WHOOP BITCHES!!
I have returned with yet another chapter of TSaM.
Well you know I'd never leave seeing as how I got so many reviews for my last chapter *eyes downcast* that's a little hindering that nobody review me on chapter 3 but hey! What can you do?
BUT!
I got like seven more alerters so I'll count my blessings!
Ooh Shout Outs To My New Favoriters!!
Ms. Lina Ben: Nice namebtw. Thanks for the alert; I am dedicating this one to you!
*Waits for new song to start on IHOME*
Listening To: "Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey. No lie you guys she just said she was gonna wrap her thighs around some respectable man's waist!
….On a Serious Note:
Chapter Rating: Teen (Well it seems teen tome but I guess you could think of it as Mature... there are SOME questionable parts.)
Chapter Title: Scourgify My Mind Baby
And the pervertedness persists:
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"Can you show me some secrets?"
Harry eagerly waited for Rowena to Poof him some other sexy secrets.
However to his disdain, Rowena was too occupied with her breasts to have heard what the young wizard had asked. She kept on seizing them in her hands and pushing them up, as though it were scientifically possible for her to have anymore cleavage in that tight-fitting dress.
"Founder of Ravenclaw, more like the Leader of the Slutty Slytherins," Harry thought with a dark chuckle.
Her hands instantly fell to her sides and balled into tiny fists.
"Hey! I heard that you bloody arsehole!" shouted Rowena, having instantly snapped back to full attention. "Ew, that doesn't sound very insulting, sounds more like some type of disgusting menstrual mishap. Oi! I shouldn't have said either of that!"
Harry shuddered. He tried unsuccessfully to mentally remove "bloody arsehole" from his list of tell-offs.
"What the bloody---"Harry stopped mid-yell, "What exactly do you mean 'heard that'?"
Rowena absentmindedly began to tug at a strand of her long, glossy tresses. She quickly diverted eye contact with Harry.
"Well, um, you see I sort of can read your mind."
One look at Harry's face sent her into pure hysteria.
The little woman cried, "Well it wouldn't be natural if I couldn't!"
"Oh yes, of course it is natural that you can read my mind, "Harry shouted, sarcasm present in his voice.
Harry continued to stare at Rowena as though she had just grown a third breast, well if there was any room for it to grow.
"Oh Harry," she cooed," All owners of the Marauder's Journal are magically bound to their Journal a.k.a. me as soon as their name is written on the cover." She knocked on the cover of the journal where the words "Harry Potter" were elegantly inscribed, as though she was insuring the strength of their bind.
Harry's face fell, he felt as though he were tricked, fooled, and the butt of one of the twin's pranks.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, uh you see," she stammered, she was patting her hands against her lightly clothed thigh in an erratic rhythm, "people usually shut me after I inform them that a loose and promiscuous Ravenclaw would have to bind with you in order to be able to use the journal," she finished with a hint of sadness in her voice.
Guilt washed over Harry when he saw how sad she became, he didn't always have to comment about her slovenly ways.
"The reason I have to read your mind is so I will only show you things that pertain to you, like the girl I showed you I knew she was one of your friends, that's why I showed you her. There are so many people at Hogwarts, including it's past students, that have journals! It's easier to narrow the search."
"Well, that's fine, just please try not to comment on my thoughts okay?" Harry slowly began picking up his other books, the journal was great and all but he would surely kill himself if he didn't get to read Broom Talk.
Rowena brightened up, "You mean you're okay with it?"
"Of course, I mean it'll take some getting used to but I'll be fine. We gotta get out of here though, I have to meet up with someone at 9:00 and you need to be put inside my dorm." Harry informed her as he made his way out of the Restricted Section.
She clapped her hands in delirium and let out a giggle.
"Oh! More Teenage Boys!"
Harry could have sworn he saw a predator-like glint in Rowena's eyes.
She licked her lips, "Delicious."
Harry broke into a run as he headed to the common room, "The faster to Draco the better."
Rowena could have sworn she saw a predator-like glint in Harry's eyes. She cowered deep inside of the journal.
Right before Harry went onto the moving stairs he was stopped by the Head of the Snakes, Professor Severus Snape.
Snape began to click his tongue in a disapproving fashion.
"Mr. Potter, I hope that you have managed to keep yourself out of tight little holes tonight. Hmm, judging by your oaf-like running I assume you haven't. I suggest you scurry your swee--- I mean off to bed Potter!" Snape roared at the young wizard. He abruptly turned away from Harry and stormed off in the opposite direction.
Harry was slightly amused but still somewhat frightened. He felt some shuffling inside of his journal. Rowena's head shortly appeared on the side.
"I believe that is what muggles would call a 'Punk-Ass Bitch'," her eyes followed the sound of fast walking and the swish of a cloak.
"A Punk-Assed Bitch indeed," Harry noted. Everyone was acting really weird today.
Well everyone aside from Seamus, you could always count on Seamus' "I'm going to rape you while you're sleeping" demeanor.
"Hey Rowena how did Fred and George get used to you reading their minds?"
"It was actually the other way around I never got used to me reading theirs. They have some pretty dirty and mischievous thoughts those boys. It's rather unsettling, no matter how cute they are. So I asked them to return me. In all my centuries of life that has never happened before." She answered with wide eyes.
Harry let out a slightly uncomfortable laugh. The twins were very odd.
After Harry had reached his common room he jogged up the steps to the boy's dormitory, hoping to meet up with Ron and tell him about everything.
Although what met him in his dormitory was none other than the ever-aroused Seamus Finnigan himself lying on his bed in what looked to be a thong.
"Oh, hello Seamus," Harry greeted in a mock I'm-not-supremely-uncomfortable-with-your-attire voice.
He cautiously approached his bed and slowly placed his journal on top of it then patted Rowena/the journal comfortingly.
He quickly dug through his trunk in search of his invisibility cloak.
Right before Harry left his dormitory he heard an astonished, "What an interesting book" accompanied with a loud gasp and of course the ever so lewd kiss sound.
"Oh Merlin."
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With the invisibility cloak covering his body, he wandered aimlessly throughout the castle.
"Remember what Neville had said, you must want something and then the door will appear." He thought as he walked down along the narrow corridor.
He stopped in front of a familiar looking broom closet.
"To Shag a Malfoy," Harry spoke clearly into the wall.
The shape of the closet began to change rapidly into that of a large door that was covered in large, black, heavy-looking chains.
Click!
The lock of the door popped open.
He slowly pushed at the enormous doors; they were surprisingly light underneath Harry's hands.
Harry instantly became delirious when his emerald eyes cast upon the beauty of Draco Malfoy.
Draco silently greeted him with a smirk that should be "banned in every single place on Earth, wizarding or muggle." For it was much too powerful for even the destroyer of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
"It's soo sexy it's illegal," Harry thought, while he leered at the platinum haired boy.
"Be good Harry Potter," chastised Rowena in a motherly tone,"Whoopsy, did I just blatantly disregard telling you that I can get in your head too! "
Harry's jaw mentally hit the floor, that little bit---
"What? No hello Potter? You can't just come in her, mentally undress me with your eyes and not even greet me!" Draco exclaimed in a melodramatic tone.
Harry walked over to the little couch Draco was seated at; he seemed to be deeply concentrating on preparing tea for the two. "Uh, hi?"
Harry took that as a great time to check out Draco, his legs were elegantly spread out as though they were saying you will be The-Boy-Who-Spoke-In-Tongues after I have shagged you senselessly.
Harry also noticed that there was a rather large and comfortable looking bed in the far corner of the room.
"We'll put that to good use later," Harry muttered.
"What was that Potter?"
"Nothing."
Harry's eyes glazed over when he saw the way Draco was drinking his tea.
With such precision and concentration it made a young teenager wonder…
"Tasty," Harry commented as he watched Draco take a long sip of the tea,
Harry suddenly felt ashamed of himself, he reminded himself of the famously-perverted wizarding coach who touched teenage boys.
"Oh excuse me," Draco spoke as he let out a rather tantalizing breath, "Would you like some?"
After watching Draco's little display he would have agreed to anything Draco asked of him, even if it was to wank off to a "Voldemort is the sex" poster.
Merlin, how he hated those bloody posters. They just weren't right.
"S-Sure."
For if the tea was anything like Draco it would be Too Hot to Handle. He would need his full concentration.
But it was much too hard to concentrate when Draco was licking his lips like that.
"Gods, it tastes soo good." Draco stated while slowly licked his lips.
Harry felt himself slowly pitch a tent. "Best Camping Trip Ever," Harry thought.
"Don't you think Harry? Pity, you haven't even tasted yours," Draco noted with displeasure in his voice.
Harry made quick use of his dirty mouth and downed his tea so quickly he wasn't even able to taste it. He would not have been surprised if he had just drunk a love potion. After all, Draco did always receive exemplary marks in potions.
A couple of minutes passed between the two young wizards without a single word being spoken.
"So Harry do you fantasize about me?"
Harry immediately choked on air. "What?! That's ridiculous why I would ever---YES, for the past couple of months, actually that's what I usually dream about."
Harry suddenly became very aware of what he had just drank.
Veritaserum.
A small, wicked smile crept upon Draco's face like he had just read Harry's mind.
"Dreams?"
Harry took a deep trembling breath.
"Yes, in these dreams you sometimes take on different personas or we are in different situations. They always end up the same though; you are always taking me in some kind of dominant position."
Draco's face suddenly became extremely eager he motioned with his hands for Harry to continue.
"Just about a week ago, I had this dream where you were the brutal new quidditch coach who was here to whip me or even bend me into shape. You had tricks too they ranged from swallowing "snitches" whole to riding "brooms" for long grueling hours. And by brooms I mean wankers and by wankers I mean shafts and by shafts I mean your deliciously large cock." Harry paused when he noticed Draco bite his tongue (in distaste?).
"But, it was just a dream. Just an average dream about me shagging you."
Draco began to cross and uncross his legs.
Well Potter I knew you had become very taken with me these past couple of months seeing as how I couldn't even eat a proper meal without hearing your incessant moaning on the other side of the hall." Draco rolled his eyes when he saw Harry blush at the last statement.
"I mean for god sake's you're worse than that nympho Irish bloke!" Draco chuckled at himself, believing he'd mastered humor.
"Which is why I placed Firewhiskey in your cup."
Harry's eyes jumped off his face and fell on the floor.
"WHAT?! That's a lie!"
"The-Boy-Who-Lived, yeah right more like The-Boy-Who-Is-Easily-Pissed." Draco whispered loud enough for Harry to hear his rude remark.
The pissed remark made Harry remember the only other time he had ever had Firewhiskey.
That was at the Twin's birthday party, they had coined that named for him too.
Yup, one cup of Firewhiskey and Harry would reveal his darkest secrets.
"Potter if you don't believe me why don't you take a whiff of the cup then genius. You don't need Mudblood to help you figure this one out."
The smell of the cup confirmed it all.
It reminded him exactly of the party now.
And if that still didn't confirm it Harry's fit full of hiccups sure did.
Harry looked up at Draco's face, from the looks of it it seemed as though Draco had himself a cup too. His face held the expression of an openly sexual deviant with dialated eyes.
Harry suddenly became alarmed (aroused?) when Draco conjured his teacup into the Nimbus 3000.
"Uh*hiccup* Draco*hiccup* I have*hiccup* to go*hiccup* talk to *hiccup*my *hiccup*journal."
As soon as Harry stood up to leave the room Draco quickly ran over to the door and blocked his exit.
Draco's eyes were glazed over in a mixture of a drunk and madman.
"Who's Draco? I am Mr. Crotch and in order for you, my very skilled broom handler to leave this room you must do one thing."
Harry protectively covered his privates with his invisibility cloak.
It looked quite odd, seeing as how his entire crotch had disappeared from view.
He slowly walked over to Draco.
Draco---Mr. Crotch seemed unfazed by Harry's attempt at defending his two most prized snitches.
"Since I will not be going to Azkaban for the touching of underage wizards for the seventh time all I would like is for you," Crotch reached down and patted (smacked?) Harry on the face, "to kiss my broom."
Draco bent down and slowly pulled out his….
Nimbus 3000.
Even though Draco had made it obvious that Harry was to kiss the literal broom, Harry was still torn between wanting to pucker up to the actual Nimbus or the little Draco---Crotch.
Deep down, well okay not too deep down, he knew which stick he really wanted to kiss.
Crotch suddenly became impatient with Harry's indecision.
"Oh, don't be daft Potter; kiss the Nimbus!"
Harry quickly bent down towards the Nimbus, but was quickly berated by Draco for not being seductive enough and to slow down.
"Enjoy it! Merlin knows I will."
Harry chuckled with a dirty though in mind,"Foreplay, more like Whoreplay."
Harry made a big show of kissing the broom, he even used his tongue!
He noted the intake of Draco's breath when he did that.
After Harry had finished with his "shaft" he looked up at Draco.
Draco's mouth was agape as though Luscius Malfoy had finally told him the meaning of a pornographic videotape, which his parents avidly film together.
Draco wordlessly stepped out of the way for Harry to pass.
Right before Harry passed by he decided to put his headache aside and do something bold. He reached down with a hand and grabbed Draco's crotch; there was no doubt a large erection in Harry's hand.
"Just checking," he whispered into Draco's ear.
As soon as he left the room he was immediately scolded by Rowena.
"What?! I was trying to be subtle."
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WHOO HOO! DONE FINALLY!
I truly think that's my funniest one so far!
Listen I noticed no one message me a character they wanted in the journal they wanted to reveal a secret so I'm probably going to have the next chapter be only secrets so you can see how great they are! I am very tired so I'm going to put this up the off to bed!
PLEASE REVIEW ME!