Friendship
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The door opened with a noisy creak and the high schooler made his way into the familiar empty classroom. His heart beating fast in his chest for the third time in the day as he steeled his resolve for what he was about to do.
'These events are bad for my heart' he thought to himself in a dark chuckle, trying to distract himself from the dark haired girl waiting for him in the oppressive emptiness.
Apparently it didn't work as he could feel his heart skipping a beat and he fought the urge to step back and go home. The girl turned around, having noticed him and stopping any chances of retreat.
She stared at him with her cold eyes, furrowed brows and not a trace of a smile, her arms crossed in a defensive position. The two stood before one another, analyzing the situation.
Their eyes crossed, he could feel the depth of the girl's thoughts behind those blue eyes of hers. If he had anything to compare them to it would be a dark and cold lake on a hot summer day. He felt as if he could lose himself in the depths of her gaze.
He didn't know how much time had passed since the two had seen each other, but in the end the girl, Kazusa Touma seemed to have noticed how long she had been staring and looked away, her arms still crossed, her cheeks getting an almost unnoticeable trace of red, something that someone with less experience than Haruki would probably pass unnoticed. She was embarrassed, that much he could tell.
He tried to speak, once, twice... 'Come on, you can do it' he thought trying to steel himself. Touma was still looking at the window where the fading sunlight bathed everything in a bloody red color.
After prolonging the silence for more than it was comfortable, he finally found his words and after clearing his voice he finally spoke. "So...here we are" he said trying to sound amiable and impressed by how weak his voice sounded.
"..." the girl only stared at him, expectant. He wasn't sure how to proceed. It was true he had just a little bit of experience but he had never tackled this subject before, and certainly didn't expect to attempt to confess to the girl in front of him. He just never thought she would feel the same way he did after all.
Some more seconds passed uncomfortably before he could even notice.
"...idiot", was the first thing she said.
"Excuse me?" he asked after a moment. Now this was more like her.
"Is that all you have to tell me?" she said moving forwards, her arms still crossed as she stared at him with her usual scowl. To anyone else such actions would think of confrontation and would assume that the scowling girl in front of him was angry.
He knew better after all. The subtle hint of red in her cheeks and the way she played with her hair was evident if one knew where to look. And he understood Touma better than most, after all, they had spent several weeks together while preparing for the concert.
'If you confess to her this afternoon, she's sure to reciprocate' said the soft voice of the sweet red head girl from his memories. That's right, Setsuna had told him as much. There was no point in chickening out now.
"So I guess you know why I'm here, right?" he said trying to start again. 'Life's all about beginnings and endings. I've made peace with that' the girl from his memories said and he struggled to ignore the dark thoughts that threatened to emerge from it.
"Y-yes" Touma replied looking away once again. He felt the need to tease her as he had never seen the girl so defenseless, so cute. 'Be straight and to the point' the memory remembered and so he relented.
Taking a deep breath, he continued. "Then...you know how I feel about you" he said after a moment, the fear of rejection, of being wrong, of having his heart broken reaching the surface but taking another breath he held those thoughts back. 'No more games, just tell her how you feel'
"...yes" Touma replied, apparently trembling a little. She didn't answer after that, apparently unsure of how to proceed. The scowl in her face hadn't lessened a bit.
"Then...I, I guess there's nothing else to say" he started, 'Be clear on what you want' the voice in his memories chided him. "Should we...?"
"You idiot!" was the response and the world moved too fast for his mind to process.
Movement, the warmth of her lips pressed against his and the feeling of love, a love so strong he knew they were meant for each other. There were also tears, guilt and the knowledge that things would never be the same.
'Life's about beginnings and endings. I've made peace with that'.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
'Life's about beginnings and endings. I've made peace with that' reverberated the memory as tears flowed from her eyes. She had said as much, it didn't mean it didn't hurt.
She let herself lay on bed, crying to her heart content. Her long red hair normally neatly tied with ribbons was now loose and unkempt. She was still in the white dress she wore for the concert.
"Its not fair" she mumbled to herself. But she knew better than to blame them. After all, she had seen two paths before herself, to remain friends with Haruki and Touma or to risk her friendship and confess to Haruki. Her heart was confused, she wished she could be friends with them and still have Haruki to herself, why was she so selfish?
She thought about it, once, twice, several days and as the three of them interacted it became more and more evident that there was no way to take Touma's place in his heart. It came down to one simple question, was she willing to ruin their friendship to get a part of the love he was willing to give? The answer was a resounding no.
It had all been so simple. She knew that if she confessed before Touma did, she could have Haruki accept her. She also knew that Touma and Haruki were both stranded, unwilling to open up to their true feelings.
They were stuck, all three of them. And things wouldn't change unless someone took actions to do it.
'Would it be bad if things stayed like this forever?' she thought to herself as she pondered it. In the end she realized it didn't make sense. Things chance, people change. And if they kept bottling their feelings things would escalate until one of them exploded, and then she would lose everything and be alone again.
That scary thought was the thing she needed to mark her course of action.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
The door opened with a noisy creak and she took a deep breath as she heard the heavy steps of the girl she had waited for. She didn't talk, instead she kept looking at the beautiful sight of the school before her and let her red hair sway in the wind as she prepared her response.
"Hello, Touma-san" said Setsuna as she turned around, quickly giving off the most pleasant smile she was capable of. 'Its better to start on good terms' she thought to herself. She had practiced smiling a lot since her little 'incident' in middle school.
"Hello Setsuna, you said you wanted to talk?" Touma replied back as she walked towards her. The dark haired girl studied her warily and Setsuna could notice the hints of nervousness on her face, the subtle weakness in her steps which betrayed her doubt, along with the way she stared at the red head made it evident she was steeling herself for a potential conflict. 'Better to defuse that' thought Setsuna.
"Yeah, also wanted to eat together, have you eaten yet?" the redhead girl said politely as she took out some food from a styrofoam bag and quickly moved towards the dark haired girl in front of her. She had prepared these in advance in case things got too tense between the two. After all, nothing better to get people together and ease pain than a nice dish.
"I-its okay, I'm not hun-" Touma started, evidently taken aback by her efforts. She was a fighter, not a diplomat after all and always had a head on approach to dealing with her problems that Setsuna couldn't help but admire a bit. 'If only I was so strong' she thought to herself as she handed Touma the food before she could finish her reply.
"Its okay no need to hold back. I made too much anyway~" she continued cheerful, trying to look as natural as possible and trying to ignore the feeling of aggressiveness Touma had been giving as she made her way to the rooftop.
"Well, if you have no problem with that..." the dark haired girl said accepting her offer. 'Good, first step achieved' thought Setsuna as she opened hers and poured some tea for the two.
"The weather's beautiful, isn't it?" she prodded, trying to start conversation as the two sat down on the floor, in the only piece of shadow of the rooftop. The days were always cold in that time of the year and they were one day close to their concert. The only chance to get some respite from the pressure of school and the constant practice was during lunch which they usually took together with Haruki and the others.
Today though Setsuna had decided to avoid third parties until things were talked through, she felt it was better that way and thought it would be easier to get Touma to open up.
"Yes, its very warm" Touma replied with a small smile as she started eating some of the food. It seemed she was more at ease, or perhaps had forgotten why she had summoned her here of all places. "Look Setsuna, why did you ask me to come here now?" she asked very straightforwardly, catching her slightly off guard.
Feeling there was no point in dragging the situation unnecessarily and knowing Touma responded better to honesty, Setsuna took a deep breath and decided to keep it simple. "Why, well I wanted to talk about us, about the future...and about love"
The food in Touma's chopsticks remained centimeters from her mouth as she tensed up. Setsuna could almost hear the other girl's heart skipping a beat until she realized it was her own that was scared. Accepting that feeling she decided to push forth, things wouldn't be resolved if they kept avoiding the issue and she knew she was the one most ready to take action and face the consequences.
"And why is that? I-its not like there's anything to talk about" Touma said suddenly getting defensive. Setsuna could see it, both in her scowl which threatened to mar her soft features and the way she wanted to cross her arms defensively, to protect herself from getting hurt.
She knew she needed to overcome this barrier if she was to make things change. Haruki was much easier to read, but Touma...Touma had always been the most stubborn and fragile of the three. Always hiding her fragile heart through her aloof demeanor.
"Yes it is. He loves you, you know?" she said plainly, trying to prevent her from trembling and to ignore the ache of pain in her heart as she said those words. The confirmation of her defeat.
Touma gasped a bit and stared at her as if she had gone crazy. "W-what do you mean? As if there was a way that idiot w-would..." she continued trying to scoff at the idea. Setsuna had seen people doing that, trying to avoid the emotions and getting hopeful through humor.
She would have to break that barrier before they could go further. Haruki had told her about it once, what was it called, conciliatory effort? "Yeah, he's quite naive, isn't he?" Setsuna agreed with her assessment with a small giggle as she kept eating from her lunch.
In truth Haruki was quite sly and she had seen the way he tried to flirt with Touma. He had a way with words and Setsuna thought that his lack of experience was the only thing that kept him from being successful, that and his lack of confidence. Some people just needed to be more direct.
Still if she wanted Touma to open up she would need to concede her battles, just as she had to concede the war.
"..." Touma stared at her, still unsure of what was going to happen. She had stopped eating, a sign they were losing some of the progress.
"But please, have some more" she offered more of the rice balls she had prepared for the ocassion and more tea which Touma took wordlessly.
"You know, I don't mind if you two end together" Setsuna said since Touma didn't seem willing to break the silence. She did mind, but she knew there was no point in backing up now. She had made her decision and now she had to see it through.
"Setsuna..." she stared at her, apparently confused assumed Setsuna.
"Its okay, I just want to know that if you and him are together, please, lets keep being good friends, okay?" she said looking at Kazusa in the eye. She could notice hints of guilt and fear. She would have to dispell those, comfort the other girl.
"Please promise, Touma that no matter what happens we'll keep being friends" she asked more firmly, feeling the fear of being left alone creeping at the back of her mind and in her heart.
"I...I promise" the dark haired girl relented after a while. Lowering her gaze.
"Thank you" she said smiling a little. Now to the difficult part... "I asked Haruki to go to our classroom after the concert. Its your best chance to talk your feelings through" the red haired girl said as she set up the event. She had already talked with Haruki about it and asked him to go, telling him about Touma's feelings would go after the concert and then...well, she would need plenty of ice cream and rest.
It was starting to hurt, but she knew she had to endure until the concert and then...well time would tell.
"I think I'm off, need to prepare for the concert. It was a pleasure to talk with you, my friend~" said Setsuna giving her a kind if slightly heart broken smile.
For the first time, she fell in love. She found friends she wanted to keep for life. Those two happinesses came together and she was sure, together they would bring much more happiness with them.
It was an end, but it was also a new beginning.