I am back! I felt that I should update this, so I sat down for a solid 13 hours straight, writing like crazy and racking my brain for ideas. I'm tired now, and I'm gonna go to sleep.
--Enjoy!--
Naruto was at his parents' house, drinking tea.
"So, there's one thing I have to know. Why was I never told that you're my parents?"
"Assassins." Minato said with a sigh. "You were supposed to be told about us when you turned fifteen or became chunnin."
"That's good." Foxman said, suddenly appearing on Naruto's right shoulder. "Considering your reputation and your kill count in the Iwa-Konoha war, I'm guessing there'd be a lot of people who'd like to have killed the son of the Yellow flash."
"Bah!" Sarge said, appearing on Naruto's left shoulder. "The Commander had an equal amount of enemies inside Konoha! At least, if everyone had been told about his heritage, then they would've been able to protect him!"
"Sarge... I think Tou-san didn't count on the villagers not honoring his last wish." Naruto said with a sigh. "And if you're going to start arguing, go outside."
"We'll be quiet, Commander." Sarge said and sat down before conjuring up a Sex on the beach.
"I thought you said you only drink the blood of your enemies." Foxman said with disgust evident in his voice.
"I said 'I only drink the blood of my enemies, though I occasionally enjoy a Sex on the beach.'" Sarge said and took a sip of his drink.
Suddenly, there was a peck on the window. They looked and saw their nightmare literally reincarnated. A one eyed crow with stitches around its neck.
"The fiend has come back!" Foxman shouted, pointing at the raving bird that just pecked a hole in the window.
"Run for it!" Naruto shouted and took off faster than Minato and Kushina could react.
Kenpachi was in his squad building and had just kicked the snot out of Ikkaku, when Naruto burst through the door.
"The crazy crow is back!" he shouted making Kenpachi's eye widen.
"What?! Run!" Kenpachi shouted and took off right next to Naruto with the crow right behind them.
"I thought you were fearless, Kenpachi!" Naruto shouted as they ran through Seireitei.
"I am! But that crazy bird is too small for me to hit!" Kenpachi shouted as he ducked under a peck.
"Foxman! Sarge! You're small! Do something!"
"Yes sir!" Sarge said and unsheathed his combat knife. "Fried bird for supper!"
"Go back to the abyss!" Foxman shouted and unsheathed his sword before he and Sarge jumped onto the raving bird.
When the two little men got on the bird, Sarge stabbed it in the wing to slow it down while Foxman continuously hacked at its neck until the head was separated from the body again, making the bird plummet to the ground.
"Thank Kami..." Naruto said with a sigh of relief.
Ten minutes later, Naruto was called to Yamamoto.
"So what did you need me for?" Naruto asked, standing in front of Yamamoto with Sarge and Foxman on his shoulders.
"I would like you to help us out in the real world, in a town called Karakura. We think something might go down there soon. Can you help us?" Yamamoto asked, getting a nod from Naruto.
"Sure. Give me a place to live and you got yourself some help."
--Real World, Karakura--
"Class, we have another new student joining us today." the teacher said with a smile. "You can come in now!" she shouted at the door. It opened to reveal a boy with spiky, yellow hair and red tips, a red and a blue eye and three whisker marks on each cheek. He wore the traditional school uniform, only the sleeves were ripped off.
"Class, this is Uzumaki Naruto, he's an exchange student from Konoha high." the teacher said while Naruto smiled.
"Yo!" he said with a wave. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I hope we can all be friends."
Ichigo, Orihime, Ishida and Chad looked at each other with questioning eyes.
"Naruto, you can sit there next to Orihime. Orihime, raise your hand."
Orihime jumped in surprise and quickly raised her hand.
Naruto walked up to Orihime and sat down next to her with a fox like smile on his face.
At lunch, Ichigo and the gang walked up to him.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" Ichigo asked, getting a shrug from Naruto.
"I don't know. What are you doing here?"
A vein appeared in Ichigo's forehead.
"Are you trying to piss me off?"
"Is it working?" Naruto asked with a smile.
"Yes."
"Good. As for why I'm here... I don't know. Old man Yama told me to come here undercover. He says something might go down here. I think that he just didn't want me hitting on that hot captain of the fourth squad." Naruto said with a little drool in the corner of his mouth. "The only problem with staying here is that I have this army of fangirls following wherever I go..." he said and looked behind him to see a horde of girl peeking out from behind the building. "But I don't know why he needs me to be here as well... From what I understand there are already a lot of shinigamis here."
"Yes, there are. So you can go back to where you came from." Ichigo said grumpily.
"Are you pissed about me beating you without even drawing my sword while you were in Bankai?" Naruto asked, making Ichigo's eye twitch. "Anyway. Tell me if there's any trouble." he said and started leaving.
"Wait! There's still school!" Orihime said, making Naruto smile.
"I've never been that much for school." he said and left.
--3 weeks later--
"So tell me... Why am I supposed to enter this contest?" Naruto asked as he and Toushiro sat in school in front of Ikkaku, wearing the school's Kendo uniform.
"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho, Naruto-san." Ikkaku said and held out two small boxes filled with candy. "Please accept these."
"Are you trying to bribe us with candy?" Toushiro asked angrily. "Well, it won't work."
"Oh, candy!" Naruto said and took one of the small boxes. "I'm in!"
Matsumoto walked up to Toushiro and smiled.
"But, captain. Why are you refusing when you're already wearing the uniform?"
"Because he wouldn't give me an explanation until I put it on." Toushiro said with a glare.
"Again, I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho." Ikkaku said and held out another box, this one filled with toys. "Please accept this as an apology gift."
"Oh! A Yo Yo!" Naruto shouted with his mouth full of chocolate and snatched the Yo Yo out of the box.
"Though I'm glad that the uniform fit your little brother, even though he's an elementary student." Shinji said, walking up next to Matsumoto.
"Elementary student?" Toushiro asked with a twitch in his eye. He walked up to Ikkaku and grabbed his collar. "Madarame! You bastard!"
"I'm sorry, taicho. But we need to win."
"I told you not to get too involved in human affairs."
"My apologies."
"That's right, Ikkaku-san." Renji said, walking into the room. "This is really getting in the way of my training."
"Abarai? He got you too?" Toushiro asked.
"Yeah, Urahara-san kept pestering me to go." Renji said and told them how Urahara had told them to go. "And this is what I get for it!"
"Sorry for wasting your valuable time." Ikkaku said with a smile on his face.
"Seriously, did you give Urahara-san some candy and ask him too?" Renji asked with a glare.
Ikkaku smiled again and looked proud.
"I may have slipped him something under the table. Well, at least now we have all the fighters we need."
"No, you don't." Naruto said, having gotten out of the uniform and was currently playing with his Yo Yo. "I'm not fighting."
"What?!" Ikkaku shouted with wide eyes. "But you accepted the candy!"
"Yes, I did. And now that it's gone, I had a change of heart." Naruto said with a fox like grin. "You should never trust a fox."
"You bastard!" Ikkaku shouted and got on his knees in front of Matsumoto, holding out the head piece. "Matsumoto. Please help me."
"No way! My hair will smell like a sewer if I wear that thing." she said, pinching her nose.
"Then there's only one thing left to do." Ikkaku admitted and pointed at Keigo. "You're in!" he shouted with a gleam on his bald head.
"What?! No way! I've never even held a shinai before!" Keigo said.
"All you have to do is run around. Only three of the five of us have to win." Ikkaku said with a wicked grin.
Half an hour later, they were sitting in front of the Koutei Academy team.
First match was Toushiro's, then came Keigo's, he just ran around for fifteen seconds before he got hit in the head. Third match was Renji's. That's when a hollow appeared. Naruto decided to just sit back while the shinigamis handled it. It was the best decision he'd ever made. It turned out that Matsumoto's mod soul was a nymphomaniac. She saw Naruto sitting behind her and grinned. She crawled over to him and winked.
"You're coming with me."
Naruto just stared at her before smiling and looking up at the ceiling.
'Thank you.' he thought as Matsumoto grabbed his hand and dragged him into a janitor's closet.
Three hours after Ikkaku had beat the shit out of pretty much everyone there, Toushiro walked up to Matsumoto who was still in her shinigami form.
"Matsumoto? Why are you not in your gigai?" he asked.
"I... can't find it." Matsumoto admitted, looking embarrassed. Then the door to the janitor's closet opened.
"See you later." Matsumoto's mod soul said with a wink. Naruto, who was sitting on the floor, exhausted with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, only waved with a smile.
"There you are!" Matsumoto shouted, running up to her artificial self. "What were-" she started, but stopped when she saw Naruto half asleep in the janitor's closet. She looked at her mod soul. "You didn't?"
Her mod soul only smiled, looking embarrassed.
"Sorry." she said. "I know I'm going to get in trouble for this, but I can tell you something... It was worth it."
"I can't feel my legs." Naruto said, punching his legs.
Matsumoto growled before entering her gigai. Naruto spent the rest of the day running on stiff legs from an extremely angry and sore Matsumoto.
"Hey! She dragged me in there!" he shouted. "You're being very unfair!"
"But you knew that it wasn't me! You could have said no!"
"Hey! I'm a gentleman! I can't deny a request from a beautiful woman!"
"Flattery will get you nowhere! Come back here!"
A month passed without anything happening for Naruto, except him hitting on Matsumoto every chance he got. It always ended with him getting hit or kicked in a place no man should ever have to get hit. Then he felt a massive amount of reiatsu in the area. He smiled before heading to where he felt the reiatsu. He got to the park where Urahara was fighting a big Arrancar with a mask on his jaw. Then he saw that Matsumoto, Ikkaku, Yumichika and Toushiro were fighting an Arrancar who had released his zanpakuto, making him look like a squid with his eight tentacles coming out of his back. The Arrancar was just about to pierce Matsumoto with spikes coming out of one of his tentacles when the top of it was cut off.
"You know... treating a lady, especially one with such beauty, like that is not really polite, is it?" Naruto asked calmly, standing in front of the Arrancar with his Zanpakuto drawn.
"Oh? Another one for the slaughter, huh?" the Arrancar asked arrogantly. "Who might a pathetic little human like you be?"
Naruto looked at his body and laughed. "Oh! Sorry, I'm still in my gigai. Allow me to introduce myself." he said and jumped out of his gigai to reveal his Arrancar self. "I am Uzumaki Naruto. Your death."
"My death, huh? Well, it's still only four against eight since ice boy has gone down already. But I might just as well introduce myself since you did it. I am the 6th Espada, Luppi."
"No. They won't be fighting." Naruto said and smiled. "Rend, Kyuubi..." he said quietly. There was an explosion of reiatsu as Naruto was encased in a white, bone like substance. Once it had finished forming around him, he was on all fours, looking like a fox hollow with nine long tails. He flexed his claws. "How about my nine against your eight?"
Luppi's eyes widened for a second. Then he smirked.
"So what if you have a few tails?! Mine have longer reach than yours!" he shouted and attacked. The tentacles smacked into Naruto from every direction causing an explosion of smoke.
"Naruto-san!" Matsumoto shouted.
The smoke cleared to reveal Naruto encased in a ball formed by his tails. He opened up a crack to look at Luppi.
"Longer reach, huh?" and the moment he asked that, a tail stabbed through Luppi from behind.
Luppi coughed up some blood before looking at Naruto.
"H-How?"
"Just like you I can lengthen my tails but I can also thicken and solidify them." he said and charged all of his tails to pierce Luppi, who could do nothing but take the blows.
Naruto looked at Luppi who had a tail in every limb, one in the heart, one in each lung, one in the liver and one in the spleen.
"Shine (Die)..." he said quietly and ripped the Arrancar to pieces.
Naruto resealed his zanpakuto and sighed. Foxman appeared on Naruto's shoulder.
"It was quite unnecessary to use your zanpakuto."
"I know... This was quite a disappointment." Naruto agreed. Suddenly, a pillar of light covered each Arrancar that was left and sucked them into a rift in the sky. "Now that was even more of a disappointment. They didn't even stay to finish the fight." he said and jumped down to the ground.
Once he got down he was smacked in the back of his head by Toushiro.
"Damn you! I was just about to unleash an incredibly strong attack when you interfered!" he yelled at Naruto, who rubbed the bump on his head.
"Taicho... Are you mad because you couldn't show off your power?" Matsumoto asked with a sweatdrop.
"No!" Toushiro answered a little too fast.
"That was quite an attack, Naruto-san." Ikkaku said and gave Naruto a pat on the back. "But your released form reminded me of something."
"The Kyuubi no Kitsune right?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.
Ikkaku nodded.
"Yeah. Why does it look like that?"
"Simple. When I was alive I was it's container. When I died, his soul merged with mine, creating this." Naruto said and pointed at his mask. "So I'm technically the Kyuubi myself."
"Wow..."
"Yeah." Naruto said. "Tch, Tou-san-ahou." he whispered. "Well, if that's all, then I'm going home."
The next day, Yamamoto called him on his soulphone.
"You're coming back to Soul Society."
"Why?"
"We have to make preparations for going to Hueco Mundo." Yamamoto said. That's all Naruto needed to hear so he opened up a portal to Soul Society and appeared right next to Yamamoto, scaring the shit out of the old man.
"Let's do it then." he said and walked away to get Hanatarou while Yamamoto tried to calm his heart.
"Oi! Hanako!" Naruto shouted when he walked through the fourth squad's building. "Hanako! Get out here right now!"
"What's the matter, Naruto-san?" Unohana's voice sounded from behind him. Naruto turned around to look at her.
"I need to take Hanako with me to Hueco Mundo. There's going to be a battle and we'll probably need a medic." he said.
"Hanatarou-kun is in nursing room 4. Just make sure he doesn't get hurt." Unohana said, getting a nod from Naruto.
"I will." he said and bowed before leaving.
--Nursing room 4--
Naruto kicked the door open.
"Hanako! Come here!"
Hanatarou ran up to him quickly.
"What is it, Naruto-san."
"Like I told your taicho, there's going to be a battle and we'll probably need a medic. Come with me."
"B-But I don't think Unohana- Tai-" Hanatarou started, but was interrupted by Naruto grabbing the back of his collar and dragging Hanatarou with him.
"Your taicho has already allowed me to take you with me." Naruto told the raving Hanatarou who stopped struggling.
Five hours later, Naruto opened up a portal to Hueco Mundo for Byakkuya, Hanatarou, Mayuri, Nemu, Unohana, Isane and himself. They went through and once they got to Hueco Mundo, Naruto started searching for reiatsu signals. He found that Rukia's was very weak.
"Hanatarou. Go with Byakkuya and help Rukia. I'm going to help Ichigo."
"Hai." Hanatarou said and followed Byakkuya.
--With Ichigo--
Nnoitora was just about to slice Ichigo and Nel in two when Naruto suddenly disappeared.
"My... What is it with Espadas trying to kill beautiful women?" (In my story Nel never changes back to her child form.)
Nnoitora looked to his right and found Naruto standing there, dressed in his usual clothes, excluding his jounin vest and he had ripped the sleeves off his shirt, with Ichigo, Nel and Orihime behind him.
"Naruto?!" Ichigo asked with wide eyes.
"Who the fuck are you?!" Nnoitora asked loudly.
"Is your hearing bad? He just said my name, jackass." Naruto said, making Nnoitora growl.
"That's it! You're dead too!" he shouted and charged. He tried a vertical slash that was blocked by Naruto's zanpakuto.
"Well, aren't you the hotheaded one?" Naruto asked calmly before pushing Nnoitora away. "Let's go." he said and charged in with a horizontal slash from the left, Nnoitora's right. Nnoitora blocked it but was unprepared for the kick that came from his left.
"Shit!" was all he could say before he was sent flying into the air. He flew about forty feet before slamming into a building that collapsed on top of him.
"That was easy." Naruto said and raised an eyebrow. "You lost to him, Ichigo?"
"No. I had just fought and killed Grimmjow." Ichigo said. "He came afterwards, when I was injured."
"I don't go down that easily!" came Nnoitora's shrill voice from the rubble. The rubble exploded, showing Nnoitora standing there with a crazy look on his face.
Naruto grinned.
"Good. I was hoping the fight hadn't ended." he said and charged. He began with a vertical slash that was blocked. He attempted an back spin kick but Nnoitora saw the kick coming this time and jumped back. They continued trading blows for about five minutes until Nnoitora got tired of it.
"Pray, (Zanpakuto's name. I can't really remember it)." he said and was covered in the same white substance that covered Naruto when he released his zanpakuto. It finished forming around him, showing six arms with six of his strange weapons.
"What are you gonna do now?! You were at a draw with me when I only had one weapon! Now I have six!" Nnoitora shouted with a grin.
Naruto smirked.
"Rend, Kyuubi." he said and entered his fox form. "I got thirteen weapons."
Nnoitora growled and charged with a helm breaker. Naruto smirked before blocking the weapons with two of his tails while another two wrapped themselves around Nnoitora's feet.
"Got ya." Naruto said and lifted Nnoitora into the air before slamming him into the ground. He continued slamming Nnoitora into the ground until he got tired of it and threw the Espada into the rubble of the same building he'd collided with before.
"That's two." Naruto said when Nnoitora rose once again. "You won't get up the third time."
"Shut up, you bastard!" Nnoitora screamed and launched a flurry of strikes against Naruto, who smiled and either blocked or dodged every time. Naruto expertly maneuvered himself so he was standing to the right of Nnoitora's servant. Nnoitora just attempted a horizontal slice that Naruto ducked under. The slice went past Naruto and cut off the servant's head instead.
"W-What the...?" Nnoitora asked with wide eyes.
"Oops? Was he standing there?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. "Had I known then I would never have decided to stop right here."
"You bastard!" Nnoitora screamed and charged again.
"Is that all you can say?" Naruto asked as he continued to dodge.
"He's just playing with Nnoitora." Nel said with wide eyes, sitting next to Ichigo. "He must be strong."
"I guess he is." Ichigo said with equally big eyes.
"Time to end this." Naruto said and grabbed all six of Nnoitora's weapons with his tails. "Third time's a charm." he said and stabbed his hand straight through Nnoitoras heart.
Nnoitora just stared at him with a wide eye as he coughed up some blood.
"I know your kind." Naruto said. "You're the kind of guy who thinks he can defeat anyone so you don't even try when you fight. Had you tried to hurt me you might have been able to at least scratch me. I told you, you wouldn't get up the third time." he whispered before tearing Nnoitora's body in half. He walked up to the others. "Is anyone except Carrot top hurt?"
"Asshole..." Ichigo whispered.
Naruto saw Nel and went wide eyed before smiling. He crouched down next to her.
"Hey there. Are you hurt?"
"N-No. I'm fine." Nel said with a blush.
"I'm Naruto." Naruto said and held out a hand.
"Nel." Nel said and grabbed Naruto's hand. Naruto took this moment to kiss her hand, making her blush intensify.
"A beautiful name for a beautiful woman."
'I want Kurosaki-kun to treat me like that...' Orihime thought with a blush. Naruto got up and looked around.
"I have to go find Hanako and make sure he's safe. Ichigo, take Orihime to safety. Nel-hime, what do you wish to do?"
"I-I don't know. I can go with you." she said as she got up.
"Good. Ichigo," Naruto said and opened up a portal to Seireitei. "go through whenever you're ready."
"You ready, Inoue?" Ichigo asked getting a nod from Orihime. They were just about to head off when a black haired Arrancar with a bored expression on his face blurred into view in front of Orihime.
"I'm sorry, but she'll have to go with me."
Before anyone could react, they were gone.
"Can you hear me, invading enemy?" came Aizen's calm voice from seemingly out of nowhere. "To those who have successfully defeated members of the Espada, I would like to express my respect. More than that, we are starting our invasion of the human world." he said, making everyone's eyes widen. "Inoue Orihime has been left in the fifth tower. If you want to save her, come and get her. Pretty soon, that girl will be of no use."
Aizen started explaining of how he'd kidnapped Orihime in order for the Shinigamis to focus all their attention on saving her, because of her abilities, thus leaving Karakura unwatched.
Suddenly, Naruto's portal closed, making his eyes widen.
"No! Fuck!" he shouted and tried opening up another portal, but for nigh. "Ichigo! You go find Orihime, I'll try to find a way to get out of here."
"I'm way ahead of you." Ichigo said and jumped away. Naruto turned to Nel.
"Nel, I need you to go find the other captains. Tell them that I sent you with a message. The message is following 'I'm going to try and find a way back into the real world, go help Ichigo get Orihime before following me.' Take them to this spot after you've saved Orihime."
"Got it." Nel said and blurred away.
"Foxman, Sarge? Any ideas?" Naruto asked as his two other personalities materialized.
"Nothing..." Foxman said with a sigh while Sarge put a hand on his chin.
"Maybe if you dig..."
"Dig?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when looking at the real world from here, it's upside down... Maybe they are somehow connected through the ground. So, dig."
Naruto shrugged.
"It's not like I have another way to get out of here." he said and started digging. He dug for what felt like hours. He unleashed Kyuubi in order to help him dig faster with his new claws and tails.
--Karakura--
Yamamoto had just sealed Aizen, Gin and Tousen inside his fiery prison and Ikkaku, Kira, Yumichika and Shuuhei had just prevented an old Arrancar's people from destroying four pillars that were there to switch Karakura with an artificial Karakura, when the sky cracked. A bone white, clawed hand shot out of the sky followed by a bony fox head. The fox hollow looked around for a while before laughing.
"It worked! Digging actually worked!" he shouted while everyone just stared at him with wide eyes. He jumped down to the shinigamis and resealed his zanpakuto.
"Good. Reinforcements." Yamamoto said with a nod of approval. Naruto looked around and spotted two very familiar faces.
"Oh! Hi, Tou-san, Kaa-san!" he exclaimed with a wave. "I guess I finally get to see you in battle now, huh?"
"I guess so, Naruto. How about the one with the most injuries pays for booze when the fight is over?" Minato asked with a grin, making Kushina sigh.
"Men..."
"Sounds good!" Naruto said with an identical grin.
"You!" the king like Arrancar shouted as he pointed at Naruto. "I thought I told you that I never wanted to see your face in my presence again!"
"Go suck a railroad spike, you old fuck!" Sarge shouted, suddenly appearing on Naruto's shoulder.
"That's not quite the way I would've put it, but... yeah!" Foxman exclaimed, also appearing on Naruto's shoulder.
"Y-You dare insult the great Baragan-sama?!" an Arrancar with a sabertooth mask on his head shouted with a glare.
"This is it." Yamamoto said, nodding to himself. "The real battle starts now!"
--Done--
Cliffhanger power!