She wasn't sure how long she had been awake for, laying with her head resting on Kaidan's bare chest. The sound of his heartbeat under her ear was comforting in a way that she had never expected. Somehow they had made it back to her room, all she remembered of that journey was a lot of flirting, touching, teasing and kisses around corners. The rest was something of a blur. The memories of what happened after they reached her room, their bodies pressed together, the feel of his smooth skin under her fingertips. The feel of him filling her as they blended together, all lingered fresh in her mind. The images and sensations as clear as the highest quality holovids. Just thinking about being with him increased her heart rate and made her stomach flutter.

What the heck was wrong with her?

There hadn't ever been any reservations about slipping out the following morning, never to be seen or heard from again. Not that she picked up random strangers often, but it had happened in the past during times when she had been the most vulnerable. She didn't even remember their names and most of the time she was too drunk to remember what they did, but she remembered his.

Kaidan.

She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, even the scent of his aftershave mixed with sweat and what she could only assume was his own natural body odor was intoxicating. Kimberly was stalling and she knew it, the longer she stalled the more chance there was of him waking. Carefully she extracted herself from his arms and slid off the bed. Holding her breath she watched as he stirred for a moment before he rolled over on to his side, the slow, even rise and fall of his chest was a good indication that he had drifted back to sleep.

Less than five minutes later she was standing in the room dressed in her BDU's with a sack containing the only possessions she ever carried with her, slung over her shoulder. As she pushed the door panel and watched it slide open, her eyes turned back to the form on the bed. She couldn't. She couldn't just leave without a word.

Kimberly stepped back into the room, hoping that he would remain asleep for just a couple more minutes. Her eyes quickly scanned the area looking for something, anything, that she could leave a note behind on. That was when she remembered most temporary quarters included a datapad for visitors to access the extranet. Silently she slipped over to the bedside table and opened up the draw. Sitting inside, as she suspected was a datapad that she carefully lifted out.

A night to remember, always.
Maybe the universe will decide.

Kim x

She paused just for a moment before placing the datapad on the top of the bedside table's surface and then silently slipped out of the room.

The corridor outside of the quarters was already a hub of activity with alliance officers scurrying about, each heading to one venue or another, most carrying datapads or talking over comm lines to unheard people on the other end. She knew her make-up was most likely smudged and her hair, was a mess. There would be time on-board the Normandy to shower and fix her hair before reporting to the Captain. They still had another day before departing the station but, she wanted to meet some of the crew members and get comfortable on board first. It always took her a little while to settle into a new posting, especially when she was naturally wary of new people. Kimberly also had this niggling feeling that she hadn't just been assigned to the Normandy for a shakedown cruise. That she would in fact be remaining on board afterwards for whatever missions the new vessel was destined to be attending to.

She was after all, considered to be one of the best. You don't assign the best for a simple trip around the block. Something else was going on and it damn well better not include more media coverage.

Even dressed in her BDU's the blonde hair and her head down was enough to allow her to reach the Normandy's airlock without being recognised. That was something she could enjoy getting used to, it was just a shame she knew it wouldn't last. It was only a matter of time before the blonde hair was just as easily recognisable as her natural black hair had been, the media would make sure of that. As the Normandy's airlock seemed to take its time running through the decontamination process, she tapped her foot impatiently. When the inner doors finally opened she quickly scurried through the CiC, ignoring the hub of activity surrounding her, she went straight for the stairs to the crew deck. It wasn't until the doors closed that she realised she wasn't alone walking the staircase to the lower level.

"Captain?" she asked with a smirk as it appeared she hadn't even been recognised by him.

"Shepard?" he said back at her with a look of surprise before quickly shaking his head. "What… you know what, never mind. I don't think I want to know."

"That is probably for the best, Sir," she agreed. When first learning about the posting on the Normandy she had reservations about being assigned to a Captain who knew her as well as Anderson did. In the end, after a lot of convincing on his part, she had finally agreed to take it.

"Just tell me there won't be any calls from the station in regards to your conduct over the past couple of days," he stated with a stern, knowing look on his face.

Kimberly grinned as she shook her head, "Not this time, Sir."

"Good. Once you are ready, I need you to come and see me in the debriefing room," he commanded.

"Yes Sir," she responded just as they reached the bottom of the stairs that opened up onto the crew deck. She slipped passed him quietly before he could start asking her any questions related to the visit on Arcturus station. As much as she loved Anderson like family, actually working with him was going to be the death of her she was certain of it.

It didn't take long for her to locate the lockers and place the sack inside. She pulled out a clean towel and clean underwear before making her way straight towards the showers. Once under the soothing stream of warm water, she took her time. Setting the pressure just right, she let the water flow over her neck and shoulders, easing the tension from her muscles. It wasn't easy but she forced herself to push all thoughts of Kaidan and the night before to the back of her mind, so that she could focus on the day ahead. It was time for Kimberly to take a step back and Commander Shepard to take a step or ten, forward.

As he first began to wake, Kaidan stretched with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Slowly the fog of sleep began to lift, as it did he reached an arm across the bed, only to find the space beside him empty. With a start he sat upright and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. As he glanced around the room he could see that it too was empty and the bag that had resting on the far wall was gone. Reality crashed down around him, of course he should have expected her to be gone by the time he woke but that didn't stop him from hoping it wouldn't happen.

His eyes fell on the datapad that he was fairly sure hadn't been on the bedside table the night before, not that he had been paying much attention to anything other than her. He picked it up and pressed a thumb to the screen, as it flicked to life he could see her words clearly in front of him. He read and re-read the last line so many times that he lost count, maybe the universe will decide. What did that mean exactly? That she would reconsider if the universe put them together again? The implications of that when he knew he would see her again on the Normandy was something he thought he should quickly squash.

It probably didn't really mean anything, not when she had written it expecting to never see him again.

He took in a deep breath as he shifted his body off the bed to retrieve his clothes from the floor. As he dressed, the scent of her perfume reached his nose. It still lingered on his clothing and skin, in a way she still lingered there. He closed his eyes against the influx of thoughts that followed that scent, he remembered the feel of her silky smooth, bare skin against his. The sounds of her whimpers as his fingers teased her.

No. He had to put all of that behind him before he boarded the ship. Especially if he had a chance in hell of making it through the next couple of days, let alone the next couple of weeks. Of course that was provided she doesn't kick him off the ship the moment she caught sight of him. Kaidan had no idea what he had been thinking, he never should have allowed it to go as far as it did.

Fully dressed he sat back down on the side of the bed and ran both hands through his hair. He really was screwed. Of all the people in the galaxy he could have chosen for his one and only one night stand, he had to go and sleep with Commander Shepard. Right before he was due to depart on a fucking mission with her.

He accessed his omni-tool and a moment later a familiar voice came over the line.

"Joker here," the pilot said clearly.

"Hey man, can you meet me at the bar on the station?" Kaidan asked.

"At this time of the morning? You want to go to a bar at this time of the morning?" Joker asked back at him with mixture of disbelief and humour in his voice.

"I didn't say anything about drinking at the bar," Kaidan responded. "I need to talk and it seems as good a place as any, it should be pretty deserted at this time of day."

"Yeah, alright." After a moment's pause Joker continued, "although the Commander just arrived so we shouldn't be long. I hear she wants to meet most of the crew before we depart tomorrow," Joker's voice said over the line.

Kaidan cringed as his stomach lurched. He hated how that bothered him as much as it did. "Yeah, I am kind of stalling on that. I'll explain when you get here, Alenko out."

He shut the omni-tool down again and went straight for the door. He wasn't sure if telling Joker was his best plan ever but, he needed to talk to someone. He had worked with the pilot many times in the past and they had at least become friends, even if they did intentionally get on each others nerves at times.

Just as he suspected it would be, the bar was virtually deserted. The music was down low because the dance floor was vacant, at least that should make talking much easier. A few patrons sat at tables vastly spread out and even less of those actually held any form of alcohol in their hands. It was to be expected from an alliance station, regs about drinking on duty were very strict.

Kaidan chose a table that was as far away from any of the other people as possible and sat down to wait for Joker. He had no idea what he was actually going to say to the other man, in a way he was looking for confirmation that he wasn't going to be completely screwed when he finally did board the ship. He doubted Joker could really give him that but maybe he could offer a small amount of reassurance.

He didn't have to wait long before he saw Joker come in, hobbling along smoother than normal with his leg braces on. Kaidan raised his hand to wave him over to the table, although it probably wasn't necessary with such a small gathering of people. Joker gave him a nod of confirmation before he made his way to the table and sat down.

"So, what's the big emergency that you needed to drag me into a bar at breakfast time for?" Joker asked as he studied Kaidan closely.

"I met a girl last night," Kaidan started. For some reason he was finding it very difficult to tell the entire story in one hit.

"A girl? You called me in here because you met a girl?" Joker asked with a frown and a hint of feigned frustration.

"I umm, may have slept with her," Kaidan admitted.

"So, what does that mean? You actually indulged in a one night stand?" Joker asked genuinely surprised. However, he still didn't look convinced that it was enough to drag him off the ship for.

"That's what she wants to believe but, it was more than that. I know it was," Kaidan replied.

"So now you want me to help you track her down for you or something like that? You're the one with the tech knowledge, can't you just bust into a database?" Joker asked.

"No. That won't be necessary. I know exactly where she is," Kaidan responded cryptically.

"Well at least give me something. Why did you call me down here?" Joker asked. "Unless… tell me she isn't a crew member?"

"Oh not just any crew member," Kaidan said as he placed his elbows on the table and covered his face with his hands. "It was Commander Shepard."

"What? Who?" Joker scoffed. "You didn't just say what I think you just said."

"I did, and it gets worse," Kaidan said miserably.

"How could it possibly get any worse? Should I just start preparing your funeral now?" One thing was certain, Kaidan had his full attention. Joker sat forward in his chair, his eyes piercing right through Kaidan's hands.

"She doesn't know," Kaidan responded. Finally he dropped his hands back down to the table to look at his friend. "To her, I was just a random pick up. She was flying under the radar, I don't think she expected anyone to recognise her."

"That would explain why her hair was blonde instead of black, it was always black in the vids," Joker said.

"I recognised her voice straight away and I never said anything," Kaidan admitted.

"So, don't tell her. Let her believe it is as much of a surprise for you as it is for her," Joker said with a shrug of his shoulders. "What makes you think it was something more? Sounds like a typical one night stand to me."

"I don't know, there was just a connection. It's hard to explain." Kaidan sighed as he sat back in his chair. He couldn't explain it because he still didn't understand it himself.

"Then you better unconnect, fast." Joker's voice was about as serious as it ever got as he looked squarely at Kaidan. "If you knew it was her all along and still did this, what were you thinking?"

"I don't know!" Kaidan said exasperated. "She was there, she ordered the same drink I did. There was some strange biotic thing, we got talking, one moment led to another and then another. The problem is, I really like her."

"Normally I'd be all for you finding some girl that you liked, but this isn't just any girl. You're talking about Commander fucking Shepard, our xo. You've got to let this go," Joker said sternly.

"You aren't telling me anything I don't already know," Kaidan responded grimly.

"Chances are she is going to kill you if she finds out you actually knew," Joker said seriously.

"You don't really think she would go that far do you?" Kaidan asked. For that matter, he didn't think she would but he did believe there would be a lot of anger, yelling and possibly a reassignment at the worst possible time. He may have ruined his entire career because he let his hormones get the better of him and the worst part about it was the fact that he still thought it had been worth the risk. He would do it all over again and he still wanted to try and convince her to change her mind.

"No. Not really but I do think you are risking a transfer and you know as well as I do the Normandy is a chance in a lifetime assignment, if it wasn't why would they have recruited Commander Shepard for the team in the first place?" Joker asked.

"You're thinking that this is more than just a shakedown cruise too aren't you?" Kaidan asked as he looked over at Joker. The thought had crossed his mind more than once. What if it wasn't just a two week cruise but the lead up to a more permanent assignment? He swallowed as his nerves got the better of him.

"Isn't everyone? Just look at the crew that has been assembled," Joker added as he shifted in his chair. "Some of the alliance's best and brightest. Don't ask me why they recruited you though," he teased.

"Really? I was just wondering why they recruited you," Kaidan teased back. Although he would never admit it to Joker, he knew why the man had been recruited. He was one of the best pilots in the alliance, the problem was he also had no issues in making sure everyone knew that. He didn't need any encouraging.

"Best damn pilot in the alliance fleet, that's why," Joker injected.

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before. Top of your class in flight school and all of the extra ribbons that go with it. Have you thought about letting your hair grow out so you have a place to put them all?" Kaidan smirked.

"Next time you have a crisis, you can call someone else to come and be your sounding board. Speaking of boards, or boarding in this case, when are you planning on returning to the ship?" Joker asked. "So I can, you know, make sure I am far, far away first."

"I was thinking some time late, tonight. After the Commander has retired," Kaidan admitted. What he didn't want to admit was the fact that some part of him, was hoping she may just return to the bar again. One last night before they depart. It was a thought that he tried to dismiss but the more he considered it, the more he wanted it.

"If I was you, I wouldn't delay. Get it over and done with rather than sitting here stressing over what might be. At least then you will know." He said as he stood up from the table.

"I will think about it," Kaidan responded distracted. He wasn't thinking about Joker's suggestion at all but his own thoughts. What were the chances she might actually show up for a second night?

"For what it's worth, good luck," Joker said as he stood up from his chair. "On the other hand I am going to go now, before someone realises I am missing."

"Hey, thanks for coming down here," Kaidan added sincerely.

"Don't mention it," Joker responded, waving him off before he turned in the direction he had arrived from.

Kaidan knew Joker was right to be concerned, hell he was worried about the outcome himself. So why then was he very seriously considering the possibility of repeating the same mistake a second night? Rather than facing the music on the Normandy as soon as possible and getting it over with? Especially considering how unlikely it was that she would even return.

He tapped his fingers on the table absently. Maybe part of him desperately wanted to know if the connection he felt was one sided, or if there was even the remote chance that she had felt it too. His mind returned to the message on the datapad, somehow he needed to find out.