"Hey!" I hear loudly at my door.
Shit. It's Mark. Of course I slept too late. I never sleep too late. But I am on vacation, and this is the first time in a long time that I don't have to get up for horses. A bit of guilt washes over me. I wanted to come here, but at the same time, my friend is at home. My friend is taking care of my horses. But the thing is, I should be there. I should be there because she probably won't be there much longer. She is dying. And I should be there.
I missed it. I come back to reality, and I realize that I missed it. Mark was already up, and at my door. I wonder if he got his pleasant surprise. By the way it was sounding, the answer could very well be yes. I wanted to be there to see the look on his face. It looks like this time, I didn't.
"Go away!" I moan as I roll over and cover my head.
"I hope you're dressed." He says as he walks in.
"Naked." I say frankly from under the covers.
"Real fucking nice, Mer." Mark says as he pulls the covers off of me.
"What?" I ask as I look up, knowing very well just what he is talking about.
"I'm talking about whatever the fuck it was that you did to me!" He shouted as he shoved me.
"I didn't do shit." I tell him as I reach for the blankets.
"Oh, so that is why every part of my body is on fucking fire!" He yelled as he revealed his red eyes. "Or why it feels like someone ran a chainsaw in my throat. What the fuck was it, Mer?"
"You shouldn't have screwed with me, Mark." I tell him frankly as I look up.
"What was it?" He asks loudly. "I need to know how to get rid of it."
"Chili peppers." I finally admit with a big smile on my face.
"You are evil, Mer. I would be proud. What we did... You didn't suffer." He said as he turned as walked away.
"Whatever, Mark. I could have broken my leg." I yell at him out the door.
"But you didn't." He growled as he walked away.
I rolled my eyes. Maybe it was harsh, but it felt good. He had to know that he couldn't treat me like that and get rid of it. I start at the ceiling for awhile. I really don't want to get up. I don't have a reason to get up. It's stupid. Really stupid. Being here, stupid. I came for Mark. And he was treating me like shit. I wish I had just stayed home.
I pull my body out of bed. I know everyone has to be up by now. My aunt took the day off of work, and we were supposed to do something. But what was there to do in the middle of no where. As I come down the stairs, I see that my suspicions are right. Everyone is up and drinking coffee in the kitchen.
As I walk in, they look at me. Disgust. I can see it in their eyes. Apparently the little bitch has told everyone what I did to him. I can't believe it. I would never tell. It's like fight club. And here he went and whined to everyone.
"I cannot believe you did that, Meredith." My grandma says with disappointment.
"Did what?" I ask innocently as I stand there.
"Peppers? That was a little far, don't you think?" My grandpa spits as I look at him.
"Whatever. I can't believe you whine about it." I say to Mark as I roll my eyes.
"He had to, Meredith. He was on fire. He had no idea how to stop it. For god's sake, he could have went blind!" She shouts at me.
"Whatever." I said as she grab a bottle of water and walk outside.
I cannot get along with these people. I am nothing like them. I am dark. I can't sit in there and talk about the weather. I'm not that person. I need to be alone. I can't take them seriously when they are always happy and optimistic. I sit in the adirondack chair and lay my head back.
"That was fucking cruel." Mark says as he walks up and smacks me in the back of the head.
"Well, if you are expecting an I'm sorry... You've lost your mind." I tell him frankly.
"No. I'm not. I know you would never stoop down and apologize." Mark admits as he looks up at me.
"Good." I mutter, eyes closed.
"I'm sorry, though. I shouldn't have done it. Last night. It wasn't right." Mark says frankly.
"You're right it wasn't." I told him with a sigh.
"But you have to admit it, it was funny as hell." Mark said as he started laughing. "If you had seen yourself..."
"It was funny. But not as funny as your balls being on fire this morning." I laugh as I look at him.
"I had no idea. It took a minute, and then all of the sudden, I'm on fire." Mark says frankly. "Fuck... It was hell."
"I can only imagine." I laugh loudly.
"Well, I was burning on the inside, and the outside. So yeah, thanks for that." He says sarcastically.
"Not a problem. Anytime." I say with a smile.
I sit there silently. I just have a looming feeling. It's something that follows me everywhere. I know that there are happy people out there, but I want to know just where these happy people are. No I don't. I know where they are. They are in the kitchen. All bubbly and talking about how great life was. Like they knew anything else.
"What is wrong with you?" Mark asks as he looks up. "You are never happy."
"No. I'm not. And I don't want to talk about it." I say as I get up and walk away. And I don't. I don't want to talk about it.
--
It was the last day of vacation. I was eager to get home, but at the same time, I was didn't want to. It had been a somewhat fun week. Maybe it was fun because it was different than the grind that I was used to. And no, I am not talking about bumping and grinding. I am not talking about that grinding where my pelvis is pressed deep against his. Not the grinning where cock is deep in my core, causing me the greatest pleasure ever. No, I am talking about school and responsibility. That is the grind I wish not to return to.
Mark and Derek had been nicer. Actually, I had the sinking feeling that they were treating me like a girl. They were giving me that unfair advantage. I didn't like that. I didn't like the whole be nice to her because she is a girl and will break. That is not me. Not that I am one of the guys, either. I am something different. I guess I am a hardened girl.
I'm a girl who loves the idea of men. I like guys. I like they way they look. I like they way they smell. I love the penis. But I am not the type of girl that hangs out with girls and tells secrets. I am me. Alone. I like alone. Or maybe it is that alone is safe. I have a hard time stepping out of my safe place. I don't like being vulnerable.
Derek was around. The whole week, he would drop in an out. What I could get from him was that he was smart. Really smart. And fun. And incredibly good looking. But that was it. He wasn't a guy I would want. In fact, I don't want a guy. They bring you done. I just want sex. Sex when I want, where I want. Derek seemed like an alright guy. He was a guy that like girls. He liked everything about him. He liked to move from girl to girl. I wasn't sure if he was a heartbreaker. I didn't care. Like I said, I am not interested in him. Too immature. And way too cocky for his own good.
"So..." Mark trails as he looks over at me.
The family was out doing things. Something about an old church, or sight seeing. Either way, it was not something I wanted to do. So I opted to stay. They used to try and get me to join in, but a few years ago, they realized their efforts were fruitless and a waste of time. So now, it was just do what you want, it's not like you are pleasant anyhow.
"Derek is on his way." He tells me as he looks over.
"And where are the rest of the flying monkeys?" I ask as I throw the ball for my aunt's dog.
"Funny." Mark snaps. "They aren't around." He said with a shrug. "Do you want to walk out to the creek? Max will probably want to swim."
"You mean the creek that I almost killed myself in? Yeah... Whatever." I groan as I stand up.
It is really nice out here. I like the wide open space. It's nice to just take in the fresh air and breathe. I could see myself somewhere like this. I don't even know where I will end up. I have no path. Med school is on the list, but I'm just not feeling much of anything at the moment. I look over at Mark. When we are alone, it feels good.
"So..." He starts. It seems like all of his important conversations start with so. "Your mom is never around?"
"Never has been." I state simply.
"And your dad is just gone?" He asks as he looks over.
"Yeah. He just left. Probably because of my mom. But I don't know. I don't care, you know. I'm better off without them both. And if grandma and grandpa choose to live in denial, whatever. I just don't give a shit." I say frankly.
"Yeah, I get that. They seem to think everything is great. Grandma more than grandpa." He points out.
"They're my grandma and grandpa... Not yours." I tell him as I look over.
I hurt his feelings. I can see it. He throws the ball into the creek and Max runs in to get it. I feel bad, but I don't regret it. They are mine. They have always been mine. I have aligned myself perfectly into the family. I have my place, and everyone knows theirs. I hate the fun and joy of family, but I still want to be right in the middle of it. I'm the black sheep in the white herd. They all circle around me, all having some sort of need to be around me. And now Mark has come in. I like him. I really like him, but he isn't going to just march in the circle. The funny thing is, I'm worried about him pushing me out of the way, and he would be more than happy just to watch from the sidelines and feel wanted.
We walk back in near silence. A decent person would apologize to him, but unfortunately, I am not decent. I'm far from it. Besides, in a while, he will forget I ever said it. As we walk up to the house, I see Derek leaning against his car. My god, I have never seen anything sexier in my life. The man is walking sex. So confident, his dark curls sitting perfectly on top of his head. Jeans hanging on his hips. Wearing a tee shirt that is the perfect shade of blue. Even his crooked nose is sexy. His body is perfect to me. Perfect size, perfect tone. As he leans, I can feel myself getting wet. I can feel the hardness of his chest under my fingers. No. You cannot do that. He is a rat bastard. He is never getting it.
"Hey." Mark says as we walk up.
"Hey." Derek says with a smirk. "Hey, troll." He says to me. Why, I have no idea. I do not even closely resemble a troll. The attitude, it has to be the attitude.
"Fuck you." I mutter as we walk up.
"You have a rotten mouth." Derek says as he shakes his head.
"Yeah, well you have a rotten smell. Probably your cock rotting from lack of use." I laugh as I look down.
"Believe me, baby, I don't have that problem." He says with a wink.
"Don't call me baby. And lack of use... I guess you don't have that problem, seeing as your right had is slightly bigger and more muscled. Use it a lot, huh?" I ask as I look at it. "Hairy palms?"
"Hey, I'm not the one that has a closet full of "toys"" He jokes with a laugh.
"Whatever you have to do to scratch the itch." I say with a smile.
"Wait... You-" He starts as he looks at me in shock.
"Don't you wish you knew?" I asked as I walked away from him.
I laugh. This is how it should be. I love to laugh and joke with the guys. For a second, I start to melt and act happy. It happens in short spurts. As I look at them both, I know I am in for more trouble. But this time, I think they know better than to screw with me. But I hope they do, because revenge is too fun.
"So I guess once Claire and Jack get back I guess we are doing fireworks." Mark tells me as we all sit down in the chairs in the yard.
"Oh joyous." I muttered as I look off.
"Do you not know how to have fun? Is that your problem?" Mark asked as he looked up at me.
"No. I don't have fun." I tell him frankly. "Fun is stupid. I don't like it."
"Eh... I don't believe that. You have to have fun. Didn't you have fun when you put tacks in my shoes?" He asked me frankly.
"No. That was revenge. Warranted revenge. I think fun is different." I tell him with a sigh.
"Hey, I need to go to uncle Jeff's to pick up the fireworks." Mark says with a nod. "Take the truck?"
"Get the keys." Derek said with a smile. "You can have fun, Mer. Let's go, Mark." Derek says with a nod.
"This will be fun." Mark says with a nod as he runs through the house and back out, keys in hand.
"Hell yes." Derek agrees as he grabs my hand and they drag me to the barn.
Marks throws open the big barn doors. I look in shock. It's a beat up old farm truck. I don't see how riding in a truck can be any bit of fun. That is until Derek drags me to the back and jumps in. He quickly grabs my hand and pulls me in. Apparently I am in a hick mobile. I don't know how else to describe it. There is a sofa in the back. Yes, a sofa. I look at it with wide-eyes as we sit down and Mark fires the truck up.
I've been trail riding on horses before. But I have never been trail riding on a truck. At first, we are just flying through the field. I had to admit, it is a little crazy. It is a little fun. Then I hear Mark yell that he is going to go the back way. That is when is starts to get crazy. I have never gone so fast through anything it my life. Hills, bumps, mud. I had mud flying up in my face. Mark hits a huge hill and the truck, the sofa, and Derek and I go flying up.
"Holy shit!" I yell in a panic. Derek quickly wraps his arms around me and brings us back down.
It feels good. I have to admit that it feels good to have him holding me tightly. I would never tell him that. I'm odd. And I have to protect myself from being hurt. I quickly shoot Derek a glare and he releases his grip on me. I wish I hadn't done it, but it is pretty much an automatic reaction.
We travel a few properties over, via the trails. Mark and Derek quickly load up boxes and boxes of fireworks and jump back into the truck. I firmly sit my ass down on the sofa and get ready for the ride of my life. Derek looked over at me with raised brows as Mark takes off.
"I see he doesn't let you drive." I laugh as Mark goes through the gears.
"Someone has to protect you." Derek says with a wink.
"I don't need protection." I tell him with a nod. "Oh crap!" I scream as I grab onto him, keeping myself in the truck.
"I see that." He replies as he looks down at my hand. "Oh fuck!" Derek shouts as two boxes of fireworks fall out. "Mark, they fell out." Derek yells.
Mark slows the truck down and Derek quickly runs off to get the fireworks. I watch as he gallantly retrieves the missing boxes and makes a mad dash back to the truck. He throws the boxes in, and just as he goes to get in, Mark pulls forward quickly.
"Asshole!" Derek yells loudly.
"Keep going!" I yell as I begin to laugh. Derek picks up his pace and gets closer.
"Help me, Mer... Help me." He yells as he sticks out his hand.
I let out a loud sigh as I lean slightly towards him and grab his hand. My eyes get wide as soon as I realize that I am air born. Either Mark surged forward quickly, or that asshole Derek has pulled me out. I feel my body fall with a hard thud. As I open my eyes, I am looking into the entrancing eyes of Derek Shepherd.
"You ass!" I yell as I sit up on his chest. I am straddled across his broad muscular chest. Just the place I want to be. I struggle to not grind my pussy into him. God knows I want to. God knows that I could have a screaming orgasm at any second. "Ass!" I seethe as I punch him in the shoulder.
"Hey!" He shouted as he attempts to get into the fetal position to protect himself.
"Why did you have to go and do that?" I shout as I look into his eyes.
"I didn't know that jack-off would do that." Derek says quickly.
"Oh my god! He left!" I say loudly as I look around. I quickly jump up of of him.
"Hey... We were just having a good time!" Derek jokes as he pulls himself to his feet.
"Ass!" I spit as I shove him back to the ground. "He's never coming back, is he?" I whine pathetically as I look around.
"He'll come back. He's just fucking with us." Derek grumbles as he stands back on his feet.
"Is this some sort of plan or something?" I growl as I look into his eyes.
"Oh yes, I really want to be stuck with a troll." Derek laughs as he starts walking.
"First of all, I am not a troll. And secondly, where are you going?" I ask quickly as I watch him walk.
"Okay, yes, you are a troll. And next I am walking back. I am walking back because who knows how long he will leave us out here." He says as he looks back. "Are you coming?"
"I don't want to walk with you." I tell him as I stick my nose in the air.
"Fine... Have it your way. It gets dark soon. Oh, and there is a creek on the way. I know how you love those..." He laughs loudly. I quickly jog up. I had been far too busy looking into Derek's blue eyes to have paid attention to the way home. I am good at directions, when I actually pay attention. If he left me, it would be forever before I found my way.
"What are you doing?" He asks me as I jog up.
"Well, I- Shut up!" I spit quickly.
"You are something else." Derek mutters as he shakes his head.
We walk awhile. Luckily I am in pretty decent physical shape. I don't know how long we have to walk, or how long we had been walking, but I was grateful that someone was with me this time. I draw in a sigh as I look at him. Oh why do I have to be me?
I look over at the man. The guy. The boy as I will call him. His ass. Oh my god, his ass. I want to bite it. I like to bite. Teeth are for biting and tongues are for licking and I want to do both. I take a breath in as I think about him thrusting that huge cock deep inside my core. I bet that ass is powerful when he thrusts into me like a wild animal. I can imagine his chest over me as he pounds me. Claw marks. I would claw him up like an animal in heat. And that mouth. I want his mouth all over me. I moan loudly.
"What was that?" Derek asks as he looks over at me.
"What was what?" I snap as I look over at him.
"You moaned." He laughs as he looks at me.
"I did not!" I yells as I look over at him.
"You did moan. It was a satisfied moan." He points out with a laugh.
"I was thinking about chocolate." I lie quickly.
"Sure you were." He chuckles as he looks at me.
"I was." I tell him quickly. And now I am wet. I swear my juices are running down my leg, and filling my shoe. It now slushes. Okay, probably dramatic. But you get the picture My body is ready. And oh my are we actually alone? In the woods...
"Why are you the way you are?" He asks me. "People are not naturally that mean."
"First of all, I don't know you. So this is- It has nothing to do with you. And secondly, some people are just naturally mean." I grumble. All of wetness, I may as well go diddle myself. Shit, it is drying up. I almost forgot he is an ass.
"You really like this first of all and second of all stuff, don't you?" He asks with a chuckle. "So... You contradicted yourself. So are you naturally mean? Or conditioned to be mean?"
"How about none of your damn business." I tell him with a nod. Just then, I hear a loud beep. I jump out of the path of the truck coming from behind.
"You fucker." Derek spits to Mark who slams on the brakes.
"Have fun?" Mark asks Derek with a smirk.
"Loads." Derek growls as he looks at me an then at Mark.
"Hey, it was no pleasure cruise for me either!" I tell him as I jump into the truck.
iAnd that is how it went. That was what my first Derek Shepherd experience was like. He was arrogant. Annoying. Childish. Insanely hot. But most of all, he was nothing that I would have been remotely interested in. I was not looking. I didn't want to look. I had no interest. I wouldn't see him for awhile, and I didn't care. He wasn't someone that I went home and thought about all day long. Maybe just during he ride home in the car. That was the only time. The ride with the people that smoked like chimneys and floated down the river of denial. Yeah, Derek Shepherd... I couldn't give two shits about him./i
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