Over the next week while Hux recovered Kylo seemed to have become a hermit. He didn't wander the ship as he usually did, he didn't visit the practice rooms, there were no outbursts, all was strangely quiet. He didn't leave his quarters at all. Dressed in loose black pants and tunic style shirt he sat in a large chair looking out the viewport and trying to decide what to do. He knew the best course of action would be to ask the Supreme Leader to let him move to another ship or station him somewhere else. That would lead to questions he didn't want to answer. Leaning his head back he stared out the portal and slowly rubbed his chest wishing the sick feeling would disappear.
Every day Hux woke up in medbay hoping Kylo would visit. Every night when he didn't, Hux felt something burning inside him, like he had been stabbed. His wounds had been healing well, it seemed Kylo had done a good job setting his wounds. And he had been visited by the ship counselor every day. He had stopped feeling like everyone was going to hand him over to the Resistance. And so, after a week, medbay released him. They recommended he take some time off, though, to help him recover more, and he agreed, since he didn't exactly feel like his old self yet. The first thing he did when he got out was to go to Kylo's quarters. He wasn't sure what he would say, but he knew he had to see him. He pressed the comm outside Kylo's quarters, wondering if Kylo would even let him in.
Kylo looked over at the door knowing who it was even as he waved his hand letting the door slide open. He got to his bare feet wishing now that he were wearing his coat and mask. He studied him quickly then looked down at the floor. "You recovered... that's good..." he said fidgeting with his sleeves, betraying his nervousness. He didn't say what he'd wanted to say, that he was beyond relieved to see him up and around.
Hux walked inside. He nodded. "I did," he said. "The medtechs said it was due to you I got out so fast, you did a good job with my wounds." He looked at Kylo, who was obviously nervous. He was nervous, too. He wondered why their interactions could never be simple. "Why didn't you visit me?" he blurted out.
Kylo glanced at him and nodded glad that he'd done at least one thing right. Hux's question caught him off guard. "I... didn't think you'd care to see me," he said, looking at him and still fidgeting with his sleeves. There it was again. That naked feeling... the sickness churning in his guts making him queasy and feeling exposed. "After what happened... I thought it best if I stayed away from you," he said looking down at the floor. "I assumed it's what you'd prefer."
Hux threw up his hands, anger taking hold of him. "So you rescue me, then don't think I'll want to see you? You're the only one in the galaxy I can trust, Ren." Here he paused his voice shaky. "I was broken, Ren. And you have to take it personally like... a child." Here he stopped in his tirade and huffed, turning to face away from Kylo.
Kylo was silent for a moment. "Like a child. You kissed me... then fled like I was some sort of horrible beast and the look on your face..." he said staring hard at his back. "That was it. That was my first kiss Hux. It was you and you looked like you were going to vomit. What was I supposed to do exactly? Should I keep coming back to you so you can abuse me? Tear me apart some more? I don't understand this and I turned to you and I opened myself up and you spit in my face. And now you speak of trust? You're not the only broken one."
Hux felt a twinge of surprise, and whirled around to face Kylo. That had really been his first kiss? "I was scared of you. Scared of trusting you. And kissing you... it made me too vulnerable. I couldn't handle it." He should've known he would never understand. No one would understand. Even he didn't fully understand it. It was irrational, he knew, but that didn't make it any less real.
Kylo was silent for a moment chewing on the corner of his lower lip. "And now you've decided you do trust me? You're confusing me..." he said raking both hands through his hair in frustration. Walking over he stopped in front of Hux looking at him. "Do you remember what I said to you? When I asked you to explain this sick feeling inside me."
Hux nodded. "I realized that you're the only person I do trust, Ren. You saved me, after all." He looked down, embarrassed. Hux remembered everything that Kylo had told him, but he nodded cautiously. "I do. Why?" he asked, looking at Kylo curiously.
Kylo stood there for a moment before he sank to his knees in front of him pressing his hands against the floor. "Please help me. I don't know what to do... it's eating away at me and I can't make it stop. Training doesn't help... nothing helps. I meant what I said. I'll serve you, I'll kill for you, I'll lay the galaxy at your feet if you'll just help me. You're the cause... so... you must know the cure," he said turning those big brown eyes up at him.
Hux felt a flicker of a smile cross his face. It had been so long since he smiled, it felt strange. He felt something within him responding to Ren's proclamations. "So dramatic, Ren," he said, teasingly. "I think I might have a solution. Get up off the floor and kiss me already."
Kylo slowly picked himself up looking at him suddenly awkward and shy. He stepped closer to him hesitantly resting a hand on his waist and leaning in kissing him gently. His eyes closed as he struggled to hold himself in check. He didn't want to come off as a horny teenager. Restraint, Ren, he thought to himself.
Kylo wasn't actually too bad at this, Hux thought, returning the kiss. A bit sloppy, but that was to be understood. Hux opened his mouth and gently ran his tongue over the inside of Kylo's mouth.
Kylo made a soft noise stepping closer to him. Tilting his head he hesitantly met his tongue with his own. This was better. This was so much better. He could feel a strange buzzing in the back of his head but the horrible sick hole in the pit of his stomach had slowly disappeared the closer he got to Hux.
Hux allowed their tongues to clash against each other for a minute, before pulling away. He took a step back, allowing them to take a breath. "Did that help at all, Ren?" he asked with a light smirk.
Kylo almost stumbled when Hux drew back. He swallowed and nodded his head. "Yes..." he said clenching his hands into fists, resisting the urge to reach for him. "You do know...don't you? How to cure this..."
"Good," he said, nodding seriously. "I believe I know exactly what will cure it. But, it will have to be in my quarters." Hux gave the Vader helmet a strange look. "I don't know why you have that around, Ren, but I can't cure you with that staring at me." He strode out into the hallway. "Follow me," he said, gesturing with his head for Kylo to follow.
Kylo glanced over at his grandfather's mask with a puzzled expression. Turning he followed Hux, jogging to catch up to him. It wasn't until they were halfway along that he realized he was still in his loose fitting clothes and barefoot. Oh well, too late now, he thought.
Hux pressed his thumb against the pad and the door slid open. He walked inside, then turned to observe Kylo as the doors closed. Then he stepped forward to kiss him again, his hands gripping his shoulders. This time the kiss was more urgent and frantic, his tongue darting in to taste the other man's mouth.
Kylo followed thinking this was the first time he'd seen the inside of Hux's quarters. He started to look around but was caught instead by another kiss. He fell into it instantly, kissing him back eagerly. His hands clenched at his sides and then crept forward gripping the other man by the waist.
Hux continued kissing him, his hands resting on Kylo's lower back. He felt how eager Kylo was, and he grunted his approval when Kylo's hands found his waist. When he judged Kylo was ready, he stepped away again, catching his breath. He watched Kylo carefully. "Take your clothes off," he said.
Kylo was really beginning to enjoy this kissing thing when again Hux moved away. He was about to make a smart ass comment when Hux ordered him to strip. He stared at him a moment. A blush crept up his neck and ears as he slowly pulled his tunic shirt off over his head dropping it on the floor. A moment later he stood naked blushing and embarrassed.
Hux watched him for a moment to see if he would obey. When he did Hux nodded approvingly. "Good boy," he said. He circled around Kylo, inspecting him. He certainly had a nice body. "Now go get on the bed. On your back," Hux ordered. He took his boots and shirt off, placing them organized against the wall. He turned to see if Kylo had done what he had said.
Kylo stood perfectly still even though it was embarrassing to be observed like he had become a possession. That didn't stop him from doing what Hux wanted though. He slowly crossed the room and laid down on the bed. Lifting himself up on his elbows he watched him. "How does being naked help me exactly? This seems a little... strange."
Hux climbed onto the bed, his body over Kylo's. "Just be quiet," he said. "And you'll see." He started kissing his neck, sucking hard enough to bruise. He made his way lower, biting Kylo's collarbone. He made his way to his nipples, tongue gently tracing around one and then the other, before sucking.
Kylo looked up at him, falling silent even though he still looked a little confused. He slowly laid back down on the bed not sure he liked Hux hovering over him. He wasn't used to being so close to anyone else. And then the General's mouth was sucking on his skin and he felt a pleasurable shiver slide down his spine.
Hux felt the tremor in Kylos body, and he let out a soft smirk as he continued making his way down his body. When he reached his cock, he flicked a tongue around the tip, before lifting his head up and slowly taking it into his mouth. It was a pleasant stretching feeling. He moved his head up and down, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked.
Kylo swallowed staring at the ceiling and not moving a muscle as he worked his way down his chest and stomach. His hips jerked and he made a small startled sound his fingers curling into fists. Lifting his head again he looked down at him completely shocked to see the ever so proper General with his mouth around his cock. The knight groaned as much at the sight as the pleasure he was giving him. A hand slid into Hux's hair tangling in the red strands.
Hux saw Kylo staring at him and teasingly ran a tongue around his shaft, staring right into his eyes. He was careful to gauge Kylo's reactions, he didn't want this to end before it had begun. When he judged he was close enough, he took his mouth off his cock and took a deep breath. He crawled up Kylo again, kissing him while he opened a drawer in the bedside table and fiddled around in it. When he had found what he was looking for, he crawled down again and squirted some lube on his fingers. "This will be cold," Hux warned. He spread Kylo's legs and gently ran a finger around his asshole.
Kylo's whole body felt like it was on fire, the sensation pooling around his groin making him buck up into Hux's mouth eagerly. It didn't occur to him that he might accidentally gag the man. He was sensitive, that was for sure. A simple blow job had him squirming on the mattress and moaning. Given that he'd never felt anything like it before it was easy to see why it would be a shock to his system. He'd been taught that giving in your lust was shameful and weak and he'd gone to great pains to never indulge himself. Now suddenly it was like his hormones were flooding out the gate and he couldn't control it. He met Hux's kiss eagerly if a little sloppily, his hands tangling again in the ginger's hair. He wasn't really aware of what Hux intended as he moved back down his body and then the sudden cold made him gasp. He looked at Hux like he was out of his mind. "What...What are you doing?"
Hux smirked. "You wanted me to cure you, didn't you? Now, I do believe I told you to be quiet," he said, looking at Kylo severely, digging his nails warningly into his thigh until blood began to drip down. He released his hand and gently licked the blood off Kylo's thigh. Then he returned to his task. "I need you to relax, Kylo," he said, still running his finger around the rim. Then he inserted a finger, slowly, waiting for the muscles to relax before he pushed deeper.
Kylo growled low in his throat at being told to be quiet. He did not like being ordered about but he had asked for his help. His head tilted back with a hoarse moan when his nails bit into his skin hard enough to draw blood. It seemed the knight was a bit of a masochist but everyone already knew that. Exhaling slowly he tried to relax but it wasn't easy when Hux seemed to determine to shove a finger up his ass. Biting his lower lip he closed his eyes and focused on relaxing his body. Slowly his muscles complied and Hux would find it significantly easier to prepare him.
Hux managed to get two fingers in without too much trouble, and he scissored them inside Kylo, trying to get him to open up. He crooked his fingers and pressed them against Kylo's prostrate, trying to give Kylo a little hint of what was to come. He pressed his fingers there for a few minutes until he pulled his fingers out of Kylo.
Kylo squirmed a bit at the discomfort wondering what the kriff Hux was up to. The sudden blaze of pleasure that raced up his spine made the knight gasp, his hips lifting off the bed as he grabbed onto the sheets in complete surprise. He slumped, panting when Hux removed his fingers looking at him with and startled eyes. "What...what was that...?"
A cold light came into Hux's eyes. "Again, Ren, I believe I told you not to talk." He grabbed Kylo's cock, pressing his nails into it. Not enough to draw blood, just enough to hurt. He leaned forward until his face was close to Kylo's. "Don't make me gag you, Ren. You have such pretty moans, it would be a pity to have them muffled." He let go of Kylo's cock, and then leaned back again.
Kylo gave a startled and slightly pained gasp tilting his head back, his teeth gritting. He looked back at him angrily but he was obediently silent. He wanted to know what that was he'd felt and he had a feeling if he didn't do what Hux said he'd be turned out without answers or his cure. Not to mention he didn't want to be gagged. Licking his suddenly dry lips he watched him but kept his mouth shut.
Hux nodded to himself when he saw that Kylo was going to obey him, then he took off his pants and briefs, folding them neatly. He put some lube on himself and then slowly pressed inside Kylo, waiting until the muscles relaxed before pushing further. He couldn't believe how good this felt, and he let out a little moan as Kylo's heat surrounded him.
Ren watched him stripping off the rest of his clothes but it wasn't until he saw him lubing himself up that it all seemed to click in his mind. His automatic impulse was to run like his hair was on fire but he managed to control himself. He opened his mouth and shut it again remembering that he wasn't supposed to talk. Looking up at the General as he moved between his legs he was embarrassed to feel a tad fearful. What if it hurt a lot? Was Hux just messing with him? Was this all some plot to diminish him? What if he couldn't handle it? All these whispers rolling around in his head became a blur of noise as the ginger pushed inside of him. He tensed, he couldn't help it. Breathing in slow shallow gulps he tried to relax and trust that Hux knew what he was doing.
When Hux had finally bottomed out, he stood there for a few seconds, feeling himself enveloped totally. Then, he started moving in and out, slowly. He angled for Kylo's prostrate as he did so, and grabbed his cock in one hand, stroking it in time with his thrusts. His thrusts slowly became faster, grunting as he pushed into Kylo.
Kylo felt stretched... full... and it was strange how little he hated it. And then Hux moved and he brushed against that thing inside him sending fireworks exploding in the knight's brain. Gasping he lifted his hips up, long legs wrapping around Hux's waist. Each time he struck that spot Kylo saw white. Despite the order to be silent he couldn't help but moan Hux's name. He grabbed onto his upper arms looking at him clearly surprised by the pleasure he was feeling. He hadn't expected this at all.
Watching Kylo's reaction was only making Hux feel more pleasure. He kept stroking Kylo's cock, harder and faster, as he pounded into the knight. Hux was pulled down a little when Kylo's legs wrapped around him, but Hux didn't mind. It gave him more traction. He felt his cock being squeezed and kriff Kylo was so tight he couldn't bear it. He didn't think that he could last much longer.
Kylo clung to him rocking his hips up to meet him eagerly now. His breath came heavy and he knew he was going to come, he could feel it building. It was sensory overload for the inexperienced knight. Letting his head roll back on the pillow he cried out as he came, spilling over Hux's palm and onto his own stomach as well. His whole body went taut and he felt for a moment like he might pass out. The feeling slowly faded and he sagged onto the sheets breathing quickly, strands of black hair sticking to the sweat on his forehead and jawline.
Watching Kylo come was enough to send Hux over the edge, and he came with a gasp of pleasure that filled him so he lost his bearings for a moment. He pulled out of Kylo and crawled up to lay beside him on the bed. After Hux had recovered, he turned to Kylo. "Did that cure you?" he asked curiously.
Kylo groaned as he felt the ginger coming inside of him. His legs slid free and laid limp and spent on the bed as Hux moved up beside him. Turning his head he looked at him tiredly. Had it cured him? He definitely felt better. The aching sickness had abated. He sat up slightly pressing a hand against his chest. "I think... maybe..." he said looking over at him. "Are you going to tell the Supreme Leader about this...?"
Hux grinned at him. "Good. You know what that means? You belong to me now," he said in a low growl. He almost laughed. "Why would I tell him? It's none of his business." He paused, considering for a moment. "He might be able to read my mind, though." He got up. "I'm going to take a shower," he said. The shower helped him think, and he felt dirty. So he stood in the water and planned. When he emerged, he had a pretty decent plan. He walked outside and gestured to the fresher. "You can use the shower if you want, Ren."
Ren watched him for a moment trying not to be insulted by the man's possessive announcement. Did he really mind? Alright, yes he minded a little. It was true that he felt better though. Hux had kept his word, he had helped him. He felt awkward now that it was over as if he'd lost some of his power. Laying on his back he tried not to worry about what the Supreme Leader would do if he found out about this. Weak, that hateful voice in his head hissed. Turning his head he sat up as Hux re-emerged and nodded his thanks disappearing into the fresher. He stood under the water as hot as he could stand it and tried to think.
Hux grabbed his datapad before he sat back down on the bed. He went over a form he needed to approve while he still formed his plan in his head. He felt a prickle of irritation at people's stupidity. This wasn't even the right form. He sighed and scrolled to the next one, reading it over. He would need to have Kylo on his side for this. He hoped he could count on him, because if he couldn't it was all for nothing.
Ren exited the shower with a towel around his hips rubbing his wet hair with a second towel. Glancing at Hux he moved over to his discarded clothing to get dressed. "So I'm cured now... right?"
Hux shrugged, glancing up from the datapad. "I would assume so. You'll have to be the one to tell me, though." He put the datapad down and looked seriously at Kylo. "Did you mean what you said?"
Kylo stepped into his pants tugging them up and fixing them as he looked over at Hux. "What I said?" He thought for a moment and then remembered his proclamations at Hux's feet. Hux had kept his end of the bargain, Ren would keep his. He nodded. "Yes…" he said walking over to stand at the foot of the bed. "Just tell me what you need done."
Hux patted the bed next to him. "You can sit with me, if you want." He considered how much of his plan to tell Kylo. He decided to not tell him for now, just the parts he needed to know. He took a deep breath, looking at Kylo. "I want you to teach me how to shield my mind. I don't want Snoke to know what we're doing. I don't know if he would... understand." He shrugged. "I know you can already shield your mind from Snoke, you're strong enough for that, but I'm the weak link."
Kylo sat down beside him looking at him looking surprised at the request. "I... can do that. What we're doing? Are we going to do this again?" he asked confused. Did he want to do this again? After a moment's thought he decided he did. He also didn't want Snoke to know anything about it so he'd devote himself to helping Hux. "I promised to serve you..." he said looking at him. "I'll do whatever you ask me to." He could feel that strange flutter in his chest again but it wasn't a sick feeling this time. More of a satisfied feeling, knowing that Hux wasn't going to push him away.
Hux smiled at Kylo. "If you want to, Ren. If you liked it. Because I definitely liked it." He watched Kylo thinking about something, and he wished he had his ability to read thoughts for a moment. Then Hux felt a pang of satisfaction sweep through him. Good. He would need to ask him again at a later date, for a much more serious matter, but that was not now. He nodded, opening his arms. "Then I am your student."
Kylo hesitated a moment and then smiled back ducking his head in an almost bashful manner. He wasn't used to smiling. "I liked it to..." he said quietly. He thought for a moment then decided to teach him the easiest method, which was thought focus. "When I was small I was able to teach myself a pretty simple trick to keep my real thoughts hidden. It's called 'thought focusing'," he said glancing at him. "What you do is calm yourself and then concentrate on something as far from the thought your trying to hide as you can. So... if I'm... say... if I'm trying to hide the thought of having killed someone then I'll focus my thoughts on all the people around me who are alive. I'll think about the people I pass in the hallways, I'll think about their voices and their manners and what they do and that clouds out the other things," he said rubbing his hands slowly against his knees* Does that make sense?"
Hux listened closely as Kylo spoke, trying to picture what he had said in his mind. He nodded slowly. "I think so. Let's try it." Hux tried to think of a memory he could use as the thing he wanted to hide. He wanted it to be an emotional one, since the things he was doing with Kylo were emotional. He finally decided on the memories of being locked in the supply closet for days when his father was mad at him. He was small then, and he had cried and wondered if his father had forgotten about him as he sat in the closet. Hux then thought about something as opposite that as possible. Of course. There had been a meadow near his home when he was growing up, and he loved to just sit there on a rock and be at peace. It was so open and free there. "I'm ready," he told Kylo, trying to relax his mind. He concentrated on the meadow, the chirps of birds, and the smell of the grass, and the feel of the sun-warmed rock beneath him. But the closet kept breaking through, the fear that his father would never come back and he would lay in the dark forever, and he pushed it away, concentrating on the feeling when he ran through the grass, the freedom and the way the grass tugged gently at him.
Kylo nodded and reached out using the Force as a conduit to gently press at Hux's mind. Usually he was aggressive and forceful when reading minds but he didn't want to hurt the other man. Cautiously he felt around the fringes of his thoughts. He saw... green. Grass... a field... or a meadow. He could feel the warm sunshine, feel the breeze, and smell the earth. There was a sense of immense joy and freedom. There was something else there... a little deeper. A darkness. Fear. Loneliness. Rejection. Kylo frowned as the meadow shrank to a small enclosed space. He was trapped, forgotten, discarded. He was frightened... the green bled back through and he could smell the scent of flowers. He drew back shaking his head. "I saw... a field… it was open and pretty..." he said quietly looking down at his hands. "There was some kind of enclosed space... you were frightened... it kept bleeding through..." He looked at him wanting to ask but knowing he had no right to. "It was really good for your first try. I didn't do nearly that well the first time I did it."
Hux took a breath when he felt Kylo's touch leave his mind. That had been harder than he thought it would be. And more mentally exhausting. He listened to Kylo and felt an inner prickle of irritation at his failure. Still, he had to get this right. It was important Snoke not know what they were up to. He shrugged off Kylo's praise. He didn't need praise, he needed to get it right. "All right," he said, taking a deep breath to relax. "Let's try it again." This time, it was easier to keep the closet from his thoughts, it barely pushed through at one point and he firmly pushed it away.
Kylo nodded and reached out again gently probing his mind. "The meadow... the fresh green again filled his senses and he found himself smiling. Lowering his head he was so caught up in the memories of the natural beauty that the dark place was a passing shadow. It took him a moment to recognize it and then it was gone. He drew back looking at him. "Just the briefest hint... you're a fast learner..."
Hux exhaled a breath he didn't know he had been holding and laid back against the bed. "That was more tiring than I thought it would be," he said. "And harder. It seems so simple..." He broke off, shaking his head. "And yet it's not." He was developing a headache, and he frowned. He hoped he would be able to withstand the Supreme Leader's probing, but he felt as long as Snoke had no reason to mistrust him he would probably not probe too deep.
Kylo watched him and slid back on the bed turning onto his side and resting his head on his arm. "With time and practice you'll be perfect at it," he said. "Don't be afraid of Snoke... I can protect you," he said with a slight fierceness to his tone. The fact that he was willing to protect Hux over Snoke was a big shift in the knight's loyalties.
Hux nodded. "I hope so, Ren." He said. The lights were making his headache worse, so he called out, "Lights, 50%," and they dimmed. He sighed with relief as his headache somewhat lessened. Hux glanced over in surprise at Kylo. That was faster than he had expected. He considered telling Kylo his plan now, but he decided he would wait. Even though his declaration was a sign of progress, it wasn't quite far enough for Hux. He looked seriously at Kylo. "I know you will, Ren. I know you won't let anyone hurt me. And who would dare try to? You're stronger than anyone I know, Ren."
Kylo smiled slightly feeling pride in his strength and the fact that Hux acknowledged it. In a lot of ways he was still stuck... wanting acknowledgement, craving attention and approval and not knowing how to express it. When Hux fed his need without needing to be told this it had bonded Kylo to him with a fierce attachment. "No one who wants to live," he said watching him in the darkened room. "Do you want me to leave?"
Hux chuckled. "Exactly." He looked over at Kylo in slight surprise. "Why would I want you to leave? I never want you to leave." He sighed. "I know it's unrealistic, though." He reached out and pulled Kylo closer to him, just holding him. Even though he wasn't one for cuddling, he knew Kylo craved affection and he was prepared to give it as long as he got what he wanted in return.
Kylo hesitated just a moment before he slid over against Hux's side slowly resting his head against the ginger's chest. Closing his eyes he listened to the heartbeat, the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing helping him relax. "Thank you..." he mumbled.
Hux gently ran a hand through Kylo's hair. He had to admit it was nice to feel Kylo's head on his chest. "For what?" he asked curiously.
Kylo chewed on the corner of his mouth for a moment before answering honestly. "For not making me feel stupid or weak... sometimes I forget what it's like to let my guard down."
Hux ran his finger lightly down Kylo's face, tracing over his cheekbones and nose. "You're not stupid or weak. You're the most powerful man in the galaxy, Ren. No one would dare stand in your way, if they knew what was good for them."
Kylo smiled and tilted his head looking at him. "I'm not the most powerful man in the galaxy. You are. Because you can command me," he said taking hold of his hand. He kissed his wrist and then his palm resting his cheek against it.
Hux smiled at that.