Disclaimer: I don't own a thing
Title: Born for Bad Luck
By: Peanutbutter
"Boys I'm most done travellin', Lord I'm at my journey's end
B'lieve I'm most done travellin', Lord my journey's end
Well I been lookin' for me a good partner, bad luck is my best friend..."
(Born for Bad Lucksong by Brownie McGhee)
0o0
Chapter 20: Key To The Highway
"I've got the key to the highway
Yes I'm billed out and bound to go
I'm gonna leave here runnin'
'Cause walking's just too slow..."
(Key to the Highway by Broonzy – Segar)
0o0o0o0
John was somewhere between awake the the creeping fog of a slowly receding dream. His eyes fluttered. His breathing was loud in his own ears, then soft. His body felt heavy. He wanted to stay awake, but he was tired from the fight, wiped, and his mind, still in overdrive, had settled despite his better judgment. That had always been one of his better traits. In the danger room, at least, he was usually able to stay level headed, when he wasn't planning some sort of prank, and even then he was more focused than usual. He jerked. His hand flew to the edge of the bed. He pushed himself to wake, forcing the issue for only a moment longer his eyes opened to slits before darkness slid around him and sleep descended once again.
Something banged. John jerked to an upright position his arms flying to cover his face. He was expecting a flash of light, an alarm, Magneto's voice. He blinked pushing the sleep out of his mind, trying to remember whether or not it was okay for him to be asleep. His arms settled into his lap. He blinked, a hazy dull light was leaking into the room, but other wise it remained dark. The dream faded, he slowly realized where he was. He wasn't sure which was worse, the reality or the dream.
"What dis?"
John blinked forcing himself to become aware when his body was still swimming on sleep. Remy swam into view back blacked against the light in the doorway. The person standing in the doorway was a complete silhouette. He moved to the edge of the bed thankful for the darkness, he could make all the faces he wanted. He winced, curled his lip, and squinted when that hurt worse than a neutral face.
"No time to explain."
John's feet touched the floor and he focused on the silhouette. He knew the voice, but how could it be her, in the middle of the night no less. Surely she wasn't there for another touch. John ignored the sting of cold against his bare feet. He squinted as he pulled up beside Remy.
"Here."
Something was hurdling toward his face. Quick reflexes saved him from re injuring the nose. Even with his quick, yet sleepy reaction, the bundle was only an inch from his nose when he caught it. All he needed was for it to start bleeding again. His hands clasped the heavy canvas, a tote. His fingers fumbled for the zipper. His fingers fumbled for the zipper.
"What the hell," he managed when his eyes finally adjusted and he could see Rogue properly. "What is this?" It was full his clothes, a few notebooks, shoes, socks, a lighter. His eyes focused on the lighter. Screw why. His fingers closed over the shiny metal and a calm washed over him. He hadn't realized that his powers were returning until that moment, hot and wild they rushed over him, as comforting as a warm bed and a good nights sleep. His fingers itched to try the lighter.
He shouldn't. They were obviously on some sort of time table, Rogue, whatever it was she was doing he was sure nobody else knew. Ignoring his common sense, a trait he all too often did, he flicked the lighter to life. The flame danced from the lighter to his finger tips, tip toeing across them. He grinned.
"Well hello there," he whispered more to himself than anyone. Unfortunately he wasn't alone. A hand, long slender with darkly painted nails pushed the lid of the lighter closed. The flames on his fingers died. "Bitch I was just..." he started, but she turned away, rolling her eyes like he was the one being stupid. Hell, he'd just woken up.
His eyes flicked to the Cajun he was flexing his hand but hadn't indulged. John was sure he felt it too. The hollow pit was gone. Once again he was whole. He grinned. No matter what the new day was shaping up to be better than the last few.
"What all dis stuff, petite," Remy asked, still rummaging through the bag. He half pulled a trench coat out of the duffel, a sappy look crossing his face, before he stuffed it back in. John smirked at least he was reacting to being able to kick ass again, Remy was about to cry over a fashion accessory. He started to comment on it, but Rogue broke in silencing his teasing line of thought.
"It's your stuff." Rogue answered.
Hurrah for the obvious John thought.
"...or what Ah could get. We don't have much time before..."
The light outside the room turned red, flashed, seconds later an alarm blared overhead. John covered his ears. Next to him Rogue did the same, but Remy remained calm, arms at his side, bag already across his back, just like it was a walk in the park. Well except for the bruises marring in face. Eye blackened, lip swollen, pale skin, dark circles, he looked like he'd been sleeping the park not taking a stroll. He was glad he couldn't see himself. He was sure his entire face was blue.
"What the fuck." John called over the blaring hands still pressed to his ears. Nobody seemed to hear him. To be honest he couldn't hear himself.
Rogue looked over her shoulder, wide eyed but not overly concerned. She mumbled something that was lost in the blaring siren.
John shook his head and leaned toward the black clad mutant. She was dressed like she was in the black ops. She pulled away, but he grabbed her arm. Stiff as she was she held still while he leaned close to her ear. "What the hell's going on?" he whisptered.
She turned toward him, flashing a smile, a dangerous one the tension in her body relaxed and his grip loosened. It wasn't the reaction he was expecting. She didn't waste any time pulling away. She was still sensitive about that, probably more so now. He straightened either that or he looked worse than he felt and he didn't imagine that was really possible.
She was still grinning. He knew that smile. It was her 'lets break the rules' smile. He'd only had the privilege of seeing it twice on miss the-rules-are-there-for-a-reason-we-must-always-follow-them. Usually the 'your so immature for doing that' was the smile he'd seen, or the 'oh Bobby', smile which still made him gag. Rogue was up to something, but it was bigger than 'lets sneak out' or his ever favorite line that still shocked him to this day 'you got any liquor'.
That one had thrown him for a loop and despite his indignant protest against the fact he did and they drank it, the three of them. Piss poor drunk giggling, making too much noise to be ignored she'd let it slip that she'd been told her mutation was of all the crappy words 'mutating'. She laughed in a half sob that maybe now she'd just have to be in the room with people before they dropped dead. He'd felt sorry then, sorry he'd been staring at her tit, sorry that he couldn't do more than get her tanked, and sorrier even that Bobby pulled her close comforted her, when all he could do was fill her glass.
She leaned toward him arms held behind her back, her breath coasting across his ear. He was still, remembering her red rimmed eyes. He guessed Remy had hit him in the head during the fight. It was the only way he could explain that wavy of sympathy that rushed over him, and he resisted the urge to touch her arm even though she pulled away from him.
"Ah'm getting' ya out of here." She announced. She grinned wider, as his expression. Her eyes an unwavering green of absolute confidence flashed. John squinted unsure of what he'd seen. For a second he was sure he saw blue swimming in them. Before he could examine the phenomenon further she leaned toward Remy, telling him the same.
Though she'd been rigid around him her stance seemed to relax next to the Cajun. It was odd. Her fingers never made a move to touch him and his never inched toward her, but something told him she wasn't nearly as adverse to Remy touch as she seemed to be to his. Then again he didn't try to touch her.
At the finish of her whispered words Remy lifted to full height and Rogue started to jog down the hall way. John stood watching for a moment longer before following his eyes glued to the girl who had been so many things to him: a friend, an enemy, a captive, a rescuee, and now a rescuer. It was too much for an early waking and way to much thought with that damn blaring siren.
His body ached with each step and his bare feet slapped heavily against the linoleum floor as he forced himself to follow. He'd wished he'd taken the time to pull on the shoes in the tote, but there wasn't time or so he assumed. She didn't run for long, about 300 feet, before she stopped, feet nearly sliding and dropped to her knees, her fingers working the screws on a wall vent. Remy dropped to his knees to help. There was no room for him so he stood back. He watched her fingers fly to the second screw, obviously pre loosened. She did the first three, Remy the last three before they both stood. She waved the Cajun in. He didn't hesitate but hunched over, his back touching the top of the vent as he forced himself in. Rogue waved at him to go next.
Tossing the bag over his back and running his arms through the shoulder straps he followed. Oddly enough, the piercing alarm was deadened quite a bit by the metal walls. His ears were still ringing, but he could hear his own breathing. It was a relief. Rogue scrambled in behind him. He could hear her pulling the grate back into place. There was no way the screws could be replaced from the inside, but somehow the grate held. She turned around, a feat, in the cramped vent.
"We can talk a little." She spoke when she was facing him, well mostly she was facing his ass. "No one will hear us in here, plus we're gonna hafta wait a bit before we get out."
"Not that I don't appreciate this," John spat and forced his body into a crouch so he could see her, hunching his back he was able to sit down, his neck protested the bend, his sore muscles complained. All of which made him more pissed, "but what the hell is this." The pack did little to cushion his spine, in fact something hard and flat was jabbing him in the back, probably one of the notebooks. The crawl space was dark, only bits of light crept in through the grate, flashing bright neon that made his head ache. He would have put on his shoes but he couldn't move his arms to his pack.
Remy was silent, too silent. John gritted his teeth. He didn't like being out of control. He didn't know how the Cajun didn't have more of a protest. They were walking blind, following a girl that didn't exactly have a reason to like them.
Rogue was surprisingly chipper. "Remy tell ya that Ah touched you?"
John nodded, catching her face on a flash of light. She said it like it was a wonderful thing. He was pretty sure she'd seen his nod, but he answered aloud as well, "Yeah, could have asked."
She shrugged, shoulders barely moving. "Ah had to know, that you weren't going to do anythang."
"Like set the school a blaze?" John sneered something poked him in the side. The sharp jab sent a jolt of pain through his back when he jumped.
"...the hell Lebeau," John protested but a flash of red let him see the Cajun's face. It was the same look he'd had right after his fight with Bobby. Remy was telling him to shut up. Like he needed that lecture. He could keep his mouth shut, besides she knew he was full of it. She'd looked after all and that was disturbing enough. There was stuff in his head he didn't really want her poking into. He didn't want anyone walking around there, but himself and even sometimes he didn't want to be there.
"Ah needed to know what you were thinking. The Professor won't look without permission and neither one of you were willing, so it was just your word, and well around here that doesn't amount to much."
John snorted, Remy grunted some sound of acknowledgment.
"Ah just took a peek." She conceded as if she was apologizing even though they hadn't asked her to. "To clear you, to get them to let you go."
"So dat wasn't good enough," Remy asked, speaking for the first time since they'd crawled into the vent.
Rogue was silent, for a moment, the alarm pounded on John's ears. He closed his eyes against the blinking light. He felt like he was at a rave, but the good drugs were missing. The strobe was starting to make him sick.
Rogue laughed, short, but obviously involuntary, "Ah saw enough to know that you were no harm to the X-Men but everyone else,"
John was sure she was grinning near laughter again. A good joke he was sure. He just wished he was in on it. He should be, after all whatever was making her laugh had come form his head.
"Everyone else I couldn't be sure of."
"You didn't tell dem?" Remy asked, though John was sure it wasn't really a question. So there was another reason for that grin. She'd lied and broken the rules. His little criminal in training.
"No," she was sober again, grin gone by the tone of her voice. John chanced a look at her. She was straight faced in the red light. She looked at her watch. "We need to move. I'll tell ya more later."
John twisted himself into a crawling position. His neck thanked him, his knees yelled obscenities at him. He was pretty sure there was a big bruise on his shin and under his right knee cap, a smack from the broken bed frame. He gritted his teeth and though he'd forgiven Remy for the fight, nearly thanked him for it, he started to change his mind. Each shuffling step was agony. Over his shoulder Rogue whispered directions. It didn't take him long to figure out where they were going, somewhere in his mind he knew it was familiar. The alarm stopped by time they reached a new grate and his suspicions were confirmed. So she hadn't forgotten his escape route. He wondered if the two of them had ever used it after he left. He didn't really want to know the answer to that.
0o0o0
Remy slipped from the grate at Rogue's whispered order. She told him to be careful, the place should be clear, but she wasn't positive it would be. He scanned his surroundings briefly before he flipped out of the grate lowering himself toward the floor. His arms shook with the effort it took to hold himself up. He nearly let go when a sharp pain pierced his side. He gasped, small and brief but audible.
"You get shot?" John whispered from above grinning through the mock seriousness. He sounded delighted at the prospect.
Remy looked up trying to decide whether or not he should respond, but another pain raced up his arm making his fingers tingle. His left side went numb. His hand let go, his right followed and he tried to best to salvage the fall and land as lightly as possible. His bad leg hit first, despite the short drop it gave way. Too much pressure. His knee buckled and struck the concrete hard. He bit his lip pushing his cry of pain away. He reminded himself he'd been through worse and softened the landing of his other leg. His bag slipped off his back and down his arm smacking loudly on the concrete. Somehow he remained up right. His body burning he gathered the bag and forced himself upright. He was standing between a large white van and a blue convertible. Even in the dim light he could see it was packed with cars. Under different circumstances a very wealthy prospect. Then again he had never been into car jacking. Rogue had led them to the garage.
John landed nearly silent behind him. Rogue just as quiet, her feet hardly making a noise on the hard floor, followed. There was something to be said for X-Men training. Remy re shouldered his pack shifted his weight off his throbbing leg.
"So," John announced voice no longer hushed. It echoed through the empty garage rebounding off the cars and concrete walls. "You planning on sneaking out for some beers?"
Rogue brushed past him, ignoring that statement. "Everyone should be in the yard. We have to wait until they filter back in, then we have about five minutes to get out the gate before they're locked down again."
"Five minute lag," Remy repeated more to himself than her, "what for?"
"Um," she slipped a set of keys out of her pocket. "Fire alarm. Ah tripped it, sent the students into the yard, teachers, everyone. The system is automatic. After the alarm they reset the system. It takes about three minutes to reboot, the front gate it the last to go online, Kitty tells me it's about five minutes before everything is back to normal. It takes a minute to get out of the drive if you're going forty." She paused and pressed the button on the key chain the lights on a small Volkswagen flashed.
"How about we take the viper," John piped up.
"Please John, this car is better it's..."
"Practical?" John snorted. "It's the worst one in the entire garage!"
"Ah was gonna say it's mine," Rogue hissed, "and it's practically new."
"You're givin' us your car?" Remy asked and looked her over. Her eyes cast to the side and she shuffled her pack. His stomach turned uncomfortably. There was no way she was thinking what he was thinking. It wouldn't work. There was...
John hadn't caught on, still ranting about that choice in car.
He wasn't sure after all. Licking his suddenly dry lips he looked at her drawing her away from John's attention. "Won't de come lookin' for us. Sure de X-Men won't leave prisoners to dere death."
She shifted. John quieted. "Ah kinda locked Hank in his office."
"How'd you do that?" John asked attention diverted from the issue of car choice.
"Ah changed the codes, or, well," she paused a moment, "or mostly Kitty did, but Ah just borrowed a little knowledge while she was sleeping." She looked away eyes resting on the Volkswagen. "The things that girl thinks about, Ah mean seriously they should be worried..." She trailed off.
Maybe she sensed his eyes on her. Somehow he knew just what she was planning.
"Ah know what your thinkin'." She defended though he hadn't said a word.
"Dat may be." Remy started and reached for a pocket, hoping for a smoke, but he'd forgotten he didn't have on his coat. He really needed a smoke, because what she was asking. He couldn't do. "Know dis mind a little, perhaps, but you don' know it all, you don' know everything."
"They'll know it was me," she shook her head, "not that it matters, but Ah can't stay here."
It was more than a statement. It was a plea. Did she know what she was giving up, this girl. He watched her face. She was struggling to say more. She watched him like he should know her struggle, but he didn't he hardly knew himself. As always John broke the silence, crass, and loud, he never was one to disappoint. He voiced what Remy could not.
0o0o0o0
"No way in hell," John spat. "You're not coming with us."
John couldn't believe what she'd just said. Come with them? It was ridiculous. Why the hell did she want to do that.
"Sorry, petite, but you're out voted. You're not coming wit us."
At least Remy was on his side. The Cajun took a stance of nonchalance against the car his arms crossed over his chest. He suppressed a wince at the movement and John wondered briefly how bad the fall out of the grate had been.
"Ah'm risking everything for you guys. Ah'm going." She planted her feet and gripped the keys in her fist. "That's the deal. You want out you take me with you."
"Why?" Remy asked before John could say anything. "You got a place, dis your home right? Why'd you want ta leave dat?"
John watched her, waiting for her brilliant answer. They were wanted by Sinister, the damn surviving Mauraders, not to mention the the police, the X-Men. Why in the hell would she want to go with them?
She was silent for a moment eyes darting toward the ceiling. She shrugged. "Not my home anymore."
It was a lie. He admittedly didn't know her as well as he had once thought, but he knew enough to know she was lying. Her eyes were everywhere, her feet shuffled, her fingers shook. She was a horrible lier, but she always had been. time they'd, Bobby, Rogue, and himself, snuck out and gotten caught coming back in. They had a story to cover, but she'd flubbed the entire thing, unable to lie convincingly.
"Right," he spat. She couldn't go. She wasn't like the two of them. She had a place to go. She needed the institute, she needed to be as far away from the two of them as possible. They'd screwed up bad enough with her, nearly getting her killed. Why would she ever think it was a good idea to throw in with the thief and the traitor?
"That's believable, when you've been stuck up the Professor's ass the entire time I've known you." John watched her eyes narrow further. Her cheeks heated in anger. He wasn't done. Let her see what they were about. That he was still who he always was and that she was just what she had always been. He folded his hands under his chin and put a goofy smile on his face. "'He wants to help. He just wants to give us a home.'" he mocked in a sickingly sweet voice. "He really cares about us." He dropped his folded hands and sneered. "Don't lie Rogue, I know you. I know you'd never leave your little flock."
"Fuck you John." She wasn't crying, but her arms shook. Her fists were balled.
John pretended to shake. So he'd coaxed the 'F' word out of her. "Those words," his whispered, "just hurt so much. Not to mention dear little Rogue just where did you learn language like that?"
"Sometimes..." she started unballed fingers shaking her face red.
"What?" he asked. "Sometimes I'm a real asshole?" He laughed even though nothing was funny. "I've always been an asshole. I haven't changed."
Her face fell. Her cheeks lightened. What had he said to make her calm down. He narrowed his eyes and added, "Bitch." She calmed even more, the shake leaving her. The tension he'd been working so hard to build washed away with one word. What the hell?
"John," she paused, voice soothing, "you don't have to do this."
He stepped back, uncomfortable. "Dammit Rogue just get your ass back to the X-Men."
"Ah'm coming."
"We can ditch you any time, cherie. You leave wit us we don' have to keep you." Remy said, still leaning against the car, still the picture of calm.
"Take me as far as your first stop, if ya'll are sick of me, Ah'm out." She shifted her pack, eyes on Remy's, like she expected something from him. John watched the Cajun's face, but he didn't seem to see what John did. He was impassive. "Ah can't stay here anymore."
Her voice was so raw he had to look at her again. Her fingers were still, but white her grip on the key deadly. She was pleading. Rogue didn't beg.
"Please."
But now she was. He thought she was better. He'd heard she'd gotten over the whole incident, but he should have known better. As much as the two of them attracted trouble, Rogue attracted guilt. There was no way she could let a life go, especially one she'd taken. Did he want to see her crying for mercy. Mercy from him. He didn't want to argue anymore. He turned to Remy. "I'm driving."
Remy raised a brow.
Rogue was silent.
He couldn't look at her, tell her that he didn't care anymore. If she needed to get away, who was he to stop her. He'd run too. If she didn't go with them she'd go by herself. John started to speak again when he noticed Remy's stance shift from casual to defensive. He turned his head and cursed under his breath. They'd waited too long, or were too loud, either way bad luck wasn't done with them yet.
0o0o0o0
She didn't think she'd have to look at him, at any of them ever again. His grip was like ice. She could feel the frost of his touch through the sleeve of her shirt. She didn't want to turn. Rogue bit her lip forcing her teeth not to chatter, despite the chill creeping over her body from Bobby's frosty skin. His fingers tightened.
"Rogue."
It wasn't a question. He tugged. Despite her planted stance she stepped back.
"Hey!" It wasn't a greeting. "She say she wanted to go with you?"
Rogue eyes shot up. John was back, no longer busy fighting over who was going to drive. He was stalking toward them hand already tight on the lighter she'd stashed in his duffel. She really should have skipped that. Remy was just a step behind, casual though the way his eyes skipping over the scenery said more about his state of mind. If Rogue hadn't seen, hadn't heard his voice whispering words of comfort, confidence while she struggled to stay herself she would have been fooled. Gambit was all about illusion. He let you see what he wanted you to.
John was burning. Heat rolled off him, his own personal heater even though his powers were unable to call the fire without a starter. John was built inside and out for the flames he controlled so readily. Rogue held up her hand hoping to halt him, but he merely raised a brow at her raised hand, acknowledging but ignoring the gesture. Just what had happened to his extreme protest to her coming minutes ago. He didn't even glance at her upturned hand, eyes focused on Bobby. Remy was just as hot, electricity jumping off him in similar yet less substantial waves. They weren't going to back away. Not when John wanted just what Bobby didn't, and not when Remy had a loyalty streak a mile long.
"This isn't about you Allerdyce, at least not yet," Bobby spat fingers tighter, pulling harder. Her sleeve crackled.
"Really, this time I think it will be a fair fight." Flames sprung into his palm, cards were suddenly alive in Remy's hand.
"Stop," she snarled yanking her hand out of Bobby's quickly freezing grasp. She didn't want another fight. She was hoping to sneak out quickly, quietly, secretly. For the moment they froze, not literally, but John let the flame die, and that bright pink glow faded from the cards. She gathered her courage, which was fading and turned around.
Somewhere in her head a few people were shuffling, turning from inside their homes and watching. Remy more solid since the last she touched him and John were whispering. It was too strange to have them in front of her and in her mind at the same time. Bobby, oddly was absent.
"Bobby," she sighed her words rushing from her throat as soon as she looked at his face, his tortured blue eyes said more than he did. He was confused and completely clear at the same time. He knew. He just didn't want to face it. Rogue forced herself to stand up straight.
"Did they do this?"
It was a stupid question, a formality, an out. "No, Bobby, Ah'm makin' sure they get out of here."
"Rogue," he hissed, "they're the enemy."
"Bobby," She forced herself to look him in the eye. "Just go back to the house."
His brow furrowed, "So you let them go. This is how you protest, dammit Rogue they kidnapped you! Not to mention the Morlocks, all those people..." he trailed off running out of steam.
"It isn't just about that." She whispered and she wanted to pull him close to ease his pain, but this time it wasn't about anybody else.
Bobby stepped closer, Remy and John shuffled behind her.
"Then what is it!" He wasn't finished after all. "What makes it okay to break the prisoners out? What makes it okay to leave with the enemy! They're the enemy Rogue! Don't make..." His fist balled at his sides hardened. He turned eyes toward the ceiling. "Don't make," he paused his voice loosing steam again.
She knew the sound. She remembered his whispered anger after they'd left his parents house, after John had left. He was hurting. His frozen hands slammed into the Jeep just to his right. The sound was enough to make her jump. Heat exploded behind her back. Fire crackled, an electric sizzle reached her ears. Bobby ignored them both, jaw clenched eyes still staring at the ceiling.
"Don't make me fight you, too." The words rushed from his mouth a forbidden whisper. His shoulders shook, his eyes glazed as he turned to face her again. His iced fist was melting back to flesh. "I will." He whispered, "I'll fight you all if I have to."
Always the hero, always the right thing, even when what was right was very, very wrong. She caught glimpses of John and Bobby years before there last meeting. She saw Bobby at his worst, turning his best friend away, lacking sympathy, a heart, a conscience. How he'd felt afterward should have told him the decision was wrong, but Bobby didn't see shades of gray. There was only right and wrong. She didn't have to look into his mind to know how he felt about it. She knew because he had come to her that night, broken, confused, and guilty over something he would never confess to her. She knew know what had nearly shattered him.
He was breaking again and this time she was the one doing it. She bit her lip and shook her head.
"Ah don't wanna fight ya Bobby."
"But we will," John piped up delighted by the turn of events.
Rogue whipped around eyes hard on his. "St. John shut up and get away from us."
He frowned, looked murderous for a moment before his eyes flicked back to Bobby, his original target. "The icecube can't be trusted."
Rogue swallowed and stepped toward her two strange bodyguards. She pushed John and grabbed Remy's arm turning him back toward the car. "Both of ya, go Ah'm fine."
"I'm not leaving." John protested, eyes fixed on Bobby.
"John," Rogue snarled and pushed again, he planted his feet, fire flashing across his palm, up his arm. Rogue jumped back. Bobby stepped up.
It was going to end in a fight. So much for her plan. The two former friends could look at nothing but each other, until Remy's hand gripped John's shoulder tugging his attention away.
"Dis way homme, give de femme a minute."
His calm voice was like water over his flame. He deflated a bit, and backed away.
Remy turned toward her, "You need us chere you call." He turned pulled John with him, just out of ear shot.
"What's wrong?"
Such a simple question, such a complicated answer. She couldn't explain it to him.
"Nothing," by the look on his face she could tell he didn't believe that. She shook her head despite his denial, "Ah can't," he knew her well enough to know she was lying, but not enough to know she was drowning. "Bobby believe me when Ah say I'm better off with them." She didn't know if it was true, but the explanation was better than the truth.
"Bullshit," he spat brow creasing, "Bullshit Rogue, running with a thief and traitor, somehow I don't think that's better.
"Dammit Bobby," she couldn't tell him how much it hurt to stay, better off or not she couldn't live with the X-Men anymore. It was enough to bring tears to her eyes, but she pushed the lump out of her throat. She wasn't going to cry. "Ah'm not turnin' against you. Ah just need to leave!" Why couldn't he let her go?
"Why? Why them? Why can't you work it out here?"
Too many questions, too many answers that she didn't want to give. How come he only saw gray areas where she was concerned, where it wasn't deserved.
"Bobby..."
"Have you even asked for help? I'm here, your friends are all here!"
That was the problem, "Bobby..." she tried again, but he wasn't listening.
"I know you absorbed that girl."
Her heart constricted.
"That she's dead. I know that, it doesn't matter."
But it did matter. 'Ah killed her,' her mind whispered the words too intimate to speak aloud. "Ah had to lock her up to be myself. Ah made the decision, but Ah can't be okay with it."
"You're still part of the team. It's not your fault."
'Not my fault. Not my fault," her heart raced, her mind raced faster memories flying across her mind that were not her own. 'Ah keep her locked away. Ah promise to leave her alone, but Ah can't.' Her palms were sweating. She clenched her fist, loosened her hand, clenched it again. Her skin crawled with prickling heat, her chest was too tight. She couldn't breath.
"Just forget it, nobody cares..."
Her breathing hitched. She tried to suck in air, fill her lungs, but it wouldn't come. Her fingers danced at her side. Carol screamed in the back of her mind. She was falling. Her control was slipping. This time nothing could stop it. Bobby was still speaking, but his words didn't reach her ears. He didn't know she was slipping away. No one did.
'Rogue.'
She jumped, her mind hiccuping at the intrusion, but her body remained still. Her fingers moved faster.
'Rogue you must take control. You cannot let yourself loose control.'
Control? She'd never been able to control her powers. Her entire life was about her lack of control. She couldn't do it.
'Rogue listen to my voice. Just follow my voice.'
Follow, she could do that.
'It's the Professor. Can you do what I tell you?"
She felt a tremor rush up her spine. She blinked. 'Ah'll try.'
'Breathe.'
She pulled the air in. Her lungs expanding before she was even aware she'd done it. Her chest ached.
'You mustn't dwell on Carol. Let her go. You're are only making what you wish to avoid worse. Release her.'
The request was harder to comply with. She focused on the image of Carol, frozen in screaming horror, sobbing. Guilt stabbed her gut. Slowly she pushed her away, forcing the guilt out of her mind. The girl faded the guilt with it. The pain was no longer stabbing, but dull.
'Why does this keep happening?' Rogue whispered. She closed her eyes willing it away and found herself in the pleasant scape of her mind. The wind was blowing, the grass was brushing against her legs and the Professor was sitting the the middle of it smiling solemnly.
'Rogue you are not yet healed. You do not have full control. I had hoped to work with you. To help you come to terms with the things that had happened. I believe there might be true progress coming very shortly.'
How many times had she heard those same words. It wasn't fair to say they had been lies, but they were never enough, not for what she wanted in life. 'Ah can't stay here anymore.'
He hung his head and turned away from her. She was sure she had never seen him look so sad and disappointed at the same time.
'All of you are like my children. I don't wish to see you suffer, but sometimes,' he turned back toward her, 'sometimes it cannot be helped, not matter how much I try to stop it. I don't think leaving is the right choice, but as always,' he smiled faintly, 'it is your choice.'
'And them,' as the words left her mouth their bodies wafted into view, vague representations, but solid enough. John looked bored, a little pissed, Remy waved mockingly at the Professor offering a fake salute. 'What about them.'
'I planned to let them go. I had my own reasons. I just wished to offer them a place to stay. It was not to be,' he paused, 'emotions are too high, it is not the time to ask them to come back. I've missed St. John since the day he left, regretted his deflection, his choices, but have always hoped he would return. In a fashion he did. I believe he has turned a corner, and even if I cannot help...' He trailed off.
Rogue was silent as she watched him. She knew the Professor cared, but perhaps she didn't know how much. 'And Remy?'
'Him I know nothing of. His mind is blocked to me. He is not even aware of that power.' Xavier shook his head. 'He is another I cannot help. If you believe him to be sincere I have always trusted you judgment.'
Her heart soared at the compliment.
Xavier smiled broader, 'Rogue you must realize that you have always been dear to me, trusted, special, as are all my X-Men enlisted or not. If you wish to leave, you may go, companions in tow, but remember you are always welcome back home, them as well.'
Rogue smiled despite the tears building in her eyes. 'Ah should have talked to yah," she sniffed, "Ah should have talked to yah about everything.'
He waved his hand in dismissal. 'It is no matter. You are speaking to me now. I've had my chance to say goodbye and to offer you sanctuary, not matter the circumstances. I worry about your control. That is my only real complaint, other than my own personal feelings. If you need me I will be there. Remember how to control your mind.'
'Ah'll try.'
Suddenly he was right in front of her fingers on her cheek, brushing the tears from her cheeks. She would miss him, she would miss everybody so much. She gasped, 'Tell Logan Ah said goodbye. He won't understand.' she shook her head. 'He always told meh bye. He saved me...' she trailed off. 'He knows doesn't he? That Ah love him like my, he's been...' My father. She couldn't say the words. They were too personal. 'Tell him for me.'
'Dear Rogue, Logan will be angry, but he will still care for you. I will tell him of your decision, and I am sure he feels the same way about you.'
His hand dropped to her shoulder. 'Now you must go back.'
'How?'
He smiled open your eyes Rogue. She did.
Remy swam into view, he was cradling her shoulders his fingers warm and strong on her body. She should pull away, he was too close, but he was smiling at her. A bright half smile and his voice wafted to her and it was too nice to hear his words of comfort in person, better even than the Remy in her head.
"You alright, chere?" His fingers brushed her hair his nails barely grazing her cheek.
She nodded, still dazed and sat up. Her face was wet, eyes burning. The crying had been real. She heard a crash to her right and immediately bolted to her feet. Bobby and John were fighting, again.
"Started at it as soon as you cut out and fell. John jumped on 'im, said it was the iceboy's fault." Remy was poised to join. "Guess if you're alright I'd better break dem up, eh?" He raised a brow. Rogue held his arm stopping him. She didn't want anyone else fighting. "Dere somet'ing more pressing?" Remy asked. He seemed annoyed.
"Ah just," she started when John and Bobby both froze in mid punch.
"Well dat was unexpected." Remy whispered.
Rogue didn't have time to look at him. She rushed for the two fighters.
'I will only hold him until you leave. Remember to tell us how you are. Goodbye Rogue.'
"Thank you." she answered aloud.
"Dat wasn't me, chere," Remy voiced from her side his fingers pressed into the still, silent statue of John. "So we gonna put dem in scandalous positions? I'm t'inking dat John just needs a big hug from de popcicle."
He was joking, she was sure, but he sounded serious. She started to protest when John came back to life. His face fell to normal and his raised fire covered fist disappeared. He blinked.
"What the hell." he started, but stopped his head cocked to the side.
Rogue knew the Professor was speaking to him. Remy poked him in the shoulder.
"Homme you okay, what de hell happened?"
John's jaw clenched his face ticked. He stared at Bobby then turned his eyes to Rogue. His expression softened, only slightly. "Well I guess you'd better get your crap."
"Huh?" Rogue asked elegantly.
"You're coming right, this entire disaster was your idea right, well get your shit lets go." He stomped toward his dropped duffel and threw it over his shoulder.
Remy flashed John a look, but he shrugged and started toward the car.
"We've got three minutes, until he's free again and just to let you know Logan is already on his way here." John seemed to casual.
Rogue wiped her cheeks quickly and grabbed her bag. Remy followed sauntering toward the drivers seat. Rogue climbed into the back. John claimed shot gun.
"Sure dat the convertible is off limits?" Remy asked as he started the engine on the small Volkswagen.
John was surprisingly sullen. "Cajun just drive."
Remy stepped on the gas and the car tore from the garage just as the doors slid open. In half a minute they were out the gate, which swung open to let them leave and a yell, too animal to be anyone but Logan followed them down the road. The get away was silent and Rogue sunk into the seat wondering if she would ever see the mansion again. Quickly she turned around her fingers pressed against the glass. She tried to burn the image into the mind, afraid she would never see it again. All too quickly it faded into the night and Remy shifted gears pushing the car faster. She closed her eyes against silent tears and hoped she'd made the right decision, the Professor's words echoing in her head.
'...remember you are always welcome back home.'
0o0o0o0
He was smoking a lot. He was aware of it so he could make himself stop, but it was hard. Every time his hand was free his mind wandered so he lit up another cigarette to occupy his hands and his mind, somehow he soothed by the repetitive act. They'd driven straight through the first night, Rogue slumped in the back seat feigning sleep, John snoring in the front. He heard her cry, the tortured sound of her hiccuped tears that she tried desperately to hide.
He even reached out one time his fingers pressed to the top of her head, hoping to convey a bit of comfort. He knew how it was to leave everything behind. He rubbed her hair aware that her sniffles subsided. He knew what it was like to have no other choice and even if he didn't know exactly what had brought her to that decision he recognized their similar fates. She couldn't call home, home anymore, neither could he, neither could John. Her chocked voice only spoke to him once.
"Ah'm fine," she whispered. "Really. Ah'm fine."
She didn't speak again and he let his hand rest on her until her gloved fingers pushed him away. His fingers tingling from her touch he retreated and lit the first cigarette in his pack. He rolled down the the window letting the night air rush across his face. While her sniffles died to near silent sobs he smoked another, and another until he was out and started on John's pack.
He'd stopped to fill up and nicked a few new packs from the gas station before the fire mutant woke up and Rogue red faced and sad was finally asleep. John drove next settling into the drivers seat. They still had no destination, just away, as far away as they could get in one night. Remy didn't sleep the entire time, though his eyes were shut and his arms crossed over his chest. He couldn't do it. His fingers itched to hold something and his mind screamed for nicotine. His memories were running rampant.
Finally he sat up opening his eyes and eying the clock. He'd only been down for fifteen minutes. He reached for his half smoked pack and rolled the window down. He pressed his finger to the tip, revealing in the feel of his powers coursing through his fingers, thankful he didn't have to live without them.
"You're supposed to be sleeping." John said his eyes still on the road.
"Yeah," Remy ashed his cigarette out the window. "I should be." There was no point in telling his companion that he couldn't sleep. John already knew.
"So where you want to head?"
Remy shrugged and drew in another burst of smoke. He was going to make himself sick if he didn't eat soon. Smoke on an empty stomach was a lesson he'd learned a long time ago.
"I was thinking," John spoke, hesitant enough to make Remy look at him. He paused as if the thought was lost, or he'd lost his nerve.
"What?" Remy asked prompting and smoked another lung full. His stomach flopped. Frowning he paused the cheery tip hanging out the window hoping the feeling would pass.
"I'm was thinking of two things, first do you want to ditch her?"
Remy ignored the flopping and took another drag, his throat closed angrily, his stomach protested the lack of substance. "Non, I t'ink she'll leave when she's ready."
John didn't answer and Remy didn't want to know what he was thinking. He kept his eyes on the smoking tip. "Sides she don't have no where ta go."
He had no answer to that. Remy watched the white lines on the road, wondering if the repetitive pattern would put him to sleep if he watched long enough. He let the cigarette fall from his fingers. He was going to have to get some food, at least something to counter act the smoke inhalation.
"I was thinking we head for the beach."
Remy raised a brow, "looking for a keg party?"
He didn't rise to the laid banter, "It's summer, everyone is there. We can probably blend in for a while, lay low before we decide what to do. 'Sides I always liked the beach."
It was odd to hear John talk about it, almost wistful. He shrugged. It wasn't a bad idea. "Yeah, could probably find a job or two."
John nodded. "I figured."
So destination decided. "You hungry?"
"Starving."
"Pull off on de next exit. I need some food an' a new pack."
"Hey Roguey," John called over his shoulder.
Remy didn't see the point in waking her. He still remembered her tears and the comfort he'd tried to give.
"What," she moaned, not tortured but sleepy.
"We're getting some grub, what do you want?"
"Ah don' know," she answered and moaned again.
"You still like bacon cheese burgers?" John asked.
She was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, sounds good."
"Wendy's then, just don't dip your fries in your frosty. Thats nasty."
"Never did try it." She protested. The light banter was waking her up. She sat up, stretched before declaring. "My entire body aches."
Remy grinned, "I got just de t'ing for all dose little aches, petite."
"Ah'm Ah going to be forced to listen to your lame come ons this entire trip?"
John laughed, "Lame is right."
Remy paused, "Qui, chere dis Cajun's got a thousand more."
She groaned, mocking, "Ah changed my mind, can Ah go back."
"Nope, It's a one way ticket," John answered. "Listening to Remy's stupid ass comments it just part of the package."
Remy smacked the back of John's head.
"Careful," John said, glaring, "I'm driving I could send us right into that ditch, a tree," he swerved into the opposite lane, the neighboring car laid on the horn, "on coming traffic."
Before Remy could counter Rogue spoke up again.
"Where are we going?"
John answered. "Beach."
"Ah always liked the Beach." Rogue whispered.
The two fell into an easy conversation and Remy reached for another cigarette. He hesitated with the tip in his mouth his finger poised to ignite the end. Suddenly he didn't really feel like smoking anymore. Absently he tucked the cigarette back into it's pack, surely the urge would come back later, and leaned back his seat. So they were being chased by Sinister, Mauraders, maybe a few members of the X-Men, and thier last job had left him without cash and with no contacts with revisiting. In some ways he was worse off than when he'd left Louisiana, in others, the plastic wrap on the cigarette pack glowed to life before he dropped it out th window, the low charge hardly making a sound, beside him John was protesting something and Rogue, no longer crying, at least for the moment, was answering. He wasn't alone and his powers were his and oddly enough so was his life. Things were certainly looking up for the three that seemed to be born for bad luck.
That's the last chapter, but there is an epilogue consisting of three chapters each focused on one character, just to wrap up a little and lead to the sequel I'm writing. Anyone interested in giving me a beta let me know. Thank you all again, everyone who has ever reviewed this story. I've never gotten such a good response. I hope that I'll be able to hit 200 reviews with this chapter and the next three epilogue shorts. Thanks for telling me what you think. Short or long I love every review!
Ghostwriter: Thank you so much for reviewing!
tfobmy18: Guess you were right about Rogue and you're right about Remy and John shameful all the violence, but they wouldn't let the air clear any other way. Those two are odd ones. Thanks for the review.
Ratdogtwo: Thank you so much for the reviews!
PyroWhore: Glad you liked the fight. I was trying for somewhat amusing, after all they didn't really want to kill each other. Thanks for the review!
lovestoread: Thanks so much for the bit on the last chapter, still my favorite. I thought Remy had to do something and with John pretty much running on anger it was bound to get out of control. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.
Wanda W: Yes male bonding you can only shake your head at it. You're right Logan would have no sympathy for them just annoyance. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.
No preview this time. I'm keeping it a mystery.