Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters are borrowed from the CBS network show NCIS for personal entertainment purposes only. No profit is or shall be made from this fan tribute to the show which is owned by TPTB. Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.

Identifyer: vglb0012/ch03 - a new chapter of "I Hear the Bells Toll" by VG LittleBear

Spoiler warning: 5×18 "Judgment Day I", minor spoilers for seasons 3 to 5.

Endless Love

Not adding to the loved man's burden had become her new goal.

Mike Franks had driven with Jenny into the Mojave desert, and they had found clues to William Decker's mysterious insurance in his diner. Now Jenny was waiting for the next development of her emergency plan conceived after Decker's funeral in L.A. Upon discovering the threat to her old Parisian team, Jenny had immediately called in Mike to shield Jethro from the fall-out. For herself, she wasn't so sure what she wanted.

Ever since her illness had forced on her higher doses of pills to keep the symptoms from affecting her ability to function, she had been questioning what she wanted out of the time left to her. Sitting on the back of the diner's bench, Jenny contemplated the view before her: dusty, windswept desert. She wondered if her life looked like that from the outside? Wildflowers seldom bloomed in the desert, and she had sacrificed a lot to her career. Only Jethro had had a chance at distracting her from her path, that's why she had run from him the first time, and why she'd kept her distance, shunting away the reminders of a closer relationship.

From what Mike Franks had said, she should have called Jethro in his Mexican exile. And she would have called him, if she hadn't gotten Tony DiNozzo increasingly involved in her vendetta right then. Contrary to her assumptions, Jethro's 'Margarita Safari' with Mike had consisted more of dug up memories than excessive drinking. Then Ziva got in trouble, and Gibbs rode to the rescue. Serbia had still been in the black hole of Gibbs' shattered memory when he first came back. Jenny had been sad he'd forgotten one of her favorite time they had passed together. And yet, by the time Gibbs had saved Ziva, the jog to his memory had resurrected the week for him as Jethro let her know with the photo from Serbia. Jenny smiled ruefully, the photo of her younger self brought back to mind those days even now. She had a few pictures too, some she had blushed to hand over for developing on film. Had she let Gibbs struggle with his memory more than necessary? Jenny had always intended to ascertain there was no single of their moments missing. Even if they hadn't been lovers for years, they were still close, and would be closer again some day. As Mike said, she was still young. And she'd thought they had time - until she learned differently.

In her situation, dying to protect her hero seemed tempting, or at least the lesser evil.

As Special Agent she'd been prepared to die every day, and back in the day when she'd been undercover with Jethro in Europe, the danger had permeated everything they did. Recklessly heading into danger, she'd never felt more alive. - DiNozzo would tell her that she'd been the typical Bond girl, and maybe she'd been that to Jethro. - Not that she'd gotten Gibbs to go to the movies, but they had sometimes watched TV. Fortunately the spoken bits never mattered much, as between cuddling and the local station's language they didn't always catch them. And Gibbs still enjoyed when her Field Agent side peeked out from behind the Director persona.

The future regretfully mapped out for her by Ducky was not to Jenny's liking. More than the illness, she dreaded what her protracted dying might do to Jethro. It looked too close to what Anne Gibbs went through when Jethro was but a teen. Another thing she had learned from his personnel file once she went looking, back when he'd almost died in the explosion. She wondered if he knew that Anne Gibbs had abbreviated her own suffering? Ever since Gibbs learned about her dead father, she'd been yearning to talk to her old partner. About his mother, but more yet his living father. She would have loved meeting Jackson Gibbs some day, and find out if those piercing blue eyes were an hereditary trait. Getting sick had never been part of the plan.

Unlike Mike, Jethro had refrained from searching her handbag, but it was just a question of time until he found out. That was one of the reasons Jenny had taken an extended leave of absense: to remove herself from Jethro's everyday scrutiny. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Well, she hoped her health had been. Knowing Jethro, she knew he still wanted the truth about her personal Moby Dick hunt after the FBI investigation seconded by her own Assistant Director had petered out. That was not a conversation she looked forward to, but she'd tell him about it much easier than about being sick to death. Literally.

Jenny was due back to the office on Monday, though ousting Leon Vance from her office would only be temporary. All too soon she'd be on medical, and Jenny planned on meeting with SecNav to recommend Vance as the next head of the agency. If she survived today, she'd give her best shot at fostering understanding between Gibbs and her presumptive successor. Jethro took too much delight in being the second B in his name, and Leon would posture, not understanding the dynamics of Gibbs' team.

Mike had asked why she hadn't told Gibbs, and she had told him about her feelings for Jethro. She hadn't meant to spill that, but Mike was so easy to talk to. She had barely acknowledged to herself that she didn't tell Jethro about the sickness killing her out of love. He wouldn't keep away once he knew, he'd stick it out by her side, even if his heart broke in the process. So she kept putting it off, the telling, and maybe she'd get out of it now altogether. Before leaving home last evening, she'd thrown 'Dear Jethro' on her favorite letter paper, then stopped as she knew Jethro needed to be told in person. Another letter was not going to work. Yet she had left the paper sitting on her desk. Did she hope to come back? Jenny didn't know.

Jethro had wanted to come with her to Decker's funeral, but she had been nervous ever since she'd heard William was dead. He hadn't been old, nor sick. The three of them had been a team in Paris. They had gotten out clean, but there was that secret she and Decker had shared. What Gibbs didn't know may well yet hurt him, so Jenny had taken precautions.

When the posthumous warning from Decker reached her, Jenny called in Jethro's old mentor and sidekick, and distanced herself from the protection detail Jethro had insisted she take. Telling Mike about Oshimaida was insurance. She couldn't risk letting Gibbs walk into a trap even if she sprung this one. She couldn't involve Ziva and Tony - not for this old screw-up of hers. Clean up your own mess was one of Gibbs' rules. She knew his rules almost better than her own, even if she was shaky on the numbers, though rule forty five sounded about right. Mike Franks she could talk to, the old reprobate would make sure Jethro understood if she wasn't around later. The guy who had been asking for 'Mister Oshimaida' at the funeral wasn't anyone she knew, but his Russian origin gave her a clue. The source of the danger had to be the woman she wasn't hard enough to kill in Paris. Though how Svetlana Chernitskaya had found a trace to Decker was anyone's guess.

Mike had found out about her illness in record time. Then he'd asked why Gibbs didn't know. Didn't know what? That she was hopelessly in love with him? That she had kept richer and more powerful men at arm's length because she was dreaming about Jethro? That she had regrets and no time left? It was frustrating that at the end of the line she was getting sappy! That it was indeed the end of the line had become clear with Ziva's last call. Of course she could have given in to Mike's suggestion to head out. The diner was a death trap if her enemies had more firepower than she expected. On the other hand she hoped they had enough to take care of her. She wasn't going to just keel over. She fully intended to make sure none were left to go after Jethro. And she needed Mike to survive.

When her walk through the kitchen didn't produce any coffee, not even instant, she had turned the cupboards out, finding tea bags. Too bad the water was turned off. She could have used a cup! Then Mike had spoken about the water tower, and wanting to step out.

She had clambered up again on her seat after Mike Franks left through the back door, leaving a box of teabags on the table in front of her. Jenny laughed at the thought of Gibbs waking up in Mike's shack and finding no coffee in the kitchen. Just lemon grass tea. For a moment the thought left her smiling. Then she sobered. She took a moment to turn her phone back on, and debated calling Jethro. She longed for his voice. But then she slipped the phone into her jeans pocket and resumed gazing at the desert landscape.

Jenny was content Mike was still out of the way when she heard a car arrive. It looked like she was on her own.

The shots still reverberated in the air, and Jenny found herself lying on her side. Thoughts of rejoining her father took the fear of passing from her. Her last glance showed Mike barging in. Secure in the knowledge that he'd watch over Gibbs, she exhaled. Adrift like a flower on the wind.

- finis -

A/N: My heartfelt thanks for your patience, I never expected to take so long to post the final chapter, especially since the writing was done and uploaded. But I kept editing, moving paragraphs, adding and deleting. Well, you know! - I love hearing from you, and treasure your thoughts!