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To love is to destroy, to be loved is to be the one destroyed- Jace from the Mortal Instruments

This, to me, is fitting. I loved him, I still do, and I think that he loved me too. Why else would he do what he did? But then why did he leave me?

He destroyed himself because he cared for me, and he couldn't take it. I loved him, but how is it that I was the one to kill him? And because he loved me too, it killed me as much as him when he left.

If love is a destroyer, why do we let ourselves love in the first place. Is it something we have a choice in the matter of, or are we helpless to it's cruel clutches?

Even now I continue to love and even now I continue to tare them down.

Is it really love if I know this and do nothing to push them away? But it hurts to push them away, too. If it hurt to be close to them and hurts to be away from them, then how can anyone survive in this life?

Is it wrong that I want them to love me and therefore, break me even more?

I can't find it in me to care anymore.

Still crumbling,

-Scotty

I lean luxuriously against the rail of my back deck, cancer stick dangling from my fingers.

The sky is grey with the oncoming night and I let myself breathe in the cool air that is mixed with the smell of smoke.

I hold my breath for as long as I can before letting all the pollution from my lungs out in one long puff. Already the stress of the day is pealing off my shoulders as I go into a sort of high.

My mind goes into a welcome giddy state as I take another long drag and swirl the wisps around on my tongue. Again, I let it pass my lips in an exhale.

A creak on the wood beneath me alerts me to another's presence and I turn my head slightly to see her in saddened shock.

A crooked smile breaks across my face. "Heeey."

She leans against the rail next to me wordlessly.

I turn back toward the forest and take another pull from my cigarette.

"You know, smoking can give you cancer."

I shrug. "Let me die of it for all I care. 'Life sucks, and then you die.' It's one of my favorite quotes."

She reaches out, to snatch it away maybe, but I jerk instinctually and she burns her finger. "Shit, sorry." I catch her hand as she goes to put it in her mouth, and gently pull it away. "Don't put a burn in you mouth. Your mouth is hot and will just make it burn more."

I move away and come back a minute later with a bowl of ice water that I set down beside me as I move to sit on the steps overlooking the small woodland area.

Miley follows as I put the stick to my lips again.

"My mom died of cancer last year. That's why we moved; to get away."

I shoot a glance at her before letting out one more puff of smoke and flicking the rest of the offending stick to my feet and crushing it there.

"People say that someone is going to be the death of them, well you just might be the one to save me."

She bumps her shoulder into mine. "That's a good thing right?"

I just stay silent and let her take it however way she wants.

"How did you get in here?" I ask after the silence drags on a little too long.

"Oh, um..." Her cheeks color a bit. "No one answered when I knocked so..."

"You just decided to let yourself in to a home that no one it home to? I don't know, sounds kind of stalker-ish to me."

I smirk as her cheeks go even darker. She clears her throat. "So where is your mom anyway?"

"Work. She's there so much that I wouldn't even know that she still lived here if it wasn't for the constant restocking of beer in the fridge."

She hesitates. "Your dad?"

"Dead." I shrug.

She doesn't apologize like someone normally would, and I'm glad. I don't need hers or anyone's pity. Just like she probably doesn't want mine.

She pushes her ice turned water bowl, away and scoots closer so out legs and shoulders touch. Like a spark over gasoline, a fire lights in an intense heat where she brushes me and spreads its way to my stomach where it pools. My skin suddenly goes into hyper awareness.

I swallow hard as she sets her hand on my thigh in silent comfort.

"So Miley Ray-" Did she just shiver? Is she cold? I run into the house, grab a blanket, and drape it over her frame before a question can pass her lips. "-I told you a secret of mine when we first me, now you get to tell me one of yours."

"One of my secrets, hmm..." She leans against me as she thinks. "I don't really have any secrets." She tells me. For some reason, I believe her. "So how did the rumor that you have slept with half the school come from?"

"I don't really know; people are just idiots. It started slowly I think. The first guy I dated wanted to sleep with me but I said no and broke up with him. He told his buddies that we slept together anyway and about how easy I was. Then I guess the next guy felt to embarrassed that I said no to him when I'm so easy, so he lied too. The girls I've been with as well, telling their friends that we've slept together and eventually it made its way around school. It didn't help that I flirted with almost everyone and didn't deny any of the claims."

"I put on my cocky smirk. "So I guess that's how it happened."

"Why didn't you deny it?" She asks softly.

"Because there's no point in denying it. There is no lose or gain from people thinking that I sleep around." I say keeping my eyes focused on my hands as the try to uproot a weed that had grown through the old steps.

"What about your own self worth?" Her eyes are that intense stormy color again.

"Self worth? I've never had any of that."

She is so quiet that I think that she must not have heard me. But then her hands go to either side of my face and my eyes lock onto hers. They are a piercing angry green that hold me captive. I wouldn't be able to look or pull away if I wanted to.

"I don't know what has happened in your past, but you are not worthless no matter what you or anyone else might think. You are important and good and you better not ever think differently or lower of yourself."

Heat floods my face and I fight desperately to get back into control. I have never wanted to kiss someone as much as I do right now.

I lick my lips and close my eyes because I can't look at her as I tell her my next words, nor do I have the strength to pull away.

"It was two years ago." I whisper. "But it started years before that. I had a brother, he was older by a year. His name was Mathew, but every one called him Matt. My dad, he uh-" My voice wavers. "He beat us. Mom didn't know; he never hit our faces, only our arms, legs, bodies. Stuff that could be covered up.

But two years ago, he didn't stop after I fell unconscious. I started coming back around when I heard yelling. Matty was standing in front of me, he wouldn't let him touch me anymore. Dad got mad and grabbed a knife." As I speak, the images flash through my mind like a movie. Miley's breathing hitches next to me but I don't stop my story; I need her to know.

"He tackled Matty and they fought; I couldn't see anything or move. My head hurt so bad. Then they both just stopped moving and blood was pooling around them." My body had started to shake but I don't realize it until I feel one of Miley's soft hands that still cups my face, gently stroke my cheek.

"I could smell the blood and taste it, od cooper and metallic; some had splattered in my mouth, or maybe it was my own. Then my dad rolled off him, but Matty was the one to stand up. He had blood all over him but I could clearly see the knife sticking out of my fathers chest.

My mom walked through the door right then." My breathing has become labored and now I'm gasping.

Miley continues to stroke my cheek and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Where's your brother?" She softly prompts and I still. My eyes finally flick open and I stare her right in her ever-changing eyes as I tell her the last past, the part that hurts the most.

"He couldn't handle what he'd done, he wasn't a killer. A week later I found him in our bathtub. I thought he was messing with me so I grabbed his wrist only for me to touch something wet and sticky. No matter how hard I scrubbed, the blood wouldn't come off."

Miley's eyes flash down to my bandaged hands and back to my face. I give a weak smile.

Suddenly her smell and warmth wraps around me as she hugs me tightly. "Are you okay?" She murmurs into my neck.

I blink stupidly. Am I okay? No one has ever asked me that before, it's always 'sorry' passing their lips, never asking of my well being.

Throughout the entire recounting of the story, I had refrained from sheading a single tear, but just that one questioned sends tears spilling from my eyes like a waterfall.

"No." I mumble and pull her closer so I can nuzzle her neck easier as the salty water cascades down my face.

She just hold me, stroking my hair as I cry into her neck till way past nightfall.

Finally, I pull away and together we stand up. My heart had calmed down but is now once again racing, but for a completely different reason.

"Stay with me tonight?" My usual cocky tone is reduced to nervousness and insecurity.

"Of course." She smiles.

I lead her up to my room and strip down to my underwear before crawling into bed. She hesitates before following my lead and soon her bare legs are tangling in my own and she's pulling our bodies closer.

My skin sears where we touch and I fall asleep to the uncomfortable squirm of my stomach.

The softest pair of lips brush along my neck and nip at my collarbone to coax a moan past my lips, and they are very much successful.

Her finger tips leave a trail of fire as they run along my naked sides, and as her head dips lower to the valley between my breasts, my back arches as another moan is dragged from deep in my throat; her hot breath fanning over my feverish skin.

Her long hair tickles my skin as she glances at my face and I can't take it any longer- her slow pace in torturous.

So I grab fistfuls of her precious locks and bring our lips together with bruising force. I need her so badly right now.

I run my tongue over her willing lips before delving into her mouth that harbors a liquid flame.

Her tongue burns almost painfully against my own and the only way to put out the heat, is to have more of her.

Her nails dig deep into the hollows of my hips and the feeling of desire is so intense, that I can't help but throw my head back and gasp out her name.

"Miley!"

I jolt awake with my heart racing and skin burning, the feeling of the ghost of her touch still digging into the skin of my hip. Miley lays with her back to me and my entire torso is pressed into her from behind as our legs are tangled together and my arms are wrapped securely around her waist.

The area between my legs throbs demandingly and I groan.

How can a dream turn me on that much?

I pull myself from her body and get out of bed only to realize that I'm still in my underwear when the cool air hits my overheated skin. That also, unfortunately, brings the image of Miley also in her underwear in my bed, which does nothing to help my problem.

I breath in the early morning air deeply and comb my fingers through the rats nest that has become my hair.

Twenty minutes later, and my body still hasn't returned to it's normal temperature. Not with Miley just sleeping there half naked and in my bed.

She stirs slightly and reaches out along the covers but her search comes up empty.

She sits up sleepily. "L-Lilly?" She yawns saying my name and it's just so cute that it makes my heart race. "What are ya doinn?" She blinks up at me suddenly wide-awake.

I feel my cheeks burn as she rakes her eyes over my exposed body and I quickly dive into the converse, suddenly very self-conscious.

"Well," I say putting on my flirt smirk in an attempt to scrape up some of my dignity that I lost the night before. "I had a very hot dream and waking up to a half naked girl clutching onto me when I myself am half naked, is not a good way to cool off."

She scoots closer so our bodies are touching again and our faces are inches apart.

"Are you cooled down?" She asks lowly as she trails her fingers down my stomach.

I can't stop the large shudder that rakes my body.

"Thanks to you, no. Maybe you could help with that? But a fair warning, if you continue to do what you are doing right now, I will not be able to stop what I'm doing until after I've had my way with you." I say still keeping up the farce.

"Maybe that's exactly what I want." She whispers moving her lips inches from mine. I feel my stomach coil and send a large throb straight to between my legs.

"Fuck!" I curse and shove myself away from her and fall off the bed.

She's laughing so hard and happily. "You're right-" She wheezes out. "It is fun getting someone so flustered. And I can't believe you actually got so hot and bothered. I think your skin was actually burning me."

"You're a fucking tease, you know that?" I stay on my spot on the floor, gasping and trying my best to revive my poor overworked heart. I try to stand back up but my knees buckle. "Fuck." I once again curse as her laughter fills my ears.

"I can't believe I had that much of an effect on you!" I have to give her a smile. Who wouldn't be able to with her laughing so happily like that?

"Then you have no idea of the effect tat you can have on people." I join in a little with her laughter.

Her eyes are slinking into different shades of blue and green, swirling and changing so fast that it sends my mind reeling.

I've never seen anything like them.

If love it to destroy, and to be loved it to be the one destroyed, then please god, let her break me and tare me to rubble. Let me fall under this girl's hand.

Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you think! Please leave a review of your thoughts.

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Thanks again.

-Fantasy