Chapter Fifteen

I left New York that afternoon. I protested it, but Stacey and my mother insisted I did. I kept telling them that it didn't matter if I stay or went, Adam wouldn't want to see my anyway. I hoped, deep down, that he would want to see me, but I was scared of walking into that hospital room, with him awake or not, and him asking what I was doing there. Why would he want his ex girlfriend there when his family and friends should be there? And I knew Vanessa would be there, obviously. I didn't want to see her or face her. Actually, I didn't know who I was more scared of seeing, Adam or Vanessa.

The train ride home seemed over in a flash. I didn't want my weekend with Stacey to be over. I didn't want to have to go though this. Coming home made it real. Adam was really hurt, really bad, and really unconcious. But I didn't cry. I didn't cry when my mom met me at the platform. I didn't cry when she told me that a drunk driver had ran a stop sign and hit Shea's truck, injuring Adam the most because he was on the impact side. I didn't cry when she said he had broken ribs, a punctured lung and a bunch of brusing. I didn't say a word about it, I showed no emotion about it, until I got home.

When I got home, I immediately went up to my room. I turned on the computer and went on Facebook. The very first thing I saw was the picture of Adam and I. Not even two weeks ago, when we were together and he wasn't in the hospital. The second I saw that picture, I burst into tears. The tears turned into crying convulsions, and I couldn't breathe. My mom suddenly rushed into my bedroom.

"Put your head between your knees!" She instructed. "Now, take nice, slow, deep breaths. That's a girl. Shhh. It will all be okay."

"How do you know, Mom?" I sobbed. "What if it's not and he dies?"

Mom didn't say anything, because she knew as well as I did that he very well could. She just rubbed my back as I cried.

"How could two weeks make such a difference?" I asked her. "Two weeks, Mom! Two lousy weeks, and look at everything that has happened!"

"Maybe God is just getting all the bad stuff over at once." Mom lamely suggested.

"Well, God is being an idiot!" I told her.

"Char."

I blew my nose. "Well, even He makes mistakes, and taking Adam would be a huge one!"

"He's not going to take Adam." Mom assured me, even though she had no idea. "He's a strong kid, a healthy kid, and those are great odds. You know that."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." I said flatly.

"Okay." Mom agreed, standing up. "I think Becca is on her way over, though, she asked what time we'd be home. Do you want me to tell her you're not up for talking when she gets here?"

"No." I answered. "She can come up here."

"Okay." Mom replied, patting my back again and giving me a hug. "It will be okay, Char. You just have to keep the faith, okay?"

I forced a smile. "Okay." I told her. "Thanks."

Mom left my room and I turned off the computer. I didn't want to look at that picture anymore. Instead, I curled up on my bed and pulled my old throw blanket around me. I laid there, crying softly and thinking. What if this was it? What if he really did...? I tried to force that thought out of my head but it wouldn't leave. What if I never got to say goodbye? I knew I should go to the hospital, I knew I should. But... I couldn't. Adam wouldn't want to see me. We said our goodbyes, and, yes, they weren't those kind of goodbyes. But they were goodbye's, and that was that.

"Char?"

"Hi." I answered without turning around.

Becca came in and closed the door behind her. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes best friends know too much about you.

Becca sat at the foot of my bed and folded her legs. "Do you want to come to the hospital with me? He's in Stamford, but I talked-."

"No." I interrupted.

"Why not?"

"Cause he wouldn't want me there."

"Char, come on."

I turned and faced Becca. "Beck!" I exclaimed. "He. Broke. Up. With. Me! He won't want to see me."

"He didn't break up with you cause of you, he broke up with you cause of Vanessa." Becca reminded me.

"Yet another reason not to go."

Becca sighed. "Char, at the risk of sounding like an insensitive friend... you are being an idiot."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"No! I'm not!"

"Yes! You are!"

I sighed loudly. "Becca, I'm really not into arguing with you, so if that's all you came to do, you can go."

"I came to see you, and see how you were doing." Becca reminded me gently. "I really think that you're making a mistake not going and seeing him."

"What difference does it make, anyhow?" I asked her. "It's not like he would even know if I was there!"

"Yes, he would, they say patients in coma's hear nearly everything." Becca told me. "They just can't respond."

"Thank you, Doctor Ramsey." I said sarcastically.

"Would you like me to go ask your mother?"

"No." I knew she was right. I was just being miserable, cranky, stubborn and confused.

"I know you're upset." Becca said quietly. "Just don't jump all over me for trying to be supportive, okay? I've never had a best friends very recent ex boyfriend get in a car accident before, so I don't know how to deal."

"Me either." I whispered. "Becca?" I asked, sitting up and facing her.

"What?"

I took a deep breath. "What if... what if he... you know?" I couldn't say that word. My voice started to break, and Becca immediately pulled me into a hug.

"He's not, Char." She said firmly, her own voice cracking. "He's not going to!"

We sat their, embraced and crying for a few minutes, until Becca's phone started beeping. She pulled away and opened her phone as I wiped my eyes.

"It's Corrie." She told me. "Her and Shea are waiting outside."

"How is he, anyway?" I asked her.

"He cracked his left wrist and got some brusing from the seatbelt, but that's all." Becca answered. "He got all patched up last night and got to come home."

"Good."

Becca stood up. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" She asked again. "You have us with you, you're not going to be alone."

I shook my head. "No." I answered. "I really don't want to go."

Becca hugged me again. "Okay." She replied. "Love you, bestie."

"Love you too." I answered, hugging her back. "Tell Shea I'm glad he's okay."

"I will." Becca said, walking out my bedroom door.

After she left, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt anxious and bored and worried and stressed and energetic all at the same time. I wandered though the house, opened the fridge, closed the fridge, turned on the TV, turned off the TV, went upstairs, went downstairs, went outside, came back inside. I felt like I was losing my mind, so I went back up to my room to have a nap.

I slept for about three hours. I had a very weird dream (I usually have weird dreams when I sleep in the middle of the day). I dreamed that Adam showed up at my house, but his truck was a hospital bed. I thought nothing of it and hopped on. We then started to fly across the ocean, and ended up in this dark cave. I was so scared, but Adam took my hand and we walked to the end of the cave and ended up in the bottom of this wishing well. Only the coins that should have been down there were actually frogs! We were just about to try throwing the frogs out of the well to go get help when I was suddenly by my mom asking me to come down for dinner.

I spent the rest of the weekend at home. My dad came home, and asked me if I wanted to go looking at cars (I turn sixteen in February and my parents promised me a new-to-me car). I declined on the offer, not just because I was having a crummy weekend, but because if I had my very own car in my driveway, I think the months until my birthday would drag and drag and drag. I know he was just trying to cheer me up.

On Sunday, Becca came over with the bright idea to make Get Well Soon cards for Adam. I obliged, but only because it was easier than listening to her whine at me about it. She put a lot of effort into hers, and it actually came out really beautiful. Mine was disgusting, a hodge-podge of ugly colors, useless stickers and glue marks. I had every intention of tossing it in the garbage the second Becca left.

"You're not putting a lot of effort into that." Becca told me, glancing down as I haphazardly taped down a pipe cleaner.

I shrugged. "It's the best I can do."

"It is not."

"Okay, it's the best I want to do." I answered. "I'm making one, okay? That's all you asked from me."

"Quit being so grumpy at me." Becca said, blowing her glue dry.

"Sorry." I muttered, tossing my card aside and pulling my knees up to my chin. I looked at Becca's beautiful card and my hideous one, and started to cry.

"What?" Becca asked, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"No wonder Adam doesn't like me, I can't even make him a nice Get Well card!" I sobbed, knowing how ridiculous I sounded.

Becca's lips twitched, and I knew she was trying not to laugh."Oh, Char." She soothed, before letting out a small giggle. "I'm sorry! You're being way too hard on yourself, honey! You didn't do anything wrong, so quit being so hard on yourself. You're being mean to my best friend!"

My mouth twitched too. "Okay." I answered, smiling. "But my card really is a mess!"

Becca burst out laughing. "Yeah, it's a train wreck!" She agreed, giving me a sideways hug.

Monday morning... yet again. I really had no desire to go to school, but since I missed part of Thursday and all of Friday, my mother was making me go. I'm sure if I really wasn't feeling up to it, she wouldn't have made me, but I was sick of moping around at home. And, this would be one of the only times Vanessa wouldn't be there. I knew her mother wasn't making any of them go to school while their brother is laying in a hospital in a coma. The accident was on a Thursday. He had been out for three days and some odd hours. I didn't dare ask my mom if this was normal, because I was scared of the answer. So, like always, I pushed that thought out of my head and concentrated on getting myself ready for school.

I met Becca outside her house and together we walked to school. I knew she had been to see Adam the night before, with Corrie and Carolyn, but I didn't ask her how it went, and she didn't tell me. I tried to pretend that she wasn't going to see him, so that I didn't have to feel so bad about not seeing him. It didn't work, and I still felt bad.

My morning classes dragged on. Haley didn't even bother trying to talk to me or even look at me in English, which was completely fine by me. Even though I was pretty sure she had nothing to do with anything, I still didn't want to talk to her. Not until I knew for sure, which could be never.

When lunchtime finally hit, I made a break for the door. I couldn't wait to get outside and get some fresh air. Becca met me at her locker and together, with Jake, we left the school and went and sat out on the grass. Since it was already nearly November, we were going to take advantage of any sunny day we got.

"Hey, Char, I have a joke for you." Jake told me as we settled onto the grass. "A guy walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home.' The doctor hears this, thinks for a moment, then says, 'Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' the guy asks. "Well, it's not unusual." "

I stared at him blankly. "Then what?"

Jake shrugged. "I mean... I don't... I don't know what the doctor, like, prescribed him, or anything..."

"That's the end, Char." Becca laughed. "You know, that song that Tom Jones sang, that Carlton always sang on The Fresh Prince?"

I thought for a moment. "Oh!" I exclaimed. "Oh, that's so lame!"

Jake and Becca both laughed. Jake gets really excited when he stumps someone with a joke, even though, hands down, he didn't get it until someone explained it to him as well.

"Anyway." Becc said, rolling her eyes with a grin. "We are going to Stamford tonight. Do-."

"No."

"Oka-a-ay."

Becca didn't bring up Adam anymore. Instead, we spent the rest of out lunch hour, listening to Jake try to remember how a joke ended, or laughing painfully at some other lame ones he would come up with. The way he told the jokes, you'd never know if it was the end or not, until he would look expectantly at you and you'd realise it was over, and laugh, just to please him.

At the end of the day, I walked home alone. Becca and Jake got picked up by Shea and Corrie, along with Carolyn. They offered to drive me home (Corrie's got this ghetto K car type thing with a bench seat in the front) but I decided I wanted to walk. It is a long walk normally, but alone, it seemed to take forever. When I finally got home, the house was empty. I couldn't handle the quiet, so I turned the TV on and watched about four reruns of Friends. I was about to go upstairs and have a nice, long bath, when the doorbell rang. I pulled the door open and saw Vanessa standing on my front stoop. Although, it didn't seem like Vanessa. The cocky smirk continuously planted on her face was gone. Her eyes looked small and red. She looked like a tiny, scared, little girl.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. Then it hit me. Adam was gone. Vanessa was calling to tell me that he had... He didn't make it.

Vanessa must have saw the look on my face. "Adam's awake." She told me. "I just thought you should know."

He was awake! He wasn't gone, he was awake. I felt the tears start pouring out, but for once, I didn't care. Vanessa was crying too.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked her, opening the door further and silently inviting her in.

"Because... you should be with him." Vanessa said. "I never should have acted the way that I did. I lied to you, about Haley telling me that shit about you. I didn't want my brother dating you, but I really didn't know why. Then I figured it out. I was jealous."

My eyes dropped. Was Vanessa a lesbian?

"Not jealous cause he was dating you." She quickly added. "Jealous cause he was hanging out with you and I wasn't anymore. It really made me miss my friend, and I knew we could never be friends again.

"I'm sorry I lied." Vanessa continued on. "I'm sorry that I interfered. I know apologizing isn't going to make up for a thing I did, but it's a start, right?"

I nodded, completely speechless and unsure of what to say.

"After this accident with Adam, I was sick to my stomach." Vanessa said, sobbing. "I was so mad at myself for lying to the both of you, and all I could think about was, what if this is it? What if I never get the chance to tell Adam and Charlotte how wrong I was, and how terrible I have been? What if they never get the chance to see each other again?

"Life's too short." She whispered, choking back a sob.

"The truth is, Vanessa." I started. "I'm crazy about your brother. I want that to be good enough."

"It is, it is." Vanessa promised. "Oh, God, Char, I just feel so awful for everything that happened. I think about it, and can't believe I did so many horrible things. I just feel so bad."

"You should." I told her. I wasn't about to sugar coat anything for Vanessa. Her coming over and apologizing and basically giving me her blessing was really nice, but I couldn't forget everything that she did. Forgive, maybe, forget, no.

"I do." Vanessa answered solemnly. "And you know what else?"

"What?"

Vanessa looked like she was about to cry again. "Kerry and Tiffany never asked me about Adam at all!"

"Are you serious?" I asked. "Some friends you picked."

"I know." She answered. "I made a really bad choice. I know I can't take it back, and I know things will never be able to be the same with us, but... Char, can you forgive me?"

I nodded. I was more than ready for this stupid feud to be over with. Vanessa grinned and stood up.

"I'm going to the hospital right now." Vanessa told me. "I know you don't think Adam wants to see you, but he does. Will you come with me?"

I was quiet for a moment. I still wasn't certain if he wanted to see me. But Vanessa was right. Life's too short. I nodded yes.

The drive to Stamford was long and quiet. Me and Vanessa didn't have much to say to one another, so we turned the radio on instead. Finally, after what seemed like days, we pulled into the parking lot at Stamford General Hospital.

"Wait." I said to Vanessa as we walked in the main enterence. "I don't have a present for Adam!"

"You don't need to get him a present, Char." Vanessa assured me. "You are enough."

I didn't believe her though, so I ducked into the gift shop and found a cute little bear with a few bandages and a thermometer in his mouth.

"He'll be perfect." I decided, handing the cashier some cash.

"Ready?" Vanessa asked me as we walked towards the elevator.

I shook my head and shrugged. "Guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I answered. The elevator took us up to the third floor and Vanessa led me down the hallway, and turned into room 326.

Corrie, Shea, Becca and Carolyn were all standing around Adam's bed. They all turned when Vanessa and I walked in, and every, single one of them looked shocked. But then, one by one, they all smiled and backed away from the bed, giving Adam and I some space.

"Hey, you." He said softly as I inched closer to the bed. "I've missed you."

I nodded, unable to speak as the tears started falling. "Me, too." I finally managed to squeak out. As I inched closer, Adam patted the side of his bed, I sat down gingerly, then finally, rested my head against his shoulder and started to sob. Adam was silent as he stroked my hair, and I knew that we would be together again.