CWCollateral: A Tale of the Resistance
by Manajerkop
Chapter 15: Loose Ends
February 24, 2009, West CWCville, subdivisions, CWCville Shopping Center, Mayor's office, 10:21 p.m.
Christian Weston Chandler was currently sitting in all of two things, the first of which was a state of pure, immeasurable terror at the assassination attempt he'd just survived. The second thing, fairly enough, was a freshly soiled pair of briefs. As was his nature, the former problem was affecting him slightly more than the latter.
In the span of just a few minutes, he had nearly died. Kevin Shaw had come within a hair's breadth of killing him, of ending his GodJesus-given reign as Mayor of CWCville. If he had been slightly less high-functioning, he might not have been smart enough to escape with his life. The thought was enough to give him all the comfort he needed, however. It was simply a proof positive that he, the true and honest Christian Weston Chandler, had all the smarts and the strength he needed to overcome any obstacles that the vile trolls threw in his direction.
And what an idiot Shaw was! That he had even thought he was in any way worthy of being Slaweel's successor…for lack of a better phrase, it was putting Chris's gears through a great deal of grinding. Not only had this weak little Jerkop staged the sloppiest trolling attempt he had seen in all his years as the Mayor, Shaw had been dumb enough to fall into his cunning trap!
Chris smirked and wiped his sweaty forehead. He would never be so naïve as to-
"No! NO! Where did he…NONONONOOOO! SHAW! SHAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!"
Sonichu's hysterical scream of rage sounded from the reception room, followed by a barrage of self-bleeped curses and agonized sobbing. Bewildered as to why on earth his most trusted and powerful creation had been reduced to such a state, Chris lugged his exhausted, flabby body to the door. He had blasted Shaw through the wall with his strongest Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha, so all that was left was for Sonichu to deal the well-deserved final blow.
On the other side, Wild and Patti-Chan stood dumbstruck, staring at Sonichu while the original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon dashed back and forth in a frenzy of whirling spikes and violent blasts of electricity. Allison Amber's desk now lay in splinters, along with all of the furniture that had survived the chaotic shootout in the reception room. The hero of CWCville had been denied his vengeance for the very first time in his life, and he wasn't taking it well at all.
"OF ALL THE F***ING DIRTY CHEAP F***ING TRICKS…RRRAAAAGGHH!" Sonichu lunged at the window in a Spin Dash, raking it with his razor-sharp spines and scoring several deep cuts across the bulletproof glass. "YOU GOD-DANGED JERKOP SCUMBAG, YOU!" Raising a gloved fist, he shook it violently at the ceiling. "I WILL FIND YOU, KEVIN SHAW! I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU ARE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!"
"Sonichu!" Wild yelled, running forward to calm his friend. "Sonichu, listen to me!" Grabbing the yellow Electric Hedgehog Pokemon's arm, he spun Sonichu around to face him. "Look, you have no reason to be angry; Rosechu is not even dead, and the kids are going to be okay, 'cause Father will not let anything happen to them!" His face hardened into an expression of vengeful anger at the memory of Simonla's death. "Y'all need to think about how lucky you are; your heartsweet didn't get BRUTALLY MURDERED BY THOSE GOD-DANG TROLLS!"
Sonichu paused, whirled around, and immediately fixed Wild with a blazing glare of pure fury.
"ROSEY IS DEAD!" he shrieked, his fused eyes nearly bulging from their sockets. "MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! SHAW BETRAYED THEM ALL AND MURDERED MY FAMILY, WILD! YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU DIDN'T SEE WHAT FATHER DID TO CER-"
"NAIGAN KOKAN RAGIN FLAKAN!" Wild yelled, spasming uncontrollably in a severe fit of randomness. From time to time, these outbursts would happen in situations of stress or surprise. "Um, I mean, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, SONICHU! FATHER SAYS CERA IS STILL-"
"Well, well, well! Mister Shaw!" Chris burst into the reception room and placed his hands on his hips triumphantly. The unmistakable aura of fresh human feces wafted in a few seconds later. "Now den, uh, do y…have you got any last requests an' words for…before I give y'all your justly desserted-"
The Mayor paused mid-sentence and looked around in confusion, before noticing the distinct lack of a defeated Kevin. In fact, the Jerkop wasn't even there. The only occupants besides the dead True Blue soldiers were Sonichu, Wild, and Patti-Chan. Chris quickly looked over his shoulder, lurched forward a couple of steps, and let out a very long, very annoyed stress-sigh.
"I shoulda known," he continued, keeping up his false bravado as he always did. "I mean, uh, I knew dat COWARD would just run an' hide behind tha mother's skirt of...of whatever it was dat did tha thing jus' now." He looked from Wild to Patti-Chan, then smirked. "Just as well, dat jus-"
"FATHER!" There was no sign of concern for Chris's grievances in Sonichu's voice now. Only pain remained, pain and bitter sorrow for the wife and children he had lost. "FATHER, WHY?"
The Mayor sighed again. "Now look, uh, Sonichu, I have been-"
"WHY DID YOU THINK PUTTING CERA INTO YOUR…YOUR A-HOLE WOULD HELP?" Sonichu screamed, clawing at his spiky head hard enough to draw blood. His mind was teetering on the brink of self-destruction, and as if the events of the past few hours hadn't been enough, his family's murderer had escaped without justice being served! Nothing like this had ever happened to him before…the villains were always supposed to just give up after he defeated them in a fair fight with the help of the Combo! "FATHER, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?"
"Well, den I am sorry I did dat!" Chris puffed himself up in what he assumed would make him look more intimidating and leaderlike, but only succeeded in making his midsection look even fatter than it already was. "But I, uh, y'all should know dat I was under a lot of stress at tha' time! An' besides, Kevin's tha one who left the note, so y'all should be angry at him, not me!"
Sonichu forced his eyes shut, squeezing another pair of tears down his already soaking face. Chris's words had comforted him somewhat, but no amount of denial could erase what he had seen in 14 Brunchville Lane…or in the atrium of the Shopping Center. But now he had to be strong! The city needed him to save them from the trolls and defeat the horrid PVCC that had slaughtered Rosechu, his children, Simonla, and so many innocent Electric Hedgehog Pokémon!
"Y-you're right, Father," he murmured, panting heavily as sweat dripped from his brow. "I…I don't know what came over me."
"An' besides, his dumb trollin' plan has failed!" Chris continued, clearly not listening to Sonichu in the slightest. "I have been VERY successful in resurrect-in, uh, creatin' Robee back ta life, an' also I was about ta do tha' same for Cera before Shaw tried ta MURDER me like tha cowardly trollin' stupid dat he is! He, he had a knife ta my throat an' erryting, an' I did not like dat at all!"
The Mayor's ranting went unnoticed by Sonichu. The very mention of bringing his children back to life had spread through his mind like a virus, plunging him into a joyous vision. Rosechu and the kids - all three of them - were alive, laughing with him, embracing him, cheering and crying in blissful happiness as he held them close. And on the ground behind his family lay Kevin Shaw, the troll who had betrayed them all. Defeated and helpless, he had been stuffed inside a big Pikachu piñata, which Robbie, Cera, and Christine were taking turns whacking at with sticks.
"So den, uh, now dat Kevin has run back ta tha PVCC," explained Chris, "he can NO LONGER stop us from bringin' Cera back from tha NON-CANON state he made me put her in!" Sighing, he turned and stepped back into his office, toward the table that had once held both Robee and Cera's bodies. Only the latter remained, still as crushed and befouled as ever. With a smug smile, the Mayor locked the door behind him and reached for the bottle of CWC Orange Soda.
Lost in his fantasy world, Sonichu never even noticed the sound of Chris unzipping his pants.
"Christian?" Patti-Chan knocked on the door confusedly. "Mayor, what are you…"
"I, uh, I need a minute here!" The reply sounded labored, close to exhaustion. "Y'all are breakin' my concen…uh, jus' gimme a few seconds ta gather tha speshul ingredient for Cera…"
Obediently, the cyborg dog waited. Wild, perhaps too bewildered to even question what on earth was going on, remained standing at Sonichu's side. None of the three creatures even suspected what they might find when the Mayor had finished his "work", but knowing Chris, he would undoubtedly find some way of making Cera Rosey just as precious and cute as she had always…
"Unf! UNF! UGH! UUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH!"
"Father?" Sonichu snapped out of his dream state in an instant, rushing for the Mayor's office as Chris's grunts and moans reached a crescendo. Drawing back his fist for a mighty punch, he launched himself at the locked door…even though the large hole in the wall where Kevin had crashed through was a mere two yards to the right of it. "Father! Hang on, I'm coming!"
"GUGUGHGHUGUGUGUHUGGUGHGUGHUGGHUHGHGH!"
WHAM! The door nearly flew off its hinges as Sonichu burst into the office, his cheekspots sparking with electrical energy. Wild and Patti-Chan were hot on his heels, storming in seconds later to see Chris staring down in shock at the reeking mess that had formerly been Cera's body.
At first, it seemed as if the Mayor's miracle had worked its magic once again. The Rosey's skinless remains were bubbling and melting together just as Robee's had, but something didn't seem right about the way they were reforming. Her head was pulsating, her tiny skull splintering as great lumps of skin and new bone bulged from it like a clump of infected tumors. The rest of her torso and her smashed, melted limbs were no better off, but at least they were relatively the same size as they'd been before. Cera's head, however, was growing immensely in the span of only a few seconds. Like some hideous water balloon, it continued swelling and swelling, expanding outward until it had reached nearly four times the size of her fat little body. Orange liquid leaked from tiny cuts and ruptures in her reformed skin, sizzling against her skin as they dripped from her swollen head onto the surface of the card table.
"Gwuhhhh…" moaned the malformed Rosey, flailing its disproportionate limbs and attempting to heave its massive skull off the table. "Gwwwooooooeeeeeeeseeeeeeeeey…"
"Christian…" Patti-Chan gasped, shivering in revulsion as she leaned in for a better look at the abomination that lay before her. "Oh, God. Christian, what is happe-"
"WOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHH!" A bellowing roar exploded from the Rosey's throat as it rolled over and opened its dripping, cavernous maw towards the bionic dog-creature. Before Sonichu, Wild, or Chris could even react, a sizzling jet of orange goo sprayed from the beast's mouth, drenching Patti-Chan's chest and throat in a nightmarish cocktail of mutagens.
"OH MY GOD!" shrieked Patti, staggering backwards and screaming in horror as her reanimated flesh began to sizzle and bubble. "OH, GODJESUS! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!"
Neither the two chus or the Mayor moved an inch. Frozen with shock, they could only stare as an array of tiny boils and pustules erupted from the infected flesh. It was dissolving away, revealing the robotic mechanisms and metal plating that formed Patti-Chan's nightmarish endoskeleton. Desperate to save herself, the reanimated dog activated her retractable steel claws and began slashing at her chest in a frenzied panic, ripping off great pieces of corrupted skin and hurling them away before the Orange Soda reaction could spread even further across her body. One of the larger chunks of flesh smacked against a pile of Legos and instantly reformed itself into a tiny, half-melted dog for a few seconds before exploding in a shower of teeth. Two more had become strange blobby masses of decayed meat, and now lay squirming around on the floor and barking up at the astonished onlookers with their lamprey-like mouths.
"F…FATHER!" screamed Sonichu, his jaw hanging open so wide that his cheeks might have split open. "FATHER, WHAT THE HEAVY METAL ROCK BAND HAPPENED TO CERA?"
"GWWOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
By now, the Rosey had managed to drag its massive head to the edge of the table. Roaring and snarling in a frighteningly loud voice, it rolled off and landed on the filthy carpet with a dull whump, then began lurching around in search of more things to attack. Unbelievably, its head was growing even larger and more melted, and had even turned a grotesque orange and brown color. Cera now resembled a small pumpkin attached to a Rosey's body, and even then, the head wasn't much more than a giant toothless mouth now. The smell of artificial orange flavoring and the reeking stench of human waste wafted off of her skin, filling the entire room with a choking mix of the two odors. Meanwhile, the reanimated pieces of Patti-Chan's body continued to explore the office, sniffing at things, whining to each other, and occasionally stopping to urinate tiny sprays of Orange Soda onto Chris's toys.
For the first time in his life, Sonichu felt something white-hot blazing in his head, a sensation of despair, of horror…of betrayal. Chris had told him that Cera would live again, but this…this abomination was nothing like his beloved little daughter! What had gone wrong? Why was everything giving him so…much…STRESS?
"Huh…heh…" he choked, his eyes fixed on the swollen aberration of flesh that had once been his oldest child. "Fffff…what the f*…fffffffff*******…wha…WHAT…WHAT…THE…F*…"
"Father! We need to get out of here!" yelled Wild as Patti-Chan hurriedly backed away from the miniature dog mutants that had sprung from her body. "FATHER! WE NEED TO GET OUT-"
"FFF*******…" Sonichu shrieked, digging his fingers into his face hard enough to draw blood. "FATHER…WHAT…THE…FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!"
For a moment, Chris stared at his creation in horrified silence. No. It couldn't have happened. Not now. Not after he had spent so many years at his side. Not after the genetic reconditioning. Not after shaping Sonichu into a perfect son, a perfect Pokémon, a hero his city deserved.
And yet, he'd heard everything. Even he couldn't deny it now. Sonichu's self-censor had failed.
No… Not now…
"GWOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"R…r…" Chris stuttered as he felt the crotch of his pants fill with a warm, wet stain. "RUN!"
West CWCville, Lower West District, CWCville Pokémon Center, 10:25 p.m.
"…from what we've been seeing in the eastern districts between Factory and Sunnyside, it appears that the response to the PVCC's sabotage of Mayor Chandler's now-infamous announcement has had a…well, a rather impressive effect on the public. I can certainly say that it had one on all us here at FQX News. Greta, your thoughts?"
"Thanks, Milo," Greta Squall replied with a nervous laugh, turning to her co-anchor as the FQX special news report played out on the small TV in the Pokémon Center's main office. "Well, seeing as I was there for the Mayor's…display…I can't say too much about what CWCville's reaction will be. The chus, obviously, aren't taking this very well, and at the same time, we're getting some reports of widespread rioting from the east side all the way to as far as Lightning and Zappin'. The city's remaining active police force and the Chaotic Combo have both been deployed to quell the protests, but as for the recent incidents in regard to the True Blue, we suspect that the lack of organization on the EHPF's part is due to the unexpected…"
Clutching her aching head in both hands, Nurse Joy squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed as the piercing screams of wounded homebred Sonees and Roseys assaulted her ears like the wailing of the damned. The Center was packed to the brim, filled with entire families of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon in various states of stress and injury. And every single one of them wanted immediate care. She was the only one left of all the medical staff in the building – the other doctors and surgeons had left hours ago, and the night shift hadn't even shown up yet. Joy knew she couldn't leave, not at such a critical time. The last thing she wanted was to have to repeatedly explain to the chus that no, she could not treat all of their precious babies at the same time, and then have to put up with the same old accusations of trolling, laziness, and slander. In fact, she was more than willing to bet that half of her potential patients had been injured through their own inanity and clumsiness. Sonees and Roseys were extremely predictable in that regard.
A fist pounded against the office door, sending jolts of panic through the young nurse's body. Either the chus had decided to take matters into their own hands, or the night shift had somehow, miraculously arrived. She hoped to Arceus that it was the latter. Otherwise, she was doomed.
Bracing herself, Joy unlocked the door, put on her bravest possible smile, and pulled it open. Fortunately for her, the visitor was human. Unfortunately, though, he was also…
"About time we got a response from this damn place," growled Bill Schwartz as he stormed into the office, pushing the startled Joy out of the way as two EHPF guards took up positions by the door. He scanned the room, then pointed at her accusingly. "You! Nurse! Where are they?"
"W…who?" asked Joy, looking from the loyalist scientist to the two Sonichus in fear.
"Don't try that bullshit on me," Bill snapped. "The whole city's falling apart, we've got at least two hundred injured babies out in the waiting room, and you're the only one here." He slammed his fist against the desk. "And I'm running out of patience. WHERE ARE THEY?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" screamed the nurse, frantically wiping tears from her terrified eyes. "I…I called them, I tried to call anyone I could, but no one's answering! Please, for the love of Arceus, don't make me go out there! I can't treat them all by myself!"
"Now y'all see here!" the first EHPF officer replied angrily, waving a finger back and forth in front of Joy's face. "Those are our babies out there, and y'all had better make sure they get good, stress-free treatment so they can grow up big and strong and straight, like us!"
"Yeah!" agreed his partner. "And if ya don't do it right now, y'all ain't any better than those dang trollin' stupids in the PVCC! You'll lose all your Respect Points, that's for dang sure!"
Joy looked to Bill in despair, pleading with him to see reason. "Please…I can't…I need more people to help…you know I can't do this all by myself…"
"That's not my problem, Nurse." muttered the scientist. "Now if you'll excuse me, I believe you have a job to do." He nodded to the Sonichus. "Escort her to the waiting room, Officers."
Stunned into silence, Joy meekly followed Bill out of the room as the EHPF chus each grabbed one of her shoulders and led her along. A chorus of relieved sighs and "YAY!"s greeted her, and for a second, she considered making a dash for the cyanide syringe she'd hidden in her desk. But no, the Sonichus would shock her unconscious before she could get halfway down the hall. And considering that she had witnessed what Bill had done to his former PVCC colleagues during the live execution of the Asperpedia Four, she wasn't feeling particularly courageous at the moment.
"Hey!" shouted a worried-looking Rosechu, and held out a bruised, bleeding Sonee. "Hey, you! We were here first; get my little treasure's Heart Level back to 100%!"
"No, we were first!" a Sonichu and his wife shouted together as their two hurt Roseys squealed and cried next to them. "And we have gottwo babies that need urgent Fuzzy-Wuzzies!"
"Well, my children have been infected with Asperger's by some dirty troll Jerkops!" another Sonichu insisted, pointing to a Sonee and a Rosey who were happily playing their PSPs with no sign of stress or injury whatsoever. "That is much worse than any of your supposed 'problems'!"
"Y'all are just tryin' ta get special treatment; I do not appreciate that!" the first Rosechu yelled. "I am a true independent woman withhonest feelings; y'all need to check your dang privilege if you think you are going to make my poor baby suffer from the stress any longer!"
"No! They can all get Fuzzy-Wuzzies and treatment at the same time!" a Rosechu exclaimed, as if it was the single most brilliant idea she'd ever thought up. Sadly, it probably was. "They have to make all of our kids feel better, because the Mayor would never allow our precious babies to feel stress! Y'all don't believe that trollin' fake video; he and the Combo will find the kidnapped Sonichu children and bring them back! GodJesus and the Bear are watching over them all!"
GodJesus and the Bear weren't watching when the PVCC slaughtered your little idols, bitch, Joy thought, gritting her teeth as the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon continued shouting at her and each other. One way or another, she was going to have to start treating them all, and that was only if they didn't all rush her at once. Knowing the chus, they would all keep insisting that their babies were the most special of all, and the ensuing chaos would most likely end up killing her outright.
"…leaving at least two dozen baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon injured and seven dead in the struggle," continued Greta Squall over the cacophony of impatient chus. "A group of EHPF officers managed to push back the mob before they could reach any more of the children, and as of now, the entire apartment block has been locked down. This has been only one of nearly thirty reported incidents of violence in the past hour…" She looked up, confused, as someone passed her a sheet of paper from offscreen. "Excuse me a moment. It seems that…I've just been handed a special bulletin. We're now going live to our eye in the sky. Darryl, over to you."
"Thanks, Greta!" a male reporter answered as the camera cut to an overhead view of the city. Joy noticed that traffic had stopped dead, apart from the flashing lights of EHPF patrol cars zooming through the streets. The helicopter's searchlight, however, was focused on something else…a small delivery truck, on fire and barreling down the road uncontrollably. "We're just above Lower West now, and it looks like we've got an out-of-control truck heading straight for the CWCville Pokémon Center. Whether this is another PVCC terror attack or some-"
Silence swept across the massed Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Slowly, each of the Sonichus and Rosechus in the room turned toward the window and stared out in disbelief at the approaching pair of headlights.
Moments later, utter panic set in.
"Son of a BITCH!" roared Bill, tearing his eyes away from the newscast and waving frantically to the chus. "EVERYONE OUT! GET OUT OF THE BUILDING NOW!"
"OH MY GODJESUS!" shrieked a Rosechu, and dramatically flung herself into the closest Sonichu's arms. "SAVE ME! SAVE ME FROM THE TROLLS!"
"No! The Mayor will save us!" insisted one of the EHPF officers. "He will send the Combo!"
"Quick!" another Sonichu yelled, and pointed to the biggest TV screen. "Change the channel!"
"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! MOMMEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Squeezing her way out from between her chu escorts, Joy sprinted away with a frightened yell. She only had a few seconds, maybe twenty at most. If she could just get to her desk before…
HONNNNNNK! HONNNNNNNNNK!
In the moments before the truck smashed through the front door and took out the entire lobby in one colossal explosion, the frightened nurse could have sworn she saw a tiny flesh-colored creature with scraggly green hair and a little pair of sunglasses clinging to the steering wheel and grinning evilly as it piloted the kamikaze vehicle toward the helpless cluster of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Tearing her eyes away from the oncoming truck, she vaulted over the front of her desk and hit the floor, curling herself into a ball to await the inevitable blast.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed a Sonichu as he and his heartsweet immediately abandoned their two wailing babies and dashed for the exit. Outside, the truck was plowing through the line of chus, smashing them apart in a shower of blood and limbs. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! RU-"
"Deal with it," an electronic voice giggled over the horrified screaming. "WHAT THE FU-"
Lower West District, four blocks from the CWCville Pokémon Center, 10:26 p.m.
"That's enough. Hold on," panted Kevin as Dexter hauled Anna McLerran's unconscious body down a snow-covered alley after him. "Goddamnit, this is taking forever. You sure you got her?"
"Yeah. And we can't just leave her here," Booth insisted, checking the bandage that he had applied to the woman's injured leg. "I mean, it's gotta be at least 10 degrees out tonight."
"Fine." Kevin straightened up, feeling several tendons along his spine pop in the process. "But once we get to the Pokémon Center, the chus can take her for all I care." Shifting his grip on Anna's shoulders, he quickly glanced over his shoulder, then looked back to Dexter. "Okay. Now you can start talking. First off, why the hell am I even still alive?" He paused. "No. Scratch that. First, you can go ahead and tell me who this Aki person is."
"Well, for one thing, she's not a person." Dexter grinned. "Remember when we got separated down in the lab? You guys were clearing out those rooms full of cloned Sonees and Roseys?"
"Yeah, I remember. Can we not talk about that?" Kevin shuddered at the memory. "I still don't know how Magi-Chan was able to set all that shit up without anyone in the PVCC knowing."
"Don't ask me," replied Dexter. "So I'm wandering around, trying to find my way back to your squad, when all of a sudden I find what looks like an observation room, past the cell blocks. I go in, and the place is completely red. Walls, floor, ceiling, everything. And right in the middle, there's a big plastic cube with something fuzzy and purple hanging from all these tubes."
"Purple?" Kevin blinked. "Another clone?"
Booth nodded. "I thought it was a testing room or something. But this…this was something new. This was what Magi-Chan had been working towards. This was the final step of his plan. Of course, we didn't learn any of this until we found the second facility…"
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah," Dexter continued. "But here's the short version of what happened. I don't know what came over me, but before I knew it, I hit the purge control and set the Rosey loose. She took one look at me, and it was like she could…like she could talk to me through my thoughts."
"Trust me, you're not the first person to go through something like that," muttered Kevin.
"But anyway, she was scared. I told her she was free, that she could escape and go live on her own, away from CWCville." Booth sighed. "That's why I didn't tell you guys about her. You'd have just killed her like you killed every other Sonee and Rosey in that forsaken fucking place. But Aki…something about her was different. She knew things. She wasn't one of them."
"Where did the name Aki come from?"
"A label on her cell. AKIROSEY. It's the codename they used for her during the experiments. Advanced Kinetic Intelligence Rosey. Magi-Chan hadn't given her a name when I found her."
"Fuck…" Kevin let out a long breath, watching as the steam wafted into the night sky. "I just…"
"I know." Booth patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "It's a lot to take in."
"That's an understatement," replied the Jerkop. "Wait, hang on. If she teleported you out before the facility went up, why didn't you just come to the PVCC? We could've protected you."
"Fear, I guess." Dexter shrugged. "Fear for Aki's safety. Here's the thing about that." He stopped at the end of the alley and held up a hand. "We were wrong. We were all wrong. Aki isn't even a clone of Magi-Chan. See, I found something else in the facility. Manglechu was keeping a record of something called the Passage. And here's where things get…really strange."
Kevin remained silent, but nodded. By now, 'really strange' might as well have been 'normal'.
"When certain species of psychic Pokémon…or, in some cases, humans with access to psychic power…" Dexter's voice had grown rapid, rushed, as if he was trying to hold back an explosion of enthusiasm. "I'm sorry, can we stop for a second? You needto hear this, Kevin."
"Sure." The Jerkop helped his friend place Anna down onto the snowy concrete. "Keep going."
"All right." Booth drew in a deep breath and continued. "Magi-Chan's been working on Passage, the laboratories, all his research, and Chandler knows nothing about it. He's been able to keep all these things off the record…well, until we found the first facility, anyway. But all of the mutants, the duplicate program, the clones, the stolen children…all of it…was just part of a bigger plan."
"Go back to Passage," ordered Kevin. His head already felt like it was going to explode, and this series of revelations weren't exactly helping. "How does this all tie back to Aki?"
Dexter let out a less-than-sane laugh. "It's perfect. It's all just…perfect. Magi-Chan doesn't want any of…this." He gestured wildly, pointing to the alley, the ground, the sky. "Mortality. He hates being trapped in a chu body. No, he's too arrogant to accept that. He knows that someday, he's going to die. Everything dies, even chus. But he might have found a way around that."
Kevin blinked. "He's trying to…find eternal life?"
"No," answered Dexter. "Not some Fountain of Youth bullshit." Drawing a sheet of folded paper from the pocket of his winter coat, he handed it to the Jerkop. "This is what I found. Aki helped me figure it out, and I think I know what he was trying to do with her…and his other daughter."
"Who, Christine?" Kevin unfolded the paper. It was almost incomprehensible - a mess of alien-looking symbols and mathematical equations. "Yeah, he's about three hours too late for that. What's all this writing, anyway? Arabic? Japanese?"
Booth smiled. "Cherokian."
"Don't tell me." Kevin let out a bitter groan. "This has something to do with that Anchuent-"
"What? No!" Dexter exclaimed in frustration. "Let me just…okay, look, there's a lot of history here. I'd have to spend five straight days explaining the Cherokian-Sawabian feud to you, and then there's the elemental energy, the psychic drift, the spirit bonding, the genetic legacy, the-"
"Get…" The Jerkop leaned forward, fixing his friend with a cold glare. "…to the fucking point."
"Right," growled Dexter. "You want the fucking point? Here it is." He pointed to the sheet of paper. "Magi-Chan's trying to create a host body. He knows he can't live forever, but his DNA is too unstable to transfer into anything other than another Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Aki was just his first test subject, nothing more. He was going to begin Phase Two of the Passage as soon as his second subject evolved. In short, he'd be transferring his entire consciousness into her mind."
"Her?" asked Kevin. "He made more Aki clones?"
"You haven't been listening to me." Booth sighed. "Aki isn't his clone. She's…"
"Kevin."
The air in front of the two men seemed to fold inward, converging at a single, bright point of light. Pulsing once, it reformed itself into a violet energy sphere. The tiny figure still floated in the center, but Kevin could see it more clearly than before, when it had saved him from Sonichu.
"Aki? What happened?" Dexter hurried forward to catch the little purple Rosey as it floated into his arms. "You lost him, right? Tell me you lost him."
"Yes." The baby chu's eyes flashed, though her mouth remained closed. Stepping closer, Kevin noticed something odd about Aki. Her body was leaner and less abnormally-shaped than a regular Rosey's, lacking the pudgy baby fat or the malformed, melon-like head of her fellow chu larvae. Stranger still, her arms and legs actually resembled natural limbs, complete with real paws at the ends instead of fingerless armstubs or stumpfeet. She wore no skirt or bow, and instead of a useless fuzzy stub, her tail resembled that of an adult Rosechu's, in miniature. But most striking of all these features was the sleek coat of deep violet fur covering her body. If it hadn't been for everything else, Kevin might have thought Christine Rosey had been resurrected.
"Kevin Shaw…Aki Rosey." Dexter looked from the stunned Jerkop to the little Pokémon in his arms. "Aki, listen, you can't stay here too long. If he finds you and tracks you back to us…"
"We have…time…for this…" The voice was in Kevin's head, like Graduon's. Aki was speaking psychically, and there was no sign of twee-speak in any of her words. She sounded just like any normal little girl, albeit one who had seen and done a lifetime's worth of unspeakable things. "I need him to see. I need him to know the truth if he is to help us."
"Me?" Kevin backed away a few steps, holding out his hands in protest. "Oh no. No. I'm not going through this shit again. Graduon's gone, and I'm not letting anyone else into my head."
Aki floated out of Dexter's grasp, studying the Jerkop closely. Her steady gaze seemed to x-ray him, and her baleful white eyes shone from the darkness as she stared into his.
Finally, she spoke.
"You don't know what lies beyond the void," whispered the psychic Rosey. "Something is buried in your mind, something you'll need to survive the coming storm." She held out an arm, showing Kevin her little paw and four undeveloped claws. "Fall, and the darkness will take you forever."
"Do it, Kevin," urged Dexter. "Please."
Kevin remained motionless, his mind bursting with unanswered questions. It was all happening so quickly that he'd nearly forgotten about the rest of his squad. Were they looking for him? Had they already reached the Pokémon Center? Aki was offering him the answers he so desperately wanted, but what was more important now? Learning about what Magi-Chan wanted with this mutant Rosey clone he'd only just met, or finding the men and women he'd fought beside, suffered beside, and stood beside through the best and worst of the CWCville revolution?
"I…can't," he murmured, and closed his eyes. "Not now. My friends…they need me."
"So be it." Aki drifted forward and placed her paw on the Jerkop's forehead. "You walk a path you don't yet understand, Kevin Shaw." The air around her body shimmered, and the purple sphere of psychic energy appeared once again. "We will meet again, and then, you will know."
Without another word, the Rosey vanished, leaving only a small ripple where she had teleported away. Kevin stood in silence, blinking slowly as he attempted to piece together what had just happened. Behind him, Booth was kneeling at Anna's side, dejectedly checking her body for a pulse. Satisfied, he nodded and heaved the unconscious propaganda director up off the ground.
"I'm sorry." Dexter shot the Jerkop a reassuring look. "I know this has got to be the weirdest day of your life, but…" He hesitated. "You can trust Aki. She saved you from Chandler, after all."
"Yeah, I know," replied Kevin, and exhaled slowly. "We'll talk later, okay? Right now, we sh-"
BOOOOOOOM!
The sky lit up in a flash as a towering fireball rose above the city, casting a flickering orange light onto the clouds above. Kevin and Dexter stared, dumbstruck, as the blinding explosion gave way to a plume of oily black smoke. Car alarms went off by the dozens, and in the distance, the sound of shattering glass mingled with the horrified screams and wails of a hundred chus.
"That's it!" Booth frantically beckoned to the Jerkop. "They just hit the Center! Come on!"
Lower West District, CWCville Pokémon Center, 10:28 p.m.
"OUT OF THE VANS! GO! GO!"
A rush of smoky air struck Steve, Kuri, and Serge at full force as they emerged one by one from the VANguard, filling their nostrils with the familiar odors of charred meat and burning fur. Holding his sleeve across his nose and mouth, the Manajerk signaled to his squadmates to do the same. Behind them, Geoffrey and Leon Richter, Reina Faure, Benjamin Jordan, Maddie Dowell, and the other operatives in the Sea Lions were disembarking as fast as they could, assembling behind the three Honey Badgers while more and more of the PVCC transports pulled up to the blast zone and deployed their own Jerkops. The few civilians left on the street now watched from a safe distance, eager to catch a glimpse of the revolution for themselves.
"Arceus…" Reina gasped, staring in awe at the dozens of charred corpses that decorated the CWCville Pokémon Center's waiting room. "How many were…"
"Not nearly enough," snarled Kuri as she adjusted her tekko-kagi. "Steve! How you doing?"
"Better than good," Steve muttered through his gas mask. "Fuck, that's a lot of smoke. Put something over your faces - cloths, bandanas, goggles, anything." He turned to Richter. "You sure you're okay leaving your guys behind? I mean, Nate's got Jexis and those operatives from Hotaru's squad to look after him."
"Frank and Arthur? They'll be fine!" shouted the Manajerk, and pulled his blue scarf up over his nose. Turning toward the VANguard, he waved to Leon. "All right, that's it! Everyone out?"
"Yeah!" Leon gave his father a thumbs-up. "How do you want to divide up the teams?"
"Give me those two," suggested Steve, and pointed to a pair of Sea Lions. "Jordan and Adams."
"Can't spare Smoker," Richter replied quickly, then looked over his shoulder at the VANguard's driver. "Zerek, keep her here until everyone's out! Steve, you can take Maddie and Benjamin."
Steve nodded. "Fine by me. We'll meet up inside and wipe out the hatchery." He beckoned to the ChinaTown Jerkops, who obediently stepped forward to join him, Serge, and Kuri. "Right. Dowell, Jordan, you're with us. I'm not gonna pretend like you don't know what we just did to Sonichu's family, but just stay focused and we'll get out of this place alive. Any questions?"
Both of the Sea Lions immediately raised their hands.
"Any questions that don't involve Operation Hedgeclipper?"
"Yeah." Maddie pointed at Steve's stomach. "Sir, you…you're bleeding."
"What? No, I'm not…" The Manajerk looked down, surprised. A crimson stain was spreading outwards from the side of his sweatshirt, slowly turning the white cotton a gruesome dark red.
"Arceus!" Jordan grabbed his medical kit and hurriedly unzipped it. "What was it? Shrapnel?"
"No. I just forgot I had this." Reaching into his side pocket, Steve withdrew a gore-stained sheet of yellow and brown fuzz. Blood slowly dripped from the Sonee pelt, sizzling as each drop hit the burning ground and evaporated. "Dammit. Anyone got a…a Ziploc bag or something?"
"Here." The Sea Lion medic rummaged through his bag, then passed the requested item to Steve. "What the hell were you doing with a Sonee skin?" He hesitated. "Wait, don't tell me that's…"
"Yep," grinned Kuri, and gave her squad leader a quick hug around the waist. "Robbie Sonee's."
Both of the Sea Lions were completely lost for words. Serge merely shrugged, rolled his eyes, and heaved Baba Yaga out of the VANguard. In his eyes, Hedgeclipper had been nothing more than another delay. Granted, it was a necessary one, but the Russian man still found no joy in slaughtering infant Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, especially since Rosechu and her spawn had been caught completely off guard. Open combat was a far more appealing way to kill chus.
"Don't want to lose this now," added Steve. "I came up with a pretty good idea for how to put it to good use. Let's just say that it'll be a rather…'spunky' end for Sonichu's little champ."
"How did you…" began Jordan, but was quickly silenced by a glance from Kuri. Behind them, the last of the transports – an armored black pickup - pulled up beside the other PVCC vehicles.
"Jerkops!" Silhouetted against the firelight, Clyde Cash emerged from the truck, his spiky hair slicked back beneath his hood and his spray-tanned face concealed behind a black gas mask. "All squads, purge order! No survivors!" Clenching one hand into a fist, he reached for the holster on his belt and drew a fearsome-looking revolver. "NO SURVIVORS! RISE!"
"NO SURVIVORS!" the crowd of operatives echoed in unison. "RISE! RISE! RISE!"
West CWCville, Lower West District, south of the CWCville Pokémon Center, 10:31 p.m.
"Seriously?" gasped Kevin, struggling to keep up with Dexter as they drew nearer and nearer to the flickering orange glow that had once been the CWCville Pokémon Center. "You don't have a single goddamn pistol? How the fuck did you two even survive this long?"
"Having a Pokémon that can teleport anywhere in the city sure helps!" Booth snapped. "Come on, move it! I carried her more than halfway, you know!"
"Yeah, I'll let you know when I start giving a shit." The Jerkop strained against Anna's weight, forcing himself onward. "We could've been there ten minutes ago if we'd just dropped her off in a dumpster or something. Or hell, Aki could've teleported us there! Why the hell didn't she-"
"If she stays in one place for too long or uses too much psychic energy, she's as good as dead!" yelled Dexter. "Magi-Chan's been tracking her ever since you guys took out Sonichu's family! Didn't you ever wonder why he wasn't able to sense you killing them, or why Chandler never even knew any of it was happening?"
"What? You mean…Aki blocked him for us?"
"No…" Booth slid to a halt. For a moment, he appeared to be lost in thought. "Well…for some reason, she told me that there was already something blocking your signatures, like another one of those psychic screens that you guys have around your bases. Whatever it was, it would've shielded your squad from Magi-Chan and Chandler if they'd checked in on Rosechu or the kids."
"Wait…what?" Kevin looked around anxiously as a feeling of nervous tension began burning in his chest. "We…who was blocking us? Graduon's dead, and Walsh…"
Dexter shrugged. "No idea. Aki might know. You can ask her later."
"Right," agreed Kevin. "Here's the plan. Once we find Steve, we need to get to Slumberland, or better yet, Wilderness. I don't know what Vivian's got planned, but Sonichu's out for blood right now. He's going to tear the city apart to find me…and that's how we're gonna take him down."
"Good! Fantastic! Tell me all about it after we-HOLY SHIT!" Booth absentmindedly stepped out into the street, just in time to be knocked down by a group of fleeing human civilians. "OW!"
Still holding Anna, Kevin hurried out of the alley after his friend. A large crowd of men, women, and children, many of whom were rubbing sleep from their eyes, had congregated in the middle of the road and were now staring in awe at the blazing ruin that had once been the Pokémon Center. Judging by the occasional bursts of gunfire and the large number of armored vans parked in front of the building, the PVCC were smack dab in the middle of one of the largest Electric Hedgehog Pokémon massacres in the history of the CWCville Revolution. And if any of the Honey Badgers were among them, Kevin's night was about to get a lot better. Had the Jerkop not been so encumbered with his prisoner, he might have made a run straight for the killing grounds.
"Run!" Two teenage girls sprinted past, followed by a mother and her young boy. "SPARKIES!"
"INSIDE! GET INSIDE!" roared a man, and hurriedly helped his two children through a broken display window. "Everyone clear off the streets! Sparkies coming! SPARKIES COMING!"
"Fuck. Oh, fuck." Kevin felt his stomach drop as the all-too-familiar howl of police sirens blared through the commotion to the north. "EHPF. Chandler's sending backup."
"You told me they were fighting the mercs in the Shopping Center!" yelled Dexter.
"Those ones were!" Looking around in desperation, the Jerkop spotted a large metal dumpster only a few dozen yards away, right in front of a chu-only restaurant called the Spin Dash Diner. There was no longer any time for him to worry about Anna McLerran's well-being. Her wound was bandaged, and unless she did anything especially idiotic, she would live through the night. That put her chances of survival at about one in ten, but it was better than leaving her to freeze.
"Wait! Kevin, what are you-"
"Taking care of something! Just hold on a sec!" Heaving open the dumpster's lid, Kevin was immediately greeted by a gush of warm, reeking air. A massive heap of rotten and spoiled food lay inside, along with a mixture of paper and plastic waste from the restaurant's kitchen. The warmth from the garbage would keep Anna alive as long as she stayed inside and didn't try to escape. She'd lost enough blood already, and if the elements didn't kill her, the crossfire from the battling EHPF and PVCC certainly would.
"Nee! Goo-goo!"
Kevin nearly fell over in surprise as a single Sonee emerged from the pile of rancid garbage and began rooting around in a new spot for any edible scraps it could find. The feral chu appeared much fatter and more well-fed than its emaciated cousins in the abandoned zone, and certainly less ill-tempered. Fighting his urge to strangle the insipid creature, the Jerkop heaved Anna over the side of the dumpster and pushed her in. With a surprised squeal, the Sonee managed to crawl out of the way just in time to avoid being crushed to death by the woman's falling body.
"Good idea," remarked Dexter, holding his scarf over his face to block out the stench. "Is she safe with that Sonee? I mean, don't you think it'll just try and eat her eventually?"
"Nah." Kevin shook his head. "I don't think the ferals on the west side are as dangerous as the ones we've been fighting. Odds are, with all the adult chus here, they get treated pretty well."
"Huh. Never thought of that."
"Okay." The Jerkop looked around, scanning the street as a shrill "WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" sounded from the ruins of the Pokémon Center. A single gunshot rang out, and the baby chu's wailing was silenced forever. "Okay, they're going for homebreds. We need to get there befo-"
"Shaw…oh God…oh my God…you fucking monster…"
Both Kevin and Dexter turned back to the dumpster. Anna's eyes had opened, and she was now glaring up at them with what could only be described as a look she wholeheartedly wished could kill. Even in her weakened state, she was still fighting, flopping around in the stinking refuse as the Sonee watched curiously from a few feet away.
"Don't worry," Dexter addressed her. "We bandaged your knee, Miss McLerran. If you just stay there and don't move, you'll be-"
"Get…me…out of…here," hissed Anna, locking her furious gaze onto Kevin. "You…Shaw…"
"Chandler's alive," replied the Jerkop. "No thanks to you. But you don't even care about him, do you? You say you're helping him, but all you do is get in the way and make things even worse. So I figure 'out of the way' is the best place to keep you for a while."
"Ironic, huh?" added Dexter with a bitter smile as he glanced at the Sonee. It was still watching Anna intently, wondering why she wasn't giving it candy. "And maybe now you'll be able to see what we went through. Who knows? You two might end up becoming best friends."
"Goo-goo!" squeaked the little chu, and clapped its armstubs together happily. "Sonee! YAY!"
"NO!" Anna tried to scream, but her voice was little more than a hoarse rasping sound. "NO! GODDAMNIT, SHAW, YOU GET ME OUT OF HERE! I'LL FUCKING KILL Y-"
"Oh, check your privilege, you two-faced bitch," snarled Kevin, and slammed the lid down before Anna could continue her rant. Grabbing a pair of cinderblocks off the sidewalk, he placed them on top and walked away while the propaganda director's muffled coughs and screams issued from the dumpster. She'd still be able to breathe – there were plenty of cracks in the sides.
"Well, that was interesting," Booth remarked. "Never thought I'd meet the person responsible for all the shit I went through with Stripey, Rob-Rob, and Christal."
"Huh?"
"Remember, I was in the Nanny Program? They were my three charges – I'd killed them myself before your squad showed up at Barbarapartments back in April."
"Oh." The Jerkop scratched his head. "Wait, you mean…the Nanny Program was Anna's idea?"
"Well, implementing it was her idea," explained Dexter. "You know Chandler's too lazy to do any work himself unless it involves fighting jerks or trying to attract boyfriend-free girls."
"Let's hope he stays that way for a good long time," Kevin muttered. "Come on!" Looking ahead to the Pokémon Center, he grabbed Booth's arm, pulling him along as they both broke into a run. The sirens were closer now, and out of the corner of his eye, the Jerkop could see a pair of flashing lights burst into the street. A second cruiser followed, then another, then dozens more, all roaring forward at top speed and loaded with vengeful, extremely angry EHPF personnel.
Just what we all fucking needed right now, he thought. Reinforcements.
CWCville Pokémon Center, lobby, 10:34 p.m.
"REINFORCEMENTS!" a Jerkop shouted from the destroyed lobby. "Incoming Sparkies to the south and west! Get behind something! TAKE UP POSITIONS AND HOLD 'EM OFF!"
"Fucking hell!" Steve cursed loudly, wincing as a Rosechu's panicked Thunder Wave decimated the wall three feet to his left. "CONTACT! WE GOT SURVIVORS IN HERE!"
Kuri let out a vicious snarl and hurled herself out of cover before the Manajerk or any of the other three Jerkops could say anything. Ignoring the female Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's frantic shrieks, she raised her tekko-kagi and plunged the bladed gauntlet straight into the chu's head. Behind her, Serge quickly dispatched a pair of Sonichus with a burst from Baba Yaga, messily carving both of them into scraps of flying meat. In seconds, only red mist remained.
"JESUS CHRIST!" Benjamin covered his ears, gaping in disbelief at the huge Russian. "How the hell does that thing even-
"Not a good time, Jordan!" yelled Steve. "Dowell, body count!"
"Fourteen here!" Maddie replied, scanning the dead chus. "There's gotta be more around here!"
"Fuck 'em! Leave 'em for the other teams! We need to keep moving!" The Manajerk glanced behind him, just in time to see a pair of Hellhound operatives barely avoid being caught in a barrage of Thunderbolts. Further back toward the waiting room, Clyde Cash and several of the Picklemen were fighting off a pair of EHPF insertion vehicles which had pulled up on the main approach. Sugarplum Fury, on the other hand, was enjoying herself immensely, feeding on the barbecued remains of a few baby chus that had been shredded and blown to pieces in the explosion. "Arceus, we're running out of time! Where's the goddamn hatchery?"
"There!" shouted Benjamin, pointing to a sliding door set into the side of the hallway. Thick panels of bulletproof glass surrounded it on either side, and a variety of warning signs had been affixed around it. The only one the Jerkops cared about was the INCUBATION/HATCHERY sign directly above the door.
"Line up. Prepare to breach." Steve gestured to the door and drew Origin, tucking his XM8 under one arm while Sugar obediently readied herself for a charge. "SERGE, TAKE IT DOWN!"
CRUNCH! The electromagnetic lock shattered and powered down in three crushing blows as Serge slammed Baba Yaga's barrel into it like a battering ram. Against the minigun, it hardly stood a chance. Steve and Benjamin quickly pried open the door to let the other Jerkops through, then followed them into the decontamination room. Sanitization jets switched on automatically, covering all five of them with a momentary blast of hot steam. Kuri and Maddie yelped in shock, while Serge merely grunted in discomfort and began ramming the other door until it gave way.
"We're inside the hatchery, Richter," reported Steve, wiping the fog from his mask visor and stepping into the adjacent room after his operatives. "What the hell is taking you guys so long?"
"What took you?" Geoffrey Richter waved as he, Reina, Smoker, Vanessa, Leon, Howie, and Neil approached, all bearing an array of minor injuries.
"Vanessa!" Maddie hurried forward to hug her friend, then drew back, surprised. The Latina girl appeared to have suffered a nasty cut, stretching from the side of her neck up to her ear. "Holy shit! What happened?"
"Fuckin' hysterical Rosechu," answered Leon. "Threw one of her Sonees at Reina to distract us and started lashing out everywhere with her tailbolt, screaming about us murderin' the Sonichu spawn." He held up a slashed arm. "Got me too, before Smoker put her down."
"Pleasure was all mine," Adams coughed.
"You didn't go inside yet, right?" asked Benjamin. "Should we be expecting any company?"
Geoffrey shook his head and grinned. "Just us and a few hundred nice, harmless eggs."
"Excellent…" Kuri licked her lips savagely. "I always wanted to make chu balut again."
"And I'm still a little scared that I know exactly what that shit is," added Steve as he joined Richter in front of the second security door. Inside, a red light filled the incubation room, bathing row upon row of unhatched Electric Hedgehog Pokémon eggs in warm, humid air – just the right temperature and humidity to stimulate growth and hatching. Glancing back at their squadmates, the two Manajerks each raised a boot and delivered a firm kick apiece to the door.
WHAM!
"Alert. Alert. Incubation room breach," an automated security warning sounded through the hatchery. "Temperature levels below optimal. Emergency life support is now active."
"Fat lot of good that'll do," Richter chuckled. "All right, Sea Lions! You ready to smash the next chu generation out of this city?" He gestured to the treasure trove of eggs that lay before them. "Steve, you get the room locked down, okay? We'll be right behind you!"
"Sounds good to me." Steve hurried forward into the misty warmth of the incubation room, followed by Kuri, Serge, Maddie, and Benjamin."Honey Badgers, on m-"
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"FUCK! AAAARGH!" The Manajerk threw himself sideways, clutching at his chest where two of the three shots had impacted on his Kevlar armor. Judging by the spray of blood from his left shoulder, the last one had struck home. Grimacing in immense pain and shock, he tried to prop himself up against one of the incubators, but lost his grip and collapsed to the floor.
"CONTACT!" bellowed Serge. "DOWN! DOWN NOW!"
"STEVE! NO!" Kuri dashed to her squad leader's side, pressing her hand against the bleeding wound as Sugarplum Fury yelped in fear. "MEDIC! JORDAN, HELP HIM!"
"Incubation room seal authorized," chirped the electronic voice. "Lockdown initiated."
With a loud hiss, the inner doors slid shut, and a pair of steel panels closed over them, trapping the three Honey Badgers and their Sea Lion comrades inside the incubation room. A muffled banging sounded from outside as Richter and the other Sea Lions attempted to break open the locked security door, but unless they managed to find a control panel or security mainframe, the Jerkops weren't getting in anytime soon.
"What the hell just happened?" yelled Maddie, swinging her shotgun from left to right as she checked each row of incubator shelves for their unknown assailant. It was almost impossible to see anything through the smothering warm mist and the unending red light from the heat lamps. Around them, several dozen of the eggs twitched, their unborn occupants weakly kicking and moving around in various states of development.
"I don't know!" Kuri leapt to her feet, brandishing her P90 while Benjamin knelt beside Steve and opened his medical kit. "Maddie, Serge, did either of you see where that came from?"
"Coward is hiding," the Russian Jerkop stated, somewhat obviously. "Is not shock-pig, though."
"Loyalist," hissed Maddie.
Kuri gritted her teeth. "Stay close. Watch the rows. Whatever happens, don't split up-"
BANG! Another gunshot rang out, followed by a surprised shout from Benjamin and a yelp from Sugar. The round had missed the medic and slammed into an incubator next to him, which was now sparking and venting steam from the bullet hole.
"THERE!" Maddie whirled toward a flash of white and fired, sending two volleys of buckshot across the room. One of the chu eggs splintered and cracked open, spilling a slimy pink Sonee onto the floor. The baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was hardly out of its fetal stage, but Kuri could clearly see it flailing its tiny limbs, gasping for air as it slowly suffocated and died.
"Serge," she panted, grinning as a plan formed in her head. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Mass destruction of shock-pig eggs?" The huge Jerkop winced reluctantly. "Serge does not like getting shot. Serge wants to shoot coward that shot Steve. But Serge is not abortionist doctor."
"Us or them, Big Bear!" snapped Kuri. "Steve's down, and I'm in command! KILL 'EM ALL!"
"Tell that colossal oaf to hold his fire," a male voice ordered in a firm but unmistakably arrogant tone. "Wouldn't want to cause any more collateral damage, now would we?"
"Son of a bitch," Maddie growled as the three Jerkops turned to face the speaker. "You."
"Me," replied Bill Schwartz, and pushed a handcuffed and gagged Nurse Joy forward for all of the operatives to see. Armed with a pistol, the former PVCC scientist was holding his prisoner in the classic 'human shield' position, giving himself a perfect arc of fire towards the operatives. "Just as I thought. You barbarians are too predictable. An entire hatchery full of helpless little unborn chus, and you storm in here like foxes in a henhouse." He smirked. "Now you're mine."
"Give Serge reason not to unleash Baba Yaga on traitor coward scientist," grunted Serge.
"Hostage, Big Bear," Kuri replied. "Hold your fire. He's got a hostage."
"Right you are, Miss Tatsuno." Bill chuckled, grinning at Kuri's surprised expression. "Oh yes, I know you quite well. The little feral brat who took down an entire straight camp, brought back to the civilized world by the oh-so-acclaimed HoneyBadgers. Which means…" He nodded toward Steve. "Ah, so that must be Morrison. I'm assuming you two must have been rather close."
The Jerkop locked the scientist in a withering stare. "You're dead, traitor."
"Big words, little girl," snapped Schwartz mockingly. He raised the pistol. "Drop your weapons and we'll talk. Just a harmless little negotiation, nothing more."
"Not happening, motherfucker," Maddie retorted. "Three on one, and we got a minigun."
"Then shoot me, you shortsighted fool." The loyalist pulled Joy in front of him as the helpless nurse struggled against his grip. "Killing an innocent woman shouldn't be a problem for you now that you've wasted your lives killing so many innocent chus." He spat on the floor in revulsion. "You make me sick. All of you. Taking such joy in slaughtering babies…torturing Rosechu and butchering Sonichu's children…and you call yourselves the good guys."
"Are you INSANE?!" shouted Maddie. "LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO CWCVILLE!"
"Look what they've done for it!" Bill countered. "Under Chandler, the march of science is no longer hampered by the bureaucrats and drooling morons infesting the world's governments. By his orders, we have built a city of progress…breached new boundaries of engineering, biology, medicine, psychology! You would give up all that potential…for your blindness and hypocrisy?"
"Can Serge shut traitor coward's mouth with bullet now?" asked Serge.
"No. Let him talk." Kuri held up a hand. "If he'd wanted us dead, he would've shot us by now. He wants something from us."
"Safe passage, mostly," explained Schwartz. "Either send me back to the chus or give me a guarantee of safety until this blows over. And trust me, your little resistance won't last long after what Chandler has in store for you. Walsh couldn't stop him, and Shaw won't, either."
"Kevin…" The Jerkop's eyes widened. "Okay. Tell us where he is, and we'll consider it."
"Dead by now, I assume," Bill muttered in a disinterested voice. "But I could be wrong. Guess you'll just have to think of something else to threaten me with, then. I've got time." He pointed at the operatives and grinned. "Unfortunately, you don't. Guess who called in the Combo?"
"Oh, shit," breathed Maddie.
"Stay calm," Kuri ordered. "Without Magi-Chan, they've got no coordination. It'll take at least ten minutes for them to assemble and another five for them to actually get here."
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" teased Bill. "Someone who has all the powers of the Combo?"
Serge shrugged. "Chandler? Leading Combo? Add ten more minutes, little blue girl."
"Yes, that's what you are, Tatsuno," sneered the scientist in an infuriatingly mocking voice. "A stupid little wild girl who fell in with the wrong crowd. What would your parents say if they knew you'd spent all that time eating raw baby chus in the abandoned zone with nothing but that stupid paint job and those ridiculous horns. What would your siblings think if they knew you'd lost your mind and will in a total psychotic breakdown?" He chuckled. "Oh, wait."
"They're dead, you son of a bitch," finished Kuri in a high, dangerously soft voice. "I accepted that long ago. But I'll make sure that youscream for me to end your life before I finally take it."
"So sure of yourself, aren't you?" Bill glanced at his watch. "Only a matter of time now. Keep it up, little girl. I've got nothing to lose."
"On the contrary," Clyde Cash's voice addressed him through the PA system. "You should've listened to them, Schwartz. Now we'll just have to see how much of you we can 'lose'. Loppy?"
"Challenge accepted," squeaked a Devil Troll. It almost sounded as if the LIESA unit was right there in the room with them. "Forever alone, for science. U mad?"
"No!" Schwartz whirled around, aiming his pistol at the ceiling, at the walls, at the tops of the incubator shelves. "NO! NO NO NO! CASH! I'LL KILL HER! I SWEAR I'LL KILL HER!"
"Cool story, bro," the mischievous little voice continued. "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!"
SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
Joy only just managed to duck away a second before the blue energy beam struck Bill directly in the small of his back. The traitorous scientist was blown forward head over heels, slamming into a rack of chu eggs with enough force to fracture several of his ribs. The force of the shot hadn't been nearly enough to kill him, but it was a miracle that he hadn't been knocked out on impact.
"Grrowr!" Sugar darted out from where she had been hiding and dashed to Steve's side, nuzzling her furry face against her master's arm. Her fur had bristled up during the firefight due to shock, and the honey badger now resembled a foot-long black and white puffball. "Rrrowr!"
"F*ck yea! Shoop da woopin' ALL the Bills!" the Devil Troll squealed, whirling out of its hiding place in a flash of cloth and leftover smoke from the laz0r blast. "Me gusta."
"Me motherfucking gusta, you little flying ball of awesome," panted Steve, pulling off his gas mask as Kuri and Benjamin helped him to his feet. Blood had soaked through the patch of sweater around the Manajerk's shoulder, but the bullet wound had been successfully bandaged. Regardless of the treatment, he was still fighting back tears of pain. "You're Loppy, right? Get down here and hack the door! Kuri, Serge, where's Schwartz?"
"Traitor scientist will not hurt Steve or insult little blue girl again," muttered Serge as he set Baba Yaga on the floor and reached down to grab Bill's limp body. Heaving the wounded man into the air by the collar of his lab coat, the Russian tossed him over to the other Jerkops as if he was nothing more than a sack of potatoes, then picked up the minigun and rejoined his squadmates. "Very lucky that Serge is not in bad mood now."
"And you're lucky that shot didn't take your arm out of action," Benjamin remarked.
"Well, I'm fucking pissed," the Manajerk growled. "Fuck, he's in bad shape. That laz0r did a number on him."
"He's not out cold, is he?" asked Maddie.
"Looks like he's still conscious." Kuri prodded the scientist's body with her boot. "Why?"
"This," muttered the Sea Lion, and kicked Bill in the crotch as hard as she could. Schwartz's eyes bulged, and a high, pained shriek gurgled out of his mouth.
"Holy shit," muttered Steve, and whistled approvingly. "Kuri, you want a turn?"
Kuri shook her head, brushing some hair out of her eyes. "I'm good. I just need a minute."
"We don't have one." Steve knelt and patted Sugar behind the ears, then glanced up to where the shaken Nurse Joy was staring at them in terrified silence. "You're safe now, Nurse. If you just come with us and do what we say, we can get you out of here alive."
"He…he…he was…" Joy stammered, pointing at Bill. "He was going to kill me…"
Serge looked down at the agonized scientist. "You want turn for nut shot?"
"No." The nurse looked around in disgust at the rows of incubated Sonee and Rosey eggs, then walked over to a control panel and began adjusting a few knobs and dials. "I have a better idea."
"Well, do it fast." Aided by Kuri and Benjamin, Steve staggered for the door. Loppy had torn open the security lock and was now laz0ring the circuits in an attempt to override them. "Serge, bring this backstabbing cocksucker with us. We're taking him back for the admins to play with." He paused, looking around in confusion. "Guys, is it just me, or is it getting really hot in h-"
"WOSEEEEEEEYUUGHGHGGHGUHGUGHGH!"
"GHEEEEEEEEE! GUUUUGGGHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"GGUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE!"
POP! SPLAT! POP!
"What the FUCK?!" screamed Maddie, covering her face as bits of shell and half-cooked egg white rained down from the shelves. Around the room, the Sonee and Rosey eggs were shaking violently, steaming and cracking apart as their contents puffed up and expanded. With a loud sucking pop, one of the eggs literally exploded outwards, transforming into a thick glob of white albumen with a tiny, shrieking Rosey fetus half-buried inside. Further down the line, an almost fully-developed Sonee managed to pull itself free of the boiling, hissing little sauna that its egg had become. Wailing shrilly, it tumbled off the shelf and fell headfirst onto the hard concrete, its soft skull splintering like glass and its fat-encased brain squishing out across the floor.
"SEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked a Rosey as its egg shattered open right next to the Jerkops. Flailing her undeveloped armstubs and stumpfeet, the little pink chu crawled around for a few seconds and screamed, while pieces of her dead and dying littermates rained down from above. At last, her beady little eyes slid open, revealing the group of humans and the honey badger currently looking down at her with confusion and disgust.
"Wo…SEEEEEEEY!" she squealed, desperately winking at each of them in turn. They were supposed to make sure she never felt any of this painful stress! Why weren't they doing their-
CRUNCH! Joy stepped on the larva from behind, smashing its tiny body against the floor before it knew what had killed it. A few tiny bones cracked like pretzel rods, and a sticky bloodstain spread out beneath the nurse's foot. Wiping her shoe on Bill's pant leg, she smiled triumphantly down at the scientist and folded her arms across her chest.
"What…what have you done…" Bill breathed, his face contorted with pain and hopeless fury.
Joy chuckled. "Something I've been wanting to do for ten years, you cowardly piece of shit." Winking at the Jerkops' distraught prisoner, she turned to Steve and nodded. "Problem solved."
"I'll say," muttered the Manajerk as the eggs continued boiling and rupturing around them. "Fucking hell. Kuri, Serge, do me a favor and remind me to never piss off a nurse."
"Serge just wants to get away from tiny shock-pig abortions," grunted the Russian Jerkop. "Is making Serge very uncomfortable."
"What?" Maddie laughed, pointing to Baba Yaga. "You're seven feet tall, you carry that thing around, and you're scared of a few baby chus? They're not even hatched, for cryin' out loud!"
"Don't ask," whispered Kuri.
CWCville Pokémon Center, lobby, 10:38 p.m.
"No, that won't be a problem," Clyde Cash muttered, speaking into a walkie-talkie that one of his Devil Trolls was holding next to his head. "We're cleaning out the Center right now, Vivian. EHPF are on site, but my unit's holding them back." Stealing a glance over the pile of debris, he steadied the massive revolver's barrel against a piece of rebar and fired twice. "Sorry about that. Anyway, we should deliver Schwartz within the hour. Consider it an apology gift from me."
"That's no excuse for what you just did, Cash," Vivian Gee snarled back. "I'm not going to let you jeopardize the rest of this operation. You took control of half a dozen Jerkop squads with no permission, and now you're putting everything at risk for your little 'loose ends campaign'? You might have Howell's support, but you're not taking Shaw along. We need him back, alive."
"And you will." The PVCC commander grinned. "Eventually. Trust me, this is going to work."
"What's going to work?" Gee asked frantically. "Cash! CASH, ANSWER THE FUCKING QU-"
"All in good time." Clyde nodded to the Devil Troll, which obediently clicked off the radio. Turning around, he calmly snapped the S&W .500's cylinder open and began inserting a fresh load of bullets. "Now then. I'm sure you've heard this before, Shaw, but you don't know how lucky you are. You know how many Jerkops have ever seen the inside of Chandler's office?"
Kevin shook his head, nervously glancing at the six Picklemen that were currently escorting him and Dexter. Emily herself stood at Cash's side, observing the two unarmed men with curiosity while the administrator kept speaking. Around them, the PVCC's line of defense was holding as strong as ever, despite the Sonichu attackers' repeated attempts to charge through.
"It's all very shocking, yeah," continued Clyde with a sympathetic smile. "Kevin Shaw, a mere Jerkop who ends up accidentally becoming the Hero of the Revolution. I wouldn't be surprised if your face ends up on a few t-shirts by the time this is all over."
"What's going to happen to him?" asked Dexter.
"I'd be more concerned about yourself, Booth," the commander said dismissively. "If what you told me is true, we have a highly dangerous psychic asset running around CWCville unchecked. You're going to bring your little chu friend to the administration, and we'll see just how much potential she has for us." He sighed and looked back to Kevin. "But you, Shaw…you've become a rather valuable person over the last few hours. Thank Arceus you're on our side."
"I just want to get back to my squad, sir," Kevin mumbled. His eyes were drifting shut from exhaustion, and every passing second was a struggle to stay on his feet. "Please."
"Agreed. You won't be much use in combat in your current state." Clyde motioned for him to sit down. "We'll finish up here and head to Slumberland to debrief you and get you some medical attention. Vivian, Jason, and the rest of the admins can handle the fighting on the east side. Word has it that a crowd's gathering in Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza. Pitchforks and torches, you know, the classic angry mob. Right now, it's just what we need." He frowned. "But we can't let Chandler and the Combo disrupt any of it. And that's where you come in…for now."
"Then you're using me as…bait?"
"Motivation, more like. Chandler wants you dead more than me right now, so naturally, he's not too good at thinking things over when he's under a lot of stress. And you performed admirably at giving him a literal ass-load of that. One might say…that shit was so cash."
Kevin let out a surprised laugh. "Thank you, sir."
"Don't thank me," replied the commander. "You've been through hell tonight, Shaw. You're going to have to go back eventually." He looked toward the burning ruins of the Pokémon Center, just as the sounds of running footsteps approached. "But this time, you won't be alone."
"KEVIN! HOLY SHIT! KEVIN!"
"Ow! Hey!" Kevin laughed in surprised relief as Kuri slammed into him, hugging him furiously. Seconds later, Steve and Serge both charged in, embracing the Jerkop so hard that Kevin actually felt his spine curve inwards. He would have preferred it if Allie had been among the reunion party, but after what he'd been through at the Shopping Center, any Honey Badgers were better than no Honey Badgers. "Oh, fuck, am I glad to see you guys!"
"Mutual feelings…all around," replied Steve. Looking down at Kevin's gore-splattered jacket, his relieved smile quickly transformed into a frown. "You hurt? What happened?"
"Uh…" Kevin tried to think up an explanation for Robee Sonee's Orange Soda-fueled death and rebirth cycle that wouldn't sound utterly idiotic. After a few seconds of furious brainstorming, he simply shrugged and gave up. "Long story. It's chu blood, though, so don't worry."
"So's this." The Manajerk pointed to the bloodied front of his sweater, then pulled out the plastic bag with Robbie's skin. "Look, there's a lot we need to talk about, but right now…" His voice trailed off as he recognized Booth. "Oh, no. No. NO FUCKING WAY."
"Hey there." Dexter grinned sheepishly and stepped forward to shake Steve's hand. "Long time."
"Arceus. I'll say." Steve shook his head in bewilderment and accepted the handshake, then pulled his friend into a firm hug. "I don't even want to know how you survived, Booth."
"That's probably best for now." Clyde nodded to the Sea Lions, who were escorting both Nurse Joy and Bill Schwartz out of the Pokémon Center. The latter had been handcuffed, and Maddie's Sableye was directing a Confuse Ray at him to keep him immobile. "Well, well…"
"CASH!" shouted Bill, grimacing through the waves of mind-shredding energy. "You just wait! Chandler's…AAAAARGH!" He collapsed, screaming, as Reina drove the stock of her assault rifle into his kneecap. "GODDAMN YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! FUCK YOU ALL!"
"Commander!" Geoffrey Richter saluted quickly. "The hatchery's cleared, sir. No survivors."
"Wait, what? Already?"
"Oh, don't worry," Joy chuckled. A vengeful smirk spread across her face, very unbefitting of such an outstandingly sweet and generous person as her. "I took care of it. The entire room needs to be kept at a certain temperature and humidity in order to maintain the conditions of an ideal incubation atmosphere for most Pokémon species. I just turned all the settings up to Fire-type."
"Balut for everyone!" cheered Kuri, raising a triumphant fist as Loppy giggled evilly overhead. The little Devil Troll, like many of its comrades, had developed a strange attraction to Kuri, most likely due to the Jerkop's bizarre horned hairband.
"Oh, Chandler's not gonna like that at all," chuckled Clyde. "This is good. This is very good." He signaled to the Devil Troll with the walkie-talkie, instructing it to switch to another channel. "Cash to Loose Ends, target and facility have both been secured. Prepare to move out on my-"
"HOLY SHIT! CONTACT!" Emily screamed, pushing Joy down behind cover and waving to the Picklemen under her command. "TARGET INCOMING! OPEN FIRE!"
CRACK! BOOM!
Kevin instinctively clapped his hands over his ears to block out a deafening sonic boom that exploded through the Pokémon Center like a cannon blast. The barricade of debris was literally ripped apart in a storm of metal and concrete as Punchy Sonichu obliterated it with a single well-placed blow. Seconds later, a whirling ball of yellow spikes shot through the gap, shredding and mutilating a pair of Jerkops before they could even turn their guns on the new arrivals.
"WHERE ARE YOU, SHAW?!" Sonichu roared, uncurling himself from the Spin Dash as blood dripped from his razor-edged quills. "COME OUT AND FIGHT, YOU F*CKING COWARD!"
"SHIT! WE GOT HEAVY CONTACT!" shouted Clyde. "EMILY, COVER THE RETREAT! MORRISON, RICHTER, GET SHAW AND SCHWARTZ OUT OF HERE, NOW!"
"BASE OF FIRE! PUT UP A SCREEN!" ordered the Pickleman Manajerk. Before Kevin knew what had happened, Clyde was dashing straight for Sonichu, hastily shouting orders to his Devil Trolls and the other Jerkop squads. A loud chorus of "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!" filled the air, and the immediate blinding lights of laz0r shots began wreaking havoc on the pair of overpowered Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Sonichu was faring slightly worse than Punchy, mainly due to the fact that the PVCC administrator was directing the brunt of the Devil Trolls' attack toward him.
"Let's go!" Kuri grabbed Kevin and pulled him and Dexter away toward the VANguard, while Steve, Serge, Loppy, and the Sea Lions opened fire on Punchy. "Come on, move! We gotta-"
CRASH! A green blur slammed through the north wall, followed by a roaring gush of water that swept across the burning ground in a wall of steam. Two more chus burst through the gap - one blue, one black. Kevin didn't even need another glance to realize just how utterly fucked the Jerkops had now become.
"Looks like they need our help; we had better give them some backup!" Wild Sonichu stated, dealing a crippling Vine Whip to two of the Chimeras and sending the injured men tumbling back a full twenty feet, winded and dazed. "For Rosechu and the children! FOR SIMONLA!"
"Tee hee! Let's go get them, Blakey-boo!" squealed Bubbles Rosechu, blowing a kiss to Blake Sonichu as the pair of them surveyed the battleground. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun!"
"RUN!" Steve snarled, opening up on the blue Rosechu with a heavy barrage from his XM8. Sugarplum Fury stood her ground beside him, growling and snapping at the Chaotic Combo. "KEVIN, KURI, SERGE, MOVE YOUR ASSES! GET TO THE VANGUARD!"
As he ran, more and more horrors erupted in every direction that Kevin turned. Here, Punchy had grabbed a Hellhound and was smashing the operative against the ground again and again. Blake and Bubbles had formed a juggernaut of unstoppable fury, sweeping dozens of Jerkops off of their feet with Surf attacks and electrocuting them one by one. Wild had lassoed a Vine Whip around a Deathbreaker's arm, but the woman's squadmates quickly slashed the binding off and blasted the green Sonichu with a shower of hot lead, forcing him to retreat until the bullet holes could heal. Sonichu himself was just barely managing to fight on under an unending barrage of laz0r beams, occasionally finding enough energy to Thunderbolt one of the LIESAs to oblivion. In just a matter of seconds, Clyde Cash's collection of seasoned Jerkops was being cut down to a scattered group of panicked men and women, overpowered and outmatched on every front. Oddly enough, the EHPF had ceased their attack, and were now watching the beatdown with unmistakable glee. Some chus had even come out to watch with their families, and a few groups of Rosechus had formed impromptu cheerleading squads to encourage the Chaotic Combo.
Desperation clutched Kevin's heart and stomach, filling him with a cold sickness from which escape was impossible. He'd done this. All of it. The Combo was out for vengeance, and it was all because he'd been too stupid and merciful to kill Chandler and end it all. People were dying left and right, the Jerkops had fallen into utter disarray, and here he was, being shepherded away from a massacre that he himself had caused.
"Move it! Get in!" shouted Richter. "ZEREK, START THE GODDAMN ENGINE!"
The VANguard sputtered and roared as Zerek stepped on the gas, bringing the armored vehicle to a screeching halt right next to the retreating Sea Lions and Honey Badgers. Leon pulled the door open while Maddie, Adams, Reina, Steve, and Serge assembled in a firing line, buying the Jerkops enough time to get Joy safely into the back. One by one, the other Sea Lions began to pile in, until it was down to the Honey Badgers, Bill, Dexter, and Richter.
"Go! Just go!" Steve waved to the Sea Lion Manajerk and shoved the handcuffed scientist into the van with the rest of the Jerkops. "We'll get out on our own! Get Bill to Wilderness alive!"
"No!" Richter hurriedly glanced into the back of the VANguard. "No, we can make room! We'll be able to fit your squad too-"
"They're after me," Kevin panted. "Cash wants to use me as bait, so that's what I'm gonna do. We'll draw them away so you guys can get out."
Steve nodded, squeezing his eye shut. "Fuck it all. Here." Reaching for his belt holster, he drew Origin and handed it to Kevin. "Whatever you do, aim for the feet. Kuri, give Dexter a pistol."
The Jerkop obliged, tossing her Beretta to Booth. Kevin stared in awe at the black revolver for a few seconds, then pulled the hammer back just as Steve always did. It was the first time he'd ever held such a deadly-looking handgun, and he'd seen firsthand the kind of damage that Origin could deal out. He'd have preferred to have his old AK-47 back, but these were desperate times.
"You sure you'll be all right?" asked Richter as the Honey Badgers took up firing positions around the VANguard. "Listen, we'll get your medic and the injured operative out of KCWC. I swear, we'll find a way to evacuate them."
"Worry about Schwartz!" Steve ordered. "He's our only key to Chandler's defense plan! And we're Honey Badgers, remember? This shit's a fucking cakewalk compared to the Warp!"
"Good hunting, you crazy bastards," growled the Manajerk, and slammed the VANguard's door. With a screech of tires, the Sea Lions' transport roared away down the road, smashing several EHPF cruisers aside as it barreled back toward KCWC. One by one, several more vans followed suit. Clyde Cash and the Picklemen were singlehandedly beating back Sonichu, Blake, and Bubbles, while Punchy and Wild continued to tear their way through the remaining defenders.
"Any time, Kevin," growled Steve as he pushed a full magazine into the XM8. "Serge, Kuri, fire on my mark. Dexter, stay down and run when I say so."
Booth nodded. Combat against adult chus had never been his strong suit. Killing larvae, on the other hand, was.
Raising Origin directly toward Sonichu, Kevin squeezed the trigger. A flare round burst from the revolver's barrel, arcing across the destroyed Pokémon Center and exploding directly between the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and Clyde Cash. Blinded by the intense light, Sonichu rolled away, giving Emily and her Jerkops a few precious seconds to throw down flashbang grenades of their own and hose Blake with enough bullets to kill ten normal chus. Bleeding and screaming in agony, the cloned black Sonichu darted away behind a wall of water that Bubbles had set up to protect herself and her mate.
"SONICHU!" shouted Kevin, rising to his feet and drawing the hammer back a second time. "I'M RIGHT HERE, YOU SPIKY PIECE OF SHIT! YOU WANT ME? LET'S DO THIS!"
"SHAAAAAWWWWWWWW!" screamed Sonichu, and hurled himself toward the sound of his most hated foe's voice. "YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS, YOU JERKOP B-"
"SHUT UP!" Kevin snarled, and emptied Origin's cylinder into the ground directly in front of Sonichu's whirling feet. "YOU'RE TOO SLOW, MOTHERFUCKER! OUTRUN THIS!"
One by one, the rounds detonated, engulfing Sonichu's running shoes in an explosion of burning phosphorous. With a strangled cry of pain, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon tripped and veered off course, flying head over heels into a pile of rubble. Serge, Steve, and Kuri opened fire immediately, peppering the spot where their target had landed in a hailstorm of bullets. Despite his accelerated healing factor, Sonichu could not move. His shoes had fused together from the heat of Origin's incendiary blasts, forming a solid mass of battery-blue plastic and effectively preventing him from regaining his footing.
"THAT'S IT! KILL HIM!" roared Clyde. Shrieking in glee, the flock of Devil Trolls descended upon the yellow chu, retracting their mouthguards to charge up their laz0rs.
"NONONONONONO!" howled a near-berserk voice as a dark blue Electric Hedgehog Pokémon skidded to a halt beside Sonichu and conjured a rippling psychic shield around both of them. Bullets sizzled and impacted against the energy wall by the hundreds, but despite the heavy barrage, the shield held. Chris-Chan Sonichu stood at the center, his face twisted by rage. "Y'ALL STOP TRYIN' TA DESTROY MY ORIGINAL SONICHU!"
"Fuck! Everyone, fall back!" Gesturing to his radio Devil Troll, the PVCC commander grabbed the walkie-talkie out of its little arms and frantically switched channels. "Martinez, Lopez, Chandler just arrived! Execute the extraction order! SILVANA, NOW!"
Violet energy bathed the battling Jerkops and chus as Silvana Rosechu materialized in a field of psychic energy, along with Simonchu, Mitch Sonichu, Michael Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Swift Sonichu, Whispy Sonichu, Trisha Rosechu, and Bobby Sonichu. Where once they had been ready to wipe Cash's forces off the face of the earth, the Chaotic Combo now found themselves facing a formidable match – Silvana, Simonchu, and all seven members of the Asperchu Combo.
"IMPOSTORS!" Chandler shrieked, flailing his arms around uselessly in an attempt to command the surprised Chaotic Combo. "STOP DEM! DEFEAT THA ASPER-COMBO AN' ALL OF DOSE PVCC JERKS AN' THA KING OF THA TROLLS!" Half-sighing, half-screaming, he curled his hands around an imaginary neck and began squeezing the air. "AN' I'LL STRANGLE DAT CLYDE CASH IF IT'S THA LAST THING I DO! NNNGGGGGGGRRAAAAAAHHHH!"
"Full retreat," Clyde spat, falling back with the Picklemen as the Sonichus and Rosechus hurled themselves at each other in a shrieking frenzy of multicolored spikes and lightning bolts. Spared from the encroaching massacre, the Jerkops hurriedly began dragging their injured and dead squadmates away from the fight, stopping occasionally to fire short bursts at the Combo. Around them, the battling Electric Hedgehog Pokémon clashed together again and again, while Chandler continued to rant and whine beside his fallen champion. "FULL RETREAT!"
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, command and control room, 10:45 p.m.
"God DAMN it!" Vivian Gee swore, pacing back and forth through the room as her fellow Miscreants watched with uncertainty from their seats. "Jason, I swear to Arceus, if you or Thaddeus had anything to do with this…"
"As far as I'm concerned, Clyde's following his own agenda," muttered Jason Kendrick Howell. "I can't vouch for Jack, though. Whatever this Loose Ends plan is, he and Clyde have more than enough field experience between them to see it through, especially now that the Asperchus are on the field. The way I see it, all that the operatives need to do is hold out long enough for-"
"That's not the fucking point!" Gee whirled around, pointing to the projector screen on the wall that was currently showing a digital map of CWCville. "Just look at this! We're not going to last two hours if we can't keep our forces from scattering all over the city! You look me right in the eye and tell me this was all part of Cash's plan, Howell!"
"Vivian, please, calm down." Liquid Chris was practically pleading now. The fact that Kacey Devoria was currently leading the defense of Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza wasn't exactly helping his mood. "This isn't the time to lose it. Not when we've got so much at stake." He turned to Gee and adjusted his glasses. "Bryan, could you please sum it up for us?"
"I'll do what I can. No promises." Tapping the keys of his laptop, Bryan Bash hurriedly pulled up a more detailed readout on the projection."Okay. Here's what I can tell. We've got Clyde's squads on full retreat from the Pokémon Center, the Asperchus are fighting the Combo, there's a whole mess of civilian activity going on at Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza, and Jack's en route to extract Clyde with Martinez's squad. KCWC's still out. We've got six squads converging on the Plaza, we still don't know what happened to Naitsirhc, and we've got a ChinaTown squad bringing Schwartz to us." The Miscreant stopped, and took a deep breath. "Also, Shaw somehow put Sonichu out of commission."
"Bloody hell," muttered Jimmy Hill, leaning back in his chair as Max Milvana shot him an evil grin from across the table. "At least that's some good news. Hope they kill the blighter."
"What about the mercs?" asked Robert Simmons. "What do we know about the infighting?"
"If Chandler's out here, the True Blue must've lost," Liquid Chris reasoned. "Best case scenario, the mercs just pack up, slaughter a few hundred chus, and leave the city. Worst case scenario…"
"…they stay, to collect their money," finished Gee. "Christ. That's exactly what we need."
"What we need, Vivian, is a plan." Howell rose to his feet, glaring across the room with his one working eye. "We have almost three dozen Jerkop squads on standby right now, not to mention Bagget, Palazzo, and Meneth. If we're going to take down Chandler tonight, we'll need to start deploying them immediately. We need to establish a foothold on the east side, and start clearing out territory of our own." He smiled in anticipation. "Then we can start taking out the Combo."
"Right." The PVCC commander drew a radio from her pocket and began switching through the channels. "First things first. Bryan, put me through to Cash. I don't care how you do it; just get that guido bastard on the line. If he lets Shaw die, I'm sending him back to Jersey stuffed inside a goddamn Poké Ball." She clicked on the radio. "Jack. Jack, it's Vivian. Where are you? Over."
"Right now? I'm staring into a fucking hellstorm, Commander," Jack Thaddeus snarled through the static-filled connection. The roar of a helicopter was all around him, nearly drowning his voice in the whirl of blades. "And we're about to touch down right in the middle of it."
West CWCville, Lower West District, CWCville Pokémon Center, 10:46 p.m.
"Here! Right here!" Wrenching a flare off of his belt, Clyde Cash snapped it open and heaved the blazing stick into the middle of the street."Extraction's coming in, ETA two minutes! Morrison, get your squad into cover and keep the Sparkies away from the landing zo…GAH!" The PVCC commander was forced to make a rather undignified dash for the safety of an abandoned delivery van as a Thunderbolt lanced through the air two feet from his head. Whirling out from behind the bulky vehicle, he gestured frantically to the nearest Devil Troll. "FIRE!"
"Me gusta," the LIESA unit replied. "IMMA FI-"
ZZZZZZZAAAAAPPPPP!
"RIGHT FLANK! Dexter, cover your ears!" roared Steve, painfully shoving his friend down behind cover as a sizzling Thunderbolt blasted the Devil Troll out of the air. "SERGE!"
"OUT!" Serge shouted back, and heaved the still-spinning Baba Yaga aside. The minigun's ammo drum was dry, its contents expended at last. "IS NO GOOD!"
"Fuck!" The Manajerk cursed loudly as his XM8 let out a click to signal a lack of ammunition. With the gunshot wound in his shoulder, he was having a hard enough time using his arm as it was. For Steve, even the simple act of reloading had now become an incredibly difficult task. "Pick your targets and save your ammo!"
Gripping Origin in a trembling hand, Kevin leaned out from behind the broken chunk of concrete he'd been using for cover and sprinted the last five yards to join the other Honey Badgers. The streets around him were ablaze with lightning flashes and the crackling roars of bioelectricity – byproducts from the immense chu-on-chu battle that was currently taking place inside and around the ruins of the Pokémon Center. What few Jerkops still remained on the battlefield were now either dead, wounded, or fighting for their lives against the lingering EHPF reinforcements. Steve, Kuri, and Serge were somehow still holding out, the latter of whom had been reduced to his sidearm. On the ground, Sugarplum Fury lay curled up in terror next to Dexter's leg, while the civilian was doing his best to make himself as small a target as possible.
Even compared to Kevin's memory of the golem attack, the sheer amount of destruction that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon were wreaking on the city around them was simply breathtaking. No matter where he looked, there was always an Asperchu or Chaotic Combo member dealing out some new form of carnage at their opponents. Inside the ruins, Punchy Sonichu had engaged both Michael and Kitty at the same time, tearing off chunks from the half-destroyed Pokémon Center and hurling them across the battlefield. For a moment, it seemed as if the two Asperchus would be pinned under the assault…until Punchy was interrupted when Simonchu burst out of the ground and smashed him across the face with a heavy block of granite.
Blake and Bubbles, true heartsweets to the end, had nearly submerged Whispy and Bobby in a lightning-laced whirlpool when Swift teleported in and fired off a psychic shockwave, hurling the lovehogs a full fifty yards into the street. Before they could recover, two of Clyde Cash's Devil Trolls flapped over and began strafing them with a barrage of laz0rs. The LIESA units might have actually been able to severely cripple the chus, if Bubbles hadn't obliterated both of them with a dual Hydro Pump. Shouting encouragement to the black Sonichu, she conjured a ball of water around each hand and launched herself back into the melee just in time to deliver a pressurized double punch to Swift.
Further toward the back of the building, Wild and Trisha burst through the ceiling, borne aloft by the flying Rosechu's wings. Desperately trying to control her ascent through a tangled mess of vines, she managed to break free long enough to twist out of the green Sonichu's grip. As Wild fell, she folded her wings and spun in midair, then tackled him right out of freefall. Both of the chus hit the ground, plowing a massive furrow into the icy street and leaving a trail of broken asphalt. Wild was the first one on his feet, but before he could deliver the killing blow, an Iron Tail from Mitch Sonichu sent him flying into the line of EHPF cruisers.
And directly at the center of the clashing chus, Silvana Rosechu and Chris-Chan Sonichu were locked together, lashing out at each other with alternating bolts of electricity and psychic energy. Though she was clearly outmatched by the strength of Chandler's unmatchable supply of tard rage, the psychic Rosechu was holding her own through sheer willpower and quick thinking. Sonichu lay on the ground, winded and unable to move, his own iconic shoes practically fused with his feet in the same way that his own son Robbie had suffered before Steve and Kuri had separated the baby chu from his stumpfeet. It would have been so simple for Kevin to make a run for the downed Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and put a final bullet into Sonichu's brain, but the chances of him even making it ten feet into the battleground were decreasing by the second.
ZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPPP!
"HOLY SHIT! Kevin, what the fuck are you doing?!" yelled Kuri, blasting away with her P90 as a volley of lightning bolts smashed into the blockade. "Steve, there's more coming in from the-"
CRASH! The blazing remnants of the PVCC truck bomb and its destroyed Devil Troll driver burst out of the Pokémon Center, rolling over and over as Silvana Rosechu hurled the wreckage toward Chandler with a psychic blast. Kuri only managed to grab Sugar and roll away moments before the fiery wreckage would have crushed both her and the honey badger into a fine paste on the street. Roaring and shrieking against the asphalt, the burning vehicle smashed through the line of cars, sending embers and pieces of red-hot debris flying out in all directions. Encouraged by this accidental bit of good luck, the EHPF advanced through the line of fire, forcing Kevin and Serge to seek out immediate cover to avoid being instantly electrocuted.
"Arceus! Kuri, stay there!" Steve snarled, whirling towards his fallen comrade and drawing a cylindrical object from his belt. "Kevin! Here! Make 'em count!"
Kevin only managed to catch the incoming ammo by sheer luck as the Manajerk tossed it over to him. Forcing himself to stay calm, he snapped open Origin's cylinder and emptied the spent shells, then inserted the six bullets that Steve had given him. Most of the EHPF were taking cover behind empty cars, and a desperate plan was beginning to take shape. In the distance, the unmistakable sound of a large helicopter echoed between the buildings. It was hard to see anything with so much lightning around them, but Kevin recognized the shape of a Chinook. The massive transport chopper was heading straight for the Pokémon Center. Relief surged through the Jerkop, smashing apart any worries that had built up over the last few minutes.
Clyde Cash hadn't just called in an extraction. He'd called in Los Chupacabras.
With fresh determination, Kevin raised the heavy black revolver, drew the hammer back, and took aim directly at a van towards the center of the EHPF blockade. The bigger they are, the louder they boom. Through the flashing chaos, he could see at least half a dozen Sonichus behind cover around the van, occasionally peeking out to fire Thunderbolts or Thundershocks at Steve, Serge, Kuri, and Clyde. Drawing a breath, Kevin braced himself and pulled the trigger.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Origin kicked back, launching all six incendiary shots into the front of the van right around where its engine was. At first it seemed as if Kevin's plan had failed, but his momentary panic vanished when the front half of the vehicle exploded, erupting in flames with a deafening bang. The Sonichus that hadn't been instantly killed by the blast were immediately hurled out of cover, some with their fur and headspikes ablaze.
"That was good shot!" Serge shouted, and turned to fire at a pair of EHPF officers attempting to circle around and strafe Clyde. "NO YOU DON'T, SHOCK-PIGS! RUN, COWARDS! RU-"
ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPPPP!
"OH, FUCK!" Kuri screamed. "SERGE! SERGE!"
Kevin whirled around, his heart pounding in fear. The sound of a Thundershock hitting flesh was one he knew better than most. It was the sound he'd heard when Matt had died in Hogwash at Sonichu's hands, robbed of his life in a split second by the original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. A direct hit from the bioelectric attack was enough to stop a man's heart, and stronger ones could even turn skin and flesh to ashes. It took all of his strength to look at what had become of Serge.
The bulky Russian man lay on his back, panting for breath and spasming wildly, his black hair and short mustache completely frizzed up and standing on end. Wisps of grey smoke gushed from his nose and mouth, and his eyes looked like they had nearly bulged from his sockets. His shirt and jacket were both on fire in several places, as was his ushanka fur cap.
"Oh, shit. Oh, shit. No no no no NO!" In a matter of seconds, Steve was at his squadmate's side, checking for a pulse and muttering a string of curses under his breath as he hurriedly tried to smother the flames on Serge's clothes. "Come on. Not you too, Serge. Not now. COME ON!"
"Is…" Serge coughed weakly as the spasms diminished. Miraculously, the Jerkop somehow wasn't dead. Paralyzed and in immense pain, yes, but definitely not dead. The Thundershock might have been at only half strength, but it had still put him out of action. "Is…not…problem."
"That's it! We're out!" Beckoning to his Devil Troll swarm, Clyde Cash snapped another flare and began waving it back and forth. "JACK! JACK, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"
The blinding beam of a searchlight swept across the beleaguered Jerkops, drawing Kevin's attention up toward the Chinook helicopter hovering over them. The words La Llorona had been spraypainted on the side, along with the PVCC logo and an image of a weeping Latina woman. As he watched, a single rope dropped from the side of the aircraft, and two figures slid down, one after the other. Above them, two Chupacabras operatives were manning the chopper's miniguns, laying down a screen of suppression fire on the EHPF and any Chaotic Combo members that they could hit without endangering Silvana or the Asperchus. Thankfully, Angelica was still nowhere to be seen. Apart from Chandler and Magi-Chan, she was the only one that could have easily taken down the Chinook.
"Fucking hell," the first man growled, hastily smoothing back his spiky red hair as he hit the street. "Goddamnit, Clyde, you just had to overstay your welcome, didn't you?"
"Retreat wasn't an option. Not now. Not after all we've done since Tennessee." The Miscreant grinned and encircled his friend in a hug. "Good to see you, Jack. You brought Vejovis, right?"
Jack Thaddeus shook his head. "No dice. Gee wouldn't authorize it." He glanced at the Honey Badgers and Dexter, then looked back to Clyde. "Christ. I didn't think you were bringing Jerkops along. We're kinda short on room at the moment. How many more with you?"
"Five. Shaw, Morrison, two Jerkops, and a civilian. And a honey badger."
"Grrowr," Sugar agreed, nuzzling Steve's boot.
"Yeah. We'll manage," Jack muttered as the second figure touched down behind him. "Martinez, bring her down and make ready for extraction. We're getting them all out of here. I don't want to stay long enough for Chandler to realize that we just snatched his rival out from under his nose."
West CWCville, Lower West District, KCWC Studios, 10:49 p.m.
"Too long," muttered Nate. "It's been way too long. Why the fuck are we still here, anyway?"
"Well, for one thing, they took all of our vehicles," answered Frank Hawkins cheekily. The Sea Lion and his squadmate Arthur Thorman had been keeping Nate, George, Carl, and Missy June company ever since most of the other Jerkops had departed on their search for Kevin. "And unless you want to try repairing your bus, we're not going to be able to move you on foot. Not with your leg like that. You're lucky the Olson Twins were able to fix you up." He gestured to the pair of Cosmos medics, Wendy and Mindy, who were currently tending to Patrick Ryan's injured shoulder in the shelter of the half-destroyed radio station. A few dozen hobos and some of the other Jerkops that had been left behind were currently helping to organize the last of the Sonichu family's possessions. With no form of transport from KCWC, they were essentially trapped until the searchers returned.
"Goddamnit." Nate glanced down and sighed, taking care not to move his bandaged leg too much. "That's fucking perfect. I swear, they'd better find Kevin or I'm gonna-"
"Hey, come on." Missy June placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "Nate, your brother's a goddamn hero now. They'll find him, don't you worry."
"Hero? More like a goddamn idiot," George grunted, and received a swift elbow to the ribs from his wife. "Ow! Hey! Sorry if I'm a little confused right now, but when the fuck did 'jumping off a building to fight Angelica goddamn Rosechu' turn into some sort of heroism?"
"That goddamn idiot did more to save this city tonight than any of us will ever do in our lives," countered Missy June. "And I could swear I remember someone giving him a little bit of advice a while ago…something along the lines of 'if anyone deserves to fight back, it's you.'"
"You remembered that, Missy?" George muttered under his breath. "Christ. It's been five years."
"Can't believe I never got ta see 'im 'fore you two." Carl sighed, absent-mindedly patting his old Remington. "Idiot or hero, Frank woulda been proud of 'im, that's fer sure."
"Yeah. Right." Nate rolled his eyes and chuckled dryly. "It definitely wouldn't have been like that half a year ago. You should've seen Frank when Kevin and Kuri were trying to train him. I swear, that fucking snake nearly took out half the-"
"What?" Carl looked up, perplexed. "What're ya talkin' about? Frank died five years back, kid."
"Wait, who the hell are we talking about?" asked Frank. "Last time I checked, I was still-"
"YES!" Arthur leapt to his feet, grinning happily and waving toward the familiar green van that had just rounded the corner with three other PVCC transport vans and a pair of armored trucks accompanying it. "They're back! Arceus, they made it back!"
"Finally," Nate groaned and began packing up his Barrett as the VANguard and its battered entourage screeched to a halt in front of the radio station. The sniper rifle was certainly bulky, but at least it was easy to store. "Let's get the fuck out of here. Can somebody help me up?"
"Don't worry, I gotcha." Missy June knelt down and gingerly hauled him to his feet, while George supported his other side. "How's your leg?"
"Stings like a fuckin' Beedrill," grunted the Jerkop. "Just get me into that van and I'll be fine."
"Frank! Arthur!" The VANguard's front and side doors flew open Geoffrey Richter emerged from inside, accompanied by Leon. "We're leaving! Shaw, you too! GET INSIDE, NOW!"
"What happened?" Nate limped forward, supported by the two hobos. "Did they find Kevin?"
"Yeah, they found him! Your brother's still alive!" Leon yelled. "Actually, he pretty much found us. And you'll never guess what else we picked up in the Pokémon Center!" He pointed at the back of the VANguard, to a handcuffed and noticeably uncomfortable Dr. Bill Schwartz. Smiling, the squad leader turned back to his father. "Looks like Arceus doesn't care too much for backstabbers and traitors."
"Steve's group and a few of our operatives found Schwartz hiding in the incubation room," the Manajerk explained as Frank and Arthur hurried into the transport van to join their comrades. "There was a firefight and Morrison was injured, but nothing serious. We were going to extract him and Kevin and your squad, but Sonichu, Chandler, and the Combo showed up and attacked. Cash ordered a retreat, the Asperchus arrived, and Steve told us to get Schwartz to Wilderness."
"And you left them out there?" Nate snapped, unable to believe his ears. "HE'S MY FUCKING BROTHER, YOU IDIOT! YOU SAVED A FUCKING TRAITOR AND LEFT KEVIN?!"
"CALM THE FUCK DOWN, SHAW!" roared Geoffrey. "This wasn't my decision to make! If I had the choice, we would've brought your whole goddamn squad back! Morrison told us to go without him, and Schwartz's too valuable to lose right now! Cash said he'd get them out alive!"
"God damn you!" growled Nate. "You had my brother right there…and you left him behind."
"Hey. I don't mean to interrupt, but is this a bad time to suggest something other than yelling?"
Nate glanced over his shoulder as Patrick Ryan and the two Cosmos approached from the station. The radioman's left arm now bore a large bandage, and was suspended in a makeshift sling that looked like it had been made from electrical tape and a pair of stained blue jeans. Zero Sonichu accompanied them, his yellow fur matted with blood and his armor and sword both decorated with scratches, dents, and bullet holes. Behind them stood Heather Iglesias and a small collection of five men armed with a variety of shotguns and submachine guns, as well as a flamethrower.
"Ryan." Richter nodded approvingly. "Go ahead. I'm listening."
"Look, odds are that if Chandler's out and about, he's eventually going to remember that I just castrated and murdered his one and only link to CWCville's media." A grin spread across Ryan's face at the memory of Jamsta and Lolisa's executions. "So where's he going to go after he realizes that the Asperchus were just buying Cash some time to get out of Dodge?"
"He already sent the EHPF and some True Blue," Missy June chuckled scornfully. "Look how that turned out."
"We lost over sixty percent of our forces defending the station," Ryan countered. "We won't survive another assault like that, and we won't stand a chance if Chandler sends the Combo." He pointed to the five men. "These guys call themselves the Fighting Irish. We go back a ways, but all you need to know is that they've been fighting the chus on their own up until this point. Now that the whole uprising's started, they're ready to start working with the PVCC."
"An' it's a pleasure to be here, fer sure," the lead soldier added, his voice thick with a heavy Irish brogue. "Sean Collins, at yer service. Me brother Brian's right 'ere, an' these boyos are me squadmates Jack, Kelly, an' Michael."
"Anyway," continued the radioman, "Sean's agreed to help us hold out while you get the rest of the injured to Wilderness. Heather and Kurt need extraction too, and as for Sonichu's stuff…"
"Whoa! Hold it!" Richter interrupted, cutting off Ryan before he could finish. "I've got my squad, Shaw, Schwartz, and Nurse Joy in the VANguard right now. We can't take anyone else."
"Fuck…" Ryan's face fell. "What about the other transports?"
"I don't know." The Manajerk looked around, toward where the few surviving vans were hastily loading up their injured. "I just don't know. We're just too few, Ryan. I'm sorry, but I can't help you." He pointed to George and Missy June. "Get Shaw into the van. We're leaving, now."
"Espera!" Heather stepped forward, clutching a small cardboard box. "Espera! Por favor, señor!"
"What's this?" Geoffrey stepped forward and peered in, then recoiled. "Arceus! Are those…"
"Muy importante…" The Sonichu family's former nanny smiled resolutely and continued in English. "These are very important items for the PVCC! They told me to make sure these things get to your Wilderness place. If you cannot take all of the possessions, then at least take these!"
"That's…" Leon looked into the box. "Holy shit. Dad, you know what this means, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do." The Manajerk pointed to Heather. "You're Miss Iglesias, right? Sonichu had you working there for…how long? Since Cera was born?"
"Si." Undiluted hatred flashed across the woman's face. "Until tonight." She grinned. "I quit."
"We're almost at full capacity, but I think we can squeeze you in, too." Richter smiled and gestured to the VANguard. "Help us get the van loaded, and we'll bring you home. I promise."
"Take care, kid." Missy June patted Nate on the head as she, George, and Carl gently heaved him into a seat next to the rest of the Sea Lions. "Don't worry about us. We made it out here without a car, and we can make it all the way back. Just tell Kevin we're rooting for him, you hear me?"
"Yeah. No problem." The Jerkop reached up and gave the homeless woman a hug, then quickly shook George and Carl's hands as Heather and Leon climbed in after him. "Thanks for everything. Take care, and stay alive."
"That's it! We're full!" Pulling the side door shut, Geoffrey leapt into the front passenger seat and gave Ryan a quick nod before turning to the driver. "Zerek, get us out of this fucking place. Everyone else, stay ready and watch the streets. Howie, Neil, keep your guns on Schwartz."
"You motherfuckers can't do anything to me," spat the scientist. "And when the Combo gets here, you're all going to pay for this. Chandler can't afford to lose me, and neither can you."
"Shut up," growled Maddie, and punched him in the gut. Bill complied, albeit involuntarily.
The VANguard's engine roared as it sped off, carrying Nate Shaw into the snowy streets of west CWCville. Now there was only the safety of Wilderness for him to look forward to…and if Arceus was feeling especially kind, a long overdue reunion with his brother and his squadmates.
Back in front of KCWC, Patrick Ryan watched the transport speed away, his jaw set and his face locked in a dejected frown. Everything had been going so well, but Chandler's intervention had just torpedoed any chance of a clean evacuation from the radio station. With the PVCC on the run, he was going to have to do some improvising if he intended on living to DJ another day.
"Sir?" Zero placed a gloved hand on his shoulder. "Sir, we can't stay here. If we abandon the station and split up, we could…"
"No. I've got a better idea." Ryan shot a quick glance back at KCWC and adjusted the sling on his arm. "Sean, do any of your guys know how to fix an engine? Please, please say yes."
"Ah, sure. Kelly's yer man," replied Sean. "What's yer plan then, Patrick?"
"There's a few dozen hobos and a mountain of stuff that Ledger's squad took from Brunchville Lane that needs transporting back to the PVCC," Ryan explained. "And we've got an entire fucking school bus sticking out of the recording room. Do I really need to say anything else?"
"Ah." Sean grinned. "No need fer that. Leave it to the Fighting Irish, boyo. Leave it to us."
South CWCville, Southern District, on board La Llorona, 10:56 p.m.
"Arceus," groaned Steve, and buried his face in his hands. Outside, the chopper's blades whirled around and around, carrying it to Wilderness "It was right there. The only chance I'll ever get to actually say 'get to the chopper', and I fucking blew it."
"Hey, don't worry." Dexter Booth patted his friend's arm supportively. The little Devil Troll, Loppy, had perched on his shoulder and was now alternating between attempts at stealing Kuri's horned headband and playing with Sugarplum Fury. Towards the back of the helicopter, the Chupacabras' squad medic was busy tending to Serge's burns. "You'll get another shot."
"THAT'S all you're worried about?" Kevin asked incredulously. "We just barely managed to get out of there alive, my brother's still somewhere at KCWC, and all you're worried about is a fu-"
"Do you even know what just went down here, Shaw?" interrupted Clyde Cash as he stepped into the Chinook's transport bay, followed by Joshua Martinez and Jack Thaddeus. "Through some goddamn miracle, you just put Sonichu out of business. You climbed to the top of Chandler's enemies list and crippled the single greatest asset he still has. If he wasn't pissed off before, he sure as hell is now."
"Fan-fucking-tastic," growled the Jerkop. "Why do I get the feeling that you're about to tell me something I'm not going to like one bit?"
"Because that's exactly what's going to happen, assuming you actually listen," replied Jack.
Clyde nodded. "We're not asking for much…just a little participation from you and the rest of your squad. See, over the past few months, Jason, Kathleen, Jack, and myself have been putting together a little plan to show Chandler our appreciation for what he and the Chaotic Combo did to our friends at 4-cent_garbage." His expression hardened for a moment, and Kevin could sense a seething anger lurking beneath the commander's spray-tanned skin and excessively gelled hair. "We're calling it the Loose Ends Campaign. Basically, we feel that the PVCC's been given an unfair disadvantage lately, and we'd like to even it out. Of course, Gee and the other Miscreants would've never allowed us to organize something like this with them…so Jason helped me make an arrangement with the leaders of several Jerkop squads for their assistance. You already know a few of them: Emily, Geoffrey Richter, Hotaru Thodt, Joshua Martinez, Albert Ledger…"
"Son of a bitch." Steve looked up. "You're telling me we've been operating outside the PVCC's control since Hedgeclipper? And Al knew about this all along?"
"They had orders not to tell any of their operatives," answered the commander. "Not even you, Morrison. We couldn't take the risk. And since Ledger's been a Manajerk for longer than-"
"No no no. Fuck that. FUCK THAT." Steve leapt to his feet, clutching his bandaged wound and glaring at Clyde. "Arceus, you're just like Al. It's always the same fucking thing over and over and over. No one ever tells me anything important until it's too goddamn late."
Kevin swallowed nervously, bracing himself for the imminent explosion. Steve hadn't said it, but the Jerkop could have all but guaranteed that he was remembering the death of Zoey. The bitter aftermath of Hogwash and the loss of two of their beloved squadmates had nearly torn the Honey Badgers to pieces, and Steve himself had nearly gone berserk over the next couple of days. To make a long story short, it was the first time that Kevin had ever seen anyone rip out an EHPF officer's pickle with a pair of tongs and force-feed it to the dying chu.
"Your little plan nearly got Serge killed," snarled the Manajerk, ignoring the stares from the other Honey Badgers and the Chupacabras operatives around them. "Your little plan put a fucking bullet in my shoulder. How many Jerkops died at the Pokémon Center, huh? And what for? A room full of hardboiled eggs and a single traitor? And I suppose that makes it all worth it, is that right? IS THAT RIGHT?"
"How many people died at 4-cent_garbage?" Jack countered. "You want to know, Morrison?" He held up his hands, displaying all but one finger. "Nine hundred and sixty-two. Nine hundred and sixty-two. More than half of those were civilians with lives…families…futures. And what did they die for, huh?" He turned away. "You were right, Clyde. He's too unstable for this."
"No." Joshua Martinez stepped forward, standing between Steve and the pair of Miscreants as Lori Lopez and Adrean Grace rose from their seats too. "No, he's not. I worked with Steve when that plane went down, right before the June Offensive. I lost two of my operatives out there, and his squad managed to fend off an entire platoon of EHPF, three True Blue squads, and Wild Sonichu before the PVCC sent in Simonchu to back them up. I'll vouch for him, Commander."
"I did jack shit," muttered Steve. "I was delirious and going through fucking sepsis from feral bites. Kuri's the one who took charge, not me."
"Uh, yeah." Kevin spoke up. "Look, when we're done wasting time, can we get back to the part about Chandler trying to kill me? Not to interrupt this fascinating argument or anything, but I'm sort of worried when this whole situation involves leaving my brother behind."
"No, you're right." Clyde nodded in agreement. "We're about five minutes from Wilderness, and I think it'd be best for you to know what our plan is. Morrison, Tatsuno, Khitrovo, Booth, if any of you want out, now's the time to speak up."
"Since we can't really afford to let you spill the beans to Vivian…" Jack smiled. "We can drop you off in the city. Probably on a rooftop, to save time." He glanced out the window. "Oh, look. We're directly over the abandoned zone right now. Better let us know if you want to-"
"Enough." Steve glanced at his squadmates. "We're in. Not that there's a choice or anything." He turned to Dexter. "Look, you don't have to come with us. We can drop you at Wilderness…"
"No, I'm going too," Booth replied before the Manajerk could finish. "Aki might need our help, and I'm not leaving Kevin now. Come on, it'll be just like the old days, right?"
"Just like the old day," corrected Kevin. "And please…don't go disappearing on us this time."
"Will do." Dexter smiled and patted Sugar's fuzzy head. "Sorry. Please continue, Mr. Cash."
"The first objective is complete," said Clyde. "By putting the Pokémon Center and CWCville General Hospital out of business, we basically just crippled the chus' source of healthcare. Now the only place they can go to be healed is the smaller Pokémon Center in the Mall. He smiled cruelly. "But now we've moved on to Part Two. Here's where things get more complicated."
"Try me," Steve muttered.
"Assuming the Sea Lions manage to get him to Wilderness in one piece, our mutual friend Dr. Bill Schwartz is scheduled for interrogation," Jack explained. "Your squad did a fine job taking him down, Morrison, but now it's our turn. After all, he did betray the Miscreants and the Asperpedia team. I have a feeling that Vivian and the others will want to pay their respects."
"However," Clyde continued, "Schwartz knows a few things from his time in Chandler's company. We've already got all the digital information we need thanks to what your LIESA unit did in August, but there are still three major things missing. Two of them are prisoner locations, and the third…well, we'll get that later. First, we've got to get that information out of Schwartz, and then we need to find those prisoners."
"Mary Lee Walsh?" Kevin's jaw dropped. "You're seriously going to rescue Mary Lee Walsh?"
"Good guess, but not yet." The Miscreant grinned. "See, part of the reason why the Loose Ends Campaign was even able to start in the first place was because of a deal we cut with a certain former gym leader. It was a fair exchange: he helped us cut through all the red tape and gave us access to Slumberland's resources without Vivian knowing, and in return…"
"…we rescue his son," finished Steve, and sank back into his seat. "Goddamn. You cut a deal with Giovanni. How do we even know that Naitsirhc's still alive?"
"Because Chandler doesn't want him dead," Jack stated. "He wants to humiliate him. When Reldnahc was destroyed, Naitsirhc lost most of his power and slipped into a coma. It was easy for Chandler to capture him and teleport him away somewhere, but we don't know where."
"I think I know," Kevin spoke up. His mind was drifting back through the months of silence and torture, back to Sonichu and Rosechu's Christmas party and the reunion with his long-lost little cousin. "Kel. He's with Kel. I remember she said something like 'Nait and I are meant to be together forever.' If anything, Chandler must've given him to Kel."
"We suspected as much, but we need to be sure." Clyde turned to Joshua Martinez. "We should be there in a minute or two. Martinez, keep your squad ready to leave as soon as we get the information out of Schwartz. Morrison, Shaw, take your operatives to the armory after we land and get yourselves resupplied." He glared at Steve. "And remember…no one talks to Gee."
"Hold it." Steve glanced around the helicopter. "If we're going, we're not leaving half of our squad behind. The only way I'm playing along with this is if Al and the others come with us."
"You don't get to make that call, Morrison," answered Clyde. "The Plaza's been churning itself into a firestorm ever since our Hedgeclipper broadcast. We've got about six squads of Jerkops keeping watch on a few thousand civilians, and now you want us to extract just three of them?"
Steve nodded and glanced out the window. "Yep."
The Miscreant's eye twitched involuntarily. "All right. We'll do it." Nodding to Jack, he reached out and pulled the cockpit door open. "Let's go. We've got about half a minute."
"Thanks," Kevin whispered to Steve as the two commanders departed. "I just…"
"Yeah, I know you want to see Allie again," the Manajerk finished. "Hell, you've earned at least that much after all you went through." He shrugged and picked up Sugar, then began stroking her fur. "As for me…I just want my fucking squad back together."
East CWCville, Downtown District, Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza, 11:00 p.m.
"Yeah, and I said I just want my fucking squad back together!" Al yelled into his radio over the deafening chants and roars from the furious mob of protesters that had gathered in the Plaza. Adding to his irritation was the fact that SUZI had perched on his shoulder and was now blasting the soundtrack from Les Miserables into his ear. "Joe, for fuck's sake, put me through to Vivian! Anyone! Hell, I'll talk to Tito if I can! Over! GODDAMNIT, SUZI, WILL YOU SHUT UP?!"
"For the last time, Commander Gee isn't responding," replied Joseph Herring. "I've been sending her messages, but there's just nothing coming through from her end. Everything went dark, and all we're getting is something about the Pokémon Center and the Combo. Just stay where you are and try to control the crowd, over."
"Right! Great idea! Oh, and after that, I'll just walk up to the Shopping Center and give Sonichu a nice hard kick in the crotch plate!" Al hesitated as a terrifying realization began to sink in. "Wait, what? Did you say the Pokémon Center?"
"Yeah. I'll keep you updated if anything solid pops up. Out."
"Goddamnit." The Manajerk stowed the radio on his belt and glanced back at his squadmates. "Whatever's going on, it sounds like Steve's in trouble. Still no news about Kevin…yet."
"Arceus…" Allie's hopeful expression died on her face, instantly transforming into a worried stare. Her claustrophobia was already making her nervous enough with so many shouting people around them, and to top it off, there was still the high probability that something horrible was happening to her boyfriend. The three Honey Badgers had had no contact with Steve's group since they'd left KCWC, and now here they were, separated by nearly seven miles of CWCville, stuck right in the middle of one of the most colossal protests the city had ever seen.
In the aftermath of the initial shootout at Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza that had left two squads of EHPF officers dead, the PVCC's minor victory had worked the civilians of CWCville into a revolutionary fury. Packed together throughout the chilly snow-covered square, thousands of men, women, and children stood shoulder to shoulder, armed with a wide variety of hastily-made cardboard signs and chanting their violent chorus as the Jerkops made their way through the crowd.
Along with the operatives from the Honey Badgers and the Cosmos, several full squads from the Library and Wilderness were also present amidst the angry mob. Overhead, three Crackders from Wilderness hovered above the plaza just in case the operatives needed air support. Several of the civilians were playing recorded footage of the Hedgeclipper broadcast on their smartphones, relishing the shrill cries of panic and agony from the Sonichu children and Rosechu. Even in the face of such uncertainty, Allie couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at the sheer number of protesters that had assembled.
"RISE! RISE! RISE! RISE!"
"Something tells me we're all going to be sick of that chant by the time this whole thing's over with," Jexis commented with a nervous laugh. "Let's just hope they don't get in the way of-"
"MOM! DAD! OVER HERE!" A pair of teenage girls and a pre-teen boy - clearly all siblings - emerged from the mass of people, grinning happily. The older of the two sisters was holding an iPhone, and all three of them had painted their faces with the PVCC leaf symbol. Before Al, Allie, or Jexis could say anything, the newcomers nearly knocked them over, clustering in around the Jerkops as the crowd turned to see what was happening.
"It's you! It's really you!" screamed the younger girl hysterically. "Oh my God, I LOVE YOU!"
"YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!" yelled the little boy, and promptly hugged Al's leg.
"Oh boy. Here we go." Flipping up his welder's mask, the Manajerk smiled down at his new fan. "Hey, buddy. Listen, I know you're all excited about what we did to Sonichu's kids…"
"Oh my God! Oh my God, I just LOVED what you did to that little purple brat!" yelled the older sister. "How did you come up with that…that washing machine thing? Arceus, that was-"
"Is that them?" an older woman interrupted from behind them. "Tony, quick, get a picture!"
The crowd surged forward, enveloping the three Honey Badgers in a suffocating mass of sweaty clothes and flesh. SUZI promptly fired her skirt repulsors and jetted away, giggling and waving down at Al as she hovered and twirled in midair, just out of reach.
"Well, now what?" Allie shouted, holding on to Trogdor as a dozen pairs of hands reached out to touch the flamethrower. "Back! Get back! Get back! Don't touch anything!"
"Guys! HELP!" Due to her shorter height, Jexis was nearly helpless against the surging mob of protesters. Most of them were trying to either hug her, squeeze in for pictures, or plead for autographs. "Get off me! GET THE HELL OFF ME!"
BANG! BANG!
The crowd screamed and drew away as Al fired two deafening shots from his Desert Eagle into the air. Instantly freed and relieved to be out of the human quagmire that had nearly swallowed them both, Allie and Jexis stumbled forward to join the Manajerk at the center of a small space that had opened up. SUZI dropped down from above, landing on the ground next to the Legend's boot. Around them lay a sea of faces, all of which bore expressions ranging from shock and terror to uncertainty. It was a drastic measure, but also one that Al had been forced to take.
"Right," the Manajerk growled. "Listen up, all of you. We're here on assignment, not to give out autographs. Trust me, there's going to be plenty of time for that once we tear Chandler out of the Shopping Center and execute every last chu in the city, but right now, we-"
The crowd roared in approval, drowning out Al's subsequent words.
"HOLD IT!" Al glanced down at the LIESA unit by his feet. "SUZI, megaphone!"
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! A piercing shriek of feedback echoed through the square as SUZI hovered in front of his face and activated her cheekspot speakers to full volume, nearly at the level of her Death Note. Thankfully, she had no intention of melting any civilians.
"HEY! LISTEN!" roared Al. His voice was now significantly amplified due to the makeshift megaphone. "WE NEED TO GET TO THE STATUE AT THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAZA! IF EVERYONE COULD JUST-"
"HI, BILLY MAYS HERE!"
Al whirled toward the raised concrete platform that had been constructed in the central plaza. Directly at the feet of the colossal statue of Anne Boleyn and surrounded by armed Jerkops, the charismatic TV spokesman stood side by side with Allison Amber and Kacey Devoria, wearing his OxiClean shirt and holding up a megaphone of his own as the crowd turned around to face them. Relieved, the Manajerk set off for the statue platform as fast as he could.
"Ahem." BILLY MAYS cleared his throat and started again. "Hi, BILLY MAYS here, and I want to tell YOU about the event you've been waiting TEN YEARS to see! That's right, it's the Great CWCville Uprising, brought to you by your friends at the PVCC, Team Rocket, 4-cent_garbage, Robotnik Technologies, OxiClean…"
"BILLY, please!" the attractive blond woman interjected, grabbing the megaphone from her associate. "Hello! People of CWCville, my name is Allison Amber, and since the year 2006, I've been the official secretary for Mayor Christian Weston Chandler…"
At this, the crowd exploded, showering Allison Amber and BILLY MAYS in a barrage of hate-filled jeers and boos. Several of them lifted posters with crude depictions of the Mayor's face, or began waving around signs with slogans like DOWN WITH THE MANCHILD MAYOR!
"Calm down! Please, calm down! I know you're angry!" Amber shouted. "You think you've seen the limits of Chandler's insanity? I spent three years just sitting back and watching while he and all of his…PARASITES ate this city alive and turned it into hell on earth! But now…" She smiled evilly, brandishing a sheaf of papers in her hand.
"Now CWCville's blood is stirring!" finished Kacey. "The time for revolution is at hand! For all of the innocent lives that were lost at Chandler's hand, for the ones who lived in fear for so long, hoping one day to see the end…THIS IS FOR YOU!"
With a near-hysterical laugh, Amber heaved the paper stack into the air, where it burst apart and began raining down on the crowd like a storm of large, crudely-colored snowflakes. The original and restored pages of the Sonichu comic fluttered into the eager hands of those who surged forth to snatch them as they fell. Al managed to catch a glimpse of several hideously drawn Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, mere seconds before he, Jexis, and Allie managed to finally break free of the raging masses. Hurrying past Jerkops from the Deathbreakers, the Tsunamis, the BMPs, and the Polar Bears that had gathered in the observation room at the base of the statue, the Legend slid to a halt and flipped his mask back down, shivering at the nightmare he'd just faced.
"Thought we lost you back there, Ledger," chuckled Hotaru Thodt as she pulled Al in for a quick handshake. Michael Revok, Johnny Angel, and the other Cosmos Jerkops stood around her, alternately eyeing the crowd and the duo of MAYS and Amber as their makeshift pep rally continued in the background. Desdemona Thorn and Wanda Jones were taking turns tormenting Komen Sonee by burying the little chu in a pile of snow while it screamed "SOWWEEEEEEE!"
"Glad to see you guys made it through in one piece," muttered Al. "So, what do we do now, just wait here until they get angry enough to start chucking Molotovs around?"
"From what I managed to get out of Commander Devoria, we're supposed to be on the lookout for any EHPF that show up at the Plaza for crowd control," answered the Manajerk, scrutinizing the Legend with her cybernetic eye. "Honestly, they'd have to be dumber than Slowpokes if they think they're going to do anything significant against a crowd of this size-"
Tires squealed in the distance, followed by the rumbling roar of many powerful engines. As Al, Allie, Jexis, Hotaru, and the other PVCC operatives turned toward the sound, twin headlights broke through the night air. Then another pair appeared, and another, and another, until a full two dozen battery blue and yellow EHPF cruisers were rolling across the plaza, followed by a dozen blue Humvees. Behind those, three T-72 battle tanks, also painted blue, emerged from the darkness and rumbled toward the statue as the crowd hastily parted to let the convoy through.
"Everyone, get to cover," Kacey snarled, gesturing to Al and the other Manajerks. "NOW!"
Instantly, the operatives separated into their individual squads, dividing up their numbers evenly to repel any flanking maneuvers that the loyalist forces might try on them. BILLY MAYS and Allison Amber wisely dropped down from the statue and began shouting to the crowd, ordering them to get out of the line of fire. If a shootout was to be inevitable, minimizing the number of deaths had just become the highest possible priority. The last thing the PVCC needed was for their crop of civilian revolutionaries to scatter and flee at such a critical moment of the uprising.
Pressing herself against a marble pillar, Allie clutched Trogdor against her chestplate and peeked out at the incoming attackers. The protesters scattered as the EHPF cruisers braked and stopped in front of the statue. From inside, dozens upon dozens of Sonichus poured into the square, taking up positions behind their vehicles and preparing for a shootout of epic proportions. Behind them, the Humvees and tanks ground to a halt one by one, but to Allie's surprise, the mercenaries did not disembark. Climbing onto the hood of the centermost cruiser, a Sonichu raised his megaphone and yelled something into it. Allie strained her ears, but she could hardly hear what the chu was saying. Only when Kacey interrupted the EHPF officer's speech did she realize what had gone wrong.
"TURN YOUR MEGAPHONE ON, YOU FUCKING MORON!" yelled the Miscreant.
"…AND LIKE I SAID, WE HAVE Y'ALL SURROUNDED, YOU DANG JERKS!" the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon continued, ignoring the muffled laughter from the Jerkops entrenched around the statue. "GIVE UP RIGHT NOW AND FATHER WILL FORGIVE THESE HEINOUS SLANDERIZATIONS THAT YOU AND YOUR TROLL KING KEVIN SHAW HAVE-"
Gunfire roared from the Humvees, drowning out the chu officer's words and cutting him apart in a storm of flying bullets. Confused and horrified, the other Sonichus whirled around and were promptly blasted limb from limb as the True Blue opened fire with everything they had. By the time the mercenaries had stopped their onslaught, little remained of the EHPF squad apart from several rows of bloody bodies and two dozen smoking, bullet-riddled police cruisers.
"Hold! Hold your fire!" A man stepped forward from the line of True Blue, his M4 assault rifle raised above his head in a gesture of surrender. "Jerkops! Who's your commander?"
"Kacey Devoria!" yelled Kacey. "What the fuck do you want?"
"I guess you didn't hear what happened at the Shopping Center," the mercenary continued. "Chandler's broke. He's not paying us, and as far as we're concerned, that was the only thing keeping us from doing that…" he gestured to the massacred Sonichus, "…to the rest of those fuckers. I know we're not on the best of terms, but we're done with tolerating Chandler's bullshit." The soldier held out a hand. "What do you say? You guys could use some serious assistance right now."
"Yeah. Yeah, we could." The Miscreant leaned out of cover a few more inches, keeping her own rifle trained on the lead mercenary. "Drop your gun and step forward. Ledger, Thodt, flank them."
"Okay. On me." Al gestured to Jexis and Allie. Cautiously, the two Jerkops advanced behind the Manajerk while the Cosmos spread out to support them. Kacey moved down the stairs one step at a time, never taking her eyes off of the True Blue officer as they approached each other. The man had complied with her request to drop his rifle, and the other mercenaries didn't even seem fazed by the wall of firepower they were currently facing. Even the civilians were moving in out of curiosity, but still keeping well out of the way in case any shooting broke out.
"Name's Jonathan," the soldier continued in a casual tone. "We've been planning this out for weeks now, but lucky for us, tonight's the night." He removed his helmet and smiled. "Now there's no reason to stay on the manchild's side anymore."
"There never was a reason," growled Kacey. "Stay there and don't move a fucking inch. You're going to come with us, and you're going to order your men to retreat until we can reach an agreement. Ledger, move in and take his pistol."
Al drew in a sharp breath. "All right. Keep your guns on him. You got my back too, Thodt?"
"All the way," muttered Hotaru. "Calvin, Desdemona, Michael, Wanda, cover the rest."
Step by step, the Legend made his way down towards Jonathan, his Desert Eagle drawn as the mercenary unbuckled his pistol and held it out. Despite the sudden turn of events, Allie couldn't keep her hands from shaking. Something didn't feel right about this…
"You must've lost a few good soldiers to the Sparkies, huh?" Jonathan asked, nodding to Al with a sympathetic look on his face. "It's madness, all of it. Just pure goddamn madness."
"Yeah," replied Al, and held out his free hand. "Throw it over. Tell your men to pull back, now."
"All right, all right. Everyone fall back!" Flipping his pistol around, the mercenary tossed it to the Manajerk as the Humvees and tanks wheeled around and retreated back toward the streets of CWCville. When he was finally alone, he turned back to the Jerkops. "There. You happy?"
"For now." Kacey pointed to the man. "You're coming with us. We're not agreeing to anything until you talk to the Miscreants."
"See, the thing is…" Jonathan grinned. "There might not be any money left for Chandler to pay us with, but that sure as hell doesn't mean we're going home penniless. And until right about now, you were the only ones in our way." He placed a hand into his coat pocket. "Checkmate."
BANG!
Something flashed from within the mercenary's coat, and Allie realized with a sudden horrified chill that Jonathan had just fired a second pistol. Her cry of shock caught in her throat, drowned out by Jexis's shrill scream and a second sharp report. As Jonathan instinctively dropped flat, she saw the Legend stumble, fall to his knees, and crumple in a heap as a dark stain began spreading out from two holes in the middle and back of his trench coat.
"NO!" screamed Kacey. "SHOOT HIM! SHOOT-"
The onslaught came as if from nowhere, cutting through the packed PVCC operatives from all sides. Desperately looking around, Allie could see dozens of muzzle flashes, all coming from the buildings around the Plaza. Sniper fire tore into the men and women around her, dropping Jerkop after Jerkop like targets on a shooting range. Behind her, one of the Deathbreakers fell backward, her chest perforated with two gaping holes. Around the edge of the structure, two of the men in the Tsunamis squad were cut down, one with a headshot, one with a pair of bullets to the neck and chest. Panic exploded through the operatives as suppressing fire rained down upon them from every direction. Even Kacey's frantic shouts vanished in the commotion. Cut off from all support and surrounded by death, the Jerkops could do nothing but attempt to seek shelter.
A fiery pain blossomed across Allie's leg, just above her kneecap. Too shocked to even scream, she felt herself drift downwards, hitting the cold marble painfully as blood began to seep from the wound in her leg. From the twisted angle she had fallen at, she could see Jexis curled up in a ball, screaming and screaming as bullets zipped past the column she was using for cover. Hotaru Thodt was shouting frantic orders to her squad, but to no avail. Allie could only watch with helpless horror as Desdemona's lower jaw and part of her throat were torn away in an explosion of red mist. Wanda Jones lay sprawled against the base of a marble plaque, still clutching her ruptured stomach in death. Only Michael Revok attempted to make a dash for the safety of the observation room, but before he could even get ten steps out of cover, an incoming round tore through his skull. Outside, Al lay all but motionless on the bloody stairs, shuddering again and again as blood pooled beneath his torso. At long last, the Legend had fallen.
Kevin...Steve...Arceus... Allie prayed, weeping bitterly as her comrades died around her. Anyone…help us…
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, armory, 11:05 p.m.
"Batteries? Rope? Grenades? You want it? It's yours, my friend! As long as you have enough-"
"Just shut the fuck up and let us in, Morshu," Joshua Martinez snapped, fixing the armory guard with an irritated glare. He shoved a piece of paper through the booth's mail slot. "There. Resupply orders from Commander Cash. We need everything on that list, plus about three or four full drums for an M134 minigun and some of those .45 Willie Pete incendiaries."
"Jesus Christ!" The fat man scanned the paper, his flabby jaw hanging open in disbelief. "This is…how did you-"
"Don't even start on that," answered Steve. "We don't have time for this shit. Open the door."
"Yeah. Yeah, all right. Here." Leaning down, Morshu pressed a hidden button beneath his desk. A metallic humming noise sounded through the room, and the massive security doors slid open to reveal row upon row of pistols, assault rifles, shotguns, SMGs, and sniper rifles. Below the impressive gun racks lay many crates and boxes, packed with enough ammunition and grenades to take down a herd of Rhydons. Further back, the heavy weapons – machine guns, RPGs, and grenade launchers – were housed in a line of locked cases. Even with so many Jerkops from Wilderness on assignment that night, there was still plenty to go around.
One by one, the Honey Badgers and Chupacabras operatives filed into the armory, while Sugar curled up in the hall for a nap. The Jerkops had left Dexter Booth on the top floor of Wilderness for debriefing, and now they just needed to wait for the next stage of the Loose Ends plan – the interrogation of Dr. Bill Schwartz. Until then, the two squads intended to put Clyde Cash's personally authorized resupply to good use.
"There you are," Serge muttered, tenderly heaving a cylindrical ammunition drum out of a case next to some unused miniguns. "Serge is glad to have this. Baba will be pleased."
"I'm sure she will, Big Bear," replied Kuri. Even though she hadn't used up all of her P90 magazines during the battle at the Pokémon Center, that hadn't stopped her from taking whatever she could find in terms of ammunition. "Steve, should I grab a few smoke grenades, too?"
"No. Just the flashbangs." The Manajerk reached up to one of the top racks and quickly grabbed four magazines for his XM8, then turned to a rack of revolvers and began searching for his beloved incendiary ammunition. "Hope they don't take too long with the interrogation. And what the hell happened to all the white phosphorous?"
"Sorry Morrison, I can't get that anymore." Morshu gestured at the Honey Badgers from his booth. "Come back when we're a little…mmm…better equipped."
"He always says that. By the time that happens, this whole revolution's gonna be over." Martinez rolled his eyes and tossed some .45 bullets to Kevin. "Here. Those'll fit you fine."
"Thanks." Kevin nodded to the Manajerk and gave the black revolver's cylinder a quick spin. "Hold on. Steve, are you sure you don't want this back?"
"Go ahead and keep it. I'll stick with the classic for now." Steve selected a Colt Python and began filling the pouches on his belt with bullets. "Let's finish up here and get back to Cash. I want to see what they do to Schwartz when he comes in."
"They're not going to let him live, are they?" Kuri asked, just barely concealing the eager hatred in her voice. "I mean, not after what he did to Sean and the Asperpedia team."
"No way. There's no way they're letting that bastard walk out of here," insisted Martinez. "Hell, we know that he volunteered for Sean's execution. Chandler only made Amber do it to prove her loyalty, and as for that Kel bitch, well, she'd do anything to keep her precious Rosechu. As far as I'm concerned, she's no better than Schwartz when it all comes down to…"
"That 'Kel bitch' is my little cousin," Kevin spoke up, his eyes fixed on the Chupacabras squad commander. "I saw what happened to her. I know what Chandler and Sonichu and Rosechu did to her. I knew what she was like before the occupation, and I've seen what she's become. His voice dropped to a low growl. "Don't you ever, ever compare her to that goddamn traitor again."
"Jesus." Stepping forward, Martinez placed a hand on the Jerkop's shoulder. "Kevin, I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't know. Don't worry, there's got to be a way we can save her…"
"The person we need to worry about saving is Naitsirhc," insisted one of the Chupacabras from behind him. Kevin looked back to see Adrean sliding shells into his shotgun, his long black hair partially obscuring his face as he concentrated on his work. "He's our main objective. Nother."
"That's enough, Grace," Martinez muttered. "You're not in charge of this operation, so leave the details to me and Lori. If she's with Naitsirhc, we'll try and get her out as well." He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "I know what Kel means to you, but if she doesn't cooperate, I'm not going to endanger my own operatives just to keep her alive. You understand me, Shaw?"
Kevin nodded, fighting back the tears of anger building in his eyes. "Just…do what you can."
"I will. I promise." The Manajerk turned to Steve. "You ready? They should've arrived by now."
"Yeah, we're good," replied Steve, and beckoned to Kevin, Kuri, and Serge. "Come on. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get out of here and see how Al's doing."
East CWCville, Downtown District, Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza, 11:05 p.m.
"STAY DOWN! STAY DOWN!" yelled Kacey Devoria, pulling her legs up against her chest as another barrage of heavy bullets impacted against the structure's marble walls. The Miscreant's walkie-talkie lay crushed and sparking on the ground, five feet out of reach and completely useless to her now. "GODDAMNIT, EVERYONE KEEP YOUR BACKS TO THE WALLS!"
"Allie! Allie, just stay awake!" Jexis pleaded. She had managed to drag her wounded squadmate into a small alcove in the side of the observation room, and was now in the process of bandaging the young woman's bleeding leg. It wasn't a particularly crippling injury, but the sniper round had cut several veins. If left untreated, Allie could easily die of blood loss in mere minutes.
In the span of a mere three minutes, Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza had been all but deserted. The few dozen civilians who hadn't already scattered after the shooting began were now cowering in terror around the base of the colossal statue. To their credit, the enemy sharpshooters didn't appear to be targeting the unarmed men and women, nor had they used any sort of explosives on the Jerkops. As despicable as their intentions were, even they wouldn't cross that particular line.
The attack wasn't intended to be a senseless massacre after all. The former True Blue soldiers were simply removing their greatest obstacles from the board, and considering the many Jerkops that now lay dead or wounded across the observation room, they were doing an especially good job. Without any way to return fire or even locate their attackers, the PVCC operatives had been rendered utterly helpless by the devastating speed of the ambush. Of the seventy or so men and women who had been assigned to defend the Plaza, only thirty-three now remained alive, and of those thirty-three, only eighteen were still combat effective.
In one fell swoop, the Jerkops had been utterly shattered. It was a perfect trap: deadly and swift.
"Manajerks, sound off!" Kacey ordered, desperately scanning the besieged survivors for any sign of an officer among them. "Wilson! Kouda! Bue! Thodt! Eliasson! For fuck's sake, sound off!"
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" screamed Allison Amber. She and BILLY MAYS had taken cover together towards the back of the room, along with a meager handful of operatives from the Polar Bears, Deathbreakers, and Tsunamis. The Cosmos had been cut down to Hotaru, Johnny, Calvin, and Yuri, the latter two of which had been pinned down while Johnny fought to restrain his hysterical Manajerk. In the chaos, Komen Sonee had managed to escape, but judging by the shrill twee wails echoing above the gunfire, the baby chu had survived the initial attack and was now in hiding. Neither Jexis nor Allie even dared to look out of cover long enough to see what had happened to Al, but it was more than obvious that the Legend needed help, and fast. If Jonathan hadn't already killed him, he would bleed to death without immediate attention.
"Allie!" Wiping a mix of sweat and dirt from her forehead, Jexis pulled a single bandage around Allie's injury and slid a needle of morphine into the crook of her arm. "ALLIE! ANSWER ME!"
"Huh…" The Jerkop's eyes rolled back into her head as a pleasant feeling drifted through her body. The drug was taking hold, and the bleeding had slowed down significantly. "Jexis?"
"Yeah, I'm here!" The medic pressed two fingers against her squadmate's neck, feeling her erratic pulse. "I'm right here, Allie! Just stay awake! We're gonna get out of here, all right?"
"Uh huh…" Allie's voice began to slur. "Where…where's…Al…"
"I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know," Jexis repeated, attempting to keep her voice from degenerating into frantic sobs. "Arceus, Allie, I don't know! He just…FUCK!" She squeezed her eyes shut as a fresh pair of tears ran down her cheeks. "I'M GONNA KILL THEM! I'M GONNA MURDER EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THOSE BASTARDS!"
"We need…to stay alive…" murmured Allie through a haze of morphine. "Don't…do anythi…" Her voice trailed off for a few seconds, then returned. "Jexis…just stay here. Don't leave."
"I won't. I won't. Oh God, I won't." The medic curled up on the floor beside her squadmate, clutching her MP5 against her chest. "What are we gonna do, Allie? What are we gonna do?"
"Radio," groaned the Jerkop. She seemed to be putting every ounce of her remaining strength into forming the few words she could still muster. "Commander…Devoria. Radio…for help…"
Turning back to face the center of the killing zone, Jexis hurriedly began searching the bodies with her eyes, looking for a dead Manajerk or a Jerkop squad leader who still had an intact radio. There didn't appear to be any close enough for her to reach without putting herself in danger, but maybe one of the other officers still had theirs.
"THODT! GIVE ME YOUR RADIO!" roared Kacey, waving furiously to Hotaru. The Cosmos Manajerk didn't reply. She had seemingly frozen in place, her eyes wide and blank as bullets struck the marble around her. "TALK TO ME, DAMN IT! ANGEL, WHAT HAPPENED?"
"I don't know! She's not responding to anything!" Johnny yelled, shaking the Manajerk by her shoulders in a desperate attempt to snap her out of the paralyzed state. Reaching for the walkie-talkie strapped to Hotaru's shoulder, he ripped it free and slid it across the room. "HERE!"
"THANK YOU!" Laughing in relief, Kacey snatched the incoming radio from the floor and immediately switched it to the PVCC administration channel. "VIVIAN! Vivian, it's Kacey! We're under attack and are taking heavy fire, over! For the love of God, COME IN! OVER!" Her face instantly drained of color as she realized what was happening. "ARCEUS! THEY'RE JAMMING OUR RADIOS! THEY'RE JAMMING OUR FUCKING RADIOS!"
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, 4th floor, monitoring room, 11:08 p.m.
"Let's begin again," Vivian Gee snarled, her voice dangerously quiet as Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde Cash, and Jack Thaddeus watched from the other side of the one-way glass. "Naitsirhc da Silva. Giovanni's son. Tell us where he is, or we're going to start getting serious."
"Suck my dick…you fucking bitch," Bill Schwartz panted, his mouth dribbling blood from where Marcus Bagget had punched him ten seconds earlier. Handcuffed and taped to a chair in the middle of the room, the traitorous scientist had earned quite a crop of bruises since the reunion with his former allies. Somehow, he still hadn't broken. "You…you fucking ignorant pigs…you still think you have the upper hand, don't you?" He laughed. "Look at you. Walsh was the one thing holding you jokers together, and Chandler wiped the floor with her. Pathetic!"
"Again, Marcus," ordered the PVCC commander. Obediently, Bagget drew back his fist and punched Schwartz across the face, then leaned in and wrenched the dislocated jaw back into place. The prisoner only had seconds to let out a pained shriek before the Jerkhief resumed his assault. Each blow seemed as if it would be the last one Bill could take, yet the former scientist remained defiant and conscious. It was satisfying, but also quite unnerving to witness.
"Fucking hell," Jason Kendrick Howell growled under his breath, lifting his radio as Schwartz spat up another mouthful of blood onto Bagget's jacket. "Vivian, stop it. This isn't working. You're going to kill him if you keep this up. We need another way."
"I'll take him dead at this point," snapped Gee into her headset. "If it wasn't for this bastard, we'd still have Mary." She glanced up, her eyes burning with silent rage. "What other way?"
"At this point, I don't know," Howell continued, pacing back and forth through the room. "Oh, and Silvana managed to get the Asperchu Combo out of the kill zone without any losses. Still nothing from Devoria or MAYS. The whole Plaza's gone dark. Bryan's been trying them for the last few minutes, but we're not getting any response."
"Fantastic. Just add it to the list of fuck-ups we had tonight." The Miscreant rolled up her sleeves and focused her attention back onto her prisoner. "You think Chandler's going to waste his time on saving your sorry ass, Schwartz? He's probably forgotten you even existed by now."
"Chandler needs me more than ever now," chuckled Bill. "I know exactly what he's got planned for you and your friends, Gee. Your little revolution won't last long after it goes into action."
"You…mother…fucking…TRAITOR!" shouted Gee, punctuating each word with a vicious slap across Schwartz's face. "What plan? What did you do for him? TELL ME!"
"Nope." Bill grinned defiantly. "You didn't say the magic word."
"That's it, I'm done with this shit." Clyde Cash rose to his feet, drawing his S&W Model 500 and heading straight for the interrogation room door. "I'm gonna kill this asshole myself."
"Sit back down," ordered Jack Thaddeus. "We kill him now, we lose Naitsirhc. We lose Naitsirhc, we lose Giovanni. We can't lose Giovanni, you hear me?"
"Commander!" Joshua Martinez saluted quickly as he and Steve entered the monitoring room, accompanied by Kevin and Lori Lopez. "Request permission to watch this scumbag traitor get the shit kicked out of him, sir!"
"Permission granted, Martinez," replied Howell, beckoning to the pair of Manajerks and their squad leaders. "Morrison, Lopez, good to see you again. Shaw, I'm sorry, but we're going to need to keep you here and debrief you while your squad's out on the extraction. If Schwartz doesn't squeal, you're our best hope for finding out whatever Chandler's got planned for us."
"No. Hold on. That wasn't part of the agreement." Steve stepped in front of Kevin, glaring at the Miscreant. "Shaw's staying with us. You can debrief him as soon as we're done with the Loose-"
"Goddamnit, Morrison, shut the hell up!" hissed Clyde as Howell turned off his radio before Vivian could overhear them. Thankfully, she was right in the middle of a shouting match with Bill. "You want to blow the whole operation? Fine! Then you can just tell Giovanni yourself. I'm sure he'd love to hear how you got his kid murdered."
"Right." Steve nodded. "But what I said still stands. We agreed on that, Commander."
"Yeah, it's true," Jack added, looking apologetically at Howell. "We're not gonna let him die out there, Jason. We've got two full squads, a chopper, and a flock of Devil Trolls. Don't worry."
"Not worrying isn't an option now, Jack," muttered the PVCC commander. "We barely managed to get Shaw out alive, and now you want to send him back to the guillotine." He glanced back to the interrogation room. "In the end, it all depends on whether this motherfucker talks or not."
"He hasn't said anything yet?" Lopez looked shocked. "How long has he been here?"
"That ChinaTown squad dropped him off about four minutes ago," replied Howell. "Liquid and Hill are debriefing Iglesias and Joy at the moment. Gee and her friends don't suspect a thing, and we'd like to keep it that way, at least until this operation's finished."
"What about my brother?" Kevin asked hurriedly. "Did they get him out of KCWC? Is he-"
"Yes, the extraction was successful," Jack answered. "He's being treated in the infirmary. You can check on him when we get back, after the debriefing."
"Hold on a sec." Steve approached the glass, pointing to Schwartz. "You said he's not talking?"
"Yeah, that's right." Howell gritted his teeth in frustration. "It's a goddamn clusterfuck. We just lost contact with our squads at Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza around the time Richter's operatives arrived, and unless it's just some kind of power failure, Devoria's been cut off. Looks like you're going to get your extraction after all. But we can't leave until Schwartz spills the-"
"So we're just sitting around waiting while three of my squadmates just got cut off out there?" Steve clenched his fingers into a fist and slammed it against the bulletproof glass, startling Gee and Schwartz. "You want him to talk? Fine. I'll make him talk." Dashing toward the door, the Manajerk pushed it open and peeked out. "Kuri! Get in here!"
"Wait, what?" The PVCC commander whirled around. "Morrison, what the hell are you d-"
"You called?" Kuri stepped into the room, adjusting the messy hair around her headband. Most of her teal body paint had rubbed off during the course of the fighting, but she was hardly out of the game yet. "Holy shit. That's him, isn't it?" She grinned sadistically. "Yes. OH, YES."
"They're having a little trouble getting him to sing," explained Steve. "Do I need to finish?"
The Jerkop shook her head. Her savage smile widened a few millimeters, and something truly terrifying flashed from behind her eyes. "No you don't, Steve. It would be my pleasure."
"Wait." Jack held up a hand, staring worriedly at the operative's face. "You'd better be sure about this, Morrison. Remember, we need him alive. If your Jerkop accidentally kills him…"
"She won't." Steve placed a hand on his squadmate's shoulder. "If there's one person standing in this room who can get what you want out of this particular asshole, it's her. I'd bet my eye on it."
"Okay. Great. We'll do it. We'll fucking do it!" Clyde snatched the radio out of Howell's grasp. "Vivian, it's Clyde. We're sending in one of Morrison's operatives to take over on Schwartz. Get Bagget out of there before he breaks something vital."
"Damn it. Fine." Behind the glass, Gee rose from her seat and walked away from Bill, shooting a vicious glare back at the handcuffed scientist. Marcus Bagget hesitated, then followed her out into the monitoring room. "We beat him half to death and the bastard still won't talk. Jason, Clyde, Jack, I hope you know what the hell you're doing."
"We don't," Howell muttered, and glared at Kuri. "But you'd better hope to God that she does."
East CWCville, Downtown District, Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza, 11:11 p.m.
"Goo-gee!"
"Gaa-gaa!"
"Wosey!"
Pushing himself upright, Al shook the dizziness out of his head and looked around. The place he was in was strange, but oddly familiar. Toys, games, and boxes of cookies and crackers had been scattered through the room, and what seemed to be over a hundred Sonees and Roseys were playing together around the nursery. Shrill squeals and infuriating laughter filled his ears, and he was immediately reminded of a certain incident many years ago. A colorful sign on the playroom's wall read Laughyland: Where All Babies Are Free To Hug And Play…NO HOMOS!
"Oh, God…" muttered the Legend, massaging his aching head. He remembered a pair of shots, a burning pain in his chest, and then silence. This had to be purgatory, and it seemed as if he was going to have to relive Laughyland again before he could pass on to the afterlife. If that was the case, then at least it could have potentially been much worse for him. Much, much worse.
"You again?" a puzzled, high-pitched voice asked. Al nearly jumped in surprise as a colorful pink pony with huge blue eyes and some sort of tattoo of three balloons on its flank materialized in the nursery. Several of the baby chus let out happy squeals and waddled up to the newcomer, hugging its legs with their armstubs. Even if Al had been able to understand where it had even come from, he wasn't about to start questioning God's will, especially if He had for some reason decided to take the form of a cartoon pony.
"Uh, hi there," he replied, waving confusedly at the little horse. "Who are you?"
"A projection, I think." The pony giggled hyperactively, and her eyes became unfocused. "Wait. No. This isn't right. Hold on." She squeezed her eyes shut and promptly vanished in a puff of pink smoke. In the second it took Al to blink, another figure had emerged from the cloud – a large floating spherical red creature with horns, a single green eye, and an enormous gaping mouth. "There we go. Better. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that you're not supposed to be here, Al."
"I think you've got the wrong Al," interrupted the Legend, slightly taken aback by the ridiculous turn of events that his trip through purgatory had taken. "I'm not dead, am I?"
"Lots of people thought you were," the hovering beast answered matter-of-factly. "I've seen how this goes, you know. Sometimes you live, sometimes you die." Before Al could even respond, it continued. "What I DO know is that they want you alive. In short, Al…keep up the fire."
"What? Who wants me alive?"
"KEEP UP THE FIRE! INDIGO SQUAD, MOVE IN AND SUPPRESS 'EM ON THE RIGHT!"
Pain flashed through Al's abdomen as his eyes snapped open. One hand was pressed tight against the two bullet wounds in his gut, partially preventing him from losing too much blood too fast. He was curled up on his side in a sticky pool of red, while the sounds of gunfire and footsteps on concrete thundered around him. His vision hadn't yet returned to normal, but from what he could see, there were definitely people shooting at each other across the Plaza. Most of the ones closest to him wore black and blue armor, and there were no signs of any Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.
"Huhhh…" Al gasped, gingerly rolling onto his back. There was a sharp spike of pain, but he couldn't feel the telltale pressure from any bullets inside his torso. The two shots must have been close enough to pass all the way through him, even with his supposedly bulletproof vest. Then again, the True Blue had come to rely on Teflon-coated rounds, so there was that as well. Whatever the case, he needed to get back to the observation room, or at least away from the firefight. If Allie and Jexis were smart, they'd stay behind cover, out of the mercenaries' sight.
Of course, the Legend was simply telling himself all this to keep his mind occupied. If he was to let his rapidly-increasing levels of suppressed fear, panic, and rage get out of control, then he was as good as dead, and so were his squadmates. This was just another Desert Storm, and he was just down behind enemy lines. The soldier that Al had been was in full control now.
"You okay? Sergeant, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good, Trish," snarled a familiar voice. "Everything went as planned. Nice job."
Painstakingly turning his head toward the sound, Al froze as his eyes settled onto Jonathan and another two mercenaries. The trio of True Blue soldiers were crouched behind a marble slab only seven feet from the fallen Manajerk. Al had dropped the Desert Eagle, but if he could somehow draw his M1911 without them noticing, he knew he would be able to take down all three of them before they could even react. Clenching his jaw to dull the pain, he began moving his arm down.
"You think we'll be out of here in time?" asked the woman, quickly checking Jonathan's chest for injuries. "Holy shit, you're lucky. That guy in the welder mask wasn't buying the act at…"
"IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!"
A deafening SHOOOOOOOOOOOP! echoed across the plaza as the upper half of Trish's body exploded outwards in a flying slew of viscera, bone, and cloth. Swearing at the top of his lungs, the True Blue sergeant vaulted over the slab just as SUZI slammed into the second mercenary and delivered a vicious slash across his throat that nearly took his entire head off. The LIESA unit's eye-screens were locked in their red Extermination Mode setting, and with part of her cloth costume torn away, almost all of her previous cuteness had been obliterated. The fact that she was now covered in a coating of fresh blood only served to reinforce that statement.
"GODDAMN IT!" roared Jonathan, whirling out from behind the slab and desperately opening fire with his assault rifle. "FUCK! YOU FUCKING LITTLE PIECE OF-"
"PICKLE SURPRISE!"
SHICK! SLASH!
"GAAAAAHHHHHH!" The M4 clattered against the ground as the mercenary toppled backwards, his right hand squirting blood from where SUZI's arm-blade had sheared straight through his fingers. Desperately pushing himself backwards with his legs, Jonathan grappled with his belt holster in a vain attempt to draw his hidden pistol. Unfortunately for him, the LIESA unit wasn't about to give him even the slightest chance of success.
"HI THERE!" she squealed, hovering in front of the panicking True Blue sergeant. "My name is SUZI the Devil Troll! You killed my father!" An ominous click sounded from her head as she retracted her mouthguard again, taking aim at her foe's crotch. "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!"
SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
Jonathan's death scream was rendered mute by the deafening roar of SUZI's laz0r as it neatly bisected his body from groin to head. Wasting no time, the little robotic Rosey jetted down to Al's side and wrapped her armstubs around the wounded Manajerk's head.
"S…SUZI…" coughed the Legend. The world was darkening around him, but the LIESA unit's eye-screens still shone as brightly as ever. "SUZI…please…help…"
"You got lots and lots of holes in you!" commented SUZI somewhat needlessly. Raising a stub, she extended her flamethrower and activated the pilot light. "Kill it with fire? Pleeeeeeeeease?"
"God…damn…it…" Al grimaced, knowing what was about to happen. It might buy him a few more minutes, but it would definitely hurt like hell. "Goddamnit! Yes! Just do it!"
"WOOHOO!" squealed the combat drone. "FLAME ON! IMMA FIRIN' MAH FIRE!"
SSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
"RRRRGGGHHHH! GAAAAHHHH!" Al curled into a ball, his body spasming wildly as SUZI drove the flickering blue flame into each of the bullet wounds and held it there until the flesh was successfully cauterized. Somewhat lightheaded from blood loss, the Manajerk lay twitching on the ground in a storm of pain, unable to move while SUZI watched in curiosity.
Dozens of sniper rounds were still coming from the buildings surrounding the Plaza, striking in and around the statue observation room while the Jerkops inside unsuccessfully attempted to return fire. Al couldn't tell how many casualties the PVCC had taken, but what he could see were the three inactive Crackder drones hovering over the square. Why hadn't Kacey or one of the other Manajerks called for air support, or better yet, why hadn't the Miscreants sent backup?
Oh fuck. They're jamming us. The Legend's stomach churned as he remembered a rather terrifying incident during his tour of service in Kuwait. Some rather ingenious enemy technician had managed to rig up a jammer device in the back of a truck, which had resulted in Al's platoon being forced to locate and destroy the target in the dead of night with complete radio silence, all while fending off attacks from Iraqi ground troops. Now here he was, wounded and close to death, once again silenced by some devious piece of technology.
Devious piece of technology…
"SUZI," Al wheezed. He knew he was minutes, perhaps even seconds away from blacking out, and what he was about to say could either save or doom him and his beleaguered comrades. "SUZI, something blocked our…our radios. I need you to…find the mercs operating that fucking jammer…and laz0r the ever-loving shit out of them." He winced as pain shot down his torso from the uppermost bullet wound. "Go. GO! DO IT NOW, SUZI!"
"Me gusta." The LIESA unit nodded and lifted her armstubs towards the sky. "TO INFINI-"
FOOM! SUZI's skirt repulsors fired, launching her into the air and drowning out the rest of her yell. Exhausted from the impromptu surgery, Al flopped onto his back, breathing heavily as he watched the little drone ascending higher and higher into the frigid night sky. She didn't seem to be following the radio signal, for some reason, but instead was on a direct course for somewhere high above the Plaza.
"No…" breathed the Legend as his last hope vanished into the darkness. Something had gone wrong. SUZI wasn't tracking the jammer. She hadn't even listened to him. One little glitch, and she was gone, probably off on some pointless quest to find a jar of raspberry jam or something. The cold sting of failure gripped Al's heart, piercing his battered body again and again with every labored breath. He'd been given another chance by a pony and a Cacodemon, and now that chance was literally flying away.
Closing his eyes, Al lay down in a final act of surrender. He didn't know what he would say to Allie and Jexis when he saw them in the afterlife, but then again, he wasn't even sure if he would end up in the same place as them. At least he would escape CWCville…but at the same time, he could feel a bitter disappointment creeping through his veins. If only he had survived to see the end of the war…the last war he would ever face in his life.
"See, I was on the verge of breaking down… Sometimes silence can seem so loud…"
In the distance, music began to play. It was faint, yet it echoed through the entire square and the streets of CWCville, filling the cold air with R. Kelly's voice. Instantly, Al's eyes snapped open.
"There are miracles in life I must achieve… But first I know it starts inside of meeee…oh, oh…"
One by one, the three Crackders turned in midair, angling down to cover three different sections of Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza. As Al stared up in confusion, the Transformers reconfigured into combat mode simultaneously and descended over the statue, each one extending twin miniguns from its wings and a long plasma cannon from its ventral side.
"If I can see it…then I can be it… If I just believe it…there's nothing to it…"
"Automated override accepted," the jet-sized drones stated in their harsh electronic voices. "Combat pattern Defender, aggressiveness maximum. Target pattern switching to…True Blue."
"I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYYY!" sang SUZI, clinging onto the lead Crackder for dear life as she blasted the song through the Plaza at full volume. Waves of explosive rounds and bursts of sizzling plasma energy rained down from above, impacting among the panicked True Blue and carving a massive swathe through their ranks. The crash of shattering glass sounded above the explosive chaos as the massive PVCC support drones began marking targets and opening fire on the hidden mercenary sharpshooters. "I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYYYYYY!"
"God…damnit, SUZI…" Al breathed, shuddering violently as unconsciousness set in. "Yes…YES...YES!"
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, 4th floor, interrogation room, 11:15 p.m.
"I can do this all goddamn night, you fucking sissies," Bill panted, struggling to hold back the tears of pain that had gathered in his eyes. His head was still on fire from Bagget's beating and his formerly dislocated jaw ached with every miniscule movement, but he still hadn't broken. In his mind, the traitorous scientist could only imagine the terror on his former colleagues' faces when the wrath of Chandler and the Chaotic Combo finally fell upon them. The capture was merely a setback, a delay in the face of the unstoppable tidal wave that was sure to come.
Gee would be the first one on the chopping block, that much was sure. Her and all of her pathetic friends would die before their revolution came full circle…her Miscreants, Howell and his 4-cent_garbage commanders, the genetic failures of Alec Benson Leary's creation that now called themselves Asperchus, that fat bastard Ivo Robotnik, and especially Giovanni. In his years as a member of Team Rocket's research and development unit, Schwartz's opinion of the gym leader had undergone a dramatic downward spiral, culminating in the embarrassment known as Project Blachu. Oh, it had worked. It had worked better than anyone had expected. And yet, he had been denied his rightful recognition for producing Blake Sonichu from the original Sonichu's DNA. He had been denied the fame and respect that Giovanni and Robotnik had promised, and now…
Creeeeeak…
"Back so soon?" Without even looking up, Bill rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. "I wonder-"
CRACK! Something heavy and long whacked him hard across the face, toppling both him and the chair sideways onto the cold floor of the interrogation room. Through a haze of pain in his nose and the side of his head, the scientist could hear light footsteps approaching from the doorway, and the ominous clattering of wood against the concrete.
"What was that, Billy?" Kuri giggled, spinning her heavy field hockey stick up in her hands to admire the smear of freshly spilled blood that now decorated its blade. "I can't hear you over the sound of your face caving in. Would you mind repeating that last part?"
"Oh, God. Not you." Bill gasped, struggling against the handcuffs and tape as blood oozed from the large gash on the bridge of his nose. "Oh, you bitch. You fucking bitch."
"So you do remember me!" the Jerkop giggled coldly. She knelt beside the fallen prisoner and gently lifted him and his chair back upright. "Oh, and I remember you, Doctor Schwartz. I remember everything about you." Circling around until she was face to face with her captive, Kuri leered at him, relishing each and every second of the reunion. "What was it you called me back at the Pokémon Center? 'Lost little wild girl?' My, my, we do go back a long way."
"Fuck…you." Bill snapped his head to the left, sending a few thick drops of blood into his tormenter's face. "You goddamn psychotic cuUAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!"
"I'd rather go back to living the abandoned zone than end up a turncoat like you," hissed Kuri, pressing the hockey stick's blunt tip against the bridge of Schwartz's lacerated nose as a new flow of blood gushed from the wound. It was the kind of sadistic pleasure she lived for, the kind that she and Steve had just inflicted on Robbie Sonee less than four hours earlier that night. But now here she was, alone with the man who had cruelly tormented her so many years ago. Lost in the nightmare creature that her own mind had become, she had been unable to even speak to anyone, let alone interact in any civilized way. Al, Steve, and her now dead squadmate Ricky Malone had eventually freed her from Ker, but not before Schwartz had conducted many twisted tests and experiments on her. Just the mere memory of cold, sharp needles plunging into her arms and the back of her neck was more than enough to reignite the old hatred in Kuri's heart.
Moving quickly, the young woman lashed out, slamming the blunt side of the stick directly into Bill's mouth and hooking the curved end around the back of his neck to keep him from falling over again. With a sickening crunch, several bloody teeth flew free of his gums, clattering across the floor like tiny marbles. Schwartz's agonized shriek was abruptly silenced when Kuri lunged forward and shoved a balled fist into his mouth, preventing him from closing it. Before he could draw another breath, she released her grip on the hockey stick, grasped one of the loosened teeth with her free hand, and wrenched it out of his mouth in one hard yank.
"NRRRRGGGGHHHH! RRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Oh, I love playing dentist with you," Kuri murmured softly, smiling as Bill's piercing screams echoed around her. "You always make the best music, Doctor. How about we make some more together?" She leaned closer to the prisoner's bloodied face. "Or perhaps you'd like to sing?"
Still reeling from the horrific pain, Bill glared up at the Jerkop with utter hatred as tears streamed down his face. He could barely talk through the shattered remains of his mouth. "Nuth…tulkin."
"Babbling nonsense again?" Kuri shook her head disgustedly. "Really, I thought you were better than that. After all, you were the one who gave us the Asperchus…and Blake, to a lesser extent."
"Goth…dumn…muthanths…" choked the scientist. "Miththakes, all ob them. Leary's hreaks won' standa chanch againth the Mayohr…" Pulling himself up in his chair, he pitched forward and spat a thick glob of blood onto the floor. "Blake Sonichu is my greatest creation, idiot girl. The speed and strength of Sonichu himself, engineered into a near-perfect clone. You really think that handful of Electric Hedgehog failures has a chance against him and the Combo?"
"Well, Chandler didn't think we'd ever have a chance of killing Rosechu and her brats," replied the Jerkop. "Remind me…who was in charge of security for 14 Brunchville Lane, anyway?"
Unable to clench his remaining teeth, Bill shot a look of pure loathing toward Kuri. "Butcher. They were unarmed and helpless, you twisted, psychopathic murderer. If that fucking spic nanny of theirs hadn't blown the whole thing, you and your squad would've been hanged by now."
"Always shifting the blame away from yourself," Kuri sighed. "You really are like Chandler." Playing these games with Bill was certainly satisfying, but she knew that the Miscreants were counting on her to get the info they needed. Unless she stepped up her game, they would never find Naitsirhc in time. The sooner she and the rest of her squad were reunited with Al, Allie, and Jexis, the better. "And speaking of the Mayor, let's change the subject. What would happen if, say, Chandler ran out of money to fund all those little projects he got you working on?"
Bill perked up, a genuine look of horror etched on his face. "What?"
"You didn't hear the reason why the True Blue turned on Chandler, did you?" Kuri asked. "Did you think they just got tired of doing his dirty work?" She giggled. "He's broke, Billy. Bankrupt. Down in the red. Oh, and all that work you did for him? All those hours you spent helping him to tear us down?" The Jerkop shrugged. "Right now, I'd say it was just a big waste of time."
"No." Bill shook his head, trying to piece together what his tormenter was implying. His eyes grew huge as a look of absolute betrayal crossed his face. "He wouldn't. He wouldn't dare."
"Oh, he did." Kuri nodded as she drew a small paring knife from her belt. "Everything you ever made, every secret you ever kept, every favor you ever did for him was all for nothing, Billy. No money. No recognition. No fame or fortune or praise or gratitude. Not even a thank you. Maybe he might've given you some Respect Points if you really got on his good side. After all, that's what he tried to bribe the mercenaries with, and just look at how well that worked out!"
"LIAR! YOU GODDAMN LYING BITCH! OH GOD! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"
"So as you can see," continued Kuri, and shoved the tip of the blade into the tiny opening between Schwartz's left thumb and its fingernail, "there's really no reason why Chandler would go through all the stress and hard work to arrange some sort of rescue mission for you." The Jerkop leaned in and winked, adjusting the headset that Vivian Gee had provided her with before she'd entered the room. Clyde and Howell were feeding her instructions, but the tortures she'd used were hers and hers alone. She needed no guidance on her methods…only on what to say to her subject. "If it were up to me, Billy, I'd give you half a day of playtime before I let you die."
There was no response from Schwartz, apart from another high-pitched scream.
"But unfortunately…" The Jerkop sighed wistfully and pushed the knife all the way in until the point touched the base of her thrashing victim's thumbnail. "Unfortunately, that isn't the case now. For some reason, Commander Gee is keeping you alive, on the condition that you cooperate with our demands. If you do, we'll just give you back to the chus and you can ask Chandler whatever you want about your money or whatever." She grinned down at the prisoner. "But if you don't, well, I'll be back in a few hours. Then we can play our little game again!"
"GAAAAHHHHH!" shrieked Bill. "ENOUGH! GODDAMNIT, ENOUGH! STOP! STOP IT!"
"Sorry, what? Say it again."
"STOP IT! STOP IT! AAAAAAHHHHH FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCKING STOP IT!"
"What," Kuri giggled, "is the magic word?"
"PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLE…EEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
"See, that's what you could've done a long time ago to avoid all this nastiness, Billy," the young woman mused as she withdrew the knife and wiped the bloody blade on Schwartz's cheek. "Well, if you're serious, of course I'll listen to you. Let's start with Naitsirhc, shall we? We know he's alive, but not where he is. Tell me where Chandler's hiding him, and I'll stop."
"Fuck…you…" Bill panted, gripping his bleeding thumb with the other fingers on his left hand. He was shaking violently, but apart from the missing teeth, the nose wound, and the partially-separated thumbnail, the scientist was physically no worse off than he'd been when Kuri had entered the room. "He…Chandler had him sent to that girl's house while he was still in a coma."
"What girl?" asked Kuri. "Kel? Kel Felix?" Her eyes narrowed to a vicious glare. "The one who helped you murder Sean?"
Schwartz nodded desperately. "That's her. He's being held at her cabin in Viridian Forest. All I know is that she keeps a team of Rosechu guards around the property…they call themselves the Chaotic Scouts. I was assigned to the recovery project after Sonichu rescued those four Rosechus from Leary's compound the day Chandler returned from the Time Void. They were already halfway through the Asperchu procedure…I just needed to bring them back to full health and infuse them with a few elemental powers to give them an edge." He took a deep breath, gritting his teeth against the pain. "That's it. I can't give you anything else. Please, just let me go."
"All in time, all in time," the Jerkop murmured dismissively. "Second question. What's the…" She paused, listening to Clyde repeat the question in her earpiece. "What's the override code for Mary Lee Walsh's cell, and where are they keeping her?"
"CWCville Penitentiary. I don't know which level. Probably the Abyss or wherever Bubbles keeps her prisoners. Chandler never told me." Bill slumped in his chair, sobbing helplessly as tears stung the wounds on his face. "He only uses a single password for everything, but he had me change it after that LIESA unit got into the Shopping Center. It's 'SonichuChrisChan1982'."
"Heh. That's good." Kuri chuckled. "One more piece of information, and then we're done." She listened for a few seconds, and her amused smile slowly changed into a confused frown. "What's…wait, what? What…is the location…and launch code…of Project…Moonshot?"
Bill's eyes bulged. "How? How'd they find out about that? It wasn't even in the CWCipedia…"
"Be smart about this, Schwartz," Clyde Cash's voice echoed through the room from the speakers in each corner. "You threw your lot in with the same person who thought it was a good idea to stuff Sonichu's daughter into his rectum. Now you get to pay the price for Chandler's naïveté. Give us the launch code, or we'll leave Tatsuno in there with you for ten fucking days straight."
"NO. NO NO NO NO." Straightening up, Bill stared directly at the one-way glass. "It's in Lightning District, right underneath the Lovely Weather Hotel. Chandler had the entire thing converted into a facility to house CWCSPACE One. He had me handle security for it. I set up a retinal passcode for the launch itself. Only Chandler and Crystal can actually authorize it."
"But that's not the whole story, is it?" Kuri tapped her hockey stick against Schwartz's crotch. "You and your cute little backup plans. Come on. Look me right in the eye and tell me the truth."
The scientist sighed. "Nothing is idiot-proof when Chandler's involved. I built in a failsafe using my own retinal pattern, just in case the worst should happen. Magi-Chan has access as well."
"Chandler's not an option," mused the Jerkop. "So to get inside, we'd either need to bring you along with us, get our hands on Crystal, or somehow find and kill Magi-Chan Sonichu?"
Bill nodded, his expression growing more and more hopeful by the second. "Yeah. That's right."
"Well, that just sounds like an unnecessarily difficult task right now," Kuri giggled, and raised her paring knife again in a grotesque parody of the many cruel operations that Schwartz had performed on her so many years ago. Reaching out with her other hand, she pushed the prisoner's eyelids wide open to expose the slimy, twitching orb within. "What was it you used to tell me before your experiments, Billy? Oh, yeah. You won't feel a thing."
West CWCville, Lower West District, CWCville Pokémon Center ruins, 11:18 p.m.
After spending the past few hours in a state of escalating tard rage, Christian Weston Chandler was finally beginning to calm down to the point where he could think again, provided that he felt up to it, of course. This was due to three reasons. First and foremost, he was confident that, as the battle drew to a close outside, Kevin Shaw would soon show up and allow himself to be beaten after a brief altercation. And once the King of the Trolls was behind bars where he belonged, and Sonichu's family safely returned alive, Chris could finally get back to his plans for the evening.
The second factor was that he'd also figured out Kevin Shaw's scheme. It was so obvious…how did he think that anyone would fall for an idea so half-baked? All of the evidence had fallen into place, and Chris had put the pieces together faster than he could say "Snergen Flergen". One of the main reasons the Sonichu comics had so many fans, after all, was that it was based on true and honest events taking place in his city. As soon as he could figure out how to sell Sonichu in markets outside of CWCville, he knew that he'd be raking in the big ones like nobody's business. After all, at his last estimate, he had approximately one billion fans across the world, eager to shower him with praise and money for sharing his hand-drawn original stories with them.
There had been snags, of course. Being creative, he'd found, was unimaginably hard, but thanks to Sonichu, he had no shortage of amazing ideas for future stories. He knew that the PVCC had always been envious of his creativity, and from there had sprung the answer. It all fit together now. Shaw wasn't any more creative than he was, and everything…everything that had gone wrong over the course of the past year was the result of the vile troll's scheming ways.
The fake Combo? Obviously weaker than the originals. Clearly, Shaw was going to use them to take over CWCville and turn the city into a nightmarish prison, all the while insisting that they were true heroes! His plan was to send them out to commit evil deeds, and then he would write his own stories about their "heroic exploits"! The mere thought of someone doing something so heinous made him sick. And then, he'd make himself the star of Sonichu's comic like the vile egotist he was, killing and kidnapping any of Chris's original characters who stood in his way!
Finally, the third reason was that Silvana Rosechu had fled, along with the Asperchu Combo, presumably because Chris had once again proven too powerful for her to match. His foes' escape hadn't bothered him very much, as he knew that she was going to end up with Magi-Chan the moment she got her feelings for him all sorted out. After all, Magi-Chan had seen the future. And now the three Combo members and Blake were entering the room, no doubt to tell him...
"Father, we could not find Shaw," Wild reported. "It appears he ran away in the chaos caused by the False and Dishonest Clone-bo." He smirked with glee at the clever insult he'd just created.
While that was exactly what the Mayor had been expecting, it didn't belay the surge of fear for his life and copyrights one bit. No matter. There wasn't a person in the city that Magi-Chan couldn't track down! All he had to do was ensure that every single one of his creations was being watched at all times, and Shaw wouldn't stand a chance!
"Magi-Chan, come in!" Reaching out into the ether, he projected his mind-voice towards his greatest asset. "I need y'all ta tell me where errybody-"
"Your thought has been heard fully, and your ideas inputted for better improvement." the psychic Sonichu's voice muttered through his head. "Thank you for your time and efforts."
That was good to hear. No doubt, Magi-chan would be watching over his friends as always. Though that alone should have been more than enough, Chandler still felt that he had to make absolute sure that nothing else could go wrong tonight.
"Alright y'all," he projected, visualizing a collection of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon heads in his mind. "Here's tha plan. Wild, Simonchu is no doubt working with Kevin Shaw in violation of his pardon; we can't risk having dem come back, uh, ta finish tha' job dat dey started with Simonla. I want y'all ta take Sandy Rosechu to tha Shopping Center where she will safe, uh, be tha safest. Tha' same goes for Blake an' Bubbles; Shaw might try ta kidnap dere bay-bees next, as unlike Sandy, dhey can't defend demselves. Stay close ta dem at all times, an' ensure dat dey are safe."
"Fear not, Father!" Wild declared, swinging away through the hole that he and Trisha Rosechu had smashed in the roof. "The only one to lay a hand upon Sandy's body tonight shall be me!"
"Tee-hee!" Bubbles giggled as she took her leave through the front door like a sensible person, her black-furred mate floating along behind her like a balloon animal. "Sure thing, Papa! C'mon, Blakey-boo; I bet there are still lots of ways we can still have our fun tonight!"
"Patti-Chan," continued Chris, "I need y'all ta commence preparations for settin' up tha barrier around tha Mall. I am countin' on y'all ta keep tha' PVCC from getting' in, jus' like last time."
"Of course, Christian, but what about-"
Chandler closed the connection to his beloved dog the moment he heard a "yes". He had a lot of orders to give and wanted to get through them quickly. And besides, Patti-Chan had been giving him a lot of stress lately, complaining and complaining about something moving under her skin.
"Bionic," he sighed. "Tha god-dang PVCC is, uh, tryin' ta cause m…tryin' ta cause errybody stress, an' I am SICK of it! Get to CWCville Mall on tha double an' assist with tha defense."
"That's a 4-10 on dat, homie!" the orange hedgehog replied with a wink. "Just let me finish this game of b-ball! Hey, did you know that I can score over a hundred points in a single game?"
"Of course I know dat, Bionic. Stay safe and have a good day." Chris paused, then moved on. "Darkbind Sonichu! Remain in RuleCWC for tha moment. We can handle PVCC here, but we can't rule out a chance dat dey might launch a sneak attack an' kidnap Zelina Rosechu when y'all are not present an' accounted for where y'all are!"
"I shall not fail you, Father! This sounds like an excellent excuse for us to grind our levels!"
That took care of the first problem. Shaw wouldn't be able to harm anyone else tonight, not with those unbeatable tactics in place! Still, that just left the problem of actually finding Shaw, so that he could defeat him in fair and honest combat and put him in a jail cell where he belonged.
"Magi-Chan," he began again. "I also need y'all ta tell me where Kevin Shaw is hidin' tha-"
"Your thought has been heard fully, and your ideas inputted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts."
The Mayor was starting to wonder if Magi-Chan was even listening to him. He had no idea what was going through the psychic Sonichu's head tonight. Why did he keep refusing to do even the simplest tasks? What could possibly be more important than ensuring that Chris could solve all of CWCville's problems as quickly and easily as possible? Well, it didn't matter. He had alternatives. And maybe this was just all part of Magi-Chan's plan! Chandler knew he would win one way or another, because he was the hero of this story, and heroes always won in the end.
"Angelica, I need y'all ta search for Kevin Shaw from tha' skies; Magi-Chan is refusing ta do it himself for some reason, and y'all are our best chance."
"I will…Christian!" answered Angelica. Her breathing was labored, her voice racked with pain. "As soon as…as the Lo0rd sees fit to…restore the hit points stolen by…Shaw's vile serpent!"
Chandler shivered involuntarily. How could Kevin Shaw have obtained so much power that he had been able to seriously hurt such a peace-loving Rosechu as Angelica? Only the most unholy and disturbing person the Mayor had ever had the displeasure of knowing could have granted so many evil trolling powers to Shaw. Though he was certain that the antidote had cured Naitsirhc of his homosexuality, Chandler still felt uncomfortable about doing the interrogation himself.
"Crystal, I need your help!" he beseeched his cloned sister. "I suspect dat Giovanni's son has not been, uh, has not been nearly as sincere about his reformation as I had hoped; join tha Chaotic Scouts at Kel's cabin an' find out if he dishonestly gave his powers ta Kevin Shaw!"
"Of course, Brother!" replied Crystal. "I'll be on my way faster than a speeding bullet!"
There. That should be all. Still, Chris felt as though he was forgetting something important…
"WAAAAHHHH! WAAAAHHHH! NO SWICE! NO DWOP! WET ME GOOOOOOO!"
Oh, right. The god-dang video was still playing.
"Magi-Chan," he pleaded, "will y'all at LEAST shut down that dang-"
"Your thought has been heard fully, and your ideas inputted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts."
"Y'ALL ARE IGNORING ME, AREN'T CHA?" Chandler ranted. "IT IS EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL TA DO SOMETHIN' LIKE DAT, AN' I FOR ONE DO NOT APPRECIATE IT ONE SINGLE-"
An enormous headache promptly pounded through Chris's head. His psychic fitness was only slightly above his physical fitness, and his brain was simply not conditioned to handle so many messages at once. He'd have to wait a while before sending any more requests this evening, but that was what his phone was for. What the hell was Anna doing, anyway? She'd had plenty of time to fix the problem!
"Anna, what tha heck are you doing?" he asked, speed-dialing his missing propaganda director.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! "Sonee! YAY!" BEEP BEEP! "FOR FUCKS SAKE, GIVE ME THAT, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" BEEP BEEP BEEP! "PFFFFFFBBBBBTTTTT! HEEHEEHEE! YAY!"
Chris hung up. Obviously, Anna was somewhere where she couldn't get good reception. Sighing again, he returned to his psychic broadcast.
"Punchy, you need ta go ta KCWC," he ordered. "Jamsta an' Lolisa no doubt know a way to get dat dang slanderous broadcast OFF THA AIRWAVES FOR GOOD."
"There will be hell to pay if Shaw dares to preempt my Samurai Pizza Cats!" With a howl of fury, Punchy charged off, needlessly demolishing yet another wall in the process.
Chris heaved a contented sigh. That was all the orders he'd needed to give, and sooner or later, he'd have Kevin Shaw at his mercy. Still, the night was COMPLETELY RUINED! Almost reflexively, he began to dial Rocky Shoemaker's phone number. Complaining to her usually made him feel better, though even the Mayor had his doubts that even she could mend the heart-constricting stress that Shaw and his cronies had inflicted upon him tonight!
"DADDDDDDEEEEEEEEEE! HEEEEEWWWWWWWWWP MWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"SHAAAAWWW!" Sonichu screamed as he attempted to stand up. Needless to say, the original Electric Hedgehog Pokemon was not happy to regain conciousness to the sound of his only son's death wail. "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU DIRTY COWARD? COME OUT HERE SO I…OOF!"
WHUMP! The hero of CWCville promptly tripped, slamming face first into the ash-covered ground. It was only then that he realized his shoes had been fused together by some malevolent energy, and almost instantly, his rage was overwhelmed by despair. Was this what the rest of his life was destined to be? At this point, all he had left to cling to was the hope that if he managed to kill Shaw, some of these horrible feelings could be negated by even the tiniest of fractions.
He couldn't stop looking at his shoes. The Jerkops had destroyed every pair of sneakers he had ever owned, save for his original pair. All of them had been indescribably special to him – the pair he had worn to his wedding, the pair he'd worn when he and Father had rightfully punished Simonla's murderers, and now, the shoes he'd worn when each of his children had hatched. Now his wife, his son, and his daughters were no more than his shoes…twisted, broken, and dead.
Father was in the ruined Pokémon Center lobby with him, preoccupied with something on the phone. Sonichu wanted to believe that everything had ended in his favor-that Shaw had been defeated, that he'd been taken away to await execution and that before he died, he'd revealed a way to bring Rosechu and the kids back to life. He wanted so desperately to ask Father to confirm this belief for him. But he couldn't. He was too scared of what the answer might be.
For once in his life, Sonichu was scared to ask his creator a question. He wanted to believe…he desperately wanted to believe…that Father was right, that every horrible thing that had transpired in the past few hours had all just been a troll lie, and that everything would be okay. But every time he'd placed his faith in Chandler tonight, it had always ended in horrific, bloody failure. He'd trusted Father when he'd assured Sonichu that nobody would dare harm his family, and now Rosechu and the children were dead. He'd trusted Father when he'd basically promised to bring Cera back to life, only to see his firstborn daughter transform into some hideous, pumpkin-like abomination. Now, more than anything, Sonichu needed to believe that everything was going to be resolved…that Father had at least bothered to put his prized creation's priorities ahead of everything else in his life. He'd done so much for Chris…he was owed at least that much!
"Well, yeah, y'all are right. I could, uh, coulda always jus' call tha' Sony Consumber Services Department an' get my account back, an' I will do dat as soon as I take care of business here."
A strange sound reverberated through Sonichu's head. It reminded him of the grinding noise the family's Playstation 3 had made when Robbie had shoved his DVD of The Phantom Menace in with his copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 at the same time, thinking that doing so would unlock lightsabers and Force powers for Sonic, Shadow, and Silver.
"Father…" he begged, clapping his hands over his long ears. "Please…"
Chandler didn't even glance at Sonichu. He was far too engrossed in the conversation as it was.
"FATHER!"
"What?" sighed the Mayor. "I will have you know that I am very busy at tha moment, Sonichu! Y'all should know better than ta inner…uh…interrupt me when I am on tha phone with Rocky!"
"TELL ME…" Sonichu fought to keep his speech from devolving into gibberish. "TELL ME YOU GOT HIM. TELL ME THE MURDERER OF MY FAMILY IS DEAD OR CAPTURED."
Chandler heaved an enormous sigh of frustration. "For tha last time, Sonichu, your family is NOT DEAD. That is jus' some dang trick dat Shaw is tryin' ta play, an' I do NOT like dat y'all are, uh, dat y'all are still fallin' for it. Y'all shouldn't…ya shouldn't be givin' me stress just 'cause y'all are too slow on tha update!" He crossed his arms. "An' for your information, Kevin Shaw HAS escaped, because I had ta stay here and protect you from Clyde Cash an' Silvana Rosechu!"
"But Father…are you…are you at LEAST doing SOMETHING about it?!"
"I'M WORKIN' ON IT!" Chandler nearly screamed. "I am just about ta go an' invest-agate a few things. You can just stay here an' think about tha' APOLOGY y'all owe me for causin' me stress - you have NO IDEA how stressful MY EVENING has been tonight, an' I am SICK an' TIRED of ERRYBODY GIVIN' ME THA STRESS!" "Now, y'all can come join me if you like, but y'all are gonna need ta apologize, an' PROFUSELY SO when errything is done an' dusted. Peace."
With that, Chandler touched his medallion, transformed back into Chris-Chan Sonichu, and left for the Shopping Center. He hadn't even bothered to suggest a way for Sonichu to heal his feet. For the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, it felt as if GodJesus had forsaken him, his dead family, and the world. How would he get his righteous and deserved revenge now that Shaw was gone?
Sonichu tried to feel angry, tried to feel indignant, tried to feel anything but despair. But he couldn't. All he could feel was the cold touch of absolute abandonment. Rosechu was dead. Robbie was dead. Cera and Christine were dead. And Chandler still didn't seem to care about the pain he was enduring! But Kevin Shaw...this was all his fault! If he hadn't succeeded with his nefarious scheme…if his actions hadn't just so happened to interrupt Father's plans as well…if the True Blue had just been competent enough to deal with a few measly bank robberies…
The all-encompassing rage flooded through Sonichu once more. He needed to find Shaw, avenge his family, and get Father to forgive him for causing him stress. But first, he needed to find a way to fix his feet. His healing factor had failed him. He could feel it trying its hardest to heal the burns, but the process was being met at every corner by melted plastic. He knew he would have to find a conventional way to fix himself if he was going to get his revenge on the Jerkops and trolls who had cost him his rightfully deserved family!
Desperately, Sonichu looked up at the front desk. The PC was broken, and so was the healing machine. Even if that was the case, there was no way he could have possibly used them…not without any of the staff aiding him, anyway, and they were nowhere to be found. Wincing with every inch, Sonichu dragged his battered body towards an open door that he knew led back to the delivery rooms. Rosechu had always needed a constant supply of Full Restores when she was giving birth, so all he had to do was pull himself to the nearest...
"Sonichu is sooooooooo SMALL compared to you, heartsweet!" his dead wife moaned gleefully in his mind. "So naïve, too! I cannot believe that he thought 'his' daughter was a shiny!"
"I only wish that we could be open about our feelings, my love," a second voice replied. Sonichu recognized the source instantly. "Alas, I have foreseen that we must continue to do so in secret."
"Tee hee! How romantic!" giggled Rosechu. "I am happy to be with you, Magi-Chan Sonichu."
"GAAAAAHHHH!" Sonichu screamed, dragging himself as far as he could away from the door. He didn't care which direction he was moving in, as long as it made the voices in his head be quiet once more. Magi-Chan hadn't been having an affair with Rosechu! It couldn't be possible! It just couldn't! He would have much rather believed that Father was wrong, and that his wife and children had died horribly, if it meant that Rosechu hadn't betrayed him for that purple-
The room was growing hotter by the second, and the once-smooth floor had now become awfully sticky, with all sorts of liquids that Sonichu didn't have time to identify. It didn't matter, anyway, as his ears were currently being assaulted by what sounded like the screaming of the damned. Around him, baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon languished in various states of injury and death, some of them fighting to free themselves from the eggs that had protected them from so long. The overheating hatchery was slowly cooking every one of the little chus alive, and Sonichu was right in the middle of the chaos, alone and abandoned by the Combo and his own creator.
"Wuuuuhhhh…" a dying Sonee moaned, its skin cracked and splitting like bloody, parched earth.
"WAAAAHHHH!" shrieked a Rosey, her tiny brain clearly visible through her translucent skull.
"Guuugghhhh…" gurgled an egg, as the unborn larva suffocated inside its boiling albumen.
It felt as if Sonichu had just crawled into hell. The heat was everywhere, baking him on all sides like some giant oven. He wanted to cover his ears and block out the noise from the dying baby chus, but he knew that he still had to make it to the other side. Maybe, just maybe, the salvation he was seeking lay past the gauntlet of damnation. Holding back the screams and the nausea building inside of him, he began to crawl, one step at a time, through the nightmarish steam bath.
Halfway across the room, three tiny figures materialized before him. Sonichu nearly collapsed in a heap as he recognized his children. They seemed to be unhurt, in fact, it was almost as if they-
"You'we too ugwee an stoopid an swow fow Mommee!" Christine squealed smugly as her body dissolved into a puddle of lemony-sweet blood."I'm gwad you'we not MY Daddee!"
"DADDEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Robbie, his body already flaking away into ashes. "WHY DID YOU WET ME DIE? WHY WEWEN'T YOU DERE TA SAYVE MWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"
"GWWWOOOOOOOEESEEY!" howled Cera, her bulbous figure twisting and warping in ways that defied explanation before she melted into a bubbling pile of Orange Soda and human feces.
Sonichu screamed. Closing his eyes, he crawled as fast as he could toward the exit, through the pile of ashes that had once been Robbie, the liquids that had once been Cera and Christine, and the very real pieces of broken eggshell and scraps of flesh from the aborted Sonees and Roseys. And still he kept on going long after he'd left the hatchery behind, crawling and crawling until he finally rammed headfirst into the wall with enough force to knock a small object out of a wall-mounted first aid kit that someone had left unlocked. Opening his eyes, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon gasped. It was a Full Restore - one shot from it would return him to full hit points. It wouldn't save his ruined shoes, but it would definitely be enough to get him back on his feet.
And as soon as he could get to a new pair of sneakers...well, he would make absolutely sure that Shaw knew what it was like to suffer as he had.
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, 4th floor, monitoring room, 11:20 p.m.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Jack Thaddeus swore, his jaw hanging open as he, Clyde, and Jason watched the gruesome display playing out on the other side of the glass. "Goddamn. You weren't kidding about her, Morrison. What the hell did Schwartz even do to that girl?"
"She's got a rare form of multiple personality disorder," explained Steve. "When we picked her up in 2003, she was living by herself, surviving off of ferals in the abandoned zone. Schwartz was in charge of her rehabilitation at Slumberland, and let's just say he got a little carried away in terms of his experiments. This was before we knew he was a traitor, obviously."
"And…finished!" Kuri stepped out of the interrogation room, her arms and hands spattered with drops of red. Behind her, Bill Schwartz's agonized screams echoed through the tiny chamber as blood sheeted down half of his face from his mutilated eye socket. Grinning evilly, she held up a bloodstained eyeball. "Steve, I got you a replacement. Hope you don't mind the color brown."
"Heh. Funny." The Manajerk reflexively adjusted the patch over his missing eye. "So that's me, Commander Howell, and now Schwartz. Is losing an eye just the 'in' thing right now?"
"Hold on," said Kevin. "If we're going to cooperate with your little Loose Ends plan, we're going to need a few questions answered. First off…what the hell is Project Moonshot?"
"Chandler's been working on a space program in CWCville for some time," explained Howell. "His plan was to put a satellite in orbit above the city so that Magi-Chan could use it as a psychic relay for tracking homosexual activity. My guess is that Schwartz was in charge of most of the technical stuff. Say what you want about him, but he's definitely a genius. If Chandler gave him access to the city's resources, I'm not sure I want to know what he was able to build."
"It goes without saying that since Schwartz is no longer an issue, that space program's not going to be going anywhere fast." Clyde Cash held out a plastic Ziploc bag to Kuri, who obediently dropped in the eyeball. "That leaves us with a direct line of access to the launch facility. If he was telling the truth…and for his sake, he'd better have…then we just might have found the single most important asset of this entire revolution." He grinned. "CWCSPACE One."
"A rocket?" asked Martinez. "What are we gonna do with it? Launch it at the Shopping Center?"
Jack shook his head. "That would be far too risky. Chandler might still have civilians working in the mall, even with the True Blue rebellion going on."
"Not likely," Kevin muttered. "Not even Anna wanted to hang around after that."
"Besides, there's just too much valuable information in the CWCipedia for us to even risk the possibility of destroying it all," added Howell. "The world needs to know what we did here. The world needs to know what Chandler did to his own people during his reign of terror. They need to know what we fought for, what we died for, and all that we sacrificed." His voice dropped to a low growl. "I will not let Gee's so-called 'protocol' stand between us and vengeance for the innocents who died in Tennessee."
"That was a nice speech," said Steve. "Hell, we're with you all the way on that, Commander." Locking Howell's remaining eye with his own, he pointed in the rough direction of Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza. "But as I recall, there was a certain condition that had to be met first. Now that we've got the information out of Schwartz, I don't see a reason for any more delays."
"Neither do I, Morrison. We need to move, and we need to move fast." The Miscreant pointed to Clyde and Jack, then to Steve, Kevin, Kuri, Joshua, and Lori. "Take them to the hangar and clear La Llorona for an immediate departure. I'll keep Gee off your backs while you get to the…"
"Please say it." Steve's face lit up. "Please say it. Please say it."
"…helicopter," the Miscreant finished, glaring at the Manajerk. "Get to the helicopter. Now."
East CWCville, Downtown District, Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza, 11:24 p.m.
"BASTARDS!" screamed Jexis, unloading her MP5 at the nearest cluster of True Blue soldiers she could see. With a hellstorm of minigun rounds and plasma blasts raining down upon them from the three Crackder drones, the mercenaries' advantage had been turned on its head. "YOU FUCKING BACKSTABBING BASTARDS! DIE! DIE!"
"Just shut up and keep moving, Cadet!" Kacey Devoria ordered. Even with the PVCC forces cut down to a mere twenty-three, she fought on with unquenchable bloodlust, her mouth locked in a vicious snarl as she continued shouting orders to her ragged band of survivors. "Kouda, Eliasson, move your operatives forward to the edge! Burton, Angel, Rusticov, give me a sitrep on Thodt!"
"Still nothing!" yelled Calvin, desperately squeezing his frozen squad commander's hands. "She's going through some kind of shell-shock! Come on! Get up, Hotaru! GET UP!"
"M…Michael…" the Cosmos Manajerk whimpered, shaking back and forth as she stared at the limp bodies of her fallen operatives. "Wanda…Desdemona…please…no…"
"Get her away from them!" Jexis yelled. Firing off a last volley at the True Blue, she dropped to her knees and slid across the observation room to the group of Jerkops. "Move! Let me through!"
"Okay! Johnny, Yuri, just keep talking to her!" Calvin turned to the Honey Badger medic. "Arceus, this is a fucking nightmare! What the hell's happening to her?"
"CSR!" answered Jexis. "It's just minor combat stress reaction! What happened? Who's hurt?"
"Don't bother…" The squad leader clenched his teeth, pounding his fist against the bloodstained marble in helpless fury. "They're dead. Those fucking mercs took 'em down before we could-"
"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!" Hotaru screamed hysterically, startling her squadmates as she struggled to grab the young medic's arm. "YOU'RE A GODDAMN MEDIC, AREN'T YOU? I'M NOT GONNA LET THEM DIE LIKE THIS! FUCKING HELP THEM!"
"Hotaru! HOTARU!" Calvin hurriedly moved between them, gesturing wildly to Jexis as she crawled away in terror. "Go! Go help the others! We'll handle this!" Turning back to Hotaru, he and Johnny managed to restrain the furious Manajerk. "Hotaru, we're still here! We've still got Wendy and Mindy to worry about! You can't do this shit now! Please, just fucking stop it!"
Panting and wiping cold sweat from her brow, Jexis stumbled past a small group of Jerkops from the Polar Bears and Deathbreakers squads. From the few glimpses of the battle that she managed to catch, the majority of the True Blue assault force had been forced to seek cover behind their assortment of jeeps and battle tanks, pinned down by the lead Crackder while the other two Transformers continued to rain destruction upon the snipers. With the jamming device destroyed, BILLY MAYS and Allison Amber had managed to make radio contact with Wilderness, but it was hard to hear anything they were saying over SUZI's loud and horribly off-key singing.
"What took you so long?" snapped Kacey as the teenage medic dropped back into cover beside her. The mercenary soldiers still weren't retreating, despite the odds having radically shifted against them. "Cadet? Cadet, how are we doing on wounded?"
"Not too good right now!" Jexis panted. Thoughts of Al had been flashing through her mind ever since the Legend had been shot. She didn't know whether the Honey Badger squad commander had already died or was only bleeding out, but each second made the first option more probable. "Five more KIAs, Commander…I couldn't get to them all in time."
"Motherfucker!" Yanking a frag grenade off her belt, the Miscreant heaved it at a pair of True Blue hiding behind one of the Humvees. "Just what I fucking needed! At least tell me you managed to stabilize some of them!" Peeking out of cover, she raised her M4 and fired off a long burst before Jexis could answer. "MORE ON THE RIGHT! BASE OF FIRE, SHIFT RIGHT!"
"Kacey? KACEY!" The commander's radio crackled as Liquid Chris's voice sounded from its speakers. "Kacey, honey, tell me you're okay!"
"CHRIS!" Relief flooded across Kacey's face as she sank down next to Jexis, grappling with her walkie-talkie. "Thank Arceus, Chris! Thank Arceus! Tell me there's reinforcements coming!"
"Vivian just sent out a chopper a minute ago!" Liquid replied hurriedly. "They're sending in Clyde and Jack by air, and I'm bringing about five more ground teams! We're almost there! Just hold out as long as you can, and for the love of God, stay alive!"
Jexis could hear it. In the distance, a searchlight flashed between the buildings, and the helicopter was just barely audible over the sounds of battle across the plaza. A silent explosion of joy and desperate relief surged through the teenager as the Chinook drew closer and closer. At last, help was coming. At last, there was hope again.
"AL! HANG ON!" she shouted out loud, and vaulted out of cover before Kacey or any of the other Jerkops could stop her. Through the storm of tracer rounds and flares, she could see the great shadow of a Crackder overhead, its miniguns raking the True Blue with dozens of deadly rounds per second. The ominous hum of a charging plasma cannon sounded above the Plaza, and Jexis was nearly blinded as a crackling sphere of blue fire lanced down into the front of a T-72. As the battle tank flew apart in a deafening explosion, the grating rattle of another two miniguns echoed behind her as she ran. Lines of explosive bullets impacted on the street, churning a group of three mercenary soldiers into little more than red mist and dismembered flesh. Heedless of the bullets zipping back and forth around her, Jexis fired off a quick burst from her MP5 and hurled herself forward. She hit the ground hard, her arms covering her face and head.
Al lay on his back, pale and limp, his trench coat soaked with blood. Ripping her squad leader's welding mask off, Jexis pressed two fingers to his neck and was rewarded with the faintest pulse she had ever detected. Somehow, the pair of bullet wounds in the Legend's abdomen had been burned shut, which helped explain why he hadn't bled to death. Still, the Honey Badger medic had tended to enough injured Jerkops in her short career to know that the Manajerk was literally minutes from death. She had to do something to help him, and she had to do it fast.
Freezing wind washed across Jexis's back, and the roar of the helicopter grew louder and louder in her ears. Someone was shouting at her, but she didn't care. Working quickly, she unzipped her medical kit and retrieved the last emergency bag of whole blood that she had brought along. She had used up most of her supply on Allie and the seven other injured Jerkops she had treated over the course of the ambush, but to save the Legend, she was prepared to give Al her very last drop.
Behind her, two pairs of boots hit the ground simultaneously, followed by more and more as the PVCC reinforcements fast-roped into the battlefield. Surprised, Jexis whirled around just in time for Steve and Kevin to nearly knock her over in their haste. Serge and Kuri quickly moved to set up defensive fire, while the operatives from Los Chupacabras took up positions around the plaza and began advancing on the faltering True Blue.
"AL! OH, FUCK! AL, NO!" Steve screamed, falling to his knees beside the dying Manajerk. "GODDAMNIT, WE NEED AN EVAC, NOW! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, JEXIS?"
"They fucking turned on us!" shouted the medic, hurriedly inserting a needle into Al's arm and fastening on a tube from the blood bag before she passed it to the blond Jerkop. "They're trying to exterminate us so they can loot the whole goddamn city and get their money! Steve, hold on to this! I might've bought him some time, but we've got to get him out of here now!"
"Wait!" Kevin's voice was nearly consumed by panic. "Allie! Where's Allie?"
"Back at the statue!" Jexis yelled. "She took a round in the-"
Kevin dashed off before his squadmate could even finish her sentence. His heart was going at what seemed like several hundred beats per minute, and even the new AK-47 in his hands still wasn't enough to drive back the cold, primordial fear that had been building inside of him ever since the burning remnants of Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza came into view. The very thought that Allie was in danger kept him moving, even in the face of fatigue and a severe lack of sleep. If there was even the slightest possibility that she could have been killed in combat…
"ALLIE! ALLIE!" he shouted, stumbling through the reeking kill zone that the Plaza's statue observation room had become. The bodies of dead Jerkops blanketed the marble floor, their faces pale and blank while pools of blood slowly turned to red ice beneath them. Kevin moved from body to body, praying to God and Arceus that his eyes wouldn't fall upon Allie's beautiful half-burned face. He hadn't survived the battles at the Shopping Center and the Pokémon Center just to find his girlfriend gunned down by the True Blue. The ambush had confirmed his worst fear – not all of the mercenary soldiers intended to simply pack up and leave CWCville empty-handed.
I'll kill them all, he thought as a stab of fury blazed through his heart. The chus, the True Blue, the Combo, Sonichu, Chandler…if she's dead, I'm gonna kill every single fucking one of them.
"GET DOWN! GET THE FUCK DOWN!" A steely grip fastened around Kevin's wrist as Kacey Devoria pulled him behind a slab of marble that she and half a dozen Jerkop survivors were using for cover. "Wait…SHAW? Arceus, you're still alive! I don't fucking believe it!"
"That's right, Kevin!" BILLY MAYS added loudly, grinning from ear to ear. "For just two easy calls to the CWCville Shopping Center, I arranged for Officer Grant and Officer Perez to get you out! It's as simple as that! But wait! Since you went after the Mayor and left the officers behind, I had them evacuate Allison and myself, and we doubled the number of people rescued! And if-"
"No time!" snapped Kevin, scrambling upright and locking his eyes onto Kacey's. "Commander Devoria, we're extracting the rest of my squad! There's another wave of reinforcements coming in from Wilderness, but I need to find Allie Parker before we can take off!"
"I just lost over fifty Jerkops, Shaw!" the Miscreant yelled, her eyes blazing with fury. "You tell Clyde and Jack that there's no goddamn way…no goddamn way they're leaving us out here!"
"I…" Kevin hesitated. "Look, we're operating under Commanders Cash and Thaddeus right now. We only came here to extract Al, Allie, and Jexis…we had no idea you were under attack-"
"UNDER ATTACK? THIS IS A FUCKING MASSACRE!" screamed Kacey. She sounded close to absolute madness. "WE'VE GOT TWO DOZEN INJURED OPERATIVES HERE AND YOU ONLY CAME HERE TO EXTRACT THREE FUCKING JERKOPS?"
Kevin's eyes widened considerably. As much as he hated to admit it, the commander was right. He hadn't even thought about what would become of the other wounded and dying operatives. Didn't each of them deserve the same chance that Clyde and Jack were giving his squadmates? They had all fought and bled to further the PVCC's cause, and now they were being left behind, abandoned, and possibly even resigned to a pointless death. Frustration and anger burned inside him as he thought of the thousands of Jerkops and civilians that had already died so needlessly. Were he or any of his squadmates somehow more worthy of special treatment than the rest? Just for killing Sonichu's vacuous wife and their three insufferable children?
"I don't know, Commander…" he murmured. The noises around him had merged into a haze of sound. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what anyone's doing anymore."
"Go find your squadmate, then, Shaw," Kacey muttered. "I'm going to have a word with Clyde."
The metallic smell of blood filled Kevin's nostrils as he stumbled over the sea of corpses toward an alcove in the back of the observation room. Injured Jerkops lay crumpled and trembling on the floor, as several of their surviving comrades tried desperately to administer emergency care. Kevin could hardly feel his legs anymore, and a sound like a high-pitched whine was echoing inside his skull. Face after pain-stricken face flashed by, but none of them were his girlfriend's.
"Allie?" he felt himself call out. The words sounded distant and slurred. "Allie Parker? Hello?"
"K…Kevin?" whispered a faint voice from the floor.
Kevin looked down, his mouth half-open in shock. Allie lay there, curled into a fetal position, her skin pale and her leg heavily bandaged. Trogdor the Burninator and her fire axe both lay beside her, while a tiny Fighting-type Sonee was nibbling on a stubful of snow next to her head. Ignoring the baby chu, Kevin dropped to his knees beside the injured Jerkop, carefully eased her upright, and drew Allie into the single biggest, warmest embrace he had ever given her before.
"Found you," he chuckled, and kissed her tenderly. The winter chill evaporated instantly as color surged in Allie's cheeks, and suddenly she was embracing him, squeezing him, her entire body trembling as she sobbed into his shoulder. Neither of the Jerkops needed to say anything to each other – the mere act of their reunion was more than enough for them. For a while, they just sat there, locked together, silently filling the emptiness they had both endured for the past few hours.
"Sowwee!"
Kevin opened his eyes and glanced down at the little Sonee. It stared up at him with ridiculously slanted eyes, looking like a miniature version of Punchy Sonichu with a tiny conical nón lá hat.
"Thanks for ruining the moment, you little bastard," he growled, and shoved the little chu onto its back. It squealed in surprise and began flailing around, shrieking "SOWWEEEE!" again and again. Helping his squadmate to her feet, he began moving her back towards the observation room, while acting as a makeshift crutch for her injured leg. La Llorona had landed on the Plaza, and through the smoke and flashes of gunfire, Kevin could see his squadmates clustered around a stretcher with Al's limp body strapped to it. Kacey Devoria and BILLY MAYS were locked in a heated argument with Cash and Thaddeus, while Joshua Martinez and Los Chupacabras kept up a heavy screen of fire on the remaining True Blue soldiers. The mercenaries had all but broken with the arrival of the aerial reinforcements, and now most of the survivors were in full retreat.
"Kevin," whispered Allie as they limped toward the waiting Chinook. "Have I ever told you that I fucking love you?"
Kevin smiled. "Nothing wrong with saying it more than once."
"Arceus…" Allie smiled and squeezed him. "It's so fucking good to see you alive again."
"Let's not worry about that now," the Jerkop muttered, looking back toward where the Legend was being loaded into the transport helicopter. "We're not out of this yet. Not even close."
South CWCville, Slum District, Slumberland, 11:32 p.m.
"Careful! Careful! Set him down here!" ordered Steve, waving to the PVCC technicians that had gathered on the snowy Slumberland training field. "MEDIC! GET ME A GODDAMN MEDIC!"
"Settle down, Morrison," Clyde remarked in a voice that was far too casual for even him. "It's not even that serious. We'll take care of Ledger, don't you worry about it."
"I'm not so sure that's even going to be possible," replied Jexis as she and the Chupacabras medic pushed Al's stretcher out of La Llorona. Even with the additional blood that she had given him and SUZI's impromptu fire surgery, the Legend was just barely holding on. "The shots went right through his stomach and clipped his liver. We're looking at some serious internal bleeding, not to mention the possibility of his stomach acid leaking into his bloodstream and poisoning…"
"Enough! Fucking hell, Jexis!" snapped Steve. "Come on, we need to get him inside. Go! GO!"
Aided by Serge, Kevin and Allie stumbled into the snowy field and limped toward the familiar entrance to Slumberland's garage. It seemed as if he had last been inside the HQ several ages ago, even though the Honey Badgers had departed for Brunchville Lane a mere eight hours earlier to stake out the Sonichu family's house prior to Hedgeclipper. The other Jerkops trailed after the loaded stretcher, while Jexis and a group of technicians continued to monitor the dying Manajerk. Unbelievably, Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus were the only ones who didn't seem to be all that affected by the Legend's current condition. Kevin couldn't even begin to fathom the reasoning behind the Miscreants' relaxed demeanors, but he had a feeling it couldn't be good.
In the wake of the hasty evacuation from Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza, Kacey Devoria had been left behind with a contingent of almost seventy Jerkops, more than two thirds of whom had fallen to the devastating massacre. Only the prompt arrival of Liquid Chris and five Wilderness squads had managed to quell the PVCC commander's rage. The remaining Jerkops had set up around the Plaza, collecting equipment and weapons from the fallen mercenaries while tending to their wounded and the civilians who had been caught in the firefight. It had been a major step back for the CWCville Revolution, but at the very least, the mercenaries had been driven back.
For Kevin and the other Honey Badgers, though, Al's critical condition had taken center stage.
"This is bullshit. This is fucking bullshit," growled Steve as he and Kuri watched helplessly. The Legend had been placed in the center of the garage, and more PVCC personnel were wheeling in life support machines and medical equipment. "What the hell do they think they can do? All that time we wasted on Schwartz…if we'd just skipped Wilderness entirely, we could've saved Al."
"At least we got him out alive," Kuri added. "They might still be able to fix him…"
"What on earth," a low voice addressed the operatives from the doorway, "is going on here?"
Kevin looked up, and instantly froze in place. The man who stood before them was well known to all of the Jerkops in Slumberland, but rarely had any of the "old guard" even set eyes on him before. To the newer squads comprised of Team Rocket members, he was only their boss. But to the Honey Badgers, he was far more than a simple member of the PVCC administrative council.
"Mr. da Silva." Jack stepped forward, offering a hand to the newcomer. "A pleasure, as always."
"Don't waste my time with manners, Thaddeus," Giovanni spoke in a quiet voice. Behind him, a single Persian padded gracefully into the room. "You promised to retrieve my son from that wretched manchild's grasp. I'm putting my men, my resources, and my very reputation on the line for this. I only hope you still intend to deliver what Chandler took away from me."
"Indeed we do, sir." Clyde stepped in quickly before his fellow Miscreant could reply. "Believe me, we intend to move forward on the Loose Ends campaign as soon as possible. Unfortunately, well, we ran into a complication with Ledger. Tell me you heard what went down at the Plaza."
Giovanni nodded. "I did. Such a waste of good operatives." Leaning down, he gently stroked the ears of his Persian, which purred approvingly. "Mr. Cash, every minute we waste here is another minute my son remains in enemy hands. I have waited nearly half a year for Miss Gee to begin acting like a competent leader, but my waiting is at an end. I will not waste another minute." He glared at the Miscreants. "Patience isn't something I have a surplus of. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal, sir," answered Clyde. "We don't want to waste time either. Is Vejovis charged?"
The Team Rocket boss paused, then turned and nodded to an unseen subordinate in the hallway. Two uniformed Rocket operatives filed into the room, carrying a pair of locked containers. Confused, Kevin, Steve, Allie, and the other Badgers watched as the men placed the cases on a pair of metal tables and stepped back to let their superiors examine them. Even Clyde and Jack looked impressed, and slightly taken aback by whatever lay behind the box's stenciled name, VEJOVIS. The other, smaller one was labeled TESLA-CHU.
"Remind me again how you managed to keep this thing out of Vivian's sight," Jack murmured.
"Walsh must have forgotten to tell her about it," explained Giovanni, and held out a key to Clyde Cash. "I read the documentation a while ago…it sounded like something out of a comic book. Aliens and parallel dimensions and all these damned science experiments…" He shook his head. "But when I saw what that thing could do, I knew it was more than science fiction."
"What…" Steve pushed his way toward the boxes. "Wait, what are those? What are you doing?"
"Desperate times call for deus ex machinas, Morrison," Clyde chuckled as he unlocked the larger of the two cases and gently eased the lid open to reveal a strange machine that resembled a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a flamethrower, complete with a backpack attachment and two Tesla coils. It was definitely a gun, but like no gun that the Honey Badgers had ever seen before. "Gentlemen, ladies, allow me to introduce you to the PVCC's greatest secret. Meet Vejovis."
"One of our specialist teams picked it up just before the June Offensive," Jack added. "Back then, they called it the Salsa ex Sonee, or whatever the hell it was. Walsh managed to keep the discovery from us until only recently after her capture. Only a few of the Miscreants have actually seen this thing, and only I can authorize its use."
"You don't even want to know how we got it," Giovanni said bluntly. "What you do want to know is this. It's some kind of an advanced combat medical device that can automatically transplant and rebuild biological material, working off of any living tissue. Of course, we use Sonee and Rosey tissue for our fuel, but any kind of protein will work, as long as it's still alive."
"Wait." Steve's eye twitched. "Are you telling me…that thing can heal people with chu parts?"
Clyde grinned wickedly. "That, Morrison, is exactly what it does."
"Sowwee! SOWWEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The Jerkops and Miscreants turned toward the door at the shrill cry. The little Fighting-type Sonee was screaming and struggling in the Persian's mouth, its ridiculous hat bobbing up and down on its rabbit-like ears.
"Speak of the devil." Giovanni knelt beside his Pokémon and extracted the wailing baby chu.
"Wait." Allie squinted. "Isn't that…Komen? Hotaru's squad was keeping him as a mascot…"
"Whatever his name is, it doesn't matter." Jack held out his hand as the Team Rocket boss passed him the red Sonee. "Right now, he's justfuel." He nodded to Clyde. "Do it."
"Everyone, stand back," ordered the Miscreant as he hauled Vejovis out of the case and strapped it to his back. The machine instantly hummed to life, its twin Tesla coils glowing with energy as crackling electrical arcs jumped from one to the other. "Jack, do it! Now! FIRING!"
"Sowwee!" whined Komen, then let out a piercing shriek as Jack dropped him. "SOWWEEEE!"
BZZZZZZEEEEEEWWWWW! The room instantly turned a bright shade of red as Vejovis fired, bathing the administrators, Jerkops, and PVCC personnel in crimson light. A thick tendril of energy burst from the machine's barrel and enveloped the screaming little Sonee, surrounding it in a sort of rippling forcefield. Kevin's jaw dropped open as little pieces of Komen's skin flew off of his body, evaporating into drops of glutinous fluid and speeding back into the device's barrel. The tank on Clyde's back began to fill with red liquid, and as the level rose, more and more of the baby chu's flesh was torn away by the merciless machine.
"SOWWWWEEEEEEEE!" it screeched. "SOWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
At last, Cash clicked Vejovis off, and the red energy vanished. There wasn't much left of Komen Sonee except a bloody pile of bones, some tendons, and a heap of adipose tissue, all lying beneath the little nón lá hat. Breathlessly, Kevin could only hold on to Allie even tighter as Clyde slowly turned towards Al's body and raised the gun towards him.
"WHOA! WAIT! HOLD ON A SECOND!" yelled Steve. "What the hell are you doing? You're not going to rip him apart too, are you? How do you know that thing even works?"
Giovanni sighed. "You seriously think we haven't been testing this thing, Morrison? Vejovis could change the course of this entire revolution.Of course we know it works." He nodded to Clyde. "Keep going. Commence the second stage."
"All right then." The Miscreant smiled. "Wakey wakey, Ledger. We've got work to do."
BZZZZZZEEEEEEWWWWW!
Al's body stiffened and immediately began shaking violently as the energy struck him. Rather than sucking material in, it seemed to be sending it back out of the barrel, like some advanced fire hose. Unbelievably, the wounds on his abdomen seemed to be growing smaller, knitting back together just like the healing abilities of Sonichu, Rosechu, and the Chaotic Combo. Clyde continued blasting the Legend with Vejovis's beam until the tank was empty, then shut it off and unfastened the backpack's straps.
Instantly, Steve and Kevin rushed to the stretcher. Color was returning to the Manajerk's cheeks, and apart from a pair of small scars and black scorch marks on his stomach, Al seemed just as fit as he had been prior to departing for the Plaza. Even the shrapnel wounds on his face and the burns on his arms were gone. Miraculously, the Legend had just been restored to full health.
"Arceus," Allie swore, staring as Al slowly shifted and began to move again. "What…"
"Is miracle?" asked Serge in puzzlement.
"No…" Kuri grinned, squeezing her squadmate's beefy arm. "SCIENCE, Big Bear. SCIENCE."
"Hey. Al." Steve gripped his old friend's shoulders, helping him sit up. "Al, you okay, man? We thought you were gonna die, you know that?" He sounded as if he was fighting back tears of joy. "Al? Al, come on, tell me you're okay. Goddamnit, Al, just tell me you're okay!"
"Yeah…" The Legend took a deep breath, reached up, and flipped his welder's mask down over his face. "Yeah, Steve. I'm pretty fucking okay right now." He paused. "Shit. I don't remember anything after I got shot. How did I…"
"No. Don't even say it." Without another word, Steve threw his arms around Al, hugging the Manajerk tightly as Kevin and the other Honey Badgers piled in around them. SUZI jetted in and immediately fastened her armstubs around Al's head, giggling with glee and flashing the Legend with a constant barrage of rainbows and fireworks on her eye-screens. For a moment, the Jerkops were no longer part of the resistance, still on their mission to rescue Naitsirhc. In their moment of reunion, the sole moment of happiness they had shared since Hedgeclipper…they were finally together again. The only things that could have made it better were if Nate and Nick had been there to partake in their joy.
"Wait. Hold on. Hold on…" Al glanced down, and his voice faltered as he stared at the scorch marks on his chest where SUZI had cauterized the bullet wounds. "Holy fuck! What happened?"
"I don't know." Allie glanced at Jexis, who shrugged and looked at SUZI confusedly. "Ask her."
"SUZI," the Legend began, his voice trembling as he addressed the giggling LIESA unit. "How did I get burned?"
"Uh…" SUZI pondered the question for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't know! Heeheehee!"
"How did I get burned, SUZI?" Al asked, louder. His voice was edging toward panic. "How'd I get burned? How'd I get burned?! HOW'D I GET BURNED HOW'D I GET BURNED?!"
"Yeah." Steve chuckled and patted Kevin's shoulder. "Yeah. I think we're gonna be all right."
