CWCollateral: A Tale of the Resistance

by Manajerkop

Chapter 14: The Song of Angry Men

February 24, 2009, west CWCville, subdivisions, 14 Brunchville Lane, 8:47 p.m.

The day was absolutely terrible; a great loss for CWCville by far.

Outside of the blazing house, the large crowd lingered. Men, women, children, and chus silently stood watch, shivering in the chilly night air as dozens of EHPF squad cars, several True Blue transport vehicles, a fire truck, and an ambulance assembled one by one in front of Sonichu and Rosechu's former home. Though the blaze had long since been extinguished by the fire control teams, the damage was done, and no amount of denial could change the fact that everyone in the vicinity now knew the awful, wonderful truth of what had transpired in 14 Brunchville Lane.

Rosechu and her babies were dead. That much was obvious. Over fifty witnesses had seen a hysterical Sonichu crushing the last remnants of Robbie Sonee into a tiny bundle of bones and burnt flesh. Unnoticed by the dozens of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon grieving around them, a few young children were delightedly rooting through the snow for blackened pieces of the dead baby chu to keep as souvenirs. Most of the non-chu residents of Brunchville Lane in the crowd had suffered at least some form of torment because of Robbie and his sisters, the most recent form of which had been getting rammed by their little go-karts at full speed. Needless to say, spirits were high…at least among the humans.

"WHY GODJESUS, WHY?" screamed a Rosechu, falling to her knees and weeping pathetically as her husband tried to comfort her.

"It's okay, Ann; we'll get through this," the Sonichu assured his wife, draping his arm around her.

"The babies…" another Rosechu gasped, still unable to accept what had happened to the original Sonichu family. "Those beautiful little babies…all dead…"

"We will find who did this!" insisted one of the EHPF officers, raising his gloved hands to calm the hysterical Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. "And we will bring those jerks to CWCville justice!"

Just then, a familiar face emerged from the front door.

"Hello dere, my faithful CWCitizens," Christian Weston Chandler greeted the assembled crowd. The Mayor's face was drenched in sweat and stained with splashes of orange, as was the rest of his flabby body. It was anyone's guess as to what had actually happened inside the house, but the original Sonichu was nowhere to be seen, no doubt grieving over his butchered family. "I, uh, I am pleased to tell y'all dat tha evidence of Rosechu an' her cute little children bein' dead has been falsi…falsa…not true. Um, tha homos dat attacked tha house 14 Brunchville Lane an' dat WEAK LITTLE JERKOP DEVIL, THA NOTORIOUS TROLL KEVIN SHAW, have attacked dis city an' ALL of tha CWCitizens with dere HEINOUS an' HORRIFIC attempts at slander. Well, I will not stand for dis, an' tha Chaotic Combo are on tha way here right now ta-"

"Mayor Chandler!" A woman stepped forward from the crowd, her blond tresses ruffling gently in the cool winter breeze. "Mayor Chandler, Greta Squall with FQX News! Can you give us a statement? If the Sonichu children are still alive, then where are they? Who kidnapped them? Was it the PVCC? How do you intend to respond to this act of terrorism? Mayor Chandler?"

"I…uh…I…" Chandler glanced around the crowd, then let out a short sigh and straightened his glasses. "I will be giving an official speech on dat same issue at tha Shopping Center later."

Squall's eyes narrowed. "Mayor, the city needs to know the truth! Are the children dead or not?"

"NO!" screamed the Mayor in a sudden fit of rage, jerking his arms up spastically. "Dey most certainly are NOT! As a matter of fact, I helped ta SAVE one of tha Roseys!"

Hope flashed across the faces of the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon in the crowd. If one of the beloved babies was still alive…

"And which one?" continued Squall, advancing on Chandler as her camera crew and the other reporters moved in on the stuttering mayor. "Was it Christine or Cera?"

"What does it matter?" growled a bitter, weary voice, seemingly out of nowhere. "She's gone."

In a flash of purple light, Magi-Chan Sonichu materialized in the snow and promptly collapsed to his hands and knees, shuddering weakly as blood trickled from his eyes, his nose, and the corners of his mouth. Stunned by the sudden arrival of the most powerful member of the Chaotic Combo, the crowd drew back a few feet, while Chandler waddled over to examine the purple Sonichu. Magi-Chan didn't seem to have suffered any external injuries, but his fused eyes were severely red, and appeared to pulsate in time with his heartbeat. Swollen veins stood out across his forehead and down his face, as if an immense quantity of blood had just rushed into his head. Unable to stand, he could only kneel in the snow, drenched with sweat and gasping for air as his tortured body swiftly pieced itself back together.

"Now, uh, what in GodJesus's name happened ta you, Magi-Chan?" asked Chandler quizzically.

The Sonichu raised his head and looked upon his superior's flabby face, glaring at the Mayor through a baleful pair of yellow bloodshot eyes. "Unfinished business…Father. A loose end."

"All right, dat is good, den." Chandler smiled and patted Magi-Chan on the shoulder. "Now dere, Magi-Chan, tha city of CWCville needs your help! See, Christine Rosey an' Robbie Sonee have been kidnapped by tha Kevin troll, an' I need you ta find dem so dat tha Combo an' Sonichu an' I can zap to tha rescue!"

Magi-Chan squeezed his eyes shut and wiped a hand across his face. "Believe me…Father…I would like nothing more than to help you…save the children. But there is another matter that needs attending to first." His fingers curled into a fist. "A much more pressing matter."

The Mayor sighed again. "Magi-Chan, tha, uh, tha matter of tha children is more p-, is more, uh, I need you ta use your psychic powers ta find dem an' make tha stress go away…"

"I can't find them, Father," snarled the purple Sonichu, levitating off the ground a few inches as the crowd of bystanders watched in shock, "because they're dead. I warned you not to provoke the rebels, but you didn't listen. I warned you that they would try and attack the Sonichu family, but no, you just had to keep taunting them, didn't you? Do you understand now, Father? They're all dead because you couldn't keep your fat mouth shut about the PVCC. This is all your fault."

"NO, I DID NOT DO DIS GOD DAMN IT!" screamed Chandler, flailing his arms at Magi-Chan as his face turned beet red. "Dose HORRIBLE JERKS at tha PVCC sent dat Kevin troll ta kidnap tha Sonichu bay-bees an' try ta give Sarah, uh, Cera Rosey tha Prickly-Wicklies!" He puffed himself up and crossed his arms, then turned to face the cameras, a smug expression of pride on his face. "But dat evil Kevin Shaw did not expect dat I, tha Mayor of CWCville, would save Cera Rosey! You got dat? Huh? Huh? Let dat be a lesson ta you an' your TROLLMATES!"

"Oh, you utter simpleton," muttered Magi-Chan, and disappeared with another flash of light.

"Mayor?" Greta Squall asked, stepping forward as two Roseys beside her bawled and clung to their father's legs in fear. "Mayor, what did Magi-Chan mean? Are the children-"

"NO I AM DERE CREATOR AN' DEY ARE NOT DEAD!" The Mayor plunged his hand into his pocket and withdrew a yellow and blue cell phone with a Sonichu logo crudely painted on the back, fumbling with the device as he tried to open it up. As the reporters around him burst into a cacophony of yells and shouted questions, he hurriedly backed away and cupped a greasy hand over the receiver to shut out the noise. "Uh, hello, dis is Christian Weston Chandler, tha May-."

"Mayor," replied a cool female voice from the other end of the line. "It's been a while."

"We almost thought that you'd forgotten about us," a second voice, this time from a man, added.

"It's not like you to simply throw away such talent, Mayor," continued the woman. "Especially in these oh-so-troubled times. And here we are, languishing away with nothing to do."

"Unless, of course," the man chuckled knowingly, "you actually need our help for once."

"I, I do need you ta help me with tha trolls," mumbled Chandler as a painful rumbling built in his abdominal region. The crowd's yelling was giving him too much stress. Any further stress, and an embarrassing accident would be unavoidable. "I, uh, I want y'all ta find dat Kevin JERK!"

"Mayor…we're going to need more than that."

"Surname, height, weight, hair color, eye color, sexual orientation, family, significant others…" suggested the man. "Address, middle name, recent activities, pets, favorite food, occupation…"

Chandler sighed and removed his glasses with one hand, then wiped them off on his dirty striped shirt. "Can you wait a…uh….can you hold on a minute?" He placed them back on his face. "I do not know what you're…if y'all can just tell me why you can't just find tha Kevin Shaw troll…"

"Shaw. Good. That's a start," remarked the woman. Over the line, the Mayor could hear a hurried tapping of keys. "Kevin Shaw. Very good. Cross-analysis points to one confirmed Kevin Shaw in the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, assigned to the Honey Badgers Jerkop squad. Looks like your guy. Last assignment was…Operation Hedgeclipper, an initiative to…heh…to assassinate Cera Rosey, Christine Rosey, and Robbie Sonee. Looks like a complete success."

"Well, dat is where you are WRONG!" shouted Chandler. "An' I want you two ta go an' rescue tha little Sonichu bay-bees from dat JERK Kevin Shaw before he can turn dem into HOMOS!"

"Well, Mayor," the man replied with infinite patience, "I'm sure the children are…fine. In fact, we'll get all three of them back safe and sound. But I'm afraid this operation will be rather cos-"

"All two of dem!" the Mayor insisted proudly. "As y'all know, I saved Cera Rosey!"

"You'll have to excuse us, as we had no clue that you did that. We're not psychic, you know."

"But in any case," continued the woman, "we can bring you the Shaw boy, dead or alive. I must warn you - it will cost you dearly, Mayor. Your butcher's bill is running high enough as it is."

Another long sigh escaped from Chandler's throat. "Ohhhhhkay. Just, uh, go talk ta Miss Allison or Miss Rocky about tha money stuff. Peace." He closed the phone and looked over his shoulder to see Sonichu staggering out of 14 Brunchville Lane with a single Post-It Note clutched in his gloved hand. The yellow Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's face was gaunt, pale, and stained with vomit, while his body trembled violently with every single movement. If Magi-Chan had been in a pitiful state, Sonichu was ten times worse than what his psychic comrade had suffered. A large measure of life force seemed to have been sucked out of him by whatever he had experienced during his period of unconsciousness.

"F…Father…" he choked, as rivulets of drool ran down his chin from the corners of his mouth. "Father…where is Cera? Wh…where is my daughter?"

"Now, uh, don't you worry about dat, Sonichu," Chris remarked consolingly. "Cera Rosey is safe with me, an' she's getting all better now. An' furthermore, we're gonna find tha other bay-bees, Christine Rosey an' Robbie Sonee, who were both kidnapped by dat HEINOUS TROLL Kevin Shaw! OOOOOHHHHHH!" He stomped his foot in the snow, accidentally crushing a blackened cluster of bones that had once been Robbie Sonee's pelvis, and raised a flabby arm to shake his fist at the sky. "Well, we will not stand for dis, Sonichu! We will make dat troll Kevin Shaw pay for tha kidnapping an' dat nasty note! Justice will be done!"

"Kevin…Shaw…" Sonichu's fused eyes squeezed shut, and his lips drew back to reveal gritted teeth. The piece of paper crumpled as he clenched his fist around it. "Father…I…I know him."

West CWCville, Lower West District, near KCWC Studios, 8:55 p.m.

The Battle Bus rumbled steadily toward the cacophony of distant gunfire, its spiked tires crunching across the thick blanket of snow that covered the streets of CWCville. The massive vehicle wove its way through the sparse traffic of the west side like an armored yellow shark, creaking and groaning under the weight of so many of the Sonichu family's former possessions.

The Honey Badgers and Heather Iglesias sat together in the foremost seats, while the rear and the middle of the bus had been packed to the brim with hundreds upon hundreds of toys and video games, electronic appliances, books, clothes, jewelry, DVDs, packages of food, kitchen utensils, tools, Rosechu's computer, a flat-screen TV, four PS3s, five Wiis, Sonichu's extensive trophy and medal collection, and even the two tiny go-karts that SUZI had stolen from Robbie and Cera. Currently, the former nanny, Kuri, and Steve were sorting through and organizing the piled loot, while Sugarplum Fury and SUZI chased each other through the heap of stolen goods. Up at the front of the bus, Serge, Jexis, and Nate had broken out a round of victory Smirnoff shots.

Kevin sat beside Allie, running his fingers through her hair in the midst of the celebration, his entire body numbed by a strange mix of shock and intense satisfaction. The events of Operation Hedgeclipper still resounded through his mind, particularly Cera's piercing screams as the CWC Orange Soda bioweapon invaded her chubby little body. Whether Chandler had actually given her the "treatment" he had recommended in the note remained a mystery. Only time - and nearly two and a half hours' worth of footage that the Honey Badgers had collected for Vivian Gee and the other Miscreants - would tell. But at the moment, it was the last thing on Kevin's mind.

"We did it," he murmured in Allie's ear. "We did it. We killed them. We killed them."

"Keep saying that," whispered the Jerkop, and snuggled up closer to him. "I want to hear it all."

"We…just killed…the Sonichu children…and Rosechu." Kevin's voice trembled with joy as he spoke. His heart rate was skyrocketing with every word, and his emotions were locked in a state somewhere between disbelief and elation. "We killed Christine and Robbie and Cera. We shattered Chandler's Heart Level. We started the revolution. We did this."

"And nothing of value was lost!" roared Al as Serge, Jexis, and Nate clinked their shot glasses together. "To Christine Rosey! She died as she lived…as 'pwetty' as maggot-infested roadkill!"

"Interesting choice of words, Al," commented Steve as he extracted a pink My Little Pony jacket from a pile of clothes and examined the label. "Heather, this one's for a Jennifer…Jenny Green."

"Si, Señor Morrison," the Latina woman replied, checking her notebook for the family and a list of what the Sonichu family had taken from them. "Stolen on…December 13th, I think. Yes."

"Right then." Steve accepted a full glass of vodka from Serge. "To Robbie Sonee! He died as he lived…as fast as a frozen Shuckle! Burn in hell, you fuzzy yellow pile of shit!"

"To Cera Rosey!" Kevin added, laughing with unrestrained glee as he imagined the little pink furball struggling and suffocating inside Chandler's rectum. "She died as she lived…uh…"

"Honestly, something tells me that I don't even want to know what you and Jexis did to her." Nate downed his Smirnoff and winced, then patted the Ziploc bag in his pocket that contained Rosechu's severed fingers and her wedding ring. "So, they're all dead. Now what do we do?"

"Chandler, Sonichu, and the Combo aren't just going to let this go," muttered Al. "We're gonna see some serious retaliation from the chus and loyalists after word gets out about Hedgeclipper. It might be a good idea to lie low for a while…just wait at KCWC until the admins call us up."

"Fuck that." Steve grinned. "That was fucking brutal. Can't we go kill some more homebreds?"

"After that?" The Legend chuckled. "Once the video goes up, every operative from Wilderness to ChinaTown is gonna try and top what we just did. I'd be surprised if there were even any homebreds left in the city by tomorrow. Anyway, we've still got a fair bit of work to do."

"Right." The blond Jerkop raised a small piece of paper and squinted at it with his good eye. "Here's what we got, trophy-wise. Rosechu's clothes, Christine and Cera's clothes, Rosechu's fingers and wedding ring, Christine's eyes, Robbie's feet…"

"Mmm…" Kuri sighed, smacking her lips at the delicious memory of the Sonee's fried flesh.

"Wish we'd taken a few more trophies from Cera, though," mused Steve, and glared at Kevin and Jexis. "Seriously, guys, you could've at least cut off her tail or something…"

"Huhhh…huhhhhhh…HUUURRGGHHHH!" An electronic gagging noise sounded through the Battle Bus as SUZI landed next to the Legend, opened the storage compartment in her head, and ejected a pair of orange-stained, bloody Rosey ears and a stubby pink tail onto the seat.

"Thanks, SUZI," growled the Jerkop as he carefully picked up the pieces of fuzzy pink skin with tweezers and dropping them into a Ziploc bag. "That'll be enough for the ultimatum. Now we-"

"…get the wounded back in here!" Patrick Ryan's panicked voice crackled through the bus's PA system as the vehicle crossed into range of the PVCC radioman's besieged assault force. "Zero, where the fuck is the- AAAAAAGH! GODDAMNIT! FUCK! ZERO, KURT, GET TO THE-"

"KCWC Assault Lead, this is Honey Badger Command!" Al shouted hastily into his own walkie-talkie, adjusting the frequency to match that of Ryan's as he pulled the Battle Bus around a sharp corner. "Ryan! Ryan, it's us! We're inbound on the station, one minute out!"

"GET OVER HERE!" Ryan roared in intense pain. The familiar report of a Colt Python revolver sounded through the static-laden chaos, followed by a rustling noise and panicked voices yelling nearby. "No! No, get off me, I can still walk! Ledger, they pushed us all the way back to the station and they're tearing us apart! WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?"

"Oh, son of a bitch," snarled the Legend, and stomped his boot down on the gas pedal, flooring it. The Battle Bus's engine roared as it shot forward through a packed intersection and rammed a pair of minivans out of the way. Up ahead, the streets danced with blinking red and blue lights – the telltale sign of a police blockade around KCWC Studios. Distant pinpricks of light flashed across the snow-covered battleground as sporadic gunfire mingled with dozens upon dozens of electric attacks from the attacking Sonichus. Whatever Ryan and his makeshift army had been doing, it was certainly drawing a fair amount of attention from the EHPF.

"Here!" Drawing Origin, Steve tossed the black revolver to Heather with one hand and slid his XM8 out of its shoulder strap with the other. "Kuri, stay with Heather! Everyone else, load up!"

Kevin hurriedly grabbed his AK-47 and jammed the barrel through the firing slit by his seat as the other Honey Badgers took up defensive positions around the bus. Al was plowing straight through car after car, shoving the surprised civilians aside with the Battle Bus's forward plow as the armored vehicle barreled forward. Every impact sent a colossal tremor through Kevin's body, and if he hadn't been seated, he might very well have lost his footing. Allie checked her pistol and vaulted over the seat in front of them, claiming the next firing slit for her own.

"This is fucking insane!" she yelled back to Kevin as the bus smashed into the rear of a white sedan and pushed it onto the sidewalk. "Fuck! Arceus, Al, don't tell me you're drunk right now-"

"INCOMING!" shouted Steve, drowning out Allie's words. "FIRE! OPEN FIRE!"

"HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!"Al slammed his fist against the horn as Serge shoved Baba Yaga's six spinning barrels through the large opening in the reinforced windshield. With a screeching crunch of metal on metal, the Battle Bus plowed into the blockade like a runaway freight train, ripping a transport van in half and impaling another car on the front of the plow. Kevin was hurled into the back of Allie's seat, but managed to pull himself back up just in time to unload his Kalashnikov into a surprised EHPF officer's head. The stricken chu collapsed across the front of an adjacent cruiser in a splash of blood, his cheekspots gushing sparks.

A harsh crackling sound burst across the front of the armored bus as a group of Sonichus fired Thunder Wave attacks into its forward hull, but to no avail. Clutching the wheel in an iron grip, Al gunned the engine and continued right through the second line of EHPF cruisers. The terrified chus scattered instantly, dashing away to seek shelter from the hail of bullets spraying out in all directions from the inbound vehicle. The front of the bus crumpled like a piece of foil as its damaged plating fell away, exposing its smoking engine and an array of rusty machinery.

Kevin lurched forward without warning as one of the Battle Bus's tires exploded with a loud bang, punctured by a sharpened piece of steel wrapped in barbed wire. Seconds later, the other front tire burst and collapsed in a shower of rubber scraps. Driven onward by momentum alone, the massive bus smashed through part of the barricade as Al desperately fought to regain control. They were heading straight for the main entrance of KCWC, directly toward a cluster of men and women packed together behind a crude wall of metal barrels and assorted debris.

"AL!" roared Steve, struggling to keep his footing as the bus shuddered from another impact on its already damaged front armor. "AL, TURN IT AWAY! TURN IT AWAY!"

"EVERYONE BRACE!" shouted the Manajerk, and yanked the steering wheel as hard as he could to the left. With a sound like a cannon blast, the Battle Bus's engine exploded outward in an oily plume of flame, belching smoke into the air and utterly destroying the front of the damaged vehicle. If not for the bulletproof windshield, Al might very well have been severely injured or killed by the blast. Toys and clothes toppled down from the massive piles in the rear of the bus in a landslide of stolen possessions, and it was only through sheer luck that the entire thing failed to tip over. As Kevin, Allie, and the other Honey Badgers and Heather held on for dear life, the front end of the burning, broken Battle Bus smashed through the side of KCWC Studios, taking out an entire section of the wall in a shower of plaster, sparks, and wooden struts.

Kevin collapsed out of his seat with a loud groan, shakily forcing himself to keep breathing. Considering what had happened over the past few hours, he wouldn't have been surprised if he'd suffered a series of elaborate heart attacks there and then. On the whole, though, he hadn't sustained anything more painful than a few large bruises on his forehead, arms, and knees. Oddly enough, he could have sworn could hear music playing outside the bus on an endless loop, the song "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel.

"You okay?" Allie emerged from her seat, dizzy from the impact. Reaching down to Kevin, she grasped his hand and helped him off the floor. "I think…we must've crashed into the station."

"Yeah…we did…" groaned Kuri as she and Heather dizzily made their way toward the front of the bus, where Al, Steve, and Serge were in the midst of recovering from the impact. "That…was probably the best entrance we've ever had."

"Anyone hurt?" Jexis asked, glancing around the crashed vehicle for signs of injury. "Al, Serge, you guys okay?"

"We're good." Al wrenched the side door open and nearly fell out, collapsing to his hands and knees onto the singed carpet of KCWC's recording studio. "Damn it…oh God…no we're not."

"Al…Al, it's okay," Steve panted reassuringly as he and Kuri stepped out ahead of Heather and Nate to join the Manajerk. "We can fix her later. Al, come on, it's not that bad…"

"Oh, fuck." The Legend sank to the floor dejectedly, nearly sobbing out loud at the sight of his half-destroyed Battle Bus. "Fuck…I wrecked her. I did this to her, Steve. I did this…"

"Yeah, and you also destroyed about twelve EHPF cruisers," Kevin stated bluntly, and stumbled out into the studio. "It was the only way through, Al. Come on, Ryan's gotta be here somewh-"

SLAM!

"And it's about fucking time you guys showed up," snarled Patrick Ryan in immense pain as he limped into the room, clutching his bleeding, bandaged left arm. "Thanks for the distraction."

"No problem." Steve stepped forward, grinning in surprise at the Colt Python revolver clutched in Ryan's good hand. "Holy shit, you've still got it. How's it working for you?"

The radioman chuckled sadistically and pointed across the room. "Ask them."

The Honey Badgers looked up and collectively gasped in shock. The mutilated bodies of Jamsta Sonichu and Lolisa Rosechu lay side by side across the recording booth, surrounded by dark splashes of blood and two large fuzzy blue objects that appeared to be the DJ's severed ears. Both of the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon had been stripped of their clothes, and Jamsta's crotch and throat were both drenched in blood. A burned stump of flesh was all that remained of his genitals, and the detached pickle itself lay several feet away in a small pool of blood next to a Zippo lighter. A wireless microphone had been stuffed into his rectum, and his entire throat had been torn out. Next to him, Lolisa lay sprawled on her back, her fused eyes wide with terror and staring up at the ceiling. She had been shot cleanly through the head, most likely to finish her off after whatever tortures Ryan and his associates had inflicted upon her and Jamsta.

"Jesus Christ," breathed Al as he and his squad approached the pair of dead chus. "When did-"

"Right after we hit the station," explained Ryan. "I found them in here, trying to send out a call for help to the EHPF. Guess they succeeded, but, well…" He laughed. "It didn't really matter."

Grinning with joy, Allie stepped forward, lowered Trogdor's muzzle to the severed pickle, and torched it, setting the repulsive piece of flesh alight. "That's better."

"Agreed." The radioman sank into one of the interview chairs scattered around the room and let out a pained sigh. "We finally managed to seal the main entrance after you hit the blockade. It's not going to hold out forever…but all I need is enough time to get the station back online and start broadcasting across the city. They shut off power to KCWC after we got inside, but Zero's trying to charge the backup generator manually. Vivian's going to stream the video, right?"

"Yeah." Al knelt down and picked up SUZI from where the little robot Rosey had been happily jabbing Lolisa in the eyes with her stub-blade. "You can use our LIESA unit as a conduit."

"Here, let me have a look at your arm," Jexis offered, and unbuckled her medical kit from the strap on her belt. "Al, Steve, I'm gonna stay and get him fixed up, if that's okay."

"Sounds good," replied Steve. "Kevin, Allie, Serge, you're with me. We'll try and buy Al a little time to set up SUZI. Nate, find a sniping spot and cover the approach. Kuri, Heather, stay here."

"What?" Kuri asked confusedly.

"Wait, Señor Morrison, I can-"

"No, he's right," added Al. "Miss Iglesias, we're gonna need help unloading the Battle Bus. All the stuff we took can go in here until we figure out what to do. Ryan, can you spare anyone?"

"Yeah." The radioman grabbed a walkie-talkie from a small table beside the recording booth and raised it to his ear. "Kurt, send five or six men to the studio room – we've got Jerkops coming to back you up."

"Fucking Christ! Get them to the front, now!"

"Copy that." Ryan turned to the Honey Badgers. "Find the guy in charge - his name's Kurt Wyczawski. Here, I'll give you his frequency." He held out a hand as Steve handed over his radio, then hurriedly punched in the channel and passed it back. "Okay, that's it! Go! Go!"

The Jerkop nodded and beckoned to Kevin, Allie, Nate, and Serge, then dashed out of the room as half a dozen hobos hurried in to assist Heather and Kuri. Al placed SUZI on the bloody control panel and plugged her USB tail into a matching outlet, allowing the combat drone to access the entire mainframe of the radio station. Once the Miscreants had finished recording and editing their "call to arms" video, she would act as a little Wi-Fi device for streaming their broadcast. And since Chandler had so foolishly made sure that Jamsta and Lolisa were placed in charge of all of CWCville's radio and television services, this meant that the PVCC now had unlimited access to every single form of media that the chus had formerly controlled. Assuming that everything was ready on time, the last broadcast of R-PAT was scheduled to begin at 9:35…

…exactly five minutes into Christian Weston Chandler's big speech at the Shopping Center.

KCWC Studios, forward defense line, 9:07 p.m.

Kevin slammed into the wall between two men in tattered trench coats, nearly cutting his arm on a jagged piece of steel in the process. As bolts of lightning arced toward the besieged radio station, he propped his AK-47 against the windowsill and fired a 40mm grenade directly into the hood of a parked EHPF cruiser. The explosion tore through the chassis with a deafening bang and a shower of flying shrapnel, forcing a few adjacent Sonichu officers to seek shelter elsewhere. The Jerkop couldn't tell if he'd actually killed any of the chus, but it didn't matter. All that he, Allie, Serge, and the remaining hobos needed to do was delay the advance.

In the time since the Honey Badgers had left for their landmark assassination mission, KCWC itself had been converted into something that looked like it belonged in the Battle of Stalingrad. Small fires and the whirling lights of police cruisers illuminated the besieged radio station, revealing a scene of chaos unlike anything Kevin had been expecting. Windows had been shattered all along the front of the building, and crude barricades of debris and barbed wire surrounded the station on all sides. Dozens of furry yellow bodies hung tangled in the wire, remnants of the EHPF personnel who had been caught in it in their haste to reach KCWC and rescue Jamsta Sonichu and Lolisa Rosechu. Across the battlefield, dozens more men and women, all clad in faded, filthy clothes, lay dead and crumpled in the streets, their bodies scorched by electric attacks or shredded by bullets.

The battle had cost Ryan's army dearly, but now that the Jerkops had arrived, their odds were beginning to even out.

"Secure the windows! GET THE WINDOWS!" shouted Steve, and smashed the nearest one with the stock of his XM8. A blistering Thundershock from outside immediately sizzled through the opening, missing the Jerkop's face by less than a foot. "Allie, Serge, Kevin, set up a triangular screen covering the front door! Get a blockade on the entrance and those windows!" He raised the assault rifle and fired off two long and very inaccurate bursts, then grabbed his radio and squeezed the call button. "Wyczawski! Kurt! KURT, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"What? Who is this? Where's Ryan?"

"FUCK!" Steve leapt backward and switched his walkie-talkie's channel as a blast of electricity connected to the reinforced window crossbar. "NATE, FIVE 'O CLOCK! PUT HIM DOWN!"

CRACK! CRACK!

Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin saw a Sonichu fall dead, blood pouring from a massive hole just above its fused eye. The second shot slammed into the side of a cruiser and rebounded into another car's engine, resulting in a black plume of smoke from the ruined vehicle's hood.

"Good shot," the Jerkop snarled as he switched back to Kurt's channel. "Kurt, come in. Kurt?"

"Here! Over here!"

Kevin looked towards the source of the yell to see a group of hobos clustered around a makeshift wall of wooden planks that had once been the front door, firing shotgun blasts through the cracks and openings in the scorched boards. Several men and two women lay dead around them, their skin charred and their hair standing on end from the electric attacks that had ended their lives. A fat man stood behind the defenders, waving furiously to the Jerkops. His arms bore several bloody cuts, and his face had grown flushed and sweaty from several hours of brutal combat.

"Ryan said you're in charge!" yelled Steve as he and his squadmates ran forward, sidestepping a pair of hobos who were carrying an injured woman to safety. "You're Kurt Wyczawski, right?"

"Yeah, that's me." The man wiped his dirty face with his sleeve, then spat a teaspoon of blood onto the floor. "Who the hell are you, kid?"

"Steve Morrison, Honey Badgers. We just crashed an entire school bus into the station." Steve pointed to the front door. "Serge, set up Baba over there! Kurt, where do you want us?"

"Anywhere the chus are!" snapped Wyczawski as he frantically slid shell after shell into his Mossberg. "Is it true? Did the PVCC really kill the pink slut and her spawn just now?"

"Yeah," panted Kevin, and pushed a fresh grenade into the AK's underslung launcher. "We did. We killed all three of the babies and Rosechu herself. And we got video of the entire thing."

"Mother of God…that was you?" The former mall Santa's angry voice immediately gave way to one of genuine admiration. "Well, let me just…" He glanced over his shoulder, out the window, and hurriedly waved to another group of hobos clustered around a metal tube that had been propped up against one of the windows. A cage of wailing, bloody homebred Sonees and Roseys stood beside it, along with a box of mortar shells. "ANOTHER! GIVE 'EM ANOTHER!"

THUNK! The tube kicked back in a puff of smoke, launching a screaming Sonee out the window towards the advancing Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Before any of the adult chus could react, the airborne baby struck one of the fallen barricades and exploded, instantly killing one of the EHPF Sonichus and blasting another one's arm into ribbons of bloody meat. Enraged at the death of their comrade, the chus fired back with a wave of Thunder attacks, but the majority of them merely sizzled out against the wood planks, leaving only burn marks. Further up the line, several of the barriers had been set alight, while the surviving hobos fought to extinguish the flames.

"They've been cutting us to pieces all night," growled Wyczawski. "I swear, I thought we were all gonna die before those Fighting Irish guys managed to get the mortar through the blockade. Zero's out, too - he took a few rounds rescuing Ryan."

"Zero?" asked Kevin.

"Zero Sonichu. Ryan adopted him as a Sonee after he won the Carnival of Carnage."

"I'm not even gonna ask." Steve reflexively reached for Origin, then cursed when he realized he'd left it with Heather Iglesias. "Dammit. Okay, Kurt, we're gonna divide up this defense and take 'em on piece by piece. Arceus, let's just hope they don't bring in any Shoc-"

"Don't…even…say it," Allie warned, cutting the Jerkop off before he could finish.

"Wait, how did Ryan get shot?" asked Kevin. "We didn't see any mercs on the way in."

Wyczawski shrugged. "They all packed up and left the chus behind. Hell if I know what reason."

"That's strange." Steve hurried to the nearest window and knelt beside it, scanning the field of burning police cruisers, bodies, and debris with his good eye. "Why would the loyalists just-"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

An electronic shriek of feedback sounded across the streets, as if some kind of massive megaphone had just been switched on. For a moment, Kevin wondered if the chus were going to just try another laughably ineffective attempt at negotiating with the defenders. It was their usual strategy – announce to their enemies that they had them surrounded, insist on the fact that all of the Sonichus and Rosechus in CWCville were straight, and so on and so forth.

"Didn't they already try to get you to surrender?" Allie asked, glancing at the hobos curiously.

"Yeah, right after we told them Jamsta and Lolisa were dead." Wyczawski scratched his head. "Maybe they're gonna try and see if we'll ransom them. Naïve sons of bitches."

"Wait." Steve held up a hand. "You guys hear that?"

Kevin strained his ears, attempting to listen past the roars of gunfire and crackling electricity. There was something else in the background, something that almost sounded like…

…reason, never need a rhyme!
Step in time, you step in time!
Kick your knees up!
Kick your knees up, step in time!
Kick your knees up, step in time!
Never need a reason, never need a rhyme!
Kick your knees up, step in time!

A cold chill spread across Kevin's face, reaching down to the tips of his fingers as the Mary Poppins lyrics grew louder and louder around him. Far away to the east, what appeared to be a large blue armored vehicle rolled down the street toward the radio station, surrounded on all sides by a squirming mass of garishly-colored blobs. At first, the Jerkop thought they might have been tanks, but the transports didn't appear to be packing any weapons at all. Instead of cannons or machine guns, two racks of large subwoofers had been mounted along either side, and were now blasting the Mary Poppins soundtrack to the swarms of feral Sonees and Roseys following them, like a nightmarish mechanized version of the Pied Piper.

"What…" whispered Allie in astonishment.

"That's why the mercs retreated," Kevin murmured. "They're weaponizing the ferals." A sudden revelation struck him. "Oh, God. They're going to force them into KCWC."

"Spread out!" roared Steve. "Get to the barricades and hold them back! Kevin, send out Frank!"

His heart pounding in fear, Kevin reached for his belt, wrenched the Poké Ball off, and pressed his finger against the activation button to prime the device. Taking a few steps back, he hurled the red and white ball into the air. "GO, FRANK!"

"AAAAARBOK!" The purple snake Pokémon materialized in a flash of light, hissing angrily as it uncoiled itself and slithered back to join Kevin. Licking the air with its forked tongue to scan for scents, it glanced toward the distant rumbling and let out a hungry snarl, recognizing the familiar sounds and smells of wild Sonees and Roseys.

As the Honey Badgers rushed to the windows to defend the line, the oncoming horde of baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon waddled toward their inevitable destination, squeaking and cooing happily and doing their best to sing along with the hypnotic tunes guiding them onward. A sea of fuzzy bodies filled the streets of CWCville, tripping, stumbling, and devouring anything edible in their path. Garbage, cockroaches, rats, and even stray dogs stood no chance against the ravenous swarm, and even though a few of the infant chus clumsily tripped and were messily squished beneath the heavy treads of the True Blue baiter tanks, the waddling horde never once wavered or slowed. The dead, crushed babies were quickly and efficiently set upon and devoured by their comrades, stripped down to tiny bloody skeletons in a matter of seconds while the rest of the Sonees and Roseys continued on after the alluring melody of "Step in Time".

Up on the railing, step in time!
Up on the railing, step in time!
Never need a reason, never need a rhyme!
Up on the railing, step in time!

West of CWCville, beyond the city wall, location unknown

His head was spinning. The last thing he remembered was Chris stabbing him with a hypodermic needle, and a searing pain in the center of his chest. Then the world went black, and a piercing cry of agony echoed through his brain. The daemon in his mind had vanished into nothingness, leaving behind a weak shell of a man, devoid of the power that Reldnahc had granted him.

Groaning, Naitsirhc opened his eyes to see something large, blurry, and pink sitting below him. He felt as if his wrists and ankles had been tied to a cross, and when he tried to pull himself out of the uncomfortable position, he simply couldn't move them, as if his limbs were held fast by some kind of rope. After a few minutes, he gave up trying to break them. In his weakened state, he couldn't do much more than lie there and wait for his vision to clear.

"Sey!" cried the fat pink blob. Nait cringed away in revulsion, wondering why on earth Chris would have imprisoned him with a Rosey. Maybe it was some kind of torture that Magi-Chan or Bubbles had cooked up specially for him…or maybe it was all part of one of Chris's stupid plans to "re-integrate" him, perhaps by forcing him to take care of the abomination for the rest of his…

"Sey," repeated the Pokémon. "Blis…blis…sey!"

Relieved, the wounded man collapsed backward as the Blissey climbed up on top of the bed. She was carrying a bowl of water in one arm, and a moistened towel in the other. The nurse Pokémon seemed to have been wiping the blood and pus away from the raw rope-burns on his ankles while he had been in the coma. Looking up at him, she smiled sadly, almost as if she was relieved to see him awake. Looking closer at his caretaker, Nait noticed that her body was dotted with large clusters of dark, bloody bruises. She looked as if she had been severely beaten, numerous times.

"Who…did this…to you?" Nait asked weakly. His throat was incredibly dry, and it was almost impossible for him to get the words out.

"Sey… Blissey..." the Blissey answered quietly, pointing to a framed picture sitting on the stand beside the bed. A young girl's smiling face stared out at him – the face of someone he was all too familiar with, and yet had never thought would be capable of such an abhorrent level of cruelty. But at the same time, she was still the same person who had gained an unnatural obsession with him, ever since their breakup so long ago...

"Kel?" he all but screamed in surprise. He could never imagine the girl ever doing something so cruel to such a sweet, gentle creature as a Blissey, let alone any Pokémon at all. Nait had always known Kel as someone who would care for her Pokémon unconditionally, and would admonish him every time he had been even the slightest bit hard on his Nidoking. Even the slightest hint of him toughening his treatment had earned him a severe tongue-lashing from the girl. Now, he was staring at a wretched, broken Pokémon, its spirit shattered, its body covered from head to toe in hideous bruises. And if Kel hadn't inflicted those injuries…then who had?

No matter how hard he had been to any his Pokémon, Naitsirhc had never done anything that would cause that kind of trauma to any of them…except, of course, Blake Sonichu. And even then, even before Blake had abandoned Team Rocket in favor of Bubbles Rosechu, it had only been because the insolent chu had talked back to Giovanni and had been an all-around dickhead to the operatives working under his father's command. Why would Kel ever have…

BANG!

A loud gunshot rang out inside the cabin, snapping the young man out of his thoughts. To his right, a tallish figure stood in the doorway, clad in a pink shirt and short denim cutoffs with a smoking pistol clutched in its hand. It didn't take many guesses for him to realize who it was.

"What the hell are you doing, Kel?" he yelled at his former girlfriend, frozen with anger and fear.

The girl said nothing. Calmly, she walked over to Naitsirhc's bed and stood there, staring down at him blankly. Kel's eyes were completely hollow, as if the spark of joy and life they had once contained had faded away into nothing. Her face held a flattened expression, and her knuckles had turned white from gripping her sidearm too tightly. She looked more than ready to fire off another shot into whatever or whoever she had decided to kill or injure. Blood dotted her clothes and skin, obviously from a previous victim, and, judging by the rotten smell emanating from the girl's clothes, perhaps they had originated a few days ago. It was as if she had been transformed into a robot, like a Stepford Wife, only much more murderous.

Kel's gaze immediately turned to her ex-boyfriend's frightened face, and a painfully fake smile etched its way across her lips. Her eyes remained empty, but he could see something horrifying beginning to form from the darkness within them.

"Ah, Nait, it's been so long since we saw each other!" the girl chirped in an overly-saccharine voice. It sounded artificial, too…like it had been programmed into her by a machine.

"Kel, what's going on? Why am I tied up? What happened to your Poké-"

SMACK! A large red welt flared across Naitsirhc's cheek as Kel slapped him and drew back in disgust. He saw a flash of total rage melt into her face, before it vanished in the same instant.

"Oh Nait," Kel giggled coldly. "Always asking so many questions about nothing! I always loved you for that!"

"How…" The man stared in horror as the crazed girl's words echoed in his head. He lay there in shock, feverishly attempting to form enough words to reply through his parched throat. "How many times…do I have…to tell you…Kel? I'm…not…I'm not your…your fucking boyfr-"

"YES YOU ARE, NAIT!" Another flare of anger erupted from the young woman's cheery façade. "YOU ARE MINE, JUST AS GOD AND JESUS PROCLAIMED!" Pain shot through Nait's wrists as she grabbed him roughly by the front of his harness and yanked him forward. He couldn't help but let out a pathetic whimper of pain as the ropes dug and burned against his raw, reddened flesh. "And you are NOT a HOMO!"

"Blissey!" Kel's Pokémon shouted at her trainer, frantically tugging at her shirt to make her let go. She just had to do something…she couldn't allow the ailing human to be hurt again.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND, YOU WHORE!" the deranged girl roared as she swung her fist into the nurse Pokémon's face, sending it to the floor with a sickening thud. Thick tears began to fall from the Blissey's eyes as she attempted to right herself, but Kel was on top of the Pokémon in a flash, beating her with an insane cruelty that few trainers had ever witnessed. All Nait could do was to watch in horror as the scene of obscene violence unfolded before him.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Kel raised herself over the battered body of her Blissey, sneering down hatefully at the crying Pokémon. Hatred dripped from her eyes, and suddenly, she smiled. A truly ghastly expression etched itself into her face…one of pure, cold evil.

Silently, she raised her pistol and pressed it against her Pokémon's curly head.

"Kel, what are you-" Naitsirhc started to ask, before a sickening realization slammed into him with frightening strength. "NO! KEL, DON'T! DON'T HURT HER!" He screamed and sobbed, hoping that for one microsecond that she would snap out of it and spare the poor Blissey…

His words fell upon deaf ears.

BANG!

West CWCville, Lower West District, KCWC Studios, front entrance, 9:23 p.m.

Step in time, step in time!
Step in time, step in time!
Never need a reason, never need a rhyme!
Step in time, you step in time!

"It's gonna be okay, Frank," murmured Kevin, petting the Arbok's scaly head as it let out an angry hiss and bared its vicious fangs at the squeaking tide of feral Sonees and Roseys waddling straight toward the KCWC studio. "Don't worry, big guy. We'll try and save a few for you."

"I wouldn't be too concerned about saving any of them," Allie stated nervously. She had shoved Trogdor's mouth through a large hole in the wall to give herself a full sweeping arc of fire, but even the monstrous flamethrower seemed as if it would be woefully ineffective compared with the might of the feral swarm. "Steve! How much longer?"

"The announcement starts at 9:30!" yelled the Manajerk, and glanced down at Sugarplum Fury, who by now was bristling up and nearly frothing at the mouth. "Seven minutes, give or take!"

"We'll be fine," Kevin insisted, and reached over to squeeze Allie's shoulder. He wasn't even sure if he believed his own words, but morale among the hobos was low enough as it was. The last thing Ryan, Wyczawski, and the other defenders of KCWC needed was the Honey Badgers losing their nerve. Looking over his shoulder, he couldn't help but wonder how on earth the radioman's ragtag army had survived for so long with so few weapons. True, they had a distinct advantage with the presence of Ryan's chu comrade and the Fighting Irish guerrillas, but Kevin was still impressed at their resourcefulness, enthusiasm, and motivation.

Of course, that motivation had just been wiped out with the arrival of the True Blue baiter tanks.

Beyond the sea of barbed wire, barricades, and bodies that littered the streets around KCWC, the two armored vehicles rolled onward, leading their flocks of overjoyed chu infants straight toward the besieged radio station. Paying no regard to the nearly impassable gridlock of EHPF cruisers or the uniformed Sonichus waving at them, both of the tanks simply smashed the vehicles out of the way and plowed headlong into the battlefront. Their fuzzy followers poured after them, squirming through the obstacles with squeals of joy and hunger. A few clumsy babies tripped and fell straight into deadly clusters of barbed wire, struggling and shrieking in pain as the razors pierced their fragile skin and cruelly tore them apart. Their hungry comrades waddled on, only pausing for a few moments to feed on a few of the trapped and dying larvae.

"Kurt, we need those tanks dead ASAP!" shouted Steve, gesturing frantically toward the pair of approaching vehicles. "For fuck's sake, please tell me you guys brought some RPGs!"

"We barely had enough ammo to even get inside this place!" Wyczawski growled as he hurried over to the makeshift mortar to direct its crew. "I thought you guys had all the heavy weapons!"

"Not enough to take those things out!" Kevin reflexively jerked the barrel of his AK to the left and fired a short burst toward a distant flash of yellow. The Sonichu retreated, scared but unhurt. "Fuck! They're gonna roll right over us! Nate! Nate, can you take out the drivers or something?"

"No can do! I can't even put a dent in these things! Where the hell did Chandler get them?"

"I don't think Chandler had anything to do with this…" muttered Allie. "What do you think th-"

The Mary Poppins music cut out abruptly, and for a moment, Kevin wondered if something had gone wrong with the baiter tanks' speaker arrays. The Sonees and Roseys stopped, babbling and whining in confusion as the massive vehicles ground to a halt thirty yards away from the KCWC front entrance. Across the battlefield, the EHPF Sonichus continued firing shock attacks into the besieged building, only to be met with deafening shotgun blasts and bursts of AK-47 fire.

"Insurgents of KCWC!" a familiar voice, amplified as if by a megaphone, sounded through the night sky. "Your rebellion is at an end! We have you outnumbered! Surrender immediately and release the prisoners Jamsta Sonichu and Lolisa Rosechu, or suffer the consequences of eternal punishment in Hell!" The announcer paused. "And if the blasphemous PVCC trolls who kidnapped Rosechu and her poor helpless babies are in there, you had better prepare yourselves to face the justice of the Lo0rd! Let them go unharmed and GodJesus will be merciful!"

"Angelica…" breathed Kevin, tightening his grip on the Kalashnikov. Beside him, Allie quickly switched Trogdor's feed valve up to BURNINATE and drew a deep breath. Not counting the time skip, it had been almost a year since they had last encountered the White Reaper, and even if Angelica Rosechu had the same facial recognition problems as Chandler, she would certainly remember the young Jerkop who had set her on fire and nearly killed her back in 2004.

"Everyone stay down. I'll handle this." Steve stepped up to the window, but before he could, another deafening, much more intimidating voice blasted across the street-turned-battlefield.

"They're both dead, you sanctimonious whore!" Patrick Ryan shouted, projecting his voice through the KCWC on-site address system that he had managed to commandeer. "You back for more, Angie? Come and get it! We've got Jerkops now, you dirty slut! Yeah, that's right, bitch! We're gonna kick your furry ass all over this-"

"HERETIC TROLLS!" shrieked the Rosechu. "FIRE! KILL THEM! KILL ALL OF THEM!"

THUNK! THUNK! One by one, the baiter tanks jerked backward as trails of white smoke arced out of them. Before Kevin could realize what was happening, a football-sized steel shell burst through the ceiling, slamming down into the floor and nearly taking an injured man's leg off. Three more of the projectiles smashed into KCWC, accompanied by clouds of plaster dust and showers of debris as the Jerkops and hobos instinctively scattered in all directions.

"Sugar, up!" ordered Steve, and held up a fist to signal his squadmates while the terrified honey badger scampered up onto his shoulder. "Kevin, Allie, Serge, regroup on me!"

"We've got to hold them back, Morrison!" shouted Wyczawski furiously. "There's not enough-"

"They're gonna rip the whole building down!" Kevin yelled, hastily withdrawing Frank back into his Poké Ball and grabbing his walkie-talkie. "Nate, get off the roof!"

"HOLY FUCK! ARCEUS! AAAAAAH!"

Kevin froze in his tracks, nearly slamming into the wall as his brother's pained cries sounded from the walkie-talkie. "NATE! NATE! WHAT'S WRONG?"

"I can't fucking move! The roof's…AAAAAAGGGGHHH!"

A deafening crash rang through the building. Looking around in shock, Kevin let out a scream of horror as an entire segment of the east wall buckled and collapsed inward on itself, burying an unsuspecting group of seven hobos in an avalanche of rubble and drywall. With another colossal shudder, one of the building's support columns toppled and plunged through the side of KCWC as more broken planks and brickwork rained down on the panicked men and women within.

"NATE!" Kevin shouted desperately, lunging toward the shower of debris as if his brother would somehow be able to hear him above the grinding and crunching of shattered rock and timber. "NATE, WHERE ARE YOU? NATE!"

"KEVIN! KEVIN, WATCH OUT!"

A pair of hands fastened around each of the Jerkop's arms, heaving him backward and dragging him to safety just before a massive chunk of concrete smashed against the carpet. A moment or two later, and it would have utterly crushed him to death. Struggling, Kevin felt himself topple over onto his back and hit the ground, taking his rescuers down with him in a dusty heap.

"Ow, fuck…" one of the strangers groaned, her voice hoarse and strained. "Kevin, you okay?"

"I'm fine." Kevin pushed himself off the floor and turned around to see who had saved him, his mind racing with worried visions of Nate injured or dead. "Thanks for the…HOLY SHIT!"

"Hey, don't act so surprised, kid," growled George, smiling determinedly as he and Missy June helped each other up and brushed off their dusty brown trench coats. "I told you we'd be here for Judgment Day. Your friend Mr. Ryan certainly knows how to throw a revolution party, that's for damn sure." He patted his shotgun affectionately. "And those Irishmen, too. Damn decent folk."

"Arceus, am I glad to see you!" The Jerkop dazedly embraced his old friends, and for a moment, Nate's plight was temporarily forgotten. "George…Missy…it's happening. We're finally doing it. Rosechu and the Sonichu children…they're dead! They're all dead! We killed them tonight!"

"So it's true," muttered Missy June, and nudged her husband playfully. "Told you. Five bucks."

"Not until I see some physical proof," George retorted. "Those damn babies all look alike."

"Kevin!" Steve dashed over to his squadmate and slid to a halt as the building rumbled again. Serge and Allie arrived on the scene a mere two seconds later. "Kevin, where's Nate? Did he-"

"Oh, shit." Kevin raised his radio and clicked the call button. "Nate? Nate, say something!"

"Hey, little bro." Nate sounded hurt and frightened, as if he was trying to hold back tears. "Aw, fuck…Arceus, Kevin, my foot's all fucked up and…" His voice fell to a panicked whisper. "It's her. She…she's up here with me… Please…Kevin, please…get me out…get me out of here…"

"Hold on!" Kevin shouted. "Nate, hold on, I'm coming up!" He glanced back to Steve, his voice shaking with resolve. "Steve, Allie, Serge, you guys stay here! I'm gonna get him out of there!"

The Manajerk nodded quickly. "Serge, set up Baba to cover the entrance once they breach it. Allie, lay down a firewall on my mark and-"

"No!" Allie retorted. "Kevin, you're gonna need help! Angelica's-"

"That swarm's headed right for us," snapped Kevin. "And you've got Trogdor. Allie, please."

"Arceus!" The young woman gritted her teeth and looked hurriedly back toward the oncoming swarm of feral chu larvae. "All right, we'll wait right here. Kevin, please just don't…"

Before she could even finish her sentence, Kevin had vanished into the stairwell, racing up toward the roof as fast as he could. George and Missy June hesitated for a moment, then dashed after the Jerkop.

"…take too long," muttered Allie, and glanced at Steve. "Call Jexis – Nate's gonna need some serious medical attention when they-"

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE!

The besieged studio exploded in a high-pitched shriek of feedback as each of the specialized shells launched from the baiter tanks activated its miniaturized internal subwoofer, blasting the Mary Poppins lyrics through the collapsing structure at a near-earsplitting volume and striking a deep and terrible fear into the hearts of every hobo and Jerkop barricaded within.

VOTES FOR WOMEN! STEP IN TIME!
VOTES FOR WOMEN! STEP IN TIME!
NEVER NEED A REASON, NEVER NEED A RHYME!
VOTES FOR WOMEN! STEP IN TIME!

Outside, the victorious cheers from the attacking EHPF officers quickly turned to screams of terror and pain and desperate pleas as the squeaking, cooing swarm of larval chus enveloped them in a tidal wave of fuzzy bodies. Wet ripping and gnashing sounds from the hungry babies quickly drowned out the Sonichus' high-pitched death cries, and one by one, the adult Electric Hedgehog Pokémon fell to the ravenous appetites of their offspring. Within seconds, the entire assault force had been overwhelmed and messily devoured by the feral swarm, or else had barely managed to survive the feeding frenzy by Spin Dashing their way out through the mob, shredding several dozen ferals to pieces in the process.

"SONEEEEEE!"

"WOSEY!"

"SEEEEEEEEEEY!"

"OH, FUCK! OH, FUCK!" Steve yelled, stumbling backward as the shrieking horde of Sonees and Roseys surged through KCWC's half-destroyed entrance, churned into an absolute frenzy by the deafening lyrics and music pounding through the building. "FIRE! OPEN FIRE!"

KCWC Studios, rooftop, 9:25 p.m.

Breathing rapidly from his rapid ascent up four full flights of stairs, Kevin burst through the door and was promptly greeted by an icy blast of air. The Mary Poppins soundtrack was still playing below, albeit somewhat muffled due to the distance and the sounds of panicked yells and frantic gunfire from the ground floor. At least there were no packs of hungry ferals up on the roof.

Instead, he was going to have to deal with something much, much more terrifying.

WHOOSH! A shadow shot by overhead, and Kevin barely glimpsed a flash of white feathers as Angelica Rosechu flitted from rooftop to rooftop, watching like a hawk and joyfully twirling her sickle around and around as the vicious battle for KCWC played out beneath her.

Kevin wasn't exactly looking forward to another confrontation with Angelica. The last time the two of them had met, the white Rosechu had nearly decapitated him, and only the timely arrival of his squadmates had spared him the indignity of ending his life in a Feeding Day pile. Then again, Angelica had had a full squad of EHPF officers to back her up. Now it was just her, him, and an injured Nate. And as luck would have it, she hadn't even spotted the Jerkops yet.

"Nate," he whispered into his walkie-talkie as he hurriedly took cover behind a large metal air duct protruding from the building. "Nate, I'm on the roof. Where are you?"

There was no answer. Urging himself not to panic, the Jerkop waited until Angelica had moved on, then rose to his feet and sprinted to the edge of the collapse on the east side. A sizeable chunk of the roof had caved in on itself, weakened by the bombardment, and now part of the entire uppermost floor lay in ruins. Looking down past the wreckage to the ground below, Kevin could see that the two baiter tanks had stopped firing, but it didn't matter too much anymore. The carpet of garish fuzz was sweeping through what had once been the defensive lines of KCWC, converging on the radio station even as gunfire from inside chewed through their ranks. Even with the Honey Badgers backing them up, there weren't nearly enough defenders to stave off such a huge swarm. He could only hope that Al and Ryan and the rest had managed to unload the Battle Bus and call the PVCC for help. Chandler's broadcast was only minutes away by now.

"Kevin! Hold up!"

Surprised, Kevin whirled around to see George and Missy June running across the rooftop to join him. The two hobos looked completely out of breath, and considering their age and the amount of stairs up to the roof, it wasn't hard to see why.

"Did you find him?" panted Missy June, and peered over the edge. "Whoa. George, look."

"Yeah, I see," George replied dismissively. "We've gotta get back down as soon as we find your brother, Kevin. Those little bastards just broke right through the front door."

"I'm going down." Gritting his teeth, Kevin heaved his AK-47 to Missy June. "Hang on to this!"

"Thanks!" The woman gratefully snatched the weapon out of the air. "Watch yourself, kid!"

Easier said than done, Kevin thought to himself as he carefully lowered himself over the edge and dropped down onto a large chunk of rubble. He didn't like the thought of leaving his old friends behind with Angelica out for blood, but they'd chosen to come along to help him, and there was nothing he could do to change that. And in any case, his top priority was saving his brother…assuming Nate was even still alive. Much as he wanted to deny it, the odds of surviving a collapse of this scale weren't exactly good.

Another chilly breeze swept across the roof, hurling clouds of white dust into the night air. Kevin shivered and raised a gloved hand to shield his face from the cold. At least it wasn't snowing. The last thing he needed was even more aerial cover for the airborne white-furred Rosechu.

And speaking of Angelica…

WHOOSH!

"I am still circling above KCWC, Christian!" the elite Electric Hedgehog Pokémon announced out loud as she soared past the collapsed rooftop and spread her wings to hover. Kevin quickly crouched behind a large chunk of concrete and held his breath, hoping that she wouldn't see him or George or Missy June. "I do not know why the True Blue did this; the babies are being killed in there and the brave Sonichu police are all gone! Please, Father, tell me what is happening!"

Kevin couldn't hear the Mayor's response, but whatever it was, it seemed to confuse Angelica even more.

"I…yes, Christian, I agree; but you specifically told us to find Rosechu and the children! Those poor innocent babies are dying! I cannot stand idly by and watch as the servants of Satan butcher my helpless little lambs!" She paused, then adjusted something on her head. "What? Who?"

Peeking out of cover, Kevin could barely make out the small black shape of a headset attached to one of the Rosechu's pointy ears. It was common knowledge that the Combo communicated by means of Magi-Chan and Chandler's telepathy…but who would they be talking to via radio?

"On the roof? A troll?" Angelica asked loudly, and whirled around in midair before the Jerkop could even think of diving for cover. A wicked grin spread across the Rosechu's face as her fused eyes locked on to something just out of Kevin's sight, and the silver sickle gleamed in the myriad of streetlights from below as she raised it threateningly towards her target. "Well well…"

Oh, fuck. Not Nate.

Laughing with vicious glee, Angelica folded her wings and dove, hurtling down through the air. Without even bothering to look where he was going, Kevin leapt forward, stumbling and sliding down the slabs of debris in a panicked rush to save his brother. There wasn't enough time. The flying Rosechu had a colossal head start on him, and even if he'd had a pair of wings like her, there was no way he could possibly reach Nate in time-

BOOM!

Shocked by the thunderous report, Kevin nearly tripped over the edge into empty space, saved from death by a twisted piece of steel cable that caught his arm as he fell. His shoulder and face slammed against the jagged rubble, and a fiery burst of pain spread across the front of his chest, but apart from those problems and a heavy rush of dizziness, he was otherwise unhurt.

Angelica, on the other hand…

"AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! HERETIC! YOU F-ING HERETIC!" screamed the Rosechu as she flapped backwards, clutching the bloody cluster of wounds across her left leg, thigh, and abdomen from where the shotgun blast had impacted. The small buckshot cuts were already sealing shut, but it was clear that the pain of the injuries hadn't been diminished at all by Angelica's innate healing ability. Kevin's mind abruptly flashed back to the massacre at 14 Brunchville Lane, to the piercing screams of Cera Rosey as her Orange Soda-infused body tore itself apart and reformed again and again. If the Chaotic Combo and the other "original" Electric Hedgehog Pokémon all possessed this same rapid regeneration factor…

"We've been waiting years for that, you furry slut," snarled Missy June as she and George appeared on the edge of the roof. Both of the hobos had their weapons trained directly on Angelica's chest. "Come on. Let's see how well you fly when we clip your wings, little birdie."

The Rosechu let out a scream of laughter. "Fools! You cannot kill a true servant of the Lo0rd! GodJesus is always watching over His beloved servants! The claws of the Holy Bear will strike you down!" She spun around in the air, whirling her sickle in anticipation of the bloodshed to come. "Let us see how you fare against the pure and holy might of Christian justice!"

"You really believe in all that bullshit, don't you?" George chuckled and racked a fresh shell into his Mossberg. "Heh. You're gonna be in for one hell of a wakeup call. Tell me…where was GodJesus when your weak little coward of a boyfriend got himself sliced into-"

"YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Racked with vengeful fury at the memory of Reginald Sneasel's death, Angelica drew back both of her wings and flapped forward, launching herself through the air, directly toward the two hobos. A flash of metal pierced the darkness as her feathered wings hardened into sharp blades – her infamous and devastating Steel Wing attack.

"Get him out of here, Kevin!" yelled Missy June as she and George opened fire simultaneously.

Wincing against the throbbing pain in his torso, Kevin struggled to his feet and nearly collapsed again when he realized what had happened to his brother. Nate lay just a few yards ahead, unconscious, white as a sheet, and half-buried in rubble. Blood trickled down his face and the side of his neck from a gash on his forehead. If he wasn't moved, he would die of blood loss. But Angelica was seconds away from eviscerating George and Missy June. If the entire defense force of Menchi-Nasu hadn't been able to stand against the Rosechu, the hobos were as good as dead.

Just like…Frank.

If his mind had been working correctly and if there had been more time to think, Kevin might have hesitated or perhaps tried to come up with a more logical, less risky solution. Angelica still hadn't noticed him. It was a risk he hadn't wanted to take, but he couldn't see another way out of it that didn't involve losing his friends or his brother. It had to be him. It had to be now.

Snatching the Poké Ball from his belt, Kevin slammed his thumb into the activation switch on the front of the device and felt it expand into its active state. With his other hand, he drew his pistol, took aim at the incoming Rosechu, and sprinted toward her, squeezing the trigger again and again as he drew closer and closer to the edge of the collapsed roof.

"KEVIN! NO! DON'T!"

Missy June's horrified scream reached Kevin's ears too late. With a berserk yell of rage, he hurled himself into the air just as Angelica dropped down to avoid the barrage of assault rifle rounds and shotgun blasts from the hobos on the roof. Hurling the pistol into empty space, the Jerkop stretched his hand out desperately, reaching for the whirling blur of soft white fuzz…

WHUMP! Kevin slammed straight into Angelica, knocking her backward through the air as she frantically flapped her wings to stabilize herself. Digging his fingers into the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's shoulder, he barely managed to hang on and avoid being thrown to his death by his opponent's frenzied struggles. Screaming in rage and surprise, the Rosechu whirled and dove and spun through the air again and again, but Kevin was weighing her down too much for her to be able to throw him off. Struggling to hang on, the Jerkop nearly lost his grip as Angelica folded her wings and swooped away from the building, but managed to fasten his arm around her chest.

"GET OFF ME, SPAWN OF SATAN!" shrieked Angelica, and lunged for her opponent's throat. Kevin jerked backward, but the gloved fingers fastened around his neck, squeezing tighter and tighter as a black fog began to spread across the Jerkop's vision. "DIE, HERETIC! DIE!"

"GO TO HELL, YOU UNHOLY BITCH!" roared Kevin, and smashed the Poké Ball directly into Angelica's face with the last of his strength, shattering her nose. "FRANK! KILL HER!"

"AAAAAARRRRRRRBOK!" With a loud click and a rush of energy, the sphere snapped open, unleashing the furious snake Pokémon in an explosion of white light. Before Angelica could even scream, Frank wrapped himself around her and the Jerkop, constricting as the Rosechu released Kevin and began shoving and kicking and slicing frantically at her foe's scaly hide. Blood spattered the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's snowy fur and feathers as she carved gash after gash into the writhing Arbok with her cruel sickle, forcing him to release his grip in pain.

"Oh, fuck," gasped Kevin as his fingers slipped through the soft fur, tearing some small object that felt like a length of wire or telephone cord away from Angelica. The powerful coils loosened, sending him plunging straight into freefall. "FRANK! CATCH ME!"

With a furious roar, Frank spread his hood and opened his fanged jaws, spraying a green liquid from the pair of acid glands in his mouth and drenching Angelica's head and upper body in a gush of caustic venom. A bubbling scream echoed through the night sky as the Rosechu clutched her smoking, burning face and shrieked in pain, attempting to wipe off the acid before it could eat its way through her skull. Taking advantage of his distracted opponent, the Arbok whirled around and lunged down toward his falling master, stretching himself out as the terrified Jerkop reached up to grab him…

Shick!

Frank let out a pained hiss as the berserk Rosechu plunged her sickle into his tail, piercing the sharp blade all the way through and effectively securing the Pokémon like a massive worm on a razor-edged fishhook. The flesh of Angelica's face was melting as if it had been wax, peeling away from her skull to expose the bloody muscles beneath it. One half of her fused eyeball was now utterly ruined by the acid, bubbling and blackened and leaking a white fluid into her bloody fur. Reeling the Arbok in with a screeching roar, she squeezed her remaining eye shut and fired a Thunder attack directly into Frank's coiled body, stunning him and giving her body a few precious seconds to recover from the severe acid damage.

Icy wind surrounded Kevin, buffeting him with freezing gusts as he plummeted earthward. Angelica and Frank were still locked in combat above him, and a churning carpet of pink and yellow lay below. The ground rushed up towards him at a frightening speed, bringing him closer and closer to the swarm of Sonees and Roseys waddling through the streets towards KCWC. He felt no panic or sadness, just a cold silent sense of inevitability. He'd done the best he could, and now he was paying the ultimate price for such a stupid, pointlessly suicidal act. At least Nate would survive if George and Missy June managed to rescue him in time. On the other hand, now Kevin would never know how Rosechu, Christine Rosey, and Robbie Sonee had died.

Guess I can just ask all three of them when I get there, he thought, and squeezed his eyes shut.

The impact came sooner…and softer…than he ever would have expected it to.

West CWCville, Lower West District, KCWC Studios, front entrance, 9:30 p.m.

"Another firewall!" ordered Steve, firing his XM8 indiscriminately at the windows as more and more Electric Hedgehog Pokémon babies squirmed and waddled their way into the radio station toward the beleaguered hobo defenders. "Put up another firewall! Allie! Fire! NOW!"

"What the fuck's taking him so long?" Allie nearly screamed above the roaring crackle of flames surrounding them. Sweeping Trogdor from left to right across the doorway to fend off the ferals, she winced away as a wave of blistering heat washed over her. The barricades had caught fire, and the room temperature was quickly reaching a near-unbearable level. Scared off by the rising heat, Sugarplum Fury had retreated back to the safety of the recording studio, leaving the three Jerkops alone to fend off the swarm with their hobo allies. Worse, the baby chus were seeking out several new ways into the building, crawling in through the air ducts and climbing the outer wall to squeeze through the myriad of cracks and holes that the shells had punched into KCWC.

"He'll be fine as long as he gets off the roof before the whole place comes down!" The Manajerk stepped forward and kicked a wounded Sonee into the fire, then let out a panicked shout as a paraskirting Rosey landed on his shoulder and fastened her armstubs around him with a delighted squeal. Wasting no time, Steve turned and punched the little chu straight in the face, sending it tumbling to the ground with a loud "WAAAAHHHHH!" Before the Rosey could recover from the fall, Serge accidentally stepped on it, crushing the feral's emaciated body beneath his boot.

"Ugh." The Russian Jerkop grunted in disgust and wiped his heel on the floor. "Tiny shock-pigs going splat all over the place. Serge does not like dirty work." He glanced down at Baba Yaga. "And Serge is almost out of bullets."

"Save your ammo! Don't waste Baba on the larvae!" Steve ejected his spent magazine and slid a new one into the assault rifle. "Kurt! How much longer?"

"Goddamnit, I don't know!" shouted Wyczawski as he and another hobo heaved an injured man off the floor and carried him away from the flames. The evacuation was going well, but judging by the sheer number of baby chus pouring into the station and the imminent threat of a large-scale fire, the defenders didn't have much longer before the KCWC entrance would fall. "Give us another few minutes! Damn it, Morrison, I thought you knew how to handle this!"

"We've never even seen something like this before!" shouted Allie, and blasted a Sonee in the face, setting its entire head alight. "Steve, we're not gonna last long with all this heat coming in!"

"No shit," growled the Manajerk, grappling for his radio. "Keep me covered. Al! Al, come in!"

"Yeah?" Al answered. "Not really a good time, Steve. How's it going out front?"

"Well…we kind of set the whole building on fire," Steve explained quickly, slashing an airborne Rosey's head clean off of its torso with a quick swipe of his kukri. "Everyone's falling back to the recording studio. What's our ETA on the broadcast? Have you heard from Kevin or Nate?"

"DIOS! KURI, AYUDA!"

"OH, SHIT! AL, THEY'RE COMING OUT OF THE VENTS!"

The receiver exploded into a chorus of static-laden gunfire, yells, and feral squeals, forcing Steve to crank down the volume until it subsided.

"We got most of the stuff unloaded from the Bus!" Al shouted. "Get everyone away from the entrance – Joe says we're gonna have reinforcements in less than a minute! You don't want to be anywhere NEAR the street when they get here!"

"Got it!" replied Steve, and stowed the walkie-talkie just as a Sonee waddled up to his leg and began batting at his boot with its armstubs in a futile attempt to adhere itself to the Jerkop.

"Goo-goo!" it squeaked. "Sonee! SONEE!"

Shoving his kukri through the top of its soft skull, the Manajerk twisted the blade around once, reducing the feral's tiny brain to a bloody mush of grey matter and pieces of bone. Another Sonee fell screaming through a blazing window, its fur smoldering and blackened as it writhed and kicked in pain. Allie quickly silenced it with three crushing blows from Trogdor's steel mouth, cracking its ribcage and splintering its skull until the feral could scream no more. Serge had given up on Baba Yaga and was now kicking and punching as many Sonees and Roseys as he could, fending them off and smashing their weak bodies with bone-shattering blow after bone-shattering blow. The other uninjured hobos were doing their best to fight off the hungry babies too, but even with the Jerkops' help, several of their injured comrades had already been swarmed and devoured alive by the ravenous Electric Hedgehog Pokémon larvae. Ryan's army was in utter chaos, churned into a panic as the fires spread further and further towards them.

"Any day now, Kurt!" Steve roared as one of the last remaining supports buckled and collapsed inward, devoured by the hungry blaze. "WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU SO FUCKING-"

"CONTACT! LIGHT 'EM UP!"

Allie gasped and covered her face as a string of explosions lanced across the entrance to KCWC, blasting nearly three dozen Sonees and Roseys into miniature fountains of gore and viscera. Outside, a familiar mechanical rumbling noise reverberated through the studio as the streets exploded into a cacophony of gunfire and frantic yells, but with the front of the building consumed by fire, it was impossible for the Jerkops to see what had just happened.

"That's it!" shouted Wyczawski, waving from the hallway as the last groups of hobos carried their wounded out of the entrance. "Pull back! We'll regroup with Ryan in the recording room!"

"About fucking time!" laughed Steve, his voice bordering on hysteria. "All right! Everyone-"

CRUNCH!

A violent shudder ran through the building, nearly knocking the Honey Badgers off balance as they staggered backward to keep their footing. Rubble rained down from the shattered ceiling, pelting the hobos and Jerkops with tiny pieces of plaster and wooden splinters. The blasts from outside were weakening the radio station's supports to the breaking point, leaving only precious seconds for the remaining defenders to evacuate. It wouldn't have mattered if the building had never been set on fire – the shelling had done enough already to damage KCWC beyond repair.

"…OUT!" finished the Manajerk, his face white with terror as a colossal chunk of the wall caved in on itself in a cloud of plaster dust and embers. "ALLIE! SERGE! RUN! RUN!"

The two Jerkops didn't need to be told twice. Whirling around, all three of them sprinted toward the crowd of retreating hobos, barely managing to reach the hallway before the entire entrance was enveloped in a landslide of debris. Bracing herself against the wall, Allie clapped a hand over her nose and mouth to block out the wall of dust that rolled over her and her squadmates. Beside her, Serge had squeezed his eyes shut and Steve was holding the hood of his sweatshirt over his face as an improvised dust mask. More tremors shook the building, and for a moment, Allie wondered if the entire thing was going to come down around them.

At long last, the rubble settled, leaving nothing more than a massive pile of metal, concrete, blazing wooden beams, and the limp, crushed bodies of nearly three hundred Sonees and Roseys who had been caught and smashed to bits in the collapse. Little scraps of bloody fur lay scattered here and there among the ruins, while a few of the babies were still barely clinging to life and screaming in agony as they crawled and squirmed their way through the burning wreckage.

"Everyone okay?" Steve coughed, wiping a layer of white dust from his face and shaking it out of his hair. All three of the Honey Badgers had been covered from head to foot in the powdered plaster. It looked like someone had just upended a massive bag of flour over each one of them.

Allie raised a hand and gave him a thumbs-up and a weak smile. Serge merely grunted and slumped down to the floor, hugging Baba Yaga in what was either immense shock, immense relief, or perhaps a bit of both. In any case, they were all still alive, and so were most of the hobos. As for what was happening outside…

"Come on." Without waiting for his squadmates, Steve sheathed his kukri and carefully stepped onto the pile of rubble, making his way toward the sounds of battle beyond the collapsed wall. "Sounds like our backup delivery just arrived."

West of CWCville, beyond the city wall, location unknown

BANG! BANG! BANG!

One after the other, the bullets tore through the Blissey's soft head and torso, splattering Kel and Nait with a spray of blood and bits of brain matter. The helpless Pokémon didn't even have the chance to let out a pained cry as she fell backward, only a soft gurgle as all of her motor and lingual functions ceased and brain death took hold. All she could do was to gaze tearfully at her trainer, the girl who had once loved her and cared for her as a dear friend and a loyal companion. Now there was nothing left of the Kel that had once been…only a cold shell, corrupted by years of deception and manipulation at the hands of Christian Weston Chandler and his creations.

With a last shiver of despair and sorrow, the Blissey exhaled, and stirred no more.

"Hmph! Defeated by the power of TRUE LOVE!" Kel twirled her pistol triumphantly on her finger and smiled affectionately at her shocked prisoner. "Now then! Now that we successfully got rid of that HORRIBLE excuse for a JERK, let's celebrate, darling!" She turned to Naitsirhc with utter glee, only to be met with a gaze of pure hatred.

"You…killed her…" Nait whispered, his voice shaking in rage and sadness. Any lingering fear he had once suffered was gone, replaced instead by a seething hatred for this heartless witch and the despicable forces that had turned his ex-girlfriend into the monster that stood before him. While it was true that he himself had directed many of Team Rocket's escapades in exploiting and capturing Pokémon, but any abuse or cruelty had always been carried out on the ones that actually posed a threat to their lives. What Kel had done…was simply loathsome. She had just murdered a Pokémon that had virtually no means of defending itself, little to no attacks that would cause even a tiny piece of damage, and most horribly, it had been her very own Pokémon. This was not the Kel he had once known and loved. There was no excuse for this bitch to live.

"Aw, I'm sorry that JERK stressed you out so much, my sweetheart!" the deranged girl crooned, stroking her ex-boyfriend's red hair and grinning vacantly. "How about I give you a SWEET KISS to make you all better?" She leaned forward, pressing her pale, cold mouth against his.

Fighting off the urge to vomit, Nait acted in the only way that seemed right at the time.

SQUICK!

"GAAAAAHHHH!" Kel shrieked in pain, struggling to break free as the Team Rocket heir bit down on her lips as hard as he could. Blood spurted from the ragged wounds, pouring down the madwoman's face in dark red rivulets. The sound of tearing flesh filled the room, intensifying with each frantic tug. In desperation, Kel tried to gaze at her attacker sweetly through the blinding pain in her mouth, attempting to charm him in the same way a Rosey would. Nait simply tightened his jaw, and wrenched himself backward with an almost inhuman strength.

A sudden, cripplingly strong punch to his face forced Nait's jaws apart, causing Kel to stagger backwards, clutching her bloody mouth in agony. With a choking sob, she withdrew her hands from her face and stared at him with an expression of absolute betrayal. Her lips, the same lips that had spoken so much venom to her own species and to her own Pokémon, that had spoken with kinship and kindness towards the Sonichus and Rosechus that had killed so many, now hung loosely from her face, only connected by a few strands of tattered flesh. Blood gushed from the wounds, flowing down her chin and staining her shirt and the floorboards with dark red.

"HOW DARE YOU!" the girl shrieked in rage, grabbing Nait's harness once again and yanking him forward. Through her skeletal grimace, he could see a terrible hatred billowing from within her. How dare he mar her face, the face he had once fallen for. In the years since the occupation, Kel had gained a terrible penchant for only caring for her outward appearance, and for keeping the first love of her life as her own. Without her precious Rosechu to celebrate her union with Nait, and without her beauty to sway him to the 'right side'…then what was the point of love?

The barrel of Kel's pistol smashed painfully against his chin, and it was only through some small miracle that Nait's jaw failed to break. Squeezing his eyes shut, he fought to keep himself from screaming, but a weak little moan still managed to escape from his throat. So this was it. This was how it would all end. Locked away in some miserable little cabin in the woods with only a murderously obsessed girl to keep him company.

Tears gathered in the corners of Naitsirhc's eyes as his fevered mind drifted to Giovanni, the man he had always looked up to as more than just the leader of Team Rocket. Now he would never see his father again. And…what exactly had he even accomplished as the son of a known terrorist? Kidnapping Pokémon? Attacking defenseless children and trainers? A failed revolution and an alliance with some pathetic schoolteacher and her army of misfit rebels? One by one, the memories flooded back…his attempted capture of Rosechu, his unsteady friendship with Blake Sonichu, his surrender to Reldnahc, the battle with Chandler that had shattered his medallion…

And at the center of it all, a cheerful, caring young girl he had once known, cared for, loved.

Why, Kel? he nearly sobbed, closing his eyes as laughter filled his ears and blow after painful blow rained down on his defenseless head and chest. Why? What happened to you, Kellie?

KCWC Studios, collapsed entrance, 9:32 p.m.

"GO! GET DOWN THERE!" roared Steve, vaulting over a large piece of rubble and landing on the war-torn street as Allie and Serge slid and stumbled their way down the ruins behind him. Sonees and Roseys waddled squealing in every direction, panicked and helpless without the loud music to guide them. Most of the baiter shells had been destroyed in the collapse, and the swarm was now in complete disarray, unable to figure out what had just happened or why their Mary Poppins playland had fallen down all of a sudden. Being more suited for life in the wild of urban CWCville than their homebred counterparts, though, the ferals' confusion didn't last too long.

However, the lack of music was currently the last thing they had to worry about.

BOOM! CRASH!

Allie's mouth fell open in surprise as the northern barricade exploded inward in a shower of wood and metal splinters. Without warning, a PVCC transport van covered in green armor roared past the wreckage and began opening up on the Sonees and Roseys with a forward-mounted SAW machine gun, chewing through their ranks and shredding the shrieking babies into little more than red paste. Jerkops poured through the opening behind the van, hurriedly forming a base of fire and unleashing a small group of Pokémon into the street. Steve could barely make out a few Sealeos, a Vaporeon, and what might have been a Sableye, but with so much chaos erupting around them, it was difficult to tell exactly what was going on.

Across the battlefield, things weren't looking much better for the rest of the once-mighty army of baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. An S.A.V. Transformer unit stood at the center of the melee, blasting away at entire groups of larvae with its shoulder-mounted autocannon and firing a smaller machine gun at any Sonees or Roseys attempting to flee. More and more Jerkops and their Pokémon were arriving on the scene with each passing second, unloading on the feral horde with concentrated gunfire and a scattering of well-placed grenades.

"Well…that's comforting," commented Allie, trembling with relief as she slung Trogdor off of her back and adjusted the feed valve. "Who'd we get?"

"I don't know about the others, but…" An ecstatic grin spread across Steve's face. "Arceus! Vivian Gee, you are a fucking ANGEL! We got the Picklemen! WE GOT THE PICKLEMEN!"

"Always nice to feel appreciated, isn't it, Morrison?"

Surprised, the Honey Badgers looked toward the voice to see a single figure approaching across the battlefield. The stranger's face was obscured by a black side-filter gas mask, and a dark blue hood covered the rest of his head. From the neck down, the outfit was much simpler – a heavy winter cloak, a black sweatshirt, Kevlar body armor, black combat pants, and boots. But it was not the man himself that drew the Jerkops' attention…rather, the swarm of two dozen Devil Trolls flapping around him like a swarm of giggling, meme-spouting locusts. The LIESA units appeared to all be controlled by the stranger himself, a retinue or personal guard of sorts.

"You PVCC?" Steve asked cautiously, and stepped towards the newcomer. "What's your sq-"

"I don't have one," replied the man, and held out a hand as a Devil Troll alighted on it. "And up until just now, I never thought about it. But you…your squad intrigues me, Morrison. For some reason I couldn't explain, Walsh gave you the honor of offing the Sonichu brats and Rosechu. Not the Picklemen, not the Tomgirls, not even Bagget's Bastards. You. And whatever it was that made her come to this decision, well…" He chuckled sadistically. "After what you did at 14 Brunchville Lane tonight, I can see why. How about it? You interested in some more interesting work tonight, Morrison?"

"What kind of work?"

"A checklist of loose ends that need to be tied up." The stranger produced a single radio from a clip on his belt and held it up to his ear. With his other hand, he reached up and pulled back the gas mask, revealing a spray-tanned face and a head of spiky, gel-soaked hair. "Speaking of which, hang on one second."

"Wait…" Allie glanced at Steve, her eyes wide with recognition. "Steve, that's…"

"Vivian?" the man spoke calmly into the receiver, grinning with anticipation as he gazed across the battlefield that KCWC Studios had become. "It's Clyde. Start the broadcast on my mark." He glanced down at his watch. "Right on time. Three…two…one…mark."

West CWCville, Lower West District, near KCWC Studios, 9:30 p.m.

Winded, helpless, and paralyzed, Kevin lay motionless on his back, his eyes squeezed shut and his body burning in pain from the impact with the street. Death, it seemed, was not in a particularly merciful mood regarding him. Either that, or he was already in hell, frozen in time and forced to remain in the state he had died in for the rest of eternity. Whichever way he looked at it, two particular things were quite certain. He couldn't move, and everything hurt.

Breathing in and out through his nose, the wounded Jerkop let out a weak moan and opened his eyes. It was a cloudy night, and the stars were obscured, but the city lights of CWCville still lit up the darkened winter sky overhead. Judging by the muffled sounds of battle toward the south, he had fallen only a short distance away from KCWC Studios. Angelica had most likely flown away during the struggle, since no sign remained of either her or Frank. Kevin only hoped that the Arbok had either overpowered the Rosechu or else had escaped into the city. To lose his first and only Pokémon so soon after the Arbok's capture and training would have shattered his heart.

Kevin coughed twice, wincing as a burning pain spread outward from his chest. So much had happened in just a couple of minutes…at least, he was fairly sure that only a couple of minutes had passed since the fall. He still had no idea how he could have possibly survived plunging five stories to the ground. Odder still, none of his bones felt as if they had fractured. If anything, given the pain in his torso, a rib or two might have been bruised. Glancing down at his hand, he noticed that he was still clutching the wireless headset that he'd ripped off of Angelica's ear, and quickly slipped it into his pocket. If he could just find out who had been talking to her…

"Es!"

A surge of energy lanced through Kevin's brain, and invisible cords tightened around his limbs and torso, forcibly heaving him off of the street before he could even begin to comprehend what was happening. Suspended in the air, the Jerkop fought to throw off the powerful psychic bonds, but his frantic struggles were all in vain. Whatever was lifting him was far stronger than he was.

"That's enough, Diana," a female voice muttered off to his left. "Let him down."

"Espeon."

Without warning, the binding vanished. Kevin hit the ground painfully and nearly collapsed again, gasping for air as he struggled to regain his footing. Looking up, he was surprised to see two people – a man and a woman who appeared to be somewhere in their mid-20s - standing side by side before him. Both of them wore identical clothing – faded blue shirts, jeans, grey winter jackets, and identical pairs of thin black-rimmed glasses. A pair of Pokémon - an Espeon and an Umbreon – flanked them. The former's eyes glowed with an eerie blue light, and the Jerkop realized what had been holding him. Suddenly, his implausible survival made a lot more sense.

"Hey," the woman addressed him kindly. "Relax, Kevin. We're not gonna hurt you. Hell, Diana just saved your life. You should be thanking us."

"Indeed," added the man. "Harming you would make our employer somewhat disappointed."

"But don't expect to leave our company anytime soon," continued the woman. "It wasn't too difficult to find you, after all." She raised a smartphone and tapped the screen, snapping a picture of the surprised Jerkop. "You're quite the intriguing subject, Kevin. You seem to have built up a rather infamous reputation among our dear Mayor and his friends over the past few hours."

"I…" Kevin's mouth dropped open slightly. "Wait, how the hell do you know who I am?"

"That? That was the easy part." The man chuckled. "Word of advice, next time you want to threaten the chus or manipulate Chandler, don't leave your name on the note. I mean, I can't say I'm not impressed by the fact that you managed to convince the Mayor to stuff Sonichu's daug-"

"Come on, Cal, don't spoil the surprise," giggled the woman, rubbing her hands together with gleeful anticipation. "It's almost time for the show."

"Agreed. Get him to the truck, Dee." Cal beckoned to the Umbreon, which obediently perked up its banded ears. "Charon, keep an eye on him. Use Pursuit if he tries to run."

"Umbreon," growled the Pokémon.

"Wait!" Kevin braced himself as the Espeon's eyes lit up again, trapping him in the coils of invisible energy once more and levitating him off the ground. "Wait, don't do this! You're True Blue, right? Why the fuck are you helping Chandler? Didn't you see what happened at Tripod?"

"Yes." Dee sighed. "Moron. So many lives tossed away. And did he care? Hardly."

"No human in his or her right mind would ever help Chandler out of the goodness of their heart, Kevin," added Cal. "Hell, you seem like a nice guy. Don't take this personally – it's not like we have an agenda or anything. And you've earned our respect for killing Rosechu and her brats."

"If it's any consolation," continued the woman as she stepped up to Kevin and patted him on the side of his face with a gloved hand, "we may end up regretting this someday. Sorry, just a precaution." She nodded to the Espeon at her feet. "Diana, Psyshock."

"EsssspeON!"

"AAAAAAAGGGHHHH!" Kevin screamed and writhed, struggling helplessly in midair as the agonizing waves of psychic energy coursed through his body. His mind itself was opening up, erupting in a geyser of mental images and memories that flashed and blurred together like some slideshow that he couldn't stop watching. Closing his eyes did nothing – in fact, it only served to amplify the barrage of thoughts until they were flashing by too fast for him to even comprehend. Just when he thought he had reached the edge of insanity, the psychic assault ceased. Kevin slumped forward and fell to his hands and knees, gasping and shuddering as his paralyzed mind fought to recover from the sheer overload of mental energy that had just coursed through it.

Kneeling by the fallen Jerkop, Cal and Dee each grabbed one of Kevin's trembling arms and heaved him back upright just as a low rumbling sound, like that of a diesel engine, filled the street. A large garbage truck, armored with reinforced steel plating and covered in orange paint, rolled to a halt in front of them, its exhaust vents belching black smoke into the air. With a loud hydraulic hiss, the rear of the vehicle dropped open, forming a ramp up to a large control room inside the truck's bay. Monitors and electronic surveillance equipment decorated the walls, along with a rather imposing rack of sniper rifles, SMGs, and silenced pistols. A large bulletin board hung on the left side of the room, filled with pictures of Mary Lee Walsh, the Miscreants, Robotnik, Giovanni, the 4-cent_garbage administrators…and a grainy photo of Kevin himself.

"Nicely done," Cal observed coolly as he stepped into the truck and helped Dee place the Jerkop down on a small bed that looked like it had once belonged in a hospital. "Now be a dear and call Chandler once we've got our new friend tucked in. Shall we tell the Mayor we found his…"

"Murderer?" suggested Dee with a sly grin, winding a pair of leather straps around Kevin's wrists and snapping them to the bed's side railings. "I mean, Electric Hedgehog Pokémon or not, they are still GodJesus's innocent little lambs." She shuddered and spat on the ground, as if repulsed by her own words. "Well, they were. Arceus, that feathery cunt makes me want to-"

"Language, Dee," cautioned Cal. "But as long as we're on that subject, give Angie a call."

The woman nodded and adjusted her headset. "Combo Angel, Delta One. Come in, Combo Angel, this is Delta One. Respond." She frowned and glanced back to Cal, who was in the process of securing Kevin's legs. "No signal and no answer. Either that Arbok killed her, or…"

"Or nothing. She's not our problem anymore," stated a second female voice.

Fighting through the involuntary waves of dizziness, Kevin managed to focus his eyes long enough to see what appeared to be a perfect clone of Dee standing beside Cal, accompanied by a Flareon. It wasn't double vision – he was more than certain of that. An identical twin, maybe.

"Ah, together again, safe and sound," said the woman, and smiled kindly at the Jerkop. "Oh! I'm sorry, Kevin! I completely forgot to tell you who we are! We don't usually talk to our targets, but frankly, I'm kind of fascinated by you. After all…you're the first person to piss off the Mayor so much that he let us out on the streets."

"Well, he did kind of help to kill Rosechu," commented Cal. "I mean, the fuzzballs are one thing, but taking out the Incredible Lioness with a school bus, in her own house, in the subdivisions, while she was defending her own kids?" He whistled appreciatively. "That is admirable, Kevin."

"Introductions, Cal!" Dee insisted. "I'm Dee, as you know, that's my older brother Cal, and this lovely lady is my twin sister Dee. Chandler calls us Dee2, but then again, he never was one for names…or creativity. Neither were Mom and Dad, for that matter. I like to think of us as one person divided up into two bodies."

"Arceus, that's creepy," Cal interjected. "The way you say it. I mean, come on."

"But disregarding that," added Other Dee, glaring at her brother, "we all have a ridiculously badass and extremely interesting backstory that would take too long to explain…but it involves a lot of bounty hunting. The thing is, Kevin…" She leaned in close to the Jerkop and stroked his hair with a manicured hand. "Our job is to find people who don't want to be found. Fugitives, war criminals, secret agents, all kinds of people, all over the world. People with enemies. And who, might I ask you, has made it a point of making an entire species into his enemy?"

"Besides every single person in the world who hates the chus?" suggested Dee.

Other Dee sighed. "It's Chandler, all right? Chandler's got deep pockets because of that government bailout he gets every month. The "tugboat", he calls it. And frankly, we want in on some of that tugboat. What else is he gonna do with it? Buy more video games he'll never play? Another blow-up doll? The man's a gold mine, if you can convince him you can be useful."

"Problem was," muttered Cal, "that Chandler has the attention span of a goldfish. He goes through all the trouble of hiring us, outfitting us, designing a logo and uniform and everything, and BAM!" He slammed his hand against the wall, producing a hollow metallic boom. "There we are. Just another one of Chandler's pet projects that he decided not to bring out until he couldn't fall back on that purple psychic Mary Sue of his. Now Magi-Chan is...actually, I don't know where he is. With luck, somewhere painful. As for us, well, we…are the TrollBusters."

"So relax, Kevin! Just try and enjoy the ride!" Dee tapped a few buttons on the console in front of the Jerkop. "Anyway, it's time for the big show. Trust us – you don't want to miss this."

The large plasma screen on the wall flickered on, revealing a shot from inside of the Shopping Center. Camera crews and reporters from FQX and the other major CWCville news channels were gathered in the atrium, along with several dozen chus and loyalists. Chandler stood at his podium, gazing down at the crowd and looking even more sweaty and uncomfortable than usual. Sonichu stood at his side as always, but the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon seemed to have aged at least ten years. His face looked weary and haggard, and his fused eyes were heavily bloodshot. It was more than obvious that Sonichu was suffering immensely, and Kevin allowed himself a silent moment of gloating. You brought this on yourself when you killed Matt, you spiky fucker.

Behind Sonichu and the Mayor stood Patti-Chan, Rocky Shoemaker, Bionic the Hedgehog, Officers Grant and Perez, Bill Schwartz, Allison Amber, and BILLY MAYS, all of whom were glancing nervously around the atrium. The Chaotic Combo were gone, and Kevin had no idea why Magi-Chan didn't seem to be directing them. Come to think of it, he didn't know why the psychic Sonichu hadn't known about Hedgeclipper or even tried to stop it. If anything, Magi-Chan had been their greatest potential obstacle, and he never even showed up.

Kevin slumped back on the bed, halfheartedly struggling against his restraints. For the first time in almost a year, he was well and truly alone. His squadmates were gone, he had no weapons to speak of, and no one even knew where he was. For all he knew, George, and Missy June were both dead, killed by Angelica. And he hadn't even gotten the chance to see Carl again, assuming that the last of his old hobo friends was even still alive. And how long would Al, Steve, Kuri, and the other Badgers be able to last on their own? And what about Nate? And Allie…

A familiar flash of brown hair called Kevin's attention back to the TV screen, and for a moment, he wondered if he had just gone insane there and then. Allie was standing by the podium next to Chandler, clad in the same red, white, and blue striped shirt as the Mayor himself and staring out into the crowd as she fiddled nervously with her long brown hair. She was obviously quite stressed out by her situation, and a look of helpless worry was etched into her face.

Her beautiful, unburned face…

Crystal. It all made sense now. Apart from a glance on his way back from the Warp, Kevin had never seen the Mayor's clone before. Looking at her more closely, it was astonishing how much she resembled Allie, apart from lacking a burn on her face. To think that such a beautiful young woman shared the same DNA as the flabby, sweaty failure of a man who stood beside her…

Chandler stepped forward and took his place at the podium as the crowd's chattering gave way to hushed anticipation. He looked like he would rather be anywhere else in the world at the moment – if "anywhere else" meant "in his office, on his Nintendo DS or PlayStation 3". The look on his face was hard to describe through the layer of grease and sweat – a combination of harried, angry, smug…and a tiny bit constipated.

Raising his hand, Chandler held a closed fist out toward the audience, displaying his amethyst high school ring for all to see. Imbued with ancient power of a civilization long dead, it was the ring, this insignificant little ring that had brought about the collapse of the PVCC, the deaths of hundreds of Jerkops and 4-cent_garbage personnel, the imprisonment of Mary Lee Walsh, and the creation of the Mayor's ultimate form - Colossal Chris-Chan. Kevin felt his hands tighten into fists of their own accord. With every step the PVCC took towards bringing down Chandler, another deus ex machina or overpowered Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was there to counter it.

Less now, thanks to you, a silent voice whispered somewhere in the back of the Jerkop's mind.

"Y-y'all may have noticed that I am not wearin' my True an' Original Sonichu Medallion," Chandler began, glancing down at his striped shirt and letting out a massive stress-sigh. "Y-yeah, dat's 'cause of dat dang Max Milvana an' dat stupid dead sister a' his! But enough about dat!" He straightened up and adjusted his glasses. "Dis message- I'd like to address a message ta Mister Kevin Shaw."

Kevin's jaw dropped. Frozen with shock, he could only watch in utter astonishment as the Mayor began addressing him in his usual smug, self-satisfied tone.

"Yeah, I saw dat stunt you and dat dang Decepti-Clone Rosey a' yours did at 14 Bran…uh, 14 Brunchville Lane," Chandler declared, leering at the camera creepily, "and I'm onta you! Y'all musta thought you were soooo clever, but y'all better get up a lot earlier if ya wanna pull tha wool over MY eyes. An' these are-these eyes are not nearly as nearsighted as y'all seem ta think! Dey-I had a look around at what y'all left at tha scene of tha crime with my True and Honest police, an' ya know what we found?" He paused dramatically, and held up two fingers. "TWO dead Sonees an' ONE dead Rosey!" With his other hand, he held up another finger to symbolize the Rosey, and flashed a sickeningly smug grin at the screen. "Hmm. As if I needed any more proof dat you were try-tryin' ta troll us inta thinkin' Sonichu's children are dead! Here's a little, uh, a little something you could-didn't seem ta know; Sonichu and Rosechu have got ONE son an' TWO daughters, not tha udder way around! Heck, I've already found your note, and guess what, you weak little bastard? I did it! I saved Cera, thanks to…especially because dat Decepti-Clone Rosey a' yours ratted you out!"

"Well, well," Cal commented, nodding at the Jerkop. "Congratulations, Kevin. You just made CWCville's Most Wanted. Too bad about the whole 'getting caught' thing, though."

"Quiet," hissed Dee. "This is history, Cal. History."

Chandler continued looking at the camera, but now his expression had changed to one much more threatening than before. "Y'all should just give up and surrender tha udder children an' Rosechu, because I'm-I know as a fact dat dey are NOT DEAD. After all, Rosechu will eventually become a Vamprosa and tha children will grow up to live long, fulfilling lives, an' nobody el-nothing else is canon to tha comicverse! None of my creations are dead...essept for tha ones y'all had killed off without my approval!"

Torn between astonishment and glee at the Mayor's furious denial of Hedgeclipper, Kevin lay back and silently slid a hand into his pocket as the garbage truck rumbled forward into the street. Angelica's earpiece was still safe inside. Now was as good a time as any to do a little adjusting. Carefully, he eased the device out into his hand, muted it, then slowly turned the knob millimeter by millimeter over to the Honey Badgers' inter-squad frequency.

Please be listening, Al, he prayed silently, as the Mayor's broadcast continued.

"So just quit your little game right now, an' give Sonichu back his family!" ranted Chandler. "He is-he has been so dang stressed by all dis dat he crashed inta slumber! So give back erryting ya took, apologize ta' me PERSONALLY, and turn your goddamn trollin' self in before I-"

"Before you do what, Mayor? Shit your mother's panties? Jack off to 13-year-old boys? Drink your own cum? Cram something else up your ass?"

The screens behind Chandler flickered and cut to black as Patrick Ryan's distinctive voice boomed through the Shopping Center. Before anyone could react, static exploded across each of the giant plasma displays, only to be replaced by a single logo – the red PVCC half maple leaf.

"Don't bother denying it, shitstain," snickered Ryan. "We got all the evidence we need."

A hideous series of photos appeared on the screens – photos of Chandler wearing nothing but a white bra and a pair of panties, displaying his disgustingly fat body for all the world to see. Screams of revulsion rang through the audience as more and more pictures and video footage emerged. Chandler dressed up in a muscle bra. Chandler attempting and failing to do push-ups. Chandler displaying his bare bottom to the camera. Chandler attempting to sexually couple with his own PlayStation 3. Chandler running and spinning around his filthy office, stark naked. Several shots of Chandler's abnormally bent penis, exposed in all its repugnant glory. Chandler stuffing anal beads into his rectum. Chandler thrashing around, masturbating furiously, panting and screaming "JULAAAAAAAYYY! JULAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!" at the top of his lungs. Each new horror brought with it a fresh wave of horrified screams from the crowd, which quickly turned to a sickening chorus of retching as several of the reporters and mercenaries gave in to the mass onset of nausea that now spread through the Shopping Center.

"I…I…WHAT THA FUCK IS DIS?!" screamed Chandler, helplessly looking to Sonichu for aid, but in vain. The Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was just as stunned as the other city council members, unable to tear his eyes away from the montage of debauchery playing out before him.

"This, Christian," chuckled a cold, familiar female voice, "is your legacy."

With another hiss of static, Mary Lee Walsh appeared, projected on every screen of every active television and computer in every building in every district of CWCville. Kevin nearly let out a yell of shock there and then, but he was too transfixed by the sight of the imprisoned PVCC supreme commander to even move. Walsh didn't appear to be in CWCville Penitentiary – she didn't even seem to be in captivity at all. Instead, she stood alone, calmly clutching Graduon's staff in one hand. The city around her lay in a wasteland of rubble and debris that Kevin could only guess were the ruins of Piedmont College.

"I expect you're surprised to hear my voice again after so long, Christian," Walsh continued, smiling tenderly. "Whatever you did to me – killed or imprisoned or exiled, it makes no difference. I made this recording to be played at a very special occasion." She paused, and grinned. "No doubt my successors have already carried out Operation Hedgeclipper. If that's the case, then allow me to show you, so that the people of CWCville may see it for themselves."

"NO, NO, DAT IS NOT TRUE!" Chandler curled his fingers into a claw, jumping up and down in rage and shrieking insanely at the recording of his mortal enemy. "You are…Slaweel the Witch is in CWCville Prison now! I defeated her FAIR AN' SQUARE, an' she is not-"

"Ahem." Straightening her short blond hair, Walsh looked directly into the camera, peering past the screen with her piercing blood-red eyes. "Citizens of CWCville, I give you your vengeance."

There was another burst of static, and Rosechu appeared, naked, bloody, shrieking in agony as Nate gleefully snipped off finger after finger with the pair of hedge clippers. It was footage from one of the cameras that Kevin had placed in the basement of 14 Brunchville Lane during the Christmas party he'd attended with SUZI, but he had never expected the quality to be this good. Every detail was being broadcast in glorious HD, and if Vivian's team knew what they were doing, soon the PVCC's greatest triumph would make television history. The look of horror on Sonichu's face at the sight of his beloved wife being tortured was more than enough for Kevin.

Chandler let out a loud, frustrated sigh from the podium as the footage cut to Al beating Rosechu with the nail bat to which he'd taped Christine Rosey. For a moment, there was only silence in the atrium - only silence and the piercing, wretched screams from the television. It was a very special kind of silence, the kind that only formed when denial collided with the brutal, crushing truth of reality. As Chandler continued watching in disgust and disbelief, a low rumbling noise sounded from within his bowels, loud enough for every one of the camera crews to pick up. Unaware that he was still broadcasting, the Mayor hurriedly reached for a button on his podium and turned off the screens behind him, cutting out the gruesome footage. With his other hand, he reached into his pocket, withdrew his cell phone, and clumsily dialed in a number.

"Anna?" he asked, his voice shaking with stress and helplessness. "Yeah, uh, could y'all do me a favor? The trolls are showing dere stupid unfunny home videos on all tha channels, can y'all..." He paused, as Anna presumably asked what he was referring to. "Tha, uh, tha one dat's on right now!... Y-yeah, dat's… Look, I've already got tha Combo looking for- Uh-huh… Look, I…I understand dat you're concerned, but can y- I AM doing something, I'm doin' a-I'm makin' a live broadcast tellin' tha trolls ta… No, no, I didn't, it's not on… Look, can you just stop this stupid unfunny home video already? All right, peace."

Sighing again, Chandler pressed the button a second time, resuming the Hedgeclipper tape. Now Rosechu was lying on the floor, her fingers removed, blubbering and sobbing pathetically as she told the Honey Badgers about her "encounter" with Magi-Chan that had led to the birth of her "shiny" daughter. Next to the podium, Sonichu's face had twisted itself into a mask of helpless betrayal, sinking further and further into insanity with every bitter word of truth from his wife. The audible rumbling in Chandler's gut grew louder again as he blustered and sputtered, trying to deny the video proof as nothing more than another unsuccessful trolling attempt.

"Dat's…dat was just some caught-in-the-wild Rosechu y'all trained ta speak English!" he stammered angrily. "I'm not gonna fall for dis lame trolling attempt, Kevin, so just quit tryin' ta convince me my creations are dead, which they most certainly are n-"

"So…the rumors were true. You made a little purple bastard baby with Magi-Chan Sonichu."

"NO, NO, NO!" screamed Chandler, flailing his arms as Al kicked Rosechu in the face and grabbed the nail bat from Nate. "MAGI-CHAN IS NOT SOME GODDAMN DATE RAPIST! MAGI-CHAN IS GOING TO BE PAIRED OFF WITH SILVANA ROSECHU AFTER THA HOMO VACCINE MAKES HER ALL-WOMAN, AND CRYSTAL RO…CHRISTINE ROSEY IS SHINY! Why do y'all have ta take tha most innocent things an' twist 'em inta evil? If ya watched tha Sonichu Day video I made a few months ago, y'all would have learned dat Christine Rosey is PURPLE instead of PINK, which is Rosechu's color, because she is a SHINY GODDAMN ROSEY. HOW COULD SHE NOT BE SHINY? Normal Roseys equals PINK, and since she is PURPLE she MUST be SHINY. THERE WAS NO AUTHORIZED OR CWC-SPONSORED ADULTERY, INCEST, OR ANY OTHER SUCH THING TAKING PLACE BACKSTAGE!"

"Don't worry. We'll send her along…eventually. Ladies first."

"NNNNHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!

"OH, GODJESUS! ROSEY! ROSEEEEEEEY!" screamed Sonichu, wailing in misery at the sight of the Legend stomping Rosechu's skull against the basement floor. Chandler sighed loudly and continued his rant, not even bothering to console or comfort the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

"The re…do y'all want to know who the REAL rapists are here?" he yelled. "YOU! ERRY LAST ONE'A Y'ALL WHO HAS BEEN GIVING ME STRESS OVER THA LAST DECADE OR SO! I try an' try an' TRY ta make CWCville a better place for y'all ta live, an' whaddaya do? Y'all keep COMPLAINING an' WHINING an' MURDERING until I'm just so emotionally RAPED I can't make the good decisions as well as I usually do! But y'all don't even care about my stress levels, do ya? It's always just COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN with y'all! Y'all are never…y'all just need ta GROW UP an' be satisfied with all tha' good I do for y'all! I mean, just gimme a break! I'm in a hell of my own! I've gotta put up with trolls tryin' ta steal my PSN accounts and authentic Sonichu Medallion, and people shouting at me stuff dat's like…way, WAY worse den any of tha arguments my father tha former Mayor used ta start. This isn't an easy city to run! It's nothin' ta be…jealous about! Y'all just never learn ta stop givin' me and my creations grief an' be satisfied with what y'all have! Y'all are just a bunch of snooty, selfish, uptight, stubborn, sloppy, rude, slobs who just keep demanding more and more and more of me, even though my inspiration ta lead goes in an' out sometimes 'cause y'all give me so much-"

FFRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPP!

"WWUUUUHHHHBBLLUUUUUUHHHHUUUUHHHBBLUUUUHHHHH!"

On the screen, the video had changed. Now it showed the kitchen of 14 Brunchville Lane, with Steve Morrison pinning a struggling, screaming Robbie Sonee against the counter, holding a washcloth to avoid touching his excrement-caked fur. The baby chu's eyes were squeezed shut, and as Kevin watched, Kuri appeared behind him with a baby bottle full of what looked like tomato paste. Laughing cruelly, the Jerkop thrust the tip of the bottle straight into Robbie's butthole and squeezed it, violating the little Sonee with half a liter of Break You Dead hot sauce.

"NONONONONO!" Chandler's face scrunched up angrily as the rumbling grew louder still. "YOU DERE, THA JASON IMPOSTER! You… Jason's DEAD! Trying ta…turning Robbie off of tha straight path is NOT going ta bring him back! I didn…I wasn't even responsible for his death! He killed himself in a plane crash, so you an' your pet demon dere can just crawl on back to hell and STOP TRYING TA TROLL ME ALREADY! THA SONICHU CHILDREN ARE NOT DEAD! THEY'RE ALL ALIVE! CHRISTINE'S ALWAYS BEEN SHINY…"

"Make no mistake, Mayor Chandler," Jason Kendrick Howell's voice issued forth from the screens as the footage of Robbie's sauce-purge cut to a live broadcast from inside Wilderness. "Reports of my death have been…greatly exaggerated. Oh, and Kathleen, Clyde, and Jack are all alive, too. It helps to have parachutes handy when you're crashing a plane into a building."

"I…uh…I…" spluttered Chandler. His face had gone completely red, and it appeared as if he was about to suffer an aneurysm right there, in front of the entire city.

"That's correct, Mayor," chuckled a female voice. One by one, Vivian Gee, Jason Kendrick Howell, Jack Thaddeus, Wes Iseli, Megan Schroeder, Jimmy Hill, Bryan Bash, Surfshack Tito, Kathleen, and Max appeared on the television, all standing in a half circle and staring directly down at the agitated Mayor with expressions of utter disgust and savage triumph.

"Good evening, people of CWCville," Gee addressed the audience with a sinister smile on her face. "For ten years, you have suffered under the rule of your Mayor and the cruel reign of his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. For ten years, you have bent your backs to the will of a manchild, endured the pains of hunger, poverty, hopelessness, and death. You have seen your brothers and sisters killed and tortured for the crime of loving others of the same sex. You have been forced to care for the bastard offspring of your chu tormentors, while the Sonees and Roseys filled their bottomless bellies with the dead of CWCville. You have been through hell itself. A hell ruled by a madman named Christian Weston Chandler. A madman…that I once thought I could help."

"Well, uh…" Chandler scrunched up his face and clutched his stomach as a loud fart exploded from his bottom. "NO! NONONONO! YOU DID NOT HELP, VIVIAN GEE! All y'all did was write dat stupid long story dat Rocky said was an INSULT TA ME AN' MY CREATIVITY!"

Gee shook her head in pity. "Chris, Chris, Chris. You didn't even read it. And now look what's happened. Look what you brought upon yourself. Rosechu is dead. The Sonichu children are dead. Jamsta and Lolisa are dead. Simonla and Megagi and Reginald and Layla and Jiggliami, all dead. One by one, your creations will be hunted down and killed. We will not hesitate. We will not stop. And as you saw in our little preview video, we will show no mercy. This city died a long time ago, Mayor. It's time for you to retire." She paused. "So, Chris, I've just got one more question for you. Do you hear the people sing?"

"Singing the song of angry men?" Howell and Kathleen joined Gee as the Les Miserables music blasted forth from the speakers and the rest of the Miscreants added their own voices to the song. "It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again!"

When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums,
There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!
Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade, is there a world you long to see?
Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be free!
DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING, SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN?
IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN!
WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS,
THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!

"CITIZENS OF CWCVILLE!" shouted Gee, pointing directly toward the camera while her comrades continued singing around her. "THE TIME IS NOW! THE DAY IS HERE! YOUR CITY NEEDS YOU! IN THE NAME OF ALL YOU LOVE AND ALL YOU HOLD DEAR…RISE!"

"RISE!" chanted the Miscreants. "RISE!"

"RISE!" thundered an army of voices as the overhead lights in Wilderness's factory floor turned on to reveal line upon line of armed Jerkops, Transformers, and even a group of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon – Simonchu, Silvana Rosechu, and the Asperchu Combo. "RISE!"

"TAKE BACK YOUR CITY! DESTROY EVERY CHU, EVERY LOYALIST, EVERY REMNANT OF CHANDLER'S REIGN!" Gee roared as she raised a fist to the sky. "RISE! RISE! RISE!"

The broadcast ended, immediately cutting back to Robbie's torture. Steve and Kuri had covered him from head to stumpfeet in Break You Dead, and were continuing to squirt the hot sauce into his various orifices while Christine's shrill "WUUUUUUHHHHHHH!"s and the rumbling of the washing machine sounded in the background.

Until his dying day, Kevin would never be able to forget Chandler's reaction. At first, the Mayor was silent, his mouth hanging open in utter shock at what he had witnessed. His stress levels had reached a new record, and no one was telling him how to handle the situation so that all the stress would go away and he wouldn't have to worry about the trolling any more.

Then came the scream, and at long last, the release.

"UUURRRRRAAAAAAARRRGH!" screamed Chandler, grappling at his belt and wrenching down his pants to reveal a pair of dirty, crapped briefs as Sonichu, Rocky Shoemaker, Allison Amber, and the rest of his "friends and supporters" hurriedly retreated away from the nauseating stench. Exposed there in front of everyone in the Shopping Mall and throughout CWCville, he squatted and scrunched up his face in agony as a torrent of brown and orange diarrhea gushed from his rear with the force of a hose.

FFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! PPFFFFFTTTTTT!

Moments later, a crushed, bloody, shit-covered lump of meat plopped out to join the mess on the floor. Half-melted pieces of Cera Rosey rained down one at a time, some of which were still twitching spastically from the mutagenic cocktail of CWC Orange Soda that had replaced all of her bodily fluids. Instantly, the atrium exploded into a cacophony of panicked yells and shouted profanities as the reporter crews surged forward to get better footage of the Mayor's meltdown.

"Nrgh!" grunted Chandler, attempting to turn his backside away from the crowd as he continued to shit out Cera. "I will see-urgh-you rot in HELL for dis, Kevin Francis Shaw! You, dat satanic Jason imposter, and all'a your DEMONIC, COPYRIGHT INFRINGING, FREAKSHOW FRIENDS TOO! Sonichu and I have already gone through too…NRRRRGHH!" He winced as a particularly large piece of the dead Rosey fell to the floor. "...so much STRESS an' TROLLING dis evening with quote/unquote "Julie" an' such! I have been pu-I have been made the victim of your dang trollin' ways for too dang long! I'm sick of havin' ta put up with people bearing false witness against me day after day after day! I mean, I have not always been a very, uh, very moral person sometimes, an' I'm willin' ta admit ta dat! An' it takes a real, mature, straight, intelligent man ta admit to his faults! But you?! All y'all do day in an' day out is pray ta Satan and your dang hell's devils and DISWRONGFULLY TORTURE INNOCENT BAY-BEES TA DEATH!"

Chandler panted and gasped as another chorus of sloppy spattering exploded from his rear. Sonichu had fallen to his knees beside the remains of his daughter, screaming hysterically and beating his fists against the floor as more and more of Cera splatted out of her grandfather's ass. By now, BILLY MAYS and Allison Amber had retreated off the stage with Officers Grant and Perez, leaving only Bionic the Hedgehog, Rocky Shoemaker, Patti-Chan, Bill, and Crystal behind to gape in horror at their Mayor's explosive breakdown.

"Give up RIGHT NOW!" screamed Chandler. still trying to save face and threaten Kevin even as the Rosey's melted body spewed from his rectum. "I am not in tha mood for any further trollings, not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever! I am being very gen…I am being tha level-headed one here, Kevin! What do y'all even HAVE as a power, huh? Do you have the loyalty and respect of all of CWCville's Electric Hedgehog Pokemon? Th…my True Blue police officers and TrollBusters? Y'all ain't got nuthin'! Y'all are weak an' stupid! Let's see how tough you are when you come out from behind tha trollsta's paradise of your mother's skirt an' take on something your own size, you idi-"

Not all of Cera had been discharged yet.

FFFFRRRRRRPPPPPPP! FRRRRP! PPPFFFTTTT! FFFFFRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP!

Like a hideous melon made of flesh and gooey orange Jell-O, Cera Rosey's severed head hit the floor with a wet smacking sound and rolled back and forth. Her skull had been eaten away by the caustic CWC Orange Soda, and what remained of the Rosey's tiny brain was now suspended in a mix of fecal matter and orange sludge. Yet somehow, even without a body, the head was still moving, opening and closing its skinless, lipless mouth to reveal a mass of fleshy tendrils inside that had once been the baby chu's tongue. Only a soft gurgling emanated from the disgusting blob as it desperately gasped for breath that would never come. Instantly, the cameras zoomed in on the floor, taking in the horrific sight of Cera's twitching, shit-covered remains.

"Huhhhh…huhhhhhhhh…" Chandler gasped, wiping the sweat from his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Unbelievably, his smug smile returned, as if he couldn't be more proud of what he had just accomplished. "Dere now…as you can see, Kevin Shaw, Cera is most certainly NOT DEAD, which means dat you FAILED!" He raised a finger and jabbed it at the screen, continuing his tirade against Kevin in a mocking singsong voice…and not even bothering to pull up his pants. "Ha ha! You thought you could stop me from savin' tha little bay-bee? Well, let dis be a lesson ta you an' all your TROLLIN' STUPID JERK FRIENDS! As long as I am tha Mayor of CWCv-"

BOOM! SPLAT!

Kevin drew back in surprise as the pile of fecal matter and half-melted Rosey exploded outward in a shower of brown, red, and orange liquid, drenching a three-foot patch of the floor in a greasy bubbling puddle of slime. If he had known that the CWC Orange Soda bioweapon would have eventually caused something like that…

The atrium had fallen into absolute chaos. Sonichu's piercing screams reached their apex, and the original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon suddenly found himself without a voice for the second time that night. Now Crystal was screaming too, clutching and tearing at her hair as Bill yelled into a radio and Rocky tried to pull Chandler away from the podium.

"You…" stammered Chandler, gazing at the screen with utter rage. "When I see you next, y'all had better just surrender, because y'all have NO HOPE against ME AN' MY FRIENDS!" His voice had grown hysterical, higher and higher and higher until it bordered on complete insanity. "My good WILL triumph over your evil ways, Kevin Shaw, because I've got God n' Jesus on my side! So GIVE IT UP or PREMATURELY ROT! I HAVE THE CHAOTIC COMBO AN' ALL THA POWERS OF THA COMBO! I HAVE THA TRUE BLUE AN' THA TROLLBUSTERS! I HAVE THA SAMURAI PIZZA BOTS AN' THA CWCVILLE MEGAZORD AN' THA SONICHU BALL CRYSTALS AN' ALL THA ANCHUENT POWERS! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, KEVIN SHAW? WHAT THA FUCK DO YOU HAVE, YA WEAK LITTLE SON OF A BITCH? I-"

"…aaaaaaaaand cut!" exclaimed Dee as she tapped the console, cutting out the news footage as Cal applauded enthusiastically. "And the Emmy for Most Over-The-Top Breakdown on TV Ever goes to…Christian Weston Chandler!"

"All that," Kevin breathed, still unable to comprehend the magnitude of what he'd just watched. "He thinks that I was the one who did all that? Just from one stupid little Post-It Note?"

"The Mayor needs a scapegoat, now that Walsh is in prison," explained Cal. "And it just so happens that you filled that role perfectly." He smiled. "So just imagine how happy Chandler's gonna be when we deliver his nemesis right to the Shopping Center. I mean, he might not be able to save face after…that display…but the important thing is, you're here, and we've got you."

"Didn't you hear them?" Kevin asked angrily, tugging at his restraints. "The uprising's started. When the PVCC hears about what you did to me, even you won't be able to escape. They'll find you, they'll make examples out of all three of you, and then they'll kill you." He paused. "If you let me go, though, I'll tell them that you rescued me from the EHPF. You can still walk away."

"Trust me, Kevin," Dee replied coolly. "Your friends won't even have time for that. As soon as we drop you off and get our bounty, we're getting out of Dodge faster than Sonic on crack."

"Oh, and I wouldn't bet on your PVCC friends showing up for a last minute rescue," added Cal as he held down Kevin and fastened a piece of duct tape over the Jerkop's mouth. Raising the walkie-talkie, he adjusted the channel and pressed the transmit button. "ChinaTown. ChinaTown, this is Retriever Four, come in, over."

"Copy, Retriever Four. What's going on? Over."

"Had a slight delay passing through Lower West," the TrollBuster continued, grinning at Dee as Kevin struggled and attempted to scream for help through the tape gag. "We're still on course for the weapon drop. Might swing past Brunchville Lane first and see what those Honey Badgers did to the place. Did you see that footage? Over."

"Fuck and yes, Retriever Four. Those lucky bastards. Chandler blew it on a whole new scale of blowing it. No idea about that Kevin person, though."

"Me neither." Cal reached down and patted Kevin on the head. "All right, take care. We'll call back if anything goes wrong. Until then, make sure no one gets in our way, understand? Over."

"Got it. You should have clear sailing all the way to the subdivisions. Take care, Cal. Out."

"Ooh. Ouch." Dee shook her head mockingly, smiling as Kevin slumped back onto the bed in utter despair. "Yep. Sorry. Guess you're not used to facing off against competent enemies. Let's just hope that Chandler doesn't give you to Bubbles. You deserve a more heroic death than that."

And let's just hope that Al was listening, Kevin thought furiously as he gripped the headset in his fingers. Yeah, you're competent motherfuckers. But not nearly as much as you think you are.

West CWCville, Lower West District, KCWC Studios, collapsed entrance, 9:37 p.m.

"We got everything," Al growled, stepping out of the recording studio as Kuri and Jexis dropped down into the street in front of him. The mass extermination was still going on around them, as the four Jerkop squads and their support units slaughtered the swarm of feral Sonees and Roseys. "All the clothes, all the toys and games, every last thing that those little fuckers and their parents stole. Heather's staying here with Wyczawski to help organize the distribution. Funny thing is, Kurt used to be a mall Santa at the Shopping Center."

"And now he gets to help pass out toys for real." Steve chuckled and glanced over at the piles of possessions that the Honey Badgers had taken from the Sonichu family. Heather Iglesias and Kurt Wyczawski were standing around a laundry basket, folding and sorting the contents while Patrick Ryan continued adjusting the transmission. Thanks to SUZI using herself as a conduit, the broadcast link was secure, and the PVCC was now transmitting the completed footage from Operation Hedgeclipper onto every screen in the city.

"Wonder what Chandler thought of that?" mused Allie worriedly. They still hadn't heard from either one of the Shaw brothers, and it was looking less and less likely that Kevin and Nate had survived. Clyde Cash had sent out several Devil Trolls to scan the building, but so far, none of the little drones had reported in. "Al, Steve, I'm going up to the roof. We can't leave without-"

"We're not going to," Steve replied reassuringly. "Kevin's been in worse situations before. Remember his first night out? Right in the middle of the abandoned zone…underground."

"You used to do that for fun," Al remarked. "Wandering off on your own, coming back an hour later exhausted, covered in blood and scraps of fur with this big shit-eating grin on your face…"

"What?" Kuri stared at the blond Jerkop, stunned. "Wait, what? Al, are you serious?"

"Am I serious?" The Legend flipped his welder's mask back and winked at her. "Why do you think I assigned him to reintegrate you into society after we found you, Kuri? You and Steve were pretty much two psychopathic, bloodthirsty peas in a pod. I mean, why do you think he-"

"Al, come on." Steve looked at the ground, embarrassed. "You promised you wouldn't tell-"

"The hell with that!" Al exclaimed as SUZI jetted out of KCWC and hovered by his shoulder, humming "Master of the House" to herself. "Do you even…do you people even realize what's going on? We just changed the course of the entire war in less than three hours!"

"Yeah, Al, we know," muttered Jexis. "Can we celebrate after we find Kevin and Nate? Or did you forget that they were part of our fucking squad?"

"For your own sake, Al," a voice gasped weakly from behind them, "I hope you didn't."

The Legend, Steve, and the other Honey Badgers turned, surprised, to see George and Missy June approaching from the collapsed entrance to KCWC, carrying Nate between them. The Jerkop's injured leg had been bandaged with a makeshift tourniquet, but his jeans were soaked in blood. A small trail of red droplets led back into the half-destroyed building, marking the path that Nate and his rescuers had taken to get out.

"Holy shit." Steve hurried forward, grabbing Jexis's arm and pulling her over to their wounded squadmate. "Put him down! Put him down! What the fuck happened to him? Where's Kevin?"

"He's gone," growled George as he and Missy June eased Nate down onto the asphalt. Jexis hurriedly unzipped her medical bag and began withdrawing gauze, medical tape, and antiseptic. "Leapt right off the roof and tried to take down Angelica to buy us time. Stupid. Stupid kid."

"Wait, what?" Allie pushed Kuri and Serge aside, her face blank and her eyes wide with worry.

"I'm Missy June. This is my husband, George," explained Missy June to the Jerkops in a weary voice. "We were both Kevin's friends back when we all lived in Soup Hotel #4. After the bitch took off, she flew away into the city, and as far as I know…oh, goddamnit, that poor kid…"

"Fuck!" Steve cursed, gazing into the night sky as if Kevin and Angelica would appear out of nowhere above him. "Arceus, and we wrecked the whole damn Battle Bus, too. How the hell are we gonna find him now?" He closed his eye and exhaled slowly. "This is all my fault, Al. I should've sent Allie or Serge up there to watch his back."

"Then hobos would lose forward defense to tiny shock-pigs," retorted Serge. "Serge and Allie have more firepower than Steve. Steve should have gone with Kevin."

"Fuck it, he's right." The blond Jerkop sank to the ground next to Nate, who was in the process of having his leg wound cleaned and dressed by Jexis. It didn't look like too severe an injury – just a deep gash on his shin, a massive bruise, and a few pulled ligaments. He'd live, but walking would be somewhat of a problem. "Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah…" panted Nate, wincing as the medic poured her canteen over the gash to clean away the blood. He sounded distant, hollow, as if a part of him had just suddenly died. "Steve…Kevin's gone. My little brother…just…"

"No. No, don't you fucking say that, Nate!" Allie snapped, kneeling beside Steve and gripping Nate's hand fiercely. "He's gonna be fine! You're gonna be fine! We're all getting out of this alive, you understand? All of us! I couldn't…" She sniffled and wiped a single tear away from the corner of her eye. "I can't lose any more of you. You're…you're all just…"

"One big happy badass chu-killing family," finished Kuri with a tender smile.

Nate let out a weak chuckle. "Damn right, guys. Damn right."

The low rumble of an approaching motor sounded to the right. Looking up, Steve hurriedly leapt to his feet as Clyde Cash emerged from the battlefield, leading a pair of armored PVCC vans and his flock of Devil Trolls toward the huddled Honey Badgers. The Miscreant commander's coat now bore several large bloodstains, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what he had been up to. The gunfire and feral death cries had died down around them, and now only sporadic reports and bursts of assault rifle fire echoed through the streets. The Jerkops were finishing their systematic slaughter of the baby chu horde, hunting down and brutally executing any survivors.

"Commander." Al nodded respectfully to Cash. "With your permission, I'd like to take a few of my Jerkops and sweep the area for an MIA operative. We have reason to believe that he's…"

"Who is he, Ledger?" the Miscreant snapped as his eyes jumped to each of the Honey Badgers in turn. "Give me a name. What is his name, Ledger?"

The Legend drew back, taken off guard. "Kevin. I mean, uh, Kevin Shaw. Sir, what's this all a-"

"Oh, fuck everything!" Cash turned and held up a fist. "Thodt! Richter! Get out here!"

Al's confused expression gave way to a surprised smile as Hotaru Thodt stepped out of the first van, accompanied by her Vaporeon. Both the Pokémon and its master were now decorated with a series of scratches, small bite marks, and various levels of dirt and snow. Beside Thodt stood an older man with short black hair, a large fedora hat, and an impressive mustache. Both of the Manajerks were armed with Poké Balls, while the man sported a Benelli M4 shotgun and Thodt had a rather unusual combination of a surgical bone saw and a MAC-10 strapped to her belt.

"Reporting, sir," the female Manajerk addressed Cash. "How can we help?"

The Miscreant didn't respond, but instead turned back to Al. "Ledger, take half of your squad and go with the Cosmos. Thodt, you're being reassigned for a search and retrieval mission. One of the Honey Badgers just went after Angelica Rosechu on his own. You're going to help Ledger find Kevin Shaw and give him whatever backup he needs. Am I understood?"

"Yes…sir," Thodt growled. It was more than obvious that she wasn't too pleased at the concept of abandoning her squad's current mission. "Commander, I'm not sure that we can fit Ledger's-"

"Make room," Cash ordered bluntly. "Leave some of your squad here to watch the station. I want that Jerkop found. Dead or alive, he might just be the key to drawing Chandler into the open."

"I…understood, sir." The woman saluted and nodded to Al. "Ledger, can I speak with you?"

"Morrison!" shouted Cash, waving Steve over and gesturing to the mustached man as Al and Hotaru stepped aside to discuss their searching plan. "This is Geoffrey Richter, Manajerk of the Sea Lions squad based in ChinaTown. I want you to put together a team. You'll be working with the Picklemen and I to knock a few items off of that list I mentioned. If all goes as planned, we-"

"Nothing ever goes as planned, Commander," Steve muttered grimly, and turned to address his squadmates. "Kuri! Serge! You two ready to tear this whole city apart one last time?"

"Is pleasure," Serge grunted, smiling to himself as he patted Baba Yaga.

"I thought I'd avenged Mom and Dad and Millie and Daiki back at 14 Brunchville Lane," mused Kuri. "Guess I was wrong. That vengeance hasn't even started yet."

"That, Kuri," chuckled Steve, "is why I'm so fucking proud to have you as a squadmate."

Kuri smiled. "And that, Steve, is exactly what I needed to hear. Now let's go kill some chus!"

West CWCville, subdivisions, CWCville Shopping Center, parking lot, 9:48 p.m.

The access ramp to the TrollBusters' truck swung open slowly to reveal a squad of four armed mercenaries standing outside in the parking lot. Behind them, more loyalist soldiers were busy setting up a light blockade between the Shopping Center and the bustling crowd of reporters and cameramen that had been evicted from the mall in the wake of Chandler's citywide humiliation. Most of the parking lot was already cordoned off, and even with his limited field of vision, Kevin could see dozens of EHPF cruisers and transport vans assembling in front of the massive building. There was no sign of the Chaotic Combo or the loyalist Transformers, thankfully.

"Evening," the lead mercenary announced, flashing his badge. "You're aware that the CWCville Shopping Center is currently under high alert protocol by order of Mayor Chandler?"

"Believe me, we are," Cal announced, raising his hands as Dee and Other Dee emerged from the front of the garbage truck. "Don't worry, we're clear. In fact, we're just here to turn over the guy who caused all this." He looked back at Kevin and smiled. "Gentlemen, meet Kevin Shaw."

"Holy shit. That's him? That's really him?" Another merc stepped forward, staring at the Jerkop through the visor of his combat mask. "Goddamn. He's just a kid. You sure this is Shaw?"

"Definitely," replied Dee. "Believe me, Chandler had better follow through with his little bounty offer, or else…well, we can't exactly damage him. But we could lose him, if you get my point."

"Understood. We'll look after the truck for…" The loyalist sergeant paused to think. "Fifteen."

"Twelve," countered Cal. "Twelve percent. And we'll let you leave the city with us once we get the money. If this goes tits up, cut him loose and give him a gun. As far as I'm concerned, unless Chandler pays up, there's no reason to keep the fat bastard alive anymore. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal. And while you're in there, ask him when he's gonna pay us for the last three months."

"Will do." The bounty hunter grasped the mercenary's hand firmly and shook it, then beckoned to Dee and Other Dee. "Come on, you two. Payday. Let's not keep the Mayor waiting."

Without waiting a moment more, the TrollBusters made their way down the ramp and into the parking lot, accompanied by two soldiers from the True Blue squad. The sergeant and the other mercenary who had spoken remained behind, presumably to make sure none of the journalists ventured too close to the truck.

"He's not gonna give 'em the money," muttered the second loyalist as soon as Cal, Dee, Other Dee, and their escort had stepped out of sight. "Not one red cent. You'll see."

"Why do you think I sent Tim and Jamie along?" the sergeant asked, adjusting his walkie-talkie and placing it on the surveillance console. "There. We'll be able to hear everything now." He turned to look at Kevin, examining the Jerkop prisoner interestedly through his mask. "So, you really made Chandler shove Sonichu's brat up his ass? Did you kill Robbie and Christine, too?"

Kevin shook his head. He couldn't exactly speak through the duct tape gag. These men didn't seem to be outright hostile, but he didn't want to take any chances.

"Hm. Well, someone had to do it." The mercenary let out a long sigh. "Pity it couldn't have been us. Wish we could've been there to see it all go down. You bastard. You lucky bastard."

"At least we got to sort through the aftermath," added the second soldier, reaching into his pants pocket and withdrawing a tiny white bone. "Found this little beauty in the washing machine."

"Heh." The sergeant chuckled. "They're gonna be lucky if they can piece any of the babies back together after what you and your pals did. Did you see all those kids grabbing pieces of Robbie after Sonichu crushed him? In a few years, those'll be worth a fortune on eBay. Can't say the same about Cera, though. I mean, I don't even want to know what you did to her."

"Mmmmfff," Kevin agreed. "Mmmmfff mmmff."

"All right, enough small talk." Raising a hand to his face, the other loyalist undid the clips on his mask and pulled it off, revealing dark skin and curly brown hair. "Yo, Gerry, seal her up."

"On it, Lou," replied the lead merc, and slammed his fist against the door control button. The ramp retracted and closed with a hiss, leaving the two soldiers alone inside with Kevin. "Right. Untie him and get that tape off his mouth." He began removing his own mask as the second mercenary reached down, grabbed the edge of the duct tape gag, and pulled it off before the Jerkop could even brace himself for the coming pain.

Rrrrip!

"OW! DAMMIT!" shouted Kevin, struggling and gasping for breath as the soldier unfastened the leather straps from his arms and legs. "Hey! HEY! What the fuck are you doing?"

"It's okay, Kevin. Everything's under control," the sergeant replied quickly. "I'm Gerald Grant and this is my partner, Louis Perez. We used to serve in the CWCville Police Department before the occupation…until the Mayor decided to turn the entire police force into his own private chu army. Goddamn Sparkies took all our old jobs, but Lou and I managed to convince Chandler to keep us on his security team. Better than being stuck in a Soup Hotel, or getting shot at by Sparkies and True Blue. Plus, there were all sorts of nice perks and benefits that came with the job. Hell, Chandler even put the two of us in Sonichu 10 after Simonla's assassination."

"Wait…" The Jerkop sat up, rubbing his sore wrists as Perez propped up his SPAS-12 against the wall and began perusing the TrollBusters' weapon rack. "So wait, you're not loyalists?"

Grant sighed. "There's no such thing as a loyalist human, Kevin. Not even Anna McLerran or Rocky Shoemaker. They're just opportunists. All they want is money, power…or attention."

"True dat," agreed Perez. "And speaking of opportunities, I'd say it's about time we got you out of here, bro. The PVCC's gonna be happy to see their new big-shot hero coming home safe and sound." Grabbing an urban patterned SCAR-H from the rack, he tossed the assault rifle to Kevin, then selected a few magazines, a USP pistol, and a combat knife. "Here. You'll probably need these more than they do. The way things look, this place ain't gonna stay quiet for long."

Kevin nodded and obediently stowed the knife and pistol on his belt. It felt strange to be using such unfamiliar weapons, but since he'd left George's knife inside Cera Rosey, loaned his AK-47 to Missy June, and dropped his Beretta during the battle with Angelica, he was just glad to have any weapons at all. "You guys got a plan for getting past the blockade?"

"Yeah." Grant chuckled and turned up the radio's volume. "Just wait here and listen."

"-cannot BELIEVE that you let this happen to Sonichu, Christian!" a female voice sounded from the other end of the transmission. The shouts were muffled, and it was clear that Cal, Dee, and Other Dee were waiting in the reception area. The mystery woman could only be Anna McLerran, lead propaganda manager to the Mayor and one of his most devoted supporters. And judging by the sound of it, Chandler was currently putting that devotion to the ultimate test.

"Well, uh…tha thing is, it-"

"What?" Anna yelled. Kevin could only imagine the utter frustration she was enduring.

"Well, y-yeah," Chandler continued lamely. "It is partially my fault for not giving dem better security an' eggin' tha trolls on an' addin' jealousy to tha mix by letting dem learn of Sonichu's purchases, but tha PVCC are tha ones dat are at fault for exploitin'-"

"Christian." The woman sounded as if she was only seconds away from strangling the Mayor then and there. "You know…you KNOW that the PVCC is obsessed with murdering innocent infants who don't know any better! That was the entire reason we paraded Sonichu's children everywhere - to show those racist bastards how powerless they were in the face of progress!"

"An' dey-"

"Parading them around was just going to paint a huge target on them. And were you expecting Sonichu and Rosechu to just…to just sit around and guard them CONSTANTLY?"

"Well, yeah!" Chandler blustered. "Tha trolls shouldn't 'a been able ta beat both 'a dem! An' I have all tha powers of tha Chaotic Combo, so I or Magi-Chan shoulda KNOWN dat tha trolls…"

A muffled smack sounded from inside the office. Either Anna had finally delivered the Mayor a slap he so richly deserved, or more likely, she had delivered herself a truly epic facepalm. Since Chandler hadn't reacted, Kevin assumed the latter had happened.

"Christian, I swear to God," she snarled. "If we don't catch the ones responsible for this..."

"Mayor Chandler?" There came a single sharp knock, followed by Allison Amber's voice. "Excuse me, sir, your, um, your associates would like to speak with you. I told them you were busy, but they insisted on coming in…"

"…because, Mayor," Cal spoke up, "we just happen to have located and captured Shaw."

"See?" Chandler's voice instantly shifted back to one of smug pride, as if everything was going his way again. "Ya see what I was saying, Anna? Tha plan worked out just fine!"

"Oh, thank God!" said Anna. "This is great news! Now that we've got the asshole responsible-"

"Ah, but you don't, Miss McLerran." Kevin couldn't tell which of the Dees was speaking…but then again, they were identical. "Not yet, anyway. We'd like to discuss a few things first."

"Such as the terms of our payment," the second Dee added. "For one thing, empty promises and further delays just won't cut it. No offense, Mayor, but I'm afraid we only take cash or credit."

"What?" The propaganda manager's surprise was clear. "Christian, what is she talking about?"

"Well, uh, y'see," explained Chandler. "Dat's, ah, dat's just a lie dat tha PVCC made up ta slander me on dere dang CWCki! I have a lot of- I have ENTIRE BARRELS of cash an' credit!"

"Really?" asked Cal suspiciously. "Because you see, Mayor, all of the True Blue we've spoken with are saying the exact same thing. And if you gentlemen don't mind my saying…If you'd take a look at your financial records, Mayor, you might notice that they haven't been paid for-"

"Three months, sir," growled a deep male voice – one of the mercenaries that had accompanied the TrollBusters. "Three months without a single fuckin' paycheck, if you'll pardon my French."

A hasty tapping noise, like that of fingers flying across a keyboard, sounded in the background.

"Well, uh, dat wasn't my fault!" whined Chandler. "It was probably dat, uh, it was Kevin's Steel-Type Decepti-Clone Rosey who stole tha money anyhow! Y'all should go an' find dat horrible non-canon imposter Rosey an' get tha money instead 'a stressin' me out so much!"

"WHAT THE HELL, CHRISTIAN?!" screamed Anna as she presumably located the financial information she'd been searching for on her laptop. "WHAT'S THIS MEAN? YOU…YOU…"

The Mayor sighed loudly. "Okay, look, I do not-"

"YOU SPENT ALL THEIR MONEY ON YOURSELF?!"

"Wha…NO!" Chandler yelled. "I never touched-"

"THEN WHY IS ALL OF THEIR MONEY GOING TO SONY, HUH?"

"I-I made…I used tha emergency money for dat!" protested the Mayor. "I couldn't 'a-"

"WE HAVE NO EMERGENCY MONEY, YOU IDIOT! DO YOU REALIZE-"

"Well, okay, maybe I DID buy more than a few games for myself, but…" Another loud sigh rang through the room. "But I was GONE for SO DANG LONG! I had ta catch up wi-"

"Ah. We see." In a flash, Cal's polite voice had been replaced by one of intense disappointment and disgust at Chandler's idiocy. "Well, Mayor, if video games are more important to you than-"

"Wait!" Anna spoke up, desperately trying to salvage the negotiations. "What about Sonichu? What about the family's tugboat? He's got to have money we could use!"

"What?" asked Dee.

"Yeah! I mean, he gets a pretty large check every month!" The woman sounded utterly relieved, almost jubilant at the realization that there might yet be a way out. "And since he never has to pay for anything…and especially since Shaw's the one responsible for what happened tonight…"

"Interesting," replied Other Dee. "If this is true…"

"Yeah, really!" persisted Anna. "He's probably got enough to pay you and the True Blue! If Christian told him to do it, then of course he would!"

"No no no NO NO!" shouted Chandler. "Don't…I…Sonichu can't do dat!"

"Why not?" asked the TrollBusters, the mercenaries, and Anna, almost simultaneously.

"'Cause…because Sonichu needs tha money more than y'all do!" The Mayor paused, breathing heavily as he continued to protest the (admittedly logical) suggestion. "He's gotta buy himself a new humble abode an' belong-…an' he's gotta replace all tha stuff dat tha trolls took!"

"Hmm." Cal sighed, as if in defeat. "Well, if you say that Sonichu has our money…"

"Uh, dat is correct," stated Chandler. "An', well, y'all should know dat it is better ta give than ta receive, an' besides, my honest respect is worth as much as any, um, form a' money. An' as tha Mayor, I would go tha whole nine yards an' tha extra mile an' replace tha bounty an' tha True Blue payroll with a fair an' agreeable boost ta 90…80…75 points on my Respect Scale."

Three seconds of utter silence passed, followed by the harsh rattling of pistols being drawn and assault rifles being raised towards Chandler and Anna.

"No more games, Mayor," snarled Cal. "No more lies. TRANSFER THE FUCKING MONEY."

"WHOA! WAIT! NO!" shouted Anna. "CHRISTIAN, GIVE THEM THE MONEY, YOU IDIOT!"

"Listen to her, Mayor," Dee said. "Frankly, putting you down would be immensely satisfying."

A loud FFFRRRRPPP broke the silence, followed by a strangled cry of revulsion from Anna. It was more than obvious that Chandler had dispensed yet another 'accident' into his briefs.

"Can't say we expected any more from you," Cal hissed. "And so it ends. Goodbye."

The abrupt explosion of gunfire crackled through the radio, heavy with static as the loud reports mingled with a sharp sizzling of energy. Panicked shouts and screams mingled with the din of combat, occasionally interrupted by Chandler calling for Sonichu and the Combo to protect him.

"Cover the exits! COVER THE EXITS!" roared one of the mercenaries. "Miss Amber, I suggest you get the fuck out of here. AND SOMEBODY KILL THAT FUCKING DOG!"

"Don't worry, Christian!" Patti-Chan's voice sounded above the chaos. "My unbreakable shield of luck energy will hold them back, but…"

"No no no NO NO!" screamed Chandler, presumably cowering behind the shield wall with his pants freshly filled. "I am tha MAYOR an' you do not have ANY right ta do this, TrollBusters!"

"Get out here, you fat sack of shit!" Dee shouted. "Coward! You coward chickenshit pussy!"

"NO, NO, I AM NOT A COWARD, I AM A MAN!" Chandler's voice had reached an almost hysterical apex. "I am a STRONG MAN, an' I have ALL THE POWERS of tha' Chaotic Combo! Now I do not like havin' ta resort ta violence, but you are STRESSIN' ME TA DEATH, an' I WILL NOT stand for dis!" A muted clattering of plastic and metal sounded from behind the shield, as if the Mayor was hurriedly assembling a complicated piece of…

"What…" Anna breathed in disbelief. "Christian, what the hell are you…"

"I have reviewed all tha case files an' what not!" Chandler panted. He sounded as out of breath as if he'd just run a marathon. "An' by tha power vested in me by tha Cherokian Clan an' tha Sonichu Ball Crystals, I hereby pronounce sentence to tha TrollBusters an' tha Tru-…uh, tha FALSE Blue! Dey are guilty of treason, trollin', an' all other charges! An' then- an'…on tha lawsuit here, for dere punishment, dey will be shot ta death with my own Megatron Pistol!"

"THAT'S A FUCKING TRANSFORMER TOY, YOU MORON!" Anna yelled. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, CALL SONICHU! CALL THE COMBO! CALL ANYONE!"

"I can, uh, I can deal with dis, Anna!" insisted Chandler. "I am tha Mayor of CWCville, an' I say dat dese trollin' stupid TRAITORS will NOT get away with dis! Case dismissed! Are you ready for your execution, TrollBusters?"

"Big talk…for someone hiding behind a shield and a zombie dog," sneered Dee.

"You don't have the balls to do it, Chandler," Other Dee added in a mocking tone.

"Damn right," said Cal. "How does it feel, Mayor? How does it feel to be trapped in your own-"

"Well, at least my car ain't a fucking garbage truck!" Chandler shouted. "An' Patti-Chan is not a zombie; she is an ALIVE DOG!" A metallic click sounded through the room. "Buh-bye!"

BANG!

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" The Mayor's shrill scream rang through the office, drowning out the echo of the gunshot as the TrollBusters and mercenaries burst out laughing. "OH MY DOG! DANG IT! AAAAAHHHH!"

"OH MY GOD! HOW? HOW?" screamed Anna at the top of her lungs. "HOW DID YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT, CHRISTIAN?! YOU INCOMPETENT LITTLE-"

"FATHER! NO! GET AWAY FROM FATHER, YOU TROLLS! SO…NI…CHUUUUUUU!"

The radio clicked and cut out as the familiar crackle of electricity blasted out of the receiver. The transmission was dead, and Kevin had a feeling he knew exactly what had happened to it.

"Was that…" he asked, still stunned by what he'd just listened to.

"Yep." replied Perez. "Shit just got real, bro. That's our cue to get outta here, ASAP."

"I'll drive." Grant hurried toward the front of the garbage truck, sidestepping Kevin. "Sit tight, kid! We'll get you back to the PVCC. God, I hope those bastards left a key in here…"

"Aw, shit. How long d'you think it'll take to hotwire this big bitch?" asked Perez.

"Five minutes." The police officer checked his watch. "Less if you give me a hand here…"

"HEY!"

Both Perez and Grant turned to see Kevin aiming the SCAR-H at them, his jaw set and his eyes blazing with fury. Without a word, the Jerkop punched the door control button and backed away as the truck's rear hatch hissed and began automatically descending outward.

"Wha…" Grant raised his hands confusedly. "Kid, what the hell are you doing?"

"Keeping a promise to my best friend and the chu that killed him," snapped Kevin. "I'm going after Sonichu. If I'm not back in ten, leave." He paused, contemplating what he was about to say. "There's this girl in my squad. Allie Parker. Looks just like Crystal Chandler, but with a big burn on her face. Tell her that I'm sorry, that I'm doing this for her, and that…I love her."

"Holy shit, man!" Perez chuckled. "You're gonna kill Sonichu just to score some Jerkop pussy?"

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, that about sums it up. Only, you know, a little more complicated than…"

CLANG! The rear hatch dropped open into a ramp, revealing the parking lot once again. Most of the True Blue soldiers were clustered together in small groups, listening as the TrollBusters' impromptu rebellion played out on their radios. Kevin couldn't tell what was going on inside the Shopping Center, but it didn't matter. All he knew was that nothing, not even Chandler himself, could come between him and his revenge against Sonichu.

"Get behind something!" hissed Grant as he stepped up to the door controls and slammed his fist against the CLOSE button. "We'll take off as soon as you get back! Go! Go!"

Taking a deep breath, the Jerkop quietly dropped down to the asphalt and crept around the side of the garbage truck, making sure to stay in the shadows to avoid being spotted by either the mercs or the chus. Only thirty yards stood between him and the mall's entrance…thirty yards of wide open, brightly lit, completely exposed parking lot. If he ran, the EHPF would be on him in a matter of seconds. If he opened fire, the mercenaries would immediately gun him down. There weren't too many options left that didn't involve getting him killed in the process.

Fortunately, his reprieve came rather unexpectedly.

"Hey! Sparkies! Hey, what the fuck is this?"

Kevin peeked around the corner to see a small group of loyalists advancing toward the cluster of EHPF officers standing guard in front of the Shopping Center. The leader of the mercenaries was holding out a small recording device toward the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, and over the sound of the truck's engine, the Jerkop could hear a repeat of Chandler and Anna's argument.

"No money, huh?" snarled the man as his small army of True Blue soldiers halted in front of the uniformed Sonichus. "That fat fuck spent all our fuckin' money on motherfuckin' video games, and now he offers us some fuckin' worthless…RESPECT POINTS?"

"We haven't had payday for three months!" shouted a woman from the crowd. "Three months!" She raised her pistol. "Stand back. We're gonna have ourselves a little chat with the Mayor."

"Now hold on just a dang minute!" retorted the foremost EHPF officer, holding up his gloved hands in protest while his comrades slowly formed up around him. "Father has given y'all a very generous offer, and he has been through a lot of stress because of that JERK Kevin Shaw! If y'all are going to slander the Mayor with such TROLLIN' LIES, we will not stand for this-"

"Lies? LIES?" a third mercenary roared. "THREE MONTHS, YOU SPIKY MORONS! HOW MUCH DID HE PAY YOU IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS, HUH?"

The Sonichu straightened up and puffed out his chest in a pathetic attempt to look threatening. "The monthly tugboat is the GodJesus-given right of all Sonichus and Rosechus in CWCville, as decreed by Mayor Chandler himself! We work really hard to keep the trolls and the homos from destroying this city, so as y'all can see, we earned our tugboat privileges FAIR AND SQUARE!"

"YEAH!" shouted the other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon simultaneously.

"And as y'all know, Father is very stressed right now!" continued the officer, folding his arms as if he were reprimanding a child. He sighed loudly. "And when the Mayor is stressed, he might forget little things like giving out tugboats to y'all! Well at least that is not as bad as what you and the trolls have been doing to him! You should all know by now that the original Rosechu and the poor, helpless Sonichu children have been kidnapped by-"

"Kidnapped?" The second loyalist's jaw dropped. "THEY'RE DEAD, YOU NAÏVE IDIOT!"

"Hey! HEY! I do not like being called that demeaning and hurtful word, thank you very much!" The Sonichu's spikes bristled up as sparks flew from his cheekspots. "And y'all are not helping this stressful situation ONE BIT with your slanderous lies! Father himself said that the JERKS killed ONE Rosey and TWO Sonees, and the rest was just the trolls tormenting him with their game of Kick the Autistic! Now you can either take Father's generous offer and help us bring the Kevin troll to justice, or you can keep slandering us and lose ALL of your Respect Points!"

Without hesitation, the mercenary captain turned and nodded to his troops. Instantly, the True Blue soldiers around him spread out in a wide arc, drawing their weapons to catch the Sonichus in a complete crossfire. In just two seconds, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon found themselves completely outgunned and outflanked, though they still possessed the superiority of numbers.

"I'm gonna say this one more time," the man growled, sliding his own pistol out of its holster. "Let us into the Shopping Center or we're gonna slaughter each and every one of you yellow freaks right here."

"Ha! Y'all can try!" countered the EHPF officer, placing his hands on his hips and smirking at the firing line of heavily armed, angry mercenaries. "Y'all are just a bunch of trollin', greedy, weak as dirt cowards, who keep running away and leaving us to keep the homos and trolls from taking over and destroying our great city! And furthermore, if you think y'all could ever defeat CWCville's true and honest heroes, well then you are sorely mis-"

BANG!

"EEEEEEAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!" The Sonichu dropped like a stone, shrieking a wretched shriek of agonized misery and clutching his groin where the captain's bullet had pierced his bony crotch plate and reduced his genitals to bloody mush. "AAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEHHHHHH!"

"Ten years," spat the mercenary as the castrated chu writhed and kicked on the ground. "Been waiting ten years to do that, Sparky." Glancing up at the shocked EHPF officers, he raised his pistol. "If any of you survive, tell that cumguzzling manbaby to consider this our resignation."

"TROLLS!" cried another Sonichu. "The True Blue are trolls now! Zap them all! For Father!"

"Show 'em our full appreciation, boys!" the True Blue captain bellowed. "FIRE AT WILL!"

"SO…NI…CHUUUUUUUUUU!" screamed the crowd of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Kevin was nearly blinded as both sides opened fire simultaneously, filling the air with a furious hailstorm of bullets and bolts. In seconds, the parking lot had devolved into a scene of electric mayhem, punctuated by shouted orders and screams of pain. The Sonichu officers dashed off in all directions, most of them saved from death by their incredible speed and maneuverability, but still woefully outmatched at long range against the True Blue. Taking advantage of the new distraction, the lead merc and about a dozen other soldiers stormed forward into the Shopping Center, while the others stayed behind to fend off the spinning, shocking fury of the EHPF.

Across the parking lot, dozens of small-scale shootouts had erupted between groups of Sonichus and the former loyalists. Without Chandler, Magi-Chan, or the Combo to tell them exactly what to do or how to win the battle, the Sonichus suddenly found themselves facing off against their heavily armed, much better-trained counterparts. Disorganized and scattered, they began targeting any human they could see, firing off a slew of Thundershocks, Thunderbolts, and Thunder Waves that churned the cold winter air into a field of crackling static. Still more of the chus rolled themselves up to launch devastating Spin Dashes at the True Blue soldiers.

For the Jerkop, it was now or never.

Hurling himself out from behind the garbage truck with complete disregard for the battle raging around him, Kevin sprinted straight into the fray. Almost immediately, a searing bolt of lightning arced through the air in front of him and connected with an unwary mercenary, instantly killing the man with a sizzling crack. Two more EHPF shot straight past, dashing back and forth in zigzag patterns to avoid the hail of bullets zipping across the parking lot.

CRASH!

Kevin whirled to the right to see a wounded Sonichu slam into one of the parked EHPF cruisers, sending the entire thing toppling onto its side. Three mercenaries instantly ducked into cover behind the wrecked car and began laying down a thick screen of gunfire on the incoming Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Further back, several more True Blue had managed to reach a Humvee with a mounted heavy machine gun, but before the soldiers could open fire, a Thundershock sizzled through the vehicle's armored chassis, fatally electrocuting its trapped occupants and turning the entire Hummer into a blazing wreck as its engine exploded.

Over by the mall entrance, a trio of mercenaries brought down a running Sonichu with sustained assault rifle fire, while a lone man charged through the center of the melee, unloading on any chu that dared to come within range of his SPAS-12. The shotgunner might very well have reached the doors and pushed through to join his comrades in the Shopping Center, had a Spin Dash not ended his advance right there in a whirling spray of gore and sparks. The bloody, charred bodies of dead and dying mercs and chus decorated the parking lot, some of which had become tangled together in the chaos. So far, neither side seemed to be winning.

A stray bullet flew past Kevin's ear, forcing him to the ground to avoid being shot. The Jerkop went down hard, scraping his knees and left elbow as he fought to scramble back upright. Lightning seared across the asphalt in front of him, and before he could regain his footing, something slammed into him with what seemed like the force of an out of control train.

WHUMP! Kevin gasped in pain and rolled over to see a Sonichu hit the ground with a yell of surprise. Unbelievably, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon had tripped on him and lost its footing. There was no time to wonder how on earth it could have happened. Dropping his SCAR-H, the Jerkop reached for the pistol on his belt, wrenched it out of its holster, and unloaded three rounds directly into the fallen chu's back. Without bothering to confirm the kill, he stowed the weapon, staggered to his feet, picked up the heavy assault rifle, and limped on, forcing himself step by step toward the Shopping Center's entrance. His torso felt as if it was burning up from the inside out and he was almost certain that the Sonichu's impact had bruised a few ribs, but at least his spine was still intact. There were only a few more yards to go…only a few more yards to go…

With a squeal of brakes, a True Blue Humvee swung past Kevin and bulldozed an EHPF officer who had stopped to gloat over the body of his stunned opponent. Two soldiers hurriedly exited the vehicle and dragged their wounded comrade inside, while the gunner swiveled his machine gun back and forth to fend off the attacking chus with a thunderous barrage of .50 caliber rounds. Using the Humvee as brief cover, Kevin raised his assault rifle and fired at the nearest Sonichu he could see, scoring a glancing hit on the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's leg. Another chu shot by in front of him and was quickly gunned down by a nearby pair of mercenaries, reduced to a half-flayed carcass and a cloud of blood in a few short seconds.

Breathless and clutching the SCAR-H as hard as he could, Kevin hurled himself out of cover and burst through the shattered double doors that led into the Shopping Center. Remains of the True Blue rebellion were strewn about the entrance - shell casings, pools of blood, and chu corpses lying in a jumbled mess. It looked as if the first group of mercenaries had smashed right through the EHPF defenders, aided by a liberal sprinkling of flashbang and fragmentation grenades. Only four men had fallen to the Sonichus, while the number of EHPF casualties appeared to be close to twenty. Kevin was hardly surprised - the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon weren't exactly going through a period of high motivation since the double whammy of Operation Hedgeclipper and Chandler's infamous announcement had brought their entire world crashing down upon them.

Back inside again, the Jerkop thought feverishly as he struggled down the front corridor between the Country Cookin' and the security office where he'd first met Matt, Jake, Billy, Laurie, the whole mall cop team…his old friends from those early days. Gunfire resounded through the mall from up ahead and to the right, while the sounds of shattering glass and frantic screams echoed in the background. With the entire building evacuated, the True Blue were now forging a path of destruction through the Shopping Center, pillaging every empty store and restaurant in their way for cash and valuables. Kevin didn't even want to think about what the soldiers were doing to the jewelry stores, but from the looks of it, a small group of determined mercenaries were fending off the EHPF guards while their comrades busied themselves with ransacking as many necklaces, rings, and earrings as they could from the Kay and Zales at the mouth of the atrium.

"Hey! HEY!" a weak, filtered voice called out from up ahead. Surprised, Kevin turned to see a man in the standard merc combat armor and gas mask, sprawled between a pair of lingerie-clad Rosechu mannequins in front of what had once been the mall's Victoria's Secret outlet. Judging by some of his past ventures into chu-friendly franchises, Chandler had most likely ordered a complete redesign of the store after the new wave of "Rosechu empowerment" swept CWCville in the spring of 2008. Kevin cautiously approached, keeping his assault rifle at the ready.

"You…you're him," coughed the mercenary, shivering in pain as he reached a smoking arm out toward the Jerkop. It looked as if he'd been on the receiving end of a Thunderbolt, or something equally powerful. "You're Shaw. They had you…all this time…they had you right…here…"

"It's okay." Kevin knelt beside the dying man and grabbed his hand. "You're gonna be okay. Listen, stay here and wait for help. I'm going to-"

"Help…ain't coming for us." The soldier reached for his mask and wrenched it off, to reveal a charred, bloody face and a static-laden head of brown hair. "I didn't…want any of this, kid. I just…we all just wanted the money…Arceus…I'm sorry, kid…I'm so sorry…"

Kevin drew back, stunned, as the mercenary's head slumped to the side and a final breath rushed out of his mouth. For a moment, he forgot what he was even supposed to be doing inside the Shopping Center. Killing Sonichu? What was he even supposed to do? More Jerkops and human citizens had died by Sonichu's actions than the rest of the Combo combined. Mary Lee Walsh herself hadn't even been able to wound the original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, and now here he was, some absurdly lucky Jerkop who'd singlehandedly managed to launch himself straight to the top of Chandler's enemies list…with a Post-it Note…charging to meet his inevitable death.

But that was what real heroes did, wasn't it? They put their own lives at risk to protect peace, justice, and the innocents around them? Since the arrival of Sonichu and the Combo, the very concept of heroes and villains in CWCville had been warped into a bitter mockery of itself by Chandler's unmatched greed, selfishness, and ego. But now, with his twisted little world and his once-mighty fortress of denial steadily collapsing under their own weight, the one thing he had left to cling to was the creature that would never leave his side, never stand against him, never question his actions, never speak anything but support and friendship. And this one thing had given Chandler all the power and motivation he needed to turn his own father's legacy into the neo-fascist city-state that had claimed so many innocent lives over the past decade.

Sonichu.

Silently, slowly, the Jerkop rose to his feet and turned toward the entrance to the atrium. He had made his choice a long time ago, long before this moment of realization. If he turned back now, it would be a betrayal to everyone who had fallen to Chandler's yellow-furred executioner. Everything had been leading straight toward a last confrontation with Sonichu…one last opportunity to deal the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon species a blow it would never recover from.

Closing his eyes, Kevin trudged onward, onward to the final showdown, onward to death or glory, onward to the one last, best chance he had of shattering Chandler's Heart Level for good.

For the Mayor to fall, for the people of CWCville to live free once more, Sonichu had to die.

West CWCville, Lower West District, several blocks north of KCWC Studios, 9:53 p.m.

"How'd they get you guys out here, anyway?" Jexis asked as the Cosmos' van roared around a corner onto the adjacent street. "I mean, I thought they'd send backup, but not four squads!"

"Guess they wanted a nice big show of force," mused Hotaru Thodt from the front seat, glaring dubiously at Al out of the corner of her one working eye. "Same reason they made us leave Wendy and Mindy behind so we could help you track down your squadmate for whatever reason." She stared forward, shaking her head angrily. "There's no question about it - they're just using us now. What the hell makes this Shaw guy so important, anyway?"

"Believe me, Hotaru," Al muttered as SUZI climbed into his lap. "If I knew, I would've told you as soon as we left Cash behind. Kevin's a good operative - one of my best, actually – but unless he's been lying to us about his identity for over a year, he's still…just a pretty normal Jerkop."

"Allie would probably beg to differ on that front," added Jexis, playfully nudging her squadmate in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey, come on. He's gonna be fine, Allie. We'll find him."

"We'd better," growled Allie. "I'll burn this entire city to the ground if that's what it takes."

"Not at this rate, we won't," Calvin Burton growled, peering out the window and adjusting his glasses. "Christ, this whole operation… Hotaru, I'm gonna give Wilderness a call. Maybe they can give us something to work with, at least. We're just driving in circles otherwise."

"Good. Do that." Hotaru glanced over her shoulder, scrutinizing the Honey Badgers and the other Cosmos with her bionic eye for a few seconds before some activity in the backseat diverted her attention. "Revok, what the hell are you doing to Komen now?"

"Well, as long as we're driving around aimlessly…" explained Michael Revok as he rolled down the window and accepted a screaming red-furred Sonee from Desdemona Thorn. Before Hotaru could even ask what he was doing, the Jerkop snatched up the baby chu in a single hand and shoved it out the open window, giving it an instant faceful of cold night air. An inch or two of snow had accumulated on top of the van, and Revok was more than delighted to introduce his little Electric Hedgehog Pokémon playmate to the schoolyard tradition of a "face wash".

"Where'd you even find him?" Al chuckled as he and the other Jerkops watched in amusement.

"Straight camp," Revok answered curtly, withdrawing the Sonee from the roof of the van. "He was my Nanny Program assignment. But we're best friends now, aren't we, Komen?"

"SOWWEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Komen. "SOWWEEEEEE! SOWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"'Sowwee?'" asked Allie.

"It's a speech impediment or something," Thorn explained, laughing in a less-than-sane manner. "Always sounds like he's apologizing for everything we do to him."

"Right. I see." The Legend turned away from the rather unusual spectacle and leaned back in his seat. "Goddamnit. Anything from Wilderness, Burton?"

Calvin nodded and held up a hand for silence as he spoke into his radio. "Wilderness, Cosmos Lead, come back, over."

"Reading you, Cosmos Lead. You guys find Objective Alpha yet? Over."

"Negative, Wilderness. We ran a multi-block sweep of the KCWC area - no sign of Shaw yet. Requesting immediate UAV support in locating the target, over."

"Copy. Hold on a sec." The man paused, presumably radioing the Miscreants to update them on the ongoing search for Kevin. "Cosmos Lead, Gee just authorized full use of the PVCC aerial drones to sweep the sector. Whatever the admins want him for, it was enough to make her switch the entire NHFHSC network into this search and rescue operation. Stand by, over."

"Wilderness, this is Honey Badger Lead," Al addressed the operator, leaning forward to speak into Calvin's receiver. "We're operating with the Cosmos on Commander Cash's orders, but he didn't tell us anything about why Gee's got her panties all bunched up about Kevin. Either give us some fucking information or put her on the fucking line!"

There was nothing but static, and a single click, from the other end of the transmission.

"Nicely done," Hotaru muttered sarcastically. "You always talk to your operators that way?"

"Joe couldn't give us anything useful anyway," retorted the Legend. "When the fuck are they planning to start the whole revolution? We already gave 'em Hedgeclipper, KCWC…"

"…wait, Ledger, Clyde didn't even TELL YOU?" Vivian Gee's breathless voice crackled out of the radio. "Chandler just…holy Arceus, I can't believe he actually did that on TV! Right in front of every news crew in CWCville! It was perfect, absolutely goddamn perfect! They're pouring out into the streets with pitchforks and torches! We just stirred the entire city into revolution!"

"WHAT?" Hotaru's jaw dropped in astonishment. "They patched you through? They actually patched you through to Gee?"

"Shut up a sec. Commander Gee!" Al continued, glancing between the radio and his Jerkops as more shouting and static erupted in the background of the transmission. "Pardon me for asking this, Commander, but what the fuck are you even talking about?"

"It's starting, Ledger! It's finally starting!" Gee yelled with barely-concealed jubilation. "We just launched the Crackders out of Wilderness to cover our ground teams! The Plaza's already under attack! I want you and the Cosmos over there ASAP – you'll give the other squads support while Clyde ties up some loose ends. Don't worry about Shaw, just get to the Plaza, now! Out!"

"Wait!" shouted Hotaru. "Wait, Commander, you're pulling us off the assignment?"

There was no response from the Miscreant's end. She had terminated the transmission, leaving the Cosmos and Honey Badgers with far more questions than answers. Finally, Allie spoke.

"I don't care about their orders," she murmured, gazing at Al with a pleading look in her eyes. "Kevin's still out there. We have to find him. Al, we have to find him…before it's too late."

"We all want him back, Allie," replied the Legend, reaching over and placing an apologetic hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, he's a smart kid. If he's still alive, he'll head for Slumberland and find a radio. But we've got to think about what's at stake here, besides Kevin's life. The whole city's collapsing into all-out war. We've been waiting ten years…ten years for this opportunity."

"I know." Allie sighed and slumped forward in her seat. "I know, Al. There's too much at stake."

"We'll find him," Al stated reassuringly. "I promise. We don't abandon our squadmates."

"What about Nate?" asked Jexis. Behind her, Revok looked up interestedly, and received a quick elbow to the ribs from Thorn. "I mean, do you think he's gonna be okay on his own?"

"He should be all right," Hotaru replied, a touch of bitterness in her voice. "Wendy and Mindy know what they're doing. And since you're the closest thing we have to a medic now, Jexis, I sure as hell hope that you know what you're doing, too." She looked around the van at the three other Cosmos accompanying them – Johnny, Wanda, and Yuri. "We're not much in terms of size, I know. But I'm not going to let any of my Jerkops die because you couldn't heal them."

"Don't worry about me," the medic retorted, patting her bag. "All the same, try not to get hit."

"Zip it, you two," ordered Al. "Hotaru, bring us around and head for the Plaza. And please tell me this thing has airbags. Something tells me we're in for a pretty rough entrance."

West CWCville, subdivisions, CWCville Shopping Center, atrium, 10:01 p.m.

Keeping the stock of his SCAR-H pressed to his shoulder, Kevin stepped forward through the atrium as the darkened figures of humans and chus dashed to and fro through the smoke around him. Sporadic explosions and bursts of gunfire echoed painfully through his skull, and the Jerkop quickly found himself regretting the fact that he hadn't asked Grant and Perez to lend him a pair of earplugs. There was no time to loot any of the fallen soldiers for equipment, and he needed to keep moving if he was going to reach the Mayor's office in one piece. He was a fish, trapped in a duel between sharks and crocodiles. Hesitation meant death.

In the three or so minutes since the fighting had begun, some rather enterprising mercs had set up a thick smokescreen throughout the Shopping Center, lobbing smoke grenade after smoke grenade into the atrium until the entire building was enveloped in a choking grey cloud. At least the lights and power were still working. Over the harsh commotion of battle, Kevin could hear Christine Rosey screaming shrilly, until a wet ripping noise sounded and her frantic cries were replaced by muffled "WUUUUUUHHHHHHH!"s as Al wrenched out her little tongue with tweezers. The Hedgeclipper footage was still playing, broadcast to every television station in CWCville. Either Chandler had forgotten to turn off the TV screens in the Shopping Center, or the mercs had somehow managed to turn them back on.

"Hold up!" shouted a voice behind him. Kevin froze, gripping the assault rifle in numb fingers. If a mercenary had found him...

"Shit! Stan, that you?" a woman replied, panting with exhaustion. "Did you see Brian and Todd?"

"You kidding? Fucking Sparkies everyw-"

"SO…NI…CHUUUUUUU!"

Kevin covered his eyes as a blinding white light and a bolt of electricity exploded through the grey fog, followed by the distinctive whoosh of a Sonichu speeding past. The True Blue mercs both opened fire at once, shooting blindly into the smokescreen in a vain attempt to hit the chu. Blinking to clear the glare out of his eyes, the Jerkop dashed forward and nearly slipped on a pool of blood spreading out from beneath the body of an EHPF officer. The Electric Hedgehog Pokémon were everywhere, each one fighting zealously to protect the Mayor and all he held dear in his rapidly-crumbling world. So far, Kevin had killed a grand total of one since arriving at the Shopping Center, but then again, he wasn't exactly about to go out of his way to make the mercs' job any easier. He still hadn't forgotten Patterson and Goody, and what they had done to Zoey.

Hope you're out there with the rest of us, Ben, he thought as a pair of Sonichus rolled by in Spin Dash form. Come to think of it, Ben Waters seemed to have simply disappeared in the months since the return of Chandler and the Second Battle of Hogwash. Either his former comrades had killed him, or more likely, he was just lying low, avoiding contact with the PVCC in the hopes that both sides would leave him be. What he had done for the resistance was simply unparalleled, and Kevin would have vouched for him at a moment's notice, but then again, collapsing an entire segment of the CWCville Central Highway wasn't exactly the type of thing one did if he didn't want to draw attention to himself. Kevin still had no idea how SUZI had survived the Tripod explosion and found her way right into the Shopping Center, but she and Ben and Simonchu had all managed to escape with their lives, even if the Asperpedia Four had been left behind.

Kevin didn't harbor too much hope that he would be able to do the same.

Vrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrrvrr… A mechanical whirring sounded from above – a familiar noise to anyone who had worked in the mall for as long a time as he had. He was at the north end of the atrium, right in front of the very elevator that led up to the Mayor's office. The path to CWCville's heart, at last, lay before someone was coming down.

Ignoring the commotion behind him, Kevin quickly dropped to one knee and flipped the SCAR-H to semiauto mode, then lined up a shot directly on the elevator doors. If Sonichu or Chandler was inside, he would only have a momentary window of opportunity to put them down for good. One shot, and it would all be over. One shot, and ten years of grief and pain would all be…

Ding!

"OH GOD! OH MY GOD! AAAAGGGHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" a shrill female voice shrieked through the smoke. Surprised, Kevin could see a single figure lying on the floor, spasming wildly and clutching her leg in what sounded like excruciating pain. Silently praying that it hadn't been Allison Amber, the Jerkop lowered his assault rifle and cautiously stepped forward to see what kind of damage he had done.

A young, red-haired woman who looked to be in her mid-20s lay crumpled on the floor of the elevator, shuddering and screeching a stream of unintelligible profanities at the top of her lungs. Her skin was quickly draining of color, a dark stain was spreading down the left leg of her jeans, and her knee was now a shattered mess of bloody cartilage where a bullet had clipped it.

Anna McLerran. Somehow, she had managed to escape the firefight, but not before taking a round. Most likely, the merc who'd shot her hadn't even meant to – it had sounded like absolute chaos on the top floor of the Shopping Center.

"AAARRRGGGHHHH! GOD DAMMIT! AAAAAGGGHHHH!" screamed the propaganda director, her face wracked with shock and agony. "OH, GOD! OH JESUS, MY KNEE!"

"Where's Chandler?" growled Kevin as he stormed into the elevator, keeping the SCAR-H trained directly on his victim's head. "Where's Sonichu? Tell me where they are, and you live."

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Anna shrieked as she fought to drag herself away from the Jerkop. "Oh God, it's you! YOU! SHAW!"

"Yeah, I'm Shaw." Raising his foot, Kevin brought it down on the woman's back, pinning her to the floor as he pressed the assault rifle's barrel against the back of her head. "Nice to meet you, Miss McLerran. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an urgent meeting with Sonichu."

"You…you…" Anna gaped, twisting beneath the Jerkop's foot in a futile attempt to turn herself over. "You…YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU MURDERED SONICHU AND ROSECHU'S CHILDREN, YOU BABY-RAPING FASCIST! YOU KILLED THEIR BABIES, YOU JERKOP FAGGOT! YOU UTTER ASSH-"

"SHUT UP!" roared Kevin. Stowing the SCAR-H on his back, he drew his pistol and fired a single round out the door. "WHERE'S SONICHU?! WHERE THE FUCK IS SONICHU?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, YOU ASSHOLE!" Anna shouted, rolling onto her back to get a look at Kevin's face. "OHHHHHH! OHHHH GOD, MY LEG! MY LEG!"

"You'll live," grunted the Jerkop, and glanced at the elevator panel. "Sit tight. We're going up. Ignoring the barrage of futile insults from his new captive, he reached over and pressed the uppermost button, the one that read TOP FLOOR – MAYOR'S OFFICE. At least he had a hostage now, and more importantly, Anna was one of the few people that Chandler truly couldn't function without. He wasn't exactly prepared to gun her down if the Mayor failed to comply, but at least it was a better plan than storming into the office armed with only a single assault rifle.

The elevator rumbled once and began its slow ascent toward the uppermost floor of the Shopping Center, leaving the sounds of battle behind. Keeping a watchful eye on Anna, Kevin sank to the floor and leaned back against the wall, savoring the moments of peace before the final, inevitable faceoff against Sonichu began. The element of surprise would be crucial, and now that he had a form of leverage to use against Chandler, the odds seemed slightly less insurmountable.

"You tell him to stand down," he muttered. "When we get up there, you're going to tell Chandler to hand over his ring, his medallion, anything he could use against us. This is between me and Sonichu. I don't want him interfering."

Anna gritted her teeth, pressing a bloody hand against the wound in her knee. "Like he's going to give in to the demands of a goddamn child murderer! You coward! That's what all you traitors are! Cowards! How many of you did it take to kill three innocent babies, huh? Ten? Twenty?"

Kevin laughed. The woman was far more delusional than even he had anticipated. "Innocent? Try taking care of one of those little freaks for a couple days. We'll see how long you last."

"Oh, I remember you, you scumbag backstabber," the propaganda director snarled through waves of pain. "I remember you at the Christmas party. You and your little pal Suzy Rosey. You betrayed them. They trusted you, and you betrayed your own city and everyone in it."

The Jerkop narrowed his eyes. "As opposed to, say, someone who sells out her entire species for a deluded, power-crazy manchild and a bunch of cloned electric abominations?"

"That's exactly what I'd expect from a baby-murdering, tiny-dicked racist like you!" shouted Anna. "You don't get it, do you? You people turned their lives into an absolute hell! Are you so fucking dumb that you just can't see that they're the real victims here? And after all you and your stupid friends did to Chris, now you can't even leave him alone for five fucking seconds?"

Shaking his head, Kevin stared at his hostage in utter bewilderment. "Leave him…leave him alone? TEN YEARS! The entire city's been suffering for ten years under Chandler's rule! Are you…are you seriously telling me you've never even seen the shit that goes down out there?"

"Yeah, I have!" Anna retorted. "And all I see is a bunch of ignorant retards like you and the rest of the PVCC, turning everyone against Chris just because he's autistic and he doesn't know any better! Yeah, you're really suffering, aren't you? I bet a mouth-breathing little shit like you isn't any better off than he is! He can't even find a date, and he's been trying for ten years!"

Kevin smiled and pointed a finger at Anna. "He tried to get you to be his Sweetheart, didn't he?"

"I…" The woman's jaw dropped, and for a second, she couldn't speak. "SHUT UP! I told him I wasn't interested, but oh yeah, I didn't shatter his goddamn heart like that Megan girl did!"

"Heh." The Jerkop chuckled. "He still can't let her go, huh? Even after all these years."

"Oh, don't worry," spat Anna. "She'll live to regret what she did to Chris. You, on the other hand, are in for a world of pain when he sees what you did to me."

"World of pain?" laughed Kevin. "You're one to talk. How's the knee?"

"Shut up! I swear to God, you son a bitch, if you don't let me go…"

"That all depends on your cooperation, and Chandler's," Kevin answered. "Sonichu and I have a score to settle, and he knows it. You behave yourself, and maybe I won't shoot your other knee." He glared directly at her. "But insult me one more time, and you'll just be damaged goods."

Anna growled in helpless frustration, pounding her head and fists against the side of the elevator as she and Kevin approached the top floor. Beyond the sliding doors lay the entrance to the Mayor's office, and from the sound of it, the TrollBusters and their mercenary allies were still putting up a particularly good fight. Just to be safe, Kevin shrugged off the SCAR-H's shoulder strap and tucked the weapon under his arm, then reached down and wrapped the other one around Anna's torso. The woman struggled, cursing and flailing and clawing at his arm as he hauled her to her feet, but Kevin quickly jammed the hot barrel of his pistol against her temple, resulting in a hissing noise, a shrill, pained scream, and another explosion of profanity.

They were almost there. Just a few more seconds, and…

Ding!

Kevin managed to raise his pistol just as the doors slid open. Much like the atrium below, the top floor of the Shopping Center was choked in a heavy layer of chemical smoke. Beyond the initial cloud, bursts of white and yellow light flashed back and forth through the open conference room while a steady green glow saturated the smokescreen further back toward Chandler's office. Over the pounding gunfire, Kevin could hear the sharp, familiar electrical crackling of Sonichu firing off Thundershock after Thundershock at the human soldiers. So far, the attempted coup and assassination attempt didn't exactly seem to be tilted in favor of the former loyalists.

But Kevin wasn't too worried about that at the moment. His attention was centered on the group of five extremely surprised-looking, bloodied, and battered True Blue and TrollBusters standing in front of the elevator. Cal stood at the center, his hair standing on end and his mouth dripping blood, flanked by Dee and Other Dee. The latter twin had turned a sickly pale hue, and was currently clutching a wound in her stomach that could only have been the result of a Spin Dash. The two other soldiers seemed to have fared no better, but at least they were all still alive.

"Far enough," growled the Jerkop, centering the USP's sights on Cal's head and tightening his grip on the struggling meat shield formerly known as Anna McLerran. "You miss me, assholes?"

Cal's eyes widened. "Oh, shit."

"Yeah." Kevin nodded. "Heard everything. The whole mall's going to hell." Clutching the pistol with something close to a death grip, he took a tentative step toward the TrollBusters. "But you know what? All I want is Sonichu. You wanna try your luck down there? Be my guests."

"I…Kevin?" croaked Dee. She was already supporting Other Dee, and looked about ready to collapse at any second. The limp purple body of her Espeon was slung across her shoulder, its fur smoldering from what must have been a fatal electric attack. "Kevin…how the fuck did…"

"GET IN THE FUCKING ELEVATOR!" roared Kevin, shoving Anna to the floor with a kick and prompting another scream from the injured propaganda director. With both hands free, he raised the SCAR-H in one and the pistol in the other. "DO IT! NOW!"

"They wiped us out, kid," sighed the first True Blue soldier as he and the two Dees limped into the elevator. "I give up. I'm through with this fucking place. We're all through with it."

"Wise choice," snapped Kevin. "Too bad you jackasses didn't realize that ten years ago."

The other merc didn't respond, but merely shouldered his way past the Jerkop. Anna still lay prone and pathetic on the floor, shuddering in pain and swearing under her breath. Only Cal was left now, and the Jerkop wasn't about to let him escape without tying up a little loose end first.

"What the fuck do you want from us, Kevin?" the TrollBuster muttered, wiping his bloody face with the back of his hand. "Look, we already got fucked up enough today. Just let me take my sisters out of the city. We're not coming back. I swear, we're not com-"

"No," agreed Kevin. "You're not."

WHAM! CRACK!

"MMMMFFFFF! MMMFFFF! UUUGGGHHH!" Cal shouted as he dropped to his knees, his hands clasped across his face where Kevin's vicious punch had shattered his nose.

"Parting gift from the PVCC," growled the Jerkop, flexing his bloody fingers and turning away from the shocked mercenaries as the elevator doors slid shut between them. "Now get out."

"CHRIS!" screamed Anna, feebly dragging herself across the room away from her captor. "CHRIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE, HELP ME! HE'S HERE! SHAW'S HERE-MMMMMFFFF!" Her shrill voice was instantly muffled as Kevin holstered his pistol, knelt down, and grabbed her again, clapping his hand over her mouth and jamming the SCAR-H's barrel into her back. There was no point in trying to play it quiet anymore…he'd simply had enough of her useless ranting. Hauling the woman to her feet, he shoved her forward, crossing the vast conference room one step at a time. Allison Amber's desk lay in ruins, but thankfully, the secretary's body was nowhere to be seen. Cruel as they were, the mercenaries had at least allowed Amber to escape with her life, even though at least a dozen of their number seemed to have given their own in the process. Two men lay crumpled together on the floor, their scorched skin sizzling as the Jerkop and his captive drew closer to them. More bodies had been scattered here and there, shredded by Spin Dashes or cooked alive in their armor by immeasurable amounts of bioelectricity. The smell was incredible, a stomach-churning mix of charred meat, burnt hair, and freshly spilled blood.

"This is what you've been defending," Kevin hissed in Anna's ear. "How many do you think your 'hero' murdered in the last decade, huh? How many of those were on Chandler's orders?"

"Oh, big words from someone who just slaughtered three helpless infants!" The propaganda director struggled furiously, attempting to elbow her captor in the gut. "Sonichu doesn't murder people, you fucking hypocrite! Did you retards all just forget he's been protecting CWCville?"

A loud sigh sounded from the Mayor's office, taking both Kevin and Anna by surprise.

"Anna, uh, is dat you?" Chandler called out disinterestedly. "Look, I need you ta…I need you ta go tell Rocky an' tha others dat tha False Blue have been, dat dey have been defeated an'…" His voice trailed off, as if he had been distracted by something. "Uh, hang on a second dere."

"CHRIMMMMMFFFFFFF!" Anna tried to shout, but was quickly stopped by Kevin's hand.

"Tell him to come out, slowly," instructed the Jerkop, jamming his assault rifle's barrel against the back of the woman's neck and uncovering her mouth. "Hands on your head. Do it."

"Christian!" Anna's voice trembled as she reluctantly raised her hands and placed them behind her head. "Christian, it's me! Look, I know you're really stressed out right now, but you need to come out right now!" She glared over her shoulder at Kevin. "Shaw's here! He's…Chris, he's a fucking psychopath! He's gonna kill me! Please, Chris, you've got to give up and come out!"

"NO! NO NO NO!" the Mayor shouted, blustering with fierce denial. "I am STRAIGHT, Anna! You know dat I am NOT a HOMO! I do NOT appreciate dese accusations ONE BIT!"

Kevin sighed and rolled his eyes. "Chandler! This is Kevin Shaw! Anna's telling the truth, and so am I. If you don't give yourself up right now, I'm putting a bullet into her skull." He paused. "What's it going to be, Mayor? Surrender, or dead Anna? Clock's ticking."

There was no response…only another loud, frustrated sigh from the office. The Jerkop held off the countdown for another moment, then looked down at his watch. "Ten! Nine! Eight!"

"Wait!" shouted Chandler, suddenly willing to talk. "Waitwaitwait! Whaddaya want?"

"I already told you. Surrender. Unconditional surrender. You come out, and I don't shoot her."

"Sorry, uh, could you repeat dat? I don't understand tha question."

"Give. Yourself. Up," Kevin growled in exasperation. "I don't think it gets much simpler."

"Mmhm, yeah, whatever."

"No! NOT whatever! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR!"

"How 'bout, uh, how 'bout dis as a compromise?" suggested Chandler. "Y'all give yourself up and retract erryting dat y'all did ta me an' Sonichu tonight?"

"How about you shut the fuck up and get out here?" Kevin retorted. "THREE!"

"CHRIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE," screamed Anna in desperation. "HE'S GONNA DO IT!"

"Psh. Y'all are weaker den water! Y'all have trouble killin' innocent babies! I'd like to see y'all try an' kill her you weak little coward!"

"TWO! She's a dead woman, Chris! A fuckin' DEAD WOMAN!"

Chandler sighed again. "NO, y'all are the one's who're gonna be wishin' y'all were DEAD once I'm through with y'all!"

"NO! CHRIS! CHRISTIAN! PLEASE!"

"That's it! That is IT! Time's up!" Kevin drew in a deep breath and scanned his surroundings. "ONE!" The smokescreen was dissipating, and Sonichu didn't appear to be in the conference room with them. That left only two options – he was either inside Chandler's office…or Sonichu wasn't even there at all.

But no, that wasn't right. He'd definitely heard a…

OH, FUCK. OH, FUCK. Dropping Anna instinctively, the Jerkop spun away as fast as he could, but even if he'd had the reflexes of a cat, he would have never been able to dodge the tightly-packed cluster of leafy vines lashing out behind him from the other side of the room.

WHUMP! Kevin felt the air leave his lungs with a whoosh as the Vine Whip attack hurled him a full twenty feet backwards, directly into the side of the broken conference table. Fiery pain blossomed across his back and left shoulder as he slammed forcefully against the splintering wood and collapsed to the floor. Desperately, he tried to push himself away from the ruined table and back onto his feet, but his left arm didn't seem to be responding to the messages from his brain anymore. Neither, for that matter, was any other part of him.

"Take that, kidnapper!" In a rippling flash of color, Wild Sonichu emerged out of thin air, his hands on his hips and a triumphant grin plastered on his face. "Good has prevailed once again! Another victory for the Swifty Scyther Clan and the forces of truth and justice!"

"Oh, thank God!" Anna yelled. "KILL HIM, WILD! KILL THAT MURDERING BASTARD!"

A single vine snaked around Kevin's right boot and tightened, snaring him like an octopus grabbing its prey. Before he could even draw a surprised breath, the green Sonichu heaved him up with a single powerful pull, lifting the struggling Jerkop into the air by his ankle. The SCAR-H slipped from his grasp, tumbling to the floor and leaving Kevin with only his knife and pistol. As blood began rushing into his head, he frantically pulled the USP from its holster and managed to fire off three shots before a whirring Razor Leaf sheared the sidearm's barrel clean off.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin could see Anna curled up on the ground, moaning, her knee still oozing blood through her fingers. The Jerkop's momentary distraction was quickly nulled by the bitter realization that he had fallen right into Wild's trap. Of course Sonichu hadn't been in the Shopping Center. Of course he wouldn't have come to Chandler's aid. Not after witnessing his own dead, shit-covered daughter literally explode out of the Mayor's rectum. Even the most stoic of individuals would need at least a good hour or so to recover from an experience like that.

But as for Kevin, he was currently trapped in the heart of CWCville, surrounded by enemies, and hanging from a vine with nothing but a stolen combat knife. The idea of some noble crusade for revenge against Sonichu was starting to look more and more naïve and idiotic by the second.

"Well, well, well!" Wild folded his arms, smiling up at his ensnared prisoner as the Jerkop swung back and forth above him. "The infamous Kevin Shaw! At last, we meet!"

"We already met, fucker," the Jerkop groaned, feigning a rush of fatigue as he slowly reached for the combat knife sheathed on his belt. "We all saw Simonchu beat the shit out of you."

"Shut your mouth, you dumb lyin' jerk!" Wild's furious yell resounded through the conference room, drowning out Anna's weak cries of pain. "You and all your troll friends have been saying nothing but SLANDER about me and my Chaotic Combo buddies for YEARS now; I will NOT stand for it one minute more!" With a swift gesture of his outstretched arm, the vine tightened, squeezing Kevin's ankle until it felt like the bone would surely shatter. "Well, Father has asked you very nicely to give back Rosechu and Robbie and Christine, and I will make dang sure that you tell us what your villainous PVCC pals are up to! Where are you hiding them?"

SHICK! SHICK! Drawing his knife from its sheath in a single, miraculously coordinated motion, Kevin slashed the blade down across his boot, severing the thick rope of symbiotic plant fibers that held the elite chu's Vine Whip together. Wild's high-pitched yelp of surprise went unheard by the Jerkop. Free of the vine, he dropped a good seven feet and hit the floor, his fall cushioned by the thick carpeting. Instinctively, Kevin rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up. The SCAR-H sat only four yards away, still loaded and ready to fire. If he could just retrieve it…

"Hey! HEY!" yelled Wild, hastily retracting his vines as Kevin scrambled toward the fallen assault rifle. "What the f-?! That is not supposed to happen! You cheated, you stupid troll! HI-YAAAAA!" Leaping into the air, the green Sonichu let out a ridiculous battle cry and began whirling his leafy tail around like a fan, creating a powerful blast of air that knocked Kevin off balance and sent him tumbling to the floor once again. Before the Jerkop could recover from the sudden wind, Wild dashed forward and lunged, firing off a corded length of vine that wrapped itself around Kevin's chest, pinning his arms to his sides and instantly immobilizing him.

This time, Kevin was ready. Flipping the blade around in his hand and rolling away from Wild, he sliced the binding apart a second time and ripped the severed vine away from his torso just in time to avoid a Razor Leaf that would have taken his left arm off. Blood pounded and rushed through his brain with each labored breath, and each second felt more painful and tiring than the last. The Sonichu hadn't faltered one bit – in fact, he merely seemed to be toying with the Jerkop. For the first time since the fall of Menchi-Nasu, Kevin began to feel a cold, creeping sense of despair welling up inside him. There was no way he could beat Wild when the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon had him outclassed in every possible way. Every possible way…but one.

"ENOUGH!" Kevin shouted, stumbling away from Wild and raising a hand in surrender. "All right! That's enough!" Hurling the knife across the room, he sank to his knees, staring up at the smirking chu through waves of fatigue. "I…I give up. You won. I'll tell you…tell you where we took the babies…and Rosechu. Just…please…don't hurt me. You won…I give up."

Wild hesitated a moment, then relaxed, withdrawing his vines and dramatically brushing himself off with his gloved hands. "Ha! Didn't even break a sweat on that one!" He took a heroic stance, gazing off in a completely different direction as if he was actually posing for a camera. "You should have known better than to 'tangle' with the vine-slinging jungle hero…Wild Sonichu!"

"Yeah…I know…who you are…asshole…" panted Kevin, wincing at the chu's atrocious pun.

"Well, come on, then!" Wild demanded gloatingly, standing over the Jerkop with a look of smug triumph plastered across his green furry face. "Where are they, villain? Tell me where Rosechu-"

"I'm not telling you jack shit," snarled Kevin. "Take me to Chandler, and I promise I will."

"He's lying, Wild!" shouted Anna, wincing in agony as she clutched her shattered knee. "Don't do it! Don't do it! He's going to try and kill Christian! That's the whole reason why he's here!"

Wild glanced back toward the injured woman and chuckled. "Not on my watch, Miss McLerran; I will make sure this Jerkop does not hurt Father or give him any more stress!"

With a choking sob, Anna collapsed and curled up on the floor in a fetal position. Most of her strength had already been sapped, and all she could do now was to lie there and watch helplessly.

"Exactly," confirmed Kevin. "I just want to talk to the Mayor. I'll tell him where we're hiding the rest of Sonichu's family, and in return, you let me walk away. I'll leave CWCville and live with the Amish, just like Alec Benson Leary and Sean and Mao and…Evan."

The Sonichu hesitated at the mention of Evan's name. "Y…yeah! Father sent them to live with the Amish because they…they killed Simonla!" Wild's fused eyes narrowed in cold hatred. "And those jerks will never hurt any innocent Electric Hedgehog Pokémon ever again; Sandy and I will make sure of that!" He smiled with immense pride. "I have been teaching her to be just like her mother; she is my little blessing and I will never let villains like you take her away!"

"Sandy, huh?" Cautiously, Kevin began making his way toward the door to the Mayor's office as Wild followed close behind to make sure he didn't try anything suspicious. "Isn't she less than a year old? And you're already turning her into another furry fuckpuppet. Just like Simonla."

"NO NO NO! Simonla is a STRONG, INDEPENDENT, RESPONSIBLE woman, just like ALL Rosechus are!" Wild retorted in a voice closer to a hysterical scream than a snappy comeback. "And you are just a weak lying troll LOSER who kidnaps and hurts innocent babies for fun!"

Disregarding Wild's pathetic attempt at insulting him, Kevin reached out and slowly turned the knob leading into the Mayor's office. It was all he could do to keep his hands from shaking as he pushed the door open and stepped through to meet his fate. At long, long last, he was entering Christian Weston Chandler's domain – the diseased heart at the center of CWCville.

If only he'd known what lay inside, the operative might have actually considered going back for the SCAR-H and putting a bullet into his head to save himself a lifetime's worth of nightmares.

The thick, choking stench of decay and filth slammed into him without the slightest warning. Kevin only managed to choke back his own gag reflex and cover his mouth in time to avoid a ferocious vomiting episode. The smell…the smell was wrapping around him like a putrid cloud of sour, stale air, filling his nose and making his eyes water with its intensity. It could only be described as a perfect, horrible fusion between body odor, blood, and human shit, mixed with a constant, lingering artificial orange scent that Kevin knew all too well by now.

But unfortunately for him, the smell would soon prove to be the least of his concerns.

At first, Kevin couldn't figure out what exactly he was looking at. Hundreds of action figures, dolls, Legos, sex toys, and stained articles of clothing had been messily shoved into little piles, and a single heavily-stained card table now stood in the center of the office. Two tiny bundles of fuzz and gore – one yellow, one orange and brown – had been placed on the table, along with a large hunting knife, a bottle of CWC Orange Soda, an orange-smeared Post-It note, a hardcover copy of the Sonichu comic, and a yellow flat object that he immediately recognized as one of Chandler's medallions. Most of the medallion's surface was caked in feces, and Kevin could only assume it had been part of the "Julie" plan. Al had mentioned something about Max's daemonhost being used as an incentive to make the Mayor perform unbearable and humiliating tasks, but Kevin had never expected the Miscreants to go so far as to make him shove his own prized medallion into his anus. Nor, for that matter, had he expected Chandler to actually do it.

"Mayor!" Wild exclaimed proudly as he shoved Kevin further into the dank, reeking office. "I have defeated the JERK, Kevin Shaw, and saved Anna McLerran from his villainous clutches!"

From across the room, another sigh rang out. "Ugh! Uh, Wild, can you wait a dang minute?!"

Squinting through a teary haze, Kevin could barely make out a large blobby shape sitting on what appeared to be a poorly-constructed throne that had been made almost entirely out of Legos and pillows. Beside it, Patti-Chan stood, ever faithful to her master, scrutinizing the Jerkop with her bionic eyes. A collection of trophies had been assembled on the shelves and walls around the throne – a battery-blue Guitar Hero controller, a Sailor Moon poster, a massive sheet of hand-drawn Pokémon cards, a torch-like staff with a heart on the end, and many more of the Mayor's bizarre creations and acquisitions. Beyond the initial shelves, two truly breathtaking glass cases stretched out along the wall on either side of Kevin, each one filled to the brim with hundreds and hundreds of video game cartridges and disc cases from Nintendo, Sony, and Sega.

And atop the throne sat Christian Weston Chandler, wearing his striped shirt and blue jeans, glasses, a clean Sonichu medallion, his high school ring, and a thick layer of sweat that saturated his flabby body and clothes in a repulsive greasy sheen. His foot had been clumsily bandaged with a dirty, stained shirt, presumably to conceal the embarrassing bullet wound. A custom-painted blue and yellow Nintendo DS was clutched in his hands, and over the sounds of labored breathing, Kevin could hear the background music of Animal Crossing playing out of the device. It hadn't even been five minutes since the True Blue had attempted to kill him, and already Chandler had lost himself in his video games once again. Kevin wasn't surprised at all.

"Mayor," he spoke up, continuing forward as Wild continued pushing him from behind. "Mayor Chandler…my name's Kevin Shaw. You know…the PVCC operative?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhkay." Chandler let out a long and irritated sigh and handed the gaming device to Patti-Chan, who silently and obediently accepted it. "Well, uh, den, what d'you want, TROLL?"

Kevin bit back the furious outburst he had wanted to deliver to Chandler since 1998. "I've had enough, Mayor. I'm giving up. You won. I've seen the error of my ways. I've accepted God and Jesus into my heart. I don't want to be a troll anymore. And…I want to save Rosechu and her children. Cera's dead, but Robbie and Christine…they're still alive. And I know where they are."

Crossing his fingers, the Jerkop let the carefully-chosen words sink in. Chandler eyed him with a supremely bored expression, constantly glancing back to his DS as if he would much rather be wasting yet another hour on video games. And this man had ruled CWCville for a full decade.

"Well, uh…" The Mayor paused, then raised a finger and pointed it directly forward. "I do not think you are tellin' me tha truth, tha whole truth, an' nothin' but tha truth, mister Kevin Shaw!" He smiled smugly. "Jus' how naive are ya, you weak little trollin' stupid? I have ALL tha powers of tha Chaotic Combo, an' dat includes Magi-Chan's psychic mind-reading ability! Dat's why I…uh…yeah, dat's why I knew you were gonna come an' tell me all tha LIES about you not bein' a troll!"

Crossing his arms, Chandler stared creepily down at the Jerkop. "An' yeah, I know dat your lil' trollin' stupid buddies are making all sorts 'a SLANDER videos about Rosechu an' her bay-bees bein' dead, but I know BETTER THAN DAT!" He pointed to the two blobs on the table. "What about dat, huh? HUH? Dat Sonee is NOT tha TRUE an' ORIGINAL Robbie Sonee; dat is a fake, uh, an IMPOSTOR SONEE! An' need I remind you dat Sonichu an' Rosechu have TWO daug-"

"NO." Kevin stated as loudly and clearly as he could without shouting. "You don't need to."

"Well, apparently I DO, 'cause y'all can't get dat SIMPLE FACT through your DANG STUPID SKULLS!" With a disproportionate amount of effort, the Mayor lurched up from the throne and waddled toward Kevin. Patti-Chan stalked after him, keeping her cybernetic eyes locked on the PVCC operative. "An' y'all should just look at tha video I'm gonna put on Youtube today; dat should make it CRYSTAL clear dat tha PVCC did NOT kill Rosechu or Christine Rosey or Robbie Sonee!" His face fell slightly. "Uh, however, I will admit dat Cera Rosey is dead at tha moment; y'all should know, however, dat I did NOT give my OFFICIAL COPYRIGHTED permission for dat to happen! It is a non-canon problem an' I am workin' on fixing it right now."

Kevin merely gritted his teeth and focused on blocking out everything but Chandler's face. He would rather have stared into a basilisk's eyes than look upon this failure of humanity for one second longer. "How? HOW are you going to fix it? She's dead, Chris. You killed her."

"Yeah, but only 'cause you LIED ta me!" whined Chandler, and sighed loudly. "Dat note was nothin' but FALSE; you made me shove Cera up my butt, an' she did NOT get better!"

"No, she didn't," agreed Kevin, "because most people don't heal their Pokémon by shoving them into their assholes! If you'd put the slightest amount of effort into actually thinking about what I was saying in that note instead of just taking my word for it…"

"YOU SAID DAT MY A-HOLE WOULD MAKE CERA BETTER!" screamed the Mayor.

"And you believed me, YOU STUPID…NAÏVE…FUCK!" Kevin roared.

"Hey! Don't you dare insult Christian!" Wild shoved the Jerkop again, pushing him right up to the edge of the table and directly into the odorous clouds of death and shit wafting up from the bodies of Cera and the Sonee. Either the Sonichu couldn't smell the horrible stench, or he and the Combo had spent so much time in the Mayor's office that it had become familiar to them. "Now spill the beans, you stupid jerk! Where are you hiding Rosechu? Where are the children?" Conjuring another Vine Whip, he began whirling it back and forth in the air. "C'mon, tell us!"

"No, no, no!" Chandler interjected before Wild could start beating his prisoner to death. "Dat is not tha important thing, Wild!" Panting and sweating profusely, he nearly collapsed onto the card table. "Now, uh, I have been VERY busy dealin' with tha False Blue an' tha TrollBusters an' dat Decepti-Clone Rosey an' Max an quote-unquote 'Julie' an' dat slander video an' all tha stress…" Reaching for a cup of orange liquid sitting on the table, he turned around and began to gaze at the Sailor Moon poster taped on the wall beside his throne. "So, uh, I think I found a way to make Sarah…uh, Cera Rosey come back ta life an' undo dat NON-CANONING crap y'all made me do unta her!"

"ARCEUS! FUCK! FUCK! HURRRRRGGGHHH!" Kevin collapsed to his hands and knees, retching onto the filthy carpet as the Mayor unzipped his pants to perform the unspeakable deed.

Fortunately for him, by the time he had finished, so had Chandler. Weak and exhausted, Kevin attempted to crawl away, but before he could get three feet, Wild's gloved hand closed around the neck of his jacket and pulled upward, hauling him back onto his feet just in time to see Chandler pour the cup's contents out onto the smashed Sonee corpse, drenching the dead baby chu in a sizzling, bubbling mixture of CWC Orange Soda and his own "comeuppance".

At first, nothing happened. The orange substance dripped down the Sonee's fur, soaking into the ripped skin and split flesh like any regular liquid would. Whatever form of the bioweapon Kevin and Jexis had injected Cera with, this wasn't it. Kevin couldn't even begin to fathom how the research team at Hogwash had been able to create one of the most frighteningly destructive elements in history from mere soda and semen, and yet here he was; a witness to its conception.

Smoke was rising from the larval Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, wisping and curling upward as the Orange Soda bubbled and frothed and congealed into a jellylike material. As Kevin, Wild, Patti-Chan, and Chandler watched, the goo seeped through each of the Sonee's injuries, pushing itself inside as if the liquid itself was a living organism. For all the Jerkop knew, it probably was.

Another moment passed. Then, unbelievably, the little chu's body began to heal. One by one, the torn folds of fuzzy skin on its belly curled back toward each other, knitting together as fresh skin, muscle, and fat grew in a matter of seconds. Its shattered skull ballooned back into a melon-like shape, its stumpfeet and armstubs reconnected with its pelvis and torso, and a muffled crackling sounded from within the chubby little body as dozens of broken bones repaired themselves.

"Guh…guhhh…gughughgguhgughhhhggghhh…GGGUUUUGGGGGHH HHEEEEEEEE!" A low gurgle rose inside the Sonee's throat, growing louder and louder until it had reached the level of a high-pitched shriek. The baby chu began to move, flailing with its bare stumpfeet and pounding its stubby limbs against the table as it squealed and screamed. "GOO-GEEEEEEE! SONEE! SONEEEEEE! SONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Huh. Don't…uh, don't be all scared like dat, 'lil baaaay-beeee." Wiping a nonexistent tear from his eye, Chandler reached down and plucked the reborn Sonee from the table. It squealed in surprise and began struggling and kicking as the Mayor raised a hand and began clumsily petting its soft fur. "It's, ah, all gonna be okey-dokey now, uh…" He paused for a moment, pondering what sort of name he could call the baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. "Robbie Two! Nah, uh, how 'bout Robby, or Robey, or…Robee! You are Robee Sonee, Robbie Sonee's 'lil cousin!"

"Sonee!" squeaked Robee, and wrapped his armstubs around Chandler's sleeve. "Goo-goo!"

Speechless at the incredible bastardization of science playing out before him, Kevin silently and carefully began scanning the room for something, anything he could use to kill or incapacitate Wild and Patti-Chan before they could react. Running back to get the SCAR-H was out of the question. Wild would kill him before he could set foot outside the office, and that was only if Chandler's reanimated bionic abomination of a guard dog didn't eviscerate him first. There had to be something. There just had to be something…

The knife.

Unable to believe his eyes, Kevin nearly let out a yell of shock as he stared down at the familiar blade. George's knife had been lying right beside Cera's remains, but he hadn't noticed it until then. It all made sense now…the Post-It note, the ruined Sonichu anthology… Chandler had obviously confiscated anything suspicious from Sonichu and Rosechu's bedroom in the wake of Operation Hedgeclipper. But if that was the case…where had the dead Sonee come from?

"Well den," the Mayor stated happily, "now dat we know dat tha Orange Soda made Robee all better, we can use it on Cera an' make her all better!" He reached for the bottle and poured a second helping of soda into the plastic cup he had just masturbated into, then smirked. "See, now dat is why you are WRONG, Kevin! I am tha Mayor of CWCville, an' my navy can make tha…"

Gritting his teeth, Kevin made his move. It was the most disgusting thing he would ever do in his entire life, but if he was going to make it out of the Shopping Center alive, it was a necessity. With one swift lunge, he snatched up the hunting knife from the table and leapt back, wrapping an arm across Chandler's sweaty manboobs and jamming the knife against his jugular vein.

"What the…" Wild's fused eyes bulged as he realized what had happened. As fast as the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was in terms of physical speed, he still hadn't been quick enough to stop the Jerkop. "HOLY F***ING GODJESUS! CHRISTIAN! LET HIM GO, YOU TROLL!"

"LET MY MASTER GO!" shrieked Patti-Chan, conjuring a ball of green energy around her fist.

"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Kevin roared as he heaved Chandler backward, fighting the urge to vomit. The smell wafting from the Mayor had reached a new level of nauseating. "YOU MOVE ONE FUCKING INCH AND I'LL KILL HIM, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Oddly enough, Chandler didn't scream. A high-pitched whine began in his throat, growing and growing in its volume and intensity the further the Jerkop pulled him toward the door. For the first time in his life, Sonichu wasn't there to protect him. Magi-Chan wasn't there. Punchy wasn't there. Bubbles wasn't there. Angelica wasn't there. Rocky wasn't there. Anna couldn't help him, even if she'd wanted to. Neither Patti-Chan nor Wild dared to save him out of fear that Kevin would actually follow through on his threat. Alone, pathetic, and helpless against the threat of the Jerkop's blade, Chandler couldn't even do what he did best in stressful situations. His bowels were empty, utterly empty. There was, quite simply, nothing he could do but cry.

"I'm ending this," Kevin growled as he hauled the blubbering Mayor away. Robee held on tight to Chandler's flabby arm, screaming "WAAAAAAHHHHHH!" over and over again in a fit of confusion and stress. "This is it, you fat sack of shit. End of the line." He let out a bitter laugh. "Hell, I didn't even want this. I came here to kill Sonichu, but now I've got you instead."

Chandler stiffened, and his sobbing instantly ceased. "WHAT THA HECK WAS DAT?"

"I said, I came here to kill Sonichu," repeated the Jerkop, pressing the blade down even harder.

"You…" Chandler stuttered. His voice had taken on a dramatic shift from pathetic pleading to pure, burning rage. "YOU'RE TRYIN' TA STEAL THA COPYRIGHT TO MY SONICHU!"

Kevin couldn't believe what he was hearing. The Mayor was now facing a brutal execution and several decades' worth of merciless torture, and all he could think about was how he was going to lose copyright control of a character he hadn't even invented. It was unreal. Simply unreal.

"Yeah…" he replied cruelly. "Yeah, I am. And I'll do it, too. I'm gonna take your copyrights to Sonichu and Rosechu and all the rest of your furry freak friends." He chuckled. "Oh wait. None of that's even gonna matter when they're all DEAD."

"URRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Chandler screamed, thrashing around in absolute fury and jerking his head back. Taken off guard, Kevin felt the greasy mop of hair connect with his face, and instinctively pulled backward to keep a grip on the prisoner. Too late he felt his hand close around something soft and fuzzy. Glancing down, the Jerkop's eyes widened in shock as he realized that he was now holding Robee instead of the Mayor's arm. Chandler twisted away, his fat stomach and manboobs jiggling as he lurched around to face Kevin and slammed both of his hands together in an all-too-familiar gesture.

"SONEEEEEEEE!" screamed Robee, beating the Jerkop's hand with his armstubs. "SONEE!"

"Ha!" panted Chandler. "Not even YOU can destroy my Love Quest, Kevin Shaw!" Squeezing his eyes shut in immense concentration, he began moving his mouth as if speaking, but no words emerged. Instead, Kevin could hear something speaking in his head…Chandler's voice.

"Hear me, Sonichus an' Rosechus of tha Chaotic Combo!" announced the psychic broadcast. "Good has triumphed over tha' heart-shattering forces of evil an' tha King of tha Internet Trolls, Kevin Shaw, has been defeated! He will now face CWCville justice, an' I have judged him…"

"NO! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU MORON?!" another voice broke in. "YOU IDIOT! YOU UTTER CHARLATAN! CLOSE THE LINK! CLOSE THE LINK BEFORE SHE-"

"…guilty!" The Mayor opened his eyes and drew a deep breath. "CURSE…YE…HA…ME…"

Kevin glared straight ahead, matching Chandler's gaze with his own. No more time. No more chances. Nothing between him and death. He'd fucked it all up, and now he had to pay the price.

"…HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

It was like being struck by a speeding train. Kevin felt his body leave the ground as the energy blast slammed into Robee, splattering the tiny Sonee into a thick chunky stain that covered his shirt, his jacket and the front of his pants. Unbelievably, the baby chu had absorbed the full brunt of Chandler's Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack, leaving Kevin to deal with the residual kinetic energy. Unfortunately for the Jerkop, that still meant getting hurled straight through the wall.

CRASH! CRUNCH! Kevin flew backward, smashing through wooden beams and drywall alike as his body took the full force of the impact. Thankfully, the large amount of moisture and mold that had built up in the Mayor's office over the years had left even the biggest of the wooden supports weak enough to splinter and break under a relatively small amount of force. It was only through some small miracle that the Jerkop's spine and ribcage stayed together. Still carried onward by the blast, he hit the floor and tumbled backwards a good twenty yards before his journey was abruptly halted by the opposite wall of the conference room.

Opening his eyes, Kevin let out a weak cough and rolled onto his gore-covered stomach. Anna McLerran was right where he'd left her, albeit much paler than before. She'd lost a lot of blood, and Chandler sure as hell wasn't going to make sure she got proper medical attention. Not when there was Animal Crossing to be played. Wild and Patti-Chan would be attending to Chris for at least two to three minutes, given how much he was bound to whine and complain about all the stress that Kevin had put him through. If he grabbed Anna now, he could drag her to the elevator and head for the ground floor before the Mayor even realized he was still alive…

Ding!

"SHAW!"

Kevin froze, and slowly looked toward the open elevator. He knew that voice. Every human and chu in CWCville knew that voice. It was the absolute last voice he wanted to hear at the moment.

And it seemed that Chandler's broadcast hadn't been completely useless, after all.

Sonichu stepped forth from the elevator, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes blazing with fury, his cheekspots crackling with a storm of sparks that would have made Nikola Tesla proud. Kevin weakly reached toward the SCAR-H, desperately stretching his hand out to grab the weapon, but to no avail. It was too far away, and all he had in terms of weaponry was George's knife. His strength had failed him, and the last few drops of adrenaline in his body were fading away.

"I REMEMBER YOU, SHAW!" shouted Sonichu in a hoarse, broken voice…a voice that had been through a lifetime's worth of unbearable sorrow and irreplaceable loss in the span of a few hours. "I KNOW YOU NOW! YOU SLAUGHTERED MY CHILDREN! YOU MURDERED MY HEARTSWEET ROSEY! YOU DESTROYED MY FAMILY! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" Sobbing hysterically, the chu squeezed his fused eyes shut as bitter tears poured down his furry face. "YOU KILLED THEM ALL! YOU KILLED THEM ALL, YOU F***KING B-TARD! CHRISTINE AND CERA AND ROBBIE AND ROSEY! ALL DEAD! OH, GODJESUS, YOU BUTCHER! YOU MURDERER! YOU HEARTLESS, BABY-KILLING SON OF A B-DOG!"

No way out. No way out. The terrifying mantra pounded through Kevin's skull again and again as he dragged his battered body inch by inch toward the assault rifle. Wild and Patti-Chan burst into the conference room, both shouting words of encouragement to Sonichu as he advanced on the fallen PVCC operative. For the first time in the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's life, he could take all the time he wanted to deal with his most hated enemy.

"Robbie…Robbie's birthday is in two days," Sonichu wept, leaning on the wall and pounding his fist against the unyielding surface until cracks appeared in the paint. "We were…Rosey and I had it all planned out…there was going to be a big party; Father and the Combo were gonna be there…Rosey was going to bake him a big cake with…with blue frosting and yellow lightning bolts; we…we were going to give him a new pair of running shoes…and a little PSP of his very own…so he could play with his sisters…" He took a deep breath, but immediately broke down again. "GODJESUS! F**K YOU, SHAW! YOU GOD-DANG JERKOP; I WILL KILL YOU! I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD AND SHATTER YOUR HEART AND ZAP YOU UNTIL YOU ARE NOTHING BUT ASH, YOU MURDERER!" Raising his fist to charge a Thunderpunch, he let out a bloodcurdling scream and dashed toward Kevin. "HI-YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"No."

A rippling sphere of purple energy exploded in the center of the room, reaching outward with a pair of near-invisible tendrils to snatch the two wounded humans. Kevin felt something like a steel cable wrap around his chest, heaving him and Anna into the air a split second before Sonichu's punch would have crushed his skull. Through a thick blur, he could see a tiny creature floating at the center of the pulsating energy mass, its arms outstretched, its pure, white eyes glowing through the violet screen.

"You are part of me, Father," a little girl's voice echoed in his mind. "And I see what you see."

The world collapsed in on itself. Kevin felt himself pulled through oblivion, spiraling past vast stretches of empty, whirling space for a single second before…

WHUMP! The sidewalk rose to meet him, and suddenly there was nothing binding him anymore. Seconds later, Anna appeared beside him, lying motionless on her back and breathing weakly through her mouth. Above them, the tiny figure pulsed once, then vanished into the frigid night, leaving both the Jerkop and the unconscious loyalist alone in the middle of whatever alleyway it had dropped them off in.

"Oh God!" a man shouted with ecstatic glee as footsteps approached from behind Kevin. "Oh my God! She did it! She did it! I thought the link wouldn't stay open long enough! YES! YES!"

"What…" the operative moaned. "What's…where's…what…happened?"

"Hey!" The speaker appeared, hurriedly kneeling by his side and pressing a hand against the side of his neck to check his pulse. "It's okay, Kevin! It's okay! Aki managed to get you out before Magi-Chan could block her!" He paused. "Oh, God, I'm rambling now. I just…I'll explain everything. The important thing is, you're safe! Don't worry, everything's okay now!"

"What?" Kevin's eyes suddenly snapped open as he realized who was talking. "DEXTER? Holy shit! I thought…the whole squad thought you…HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Yeah, I guess I am," Dexter Booth chuckled, grinning from ear to ear as he patted Kevin on the head. "Aki came back for me just after you guys left. We've been on the run ever since." Holding out a hand, he grasped Kevin's and slowly helped him to his feet. "Easy. Easy. I saw a few seconds of what happened in there…you, my friend, are pretty damn lucky to be alive."

Kevin gaped, still not fully able to believe what had just happened. "How?"

"Well, if Aki's right, Steve, Kuri, Serge and a few squads are just getting ready to…oh…blow up the CWCville Pokémon Center," announced Dexter. "And we've got a bit of a long walk before that." He looked over at Anna. "What the hell happened to her?"

"She used to be Chandler's propaganda director," coughed Kevin, leaning against the alley wall to catch his breath. "Then she took a bullet in the knee. Is she gonna die?"

Dexter shook his head. "Probably not. Still, we'd better bring her along." Glancing around, he bent down, gingerly picked up Anna's body, and slung it over his shoulder. "Come on. I'll tell you what we've been up to on the way there."