My birthday is coming. I hate my birthday. I hate it. I seriously wish that everyone would forget it. I think a lot of people say they hate their birthday, but they don't. It's just something to say. Another year older. All of that. That isn't what it is for me. I mean, I hate getting older. I want to forever remain a child. At least children are safe. Although, I truly was not. I hate the day. It was the day I was born. Probably the worst day of my life. Thinking about it makes me sick. Everyone's focus is on me, and I wish it was off of me. I would like to disappear into the wall.
The day I was born was a nice day. Hot, I guess. Really hot. My mother suffered. Over twenty-four hours of labor. She suffered all right, although I am fairly certain she deserved it. She was busy at the time. She was born to be a surgeon. I was just something that got in her way. I swear she popped me out and just left me laying there. I am still laying there. Cold. Scared. Alone. I hate that day. It makes me an emotional wreck. I wish it would never come. I wish it would go away forever.
"What are you thinking about?" Derek asks as he walks up. That annoyed me. It shouldn't, but it does. It does because I am thinking about that day and I can't tell him that because it upsets me. And I wouldn't tell him anyhow.
"Nothing." I say as I roll my eyes. I was thinking about how if that day disappeared, I would disappear. If I disappeared, I wonder if anyone would miss me. I think about it. If I were gone. I think about what people would do if I died. It's one of my emotional moments. I actually cry. Maybe they should suffer the way I have. I'm too chicken. I couldn't. No matter how badly I want to, I never will.
"You were definitely thinking about something." Derek points out as he looks over at me. I avoid eye contact. I'm not looking at him. I can't.
"What's going on?" Mark asks as he comes in. I am leaning against the counter, trying to look away. Trying to look down.
"What does Mer look like when she thinks?" Derek asks with a chuckle as he talks to Mark. I am in that comfortable zone.
"Oh... Like this." Mark says. I look up and see him staring off into space. He definitely hit the nail on the head. I was thinking. I was deep in thought.
"Yep, she was thinking." Derek says with a smile. "I'm just not sure what she was thinking about..."
"I told you! Nothing. Can't you leave it the fuck alone?" I snap as I look at him. "God."
"Whoa, Mer. Calm down." Mark says in shock. Mark and Derek exchange a look. I see it. I see the look. I don't like that look. It is as if they are thinking about me. Thinking about what I am doing or thinking. I hate that shit.
"I am calm. I am so freaking calm." I tell them as I draw in a breath. "What is going on in my head. It's nothing. No big deal. You just need to not worry about it. I was thinking about how hot it is. That's all." I mumble as I close my eyes.
"Hot... Yeah, it is. You guys should go to the quarry." She suggests as she looks at us. Of course the boys are interested. Me? Not so much.
"The quarry?" I ask as I turn up my nose. "We don't need to go to the quarry. It is cold. And deep. And- No." I grumble. I don't need to parade my ass around in a bathing suit. I would rather sit here and grumble.
"Oh... Come on, Mer. Let's go. The quarry... It will be fun." Derek says with a big smile. "Come on... Please?" When you look into those blue eyes, you get sucked in. You have to go. I take in a deep breath. Okay. Going to the quarry with two guys. That sounds like fun. Actually, it sounds like trouble.
"Fine..." I say as I shake my head. Why am I appeasing them? Oh yes... Those damn blue eyes and that pathetic little frown. He is a pouter. I have to admit, he is an adorable pouter. "We will go. But I'm not sure why." I say with a frown as I look at them both.
"Because it is fun." They tell me happily. "We'll get the towels and stuff. You go get ready." Mark says with a smile. I swear he is bounding around like a young kid. He is so excited.
I grab my bikini and frown. I never wear the thing. Any pudge that I have is right there to be noticed. I don't want to parade around in front of everyone. I would much rather hide my body. I slide on the white bikini and pull on a shirt and a pair of jeans. I said I would go. I never said I would swim.
--
Driving with boys is crazy. Boys are nuts. But what is worse than boys? A crazy girl. I like to drive fast. I like to be daring. I'm that girl, squeezing in and out of traffic. It isn't because I'm impatient... Well, who am I kidding. I'm impatient as hell. It is mostly because I like the challenge. And the hour drive to the quarry? I like to cut that at least by half. That is how I do it. And the boys just egg me on. I guess they like to stare death in the face. I know I do.
"Holy shit, Mer." Derek says as he shakes his head. "I was thinking we were going to die." He said with a nod as he pull into the stone lot. There is actually no one here. Sometimes it is packed, but not today.
"We were close." I joke as I look over at him. He looks hot in a slightly tight Hollister tee shirt. It shows the definition of his muscles like nothing I have ever seen. His swim shorts are equally hot, and his cock is semi flaccid, but I am sure it is making it's way up.
"Why didn't you just wear your bathing suit?" He asks as he opens his door. I look at him and roll my eyes.
"Oh yes." I scoff as I open my own door. "I am not just walking around in my bathing suit. And I am definitely not driving in it."
"Why the hell not... It's hot." Mark says nonchalantly. Sometimes guys don't think. I mean, I think about my body. One would assume that guys are always looking. I am always looking. And Mark and Derek act like it is nothing. I'm assuming it's because Mark and I are friends, and Derek is just a fuck buddy. To them, it is nothing.
"Because I don't." I tell them grumpily as I open the back of the Jeep. Mark and Derek grab the cooler and I grab the towels. This place is primitive. They have one soda machine and one snack machine. Generally if you want something good, you bring it yourself.
"How many?" The guy asks as he walk up. As if it wasn't obvious. I mean, three of us walk up. Do we have a forth stuck in the cooler to evade the four dollars that will break up if we have to pay it.
"Three." I snap as I looked at him. He gives me a puzzled look. The man is thinking. Wheels are spinning.
"Two guys and a girl?" He asks. What the hell does that mean? I look up at him. As if we can't be all friends. As if we have to be fucking because we have the parts to do so. I mean, seriously talk about judgement here. Where does he come from? And I actually thought he was semi-hot in his polo shirt and blonde locks.
"Um... Yeah. Me and my two fuck buddies. That's it." I tell him with a smile as I hand him exactly twelve dollars. He looks at me in shock. I'm not sure if he believes me or not. "So... Thanks." I tell him as I walk away. I think he is still stunned. Chew on that, sucker.
"So you guys are my fuck buddies." I tell them as I amble over to a spot in the shade. they are in the sun, but I like the shade. I don't need to get cancer before I'm thirty. A little bit of sun is good, but I burn like a crazy woman and sex when sun burned is no good.
"What?" Mark asks in shock as he looks up. "What did you say?"
"Fuck buddies. That ass was getting funny about shit. I set him straight. I told him that we were fuck buddies." I giggle as I look at Mark's shocked face. I think he really is shocked.
"You did not..." He says in disbelief. He doesn't believe me. He really doesn't. I nod my head yes and look over at Derek.
"Hell yes." He says with a big grin. I knew he would love it. I can tell that he is proud. He loves sex and he isn't afraid to tell anyone. I think he would parade around, showing everyone his manhood. Or at least wear an "I like fucking" shirt. "Did you really?"
"I did." I tell him with a nod as I sit back. I grab a bottle of water and take a long drink.
"You're not a mushroom, you know. You could come out into the sun." Derek says with a smile as he looks over. They are both watching me. Am I supposed to do tricks now? I guess I should at least stand on my hands.
"She is a mushroom. She's a fungus." Mark teases as he sit there. "And I am getting in the water." Mark says as he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the side.
"Don't hit your head. It's not deep everywhere." I say frankly as he pulls his shoes off. "I would hate for you to join the other three that have died in there."
"Funny." Mark says as he looks over at me. I shake my head as I look up at him.
"I'm serious. Three people have died here that I know about. It is deep." I say with a shrug. How deep, I am not sure, but I know it is a lot. I know that you can't easily swim to the bottom.
"Nice." Mark yells as he bounds off and takes a flying leap into the clear water. Stupid fuck. I would have at least looked where I was diving. Apparently he was okay, because I see his head pop up from the middle of the quarry.
"So... Come on." Derek says as he stands up and pulls of his shirt. I draw in a breath. I look at that chest. The perfect chest, glowing in the bright sunlight. I look around. There are other people here. Other bitches looking at Derek. That bothers me. It shouldn't, but damn-it, it does.
"You go ahead. I will in a bit." I tell him as I close my eyes and lay back. Derek shrugs his shoulders and pulls his shoes off. I hear his toss them to the side and then hear him run off. I don't want to swim. I don't like it. I am not comfortable here. Not at all.
"Come on, Mer!" I hear them yell for me. I don't want to. They can swim. I am more than happy sitting laying here in the grass.
"Later!" I yell as I rest my head on my arms. Later as in never. I hear them over and over again, yelling for me. I ignore. Ignoring is the best way to go when it comes to boys. I thought it was. I really did. I did until I felt their hands on me. "What the fuck!" i shout as they lift me off the ground.
"You're going swimming." Derek yells as they begin running to the water, carrying me by the hands and feet. Oh hell no.
I really can't believe he is pulling this shit. I don't think he will go through with it. The wrath of Meredith is far too great. I can't see him willingly risking his life. Only a fool would do that. Or so I thought. I think we are getting closer to the water. They are running and I am bouncing. I can't fight with two strong hands on my hands and feet. I am stuck.
"Derek... Mark... You rotten bastards! You better set me down! Put me down!" I shout as I look up at him. I can feel the tension on my limbs. It actually hurts a little. I see people laughing and pointing. When I get out of this water, I will take off of their stupid asses out. They will rue the day they laughed at Meredith Grey. "Come on, you assfucks. Let me go!" I scream. But now, I am accomplishing the one thing I did not want to accomplish. I am getting more attention attention. The twenty or so people that are here are all looking at me. I'm sure they are either thinking that these boys are assholes or the girl is nuts. Either way you look at it, we are freaks.
"Let you go?" Derek asks loudly. "Okay. Let her go, Mark." Derek yells loudly as they launch me. They both swing back and toss me as hard as they can into the quarry. I can't believe it. I can't believe they did it.
"No!" I shout as I am in mid-air. I hate them. I hate them both. Rotten jerks.
I hate swimming. I don't like being in the water. And now, I am in it. The icy cold water is a shock to my system. I can't breathe, not that I could breath under water anyway. As I stay in the water, I wonder what to do. Sink or swim? I am pretty far under water. The force of my body weight has made me sink fairly deep. Sink or swim. I let go. I don't do either. I let my body go loose and let come what may.
I feel the sun hit my face as my head bobs to the surface. I always float. This isn't the first time I have played the sink or swim game. I never sink, even when I want to. I look around, trying to find Derek or Mark. I hate them for doing it. It hurt me. I asked them not to, and they did it anyway. I know people saw it all. I see the big floating wooden raft to my left. I think I will hide out under that for awhile.
As I hold on to the bottom of the raft, I feel the tears stinging my eyes. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this water. I don't want to be here at all. I hate them for hurting me. I hate them for forcing me out of my comfort zone. I begin to sob loudly as I hide. I never want to go out. I will stay here forever.
"What are you doing?" Derek asks as he swims underneath the raft. "Are you crying?" He asks as he looks into my eyes.
"No!" I spit as I look at him. "It's the water. The water irritated my eyes." I growl as I look away. I'm sure he heard me sob, but I don't care. I choose to deny. I will pretend that I am doing nothing.
"Okay..." He says sadly as he looks at me. I think he actually regrets it, although I am not sure. It's hard to tell with Derek. He is an arrogant ass. He doesn't seem to care about anyone. Or anything.
"I hate you!" I shout as I punch him in the arm. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I yell as I pound his chest.
"Whoa!" Derek spits as he grabs my hands. "Why the anger... You came to swim. We were just getting you into the water." He tells me as we float under the raft. I'm pissed, but at the same time, it is typical for boys to be that stupid. "You know..." Derek whispers as he looks around.
"Oh my god! Do you really think I will fuck you after you played that shit?" I growl as I look into his eyes.
"I was kind of hoping you would." He says with a smirk. I hate that smirk. That smirk has a way of making me do stupid ass things that I should not be doing. I can tell you that even though I am in the water, I am wet as hell. I am turned on because Derek's wet curls are laying on his head. His blue eyes are sparkling. And his perfectly chiseled chest is wet and tan. Yes, I want him. But I think I may just deny him.
"Well, you should have thought about that before you pissed me off." I growl as I clench my jaw. Damn it, I should just spread them for him. I should. But no. I will not. He is a rotten bastard. I shake my head and turn away. I look around and decide to swim to the nearest edge.
"Oh no you don't!" Derek shouts as he swims behind me. His stupid long ass arms make his go faster. Stupid man hands are like scoops. "You aren't going anywhere." He tells me loudly. I try to pick up the pace, but I feel his hand on the leg of my jeans. My stupid jeans are dragging me down. He tugs me hard and I feel myself fly back towards the underneath of the raft. "You aren't going anywhere...I already told you that,"
"You asshole! Let me go! I will hit you, Derek Shepherd... I will nail you in the face." I tell him as I raise my fist.
"Mer... I think I will be the only one doing the nailing here." He says with a hearty laugh. Damn him. I think he is right. Too damn irresistible.
"Oh really?" I ask with my left brow raised. That is how it always is. Left brow. It other words, bullshit. I don't believe so, mister.
"Really." He tells me with a nod as he puts his hands under the water. His head is bobbing just above the water. His grin is growing. I roll my eyes as he pulls up his arm, swim trunks clutched tightly in his hand. "Let's go." He tells me as he plays with my shirt.
"What do you plan on doing?" I ask coyly as I looked into his bright blue eyes. "I would like to know what you plan on doing to me."
"Well, I plan on taking off this hot little shirt of yours." He tells me as he lifts the shirt over my head. Everything is clinging and hard to remove. I feel him tug and pull it completely off. Both his trunks and my shirt land on the raft with a "thwap" sound. "Damn, Mer." He groans as he looks at my white bikini top. "And you wanted to cover yourself up." He laughs.
"I don't need to shake my ass in front of everyone." I tell him frankly as I feel him play with the bottom of my jeans.
"Grab the top of the raft." He tells me with a nod. I raise my hands and grab the raft, feeling him go beneath the water and begin tugging. I can't believe this. I cannot believe I am going to fuck him here. At least no one can see.
"Ah... There." He says as he tosses the jeans up on the raft with a loud smack. "I think now we can begin." He points out with a smile.
"Begin what?" I ask as I playfully pull away. "I'm not really sure what you are planning on accomplishing here. So far you have gotten me out of my wet clothes." I tell him with a giggle.
"So it seems I have to get you out of that wet bathing suit." He says with a raised brow. "I would hate for you to be in a wet bathing suit in the water."
"That would be a tragedy." I agree with a smile. "I would hate that too. Imagine... A girl in a wet bikini. A travesty." I say with a smile as he runs his hands over my hips. I'm still holding on and he is floating.
"Travesty." He agrees as he grabs the raft and kisses my collarbone. "A fucking travesty."
"Yes... You should uh... Do something about that." I tell him with a smirk as I rub my knee against his hard cock. "Oh... You are hard!" I say in shock. He is steel meat covered in silky skin. He is ready for me, and I can feel the heat radiating in my core for him.
"Oh god, baby... That is- Wow... Fuck. I need you." Derek groans as I rub him over and over again. Derek takes one free hand and undoes my bathing suit top. "Oh god... They are so...hard." He moans as he takes my rock hard nipple into his mouth and swirls his warm tongue around it. My cold flesh feels great in his hot mouth. "You taste so good."
"Oh, Derek... Just do me." I beg as he runs his cold hands down my body. I feel his fingers snake underneath my bikini bottom and grazes my warm pussy. I feel his ice cold finger touch my clit, sending shivers up my spine. "Oh!" I gasp as I feel his cool hand playing in my warm folds, turning it warm.
"You are so tight... And warm." Derek says with a smile as he looks into my eyes. I grin as I feel him rub his cock against me. "I just want to fuck you." He tells me as he rips my bikini bottom off and tosses it with the rest of the pieces. Hold on tight." He says as I place my hands backwards and hold on. He grabs the raft with one hand, and his hard cock with the other one. "Hold on, baby." He moans as he rubs his velvety head against my clit. I let out a few pants at the sensation of him.
"Oh god... Just do it." I beg as he teases me. I hate the teasing. Right now I just want it hard. "Oh!" I shout as I feel his thick hard cock slide into my dripping wet core. It is cold as ice as it slides in. The icy feeling only stimulates me more as he withdraws and slides back in. "Oh god, Yes." I moan as I look into his eyes. Derek leans down and attacks my neck as he thrusts his hips.
"You are so hot and tight. You really were ready for me, weren't you?" Derek asks as he sucks my chest hard. He gives me a few hard bites. I can feel him increasing his suction as he pulls away, taking my skin with him.
"Harder, Derek." I tell him as I thrust myself towards him, my arms getting slightly tired from being over my head.
"I am, Mer... It's not easy." He tells me as he pounds over and over, the water resisting him. "Fuck, I am trying!" He grunts as he buries his head into my neck. "Oh god... you are getting tighter... Fuck, Mer." He pants as he struggles.
"Oh god, Derek... Fuck... I'm there, Derek.. I'm going to.. OH GOD!" I cry out as I feel the wave crash me. I am cold on the outside, hot on the inside and completely numb. My body is twitching as Derek shoots his hot seeds inside of me. He is panting, and I am shaking. We are shot. His cold cock is now warm and twitching. "That was good shit."
"That was very good shit." Derek agrees as he pulls out of me. I frown at his exit. He feels so good inside of me. "Damn. You were good. Really good."
"Not so bad yourself." I say with a nod as I let go and fall underwater, my head bobbing back up. When I come up, I look at Derek. He has a not so great look on his face. "What?"
"Oh... Shit." He says as he reaches for our clothing.