Okay... It's that time of year again. My best cousin Mark will be coming back. Once in the summer and once and Christmas. It seems that that time has rolled around. And once again, I am still the same. I'm beginning to think it is a little sad. Not really sad, really freaking pathetic. It actually is quite embarrassing. Meredith is the same. She is still going to school and doing the same things. Isn't life about growing and prospering? Well, not for me, I guess.
So, you have to be wondering about Kevin. Well, let me start by saying, Kevin was a great guy. I mean unbelievably great. He was that guy that was always nice. He was never rude. He never mad you feel like shit or talk down to you. He was just a good guy. And yes, something came of it. Something did. Was it good? Who the hell knows.
After Kevin pulled away from my house, I hid. I ran inside and laid on my sofa, chiding myself for being such a pathetic little whore. See, I am a lot of talk. Me having that whole little fuck buddy experience with Derek... Yeah that was way out of character. I am a horny little bitch, but I am not a whore and I don't spread my legs freely. So there I laid, feeling filthy, so filthy that I couldn't even force myself into the shower.
Well, my filthiness stayed for awhile. Not because of the sex. It was the emotional part. I mean, like I said, Kevin was great. He was freaking nice as hell and I let him stick it in my pussy. Now I wonder what he was thinking. I wonder what he is feeling. No, I guess I really don't have to wonder. He is a guy. He isn't thinking a damn thing except what pussy to jump to next. But then again, Kevin was different. Maybe he was in a pile crying himself to sleep at the new void that was me. I swear, if he had done that, I never would have done it again.
Yes, you heard me. I did say it. Damn me. Shame. I hide my head in shame. I may have done it again. And again. I really couldn't even tell you how many times I did do it. I did it countless times. We did it many times. And it was not bad. How bad is it that is was not bad? I'm sure you are thinking that is is pretty bad. Oh well, It was good. you can't lie about a good fuck.
So, now I have admitted that I just may have fucked Kevin again. Or several times. I did say several time. And it was several times. Now you have to wonder how it came about. Now that is interesting. I had absolutely no plans on ever letting that cock hit me again. I actually did wash his number in the washing machine just as I assumed I would. No, I never called him. He actually called me. Once. That damn bitch Izzie gave him my number. Imagine my surprise. She was lucky I didn't go cage fighter on her and feed her to a human eating horse. I should have. I so should have.
So Kevin called me once as asked me to go out with him. Just hanging out. Friends, you know. And I can honestly say, I don't think he just wanted a piece of ass. We just got along like that. And so it started as hanging out. Of course hanging out turned to sex. And you will never believe this, but sex turned into some kind of relationship. I won't say dating. I don't date. It was something else. Lots of sex and some conversation. He was a lot of fun to hang around with. And of course I formed that dreaded attachment to him.
So this relationship, it did not last. Nothing ever lasts with me. I can't be blamed. I warned him. Right from day one, I said I couldn't commit. And when it came down to it, I could not. He wanted a lot from me and I found it impossible to give him anything more than ten percent of my total worth. Apparently ten percent wasn't enough. The sad thing is, it maybe could have worked. But it most definitely did not.
So it lasted a month. It really was a good month. Afterwards, I found out the truth. The truth was that Izzie had convinced Kevin that maybe I could commit. She really thought I could, and Kevin was hoping I would. It wasn't a conspiracy on his end. It was more of a hope for him. He really saw things happening, and it was so far from grasp, it wasn't even funny. So we ended it. It was mutual, and admittedly somewhat sad. I walked away without feelings. That is what I do. I wonder how long it will work.
I can't commit. I will never commit. I have no reason to. I don't trust anyone. I do not trust men. I never will. So I will be forever alone. I guess I need to find another Derek. But I am not going to find another Derek the way I am going. And I am not spreading my legs for some random bar guy. I guess I was hoping Kevin could fill that void, but he wants commitment. Why does he have to be such a damn girl?
Okay, so back to this. Mark is coming. Mark is coming here again. Why does that matter? Because Mark is fun. We find crazy ways to entertain ourselves and that is a damn good time. So that means I will be going back to my grandma's house and living that fake life. But I guess I can say one thing, the fake life is good if you get caught up in it. I mean they are so fucking happy, they don't even realized how fucked up they really are.
I know Derek isn't coming. Him coming at Christmas was a fluke thing. He didn't have anywhere to go so he was dragged to us. I am pretty damn sure that won't be happening again. In fact, I am sure that I will never see Derek Shepherd again. It is slightly sad. I loved this big thick cock. I loved the fact that he knew how to use it like no other. I really need to throw that out of my head. Nothing will compare. I need to erase it. No one can hold up to that sex, and trying to compare, that is just cruel.
--
So I have been sexless for five months now. Five months! Five moths is insane. It is crazy, right? I guess not. I mean, I may have been sexless, but I have not been vibrator-less. Or orgams-less. See, I am getting damn good with that thing. I am actually getting worried. Maybe it is a foolish thing, but I wonder what happens when you vibrate yourself to death? I mean, that thing has some power. I am getting seriously worried that I will desensitize myself. I don't want to do that. That would be bad.
My birthday is coming up. That is why Mark is coming. Well, Mark and my Aunt Claire. Right now, my uncle is actually working. That is a thing that never happens. He only works in the summer. Usually my aunt would fly in, but apparently Mark is driving her here. So that means they get to stay longer. I suppose that is a good thing.
"Grandma?" I yell as I walk in the house. I'm actually going to be nice. Mer, be nice. Sometimes if I repeat it enough, I actually heed my own advice. Notice I did say sometimes. It is usually never. I never actually use my own advice. I say I will, but I soon forget it. Very soon. "Where are you?"
"In the kitchen." She yells. You can barely hear her yell. I'm sure part of that is her age. I'm going to venture to say that most of it is the two pack a day habit she has going on. At this point, I am sure it is preserving her. If she quit, she may die. "You are here early." She says as I walk in. She is making roast. How homey.
"Eh... I guess so. I had nothing better to do." I say with a shrug. I actually can't wait to bug Mark. I love bugging Mark. Someday I will make him insane. And then I will poke him with a stick just for fun.
"Oh.. Well, that is nice. It is nice to see you! Would you like something to drink?" She asks me with a smile as she looks up. She always had to feed or get you a drink. She must served. She's damn lucky, I must be served.
"Oh, I'll have water." I tell her quickly. Water is just about all I drink. I swear when I drink soda I have heart palpitations and I feel like I am a sip away from a diabetic coma. I stay away from that poison. Sugar water. I like my water straight up. Plain.
"Right away." She says with a smile as she grabs a cup out of the cupboard. I am shocked when she doesn't ask me what size. I hate that. What size? Small medium or large. Like that makes sense. I don't want a shot of water, so the small is a joke. Anything else and I can either spill it out or I can refill. Or she can refill. Either way, who cares?
"Thanks." I mutter as she hands me the medium sized glass. I take a sip and set it down. I wasn't even thirsty. Maybe I just wanted to be served. I am bouncing around here in my won body. I'm wondering why I came early. So stupid and so not my style. No I am stuck here with nothing to do. And when I say nothing. I mean nothing.
"Not a problem. So how are you doing?" Grandma asks as she looks up. Like she cares. I am sure she does not care in the least. Oh well. She is just a big pain in the ask.
"Fine." I grumble. I made sure it was a good grumble. A don't ask me anything grumble. Leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered. Buzz off. All of that shit.
As I sit there, I look around for ways to off myself. I'm sure there is cleaning agents under the sink. Those could work. I'm not one for drinking gross things though. That would be hard. A knife. I could slit my wrists. I think I would go for the more dramatic choice of slitting my throat. More blood, more fun. Or of course, I could drown myself in the sink. That could be grand. Okay, that solves it. Many choices. Just as I bask in my suicidal glory. I hear the door open. Could be grandpa home from worked. Could be. Could be. But I think not. I think it is Mark.
"Well hello!" Grandma says with a smile as Aunt Claire walks in with a bag in her arms.
"How are you, mom?" Aunt Claire asks with a smile. They do that whole lovey huggy thing that makes me sick. It does make me sick. I would like to vomit. That means I have to get the hell out of there before I retch out my guts.
Where is he? I wonder, where is he? I quickly sneak away. I'm going to search this out. I wonder where he is. Just as I get to the hallway, I look out and see someone in the trunk of the car. No! Not in the trunk. Getting things out of the trunk. In the trunk, now that would be exciting. This is too easy. I contemplate running over and slamming the trunk on his head. That would just be mean. I think of something else.
I'm smart. I quickly hide behind the bushes. I'm going to get him. When he comes up, I will jump on his back and take him down. That will be a good time. Why the hell does Mark make me so damn immature? I have to wonder. It is pathetic. I'm worse than I was ten years ago. I have to say, I think I have the same effect on him. I make him just as stupid. And the family... They hate it.
I hear the loud footsteps of the creature. I can only imagine that is what size fifteen sounds like. Boom. Boom. On the pavement. He has no idea what I am up to. I am going to take him down and beat his ass. I crouch like a predator, ready to take down it's prey. Closer. I can hear him nearing. I see a leg. Just as it passes me, I pounce. I jump as I and as hard as I can, brining him to his knees and down in the dirt.
Okay, I should have been funny. It really should have been. I mean, I am laying here on his back, laughing my ass off. I so got him good. He may be taller, but unprepared, he doesn't stand a chance. I took him out. I took him down. Ha! I am the master. Was. Was the master. It isn't until he turns that reality sets in.
"Damn, Mer... Excited to see me?" He asks. And when I say he, I mean him. I mean Derek Shepherd. I am looking into the eyes of Derek, Freaking, Shepherd. Damn. And I think that is a very good damn.
"You came?" I ask, feigning disgust. I can't believe he came. I cannot believe he came all the way here. I can't believe he is on his belly, laying beneath me. "I can't believe you came here..." I say again. I think he must be tired of me laying on him, I feel his roll away and I am now on top of him. How, I have no idea.
"I always cum. You should know that." Derek says with a smile as he looks up. I feel a smile grow on my face as I look into those sparkling blue eyes.
"You do always cum." I agree with a giggle. Cum. Oh how that word can be flipped around and used in different ways. Such a delightful dirty word for my pleasure. "In fact, if remember, you cum a lot." I tell him with a smile. It is a dirty smile coming from a very dirty girl.
"I do have the ability to cum and cum." Derek tells me with a wink. "But I think you know that." Derek adds with a wink. I love the way that hard body feels beneath mine. I swear I can feel his massive manhood rising for me. He is so fucking perfect.
"I think I do." I giggle as I wiggle around on him. Now that I have him rising, I must keep him going. I love it. I love to play with his cock, knowing he can't do anything about it.
"That is not nice, Mer. You are not a nice girl!" Derek says in disgust.
"Oh god... Not already..." Mark says as he walks up. I have come to the conclusion that Mark is sexually frustrated. He needs sex. If he could just get some sex, he would quit whining and bitching about Derek and I. He would be fucking his own girl and not thinking that we have issues.
"Mark!" I say as I jump off of Derek and run to him. Do I hug him... No. I quickly run up and kick him in the ass. "Why did you have to come here?" I ask, acting as if I am pissed. I'm not pissed, I love it when he comes here, I just like to be a shit.
"You know know you love me." He laughs as he smacks me on the ass hard. Derek opens the door for Mark and they walk in. I am now walking into the hell dimension of happiness.
"So... Later?" Derek whispers in my ear as we walk. I can't believe he just said that. Hell yeah I can. I really can believe it. The thing is, I was thinking the same damn thing. So bad. So very bad.
"Oh... Yeah... I don't want to do that anymore." I tell him with a nod. Am I serious? Hell no. But I will never tell him that. The look of shock on his face is the funniest thing I have ever seen. It is like I killed him. I think he had high hopes, and here I am, ruining them. So fun. So great.
"What?" Derek asks in shock. He stopped walking. He literally stopped and is waiting for me to confront this little issue we are now having. I'm not stopping. I will let him stew This will be great.
"Meredith!" I hear my aunt Claire say as she wraps her arms around me, choking out my life. She is trying to kill me with love. I think I would rather die. "How are you? And where were you? Outside?" She asks as she looks around.
The dumb ass didn't even see me sneak past her dumb ass. I love it. I actually got free. Now if I had been smart, I would have grabbed Derek and snuck to the basement. And if I had been smarter yet, I would have stayed outside, never told grandma that I was here, and I would have taken him right down for my pleasure. I would have wrapped my legs around him and let him pound me to oblivion. Stupid. So Stupid.
"Yeah... I ran to my car. I guess I didn't know you were here..." I say with a fake smile. Not even a smile. Slightly less of a frown. "Sorry."
"Oh... Missed you." My aunt says with a smile as she releases me. Thank god she released me. I couldn't take the love anymore. I want to shoot myself. What was I saying before? Oh yes... Slice my throat.
"Yeah... I missed you too." I lie as I give her yet another fake smile. I hate these fake smiles, but I am getting so good at them. Unbelievably good at them. "I see you brought the two dumb shits." I grumble under my breath as I look over at them.
"Be nice..." I hear my aunt say softly. Such the peace keeper. And I am a fighter. I'm a trouble maker. And I love every minute of it. "These nice boys brought me all the way down here. Didn't you, sweethearts?" She mocks as she looks up. They both shake their heads and ignore her.
"So when are we eating?" I ask my grandma as I look over. I just want to get dinner done. I am more in the mood for dessert. Like a nice banana in my split. A nice Derek banana.
"Oh shoot... We are out of milk. Grandpa needs milk with dinner. Shoot." She says with a frown. "You know he will only drink whole milk..." She whines as she looks around. She wants my help. And damn it, I think I just may give it to her.
"Milk... I could go get milk." I say with a nod and a smile. Derek milk is my forte. I would love to take a sip of what he has to offer.
"You're getting milk? Shoot... I forgot some things in my bag... Mind if I come along?" He ask with a smile. I was hoping he could cum along. I am more than ready for him to cum along inside of me.
"Sure... I guess. Whatever." I say with a nonchalant shrug as I go to walk away.
"Mark, you don't want to go along?" Aunt Claire asks in shock, knowing that he loves to tag along with me.
"Not this time." He says as he shakes his head. "Not this time..." Smart boy.
I rush to the car. I need to rush to the car. I have a feeling I am actually leaking body fluids, namely cum, down my leg. I am sure there is a wet trail down the sidewalk and across the driveway. I quickly open my door and climb into the driver's seat. I'm not even asking if I am driving. I know I can get us there fast. I need to make up for lost time that will be used doing something much more fun.
"God, Mer... Are you in a hurry?" Derek asks as he climbs into the passenger seat of the Jeep. If he only knew. If he only knew just how long it had been. Long. So long.
"Well, yeah..." I say as if it was the dumbest question in the world. I am in a hurry. I'm in a hurry, and I am hoping he does not know why. It is so much more fun to tease him ad see the reaction on his face. "Grandpa needs milk. He will be home for dinner and he needs his milk." I tell him frankly. Oh it is so much more than that.
"And that's it?" Derek asks with a chuckle. I think he may know that is not it. But this is so much fun.
"Yes... Of course." I tell him as I glance over. At this point I am weaving in and out of traffic. Anything to cut down on time. "What else would make me hurry?" I ask with a giggle. It was a sarcastic giggle. I am so mean. I know I am.
"Oh... Okay." Derek answers as if he is satisfied. I know he is not satisfied. He cannot be satisfied. He has to want it as much as I do. If he doesn't, something is seriously wrong with him.
I smile as I pull into the parking lot. I never smile, but this warrants a smile. I am about ready to get a screaming orgasm and I cannot wait. The anticipation is killing me. I am so wet, I know I have come through my jeans If Derek took a swipe, he would feel it. People always fight for the closest spot. I don't really get it. I just park wherever and walk. By the time they squeeze into a spot that a little old woman struggled to get out of for ten minutes, I am rushing out of the store with everything I needed. Well, today I am parking far away. Far.
"Why are you parking all the way out here?" Derek asks with a laugh. I know why. He knows why. Not I can see it. He is rising. Definitely rising.
"Derek... Shut up." I growl as I start to wiggle around. I am so glad that I have slip on shoes on. Thank god. "I hope you have a condom." I say as I slide out of my jeans. I don't even plan on taking my panties off. I am in far too much of a hurry for that crap.
"Fuck yes, I do." Derek says exuberantly as he reaches for his wallet. "A nice fresh one with your name on it..." He tells me was he pulled out that gigantic thing. "But I thought we weren't doing this? I thought you were done..."
"Derek... When are you going to learn to shut your mouth and get what's coming to you?" I ask as I start to move to his side of the car.
Derek's eyes get wide as he unzips his jeans. I smile as I see that beautiful cock poke it's head out through his jeans. It even forced it's way through his boxers. The big guy has made himself known. You have no idea how much I missed that cock. I love that thing. At this moment, I miss it so much, I would definitely blow it. And not like before. Not with a condom. I actually want to taste his essence. But I have a feeling he is a whore and that cock has been taste testing all over the land.
"I'm ready for what is coming to me, baby. I'm always ready." He grins as he rolls the condom over his thick shaft. My mouth is watering, just knowing what is coming to me. I need it so bad, I feel my whole core tingle. I need him so bad, I can feel my wetness dripping and tickling my delicate folds. Derek quickly grasps me and pulls me all the way over.
"I need this." I tell him frankly as I look into his blue eyes. I don't care about anything at that moment but his manhood sliding into me. I can't wait for it. Derek grasps my panty-clad ass and squeezes tightly.
"You have such a tight ass." He says with a grin as he grips it. "I guess that's what riding does? Have you been riding a lot, Mer? Have you been fucking a lot of cock, my tight girl?" He asks with a grin. I think I see jealousy, but probably not. He has been getting his, and i have not been getting mine. "Climb on me... I want to show you what a real fuck is."
"I want to know what a real fuck is." I growl as I slide my panties out of the way and hold myself above his cock. I know my warm wetness is dripping down his awaiting cock. I know he can feel the heat. I giggle as he thrusts up and bumps my clit. He missed the hole. Shame on him.
"Show me, Derek... You show me what you have. We shall see if you measure up." I tell him with an evil smile. He does. I know he does. But this is a competition. I feel that as he rams himself deep into my core. He takes my breath away. I cannot breathe. "Ouch, you fucker!" I scream. I feel the pain ripping through my body at his entrance. I egged him on, and now I am suffering.
"Fuck... I don't remember you being so fucking tight." He groans as he pushes and pulls, thrusting his hips. He is doing the work at the moment. I should help him out, but I am in my own pain. "You are the tightest little thing. Damn..." He moans as he runs his hands down my back. I fight the urge to cum. I want to come right now. I need to blow. I need to ride the waves. "No kissing?" He asks with a chuckle as he looks up.
"No kissing..." I moan as I rock slowly on his iron rod. He is filling completely He is filling a void that I need filled so badly. "Oh god... I swear your cock is enormous. Ah... You are...damn. Not so deep." I say as I lift myself up gently, trying to keep him away from my cervix. Derek quickly lifts my shirt and starts pecking kisses on my chest. His head has disappeared once again and I don't care.
"You are amazing." He moans as he moves himself along with me. We are in perfect sexual rhythm, milking each other and filling out needs. I feel myself already tightening down. It was hard to rock before, but now he can barely slide, even with all the lubrication I have added. "Fuck...I shouldn't be... But I am ready to fucking blow." He grunts. I feel his member pulsating.
"Oh god... Me too." I admit as I rock as quickly as I can. I need to to come now. The wait is torture. I need it. "Fuck... Oh god... Oh yes... Oh my fucking- Oh god... Fuck me! Fuck me... Oh my...There... I'm cumming..."
"Oh god, Mer... Fuck yes... You tight little fuck! Fuck me... Come on, baby... You can do it... Fuck... Here. Oh fuck!" Derek groans as he shoots himself into the condom is hot spurts. I close my eyes and shake violently as I little swollen clit sounds it's alarm. My uterus and vagina start contracting violently around him. The waves are amazing. I could sit on this ocean forever. "Oh yes..."
"Oh..." I whimper as I sit there on his cock. He is amazing. I can give him that. "Oh yeah..."
"Wow... That was... I think we both needed that." He panted as he laid his head back and closed his eyes. I know I did.