A year went by. I didn't think about Derek. See that is how it goes. Every time I see Mark and he goes home, or I go home, we talk for awhile, and then go back to our normal lives and lose contact. Derek Shepherd was not on my mind. Maybe I would see someone pass by that looked like him, but I never spontaneously thought about him. Never.
"So when is Aunt Claire going to be in town?" I ask my grandma quickly. Not that I care. Okay, maybe a little. I can't wait to see Mark. I can't wait for my biyearly dose of immaturity.
"Friday." Grandma says happily. "Will you be over?" She questions.
"Uh... Yeah. Maybe. I don't know." I say nonchalantly.
"Well, we would love it if you could make it over. They should be in around five. Oh yeah, we are going to have an extra this year." Grandma mutters into the phone like it is nothing.
"An extra. What do you mean, and extra?" I ask quickly. Last time she said that, I got Mark.
"Oh... Well you remember that nice boy. What was his name? Oh yeah, Derek. Derek, he is coming." Grandma tells be as she remembers.
"Derek? Derek! Why is he coming?" I snap quickly. Great. Now he is coming. Fucking great. As if they didn't torture me enough when I was up there. Now they will come here and do it. Not this time. No way! I am not putting up with this. They are going down.
"I guess his sister moved out of state, and his mother is going there. Either way, he is coming for the holidays." Grandma explains.
"Doesn't he have his own family? Why can't he go with his mom? He doesn't need to come here!" I spit quickly.
"Well, Meredith... If you want to know, you can ask him on Friday." Grandma says frankly. Attitude. Yep, I sense that from her. And that only makes me strike back.
"Well maybe I will. Maybe I will ask him because he has no reason to be coming here and moving in on- Never mind!" I say quickly.
"Are you in one of your moods?" Grandma asks me, knowing me all too well.
"I am fine. I don't have a problem. Do you have a problem?" I snap loudly.
"I will see you Friday, Meredith. Goodbye." Grandma says quickly.
"Yeah." I mutter as I hang up the phone.
The week went quickly. I kept myself busy doing the same things that I always do. My life never changes. It never changes. I don't know if I mind it or not. Nonetheless, I am still the same girl. The girl with issues. The girl who cannot play well with others. The girl who has emotional problems. I am her. And I shall never change.
I look up at my clock. I should pack my bag. I should go over there. I should do it. But part of me doesn't want to. God forbid I have some fun. I quickly pack some jeans and shirts along with my other stuff into a small bag. I look at my bras and panties. I grab for the good stuff. Why, I do not know. I am not trying to impress anyone.
Walking into that house is a joke. It really is a joke. I swear, Santa and his elves ate everything Christmas, chewed it up, swallowed, retched, re-ate it, and then puked it into a nice mess in this house. Seriously. If there were any thing else holiday related packed into this house, the roof would blow. It makes you sick. Holiday hand towels, rugs, blankets, statues, plates, cups anything and everything. I sea of sickening red and green.
"Hey... Long time." Aunt Claire says as I walk in. The dreaded hug is coming. It's close. Oh god! Here it is...
"Hey Aunt Claire." I say with a faint smile as I pull away from her.
"How have you been?" She asks me as she looks into my eyes.
"Good. Same stuff, you know?" I tell her frankly as we walk further into the house.
I see him. In our great room. The place where I have opened presents all my life. The place where I danced on the fireplace, by the mantle. There he is, the hottest of hotness in my great room. Dark hair, blue eyes. Hot. Sexy. Here.
"Hey." Mark says with a smile as he comes up and shoves me.
"Oh hey..." I say quickly as I look over, entranced by this man that never crossed my mind. Not until now. "So why is he here?"
"His mom left down. Couldn't leave him..." Mark tells me frankly.
"Why not?" I laugh as he look over.
"You are not nice." Mark chuckles.
"I never claimed to be." I say with a nod as I stand by the island countertop.
He's coming my way. I pretend I don't see him, but how can I not. Damn, there I go. Thinking about that cock again. I haven't had sex in so long I- I am not going to talk about it. Long. Too long. Way too long. And here he comes with his perfect hair and blue eyes. And of course he looks so hot in his indigo faded jeans and his red Hollister tee shirt. His chest. Oh god. I'm wet. Damn it Stop, Mer, stop!
"Oh hey." Derek says with a grin as he walked up.
"Yeah... Hey." I say with a smile.
"Don't hug her, she will kill you." Mark points out. Derek nods at me and smiles.
"Dinner..." Grandma says as she walks by with a roast in her hands.
"Yeah... We are supposed to help take that shit to the table. So... Get to work!" I tell Mark and Derek as I point.
I have a satisfied smile on my face as I walk over and sit down. I did not help. That is what boys are for. Two things. Sex and work. That is about it. Yep, boys suck. And they suck good. I can imagine they would suck good. And no, I am not talking about cocks. I am talking about me. They can suck me. Like I said... It's been too long.
"Thanks for the help... Derek and Mark." Grandma points out, noting that I did not help.
"I don't help." I say with a shrug. "If you are going to come here and mooch. You can help." I say frankly.
"Meredith!" My grandpa says in disgust. "You have to ignore her." He tells Derek.
"Everyone does..." I point out softly.
"So tonight..." Mark says quickly. "Bowling?" He asks as he looks at me.
"Bowling? Sure..." I say with a smirk as I look at the two. The beginning of the end.
--
Bowling. I have never done it. I know it's funny, but it's true. I am not into it, but it is so much better than sitting home with the family. I drive, of course. And Mark and Derek, they tease me. And get wild and crazy. It's all they know how to do. Tease me. I'm a good driver. I really am. But when they are in the car, I give them the ride of a lifetime.
"What size shoes?" The woman asks as she looks at me.
"Eight." I mutter as I look up. The clown feet next to me order some freakishly large shoe sizes. "So I have to wear these nasty things?" I ask with a sour face as we walk towards the lanes.
"Yeah, Mer. You have to wear those." Derek says quickly.
"But... Why can't I just wear my own shoes?" I ask as I looked down at the four inch boots I am wearing.
"Seriously. Seriously?" Derek asks with a chuckle.
"Mer... Just put the damn shoes on, okay?" Mark says as he pulls on his own shoes and sets the others aside.
"Damn... Fine." I grumble loudly as I pull my boots off.
"You've never done this before, have you?" Derek asks with a laugh.
"No." I say frankly. "Do you have a problem with that?" I growl.
"This is gong to be fun!" Mark laughs as we walk to the balls.
"I want a big ball." I say quickly as I look around. "Two big balls."
"Big ones, huh?" Derek chuckles. "I could probably help you out there."
"I said big ones, Derek! Not prunes." I yell loudly over the music, causing people to look.
"You are sick fucks." Mark says as he shakes his head.
"There are plenty of good balls here. But If you want to see some nicer ones..." Derek smirks.
"That one, Mer. Try that ball." Mark says as he points at one, trying to stop us.
"Too light." I say as I pick it up.
"Mer... You aren't very big. You can't lift a heavy ball. It's fine. Come on." Mark says as he pulls me away.
"You suck." I tell him with a smirk. "Who first?"
"Derek." Mark says with a nod.
I watch. I watch that fine ass stroll down the lane. Not only because I don't know how to play, but because I want to see that ass. The man is hot. The man has me wet. The man is walking sex. I watch the big ball roll down the lane in perfection, knocking every pin down.
"That is how you do it." He tells me with a wink. "Do you want help?"
"I don't need help." I snap loudly.
"Fine." Derek says with a shrug. "Have it your way."
It's not easy. Not even close. I go down the lane, too far. I hear them yelling for me to let the ball go. I panic and the ball jumps loudly down the lane, knocking a pin down. I smile as I look back at them. A pin. I actually knocked a pin down. One pin.
"That doesn't count. You were halfway down the lane." Mark says quickly.
"Ah... Just let her have it. She needs that point." Derek says quickly. "All the help she can get."
"Fuck you! And my ball is too light." I tell him. "Derek, I want your ball."
"Oh.. You can have my balls. Would you like to play with them?" He asks with a chuckle.
"Wouldn't you like me too!" I say quickly as I grab his ball and throw it, going down the gutter.
"You are twisting your wrist." Mark points out.
"I am not!" I say quickly. "It's the lane. It's crooked."
"Sure it is... Sure it is." Derek laughs as he rolls his eyes at me.
So apparently, I am the worlds worst bowler in the history of man. A seventeen. That was my score. People don't believe it, but It's true. Seventeen for the whole game. Without bumpers, of course. Second game I cleaned house on. A Forty-eight. Hell yeah, go me. The boys will never let me live it down. I am a bowling master. Or not.
"So... Do you think they are asleep?" Mark asks, referring to the family as he looked over at me. He gets the front seat. He always does.
"Maybe. Who cares? We'll just go to the basement." I say with a shrug.
"Good idea." He agrees. "We'll sneak in."
I drive the sort drive to the house. I turn the headlights off before I pull in the driveway. We quickly sneak up to the house, putting the key into the door and creaking it open. I slide my shoes off so they don't click on the slate floor. The boys follow my suit and we make it around the corner and down to the finished basement. I quickly turn on the t.v. and plop down.
"So now what?" Mark asks. Can't he just be happy doing nothing?
"Uh... Watch t.v." I mutter as I point. I sit there quietly and see Mark texting out of the corner of my eye.
"It's his girlfriend." Derek tells me. "She's needy as hell."
"That's stupid." I state quickly as I roll my eyes.
"What is stupid?" Mark asks as he looks up.
"That. Love. All of that. It's fucking stupid." I tell him quickly.
"Love isn't stupid." Mark defends as he looks at me.
"So love is stupid. Why is love stupid?" Derek asks me with curiosity.
"It's a cult." I state frankly.
"Love is a cult?" Mark asks as he laughs.
"It is. See it's a cult. It's the people in love cult. And I am not going to be a part of it. They want you in there. Their sole purpose in life is recruitment. They make you think it is so great. Oh, come be in love with us were everything is flowers and happiness. They are miserable. And it manifests into some freakish plan to bring more in. They want company in their suffering. They hate it, but they can't get out. Once you are in, you're in. You just need to find someone else to love. Not me. They can take their flowers and shove it up their ass! Me, I'm never doing that. No relationship. No love. Just fucking. It's all sex. A good hardcore fucking with no feelings. That is my idea of a good relationship!" I tell them frankly.
"You are deranged." Mark said as he shook his head.
"So you are saying, that you want sex. No strings. No feelings." Derek muttered as he looked at me.
"Exactly. Just sex. Hot sex." I tell him boldly.
"I can do that." Derek says with a nod.
"Can you?" I ask as I look up at him.
"I can. How much better does it get? No chick fucking around with my head. Just sex. Guys dream of this shit. I can do that." He tells me happily.
"Okay." I say with a smirk and a shrug.
"Okay?" He asks in shock.