Disclaimer- Don't own Twilight

Claimer- Do own the plot and Artemis

APOV

Despair. This is the feeling that I have felt since my mom died. I used to feel a lot more then just that simple feeling. Love, joy, contentment, happiness, courage, I even felt sorrow, hatred, loneliness, and many others. But not once have I ever-felt despair like this.

I was on my way to Forks. I didn't want to go there. My mom hated the rain and I have grown to hate it too. I have never really seen the real rain, but I felt that it made me sad whenever I saw it in the pictures that my mom showed me and all the home videos. I was going to live with my dad Charlie. He was the police chief of the small town and I couldn't help but wonder what went on in that boring old town to actually have a police station.

Right at his moment I was putting my small duffle bag in the little cubby above me. Before I closed it I took out my Ipod and sat down. I put the earphones into my ears and just listened to my music. I didn't even look over to the person who was sitting next to me.

The whole ride I didn't get up once to go to the bathroom. I didn't once ask for a drink of anything but water. I didn't even once ask for any food. I just sat back and listened to my music. No one disturbed me. If I were my usual perky upbeat self then I would have gotten the attention of everyone on the plane. That is how I used to be. That is how I was when my mom was still around. Now I am the girl no one wants to be around because of the aura of despair I give off.

You would give of this aura if you had to go though what I went though. If you had to see what I had to see. I wont go into the detail, just know that I hope you don't have to go though half the stuff I went though in the last two months.

--

We finally landed in Forks. Guess what. It was raining. To be honest, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gong to be. It strangely made me feel a little safe in my despair.

I walked out of the airport and welcomed the droplets of rain that was landing on my head, face, and rolling down my neck and chest. I wanted to stay in the rain and let it wash away all my pain.

"Artie!" I turned my head to see my dad running to me with an umbrella.

"Daddy!" I yelled. I haven't seen my dad and forever, and yes, I do still call him daddy. He gave me a strange happiness that I haven't felt in two months.

Before I got to him though I tripped on my clumsy face right into a puddle. Luckily it was dark and not many people saw me. This is also something that came with my depression stage. I have always been clumsy, but now I am a danger magnet to me and everyone around.

"Artie are you ok?" Charlie asked. I might call him daddy, but I am seventeen and I do call him Charlie too.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said brushing my self off.

"Lets get you home and to the shower." He smiled at me. I nodded and walked with him.

We rode in the cruiser. I remember when I was about five and he had drove down to California with the cruiser to meet me and my mom for one of yearly meetings. He drove me around in it and I was so happy and excited. Now all I thought about was how depressing I was. How big of a turn around is that?

"I got you a car." Charlie said breaking the silence.

"You didn't have to do that." I told him in an emotionless tone.

"Well I got it cheep from Billy. You remember him?" I shook my head. "He came with me that one time to came and visit you. He brought his daughters and son along."

"Oh." I still didn't remember. I just didn't really care.

"Well I got you a (insert forgotten date here) Chevy." He said.

I thought that it was old and that it wouldn't run, but I didn't tell him that.

"Thank you dad." I smiled at him. If he were mom he would have figured out that it was a forced smile. He just smiled back.

We reached the house and unloaded my stuff. I didn't have much, just some clothes and other necessities. I walked up to my room and unpacked. I liked the way Charlie didn't hover over me. He left me to do what I needed and watched baseball down stairs.

I looked around my room. When I was a baby this is probably what it looked like. I haven't been in this room since I was a few months old. Ever since my mom and dad got divorced we have always met in California. A rocking chair was in one of the corners, the walls were an off white, and their curtains were still a little babyish. The only big difference was that the crib was changed to a bed and there was now a desk and computer.

When I was done unpacking and took my shower I opened my window. The sound of the rain was really calming and it relaxed me. I stuck my head out of the window and let the droplets pore down my head and into my face. I noticed that there was room for my to climb out of my window and sit in the rain. I grabbed my Ipod and sat on the roof and just let the rain engulf me.

I don't know how long I sat there, but I did know I was getting tired and I had to go to school in the mourning. I got up and nearly slipped off the roof, but I made it inside safely though. I left the window opened and let the calming sound of the rain on the roof drift me off to sleep.

Tomorrow will be a really fun day. (Note: sarcasm)

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