A/N: Wow, this is my first story on here ever! And I already have 2 reviews! I'm really pleased... I was going to update after the first one. :) I have a few chapters already written out, and I suppose I'll release chapters on review basis (wouldn't want to keep putting something out that no one reads, yanno?)
gyto - Thank you very much! You're my very first reviewer outside of my friends ever! Here's another chapter for ya, hope you enjoy it:-D
macalaniaprincess - Thanks! I adore CloTi's alot too... and I'm glad you like my style of writing. I haven't really decided how it's going to develop between them, but I have a sketchy idea. We'll see :)
Chapter 2
The next morning Tifa was up early to help the children get ready for school. Everyone told Chisa goodbye, and set out with Elmira to school. Tifa helped Chisa get her things together in a compact fashion, and they were soon joined by a very much awake Yuffie. They left the bar and headed towards the place Tifa was to pick up the package, somewhere close to Walmarket. After it was paid for and received, the trio headed for a couple of chocobos the heroes had stabled. Chisa rode with Tifa and Yuffie had her own smaller chocobo. They were on their way out of Midgar by 9:30, and the sun was shining brightly over them. It proved to be a very beautiful day. Their trip took very little time, only about an hour and a half, made easier by the fact that both chocobos were golden and easily able to cross ocean, river, and mountain alike. Chisa thoroughly enjoyed the ride, and she gave the giant bird a big hug before following behind Yuffie into the village. Yuffie pointed the Hanobu house out to Tifa before disappearing off to see her father.
When Tifa knocked, Chisa squeezed her hand extra tightly, slightly nervous. Tifa gave her an encouraging smile as the door was opened by a very kind looking couple. Their expressions went from curious to excited and happy when they spotted Chisa.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Hanobu. I'm Tifa and I've brought Chisa to meet you two and your son," she introduced. Chisa smiled shyly up at the two, delighting them.
"She's just as darling in person as she was in the picture! Oh, please come right in!" the mother said, letting them in the door and showing them to a seat in the living room. Tifa was surveying the place carefully as they chatted for a few moments. Then the mother was unable to hold it in anymore. "I must say, Miss Lockheart, I'm shocked to see you here with her today! I thought you were to personally get to know us before we met the child… isn't that the way it is supposed to work?" Tifa nodded.
"Yes but I heard from Yuffie who is a good friend of mine that you were lovely people so I decided to go on her word and bring Chisa to meet you. I trust Yuffie completely," she explained. They both looked very pleased to receive such praise from the village head's daughter, and soon began talking to Tifa and Chisa. The girl was very shy at first but she soon came out of her shell and started talking animatedly. Tifa watched her interact with the couple and their son, and knew her decision immediately. Chisa even turned to Tifa and gave her a significant look, which told Tifa all she needed to know. She was quick to let the couple know of her decision. "I am pleased to let you know that I think you will make excellent parents for Chisa. All I need now is for you to sign these papers for me and I'll make sure you're registered as the parents of this wonderful little girl," she told them, to which they both exclaimed their delight.
The papers were signed quickly and Chisa was soon hugging Tifa and thanking her for everything, and then the new parents joyfully gave Tifa huge hugs before seeing her off. She knew Yuffie was busy so she decided to catch up with the girl later. Now she could go see Red. First she called Elmira to let her know, then she was off on her chocobo to Cosmo Canyon. The ride was smooth and rather quick, and Tifa arrived with the sun still pretty high in the sky. The guards at the gates let her in readily, and she immediately headed up towards the observatory. Once reaching the door, she gave a few knocks and was bid to enter. She did so and Red greeted her enthusiastically, although with some surprise.
"Tifa! It's good to see you! What brings you here today?" he questioned, getting right to the point immediately. Noticing her haggard appearance, he decided that formalities could be done away with for today. She obviously needed something from him. She sat down wearily in a chair and took a breath before speaking.
"I need some advice… and you're the wisest, most trustworthy person I know," she started, gathering her thoughts and pushing her embarrassment away (she hated talking about such tender feelings to anyone, even herself). When she began speaking again, it was in a slow, halting manner. "I have been… afflicted with certain feelings for a very long time. They're bothersome usually, but lately it's just become to the point where I feel like I am going to explode inside with the pain it causes. I—well, you're giving me that look that says I'm not explaining enough, so I'll get out with it. Ever since we were young and living in Nibelheim I have been in love with Cloud. Over the years it has just gotten worse and worse… especially knowing that he only sees me as one of his best friends and nothing else. I mean, look how torn up he was over Aerith. He blamed himself for her death and wouldn't forgive himself until just recently… yet even now he still travels to the Forgotten Capital and visits her. I know he does, for once I followed him there to give him a package to deliver. I was really just curious, you see.
"She's the love of his life and I don't think he'll ever get over her. That's why I hate having these feelings for him… they consume me more and more until I want to cut my heart out so I won't feel the pain. I wish to get over this and move on, but I don't know how. Red… I need your help. I need someone's help before I go insane with the hurt! Even Denzel sees it… that kid is so smart; I think he watches me closely. He knows how I feel and I think it makes him sad. I'm not asking to find happiness I just want to be at peace and cease to be overwhelmed by love for someone who will never return that feeling. He'll never be torn up over me the way he was over Aerith. Aerith was the beautiful angel whom everyone loved. I'm just a tomboy with a nice pair of legs and a nice chest area. I haven't slept much lately because these feelings won't leave me alone… sometimes I feel like shriveling up into a ball and crying for days and days until I'm completely dehydrated. But I have to take care of the orphans and so I go on every day with this huge ache in my body. Some days I just have to practically push myself out of bed to get on with the day and with life… do you have any ideas or advice?" she finally finished, stopping to take a breath.
Red had been watching her while she explained her problem to him and had seen all the pain she spoke of reflected deep in her ruby eyes. It even hurt him to see all of that hurt shining out from such a beautiful person. He shook his wild mane as if to make sense of it all. Finally he spoke.
"Tifa, you are a very beautiful woman yourself, don't ever think otherwise. Even though you are sure that Aerith is the love of Cloud's life, I am not so sure. He visits her constantly, yes, but I think that is because he has no one to share his thoughts and feelings to. He isn't one to open up to people much, just like you yourself. I think most of the group is that way, and it is sad to see that we cannot open up to each other. I am glad you have come to me with your feelings, though. I shall offer you the best advice I have. I am not skilled in the area of love, but I do know that to keep beating yourself down the way you do, as if you weren't good enough for him isn't the way to go. It only causes your self esteem great damage which may be irrevocable.
"To heal the hurts of your heart, you must find something else to dedicate yourself entirely to. Perhaps being around Cloud all the time and working with him makes it worse. Therefore you might look into relocating somewhere where you can try forgetting about him. He will always be there, but if you can be away from him for a while until you find yourself falling out of love with him, then later on you can become friends again. Do not let yourself dwell on thoughts of him, instead think about other things. Then you can look at things rationally and see that there are other things to replace the void you feel inside of you. Tifa, you're a wonderful person who deserves happiness or as you put it peace. It takes one day at a time for these things to work…" he said, giving her the best he could possibly do. He had no idea about Cloud's feelings so he just went with her thinking. Tifa thought on this a few minutes and finally nodded, her head rising slightly.
"Yes, that sounds completely doable. I shall look into relocation tomorrow. I only have a small handful of orphans to place, and then I will be able to move away, perhaps back to Nibelheim, or maybe somewhere new. No, Nibelheim holds too many memories. Costa del Sol… yes! A place on the beach full of sunshine… I am sure that would lift my spirits considerably!" she mused, happy with her choice. "Thank you so much, Red! I don't think I could have done this without you," she told him, hugging the big red feline around his neck fur. He purred in response to show his acceptance of her thanks. "I should be getting back to Midgar before Denzel kills me for staying away from him all day long," she added, rising. Red walked her to the gate, wishing her luck as she mounted her chocobo and rode off. He watched her for a few minutes until her form disappeared, worry creasing his brow. He hoped his advice worked, for Tifa was dangerously close to losing hope in everything. It never ceased to amaze him how thickheaded and blind Cloud could be. Even now, with Tifa literally falling apart right in front of him, Cloud had no clue. Hopefully he would know when she left, but Red doubted it. He then went the great fire to send a prayer out for his friends.
Meanwhile Tifa was flying over the ground, her mind made up about her plans. She would miss the children, Denzel and Marlene, Barret, and especially Cloud… but she needed to get away from him. She saw that now very clearly, and the roaring ache in her calmed slightly. Already she was feeling better about the prospect, and a change of pace would also be welcome. When she got back to the bar, Denzel was waiting for her anxiously, and was overjoyed to see her. She put him to bed after relating that Chisa was with a very good family, then headed to bed herself. She slept easier that night now that something was there to occupy her mind with other than Cloud.
The next day she busied herself with finding the remaining children homes, interviewing some families and giving them the yes or no. By the end of the day she had seen three more orphans in new families, and it pleased her greatly. Cloud got back just as the sun was setting, and Tifa fixed him his desired drink as she related the past couple days' business to him. Now that he was back and near her, Tifa felt herself drowning once more, and knew more than before that she just had to get away soon. Very soon. She gave him the next few days' delivery orders and turned in for the night, letting him close the bar himself. His room was a scant few feet away from hers and that night she slept very restlessly, unable to snag more than a couple hours the whole night.
There were four more children to find homes for, including Denzel. Tifa did more interviewing and touring houses that day, and a couple from all the way north on the North Continent came to adopt. By the end of the night there was only Denzel left, and Tifa wondered why he hadn't been shown any interest in. It troubled her, but she sent out more information to several houses in Midgar before turning in for the night. The next day she got a good response, and interviewed all of the families interested in taking Denzel in. She introduced Denzel to some of them, and the boy seemed sullen and unwilling. He wouldn't speak to any of the families, and finally Tifa had to talk to him in private.
"Denzel… what is wrong with you today? I sent out all that information last night to try to get you a good family today, but you act like you don't want a good home. What's going on?" she asked him gently. Denzel toed the ground before speaking.
"I don't want their good homes. I already have a good home. I want to live with you, Tifa. I want to be adopted by you and call you my mom and you call me your son. I don't want to go away!" he exclaimed, surprising Tifa to the bottoms of her feet. She certainly hadn't expected this to happen. Why would Denzel want to stay with a wreck like her?
"But Denzel… look at me. I'm such a wreck… I can hardly keep my head above water these days. How can I support and raise you when I cannot even take much care of myself?" she asked, her eyes sad. He just shook his head.
"You're doing just fine, even though your inside hurts so bad. I love you Tifa, and I want you to raise me. You're such a good person who always tries to help others even when they only hate you in return. I want to learn from you and hopefully be like you one day," he told her, causing the young woman to choke up with tears. She engulfed him in a huge hug.
"Oh Denzel… you don't know how bad I've needed to hear that lately. You've just inspired me so much," she said emotionally. Denzel got teary too, hearing her words. She let go of him and looked him square in the eye. "Okay, then, you can live with me as my adopted son. But I have to tell you a secret that I'm going to tell everyone else soon… I'm going to move. I have to get away from Cloud… being around him hurts too much. You have seen this… I need to move on from this pain and put him behind me, and I can't do it with him constantly around me. Would you be willing to move away from Marlene and everyone else?" she asked him, holding her breath without knowing it.
Denzel looked thoughtful, and surprised, and finally responded. "Okay… sure. I'll move with you. Just one question: Where are we moving to?" Tifa gave a soft giggle, something he hadn't heard in a very long time.
"Costa del Sol. I've already talked with a real estate lady there and she tells me she has the perfect house for me… it has two bedrooms in it and plenty of space for a low cost. I have a good amount of gil saved up too," she told him. Denzel had heard about the sunshine town but had never seen it, and now he was excited. He'd miss Marlene but he knew she'd come visit him. They talked on it some more and finally Tifa called everyone together for a meeting. It was just Barret, Elmira, Marlene, Denzel and Cloud, but it was very important for them all to be there. Barret was watching Tifa closely, while Denzel sat on her lap, his face beaming.
"Don't tell me, you decided to adopt the kid?" Barret asked, wondering why it was so important for everyone to know at the same time. Tifa smirked.
"Well, that is one piece of news I wish to share. The other part is…" she started, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Denzel and I are moving to Costal del Sol tomorrow. I am going to leave the bar in your charge, Barret, and Cloud will still run the delivery service." Everyone stared at her for a moment before Barret responded first.
"What the #! Is going through that pretty head of yours, Tifa!#, you're just gonna up and leave like that?" he exploded, his gun arm raised threateningly. Tifa held her hands up in surrender.
"Calm down, Barret! Yes, I am. I spoke with a very dear friend who advised me that this would be the best way for me to find peace again. I am sure you have noticed that I haven't been quite myself lately, and to find myself again I have to get away from this place. It hurts too bad… I must leave before I go crazy," she explained, her voice quiet. Barret couldn't argue with that, though he was really angry at whatever was driving her away. He had a feeling it had something to do with spikey ass Cloud, he was such an idiot. He didn't pry, however.
"The kid agrees to this? What 'bout Marlene? Y'all will miss her!" he stated. Tifa nodded.
"Yes, but she is welcome to come visit us, as all of you are. We will visit from time to time too," she told him. They talked on it some more, ironing out all the minor details, then everyone went to sleep. Tifa and Denzel had a long day tomorrow, so they were ready to get to bed.
The morning came almost too soon for Tifa's liking, but she had to be up early so they could pack up their stuff and get it shipped to the town before they headed off on chocobo. Once these things were complete, they turned to tell their friends goodbye and the bar as well. They hugged everyone tightly, even Cloud. He looked slightly confused and as if he wanted to say something, but no words passed his lips. It was better that way, Tifa figured. She didn't want to linger on any last words for weeks and weeks. And so Tifa and her new son left their old life behind them and headed for an entirely new place, never looking back. It would hurt too much.