Naruto and Sasuke crossed the street and entered the park. They sat down on an empty bench and began a short discussion.
"Alright, Otogakure is a small village. A speck on the map compared to Konoha. Therefore I'm willing to wager that the people who live here probably know each other fairly well" Sasuke explained.
"Yeah that's true, the residents of Konoha live like a family, even though it's a pretty big place. This village is much smaller and less populated so it's probably a more close-knit community" Naruto reasoned out.
Sasuke took out the picture of the target "And that works out perfectly for us. If the people here see some creepy motherfucker enter their village they might be a little suspicious"
He pointed to the picture "And this motherfucker certainly qualifies as creepy"
"Looks like Lady Luck is on our side. But wait, don't we seem kind of suspect ourselves. I mean we're two guys dressed in suits asking about a suspicious looking motherfucker in a photograph. People might be sort of uh hesitant to talk with us" Naruto said looking slightly unsure.
"Hmm let's just say that he committed a crime, some diabolical shit you know?" Sasuke said after a bit of thinking.
"Yeah that'll work I guess. They'll probably think we're FBI or some shit" Naruto chuckled.
They both stood up and surveyed the area for someone they could potentially ask. Naruto then pointed to someone "What about that guy?"
Sasuke examined the man. He had spiky brown hair, red markings on both cheeks and he was walking his dog. They approached him.
"Good evening sir, have you seen this man?" Sasuke asked, handing him the picture.
"Holy shit! Are you guys like CIA or something?" he asked, before looking at the photo.
Sasuke expressionlessly looked at him "…Yeah sure, whatever. Have you seen him?"
The man looked at the picture and then turned to Naruto, who was standing next to Sasuke "Dude is this guy like a fucking criminal or something. What did he do?"
Naruto stammered "Err he's a uh serial child molester"
Sasuke glared at his partner and then subsequently face palmed.
"A serial child molester eh? I had a feeling he was when I looked at the photo. He's got a great fucking head of hair though. I wish I could grow some shit like that" the man said nodding to himself.
Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in bewilderment "This motherfucker's crazy" they both thought.
"So um have you seen him around town?" Naruto asked once more.
The man handed the photo back to Sasuke "I'm sorry fellas I ain't seen shit"
Naruto frowned "Are you sure? Even the slightest bit of information could be extremely useful to us"
The man pondered deeply "Hmm well this guy has some pretty radiant hair, it's beautiful really. I'd say he uses Suave Professional Shampoo"
Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other again, however this time with an annoyed expression.
Naruto was the first to speak "Well buddy, I stand corrected. That was the single most useless piece of information that I have ever heard in my entire fucking life"
"Hey you said that any information would be helpful!" he retorted.
"Okay I'll just go and contact the fucking founder of Suave and tell him that-" Naruto yelled before he was interrupted by Sasuke.
"Thanks for your time" Sasuke said as he grabbed Naruto and dragged him away.
"What's your fucking problem?" Sasuke asked his partner.
"My problem is that dude was absolutely fucking useless!" Naruto replied.
"Fuck him, I'm not talking about his useless ass. Why in God's name did you say he was a fucking serial child molester of all things?" Sasuke asked once more.
Naruto shrugged his shoulders "I don't know, I couldn't think of anything else. It was just the first thing that came to mind"
"You literally could have picked any crime you wanted. But the first thing that comes into your head is a fucking serial child molester" Sasuke sighed as he took out a cigarette.
"Hey don't patronize me you asshole. You're the one who said 'diabolical shit'. And I think serial child molester is considered diabolical shit!" Naruto said in his defence.
Sasuke got a light from his partner and took a drag of his cigarette "Alright let's just move on and ask someone else"
"Okay let's ask a chick this time, they're more perceptive or some shit" Naruto advised.
Sasuke obliged and approached a blonde haired girl with blue eyes "Hello miss, have you seen the man in this picture.
"Hello handsome" she said before observing the photo "Sorry darling but I've never seen this man in my life"
"Is that so? Well thanks for your time" Sasuke said as he put away the photo.
"Why are you looking for him?" She asked.
"Umm he's err a uh… serial child molester" Sasuke stuttered, cringing internally.
Naruto turned to his partner with the biggest grin on his face, Sasuke ignored him.
"Sorry I can't help you. But I haven't seen your face around these parts. You're not from here are you?" The blonde enquired
"That's correct" Sasuke replied simply.
"Well do you have any plans for tonight?" she asked.
Sasuke raised his left hand revealing a ring on his finger "I'm married"
"So?" she replied playfully.
Sasuke smirked "Happily married"
The blonde smiled with him "Good luck with your search then" she said as she walked off.
***1 Hour and many questions later***
Naruto sighed loudly "We're having absolute shit luck. The sun is going down and we've figured out fuck all about our target"
A voice from behind them caught their attention "I could help you out". It belonged to a spiky haired man sitting lazily on a bench behind them.
They approached him and Naruto asked "What do you mean?"
"I've been here since you guys showed up and starting asking about that person in that photo. I caught a glimpse of the photo when you were showing it to that blonde dame" he explained.
Sasuke gave him the photo "You've seen this guy?"
"Yeah, I've seen him" he replied.
"Really! Do you know where he's staying?" Naruto asked excitedly.
"Unfortunately I don't. I only saw him once and he was just walking down the sidewalk" the man responded.
Naruto crossed his arms "Fuck! That means he could still be anywhere"
"Did he do anything, anything at all?" Sasuke questioned.
"He stopped to talk with three punks on the street" the man answered.
"Three punks?" Sasuke enquired.
"Yeah these three punks moved into one of the houses near mine not too long ago. And they had a lengthy discussion with that person in the photo that you're asking about." he explained.
"You said that they live near your house. Do you mind telling us where that is exactly?" Sasuke asked.
The man described to them where the three punks were staying.
"You're amazing man, thank you!" Naruto exclaimed.
"I've got one question though. Are you guys gangsters?" the man asked.
"What! No! Why would you even think that? We're uh FBI buddy" Naruto stuttered nervously.
Sasuke intervened, realizing that the man they were dealing with was quite keen "Yeah you're on the money"
"Who do you work under?" he enquired.
"Kakashi" Sasuke stated.
"Hatake?" the man asked.
"That's the one" Sasuke said.
The man nodded and with that Sasuke headed back to his car. Naruto looked at the spiky haired man a bit unsurely.
"Don't worry, I ain't no fucking snitch. If I wanted to I would've done it already" The man said as he stood up and left.
Naruto stared at him for a bit, he then turned the other way and jogged to catch with his partner.
"What do you think is going to happen when we get to that house?" Naruto asked when he caught up.
Sasuke glanced over at his partner momentarily before refocusing his gaze back in front of him "I don't know. But just make sure your gun is loaded"
***Author's Notes ***
Not much to say here. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The next one will probably be more gangster-ish but there will still be lots of dark humor
What can I say I love Neo-noir gangster, black comedy films. Pulp Fiction and Fargo are some of my favorite movies of all time.
See you in the next one!
-Cloud