I looked up, the house was a two-story, rather large for one person… But it was so pretty, it was a pale blue colour just light enough to not be over-bearing but bright enough to see! He was a strange boy, one second he's teasing me, the next he's being all understanding, the next he's a ninja, all professional like. And he so sensitive as well… Why am I thinking about Chirou like this you might ask? Well, I do think these things, but I was quite honestly trying to keep my mind of three other amazing boys, who each meant the world to me…

I let my thoughts wonder finally, and they reached Naruto and Sasuke, oh how surprising? Haha, I know, it's predictable, I've already fallen for the teenage heartthrob, Sasuke, AND the craziest boy I've ever met! Hehe, but the picture of Naruto and Sasuke in my head clouded all other thoughts, they were so amazingly handsome, each in his own way. Jake was handsome like them… No, I can't think about him, I'm about to tell them what happened that day, and I'll HAVE to think about them. But you know, for now, I think I'll keep my mind on happier thoughts, keeping my thoughts in the PRESENT.

Let's sort out the feelings I have for them,

1) Sasuke, he's soooo handsome! And from what I hear he's really strong as well!

2)Naruto, sweet, clueless, crazy, hyper, PERFECT! He is, he's amazing, he looks like an orange, but I love that about him! He's not afraid of being him, he's all misunderstood, but he doesn't let it get to him! Yeah, he's DEFINITELY PERFECT!

3)Chirou, sweet guy, but the friend sort… And I'm quite sure he'd ever like a 13 year old, so we both win there!

4) Jake, first love, sweet, loud, my rival! But he never knew I cared, but we all have regrets… So he'll be my first regret, and hopefully my last…

That was sufficiently depressing, so I guess that's it. Oh shit, I forgot that we were about to go into his, no wait, OUR house! Moving!

Chirou opened the door dramatically, going into a low and sweeping bow.

"After you m'lady." I giggled and walked through the entrance into a small hall that opened into a kitchen on the left and a living area one the right and stairs right across the hall. Small but cozy!

"Oh! It looks like awesome Chirou! This is so cool! OMG do you have a TV?" I shouted in his ear.

Chirou put his hands over his ears and playfully scowled at me, "I'm right here you know, you don't HAVE TO SHOUT IN MY EAR!"

"Ouch, that hurt Chirou." I pouted, using puppy eyes.

Chirou sighed as he apologized.

"OK I'm sorry." He stuck his tongue out at me before continuing, "Your room is the first room on the right, mine is right across the hall from yours and the bathroom is at the end of the corridor. I'm going to go get the Hokage and Kakashi, so get ready to talk!"

I smiled, it was fake, but he didn't notice. I wasn't ready to talk about this, but it was either now or never, I'd never have the guts to do it again. So, I'd just plunge in and hope it doesn't hurt too bad. I took a deep breath, reassuring myself. Why was I scared anyways? They were just words, just letters strung together with punctuation at the end and in the middle. What I should be afraid of is anything happening to Alexis or Nick. My best friends, my vulnerable little sister, I was her guardian angel and the protective older brother who couldn't grasp the fact that I was the same age as him and could take care of myself. They were amazing, caring, and sweet, always by my side, ever since the beginning.

I don't think they told them the beginning, so I guess I'd get stuck telling the whole thing. Starting with running away, and ending with right here, right now. Alexis and Nick must have told them we were orphans who lived by ourselves, you can hardly miss that out, but there were so many blank spots to fill, and one of me, one of me who's got one heart that just happens to be breaking at the thought of retelling it all.

My thoughts ran around for a while as I sat in the room that was now mine, I couldn't figure anything out. It seemed like every time I thought I'd figured something out, something else came up and ruled the last one out. I couldn't take it, but there wasn't much to do here, so I had to keep thinking.

I felt like I was drowning, I couldn't go anywhere else in my mind, I was surrounded by the nightmare that haunts my past and it was pulling me in deeper and deeper. I wanted to scream, even though I knew that couldn't help, but I wanted it all to stop, the memories, the thoughts, the ideas, the pain, the regret, everything, and for the first time in so long I felt myself breaking down. I couldn't run from it any more, it was finally taking it's toll, at completely the wrong time, but it had to happen one day.

I sobbed, lightly at first, then harder, letting my pride fall with the tears that were now falling torrents. I slammed my fist into the bed again, and again, and again, until I was numb from trying to hit it.

I felt someone hold me to their chest, and whisper calming words, but I couldn't hear them, or feel them. I was alone, I had been for so long, but now it hit me that it was completely true, I couldn't open up, I had spent so much energy trying to be strong that I lost all the strength to be strong. A weak girl with no one else, the one who no one ever thinks would break down, but the one who ends up broken.

Slowly I pulled myself back from reality and looked at the person who had me in their arms. I didn't know him yet, his face was aged and he looked strong, but nevertheless I saw kindness on his face, he was comforting. I buried my face in the man's chest and let the sobs subside until they had died out completely.

"Thank you," I whispered into his chest.

He only smiled at me. Gently he stood up and helped me up. I was slightly embarrassed as I saw Kakashi and Chirou standing behind him, the looked worried, but they had seen me cry. My best friends hadn't seen me cry for years, but here they were, almost strangers really, and they had watched me cry all of my pride, my defenses, my hurt, everything that I had held inside for so long.

I felt like crying again, but I knew I couldn't. They were here for a reason, and they had to hear the story now while I felt like talking, like crying, like breaking down.

"Chirou, where are we going to do this?" I asked him, blinking away more tears.

"In the living room," He said, when we all went towards the door he held me back, "Are you sure you're OK? What happened? You know, if you don't want to do this it's fine."

"I'm fine, really, and everyone needs to let off some steam, every once in a while. And today I just cried a little. You don't have to worry about me, I'm serious." I reassured hi, ushering Chirou through the door and down towards the living area.

When we got in, the man and Kakashi were sitting patiently on the couch, talking quietly to each other. Their conversation stopped the second they noticed us. Kakashi motioned for Chirou to talk to him quickly, and I sat down keeping my head down but my ears sharp.

"Just… Leave… No… We can't…" That was pretty much all of what I could hear, I was confused though either way, why would they be talking about leaving? What can't they do? What was he refusing to? For god's sake people, can't you just come right out and tell me?!

"Are you ready to start, Lynx?" The man asked me, he sounded almost like a father to me, he sounded like he actually cared.

"Yes," I replied finally, I took a deep breath and began. "I'll start from the beginning, my name is Lynx Sapient Swindlehurst, I was born to Torina and Channer Swindlehurst. I'm an orphan, as you should already know, because my father died sometime before I was born and my mother died in childbirth. I was sent to an orphanage, I can't even remember the name any more it's been so long. There I met Nick, Em, and Jake. The four of us became friends right off the bat, and soon became inseparable.

"Alexis and Terry didn't go to the same orphanage as us, but by the time they were seven they'd had enough of their old one and ran away hoping to stay free. Soon though; they were found and sent to ours. At first we ignored them, but let them in when they started to open up. At age eight the six of us were known almost as one person, well, actually that isn't quite true. Alexis fit right in with us, but Terry has always been a little distant with the rest of us, so really it was just us five.

"On my ninth birthday we were tired of being stuck in this stupid orphanage, and promised each other we'd leave; and we did. Once Em, the youngest of us, turned nine we left. We packed the necessaries and got up and walked away. It took is exactly one week, and three days to make it to a new place. It was a pretty town, rather secluded and was situated in the country area. The people there didn't know us, so they thought we were just brothers and sisters who's parents didn't like to come out much. We liked it like that, and we've lived there ever since.

"I've told you a little about us, but the only real important thing that needs to come out will be a little more difficult to explain. It was my 13th birthday, we were celebrating. We decided to go out for once. In the end Em and Alexis thought up the idea of going out into the forest, it was pretty damn amazing. It was night, but we weren't afraid, the forest was like our second home, we ate there, slept there sometimes, did homework there, and celebrated most holidays and birthdays there.

"The night we went out was especially dark, Em, Alexis, and I loved the dark, but the guys didn't like the feel of it. They were suspicious, but we never trusted them, they were always wrong anyways. We walked out into the clearing that we call the Clubhouse and started the fire as usual. We all sat around chatting, playing games, it was the night that Terry and Alexis got together as well. Even though they were young, the two of them had been together through so much that it had to happen that they admitted their feelings towards the other.

"We started up truth or dare, it was always fun, the best game out there in our opinion. First up was Em, Jake dared her to run into the forest and scream 'I'm an idiot!' Five times, no this wasn't our best, but we liked to start off small. Em ran out into the darkness and started screaming, the first two times we laughed, but on the third she didn't scream 'I'm an idiot!' She screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs. Jake was the first to run in, Nick and I close behind him. When we got there we saw a man, he had to be in his early 20s to late teens, but he was still a whole lot stronger than Em.

"Em was pinned up against the tree as the man touched her and attempted to strip her. Jake and Nick ran up behind him and started wildly kicking at him. Jake kicked him in the crotch and Nick punched in his stomach in. I helped Em down, and tried to get her to safety. She was shaking madly. Nick and Jake thought they had done there job, and walked off, pleased, but the man wasn't finished. He ran at Jake with full force, and as he ran he pulled out a knife, a small one, but it was sharp nonetheless. It stabbed him in his stomach and blood and guts spilled over the floor. Em and I ran to help him, Nick attacking the man. But he knocked Nick out quickly. I stood in front of Em and Jake, hoping that maybe I could defend them. But it was futile, he wanted to finish his work with Em.

"I was knocked out and woke up to a sobbing Nick, Terry, and Alexis all kneeled by the bodies of Jake and Em, all looking broken. I stared at them a while then noticed a thin line of dried blood that came down Em's leg, and her ripped skirt and shirt. He had not only taken her life but her virginity as well. Jake must have died slowly because his stomach wound still had wet blood on it and his guts were piling a little bit. The rest was a blur, we took them to the police, they didn't ask us any questions about parents or anything. They knew that we were runaways, but took pity on us.

"The man who had raped and murdered my best friend and killed another was found. He has life in prison, I hope he's still rotting in there. Maybe he's dead. I don't know much else about it. But that's all it is. The death of our best friends. Sorry Nick and Alexis didn't tell you, they would never be able to, they can't even bare to think about it, and they both despised the orphanage to the point of erasing it form their memory altogether so I might be the only one of us who has is stupid enough to want, or try, to remember this." I choked out the last part, tears threatening to fall again.

I looked at the three men, Chirou had tears in his eyes and looked like he wanted to hug me right then and there. Kakashi had his head bowed, and the man looked at me with sad eyes. Chirou stood up and pulled me up with him. I stood next to him, behind my back he clasped my hand squeezing it comfortingly. It wasn't much of anything that would affect them, but if these men were supposed to know about us, they might as well know the most important part of our past.

I bit my lip slightly at the thought of Jake's laughing face and Em's scowling one as she ran up into the darkness. It bought happy tears to my eyes, and I felt my lip twitch slightly. But the image of the man using his knees to separate Em's legs and the scream that her and Jake had uttered when they had been struck. It would stay in my mind forever, I was sure of that. The whole ordeal wasn't right, neither of them deserved it, Em was only 12 as well. And Jake, I never had a chance to tell him I liked him. I never told anyone. I sighed quietly.

"Thank you Lynx, but we shall leave now, we don't want to overstay our welcome." The man said to us (Chirou and me) softly.

I forced a smile as they left the house.

"I'm sorry Chirou, I'm so sorry I broke down." I said to Chirou, hugging him again.

"Are you sure you're OK Lynx? And it doesn't matter, but what does matter is why, why did you? I'm sorry to have to put you through this. I really am, Lynx look at me." I looked him right in the eye, he didn't look startled but merely returned my gaze. "Everyone has to cry whether you're strong or not."

I looked into his eyes, he was such a good friend, and I barely knew him.

"Thanks Chirou."