8 Maius 174

Two guards bowed before Caesar and one said," Your Majesty, General Maximus and his troops are just outside the city walls."

Caesar laughed happily and loudly. He clapped his hands together. "He was anxious to return." He waved the two guards away and motioned to his wife and daughter. "We shall go and greet him, then."

It wasn't much longer until the general and his troops arrived. The city expressed their excitement as the men rode by on their horses.

Lucilla felt her insides fluttering around with every step closer the troupe took. Her heart was pounding wildly inside her chest. Her breathing was growing shallow. It all felt familiar but it felt new, too.

"Maximus, this must be a new record for you, my boy," Caesar said when the general neared the family. "Either you're getting better or the campaigns are getting easier."

"My men are always improving, Caesar."

"Perhaps," Caesar mused playfully. "Or perhaps you can't manage to stay from Rome for too long."

Maximus chuckled as he dismounted his horse. "I cannot deny that Rome holds a special place in my heart. It is good to see you, Caesar. You look well."

"I look old," the emperor corrected with a smile, "but I'm still alive so I can't complain."

"You'll be around for a while still, old man." He moved over to Melania to offer his hello.

He kissed the hand she held out. "You always look beautiful, your Majesty. Not a day over twenty."

Melania smirked. "You're a liar but a good one."

He released her hand and sought out Lucilla. He met a pair of blue eyes, eyes he saw every time he closed his eyes at night. She looked stunning as ever in a blue dress that hugged all of the right places. He wanted to devour her right then and there.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Lucilla," he told her. He took hold of her outstretched hand and kissed it gently. She felt her veins course through her body. She felt her breathing stop.

"You as well, Maximus," she managed to get out. He really had a hold on her. She was in deep.

That Night

All was calm throughout the halls. Guards were stationed at their appointed places along the walls, making nay a sound. The occasional bird could be heard. All was peaceful in the palace.

Lucilla sat comfortably in her room, a book in her hands and candlelight to read by. Perhaps she was lost in her own world or perhaps Rome was sleeping soundly, for she could hear no sound. The hour was late but she couldn't sleep. Not even with her love at her side.

She looked over at Maximus' sleeping form and sighed. He was finally back where he belonged. After a long afternoon with the Senate, he had made his way to her. After… vigorously welcoming him home, he had admitted to being overly tired. He managed to talk for a short while before exhaustion claimed him. She had simply been too… relieved and happy to let sleep claim her. He looked so peaceful when he slept, like he didn't have a care in the world. His face was not pained. The lines around his eyes weren't present. His body held no stress. He looked handsome.

'I wonder if he does this to me when I'm asleep,' she mused to herself.

She shook it off and returned her focus to her book. She managed to read only a few pages before she felt a hand on her thigh. She looked over at her love and sighed to her herself at the sight of him.

"Why are you still awake?" Maximus mumbled into her side. He snuggled up to her, cherishing her warmth.

"Why have you woken?' she retaliated.

"Your book woke me; the pages turning," he explained.

She looked abashed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

But he brushed it off. "Don't apologize. I'm a soldier; I sleep lightly."

She nodded. "I forgot about that."

He was silent for a few moments so she thought he had fallen back to sleep. She continued to read her book, turning the pages slowly so there was less noise. She became lost in her own world until she felt his hand move.

"Why are you still awake?" he asked, repeating his earlier question.

Lucilla chuckled. She rested the book on her lap and said," Believe it or not, I can't sleep. I'm too excited… and relieved."

"I thought you said you have trouble sleeping when I'm not here."

"I do."

"Well, I'm here now so based on you conclusion, you should be asleep right now."

"But I can't sleep. I'm not even tired."

"So allow me to help you become tired."

He pulled her book from her hands and tossed it to the side. He ignored her outcry of shock and pulled her down to rest beside him. He molded his body to fit hers, enjoying the soft skin compared to his rough skin.

"Maximus, I hadn't marked my placed in that book," she complained next to his ear. And so he shushed her.

"It's time to sleep now, not read," he reasoned.

Try as she may, she couldn't find the energy to be mad at him. She slipped an arm around his chest, ready to settle in. maybe she was just a little tired.

"I missed you, Luci," he murmured against her forehead. "More than I can possibly say."

Lucilla tilted her face up to his and met his lips. She helped him express the words he couldn't find.

9 Maius 174

The clanking of armor woke Lucilla in the morning.

"Maximus, it's too early. Come back to bed," she tried to persuade. Her eyes were still closed so she didn't see his smile. She didn't like to speak much before the sun rose. Or think for that matter.

"I have to leave, Lucilla. There's some business I have to attend to."

"It can't wait for a few more hours?"

"I'm afraid not. It all has to be done in the matter of a day."

"Why a day? You're not going on another campaign, are you?" Her voice was laced heavily with sleep, still.

He hesitated and looked at her. Her eyes were still closed. He suspected she was hoping he would crawl back into bed with her and forget about the rest of the world for a few more hours. To be honest with himself, he wanted to. But he had preparations to make for a journey she wasn't going to like hearing about.

"No, I'm not. I'm leaving for Alexandria." He turned his back to her, trying to brace himself for the yelling he knew would come.

Lucilla sat up quickly. "What?" she said loudly, not sure if her ears had heard correctly.

He slowly turned to face her but he kept his head down. "I leave for Alexandria tomorrow morning."

She was at a loss for words for only a few seconds. "When were you going to tell me this?"

"Well, ideally, right before we set sail," he said comically.

"It's reassuring you can joke about this, Maximus. I feel so wanted."

He finally looked up and met her eyes. He was fearful of the ire he saw there. "You knew I would have to return eventually, Lucilla. Right now, the sooner I leave the better."

Lucilla remained silent. She gathered the sheets around her, suddenly feeling so very exposed. She watched him continue on dressing. He was leaving her. She knew the day would come, but she didn't think it would be so soon. She still had so many thoughts to tell him, so many emotions to share. She wanted to say something, anything to change his mind. She didn't want to be alone any longer. But she knew he would always be chasing the next adventure that came along.

"Is this a good idea, Maximus?" she asked him, her eyes glued to the bed. "Us together?"

He stopped dressing, his breastplate falling back to the chair it had rested on. He could feel his heart speeding up. She wouldn't look at him. He spoke slowly, choosing his words wisely.

"We're very different people, that's no secret." What did one say in this situation? "Are you having doubts?"

Lucilla didn't answer right away. She was too lost in her own world of thoughts. Could she have been having doubts? No, there was no way. But why did she feel compelled to ask if their relationship was the right path for them?

"Sometimes I feel we're too different, you and I, to make this work," she revealed to him. She slowly looked up to meet his eyes. He looked so understanding but there was something else in his eyes. Something she'd never seen before. Fear. She wanted to quickly allay his fears. "But I can't imagine what king of world it would be without you by my side."

His eyes lightened a bit. "Nor I without you."

Tears burned at the back of her eyes. She bit her lip to stop them from falling but to no avail. She prided herself on being strong and never letting her emotions show. Why now of all times did she have to break?

"I can't lose you, Maximus," she whispered. She had to bite back a sob. "My sanity depends on it. I don't want to be alone any longer."

Maximus didn't say anything at first but he did step closer. It broke his heart to see her cry but she needed to. She kept too many things bottled inside. Who was he to call the kettle black? So did he.

"Now there we see eye to eye. You keep me grounded, Luci," he confessed. He slowly stepped closer to her. "Based on what you've just said, you're not having doubts. You're just scared."

She nodded, more tears welling in her eyes. "I am."

"I am only going to Alexandria, not leaving you forever. You know I can never stay away from you for too long."

"Do you promise?" she asked in a small voice. "Do you promise you won't find someone else who won't infuriate you and marry her?"

"I promise," he smiled, wiping her tears away. "Every woman pales in comparison to you. You're my better half, my only half. Know this, Luci, in you I've found my home. There is no place I'd rather be and certainly no other person I would rather be with."

"You're not just saying this to make me happy, are you?"

"Luci…"

"I know; I'm sorry." She sniffled and wiped a few stray tears away. He moved closer, the urge to be close to her taking over. "Thank you for not turning away from me, Maximus."

"You are stuck with me, Lucilla," he said, a firmness in his voice. "I am forever in your life."

She smiled at him, amazed at his ability to always make her smile. She held her hand out and was pleased when he slipped hand in hers. "Then I am forever grateful."

"What is wrong, Lucilla?" Sephora asked her close friend. Lucilla had been gloomy for the entire day. She had also had tearstained cheeks for most of the day. She had stayed holed up in her room and Sephora was tired of it.

"Nothing is wrong, Sephora," Lucilla lied, her voice solemn. "I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. I've known you all my life so I can tell when you're lying," the woman reminded. "What's happened?"

Sephora moved over to where Lucilla sat. Lucilla focused her eyes on her book, her mind far from comprehending the words. Sephora could see the tears in her friend's eyes, the sight of it breaking her heart. 'Maximus has returned. What could possibly be wrong?' she wondered. She knelt before her friend. "What's happened?" she repeated.

That was all it took to break down the princess's walls. A sob escaped and a rush of words followed.

"He's leaving. He's leaving me and he only just returned. How could he do this to me, Sephora?"

"Do what? Who?" Sephora couldn't understand her friend, she was talking so fast. "Slow down, Lucilla, and take a deep breath."

Lucilla did as she was told. She inhaled slowly and released a shaky breath. "He's leaving me."

"Who? Maximus?" Lucilla nodded. "Why? He's only been back for two days."

"He wouldn't tell me exactly. All he said was that he had business to attend to." Lucilla looked at her friend with sad eyes. "What if he has someone else in Alexandria? He said he didn't but he's never left so soon before."

Sephora firmly shook her head. "He sees no one else but you. You are the only woman for him. Why else would he come to Rome so often?"

"To attend to my father's business affairs," Lucilla said as if blatantly obvious. Sephora shook her head again.

"Your father couldn't possibly have that many wars to fight every year. He comes simply to visit you."

"When I asked him if he would ever come to Rome just to visit me, he said he wouldn't."

"Then he was lying," Sephora interrupted. "Think about it, Lucilla. He's not going to tell you how he's feeling. He's a man and a general on top of that. He's a very mysterious man. He's not going to unfold before your eyes; you have to unravel him."

Lucilla absorbed the information. He never did tell her everything. She spent most of her time guessing how he was feeling. She'd become good at it over the years but just when she figured him out, he developed an entirely new mood.

"So I haven't lost him yet?" she said slowly.

Sephora smiled. "You'll never lose him."

10 Maius 179

The long ship was stocked full of food, supplies, and mail waiting to be delivered to the people of Egypt. The hour was early, or late depending on the person asked. The men were tired as they struggled to continue loading supplies. Maximus reprimanded them for it even though he was tired as well. All he wanted to do was crawl back into bed with Lucilla and hold her close. He could still feel the warmth of her body. It felt good against the chill in the air.

His goodbyes had already been said to the family. They were the easy ones. Lucilla was the difficult one. He had debated between leaving in the middle of the night and giving her a proper goodbye. It was a difficult decision but he had chosen the latter. So he had kissed her goodbye and promised to write. She knew he would.

"My lord, the supplies are almost fully loaded," Palidorus said as he came up next to the man. "We'll be ready to leave shortly."

"Very well," Maximus nodded. "I'll be there shortly."

Palidorus nodded before he left. Maximus turned around to take a look at the palace in the distance. It was pitch black outside with no lights around. He could see the flicker of lights in the windows even at his distance. He counted over seven lights from the right--Lucilla's window. There was no light in the window; she couldn't sleep with light in the room. He raised his hand in a silent farewell before turning around.

"Maximus!"

He stopped.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, stepping over to the person. Lucilla motioned for him to come closer so his men wouldn't see her. Or hear them. He wrapped his arms around her, savoring the feel of her. Words couldn't express how happy he was to see her. "I thought you said you would never come see me off."

"I decided to break my rule," she explained. "I had to see you one last time."

Maximus smiled. "I'm glad you came."

She looked behind him at the ship. "It looks like you're ready to leave."

"Yes, we'll be leaving shortly. We want to get an early start," he explained.

Lucilla nodded. She fingered the coat he wore, a gift from her father. She promised herself a few years ago that she would always say goodbye the day before he left. She didn't want to see him the day of. She knew she would want to do more than just tell him goodbye verbally and she knew there would be an audience.

He brushed a stray hair away from her face and pushed it back behind the dark veil she wore. He didn't know if it was because she was sad or because she didn't want to be seen. Probably the latter.

"Maximus, I'm not… an easy person to love, I know that," she started.

"But you're worth it, Luci," he interrupted. "Whatever you want me to be for you, I'll be it. Just ask. I know it may not seem like it but I'm a patient man."

She managed a smile. "You certainly are."

She had put him through a lot in the alst six years. He'd had to scale her emotional walls just to prove he could handle being with her. He had to admit, though, it was well worth it. He was with her and she was very much in love with him. And he with her.

In the darkness of the early morning, his lips found hers in a soft embrace. He caressed her lips softly with his. This could be the last time he kissed her in a while, possibly a year. He wanted to savor every moment. His hands glided over her hips, the silky fabric making his hands feel numb. She pulled him even closer, the mere feel of him intoxicating. She didn't want to face reality now.

When they parted, their chests were heaving. Lucilla rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"You'll catch me if I should fall?" she asked him. She had first asked him that question four years ago when she first realized she loved him. It was one of her tests.

"With open arms, Lucilla. Open arms."

She kissed his chin and smiled up at him. "That's all I need to know."

She fingered the necklace he still wore. It would bring him luck on his long journey.

"I wanted to give you something before I leave," he said, reaching into a pocket. "I was going to do it last night but you… we were quite amorous, I forgot. I was going to have Palidorus give it to you but since you're here…"

He produced a sapphire ring on a thin gold band.

"Oh, Maximus," Lucilla breathed.

"It was my grandmother's. She moved from Rome to Alexandria with nothing of value except for this ring. When she passed away, she left it to me to give it to the woman I love."

"Maximus, I… I can't…" He slipped the ring on her left hand.

"You can and you will. I want you to have it. My grandmother would have loved you and she would want you to have it. Consider it my eternal promise to you, Luci."

She met his eyes. She heard the emotion in his voice.

"I… I don't know what to say, Maximus," she said haltingly. She was speechless.

He smiled at her. "Say thank you and it's time to say goodbye."

She looked up from the ring and noticed Palidorus waiting on the dock for his master. She looked up at Maximus and couldn't keep her tears at bay.

He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Goodbye, Lucilla. Remember, I will see you soon."

She nodded. She kissed him this time. She was unwilling to let him leave without a remembrance of what he was leaving behind. She smoothed her thumb over his bottom lip when she was through before smiling and turning to walk away.

"Lucilla," he called out before she got too far away. She turned around and he could see a slight smirk on her face. "I love you."

Tears streamed freely down her face as the breath left her lungs. She knew how he felt about her but he had never said the words out loud before.

"And I you, Maximus," she said loud enough for him to hear. She saw him smile before he turned toward the ship. She watched him, and Palidorus, walk up the ship's ramp and cast off.

Sorry for the long delay in between chapters. The entire story is written but I haven't had much time to type and post with school, work, and the desire to actually do nothing for a change. I will do my best to post another chapter every Friday.

And if you've made it to this point, to read this note and to the sixth chapter, thank you for sticking with my story and me.