, PVCC Library HQ, debriefing office, 4:21 p.m.

"You know how lucky you are?" a PVCC science officer asked the unconscious Marty as two emergency personnel wheeled Nick off into the hospital wing of the Library HQ for surgery and stabilization. "A kid his age alone in the abandoned zone – you'd better thank Arceus that you two found him." He patted the sleeping boy on his baseball cap, then looked at Kevin and Ben. "We'll take care of your squadmate, don't worry. Whoever treated his lung did one hell of a good job, but he's gonna need intensive care if he ever wants to breathe without tubes again."

"Thanks," mumbled Kevin as Ben gently placed Marty onto the room's padded examination table, making sure to adjust the CWCville Lancers cap to conceal his stubby horns. They'd found the ratty old thing on their way to the Library, and it was only a matter of sheer luck that the PVCC medics hadn't demanded to examine Marty. The child had been unconscious since the psychic announcement had been broadcast across the city, and the two men still weren't sure why his reaction had been so severe. Kevin just hoped that Marty hadn't slipped into a coma.

"Now, as for you two," the PVCC scientist continued, and picked up a clipboard and a pen. Kevin managed to steal a glimpse at his nametag as he turned - Dr. Bruce Johnson. "Let's take it from the top. We've got a lot to cover in terms of what went down today, but why don't you just tell me everything that happened to you after you were evacuated out of Menchi-Nasu."

Taking a deep breath, Kevin relayed the events of the past two hours, from the point where the Javelin had hit the Battle Bus, to the fight at the Feeding Day drop site, to Zoey's death, to the Arbok, Sonichu's psychic declaration of un-brainwashing, and their journey to the Library. He made sure to leave out any mention of Ben's allegiance with the loyalists, as well as their duel, and never described Marty as any more than "just some kid we found wandering out there."

"You two went through quite an experience out there," Johnson commented, visibly intrigued by Kevin's tale. "I'll see about arranging a transport to Slumberland for you and the boy. And what squad were you with?" He glanced at Ben curiously. "Hell, I don't think I even got your name."

"Benjamin Waters. I'm a Honey Badger, like him," replied the former mercenary, and nodded at Kevin as he recited the planned alibi they'd thought up. "They might not have me listed yet."

"Well, we'll have to see about fixing that," muttered Johnson. "Arceus, after today, we're gonna need all the new Jerkops we can get." He paged through his clipboard once again. "And your Manajerk would be…hold on, that can't be right. I just talked with him fifteen minutes ago…"

"It's all right, Bruce," a familiar voice cut in. "Go and check on Leary again. I'll handle this."

Johnson smiled and rose to greet the newcomer. "Speak of the devil. How's the lab, Ledger?"

"We're still isolating that little compound I told you about earlier," replied Albert Ledger as he stepped into the room and clapped Johnson on the shoulder. The former Manajerk was almost unrecognizable without his welder's mask, and the brown trench coat he adored so dearly had been replaced by a white lab coat. He looked healthier, fitter, and far more self-confident than he had been when he'd left the Honey Badgers. Furthermore, the smell of three kinds of alcohol no longer surrounded him. In short, it appeared that the Legend had pulled himself together at last.

"AL?" Kevin gasped, astounded by his old commander's sudden arrival. "What…"

"Nice to see you too, Kevin," replied Al, and strode forward to shake the Jerkop's hand. For a moment, the dark memories of Zoey's death and the Battle of Menchi-Nasu simply disappeared from Kevin's mind, washed away by waves of joy and relief. Against all odds, he had braved the horrors of the abandoned zone and emerged victorious, with a new comrade, his first Pokémon, and Mary Lee Walsh's son all alive and unharmed. And even though Nick Martinez would most likely never fight again, the wounded Jerkop was safe at last…safe and alive.

But like all moments of happiness, it eventually had to come to an end. The Legend's wide smile quickly faded as soon as the handshake ended, and was replaced by a look of bitter resentment. He gave a curt nod to Johnson, who obediently left the room to allow the Jerkops some privacy.

"I know you just stepped out of hell, Kevin," he began in a grave voice, "but you need to hear this. The attack on Tripod and the Battle of Menchi-Nasu were only the beginning."

Kevin felt the hairs prickle up on his arms at Al's words. "Wait. Al, wait a second."

The Legend paused. "Yes?"

"There…there's something I need to tell you first," Kevin fought back a sudden flood of tears as Ben and the former Manajerk looked on in silence. "Al…Zoey's dead."

Al closed his eyes and exhaled. The look on his face almost made the Jerkop want to vanish then and there, if only to escape from the Legend's twisted expression of deep, inescapable pain. And still he pressed on, repeating the same story that he had told to Johnson, but with the censored parts intact. Al didn't even look up when Kevin told him about Ben's true identity and the revelation about Marty. The reality of Zoey's death seemed to have paralyzed him.

When the story ended and the Legend finally opened his eyes, his new aura of wellness and vigor had almost entirely vanished. Guilt rushed through Kevin like a chilling wave. He immediately regretted ever telling Al about Zoey.

"Al, I…I didn't mean…" he began, but Al silenced him with a single glance.

"There's nothing any of us can do now, Kevin," the Legend murmured. "Zoey was a good friend, and a damn fine Jerkop. I know she's gone, but I wish…I could've been there to say goodbye."

For a long while, no one spoke. It was a rather low-key eulogy for their fallen comrade, but a fitting one nonetheless. Zoey had been one of Al's most loyal friends and squadmates back when he had still commanded the Honey Badgers, always supporting his orders with her solid senses of control and risk management. As Steve's best friend, she had always been there to keep him in line when his chaotic impulses took over, yet she had been more than willing to brave hell itself to get the Honey Badgers out alive. And in her final sacrificial act, she had willingly died to save her friends from the same fate as her, giving up her life to kill Goody and cripple the feral pack.

"I'm going to kill him," Ben spoke up softly after a silent minute had passed. "Patterson. He and Goody…they're the reason that Zoey's dead. And I'm going to make him pay for what he did."

"We're all going to make them pay," said Kevin. "For Zoey. For everyone."

Al wiped away an angry tear and looked up again. His jaw was set, and his eyes blazed with vengeful hatred. "Then listen up. You're going to want to hear what I have to tell you."

The two men looked on, listening in silence as Al began.

"After Chandler destroyed Tripod and ordered the siege of Menchi-Nasu," the Legend explained, "he went after 4-cent_garbage. Howell, Cash, and Thaddeus put the facility into a full lockdown and attempted to sabotage his medallion. I don't know what happened, but somehow he managed to take out Beel with a Hyper Beam and destroyed Reldnahc's medallion. He's back to being the old Naitsirhc again, but Chandler teleported him away…we don't know where."

Kevin felt nothing but indifference toward the young Team Rocket commander. He still hadn't forgiven Naitsirhc for trying to kill him back in Viridian Forest and the Shopping Center. If Team Rocket had never launched the attack on the bus, Kevin would have never ended up in CWCville. He didn't know too much about how Giovanni's son had been possessed by the daemon Reldnahc, and at the moment, Naitsirhc's well-being was the least of his worries.

"Next thing we know," continued Al, "Sonichu, Blake, Wild, Punchy, and SON-CHU appear in Tennessee and set up this concert stage. A fucking concert stage. We thought it was going to be some sort of passive-aggressive protest song or some shit like that, but we…we were wrong." He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth in anger. "We were so fucking wrong. When they started playing, the vibrations from SON-CHU's speakers undermined the 4-cent_garbage building."

"Oh, Arceus," breathed Ben. "How many people were in-"

"Fifteen hundred," snarled the Legend. "Fifteen hundred 4-cent personnel with husbands, wives, kids…lives. The entire building went down in a matter of seconds. Jason Kendrick Howell, Jack Thaddeus, Clyde Cash, and Kathleen were all inside when it collapsed. We're still getting reports from the Clarksville response teams – they're estimating that more than nine hundred personnel were killed. Of course, Chandler released some bullshit statistics sheet about an hour ago trying to justify his actions and blaming Howell for building his skyscraper over Forsent Landfill."

A sharp pain lanced through Kevin's hand. Looking down, he noticed a drop of blood forming at the tip of his middle finger where the nail had cut into his palm. He'd been clenching his fists so hard in his fit of silent rage that he'd actually managed to inadvertently cut himself.

"After that, the administration all but lost control." Al unconsciously grabbed at his waist, as if seeking a phantom bottle of alcohol. "Of course, Christian and the cocksucking Hedgehog Boys didn't stick around long after 4-cent_garbage fell. Didn't stop them from dashing in for a few 'hero' photos and getting in the way of the paramedics, though. If anything, they made it worse."

"Sons of bitches," Kevin spat as he taped a Band-Aid over his bloody hand. "Those bastards."

"The admins sent in Silvana to delay that fat fuck while we tried to regroup," the Legend explained. "I heard she posed as Meg Griffin – only Chandler would've accepted a disguise that obvious. I don't know much else, but next thing we know, Chandler and Sonichu gathered those Sonichu Ball Crystals together and turned into Hobochu and Mary Sue Sonichu… Or whatever the fuck those furfags call themselves. Vivian and the Asperpedia team figured it out as a sort of ultimate form for the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. More trouble for us, anyway."

Al glanced at a medical chart on the wall. "Then it all went to hell. Everything. Even more so than it was before. Chandler and Sonichu had an agenda, and they weren't going to let anything get in the way of eliminating whatever competition they thought they had. And that meant…"

"Project Asperchu…" Kevin breathed, his eyes wide with shock. "Oh my fucking Arceus…"

"Yep. That traitorous fuck Schwartz told the city council exactly where Leary was keeping the cloned chus in Minnesota, and they were more than happy to tell Chandler where to find them. Something happened there that wiped out the compound's database, but all they told us is that Leary and all of the Asperchus survived, but they had to pretend to go through this brainwashing process to convince Chandler and Sonichu that they'd been 'cured.' They're all safe. The only thing we lost was the Metal Asperchu combat drone, but that thing was a piece of shit anyway. That, and four basic Rosechus. No big loss – they weren't even fully converted yet."

"Why didn't they just kill Leary?" asked Kevin.

"Chandler wanted Leary to meet his end at the hands of his own creations." Al rolled his eyes. "What he didn't realize is that…the Asperchus love Alec. They look up to him as a father figure, and the last thing they would ever do would be to attack him or hurt him. All that they did to him was just run at him and tackle him in a group hug, while Chandler and Sonichu left."

"And that was it? They just left them there?"

"Yep." The Legend shook his head. "Lucky for us, Silvana's teleporting them all back here, as well as any survivors of 4-cent_garbage. We need to regroup and figure out what we're going to do. This was pretty much the biggest clusterfuck we've ever experienced."

"What we need to do is get back to Slumberland," stated Kevin, and rose to his feet. "If Steve and the rest survived, they're going to want to hear about…"

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"It seems," the silent voice snarled in his mind, "that there has been a change of plans, pawn."

"No…" gasped Kevin as a blazing light exploded through his head, burning angrily as it seared into his very consciousness and burst in a shower of kaleidoscopic violet hues. "Not…now…"

The floor rushed up to meet him, and in a flash, the pain was no more.

Darkness fell. But then a light…a searing and unnatural glow as industrial waste and sewage flowed freely across the once green expanse of the former United States. As Kevin watched, unable to move, CWCville gave way to CWCland, and eventually, to CWCworld. The entire planet, from all major land formations and islands were now occupied by the enemy…the chus.

Sonichus. Rosechus. Sonees and Roseys. Marching together in vast hordes the size of entire countries, they had spread across the earth, replicating to the point where almost all space had been claimed by them. The very landscape was now a writhing carpet of rainbow colored chu larvae, burrowing deep into the heart of the planet, sucking the very life force out of the earth, giggling and cuddling and cheering as they dug deeper and deeper, past thousands of skeletal remains which they happily sucked on in their immense, insatiable greed and hunger for more.

But as hideous a vision as it was, all of that paled in comparison to the eye of the storm.

CWCville. Now an even more hellish dystopia than it had once been. The city's infrastructure now loomed larger than ever, dominating the earth, expanded by scrap metal and even the flesh of countless humans who had perished in its creation. A wicked and vile place, its very streets seethed with propaganda and hatred. The words NO HOMOS had been sprayed over every wall, on every street and sign and poster and billboard. Sonichus and Rosechus propagated themselves in the street, every corner an orgy of unspeakable depravity and Bacchanalian lust. Roseys rained down from the stratosphere, their skirtachutes open, devouring entire flocks of birds in midflight while blood rained from their jagged maws onto the streets below. Hordes of Sonees and Roseys waddled to and fro, assaulting and biting and shocking the few emaciated, subjugated humans as the wretched slaves were pummeled by Sonichus and Rosechus into doing chores like mowing their lawns, carrying them across the city streets, and caring for their spoiled homebred children.

In the citadel at the center of CWCville, the Shopping Center and the Mayor's office, lay the heart of darkness, the source of all evil and pain. The office was exactly the same as it had once been, littered with junk food, toys, video games, and TVs. Many TVs…all of which displayed scenes of murder and debasement of dozens of humans as mocking laughter echoed through the room. Dead bodies of all shapes and sizes had been nailed to the ceiling and walls. Jerkops. Rebels. PVCC. A stuffed trophy of Mary Lee Walsh stood against a wall; her face twisted and locked in an eternal wail of agony while the mounted heads of the Miscreants lined the walls.

And on a throne of Lego bricks, human bones, and flayed skin sat the architect whose vile imagination had given rise to this hell. Mayor Christian Weston Chandler. He looked as if he had been dead for many, many years, yet his skin still wriggled with seeming life.

One by one, the true masters of CWCville emerged, bursting forth from their creator's mouth and skin like the hideous maggots they were. Cera Rosey, Christine Rosey, and Robbie Sonee, all covered in blood and filth from ears to stumpfeet, eternally young, eternally greedy, eternally hungry, simultaneously cheering in their wicked joy at the indescribable suffering of so many innocent men, women, children, and Pokémon to feed their selfish desires. They waddled about in their realm of dead skin and fatty tissue as a viscous torrent of blood and flesh flowed into the room through pipes, filling the empty shell of Chandler with a disgusting red and pink sludge. The babies frolicked and laughed in their gory playland, rolling in blood, waddling in circles, hugging and kissing each other, laughing in their piercing twee voices as they watched their chu kin eviscerating humans for their own amusement and heaping praises upon the larval overlords.

"Death ta awl wife!" the demons screeched in unison. "We awe da destwucshun of awl wiving tings! Existence itsewf wiwl be devowerd, fow we awe da Awlphachu an Omwegachu! YAY!"

And from the remains of the Earth itself - a hollowed brown and grey sphere laid to waste by the chus and hordes of their ravenous larvae - the shrieking mass of fur exploded off the once fertile planet in unison, eager to begin the consumption and destruction of all life in the galaxy and beyond. In the end, all would kneel before the chaos known as the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

And in that moment, as reality itself folded and collapsed in on itself in a squirming, squealing storm of garish fur, Kevin realized the sickening truth about the chus. They were far more than just the insipid, parasitic vermin that had brought so much hatred and devastation to the people of CWCville, far more than an infestation, a living plague, or a seething, fuzzy, devouring horde. If left unchecked, if allowed to spread beyond the walls of their city, the chus would annihilate everything that was not them… simply because it was their nature to destroy, to devour, to kill.

The Electric Hedgehog Pokémon…were nothing less than death incarnate.

"Now do you see, pawn?" the voice spoke again, its tone one of fury. "This is what comes next. And only at the site of your allies' greatest defeat will the cogs of time turn present to future."

Kevin awoke in a hospital cot drenched in sweat, panting and gasping for air as he thrashed and screamed and clawed at the sheets in absolute terror from the nightmare he had just witnessed. As a trio of startled medics dashed across the room toward him, the petrified Jerkop could only lie there, blinking furiously as the hellish apocalyptic world of chus faded away into the dark corners of his fevered mind. The voice was still in there, though, echoing around incessantly.

"He's back!" shouted Dr. Johnson, grabbing Kevin's arm and pressing a finger to his wrist. "Fucking hell, thank Arceus! Get Ledger! Someone get Ledger in here!"

"Way ahead of you, Bruce." Al appeared over the Jerkop, his face familiarly concealed behind a surgical mask. Raising a hand, he snapped his fingers. "Kevin? Kevin, you there? You with us?"

"Oh God…Al…" Kevin sat up slowly, shaking with fright. "Al, how long was I out?"

"Just over ten minutes," Johnson replied before the Legend could answer. "You went into severe convulsions at first, then a total shutdown of all motor functions. We tested your brain patterns while you were out…good God, I've never even seen such a high level of neural chaos before."

"Basically, you suffered what we think was a psychic attack - an intense psychic attack," Al continued, and handed Kevin something that resembled an earthquake detection graph. "Except for the fact that it doesn't add up. At least, not after this." He pointed to a section of the chart that had been circled in red permanent marker. "You went from the normal brain patterns of a psychic attack victim to…I don't even know what this is. How are you feeling now?"

"I…" Kevin didn't even get a chance to finish before an immense wave of nausea set in. Without warning, he leapt up, pushed Al aside, and vomited, emptying his stomach into the nearest trash can. When he was finished, Johnson offered him a few paper towels, which he gladly accepted.

"Don't worry, that's normal," the doctor reassured him kindly. "Now Kevin…Kevin, listen to me. Ledger and I are going to ask you a few questions. Just take a deep breath and relax."

Kevin obeyed, using the few seconds of freedom he had to observe the room he was currently in. It was not a particularly large place, but held about five rows of cots, as well as tables full of surgical equipment and various monitors. Several of the cots held injured and sleeping Jerkops who were being attended by the medical staff. And resting in the cot directly beside him was…

"Marty!" he gasped, hurrying to the little boy's side concernedly. Marty's baseball cap had been removed, and his stubby red horns now jutted through his silky blond hair for all to see. Hurriedly, he looked back to Johnson, then Al. "Al, does anyone know about-"

"Nee!"

"THE FUCK?" Kevin yelled as a chubby Sonee covered in a sickly coat of patchy grey-green fur appeared from beneath the sheets of Marty's cot and wriggled its way up the boy's back, paying no attention to the astounded Jerkop staring at it in disbelief. Once it had finally reached Marty's shoulders, it promptly sat down and turned its malformed body to face Kevin, revealing a rather disturbing patchwork of sewn-together body parts and bionic machinery. Two large metal screws had been inserted at the base of both of the Sonee's long ears, and one of its reptilian eyes had been removed and replaced with a button, the same kind as the ones on Al's old trench coat.

"Nee!" it squeaked again, and raised an armstub to wave at Kevin, prompting a tiny spark from both of its earscrews. Upon further inspection, the Jerkop noticed several sharp claws protruding from the formerly useless and still rather pathetically-shaped limbs.

"What in the holy mother of fucking hell is that thing?" Kevin asked, turning to Al.

The Legend shrugged. "Just a side project of mine. I call him Franken-Sonee. Part of a LIESA endoskeleton, surrounded by partially-reanimated Sonee and Rosey body tissue. He mostly just waddles around and hisses at whatever he doesn't try to eat. Seems to have taken a shine to little Marty, though. Which reminds me, Bruce, what was your diagnosis for the…protrusions?"

"Simple benign growths," stated the doctor, sharing a knowing glance with the former Manajerk until the assistant medics had moved out of earshot to tend to another patient. "Don't be alarmed. Nothing's going to happen to him. We moved him here after he lost consciousness…just a few seconds after you did, as a matter of fact. You don't need to worry about the boy's identity." He sighed. "Not every PVCC scientist is a traitor, you know."

"He'll pay," Al growled. "Schwartz is gonna burn with the rest of 'em on Judgment Day."

"Please," Kevin begged hoarsely, startling the two men. "Al…what the hell happened to me?"

The Legend glanced at a nearby monitor. "All right, no more bullshit. You weren't out for ten minutes, Kevin. You were in that state of paralysis for a full three hours. Bruce, tell him what you…"

"You started…talking," Johnson explained, his voice trembling. "But this wasn't just a nightmare or some kind of hallucination. You ever see The Exorcist, those scenes where the demon talks to the priests by using the little girl's voice?"

A chilling void emerged in the pit of Kevin's stomach, as if a miniature black hole had decided to manifest itself inside of his body. For a moment, he thought he was going to pass out again, but somehow, he managed to subdue it long enough to press the doctor for more answers.

"What…did I say?" he asked cautiously, bracing himself for the answer.

"I think you'd better hear it yourself," Al replied, and slowly withdrew a small digital recorder from the pocket of his lab coat. Turning up the volume, he set it on the cot and pressed PLAY.

"All…final tests of the vaccine…were of…full success as well…" Kevin's voice, little more than a strangled whisper, hissed from the device's speakers. "After having returned the crates of the vaccine to our own…time, I requested aid of the water…treatment and…medical facilities. The one thousand crates…were transported in fifty…Mack trucks…the vaccine would later be tested over the next six months, then dispensed into the world's drinking waters. And so…on February 24, 2009…every last person…will be cured and protected of...the oritentation…of hell, and that day will be declared…"

"What the fuck…" breathed the Jerkop, unable to believe the words that had seemingly flowed from his own mouth during his fever dream of a world dominated by chus. "What…"

"And, spoiler alert," growled the voice from the recorder in a far more unsettling tone. "After the death of Graduon's scepter, Silvana Rosechu will become all woman; she and I will become a True Love Couple as well."

The recording hissed with static and ended, leaving the three men in a state of utter shock.

"Oh…my…God," Kevin spoke at last, burying his head in his hands.

"Magi-Chan Sonichu," answered Johnson with a grim frown. "What you just heard was the start of what we call a psychic echo – or, in this case, I call it the Psych ex Machina. Sorry for such an uninspired title, but as you know, the Chaotic Combo seems to thrive on the appearance of deus ex machina to solve their problems, and it seems that their strength has finally turned against them to expose a weakness."

"What are you talking about?" asked Kevin confusedly. "What weakness?"

"The final event in the Mayor's return to CWCville," the doctor stated. "You heard what you said, Kevin. Somehow, acting on Chandler's orders, Magi-Chan Sonichu was able to travel beyond the Time Void and into what I'm going to assume was an alternate future. I'm gonna be honest, Kevin, I'm just throwing science at the wall here to see what'll stick."

"No, it's all right, Bruce," Al muttered. "We're not exactly strangers to time travel."

"But in any case," continued Johnson, "the fact of the matter is that Magi-Chan brought some sort of vaccine back…a chemical compound that can apparently suppress certain brain patterns that trigger in the presence of…homosexual thoughts. We know that Chandler engineered a similar compound back in 2006, and injected it into his chus. It causes severe allergic reactions to the very idea of same-sex contact or any form of homosexual activity, even unintentional actions. But here's the thing…Leary's team tested a sample of this compound on Simonchu and the Asperchus, then had them all observe video clips of straight, gay, and lesbian porn, watch two bi male and two bi female volunteers alternately kissing each other, and had them handle male and female sex toys to measure their reactions. All the tests came up negative."

The PVCC scientist paused, letting the horrible truth sink in. "Do you see what we're trying to say, Kevin? Chandler didn't turn the chus into violent crusaders against homosexuality. That compound only works on the chus who share a level of complete and utter insecurity with that of their creator. They wanted to be just like their Father. They wanted total mental convergence."

"And…he found a way to make this for PEOPLE?" Kevin nearly screamed, his eyes bulging in terror at the consequences of such a vaccine being released upon the earth.

Al nodded. "A global purge of any form of sexuality that isn't exclusively male-female. If what you said is true, we could very well be looking at a cataclysm unlike anything CWCville…or the entire civilized world, for that matter…has ever experienced. Bruce and I stumbled onto this lead by accident, believe it or not. We were trying to isolate an unknown substance from the chemical makeup of CWC Orange Soda, of all things."

Kevin shuddered violently, recalling his rather embarrassing encounter with a Chandler's Third Date. If he ever ran into that mustached Sea Lion operative again, there would be hell to pay.

"It wasn't anything too nasty," continued the Legend. "Just another compound to boost the…uh, the arousal levels of Sonichus and Rosechus. We cross-checked it with some DNA from the Asperchus, and found a few similarities to the 2006 chu-only homophobia vaccine. And until tonight, we didn't have any clue of what Chandler was doing…until Silvana Rosechu showed up with a hypodermic needle full of his blood. Say what you will about the bitch, but her plan worked. Without that sample, we would never have found…"

"…the link to the human vaccine…" Kevin finished, horrified by the nauseating revelation. "Chandler engineered it from his own blood."

"Not exactly." Al blinked. "Not in this CWCville, anyway. It's complicated."

"I'll buy it," groaned the Jerkop, and clutched his aching head. "How are they going to-"

"We're still pulling ourselves together after Menchi-Nasu and 4-cent_garbage went down," said Johnson. "Unless we were somehow able to find out where the vaccine was being manufactured, there's not much the PVCC can do. Thank Arceus we didn't lose more operatives in the siege."

"Fuck!" Kevin whirled toward Al. "What happened to the rest of the squad?"

"They're all right," replied the Legend hastily. "All alive. We'll get you back there soon enough, trust me. But for now…Kevin…" Placing a hand on the young operative's shoulder, he fixed Kevin with a piercing, powerful stare, as if trying to probe the Jerkop's mind itself. "I need you to tell me if you saw anything else. Anything that we might be able to use. We need to know."

"I had…a dream." Kevin chewed his lip fretfully. "A world where chus ruled over humans."

"Good, good," Al coaxed, releasing the iron grip on his shoulder. "Keep going. Keep going."

"Everything was gone," continued the Jerkop. "They destroyed and ate everything. We were all slaves…they made us work for them while they kept eating and fucking and breeding and…God, it was insane." He swallowed. "And Chandler was dead, but the Sonichu brats…they took over his body. I don't remember much else, just that they're gonna keep spreading."

Al and Johnson exhaled simultaneously, their faces twisted with disappointment.

"Thanks, Kevin," the Legend sighed. "It just sounds like you had a worst-case scenario nightmare. But don't worry, it can't happen." He glanced at Johnson. "It can't, right?"

"According to Dunn's Theory of Navitaricius Reproduction," commented the doctor, "the possibility of the species reaching a great enough population to cause a global catastrophe is rather unlikely…" He paused and turned back to Kevin. "But I tell you, it could happen. It could happen. Well, that's all the interrogation we need to do for now, Kevin. Whatever that psychic announcement from Ultra Sonichu did to you, it must have opened up certain receptors that let you receive the echo. Funny thing is, no one else besides Commander Iseli reported an experience like what you just described. But it doesn't matter now. I suggest you get some-"

"WAIT!" shouted Kevin. "WAIT! It wasn't the announcement! There was another one!"

Johnson drew back in surprise, as did Al. "Another? What do you mean, another one?"

"You mean, no one else heard a voice talking about pawns and a change of plans?" asked Kevin, panting as his heart thundered with excitement. "No one else heard that?"

"What in Arceus's name are you talking about?" asked the PVCC scientist, dumbfounded.

"Someone said something to me at the end of the dream…and that same voice spoke to me back in the abandoned zone. It was just like the un-brainwashing announcement…but it only affected me for some reason. And you said…" He glanced at Marty. "You said we just passed out at the same time, three hours ago?"

Al nodded. "That's right."

Gritting his teeth in anger, Kevin stared straight into Al's eyes. "Al…where the fuck is Walsh?"

Johnson handed over his clipboard, the foremost page of which consisted of a crude transcript of what had to be a citywide announcement by Chandler himself, timestamped from 5:15 p.m.

As of One Hour ago on August 9, 2008, in my city of CWCville, Virginia, Slaweel the Witch has at last been Honestly defeated by myself, Christian Weston Chandler, the Mayor of CWCville, and has been given a Fair-Judged Sentence of no less than Ten Years in CWCville Penitentiary, or 10000 hours of Community Service for the Hateful and Heart-Shattering Crimes she and her Troll Jerkops have committed against me. Furthermost, the fiendish Count Graduon has also been defeated once and for all after I courageously shattered his Crystal Staff Orb dead. Unlike the wicked and hateful Slaweel, though, I showed her mercy in her Defeating Hour, and now she must do HARD WORK in service of the City of CWCville, Virginia, to build up the shattered Heart Levels of all the Love-Starved CWCitizens who have now been released of the brainwashing that "Vigrinia is for Virgins"! Peace. -CWC.

Kevin stared at the sheet of paper in silence, quaking with fury as he scanned the hateful words again and again in search of some flaw, something to expose the announcement as a lie. If Walsh had indeed been captured and Howell, Clyde Cash, and Jack Thaddeus had died in the collapse of 4-cent_garbage, then the PVCC had just been stripped of its two most prominent leaders and two of the most respected commanders in the entire resistance. The role of supreme commander would have passed to Vivian Gee, but Kevin knew that she would never be able to garner the level of adoration and support that Walsh had built up over the course of her decade-long rebellion. Without Walsh, the Miscreants would be lucky to even keep their own administration from tearing itself apart in the power struggle that was certain to result from such a catastrophe.

"We've got to get her back," he murmured, clenching his fingers around the paper and crumpling it into a ball. "Al, we need to put something together…a strike team or more Devil Trolls. We all got out of CWCville Penn – we can get back inside and set her free!"

"We're looking at a total collapse of our command infrastructure," retorted Al in frustration. "It'll be a miracle if Leary even manages to pull off his little operation." He slammed his fist into a cart full of medical supplies, immediately startling Franken-Sonee and causing the fuzzy little abomination to tumble off of Marty with a surprised hiss. "Kevin, we're out of time! Those trucks are on their way out of the city now, but we don't know where from! They're not leaving from the Shopping Center – BILLY MAYS just confirmed it a few minutes ago."

"Can't the Miscreants track them with the UAV?"

"We lost control of that thing when Menchi-Nasu went dark!" Al raised his hand and pressed a finger against the Jerkop's forehead. "There's got to be something else that Magi-Chan told you! We've got everything but the location! If it's not the Shopping Center, then where the fuck is it?"

"How should I know?" yelled Kevin. "What about Iseli? You said he had similar symptoms! What happened to him? Didn't he hear anything?"

"All they told us was that Iseli suffered a heavy migraine and erratic brain patterns around the same time that you passed out," said Johnson. "No nightmares or psychic echoes. We're still not sure what exactly happened to him, but it might have had something to do with a past exposure to intense psychic energy. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is what's on your mind."

"Then what the fuck do you need me to do?" shouted the Jerkop in frustration.

"We need to know where the vaccine's being stored," the Legend answered, his voice trembling with intense concentration. "Right now, nothing else matters. If they get those trucks out of the city, we lose this whole fucking war here and now. Think, Kevin! What else did he say to you?"

Kevin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, allowing himself to drift back into the memory of his nightmare's epilogue. The silent words pulsed through his head, filling the Jerkop with their ominous message once more. Somehow, he knew they had come from another source, a different source. Someone or something else had been psychically contacting him in the abandoned zone.

"It wasn't Magi-Chan," he spoke at last. "He's smarter than the rest…he wouldn't give away his own plan. Whoever contacted me…they were speaking directly to me. Just before the nightmare ended…" He paused, focusing on piecing the message back together. "Only at the site of your allies' greatest defeat will the…the cogs of time…turn present to future."

"Thank you." Al let out a sigh of relief and embraced the startled Jerkop. "Thank you, Kevin."

"Remnant Five, Remnant Five, come back," Johnson spoke quickly into a portable radio, wiping beads of sweat from his brow. "Come back, Remnant Five. We found it! It's Hogwash! Repeat, the target is Hogwash! Over!"

"This is Remnant Five!" Bryan Bash replied excitedly through the receiver. "Solid copy on Hogwash, Johnson! Everyone, stand by! Vivian! VIVIAN, IT'S HOGWASH!"

"Wait, what?" Kevin leapt to his feet as the doctor turned and dashed for the exit, leaving Al alone with the Jerkop, Marty, and Franken-Sonee. "Al, what the fuck's going on? How do they know that Hogwash was the place?"

"We narrowed it down from a few possibilities," replied the Legend. "CWCville Penn, Boleyn Plaza, the ruins of Piedmont College…but Hogwash…" He clenched his fist triumphantly. "It has to be the place. If the administrators are going to go all in on this little hunch, we should be hearing the alarms going off in just a few-"

Al's hurried explanation was quickly cut off as the menacing howl of an air-raid siren blasted through the Library's PA system. The sound could only mean one thing: a full-scale emergency alert for all major PVCC bases and outposts located throughout CWCville. Without warning, Vivian Gee's voice issued forth from the intercom speakers, conveyed across the linked citywide address system as Al, Kevin, and the rest of the medical staff in the room listened intently.

"To any and all PVCC personnel in range of this broadcast," the administrator began, speaking with what sounded like a fresh burst of resolve after hours upon hours of desperation. "This is Vivian Gee, acting supreme commander of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens resistance initiative. As of exactly five minutes ago, we have entered emergency status level Five, I repeat, emergency status level Five. If you have been cleared for combat operations, report immediately to your squad commanders for instructions. Non-combat personnel, report to your supervisors and prepare to enter White Alert. This is a full mobilization, I repeat, a full mobilization."

"Holy…fuck," whispered Kevin. Al nodded and reached for what looked like a large black briefcase resting against the side of Marty's cot as the announcement continued on above them.

"This message…was given to me by my predecessor, Commander Mary Lee Walsh, so that I might share it with you in the event of her death or capture," snarled Gee, her soft voice shaking with suppressed fury. "My associates. My comrades. My Jerkops. My friends. I won't hold back the truth of what happened today. We lost 4-cent_garbage, and with it, Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde Cash, Jack Thaddeus, Kathleen, and over nine hundred innocents to an unspeakable act of terror the likes of which we have never encountered before. Menchi-Nasu has been overrun by the EHPF, and Commander Walsh is now a prisoner of the enemy. We've been demoralized. We've been crippled. We've been shattered and swayed and bent and broken."

"But we're STILL HERE!" the Miscreant shouted without warning, startling Kevin. "We're still here, and we're still alive! And as we march forth to end this marathon of destruction and turn the tide against our foes, we fight for the dead of Clarksville! For the courageous operatives who fell in defense of Menchi-Nasu! For all who have given their lives in the war to free this forsaken city, and for those who have been crushed in defiance of their soulless rulers! For them, and for yourselves, defenders of CWCville, stand with me, and we will WIPE OUT THIS PLAGUE!"

There came a few moments of silence, followed by a repeated broadcast of the first part of Gee's announcement – the alert. Beyond the door of the hospital wing, hundreds of footsteps echoed through the halls of the Library HQ as nearly a dozen Jerkop squads rushed to gather weapons and equipment together. Announcements began crackling back and forth over the intercom, alerts for Library personnel and administrators. The base was on full alert, and Kevin knew that across CWCville, the Jerkops of Wilderness, ChinaTown, and Slumberland were preparing for battle as well. The PVCC's all-or-nothing gambit was a risky one, no doubt, but if it meant saving the unsuspecting world from Chandler's malevolent vaccine, it was a risk worth taking.

"Looks like we're gonna have to save all the teary-eyed reunion stuff for later," growled Al as he opened the briefcase. Shrugging off the lab coat, he unfolded a large bundle of brown clothing and smiled nostalgically. "I would call this a comeback, but then again, I never actually retired."

"Well, that's perfect," a familiar voice chuckled from behind the Legend as a small group of footsteps approached rapidly. "Glad to have you on board, you magnificent bastard."

Al and Kevin turned around simultaneously, grinning with relief and sheer joy as Steve Morrison and Kuri Tatsuno – both armed to the teeth and looking as if they had walked through the fires of hell itself – approached from the open doorway, trailed by Nate, Allie, Serge, Matt, and Jexis. The Honey Badgers, at long last, had reassembled.

"How you been, Steve?" Al laughed as he and the blond Jerkop embraced. "Good God, you look like shit. What the hell have you been putting my baby through?"

"She's…uh…kind of banged up in the back end," the Manajerk replied sheepishly. "Nothing you won't be able to fix, though, right?"

"You'd better hope so," growled the Legend, and pulled on his trench coat. Reaching into the briefcase, he withdrew his old welder's mask and pulled it on. "Fucking hell, it's been too long."

"Damn right, Al." Steve shouldered his XM8 and turned to Kevin. "We'll debrief once this all blows over. Nick and Zo should be fine here while we're out in Hogwash." He smiled. "I'm just glad to see you alive, Kevin. You had us all worried for a bit. Some…more than others."

"Arceus! Get over here!" the Jerkop chuckled as Allie pushed through Matt and Jexis and flung her arms around him. Paying no regard to the reactions of his squadmates, Kevin drew her in for a long kiss, and the moment their lips touched burned away every last shred of doubt and fear in his heart, along with the surge of worry he'd felt at hearing Zoey's name mentioned so casually by Steve. There was nothing that needed to be said by either of them. The reunion itself, and the reassurance that his missing squadmates had all escaped with their lives, were more than enough.

"Everyone, listen!" snapped Steve as he and Al turned to face the rest of the Honey Badgers. "We got our assignment from Joe just two minutes ago - we'll be operating with the Red Devils for a direct assault through Filter Station Six. Breach and clear, in before they know what's going on, then kill, destroy, or confiscate every loyalist thing we find." His smile faded, and for a moment, Kevin wondered if the Manajerk could sense the bitter truth about his dead lieutenant. "This is nothing short of bloody, bloody vengeance. Vengeance for all they took from us today. So let's go show them what happens when you go all in against the Honey Badgers."

And vengeance for Zoey, Kevin thought silently, smiling bitterly as he reached for the AK-47 propped up against his cot. What lay in store for the squad at the ruins of Hogwash was unknown to any of them, but as long as mercenaries and chus still infested the old PVCC base, that vengeance would most assuredly be made manifest with fire, steel, bullets, and blood.

He could not have wished for a more perfect opportunity.

---

East CWCville, Lower East district, Wilderness, administrator meeting room, 7:25 p.m.

"Kacey, Liquid, Robert, Bryan…and me," Vivian Gee commented to Bryan Bash, Ivo Robotnik, Max Milvana, and Jimmy Hill as she massaged her temples and sank into the administrator's chair that had once been reserved for Mary Lee Walsh herself. "Two field commanders, an agent, the head of communications, and one newspaper editor turned glorified hacker. The Remnant Five of Menchi-Nasu." She let out a nervous chuckle filled with little more than pure self-pity. "Arceus help me. I had no idea. I mean, I never thought it would end up this way."

"It's not over yet, my dear girl," Hill reminded the new PVCC commander. "And furthermore, Miss Gee, your efforts thus far have been most admirable. Bloody brilliant, if you ask me."

"Save the compliments for when we don't have a global sexuality crisis on our hands, Jimmy," Gee said. She paused for a moment. "Oh God, I actually said 'global sexuality crisis', didn't I?"

"I still don't know why we're bothering with all the 'oh my God, we're all gonna turn straight' bullshit," complained Max, spinning himself around in his chair out of boredom. "Eggman, come on, you're the science guy. This whole 'gay vaccine' thing…it's not real, right? Right?"

"Of course not! And don't call me by that imbecilic nickname, you little brrrrrrrrrat!" thundered Robotnik, and pointed at Max. "Get a load of this! I may have dedicated my immense genius to the art of rrrrrrrrobotic technologies rather than some useless medical pursuit, but even I could tell you that any vaccine must be derrrrrrrived from the blood of an individual with the condition! That bigoted rrrrrretard and his worthless 'cure' are no more a danger to the human rrrrrrace than that meddling hedgehog is to my latest and most diabolical invention! I call it the-"

"Yes, yes, Ivo, can we please stop talking about how you're gonna destroy Sonic next?" Vivian sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes. "We need to focus on Hogwash. Chandler's starting his speech in just a few minutes, and Alec's operation should keep the Combo distracted long enough for our ground teams to do some serious damage. Any word on where Giovanni is?"

"Slumberland's been mobilized, but nothing from Giovanni yet," reported Bash, and reluctantly turned to Max. "Look…Julie…I don't like having to call you out like this, but if there's anything you can tell us about what happened to Reldnahc, now's the time to speak your piece."

The little boy's body stiffened, and his eyes quickly flashed from brown to a blazing indigo blue. His lips curled into a menacing smile, and when he spoke, it was not his own voice, but a high, cold, unquestionably inhuman tone that sent a deep chill through the surrounding Miscreants.

"The fool is no more," Max spoke, guided by the Warp entity that had assumed the place of his dead sister in his mind back in 1999, on the same day that the legendary three-year time freeze had begun in CWCville. "Trapped in a feeble medallion of earth and blood – a pathetic choice. It is only fitting that the fat one's blood be his doom. Perhaps we shall meet again one day, when I leave this wretched world and return to my place of honor at Lord Tzeentch's side."

"Sure." Vivian drummed her fingers on the tabletop. "Anyway, can you track down Naitsirhc?"

"A simple matter in my realm," replied the daemon, "but an impossible task here. There is little Warp presence to trace…and with that pathetic Bloodletter and Reldnahc dead, even less now."

"Okay. Give us Max back, unless there's anything else."

With another shudder, Max's eyes turned brown again, and the stiffness faded from his body. Looking around, he rubbed his forehead and grimaced. "Fuck, that hurt. What'd she say?"

"Nothing worth our time, my lad," Jimmy Hill replied disinterestedly, and turned back to Gee. "I suppose we'll have to cross that sodding bridge when we come to it. As of now, though, we have several key operations to manage, and time is short." He pointed to the doorway that led to the command and control center of Wilderness. "They need you, Vivian. Now more than ever."

The commander nodded and rose from her chair. "Right. We've got a lot to do and not much time left to do it, so I want everyone constantly connected by radio in case anything else hap-"

Without warning, the door to the meeting room swung open, startling the gathered Miscreants. Two Jerkops and a female Manajerk with long brown hair and a Robotnik Technologies artificial eye set into the right side of her face dutifully stepped inside, escorting a man who looked to be in his early to mid-50s. The civilian's clothes had been torn and several patches of his grey hair were freshly singed, as if he had just escaped from a burning building. His eyes, however, held a grim determination that seemed to emanate from his entire person, like an invisible aura.

"Commander Gee!" the Manajerk reported smartly, and saluted. "I apologize for the interruption, ma'am, but this man just arrived at the side entrance with two other civvies…knew the password and everything, too. He says he just survived an assassination attempt…by Chandler himself."

"Very good, Thodt," Vivian replied, and strode toward the newcomer, shaking her head in pity. "Inevitable. We knew it was only a matter of time before the Mayor would try and remove you. The question is, why risk it for so long? Why jeopardize your own family? Why, Snyder?"

"Leverage," growled Michael Snyder, and wiped a smear of blood from his lower lip. "Leverage and history. The Lumberjacks take care of their own. But what happened today was nothing short of an act of war." He nodded gratefully as Bryan Bash pushed a chair over to him, then collapsed into it. "After he captured Walsh, he went for the GAMe PLACe. Probably knew that his Collosal state couldn't last much longer, so he wanted to straighten out one final loose end."

"Arceus," breathed the commander. "What happened? How did you escape?"

Snyder blinked. "Wait. I thought your agents arranged the power outage. There's no other way-"

"Power outage?" Gee stared blankly at the former GAMe PLACe owner. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that all the lights shut down across the Shopping Center," explained Snyder. "It couldn't have been a coincidence. Someone knew that I was under attack. Whatever the case, I got out of there alive - with just a few scrapes and my family - before Chandler realized I wasn't there anymore. Next thing I know, I've got friends calling me, asking if I'm all right and letting me know that the fucking Mayor of fucking CWCville just blew up my entire fucking store."

"We didn't have anything to do with any power outages in the Shopping Center," Bryan Bash replied confusedly. "Vivian, did Mary ever say anything to you about a sabotage operation?"

"No…" Gee hurriedly pulled out her laptop and scrolled through a few monitoring programs she had set up to gather information from various loyalist facilities and outposts. "Nothing on the…" Her eyes narrowed as a new screen popped up. "Wait. Bryan, what the fuck is this? It says…it says that one of our saboteur units somehow got access to…look at all this shit! Shopping Center security measures, door locks, cameras, Chandler's PS3 and personal computer, the entire broadcast system…" She gasped in shock. "Arceus! ARCEUS! The CWCipedia archives!"

"WHAT?" The stunned Miscreants gathered around their young commander, staring excitedly as she tapped a few keys and shifted the contents of her laptop to the meeting room's flat projector screen on the wall. Immense quantities of data were being transferred wirelessly from the Shopping Center to the PVCC servers – Chandler's personal account numbers, files on the Chaotic Combo and the chu cloning programs, and even the security details for 14 Brunchville Lane itself. Suddenly, Operation Hedgeclipper was looking like a legitimate possibility again.

"Jesus fucking Christ," breathed Bryan Bash. "Did one of our hacker teams finally get through?"

"No," answered the commander as her eyes and face lit up in utter delight. "It's a LIESA unit."

---

Northeast CWCville, Factory District, outside the ruins of Hogwash, 7:32 p.m.

"…individual who was, who was brainwashed by her have been released of her spell, including tha ex-Manajerks. I am also going to make it legal for all homosexuals to do as dey please within the city, but tha h-, uh, gay marriage will continue to be, ah, illegal. I am appointin' Crystal to-"

"YEAH!" shouted one of the three EHPF guards as he and his comrades sat outside the collapsed tunnel that led to Filter Station Six of the former water treatment plant and PVCC base known as Hogwash, watching Christian Weston Chandler's speech from the CWCville Shopping Center on a portable TV set. "Father will not let those dirty homos ruin our city with their impure ways!"

"Our Creator is wise and merciful," commented the second Sonichu. "He will make sure all the homos are cured of the orientation of hell with his ingenious vaccine!" He placed his gloved hands on his hips and smiled smugly. "It was made from his own untainted blood, you know!"

The other two Electric Hedgehog Pokémon nodded vigorously, even though they had both been pretty much repeating this same conversation for the last two hours, never ceasing to grow tired of bashing their hated enemy. It was an immense honor for such heroic individuals as themselves to have been selected to guard the site of the Mayor's next victory, and all three of them simply couldn't wait for the day when the vaccine would finally be released to the world's water supply.

"When all the homos have been cured, at last Father will be free of all the stress they have caused," stated the first Sonichu. "Then his Love Quest can finally proceed and he will be able to find a boyfriend-free girl to make into his Sweetheart from the Ground-Up!" The declaration was met by wistful sighs from his comrades, both of whom were just as excited about their creator finding a possible mate as they were about doing hanky-panky with their Rosechu girlfriends.

"And with that heart-shattering witch Mary Lee Walsh out of the way," added the third EHPF officer, "nothing will stop Christian's Heart Level from reaching 100%...and beyond!"

"Excuse me! Hello?"

At the sound of this new and unfamiliar voice, the trio of Sonichus leapt up and whirled around dramatically, snapping into combat stances and getting ready to zap any intruders to the extreme.

"Who goes there!" the second one yelled. "Y'all better not be homos! Father is merciful, but you are entering a super top secret place, and we will zap you if you are one of the dang homos!"

A pair of humans - a young woman with blond hair and glasses and a calm-looking brown-haired man wearing a large pipe wrench across his back – stepped out from behind a large pile of rubble and approached the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon cautiously. Both of them were heavily armed: the first with an MP5 submachine gun and the second with an AA-12 automatic shotgun.

"Jerkops!" the first Sonichu yelled, and pointed dramatically to the pair of humans. "We should have known y'all would try something as foolish as this!" He grinned self-assuredly. "Well, y'all picked a bad time to mess with the unstoppable EHPF! Prepare for a zappin' battle, JERKS!"

"No! Wait!" The blond girl held out a hand as the officers charged. "We're not Jerkops!"

Unbelievably, the three Sonichus skidded to a halt and stopped, waiting to hear the explanation.

"…reason, he chose ta withdraw dat permission. Simonla was not my…mine ta begin with," continued Chandler's voice on the TV, "as she was originally based off of Simonchu. I had edited her CWCipedia bio page ta state dat she was not stolen from…not based off of Simonchu. Having created Simonla, I had gone against Evan's wishes, an' I…uh, I apologize for dat."

"The un-brainwashing from Ultra Sonichu freed our minds from Slaweel's control!" shouted the man with the wrench and AA-12. "All this time, we had been mindless slaves, forced to shatter countless hearts and ruin True Love Couples against our better judgment!" He smiled. "But now we have been set free of the witch's control, and we want to help the Mayor in his Love Quest!"

Simultaneously, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon grinned. Of course! Ultra Sonichu's psychic broadcast had freed all of the Jerkops in CWCville from their mental imprisonment, and now that Walsh and Graduon were unable to control their servants anymore, it only made sense that the former trolls would obviously want to help undo all of the stress they had caused to the Mayor!

"Ha ha!" laughed the third Sonichu, beaming with pride as he crossed his arms across his fuzzy chest. "Well, as Joseph said in the Bible, we must all learn to forgive those who slander against-"

"Yeah, yeah," sighed Matt, and fired a two-round burst into the chu's smug face, splattering its spiky head into a sticky mixture of blood, bone, and brain. Before the other two officers could even leap back in shock, Jexis raised her MP5 and unloaded an entire magazine into their torsos and abdomens, effectively perforating the Sonichus with at least a dozen bullet holes each. Choking and spluttering on lungfuls of their own blood, the yellow creatures dropped to their knees and collapsed forward one by one. The two Honey Badgers didn't even bother to finish the job, but simply watched and laughed as the dying chus bled out on the concrete.

"That never gets old," giggled Jexis, and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. "Good shooting!"

"Thanks, baby. You too." Matt stepped over to one of the dead Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and prodded it with his foot, then bent down, grabbed its hand, and placed it on the adjacent Sonichu's crotch. "God, they're just too stupid to live. Hope the rest of the mission's that easy."

"It won't be," sighed the young medic as the Battle Bus rumbled out of an alley across the street and parked on the road beside the water treatment plant's collapsed western tunnel. "These kinds of assignments never are."

"Well, this one won't be any easier with that attitude," replied the mechanic, and grinned as he drew a couple of joints and a lighter from his pocket. "I think I know just what you need, Doc."

Jexis shook her head. "Later. We're gonna need to keep our heads clear for this. And besides, there's gonna be Roseys coming out of the goddamn walls once we get inside. I don't want you-"

Matt's eyes narrowed. "Drop it. For fuck's sake, that got old, like, half a year ago."

"And yet, we will always remember that fateful day," Al remarked snidely as he, Kevin, and Steve escorted the rest of the Honey Badgers over to their two squadmates. "Good kills, you two. Don't get too used to that tactic – the True Blue won't be fooled as easily."

"Right." Matt quickly slid the magazine out of his AA-12 and inserted two fresh shells, just to be safe. "So what's the plan now, just walk up to the tunnel and ask them to clear it out for us?"

Steve nodded to Kuri, who obediently unclipped one of the two Poké Balls from her belt and tossed it into the air with a cry of "Go! Luxo!" In a flash of white light, the Lunatone had popped into existence, its crescent-shaped stone body suspended above the ground by psychic energy.

"We're going to have to blast our way in," explained the Legend as Kuri began directing Luxo to pulverize layer upon layer of debris and stone, effectively clearing away the blocked passage to Hogwash. "The main attack's gonna start in just a few minutes, and when that happens, I want everyone on top of their game. We're heading into enemy territory here."

"Good thing we brought them along," The Manajerk raised a hand to the radio on his shoulder strap and clicked it on. "Joe, you there? We're at the west tunnel and working our way in, over."

"Acknowledged," replied Joseph Herring. "Kacey and Liquid just sent out the attack order a few seconds ago. Meet up with Lynn's squad inside Station Six – we'll talk you through the rest. Watch your backs in there, guys. No one knows what they've been doing in there since 2006."

"So basically, Joe, what you're saying is 'make shit up as you go'." Steve laughed. "Deal. Out."

"Thank y'all for havin', uh, for your patience, an' respect, an' loyalty. I am Christian Weston Chandler, tha Mayor of CWCville, Virginia. Have a good an' safe…"

"For God's sake, someone shut that fucking thing off," snapped Al. Kevin raised his AK-47 and put a bullet through the screen of the portable TV, silencing Chandler's last words just seconds before the sound of a colossal explosion would have blasted out of the device's speakers. The Jerkops never heard the blast that killed Simonla Rosechu, nor did they know anything about what Alec Benson Leary and his colleagues had been up to over in the Shopping Center.

But what they did know was that the Second Battle of Hogwash was nigh, and that to save the human race from falling into utter chaos, Chandler's abhorrent vaccine needed to be destroyed.

---

West CWCville, subdivisions, CWCville Shopping Center, 7:38 p.m.

"Thank y'all for havin', uh, for your patience, an' respect, an' loyalty," finished Christian Weston Chandler as the crowd of Sonichus, Rosechus, Sonees, Roseys, and human loyalists sitting before him clapped and cheered. He smiled and stepped back, away from the podium. "I am Christian Weston Chandler, tha Mayor of CWCville, Virginia. Have a good an' safe day."

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

"AAAAAUGH!"

"What was dat?!" Chris shouted in shock. "Police! Medics! Check out the situation!"

"Don't worry, Father!" yelled Sonichu, leaping up from the chair behind Chris as Kel scrambled to grab her cell phone for an emergency call and Rosechu gathered the confused Cera, Christine, and Robbie up from where the three fuzzy babies had been crawling around and playing beneath the big conference desk behind the Mayor's podium. "I'm on it! You can count on me!"

"Yo, Sonichu!" Louis Perez waved to the yellow Electric Hedgehog Pokémon while the loyalist mercs under his command hurried toward the source of the blast. "Yo, we got this one covered, bro! You stay with Big C and your lady, all right?" He raised a walkie-talkie to his mouth and clicked it on as he dashed off. "Yo, Grant, gimme a lockdown on the Shoppin' Center, ASAP!"

"What kind of horrible monster would do something like this?" asked Rosechu in astonishment, and placed her pudgy, insipid children up on top of the table, where they immediately scattered and waddled away to harass the distraught Allison Amber. "Sweetbolt, do you think Simonla…"

"Of course not, heartsweet!" Sonichu replied confidently. "Don't say such stressful things!"

"I do not, uh, I do not like tha stress, Sonichu," mumbled Chris, wiping the sweat from his face as he collapsed into a chair. "Tha trolls keep making my life into such a Difficult Task with their games of Kick tha Autistic. I do not like being inter-, being speech-stopped by LOUD NOISES!"

"DADDEEEEEEE!" shrieked Robbie Sonee. Beside him, Allison Amber was forced to clap her hands over her ears to shut out the agonizingly shrill outburst. "Daddee, dere's a Wosey on TV!"

Sonichu and Chris looked up simultaneously to see that the giant screens throughout the atrium of the Shopping Center were no longer displaying footage from the many cameras aimed at the Mayor. Instead, they showed a single image – a single pink Rosey standing in the familiar office of Chris himself, surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper, old moldy fast food, crusty sex toys, and action figures. It looked for the most part like a normal baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, except for the eyes. Two chilling cyan screens stared out at the stunned audience, lacking any of the emotion or life that Roseys were normally supposed to exhibit…in Chris's mind, at least.

Raising an armstub, it waved at the camera.

"HI THERE!" the Rosey squealed, her voice changing pitch erratically as her eye-screens flashed from blue to orange and back to blue again. "I'M IN UR OFFICE, DESTROYING UR STUFF! LOLZ! WHEEEEEEE! U MAD, BRO? HEEHEEHEE! KILL IT WITH FIRE! YAY!"

The footage cut out, and in a burst of static, Christian Weston Chandler's heterochromic eyes were suddenly assaulted by a barrage of human penises. Limp and stiff, long and short, hairy and shaved, real and cartoon…it made no difference. The images flashed by at 24 cocks per second, meaning that by the time the shocked Mayor managed to avert his eyes, he had seen a grand total of 59 sets of male genitalia, most of which were in the midst of being used for the act of anal sex with other men. The rest were either buried inside the mouths of said other men or being fondled.

Chris never heard Sonichu's girlish scream of agony, nor the piercing wail of Robbie Sonee as the yellow baby chu toppled backward and reflexively vomited, urinated, and defecated all at once, nor the hundreds of tormented shrieks from the crowd of panicking chus. He never heard the cries of his friends and audience, because he himself was screaming louder than any of them, clawing at his ears as "It's Okay To Be Gay" blasted through the atrium at maximum volume.

Up in the Mayor's office, SUZI waddled away from Chandler's PS Eye, then grabbed his entire PlayStation 3 system and hurled it through the window, where it fell three stories and smashed a tiny homebred Sonee into a red smear on the asphalt, much to the dismay of the baby's horrified mother. As the Rosechu's high-pitched scream echoed across the parking lot and the cries of despair from her other victims resounded through the Shopping Center, the LIESA unit retracted an armstub to reveal her flamethrower stub. Hiding in one of the data piles at Tripod, she had been caught in Chandler's hasty teleport, and thus had been spared the indignity of being blown to smithereens like the other Devil Trolls. Like her best friend. Like poor, dead ERMA.

With fresh resolve, SUZI took aim at Chris's desk, where the original pages of the Sonichu propaganda comic and various other doodlings lay unattended, unprotected, and helpless against the blazing might of the little combat drone. She giggled. Her trolling work had only just begun.

---

Northeast CWCville, Factory District, ruins of Hogwash, Filter Station Six, 7:41 p.m.

CRASH! CRUNCH!

With an immense grinding and scraping of stone on concrete, Luxo's psychic impulse punched its way straight through the blocked evacuation tunnel, scattering a cloud of grey dust and pieces of debris in all directions from the center of the blast. Scanning the darkness with its luminous red eyes, the Lunatone drifted forward and pulsed gently, lighting the way as Kuri, Steve, Al, Kevin, and the other Honey Badgers followed it out of the passage and into Filter Station Six.

"Good going, Luxo," whispered Kuri, and patted her Pokémon on its crescent body. "Lights on."

Kevin quickly reached down the barrel of his AK-47 and punched the switch of the miniature flashlight affixed to its left side rails. A dim beam of light flickered on, and was quickly joined by identical beams from Steve, Kuri, Al, Jexis, and Matt. Serge and Allie had no need for such attachments, and Nate's Barrett was equipped with a night vision scope.

"That's better." Steve took a few tentative steps forward, sweeping his XM8 left and right to illuminate the darkness. "Guys, welcome to Filter Station Six…the last stand of Hogwash."

The air hung thick and musty in Kevin's nostrils, laced with the familiar and faint cloying stench of high-fructose corn syrup that the Honey Badgers had come to associate with the presence of feral Sonees and Roseys. The baby chus were definitely nearby, but in the darkness, there was no way of knowing just how many of them there were, or if they even knew that the Honey Badgers were there. But to the Jerkops, the cavernous room held nothing more than dust, darkness, and memories of the bloodshed and battle that had claimed so many of their comrades in 2006.

Gripping his assault rifle apprehensively, Kevin followed Steve and Kuri into the abandoned filter station, only stealing a few glances backward to check that all of his squadmates were still present. Zoey's death was making him paranoid in regards to what might happen to Nate, Allie, or Matt, and he still hadn't told Steve about what had happened out in the abandoned zone. He simply couldn't stop replaying the scene again and again in his mind, from the moment that the knife had pierced his former squad leader's stomach to Zoey's final fall into the sewers and the immense burst of flame that had claimed her life and the lives of her human and chu enemies.

"Hey," Matt muttered, tapping him on the shoulder. "Dude, you okay? You don't look so good."

Kevin shook his head. "Just nervous about this. That's all. How's it going with you?"

"Same. Wish I was high right now."

"That's…probably not a good idea," replied Kevin. Looking over his shoulder, he could see Jexis and Allie walking side by side, whispering to each other in hushed tones. "Heads up. Ten bucks says they're talking about us."

Matt shrugged. "They're girls. What else would they be talking about?"

"Goo-gee! Sonee!"

"Hold up!" Steve raised a fist as a chubby yellow blob squirmed its way out of a rusty piece of pipeline and waddled toward the cluster of bright lights, blinking drowsily and opening its little harelip mouth into a yawn. Staring at the Jerkops in bewilderment, the feral Sonee tilted its fuzzy misshapen head to the side and squinted into the blinding beam with a confused "goo-goo".

"Take it out," Al whispered to Kuri. "Quietly."

The Jerkop smiled. "Luxo. Hypnosis."

"Luuuuuna," hummed the Lunatone. Its eyes flashed with an ominous blue light, and the Sonee's blank reptilian eyes instantly turned from green to red as its pathetic willpower was shoved aside by Luxo's psychic attack. Its toothless mouth clamped shut of its own accord, and as the Jerkops looked on with amazement, the baby chu raised its armstubs to its semblance of a neck.

"Hey!" Kuri whispered, imitating the high-pitched tone of Robbie Sonee as she glanced back at Steve. "Wanna see my head come off, mista big meanie pywat Jewkop?"

"Never, ever use that voice around me again," muttered the Manajerk. "And yes. Yes, I do."

Kuri flashed him an evil grin and nodded to Luxo. "Luxo, use Psychic."

"Luuuuunatone!"

RRRRIP! CRACK! Flailing and kicking and unable to even scream, the Sonee wrenched upward with its weak noodle-like armstubs, pulling its own malformed, spiky, melon-shaped head free of its vertebrae. Blood squirted from the ragged wound, soaking into the yellow fuzz as the headless baby chu twitched and spasmed horrifically, its limbs still jerking up and down like those of a beheaded chicken. Luxo had given it some much-needed assistance in the actual severing of its own head, seeing as how it was far too weak to even attempt such a stressful feat.

"Holy fuck," a man's astonished voice echoed from the darkness. "Darren, Sam, did you-"

"Yeah, I saw it, Wayne," murmured Samantha Lynn as she stepped into the beam of Steve's flashlight and shielded her eyes. "They're all around us. If that little bastard had screamed…"

"What use is a cry for help…" Steve replied in a passable imitation of Agent Smith from The Matrix, and pointed to the Sonee's decapitated corpse, "…if it is unable to speak?" He grinned and lowered the flashlight. "Good to see you again, Lynn. How's your squad doing?"

"We came in through the sewers." Darren Harkenson appeared behind his squad leader, followed by Wayne Fitzgerald, Kamau Nkechi, Adam Jenkins, and Tony Sanders. "Had to take the long way in up from the river. There's a bunch of sleeping larvae down there. We had to sneak by."

Kevin couldn't help but stare at the motley array of Jerkops that now stood before them. In the years since the Honey Badgers had been sucked into the Warp, the Red Devils had lost two of their number: the squad sniper, Ken Miller, and their scout, Danni Owens. With their Manajerk crippled and paralyzed from the waist down, the squad had been reduced to a mere handful of hardened, bitter soldiers, each one bearing battle scars of their own. Harkenson's was the most prominent, though – a Robotnik Technologies bionic arm that had been attached at his right shoulder and now hung there in a swathe of hydraulic tubes. For a moment, losing Zoey and Nick seemed like a small concern compared to the troubles that Sam Lynn's squad had faced.

The tale of the squad's downfall had not gone unheard by Kevin or the other Honey Badgers. In the days before his betrayal, Blake Sonichu had fought alongside the Devils, and they, in turn, had bonded with him as a friend, overcoming their natural distrust of the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon species to wreak havoc upon loyalists and chus alike. But now that bond was shattered, and the Jerkops had paid with the life of their youngest squadmate, Danni. It had been Blake who crippled Darren's arm, and as Kevin looked into the Jerkop's eyes, he could see a cold hatred burning within them. This was a man who had more than earned the right to his own revenge.

"We'll keep heading east," Al said quickly, before any of the Honey Badgers could inquire about the artificial limb and make the rendezvous any more awkward than it already was. "Lynn, have your squad fall in with us. Whatever you do, keep them together. I don't want anyone-"

The low rumble of a distant explosion echoed through the hollow expanse of Hogwash, interrupting the Legend and immediately drawing the attention of every Jerkop in the Honey Badgers and Red Devils. More muffled blasts and a frenzied chorus of gunfire sounded from up ahead and to the southeast, signaling the start of the immense PVCC ground assault.

"Goddamnit," the Legend swore, and gestured hurriedly toward the other side of the filtering station. "That's our cue. We should've been inside by now! Come on! Move! MOVE!"

The harsh crackle of static filled the room as Steve dashed forward, unwittingly tearing the cord of his earbuds free of his walkie-talkie. For a moment, a shrill whine of feedback pierced the silence, and was immediately replaced by a deafening medley of explosions and gunfire.

"…we're not seeing them anywhere!" yelled a Jerkop over the other end of the transmission as the heavy rattle of machine guns blazed around her. "They should be right here! It's the only place they…COMMANDER ISELI, THE TRUCKS ARE GONE! THEY AREN'T HERE!"

"WHAT?" the distinctive voice of Wes Iseli sounded in the background.

"THE TRUCKS AREN'T HERE! THE FUCKING SPARKIES MUST'VE MOVED THEM!"

"GODDAMNIT! NO!" shouted the Miscreant. "Set up a perimeter! I'm calling Wilderness!"

"Steve." Al stared at his friend in abject horror, then lunged for the radio. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU MORON? TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"

"Oh, SON OF A BITCH!" shouted the blond Jerkop as he hastily reached for his shoulder and turned down the volume. The noise died with a click, and for a few seconds, there was silence.

Then, from the surrounding blackness, first one, then a dozen, then thousands of pairs of tiny green eyes slid open simultaneously throughout the massive chamber, all firmly fixed upon the small group of unsuspecting PVCC operatives. Soft little "goo-goo"s of confusion began spreading around the massive hive of concealed Sonees and Roseys, then escalated into a chorus of frantic, ravenous cries of "SONEE!", "WOSEY!" and "YAY!" as the feral baby chus picked up the scent of fresh, live prey that had wandered right into their very own living room.

"Everyone," breathed Sam as the squeals spiraled into pandemonium. "Get out. NOW!"

"RUN! FUCKING RUN!" roared Al, and bolted across the filter station as fast as he could.

Kevin didn't even bother to steal even a single glance at the starving, squealing swarm of larval Electric Hedgehog Pokémon scampering down the rusted pipes and sweeping across the floor toward the Jerkops. There wasn't even time to even off a few bursts from his AK. Gripped by an immense and unshakable terror, he reached back, grabbed Allie's hand, and pulled her forward into a desperate sprint, just as the rest of the Red Devils and Honey Badgers dashed away after Al and Sam. Panic fastened around his chest as he realized that in the chaos, he had lost track of both Matt and Nate. It was too dark to see anything, and the shouting of his comrades had been drowned out by a deafening chorus of shrieking baby noises and "YAY!"s. All he could do was run, and hold on to Allie's hand for dear life. If he lost her like he'd lost Nick and Zoey…

"AL!" shouted Steve, and pointed ahead to a large double utility door set into the south wall of the filter station. A single elevator shaft led up from the sublevel to the ground floor of the water treatment plant. "AL, GET THAT DOOR OPEN! GUYS! OVER HERE! FOLLOW AL!"

"KEVIN! HELP!"

Kevin whirled around at the sound of Allie's scream to see a single Rosey attached to her right arm. The little chu had paraskirted down from above, and was now attempting to gnaw its way through the young woman's shoulder pad. Without even thinking about what he was doing, the Jerkop released his grip on Allie's hand, raised his AK-47, and fired the 40mm grenade right out of the launcher and into the Rosey's bulbous head. There was a sickening crunch, and the fat, headless body of the baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon plopped to the ground, writhing on the floor and gushing blood as the two operatives raced away after their comrades.

Behind them, the swarm drew ever closer, waddling at even greater speeds than Kevin had ever believed they were capable of moving at. The hunger itself was eating away at their fatty bodies, turning them into leaner, faster, and much more dangerous eating machines. Some even had ribs standing out against their filthy coats of fuzz, and their eyes blazed with a soul-piercing energy that simply failed to manifest in their spoiled, well-fed homebred cousins.

Up ahead, Al slammed into the wall and punched the call button as hard as he could. To his immense surprise, the elevator immediately slid open with a ding, revealing an empty freight elevator that had once served as a supply transport for the Jerkops of Hogwash and their maintenance worker predecessors. Hurriedly stepping inside to make way for Steve, Lynn, and the rest of the Jerkops, he pushed the DOOR OPEN button and held it down.

Surrounded by squealing larvae, Kevin ran for the elevator, pulling Allie along behind him. The young woman, weighted down as she was by Trogdor the Burninator and her armor, was already panting with fatigue, but continued running nonetheless, determined to survive the onslaught of Sonees and Roseys. Up ahead, the two of them could see the open elevator, and the other Honey Badgers and Red Devils assembling inside.

"WAIT!" he yelled, stumbling over a little Sonee that had tripped and fallen in front of him. The baby chu screeched in agony as Allie stepped on its hindquarters, crushing its pelvis and feet into a smear of blood, shattered bones, and blue plastic. "AL, HOLD UP! WE'RE COMING!"

"KEVIN, WATCH IT!"

A single thunderclap from Nate's Barrett echoed across the sublevel, and Kevin felt something warm and wet splatter across the back of his neck. A Rosey slammed into the floor not two feet away, its fuzzy pink body nearly turned inside out by the force of the .50 caliber sniper round. Ignoring the splash of blood across his pants, he sprinted the last few yards to the elevator and pulled Allie in after him, turning just in time to kick away another paraskirting Rosey.

"That's it! That's all of them!" shouted Steve. "PUNCH IT, AL! ALLIE! FLAME ON!"

"Everyone, cover your eyes!" Allie flipped her welder's mask down and reached for Trogdor. Wrenching the flamethrower out of its heavy shoulder holster, she flipped the setting all the way up to REIGN OF FIRE, pointed the dragon's toothy mouth directly at the floor in front of the elevator, and squeezed the trigger. A searing gout of billowing flames exploded into the seething mass of Sonees and Roseys, setting the first few alight and forcing the remaining chu larvae to scatter and retreat from their burning comrades. Covered from heads to stumpfeet in blazing fuel, the stricken baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon wailed helplessly as the hungry fire consumed them, leaving little more than lumps of blackened fuzz and greasy adipose tissue behind.

Kevin gazed into the flickering flames, panting with exhaustion as he backed into the wall and collapsed to the floor between Matt and Nate. The doors slid shut and a faint light flashed on overhead, casting a faint greenish glow across the fifteen Jerkops. Wordlessly, Al pressed the button for the ground floor of Hogwash, and with a rumbling groan, the massive lift began its infuriatingly slow ascent up the ancient elevator shaft.

"Holy…fucking…shit…" Nate breathed at long last, breaking the silence. "Someone want to tell me how the hell we survived that?"

"There were thousands," growled Darren, flexing the fingers of his bionic hand as if choking a baby chu. "Arceus, I've never seen that many in one place before. There's got to be more-"

CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!

Kevin looked over to see Steve stomping his own radio into a mess of plastic shards and pieces of circuitry, punctuating each blow with a different profanity. The Red Devils stared in confusion as he effectively reduced the receiver to a pile of black dust, then spat on it for good measure.

"That wasn't your only radio, was it?" Kuri asked tentatively.

"No." Steve glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his eye, then reached into his back pocket and produced a second walkie-talkie. "I just don't like it when my own stuff tries to kill me." He clipped the new radio to his shoulder strap, switched it to the main PVCC operations channel, and sat down beside Kuri and Kamau. "Right. So, I'm guessing you're all warmed up by now…"

"Oh, come on." Matt flopped back into Jexis's lap and rolled his eyes as the frenzied squealing faded away below them. "Steve, for fuck's sake, can't we just have a minute to stop panicking?"

"Who's panicking?" asked Wayne. "We're all alive, aren't we?"

"Yeah," agreed Jexis, stroking Matt's hair. "Let's just…not do that ever again, okay? I'm sick of running from swarms of larvae…"

"Okay, okay." Steve raised his hands in mock surrender. "I admit it. I fucked up. But if you're all thinking about giving me a hard time over that, at least wait until we get out of here." He glanced up to Al. "Also, can we get one thing straightened out? Am I in charge here, or you?"

The Legend blinked. "Why would you even need to ask that?"

"Technically, you just came along with us," added Kevin, scooting over as Allie sat down beside him and encircled his chest with her soot-covered arms. "Steve's the only Manajerk here, right?"

"Well, see, the thing is…" replied Al, "I never quite got around to the whole official resignation bit. It was on my list, but I had a lot of stuff going on with Leary and Project Asperchu and…"

"You sneaky bastard," chuckled Steve, reaching over to give Al a fist bump. "Looks like we're back to the old order for now. Zo's not gonna be happy to hear she missed out on this one."

"Yeah. She'll be disappointed." Al shot a knowing glance at Kevin, but Steve failed to catch the look that passed between them. An awkward silence fell for another few seconds.

"Well, now what?" asked Tony, looking to Sam for instructions. "Has anyone ever actually been to Hogwash when it was still…you know…not full of ferals and broken shit?"

"Yeah, I did." Al exhaled slowly, wiping the condensation from the visor of his mask. "It's an interesting story, actually. See, when our squad was still the HEXterminators, we didn't get to go on assignments in the east districts too much. It was more like IRA stuff, car bombs, sniping…"

"Hey." Matt leaned his head up from Jexis's lap and tossed a little chip of concrete at Kevin while Al continued telling his story to whichever Jerkops were interested. "Come on, man, can't we talk about something?" He pointed to the Poké Balls hanging from the Jerkop's belt. "How about those? You didn't have them before they blew you out of the Battle B-"

"Found them in a Poké Mart," replied Kevin. "An Arbok went after Marty, and I managed to catch it when Sugar…" He paused. "Guys! Al! Al, what happened to Sugar while I was out?"

Steve perked up immediately. "Wait, what? You lost Sugar?"

"No, she's fine," sighed Al. "Wanted to stay and look after Marty while we were gone. I don't think she trusts Franken-Sonee enough to leave him alone with the kid. Let's just hope she doesn't try and eat him or anything. I'm no Kuri, but I'm pretty sure he tastes like rotten meat."

"Who's Marty?" asked Tony. "Who's Franken-Sonee? What are you even talking about?"

"Long, touchy story," Steve said quickly. "Al's been away for too long."

"Agreed." Al leaned back against the wall of the elevator. "God, this is taking forever."

"This thing hasn't been used since 2006," Sam said matter-of-factly. "I'm honestly surprised that you even managed to get it working. Thought we were gonna have to fight that whole army of babies while we waited for it to get here. Can you imagine if it had been all the way up on the-"

CLANG!

The Red Devil squad leader paused, bracing herself against the wall as the elevator shuddered. "Wait, what was that? Did anyone touch anything?"

"No," Steve growled as he reached for his walkie-talkie and clicked it on, flipping through the channels until he hit Iseli's frequency again. The gunfire and sounds of battle had died down into a scattering of assault rifle bursts and shotgun blasts, and there seemed to be far fewer Jerkops accompanying the Miscreant. Most of the additional dialogue was limited to "Merc down!" and "Reloading!", with the occasional "Contact!" and the accompanying eruptions of gunfire. After a few more moments of eavesdropping on Iseli, Steve switched it to Kacey Devoria's frequency.

"…and took out a whole segment of the freeway," the Miscreant muttered, her voice trembling with relief. "Whoever it was, they might have just saved the whole damn world. I've been trying to get some answers, but Vivian says it wasn't one of ours. Maybe Snyder's organization?"

"No," replied Liquid Chris in a hushed tone. "The Lumberjacks are too disorganized. And they wouldn't pull off a terrorist attack of that scale just because Chandler almost killed Snyder."

"At least it destroyed the convoy," said Kacey. "Thank Arceus. Thank Arceus, Chris!"

"Holy shit." Al stared at the radio in amazement. "Did you just hear that? Someone took out the trucks." He looked up at Steve and the two Jerkop squads. "Scratch one homosexuality vaccine."

"Hell fucking YES!" yelled Sam, raising her fist in the air as the Red Devils and Honey Badgers broke out in a fit of cheering. Kuri was sobbing with joy, clutching the rainbow armband she had kept from her experience in one of CWCville's straight camps during her more chaotic days.

"They must know something's up," stated Darren. He, Kamau, Al, and Serge had been the only ones abstaining from the impromptu celebration. "Sam, if Chandler knows we hit the Shopping Center and his convoy, he's going to…"

"What?" Kevin stared blankly at the Red Devil. "Back up. What about the Shopping Center?"

"We came back into radio range just when we got out of the sewer," Sam explained. "We just caught the tail end of Chandler's speech – someone set off a bomb and stole nearly every single secure file from the Shopping Center. I mean, everything. The CWCipedia archives, personal data of all the PMCs employed by Chandler, the original files of the Sonichu comic…"

"How…" Even with Al's face covered by his mask, Kevin could tell that his mouth was hanging open. "Good God, did someone just decide to take out Chandler for us? Who's been doing this?"

"No fucking idea," replied the Red Devil squad leader. She looked back to Steve's radio. "Wait."

"…yeah, this is Wes," Iseli's voice hissed from the receiver's speaker. "This is the frequency, right? I'm sick of switching back and forth all the time."

"Yeah, this is it," replied Vivian Gee, startling the Jerkops. "Talk to me, you two. What the hell is going on in there? Any contact with Morrison or Lynn's squads yet?"

"Shit!" Steve grabbed the walkie-talkie and squeezed the transmit button. "Commander! Honey Badger Command reporting, do you copy? Over!"

"Holy fuck. Copy that, Morrison." answered Kacey Devoria before either Iseli or Gee could reply. "What the hell have you and Lynn even been doing? Did you even get to the rendezvous?"

"Yeah, we did," Al cut in on his own radio. "Problem is, Kacey, that the rendezvous happened to be smack dab in the middle of a feral swarm. Seeing as how the main building of Hogwash goes down about five stories beneath where we were, I'm guessing we only just scratched the surface of an entire feral hive. They must've moved right in around the base, and the loyalists just kept them there for a little extra security. Does that answer your question?"

"Kacey, is that Ledger?" asked Gee. "Did you tell him what happened to Leary?"

"No." Kacey paused while the Legend listened raptly. "Bryan's been putting together the actual broadcast from the Asperpedia team's radios, but from what we've seen on FQX and the other news channels, the team was…compromised." She took a deep breath. "Alec, Sean, Mao, and Evan were all captured. Simonchu and the other one escaped, though. Who was he, Vivian?"

"Said his name was Water or something," replied Gee. "Waters. I didn't get his squad, though."

Oh, fuck, thought Kevin as he realized he'd completely forgotten about Ben. Ever since he had lost consciousness, the world and time itself seemed to have jumped ahead at a breakneck rate. He made no mention of the former mercenary, but Ben's actions were more than clear. He had somehow managed to tag along with Simonchu and the Asperpedia team, to conduct an attempt at assassinating one of Chandler's creations…or possibly even Chandler himself. Something had gone wrong, however, and the four scientists had been captured.

"Doesn't matter," Al spoke through gritted teeth. "What happened? Did they get their target?"

"Simonla Rosechu's dead," the PVCC commander stated coldly. "They called it about six minutes ago. But there's another one, a Rosey. Wild and Simonla's baby. Schwartz helped deliver her right after the bitch died, and…you're not going to believe this…the Rosey's a-"

CLANG! Another tremor rocked the elevator, interrupting Gee before she could finish her sentence. A muffled metallic screech sounded through the complex, followed by a thunderous crash as something large slammed into the bottom of what sounded like another elevator shaft.

"What the fuck are they doing in there?" asked Kacey. "Wes, are you in the control room yet?"

"Yeah, we're bypassing most of the security measures with our Devil Troll," said Iseli. "We just cut the power to the main systems and subsystems in Sectors One and Two. Three should be out soon, and then we'll start moving into the sublevels to engage any security teams down there. Lynn, Morrison, if you're near a stairwell, hold your positions until we get our squads down."

"No. NO!" Sam screamed into her walkie-talkie. "ABORT! ABORT IT! WE'RE IN THE ELE-"

CLANG!

"Oh, fucking hell," gasped Iseli as the lift stopped moving. "GET OUT OF THERE! NOW!"

"Nobody…move…" Al growled, freezing in place. "Steve. Give me your kukri." He looked around. "I'm gonna try and pry the door open. Nobody moves a muscle unless I say-"

CRUNCH!

"OH, FUCK!" screamed Kevin as the entire elevator lurched and dropped out from under him, sliding down as its cable gave way. "OH GOD! ALLIE, HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!"

With a horrible rusty squeal, the Honey Badgers and Red Devils plunged into the abyss, unable to move, unable to escape, unable to do anything but struggle helplessly and yell in terror. Floor after floor shot by, and the frantic yells of the Miscreants grew softer and softer until at last, nothing more than static issued from Steve and Al's radios. Kevin held on to Allie as hard as he could, clutching her to him as they tumbled and rolled around the floor of the elevator.

That's how it ends? he wondered to himself, and plunged his fingers into her beautiful hair…her long, burnt-smelling, slightly scorched hair. Allie squeezed her eyes shut and hugged him close.

"Kevin," she sobbed into his ear as the lift let out a shriek and plunged into freefall. "Kevin, I l-"

CRASH!

I love you too, Allie, Kevin thought, mere milliseconds before they both slammed into the floor.

---

Northeast CWCville, Factory District, ruins of Hogwash, Sublevel 7, 7:58 p.m.

Seven full stories beneath the surface of CWCville, the broken frame of what had once been a large freight elevator lay in a crumpled, collapsed heap, illuminated by the faint red pulse of an emergency light. With the main lines cut, Hogwash's electrical supply for the main level and its sublevels had been reduced to an assortment of backup power generators and automated lighting. A cloud of dust hung in the air, billowing out from the pile of debris that had collected at the base of the elevator shaft as a low, faint alarm blared from the other side of the nearest door.

Breathing softly through his nose, Kevin lay on his side beneath a rusted piece of sheet metal, his arms still wrapped around Allie as if he was acting as a living shield for the young woman. Aside from a throbbing pain in his shoulder and ribs where he and Allie had hit the floor of the elevator due to the jarring momentum of the crash, he didn't feel too mangled or otherwise injured.

"Oh…fuck…" he heard Nate groan from a yard away. "Whoever's got their elbow sticking into my spine is about to die."

"Then get your foot out of my face," grunted Adam Jenkins in a muffled, very uncomfortable-sounding voice. "OW! Arceus! Your other foot, you moron!"

"God…dammit." With a clatter of metal, Al rose to his feet and brushed off his trench coat, then winced and clutched his side. "That was…good God, that stings. Anyone still alive in here?"

Gritting his teeth, Kevin pushed his shoulder against the metal square and was relieved to feel it slide off as he heaved Allie's body out of the wreckage. The young woman stirred beneath him, then began coughing and sneezing as a cloud of dust wafted into her nose. Weak with relief, the Jerkop pulled her close and embraced her again. It was all he could manage, due to the fact that his arms and legs felt as if they were going to simply drop off of his torso at any given moment.

"Are you okay?" Allie gasped, and hugged him back. "Kevin, I…I thought we were gonna die."

"Head count," coughed Steve, frantically trying to brush what looked like a cubic inch of dust out of his mustache and thin facial hair. "Come on, guys, if anyone died, I want to know now."

"We're good," Al grunted. "What I want to know is…why the hell are we all still alive? That must've been a five, six story drop."

"There's your answer," replied Wayne, and pointed up to a line of deep cuts in the side of the lift. "We must've been caught on the side and slowed down – that's when we all hit the floor."

"Right, and that…hang on…" Steve drew Origin, spun the barrel, and fired a flare shot straight up the center of the shaft. Kevin followed the rising light with his eyes, trailing it up five, six, and finally seven floors before it struck the ceiling and sputtered out. "Yep. That just happened."

Al trudged through the wreckage to the sealed elevator doors and detached the flashlight from his assault rifle to get a better look. As Kevin, Steve, and the other Jerkops set about gathering up their lost weapons and any ammunition that had fallen loose, the Legend ran a finger down the seam of the doorway, then tore off his gloves and attempted to force the doors open, to no avail.

"We're locked in, aren't we?" asked Sam as she and Tony managed to wrench Kamau's RPD free from a pile of scrap metal, much to the delight of its owner.

"Looks like." Al jammed his combat knife into the seam and ran it down from ceiling to floor, then stopped halfway. "Dammit. This thing's welded shut from the other side."

"Don't worry," Darren muttered, and clenched his hydraulic fingers into a tight fist. "I got this."

CLANG! CRASH! In a shower of sparks, the Jerkop tore through the entire door as if it had been nothing more than a piece of heavy poster board or wood, delivering blow after blow to the thick steel until at last his fist exploded out of the other side. Breathing heavily from the effort, Darren braced his foot against the doorway and pulled back, his robotic limb straining and shaking as it ripped apart the mess of hastily-welded metal doors to reveal…

"Oh, fuck," Kevin gasped, fumbling with his AK-47 as an entire room full of shocked men and women in white lab coats stared back at the Jerkops in disbelief. Across the foremost part of the massive laboratory, several glass terrariums full of squirming pink and yellow fuzzballs sat on the examination tables, while the counters along the walls were stocked with assorted vials and beakers of bubbling, steaming, smoking orange liquid. The southern wall was nothing more than a massive sheet of reinforced Plexiglas, beyond which lay a cavernous chamber illuminated by a line of dim floodlights. At the center of the group of startled loyalist scientists, two armored men with SPAS-12 shotguns whirled towards the elevator and raised their weapons. "OH, FUCK!"

"GET DOWN! GET DOWN!" yelled Sam, and hurled a pair of grenades as hard as she could directly through the open doorway into the underground lab. "FLASH OUT!"

Kevin and Darren whirled back, covering their ears just in time as the grenades exploded with a pair of deafening BANGs and a blinding double burst of light. A deafening chorus of terrified "WAAAAHHHHH!"s mingled with the shouted profanities and screams of the panicking, blinded loyalist scientists. Over the chaotic din, Kevin could hear several glass objects shattering to pieces, and the loud blaring of a fire alarm as it cut through the shrill wailing of the baby chus.. The screaming escalated as Nate's Barrett roared twice, accompanied by a hollow crack from Darren's own sniper rifle and the sound of two stricken bodies hitting the floor.

"PVCC! EVERYONE ON THE GROUND!" roared Al as Steve and Kuri charged through the door and into the research lab, firing their guns into the air to incite even more panic among the chu larvae and scientists. "KISS THE GODDAMN FLOOR, YOU LOYALIST BASTARDS!"

"Go! Go!" Darren shouted. Gripping his assault rifle, Kevin hurriedly followed Al out into the open, while the Red Devil and the rest of the Jerkops filed out behind them. By now, Steve and Kuri were hurrying forward through the maze of tables to root out any loyalists who were trying to crawl away, rounding up the collection of three dozen men and women into a single group and providing hasty motivation to any who disobeyed with a few perilously close bursts of gunfire.

"DROP IT!" Kuri shouted, aiming her P90 directly at the chest of a balding, bespectacled man who was hurriedly attempting to pocket a scalpel. "Don't even think about it! Clear right!"

"And clear left," replied Steve. He stepped up to the nearest cage, thrust his hand inside, and snatched a squealing feral Sonee up in one hand. "Arceus. Al, look. It's a monitoring station."

"Jesus. All right, Serge, Matt, Kuri, you three watch our prisoners." The Legend nodded to Sam and stepped forward, flipping his mask back for a better look at a large control console on the far side of the room. "There we go. I'm gonna try and patch through to the admins with some of the PA relays in here. Grab anything that looks important."

"You heard him!" yelled Sam, and gestured hurriedly to the examination tables and computers across the laboratory. "I want this place cleaned out, ASAP! Let's move it, Devils! Go! Go!"

"Shaw!"

Kevin turned to see Darren and Tony approaching from his left. Allie, Jexis, and Jenkins were all making their way through the lab, collecting as many documents, manila folders, and CD-ROMs as they could carry, while Nate and Kamau kept watch for any additional security.

"You ever seen anything like this?" Darren asked. "I know you guys found that other facility…"

"Nope, that was a lot worse," replied Kevin, shuddering at the memory of Dexter Booth's rescue operation from hell. "I don't know what they're testing down here, but it's nothing like…that."

"We should grab some of that, too," suggested Tony, pointing at a collection of papers and a single digital security tape lying on a counter beside a large beaker of the unidentified liquid. "Hey. Darren, what do you think this orange stuff is?"

"Don't touch that. Please."

Kevin looked down to where a frightened-looking man was staring up at him, silently pleading as his eyes darted back and forth between the Jerkops and the mysterious substance. "Why?"

"Spit it out," growled Darren, and grabbed the prisoner by his head, hoisting him off the ground using his bionic arm. "Word of advice - this thing isn't too stable. I'd tell the truth if I were you."

"Oh, God," pleaded the man. "Arceus…please… It's…we…we never meant to make that thing. The Mayor wanted us to…he said it was a backup plan, in case the…in case the vaccine failed."

"Thanks." Darren dropped the scientist to the ground and snatched up the beaker with his other hand. "Guys, there's no way we're leaving all this stuff down here. Tony, go get some of those sample jars and bring 'em over here." He nodded to Kevin. "Give me a hand."

"Ugh." The Jerkop picked up the beaker and winced as the smell of artificial citrus flavor wafted into his nostrils. There was something else, too…a far more disturbing, unnatural odor buried beneath the sickly sweet orange scent. "God, what the hell is this shit? Smells like someone tossed a used condom into a bunch of Fanta and lye or something. Darren, can you smell that?"

"Yeah." Harkenson grimaced and hurriedly held out a large plastic sample jar that Tony had acquired, taking care not to get any of it on his hands as Kevin poured in the orange liquid. The younger Red Devil quickly screwed a cap on the jar and wrapped a length of duct tape around it, just to be safe. "Get that to Sam, Tony. We'll take care of the-

CRASH! The Jerkop's remark was abruptly interrupted when the lab's eastern and western doors exploded inward, decimated by breaching charges. Before the Honey Badgers and Red Devils knew what had happened, four grenades clattered through the open doorways and burst, pouring their payloads of chemical smoke into the air as the scientists and baby chus began coughing and choking. Holding his breath, Kevin glanced at Darren and raised his AK-47 to the door.

Seconds later, the shooting began.

"INCOMING!" screamed Kuri as something massive and armored charged through the doorway. Kevin barely even had enough time to dive for cover behind one of the examination tables before a searing arc of lightning swept through the room, nearly striking both Darren and himself. With another loud crash, another one of the steel-clad Sonichus burst into the laboratory and fired off a heavy electric blast that would have killed Matt instantly…had Jexis not tackled him to the floor. Without warning, a squad of mercenary guards poured into the room after the armored Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, firing indiscriminately with an array of shotguns, SMGs, and assault rifles.

"OH, FUCK THIS!" Drawing Origin, Steve blasted one of the armored EHPF shock infantry in the face with an incendiary round, setting its helm alight as the white-hot magnesium explosion blazed away. The Sonichu let out a filtered cry of surprise and pain, frantically attempting to rip the glowing orange steel mask off its face. "SHOCKERS! AL, WE GOT HEAVY SPARKIES!"

"Damn it! Hold them off!" yelled Al, frantically punching buttons on the PA console while Wayne and Matt engaged the first elite Sonichu with concentrated fire to draw its attention away from him. "Remnant Five, Remnant Five, this is Ledger! For God's sake, someone answer me!"

A double blast of buckshot exploded across the table next to Kevin's head, shredding a stack of reports into confetti. Cursing under his breath, the Jerkop kicked open a storage cupboard under the table, pushed his AK-47 through to the other side, and began firing indiscriminately at the unseen mercenary soldier. He didn't know if he had actually hit anything or if the loyalist had simply dodged out of the way, but the shotgunner immediately ceased his or her assault. Another focused Thundershock swept across the room as the wounded Shocker opened up on Allie, but with so much chemical smoke filling the room, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon might as well have also been blind. Lunging forward with an enraged shout, the elite Sonichu whirled around and drove its sparking steel fist into one of the tables. In seconds, nothing remained but splinters.

"ALLIE!" Kevin leapt forward and grabbed the young woman by the arm, wrenching her out of the way as the rampaging Shocker charged. Bracing the AK against his shoulder, he emptied the rest of his magazine into the armored chu's melted helm. Across the lab, Nate was blasting away at the other elite Sonichu's chest and side, punching massive dents into the reinforced plating while Kamau suppressed a small group of mercs with his RPD. Steve and Wayne had teamed up to protect Al, with Kuri, Matt, and Jexis providing fire support from the center of the room.

"That wasn't fair, you JERKS!" roared the Shocker, and blindly lunged toward Kevin. Even through its mask filter, the elite EHPF soldier's voice still held that annoying nasal whine. "I'll break you dead, Jerkop troll weaklings! Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Enough! GUYS, GET DOWN!" Darren lunged from the side and delivered a shattering punch to the armored chu's torso, his bionic arm ripping through steel plates and flesh alike as he literally hurled the Shocker off the ground and into the observation window. With a gurgling electronic scream, the elite Sonichu crashed through the glass, its immense bulk easily carrying it through the reinforced window and out of Hogwash. Instantly, a shrill alarm siren blared through the lab, and the dim fluorescent bulbs in the ceiling switched to flashing red emergency lights.

"PERIMETER BREACH," a voice announced over the PA system. "PERIMETER BREACH. ALL ON-SITE PERSONNEL, EVACUATE BIO LAB SIX IMMEDIATELY. PERIMETER BR-"

"SONEE! NEEEEEEEE!"

"SEEEEE! GOO-GOO! WOSEEEEY!"

"KEVIN! RUN!" screamed Allie, pushing Kevin away from the shattered window not a moment too soon. With a frenzied shriek of "YAY!", nearly a hundred starving feral Sonees and Roseys poured through the breach, scampering and waddling into the laboratory as dozens more of their larval comrades surged up behind the initial swarm to get at the tasty humans battling within.

"FUCK! BREACH! WE GOT A BREACH!" a mercenary shouted over the intense cacophony of "goo-goo"s and "YAY!"s. "FALL BACK! GET EVERYONE OUT OF THE LAB, NOW!"

"SON! SONICHU!" A whirling yellow blur streaked through the shattered window and unrolled itself, scanning the room with a fused set of bloodshot green eyes as two more feral Sonichus and a Rosechu dashed over the horde of their squeaking babies. Without even bothering to take aim, Kevin fired a grenade at the pack of adult chus, then turned and bolted after Allie and Darren.

Across the lab, the battle had fallen into absolute chaos. The few loyalist scientists who hadn't already escaped the shootout or else had been killed in the crossfire were now fighting for their lives against a literal flood of hungry baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, while the mercenaries retreated through the breached doors and lay down a withering barrage of buckshot and bullets toward the squealing larvae. Dozens of Sonees and Roseys exploded in spurts of blood as gunfire from both sides rained down upon them, but the hunger of the horde was simply insatiable. In the middle of it all stood the last, wounded Shocker, its armor dented and cracked, screaming in pain as the baby chus clung to its legs and the adults Spin Dashed it over and over until, at last, it fell.

"I got through!" Al shouted as he leapt backward and kicked a Sonee away, then raised his AAC and began indiscriminately firing at the advancing larvae. "Steve, they're gonna airlift us out!"

"WHAT?" The Manajerk grabbed Sam and pulled her back just in time to avoid a Rosey that was waddling toward her foot. Unsheathing his kukri, he stabbed it in the throat and ripped up, nearly decapitating the little chu as Allie started laying down a billowing curtain of flame across the right flank. On the other side of the room, Kamau was engaging the flood with Wayne and Kuri, while Serge kept Baba Yaga blazing away at any feral Sonichus or Rosechus that appeared.

"I SAID THEY'RE GOING TO AIRLIFT US OUT!" roared the Legend. "EVERYONE INTO THE ELEVATOR! GRAB A HARNESS AND HOOK UP!"

"Go! Get inside!" cried Allie as she opened Trogdor's feed valve to BURNINATE and unloaded a burst at the mass of larvae. Kevin fired off the last few shots in his AK-47's magazine, then shouldered the weapon and followed Matt through the open elevator door. To his surprise, a long climbing rope now hung down from above, upon which were attached several hooked harnesses.

Hurriedly, the Jerkop grabbed the nearest free harness and strapped himself in, glancing from the elevator to the burning, shrieking mayhem on the other side of the door while the other Honey Badgers and Red Devils dashed into the elevator and grabbed harnesses of their own. Steve, Al, and Sam were shouting instructions to each other and their operatives, but Kevin could hardly hear what they were saying over the sounds of gunfire, crackling flames, and screaming larvae. At long last, Allie burst through the door and ran to him, her face and arms black with soot.

"There's too many," she panted, snatching up a harness and strapping it across her chest. "I put up another firewall to hold them off, but it's not gonna last much longer!"

"Al!" yelled Sam, and grabbed hold of the rope. "Al, how do we let them know we're ready?"

"I got it!" Steve raised Origin above his head and fired a second flare round. Once again, the bullet ascended upward through the darkened shaft, illuminating each floor before it erupted into blazing sphere of light at the top. "Sam, hang on!"

"Wait, what? AAAGH!" The rope reeled in without warning, and Sam was hurled upward into the air, followed by Tony, Nate, Steve, Jexis, and Matt. Kevin barely had time to prepare himself before the harness jerked him off the floor of the elevator, nearly knocking the wind out of his lungs from the force of the pull. Tied together by the single rope, the Honey Badgers and Red Devils shot up the elevator shaft, floor after floor until their ascent finally came to an abrupt halt.

"You guys okay?" a voice called down from above. Looking up, Kevin could see a single Jerkop looking down at the line of harnessed operatives, while two more helped pull Sam off the line.

"We're good!" Wayne shouted. "Don't let the line slip, okay? What squad are you guys with?"

"Hammerheads, from ChinaTown!" yelled the man. "You?"

"Honey Badgers and Red Devils!" Steve glanced down to make sure all of the operatives were still hanging on. "Both from Menchi-Nasu until today! Did Iseli and Devoria send you?"

"Yeah, we rigged up the harness line!" the Jerkop explained. "A squad from Wilderness dropped it off with a helicopter a few minutes ago! They're gonna blow open the top of the elevator and rappel inside from there! We're holding back the mercs with the air support from Slumberland for now, but you guys need to get up here ASAP! We got loyalists coming in from everywhere!"

"Son of a bitch," chuckled Steve. "Martinez." He looked back up at the Hammerheads, who by now had successfully extracted Tony. After unbuckling each Jerkop from the line, they switched on a generator and hauled up a few more feet of rope, then helped the next operative off.

"Kevin?" Matt nudged Kevin's shoulder with his boot, instantly getting his friend's attention. "Hey, Kevin, what was that weird orange stuff? I saw you guys taking some from the lab."

Kevin glanced down the little test tube on his shoulder strap. "Hell if I know. Al, any ideas?"

"I'm gonna have to take it back to the Library and run some tests on it," replied the Legend. "Don't let that thing smash open, whatever you do. It might be acidic or toxic."

"Whatever it is, it just smells wrong," added Darren. "Tony and I each took a jarful, if you need some extra material. There was a tape sitting right next to it – we grabbed that too, just in case."

"Good man." Al braced himself as the rope reeled upward again. Steve hurriedly hopped off and drew his assault rifle, followed by Jexis, Matt, Kevin, and Allie. As the Honey Badgers and Red Devils made their way out of the elevator room and into what appeared to be a sizeable lounge area, the Hammerheads continued their rescue, extracting the Jerkops on the line one by one.

The Jerkop leaned against the wall next to Allie, allowing himself to finally relax and take in the sheer magnitude of what he and his squadmates had just survived. He felt a hand slide into his own and returned the squeeze, exhaling as the beating of his heart slowed back to a normal rate.

"Hell of an adventure, huh?" Allie asked, smiling weakly as she wiped the soot from her face.

Kevin nodded and leaned over for a quick kiss. "You did a good job down there."

"Thanks," coughed the Jerkop. "You too." She sighed and sank down to the floor, sitting cross-legged as her squadmate slid down to join her. "Maybe we should just take tomorrow off, huh?"

"I have no problem with that," said Kevin. "Arceus…today was an absolute fucking nightmare."

"Everyone up." Steve rose to his feet as more explosions sounded from the nearby battlefront. "Al, is that it? Everyone's out of the elevator?"

"Yeah," replied the Legend, and swapped his spent AAC magazine for a fresh one. "We're going to split up. Sam's taking her Devils down to reinforce the west approach with Kacey, and we're staying here to give Iseli some backup." He looked around, quickly evaluating the state of the Honey Badgers. "We went through hell today, Steve. You with me for one last battle?"

The Manajerk clenched his fingers into a fist and looked up at his old friend. "Only one, Al?"

"That's what I like to hear." Al placed a hand on the door and nodded to Steve as the Red Devils hurried away down the hall toward the western part of Hogwash. Darren gave Kevin a brief nod, then dashed off to join his squadmates. One by one, the tired Honey Badgers rose to their feet and checked their weapons and any ammunition they had left over from the battle on Sublevel 7.

"Everyone ready?" Al growled, bracing his shoulder against the doorway as the sounds of battle continued reverberating through the depths of Hogwash. A yellow light flashed in the distance, followed by the heavy roar of another explosion and the squeal of tires against concrete.

Steve nodded and raised his XM8. "Do it."

"BREACHING!" roared the Legend, and burst through the door. "CONTACT! OPEN FIRE!"

"MOVE UP AND ENGAGE!" yelled Kevin, and fired off a triple burst from his AK-47 into the windshield of an approaching Humvee as the Jerkops charged. "Nate, start picking 'em off!"

"Get some suppression fire on them!" Steve pointed furiously to the smoking ruin of another truck that had been hit by an enemy Javelin and destroyed. "Serge, put it right down the middle!"

The colossal garage of Hogwash had once been used for holding tanker trucks full of chemicals for purifying the city's water, but after the PVCC had claimed and lost the facility, the forces of Chandler had simply moved right in and used it to store most of the vehicles and equipment used in the observation of the underground feral hive and the pacification of northeastern CWCville. Now that the hammer of the PVCC was falling upon Hogwash, though, the massive room had been hastily transformed into a collection of burning and bullet-riddled metal husks that had once been cars, trucks, Humvees, and other True Blue support vehicles. The bodies of wounded and dead EHPF officers littered the floor, with the occasional mercenary or Jerkop breaking up the monotony of bloody yellow fur and battery-blue running shoes.

"Is anyone else still wondering how the hell we got out of there alive?" yelled Matt as he knelt down to reload. Jexis leapt to her feet and sent a few bursts toward the merc lines, then hit the floor as well. "Goddamn it, why the fuck do we keep ending up underground with all kinds of-"

"I don't know!" shouted Kevin. "Nate, target moving out of cover by the flipped Hummer!"

"Thanks!" Nate hurriedly lined up the shot and fired, then cursed as it rebounded off the vehicle. "Fuck! Missed him! They're staying too far back!"

Kevin nodded in agreement. It seemed odd that the mercenaries weren't advancing on them…in fact, if he had to guess, he would have attributed the immensely high merc-to-chu death ratio to the fact that the loyalists were simply letting their EHPF allies dash forward to their doom. Either the mercenaries were throwing so many Sonichus in their direction for some distraction tactic, or else, they were simply past the point of caring about what happened to the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon as a whole. Seeing as how Chandler had just killed so many of their friends at Tripod, the Jerkop was more than willing to bet on the latter. After all, what did the mercenaries care for-

An ominous squeal of tires sounded from the other side of the garage. As Kevin stared in horror, the line of Humvees roared forward simultaneously, tearing across the battlefield even as bullets ricocheted and rebounded off of their reinforced chasses. Desperately stumbling backwards, he promptly tripped, firing off a surprised burst from the AK into the floor. The line of armored vehicles bore down upon him like a herd of berserk elephants, smoke gushing from their tires as another wave of loyalist mercs and EHPF officers charged from behind with a furious battle cry.

"KEVIN!" screamed Allie, sprinting toward him as the wall of steel closed in. "KEVIN, NO!"

"DOOP DE DOO! DOOP DE DOO! WHEEEEEEEE! IMMA FIRIN' MA LAZ0R! BWAAAAH!"

SHOOOOOOP! A blazing beam of energy seared across the windshield of a nearby vehicle, rupturing the bulletproof glass and sending the entire Humvee careening into the one adjacent to it. Before the first driver could draw his sidearm, SUZI slammed into the window headfirst and carried on right through it, delivering a crushing piledriver blow to the mercenary's face and unleashing a blast of flames from her skirt repulsors that set his hair alight. Giggling with glee, the LIESA unit grabbed hold of the steering wheel and ripped it off, then smashed through the windshield and hurled the entire thing into the window of another vehicle.

CRASH! As SUZI began strafing another Humvee with her laz0r, a blue sedan smashed into the one about to run Kevin over, ramming the vehicle directly in the side. The car's airbag activated with a loud hiss, while Allie pulled Kevin backwards out of the way. Across the garage, the Jerkops were falling back, firing on the oncoming wave of loyalist soldiers and Sonichus.

"Are you okay?" Allie yelled, her voice shaking in panic. "Kevin, get up! Come on, Kevin, get-"

BANG!

"AAAAAAGH!" The young woman collapsed backward, clutching her side where the bullet had struck and screaming in immense pain as a bloody stain spread through the left side of her jacket. For a moment, Kevin felt the chilling paralysis take hold again, and he was back in the sewers watching Jake fall to his death, deep in the Abyss as Amanda pulled the pin, lying flat on the ground in the abandoned zone while the knife entered Zoey's stomach again and again. Dragging himself across the cold concrete floor with numbed fingers, he felt his stomach drop out of him as he reached out and felt something warm and sticky beneath his wrist.

Words would not come. The scream of rage that built inside him simply would not allow itself to be unleashed. Moving in a dreamlike state, Kevin unzipped his squadmate's jacket and pressed his hand to her trembling side as hard as he could to staunch the flow of blood. Allie convulsed with agony at his touch, screaming again and again as the Jerkop fought to drag her back to safety, toward the one person he knew could save her life.

"JEXIS!" he shouted desperately. "ALLIE'S HURT! JEXIS, HELP ME!"

"You don't…give up…do you?" snarled a familiar voice. Kevin whirled around, staring through teary eyes as a figure in blue armor staggered towards him, a pistol clutched in its bloody hand. The mercenary's face now bore a fair amount of bruising and several cuts from the immense blunt trauma he had sustained in the collision, and the lenses of his sunglasses were shattered and split, but there was no mistaking that short beard or the old scar across his face. Another loyalist, a balding man with an impressive mustache, stood beside him, holding a SCAR-H. The second man was hardly even injured, and carried an air of intense authority about him.

"How dare you," the mercenary commander growled, staring at the fallen Jerkops as the captain stepped forward to finish the job. "How dare you sully our fair city with your vile…rebellion."

"Hard to find, sir," spat Herb Patterson. "Hard to kill. Easy to wipe out." He smiled, displaying a set of bloodied teeth, then raised the pistol and pointed it at Kevin. "Say 'hæ' to Goody for m-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH THEM, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

The gun went off with an earsplitting bang as Ben vaulted over the hood of the blue sedan and slammed into Patterson, knocking him backward and delivering a vicious punch to his head. The mustached merc spun around, assault rifle in hand, but before he could even bring the weapon up to fire, an empty Smirnoff bottle hurtled through the air and smashed across his back. Grunting in pain, the commander staggered forward just as Al charged with a vicious yell and slammed the stock of his AAC into the mercenary's stomach. Enraged and in pain, the loyalist hurled himself at the Legend and knocked the weapon from his foe's hands, then grabbed him around the waist and tackled Al. The two men began struggling, trading punch for punch, kick for kick, blow for savage blow as they fought to pin each other down long enough to finish it.

Before Kevin could even comprehend what had just happened, Jexis and Nate were at his side, yelling to him and each other as Matt heaved him off Allie and helped Nate pull the injured Jerkop back behind a wrecked truck. Unzipping her medical kit, Jexis drew her combat knife and slashed open Allie's shirt to reveal a deep wound, then pressed a hand against her back.

"Through and through," she breathed in immense relief. "Missed her liver by a few centimeters."

"Is she gonna be okay?" Kevin asked, his face twisted by anxiety. "Arceus, Jexis, tell me she's-"

"She'll be okay if I can patch her up in time!" yelled Jexis.

"KEVIN! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" shouted Steve from what sounded like a few miles back. "AL! AL, IS KEVIN WITH YOU?"

"Son of a bitch! HOLD ON!" roared Al, and leapt back as the mercenary officer drew his combat knife and lunged. Grabbing the man's outstretched hand, he twisted it back and tried to seize the blade, but a crippling punch to his ribs sent the Legend reeling backward in immense pain. The knife clattered away and rolled beneath one of the wrecked Humvees, while Al grabbed the merc by the shoulders and headbutted him in the face, painfully introducing him to the welder's mask.

"We have to get her out of here!" Kevin knelt beside Allie and grabbed her by her upper arms, heaving her off the ground as Jexis and Nate helped. "Matt, cover us!"

"I got your back, man," snarled Matt, and whirled around to fire his AA-12. "Now MOVE IT!"

With Allie's shuddering body in tow, the three Honey Badgers hurried back the way they had come, keeping as low to the floor as possible while Matt blasted away at anything moving with his automatic shotgun. Once, Kevin thought he caught a glimpse of Ben and Patterson locked in brutal close combat, but a volley of incoming bullets quickly distracted his attention. The rest of the squad had already fallen back to the door leading to the elevator room, while far across the garage, Wes Iseli had transformed into Wes-Li Sonichu and was wreaking immense destruction on any EHPF officers or mercenaries that dared to approach his retreating Jerkops.

"About fucking time!" Steve snarled, and fired a long burst at a Sonichu dashing towards him. "Al! Al, you're not gonna believe this. Vivian just issued a full evacuation order. They just got in contact with a cargo plane coming in from Tennessee…" He stopped. "Oh fuck. Where's Al?"

"I don't know!" shouted Kevin. "He was holding off this merc…Steve, Allie's hit!"

The Manajerk's eye twitched, and for a second, Kevin thought it had turned to ice. "How bad?"

"Clean shot," reported Jexis, hastily packing gauze into the wound. "I can sew it, but not here!"

"Good. Good." Steve sounded strangely calm…disturbingly calm. "Kevin. Where's Al?"

"I said, I don't know!" shouted Kevin, his head throbbing with confusion and anger. "I DON'T-"

With a vicious snarl of rage, Al hurled the mustached loyalist into the side of a van and dashed forward, driving his fists into the man's chest again and again as his opponent gasped for breath and coughed up a spray of blood onto the Legend's trench coat. Kevin had never seen Al this utterly furious before. The former Manajerk's welder's mask now bore a splash of dark blood, and his hair was drenched with sweat. Nevertheless, he continued his unyielding attack, grabbing the merc by the throat and slamming him backwards into the dented van again and again until at last, a dull crack rang out. Panting heavily, Al stepped back and released his grip on his enemy.

His eyes open and his head lolling limply against the side of the vehicle, the officer slumped to the ground as blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. For a while, Al merely stared at him, gazing into his helpless eyes as the dying man desperately tried to form a final word. Finally, his eyes drifted shut, and a last rattling breath left his mouth as he collapsed to the floor, dead.

"Dismissed," muttered the Legend, and turned to Steve and the other Honey Badgers. "Let's go."

"R…right," the Manajerk stuttered, and glanced at the dead merc. "Al, who the fuck was that?"

Al tipped back his mask and wiped his face. "A lost man, fighting a lost war for a lost cause."

"Al, Gee sent out an evacuation order," Steve repeated, holding the door open while Kevin, Nate, and Jexis carried Allie away from the fighting. Kuri and Serge were already waiting by the open elevator, while the muffled sound of a helicopter roared overhead. "We've got a plane coming in on a collision course with Hogwash, loaded with enough explosives to flatten a city block!" He smiled coldly. "We're burying that feral nest and every loyalist in this whole damn place."

"So…how are we getting out?" asked Jexis.

"The same way we got up," shouted the blond Jerkop, and pointed to a harness line swinging back and forth inside the elevator shaft while Al jammed a piece of steel through the door handles to keep any inquisitive mercs out. "Martinez and the Hammerheads must've set up that line to get the Chupacabras in here. And now we get to use it to get the fuck out of-"

A menacing squeaking and shuffling noise sounded from the ceiling, rudely interrupting Steve.

"FUCK! GET HER TO THE LINE!" roared Al as a line of bullets impacted against the door. "Kevin, Steve, Kuri, Serge, hold them off!" Drawing his M1911 and his Desert Eagle, the Legend dropped to one knee and fired both pistols at the nearest vent, ripping apart a pair of fuzzy hedgehog larvae as they dropped squealing out of the air duct. More of the feral Sonees and Roseys spilled from the ceiling and the walls, waddling and squirming their way down the corridor toward the retreating Honey Badgers. Further along the hall, the floor itself seemed to buckle and split open, unleashing a new tide of baby chus and a single emaciated feral Sonichu. Before the adult Electric Hedgehog Pokémon could leap out of the hole in the floor, Serge turned it into a cloud of yellow fur and blood with a short burst from Baba Yaga.

Outside, the piercing squeals of Sonees and Roseys sounded through the garage, accompanied by gunfire and panicked yells as the loyalists found themselves assaulted by a tide of hungry larvae. What few EHPF officers were left alive inside could only dash forward and frantically attempt to dissuade their human allies from carrying out the systematic slaughter of every feral spilling into Hogwash from below. Those who got in the way of the furious mercenaries were either ignored or else shot on sight in the legs and left to die beneath the nibbling jaws and waddling stumpfeet of their own bastard children. The babies feasted with immense glee, devouring both human and chu, dead and alive, disregarding any screams or pleading cries from their adult counterparts as they gorged themselves on a seemingly endless buffet of flesh.

Standing back to back, the quintet of Jerkops blazed away at the oncoming swarm in a futile last stand, choking the corridors with a barricade of shredded fuzzy bodies. Even Serge betrayed his own creed, emptying Baba Yaga's six barrels down the southern hallway and shredding dozens of Sonees and Roseys into bloody mush and scraps of pink and yellow fur with every passing second. Kevin fired and fired and reloaded and fired again, his knuckles white, his teeth clenched with an indescribable rage and terror that bordered on outright insanity. The world had become a spinning blur again, a red haze of detonating flesh and shrill screams. Sonees burst apart in bloody sprays and Roseys were torn limb from limb, falling and tripping over each other until they had formed two barricades of limp, shattered bodies.

CRASH! The door shuddered as a Sonichu slammed into it in Spin Dash form. Nearly passing out from exertion, Kevin collapsed to his knees. His hands were shaking with fatigue, but still he managed to grab his last magazine and slide it into his AK-47. Glancing over at the elevator, he saw Allie disappear up the shaft, mercifully unconscious, her side heavily bandaged as Kuri and Nate harnessed themselves onto the line and jumped into the shaft one by one. With another crash, the door buckled inwards, its glass windows shattering to pieces as the Sonichu attacked.

"DOWN!" roared Steve, and heaved a single cylinder into the flood of Sonees and Roseys. In a blinding flash, a large group of chu larvae burst into flames, their skin blackening and crisping as the burning white phosphorous consumed their little bodies like charcoal. Pressing the AK-47's stock to his shoulder, Kevin squeezed the trigger and blasted a Rosey in half as it dropped from the ceiling vent, then struggled back onto his feet and switched the assault rifle down to full auto. With a furious scream, he swept the barrel back and forth through the larvae, cutting them down.

"That's it! We're clear!" Al fired a last volley through the battered door, forcing the Sonichu back as a tiny Sonee plopped down onto the Legend's shoulder. Grabbing the little chu by its bulbous head, he hurled it into the elevator shaft and chuckled cruelly as the piercing wail was swiftly silenced after a brief seven-floor fall. "Everyone on the line! PACK IT UP! LET'S GO!"

"MOVE IT!" yelled Steve. "KEVIN, LET'S GO!"

His last magazine empty, Kevin shouldered the Kalashnikov and drew his pistol, firing round after round at the new flood of Sonees and Roseys pouring in from the doorway. Serge somehow managed to strap on a harness, then vanished as the line was reeled up by the PVCC helicopter. Quickly, Steve clipped himself onto the line, and was hurriedly followed by Kevin.

"Al!" shouted the Manajerk, waving to the Legend as the line slowly ascended upwards. "AL!"

A splintering noise and a metallic shriek sounded from the door as the Sonichu crashed through. Dangling in midair, Kevin heard Al yelling something to Matt and Jexis, but couldn't hear the Legend's words over the squealing din of the Sonees and Roseys. Wasting no time, Al jumped for the rope and slid down to give the other two Jerkops enough room. Without bothering to strap herself into a harness, Jexis grabbed the rope and beckoned to Matt, who hurriedly shouldered her AA-12 and shot a terrified glance over his shoulder, then leaped into the void.

CRASH! Hogwash shuddered as a violent explosion tore through the depths of the facility. One of the generators had blown, its motor clogged by the corpse of a single Sonee that had somehow managed to get its chubby body caught in the spinning mechanical death trap. Before Kevin had time to recover from the shock, Jexis's panicked scream split the air. Looking down, he felt his breath catch in his throat as the medic lost her grip and plunged helplessly into the darkness…

"Gotcha!" Matt seized the falling girl's wrist in an iron grasp, sparing Jexis the massive indignity of becoming a human pancake. Gritting his teeth, he wrapped the end of the line around his other hand to anchor himself and swung the young medic toward a nearby harness. "Fuck! You okay?"

"Yeah!" yelled Jexis as she grabbed the line and began strapping herself in. "Oh God, that was-"

"SO…NI…CHUUUUUU!"

Ding! With an ominous hiss, the elevator doors slowly slid open. Matt only had time to draw a single surprised breath before a blinding bolt of electricity slammed into his chest with a sizzling crack, hurling the Jerkop back against the wall. Hurriedly unstrapping himself from the harness, Kevin slid down the line toward his injured friend, praying that Matt hadn't been killed by the…

"No…" Kevin's fingers closed around Matt's limp wrist, feeling the warmth fade from his squadmate's skin as the last residual charge arced away into the metal walls of the elevator shaft. The Jerkop's grip had stiffened from the immense shock to his torso, but without anything to ground him, he had received the full force of a direct Thundershock. Matt hung there, lifeless and still, gazing up at Kevin through blank, frozen eyes. As the sound of his squadmates' frantic shouts and Jexis's traumatized scream drained from the world, Kevin felt himself reach down and grab Matt around his torso, supporting the electrocuted Jerkop as he slowly looked up to see the hateful creature who had just murdered his best friend in cold blood.

Sonichu…the original Sonichu…stood at the edge of the elevator with his hands on his hips, beaming smugly at Kevin through his revolting fused eyes. The look on the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's face was nothing short of heroic self-satisfaction – a sickening grin that the Jerkop had seen all too often across the faces of the EHPF officers he and his squadmates had killed. But now Matt was dead…killed by the very creature who had given rise to ten years of chaos and suffering throughout the city of CWCville. Deep inside Kevin's heart, the final barrier shattered.

"You killed my friend," he murmured slowly, keeping his eyes focused on Sonichu.

"That's right, JERK!" The Electric Hedgehog Pokémon smirked. "Y'all are no match for my z-"

"You killed my friend," repeated Kevin. "His name was Matt Clark. And you murdered him."

"Because y'all are dang JERKOPS!" yelled Sonichu. "Y'all gave Father the stress and took away all the Boyfriend-Free Girls so that he would never find his Sweetheart from the Ground-Up!"

"His name was Matt Clark," Kevin said again, louder this time. "Remember this, Sonichu. We're going to meet again someday." He lowered his voice into a near-whisper. "We're going to meet again. You won't remember my face. But I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you, Sonichu. But before I do…you're going to know what it's like to lose the ones you treasure the most."

The rope heaved upward, and the darkness turned to light. Kevin slumped forward, unconscious, drained of his last vestiges of strength. As the Chinook carried the Honey Badgers up out of the open elevator shaft, a single cargo plane angled out of the sky and plunged toward Hogwash, disgorging a cloud of tiny figures with parachutes on the way down to its final destination.

With a shuddering screech, the nose of the immense aircraft plowed into the roof of the former water treatment plant and detonated in a vibrant burst of billowing flames, consuming the entire building in a thunderous explosion that shattered every pane of glass within half a mile of the point of origin. The structural supports of Hogwash collapsed in on themselves and burst under the stress, plunging the immense fortress of the Chandler loyalists into an eruption of black smoke and smaller blasts from the exploding C4 inside the plane's cargo bay.

It didn't take more than fifteen minutes for Hogwash to crumble, but by the time the dust clouds had begun to settle, the damage was already done. Beneath their tomb of shattered concrete and steel, forty thousand Sonees, Roseys, Sonichus, and Rosechus lay crushed, burned, eviscerated, and broken in the ruins, dwarfing the thirty-seven Jerkops, sixty-three loyalist mercenaries, and two hundred and four EHPF officers who had given their lives in the Second Battle of Hogwash.

Far beyond the ruins, surrounded by his exhausted, grieving squadmates, Kevin Shaw drifted in and out of the void of his own mind, with only an array of dark thoughts keeping him company.

---

August 17, 2008, south CWCville, Slum District, Slumberland, Honey Badger barracks

One day after the trial and execution of the Asperpedia Four

"Captain's Log, Stardate Apri-sorry, August 17th, 2008," Christian Weston Chandler announced from the television screen. "I am, uh, making this message today to talk abou-address certain actions on my part, and also as an apology to those who I have, uhm, wronged. Firstly, I had previously announced to y'all dat tha four trolls of da Asperpedia who had been found guilty of wanting to and MURDERING Simonla Rosechu in cold blood had been essacuted by dose dey had wronged. Yeah, uh, dat was a lie. Wh-what actually hap-what actually took place was dat tha judge felt dat alternative sentancin' was in order an' he sent dem ta' live with dere relatives on an Amish farm, wh-where dey couldn' slander my good name on tha Internet no more. So, uh, dere you go with dat."

The Mayor flashed a self-assured smile – an expression that quickly transformed into a frown in the next couple of seconds. "Now with dat outta tha way, dere's somethin' I wanna tell those trolls at tha PVCC." He reached up and dramatically removed his glasses. "JUST QUIT IT ALREADY! YOU COWARDS, YOU DARE NOT FACE ME IN A REAL FIGHT BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'LL BRING JUSTICE TO YOUR TROLLIN' STUPID WAYS!" He panted exaggeratedly. "IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU TO DEPRIVE WILD SONICHU OF HIS HEARTSWEET, NOOOOO, YOU HAD TO GO AND BREAK MY BALLS AGAIN AND SEND YOUR COPYRIGHT INFRINGING DECEPTI-CLONE ROSEY TO STEAL ALL MY-" He paused. "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! WHEN I SEE A DICK, I JUST LOOK AWAY, WITH A MOMENT OF BEING FREAKED OUT, AND THEN I IMAGINE MYSELF SWALLOWING THA GAY THOUGHTS AND DISSOLVING THEM IN MY STOMACH ACID!"

The screen shifted in a jump cut. Chris's rant had ended. "Y-y'know what? You're all hypocrites! All I ever hear from any of you is just COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN. LOOK, tha system I have set up for y'all-it is SIMPLE. Tha Soup Hotels have plenty of food for all of y'all—it is all free, and it's not like dey're hard ta find. Dey can even help ya find jobs! Y'all would hafta be slow-in-tha-minds ta not get it! So GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG SKULLS ALREADY!" He punched the camera, prompting another jump cut. "At least I can ta-I can find some solace in tha fact that tha PVCC is practically defeated, an' dat dang Jason Kendrick Howell got sent ta' hell where he belongs! It doesn't even matter dat ya killed all dose ferals in dat essplosion 'cuz I KNOW that mosta your Jerkops were un-brainwashed! I'm goin' ta keep saying what I've been sayin' for the last two or three years—y'all only pick on tha poor ferals because you're too WEAK to go after anythin' else! It doesn't even MATTER dat that dang Decepti-Clone Rosey got her dang hands on my original plans for 14 Branchland Court, because y'all are WEAKER THAN WATER and could NEVER hope ta kill anythin' dat's livin' dere, esspecially since dey're still bein' guarded by tha original Sonichu and Rosechu!"

Chris smirked at the camera. "C'mon, I dare ya ta try! I know y'all ain't got tha individual BALLS and GUTS ta do it, cuz you're just a buncha dang cowards!" He leaned back and sighed. "To everyone else, peace an' have a good day."

"We all lost something on August 9th," Steve Morrison addressed the Honey Badgers in a soft, bitterly calm voice, pocketing the remote as each Jerkop placed a struggling Sonee or Rosey inside a large wooden coffin in the center of the barracks. "Every man and woman in this squad endured it together. We fight as one. We suffer as one. And when we die, we die as one."

Working quickly and efficiently, Al and Serge placed a wooden cover over the box and moved from corner to corner and along the edges, nailing the cover down and sealing the baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon inside. Little muffled cries and thumping noises began to emanate from the coffin, as the panicked baby chus beat their pathetic armstubs against the unyielding wood. Without a word, the two Jerkops lifted the box, carried it outside of the barracks, and set it down on the grass beside a second coffin, made from steel, which held the body of Matt Clark.

Steve turned to Allie. "Burn it."

As Kevin and the other Jerkops watched in silence, Allie lowered Trogdor and squeezed the trigger. Hungry flames leapt into the surface of the wooden box, consuming and spreading and licking and eating away at the wooden prison of the trapped Sonees and Roseys.

"I just want everyone to know…" continued Steve as the blazing flames flickered in his eye and the screams of dying larvae filled the air, "that this…is only the beginning." He stepped forward and gazed into the fire, at the gold plate upon which was carved In Loving Memory – ZOEY FRANCESCA. "We came here as citizens. We were forged into liberators." His eye narrowed to a cold blue slit. "And now, we rise from the ashes of our fallen comrades…as destroyers."

Kevin glanced up at Jexis, who was bravely fighting back tears. In his mind, a mantra played. It had been pounding through his mind since the moment of Matt's death, since the moment he had looked Sonichu in the eye and made his solemn, unbreakable vow of vengeance.

You're going to know what it's like to lose the ones you treasure the most.