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Pulling Puzzles Apart

Chapter Sixteen :)

As good as it feels his lips all over mine it's not really the reassurance I need. He said he used Vinnie for sex, so what makes me so different? I can't help but wonder what he looks like this Vinnie, what if my fate ends up being the same as his. It's clear that Brendan has problems, what if together we make each other even more unhinged. It's just this feeling he gives me though, a feeling that comes from the bottom of my gut and warms my whole body. He makes me feel like nothing else in the world matters but him and somehow I don't think I'm going to throw that away regardless of what happened with Vinnie. It's a risk getting more involved with Brendan, but it's a risk I think I have to take. Who knows we might just end up saving each other. I break away from him because this isn't what I need right now.

"Hey ye okay?" He asks me. I smile at him, but I can tell he thinks that he's done something wrong.

"Yeah I'm fine; I just think we should get you cleaned up."

I show him his blood stained fist, but I can tell by his face that he doubts me.

"Is that really all this is Steven, a bit of blood?"

Maybe he knows me too well already.

"Yeah of course."

"So why are ye lying to me then? Look is this about Vinnie?"

I think he's studied me too well.

"I guess it is a little. I can't help but worry about it. What happens when you've had enough of me? You know I'm damaged."

"I'll never have enough of ye." He interrupts. Plus ye not damaged, ye just someone who has been through a lot."

"You know that already do ya? I don't even know what to make of all of this…of us. None of it even makes any sense."

"Does that make it wrong does it?"

"You were my therapist Brendan and now I'm in some kind of relationship with you and I'm staying in your spare room. Don't you think it's a bit much?"

"No Steven I don't. There is just something about ye. Ye must feel it too?"

Of course I feel it; I feel it every time I'm with him. I know exactly what he is talking about because I feel the same way for him. But I am one of life's worriers and I can't help but worry about how unhealthy this relationship is.

"The thing is Brendan I need to know more about you. I need to be sure that I'm not just another charity case. I need to know I'm not just here to ease your guilt."

"Ease my guilt for what?"

"For what happened with Vinnie. Maybe if you manage to help me sort my life out, then you'll forgive yourself for him. I bet I even look like him don't I?"

I'm hoping that he says no, I'm hoping that Vinnie and I are complete opposites, but he is looking at me like I have just figured him all out and I know what the answer is before he even starts talking.

"Ye have similarities Steven I'm not going to lie, but that's all."

I knew it, I try to hide my disappointment, but it's really hard.

"Similarities, what similarities?"

"Ye really wanna know Steven?"

"Yeah I really do."

"I can't believe I'm doing this. I guess ye build; Vinnie was about your size and height, but his hair was darker than yours and his eyes were brown. I don't think I've ever seen anyone with eyes as blue as yours."

"What else?"

"Age, he was younger as well."

"Seems like we have quite a lot in common then?"

"Ye are different inside. He never stood up for what he believed in, but ye on the other hand, ye have passion. Being a Dad does that to a person."

"So you're not just in this with me because I look like him."

"No I'm not and ye don't even look like him anyway. Steven I know how this must seem and I hate knowing that you doubt everything that I say, but I promise I wouldn't lie to ye."

"How do I know that you're telling me the truth?"

"Ye don't, I guess ye just have to trust me. Can ye do that, can ye trust me?"

I want to more than anything; I want to be able to sort my life out and to come out on top with him by my side, but it's just not that simple. I have so many doubts, now more than ever. I'm a mess and so is he, but this thing with Vinnie and the similarities between us makes me think that he is just trying to redeem himself. I can't be just the righting of a wrong for him, not when I feel this way about him.

"I guess I'm gonna have to try aren't I?"

"Good I'm glad to hear. Now where were we?"

And before I could say anything else he's taking off my clothes and exploring my body with his hands. His mouth soon finds my cock and his warm lips wrap around it like they are always supposed to be there. I close my eyes and hold on to his head, pulling his hair slightly. Brendan works his magic with his tongue, teasing the head of my cock, licking, kissing and biting it before engulfing me completely. As he bob's greedily up and down I couldn't help but thrust my hips forward, giving him more of a mouthful than he already has. I glance down and the sight of him just blows me away. His eyes are closed and his mouth is full of me, yet the enjoyment on his face is evident. The way he sucks on me and the moans of appreciation tells me just how much he is enjoying pleasing me. He opens his eyes to see me watching him, but this just makes him even more rampant. I grab hold of his hair tighter as he sucks on me harder and faster, his beautiful blue eyes staring into my own. I couldn't contain myself any longer and I let go into his mouth and watch intently as he gulps down every last bit of my warm cum. I want to touch him back, but after a gentle kiss on the lips he moves away from me. I can see how hard he is, the massive bulge in his trousers isn't about to go away any time soon, not without my help anyway.

"Where you going?" I ask him.

"Like ye said Steven, I'd better wash this blood off my hands."

"I think you should just come back to bed and let me do something about that bulge in your trousers."

"I'd love nothing more, but I wanna clean this shit up first. Plus I'm still not convinced that ye want to be here with me. I can see the doubt in ye eyes. I want ye to be sure and I want this to be what ye want. Maybe we just need to talk some more."

"You like to be in control don't ya?"

"What makes ye ask that?"

"It's just that everything is on your terms…even sex. I tell you to clean up, but you suck me off instead. Now I want a fuck, you go and clean up. It's like everything is a big game to you."

"It's not that at all Steven, although I do like to be in control. I just want ye to be certain that this is what ye want. I am hard work at times and there are more skeletons in my closet, but together I think we can help each other. I want to at least try don't ye?"

"Yeah I think I do."

"Good, now I'm gonna get cleaned up. I suggest ye do the same. We have things to do today."

"Things to do, what things?"

"Well ye need a new therapist for one and I think it's about time ye got yourself a job. Won't be long."

He makes it sound so simple, he makes everything sound simple. See that's the beauty of him, I really think I can do anything when I'm with him. Maybe something good will come out of all this after all. He's the only person who has ever got through to me and as strange as it is, I find myself listening to him. It's funny how I feel like I can't breathe when I'm around him, but then I feel exactly the same when I'm not with him. How can you feel so much for one person, with so many different emotions? At least Brendan believes in me, which is more than anyone else has done. Who knows if I play my cards right I might even get a job out of today.

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