The time has come for Daten City to follow the RUUURUS. Hope you like it. 4/20 Revised and maybe funnier. more references and ish.
—
Boxer and Sock spent all night at Daten High defeating a barrage of ghost. They sat on the toilet ranting.
"Seriously? Zero Heavens again? "Sock groaned
"God..." Boxer sighed deeply." How many does that make?"
" And they all look the same."
"Damn, that Afro-priestess' seriously pissing me off!" Easy job for a big payload, my ass!"
"It's not going to school that's the problem. It's the fact that we're not making any goddamn money."
"I can't even blow off any steam this way. Fuck, I haven't been able to blow either." Boxer grunted heavily as he finished up using the bathroom." I bet this is what anal feels like. Painful and exhausting. "
"Like you would know." Sock retorted.
"It's no fun when these replicas never react." Boxer said annoyed.
A small Ghost crawled away from the top of the stall when Boxer looked up.
"Ooh! Found a real one!" Boxer exclaimed.
They both got up and tackled the ghost to the floor with their weapons in hand.
"It looks cheap, but this should at least be a real Ghost. "Sock said.
"Look at it squirm. I hope it screams." Boxer said excitedly.
The ghost wiggled free and crawled into the toilet.
"Well that's fuckin' gross." Boxer said.
"Why did it jump in there?" Sock asked.
"Well, fuck it. That's one place we don't wanna go." Boxer replied.
Sock snickered, "Speaking from experience, are you?"
"Why you gotta be such a ball buster Bro?" Boxer said angrily.
The ghost came back up and splashed toilet water on the both of them.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" They both yelled.
They threw anything they could find and broke all the toilets but failed to catch the Ghost.
"Stop jumping in toilets!" Boxer screamed.
...
"It got away..." Boxer said as they walked through the school.
"And then we noticed the sun was up." Sock said.
A student was behind them as they walked.
" Why aren't you wearing your uniforms? "He asked.
"Proper attire is required on school grounds." another student intruded.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Boxer asked.
"The new school kings have laid down certain rules." The student answered.
"I thought we were the kings of this hellhole."
"Your old news now." The student replied. "You should follow the rules if you know what's good for you." He said walking away.
"Skip school for a bit and the whole place turns to hell." Sock said..
Boxer whistled and Brief showed up.
"Geek boy. Explain to me what the fuck is going on."
"Okay!"
...
"So, these demon brothers have the school bound with all these rules and morals?" Sock asked Brief.
"Uh-huh, and they're the mayor's sons so teachers can't do anything. "
"Slow your roll there. What kinda rules we talking about?! Like no sleep, blowjobs, finger banging, drinking, partying, or sex?! What kinda world are we living in?!"
A black limo with the shape of a bat on the hood pulled up and out came a red carpet. The carpet hit Brief sending him blasting off at the speed of light.
The students assembled in a frenzy.
"It's the demon brothers!" someone yelled.
"Sirs Skivvy and Legwarmer! Good morning! "Everyone said.
Two boys with red skin and horns stepped out of the vehicle. The boy with green hair and piercing green and yellow eyes spoke first.
"Well, well. Do you not sense an abnormal irregularity in our proximity, Mister Legwarmer?"
"I do brother. I spy two males who are not listed on the school roster."the light blue haired brother with glasses spoke.
Skivvy sniffed the air." I smell a peculiar Cologne that I have not been acquainted with. Do you recognize the brand, perchance? "
"The primary component appears to be ammonia like cat urine. "Legwarmer inferred.
"Oh? Please excuse us you must be the janitorial unit."
"Hey, assholes!" Boxer yelled to get their attention.
"Binding us with rules, you bondage loving whores." Sock said not sensing the iron in his words.
"I see you've fucked up the school while we were gone!"
The demon brothers gasped!
"That riffraff is trying to intimidate us." Legwarmer stated.
"They're very surreptitious, maybe they're hoodlums." Skivvy replied.
"S-Surreptitious?" Boxer said confused.
"They're trying to say we're ghetto! Their the ones fucking up this school!" Sock interjected.
"That's right! School is meant to be fun!" Boxer yelled.
Legwarmer closed in on the two and began to scold them. "Excuse me? Your derogatory remarks have made it clear that you low IQ bottom-feeders cannot comprehend, but there's only one way to stem the tide of rampant debauchery under the guise of a carte blanche. That way is new school rrurus!" He said rolling the 'R'.
"Is he like European or something? Cause he just butchered that word. "Boxer asked.
"A new standardized uniform! A new ideology! "Legwarmer went on.
"Magnifique, Legwarmer." Skivvy worshiped.
"Exemplary behavior! Civil minds! Disciplined bodies! That which holds the essence of true beauty! " legwarmer continued to say.
Skivvy appeared at his side. "Calm down mon cher, your turning bright red."
Legwarmer brushed harder. "Forgive me this shade is unbecoming of me."
"Your face was red to begin with..." Brief said to them.
They turned to see that Boxer and Sock had fallen asleep. Their faces laced with shock toward the disrespect.
Brief nervously tried to cover for them." Ah! They were both up all night!"
...
Boxer tried hard to swallow his foul tasting lunch." Shit! This tastes like ass!" He said.
"They used their authority as the mayor's sons to change the lunch menu." Brief told them.
"This is what health freaks eat." Sock said." Nowhere near enough sugar."
"Need more ketchup! Mustard! Tabasco sauce! Chili sauce! Jalapeños! I need a kick to wake me..." Boxer ranted before he dozed off.
"So goddamn tired..." Sock said sleepily.
"No, I'm not going home until I give them a kick in the nuts!" Boxer said in his sleep.
The red carpet rolled out and again hit Brief.
"Jesus, they're here." Boxer sighed
Ignore them like they're Satan." Sock told him.
"Well look at this. The toilet- brothers are here." Skivvy taunted.
"You should reduce your condiment consumption. The fat will make your stomach and brain all flabby." Legwarmer warned them.
"If you seek to improve your looks and your health, follow our rrurus!" Skivvy said also rolling his R.
"I maintain my athletic figure with a workout and perfect control of my calorie intake."
"Tres bien brother. Also have you heard?" Skivvy said loud enough so Boxer and Sock could hear." There are apparently angels in this school that slay any evil Ghosts that appear. "
"Two brothers I believe. "Legwarmer replied.
"Oh? May they be referring to us?" Skivvy asked.
While they talked Boxer got angrier and crushed Chick with his bare hands.
"Please, if they were I'd reward their bravado."
"Oui, how could anyone call themselves an angel? The duplicity in that title is laughable."Skivvy snickered.
"Besides they are so obnoxiously violent that they destroy their surroundings and injure pedestrians without remorse." Legwarmer replied.
"Those two just pervade an ennui. Callous bores in other words. I've heard the blonde one leads the prolific life of a gigolo. "Skivvy said tauntingly.
"And the other is feminine and rotund."
Boxer stood up but stopped when Sock flipped the table in a bleeding rage.
"Who the hell do you think you are?! I know I'm a little flamboyant but I am not fat! And what's bad about being an angel?!" He screamed at the demon brothers who didn't seem to care. "You two are a couple of douchebags!"
"Right on!" Boxer said behind him." Let them know who's on top!"
"Oh? You're still here?" Legwarmer said coldly." I was under the impression that you had already left.
Skivvy turned his head to think." Um...Mario and...? Comment ça s'appelle, huh Legwarmer?" Skivvy asked.
"If they both share the occupation as plumbers then my best guess is Luigi. "He replied.
"Oh, now it's on!" Boxer yelled!
"No need for the equanimity . Also what is the goal of this fruitless endeavor." Skivvy questioned.
They stood confused for a second until Boxer spoke up.
"'Cause where gonna kick your ass! "
"So brusque. Yes, but how will we determine the winner?" Legwarmer asked.
"The winner? Sock said confused.
"Who will be the judge? "Legwarmer asked again.
"The judge? "Boxer said this time.
"You mentioned something about who was on top..." Skivvy said.
"I presume that you want to establish who is superior. "Legwarmer finished.
"Between the two of us..." Skivvy said.
"B-Box" Brief stuttered trying to stop them.
"So, how are we going to settle this boondoggle? "Legwarmer asked.
"Um.." Boxer droned.
"Etiquette? "They both said." Appearance? Class? Athletics? Family background? Academics? Vision? Hearing?" They kept suggesting.
Boxer and Sock stood in confusion as they realized they couldn't win in any of those categories.
"What a quandary, we have an insurmountable lead in every category. Is there any activity you angels excel ? Blowing horns maybe?" Skivvy teased.
"These angels certainly know about blowing." Legwarmer stated mischievously.
"Don't underestimate my blowing skills! I was ranked 69th on the under ground." Boxer argued.
"Boxer, you making it worse." Sock said trying to calm him down.
"Victory without violence! that is one of our rrurus!" Skivvy yelled.
"Rrurus are written by the strong! This is fact! That's the truth! An absolute rruru!" They sat down." Losers should know their place."
"See you next fall." Skivvy said before they snapped their fingers.
Two pits opened beneath the angels and they fell in. A picture of them both came out from the statue next to Skivvy. News about the demon's victory spread quickly.
...
The angels were sent underground where lower class students lurked.
"I can't believe we lost to some guys who can't pronounce rules right. What kinda shit is that?" Boxer said angrily.
"I think they sent us to hell." Sock said as he looked around the disgusting room filled with bugs, sludge, horrible supplies, and nerds who were into Star Whores and other lame stuff."Look at all the gross people."
"B-B-Boxer, good morning. "
They both looked back to see Brief.
"Oh? They dropped you too Geek Boy?" Sock asked.
"This is the "loser class" for us geeks."
"Oh,makes sense." Sock said.
"If you have any questions, feel free to ask." Brief said while the brothers ignored him.
A cackle caught their attention. "So you've been dropped down here too!"
They looked between Boxer's legs and saw the Ghost that escaped through the toilet.
"You're the one from last night!" Boxer said.
"I happen to be a Ghost who was also a loser at life. We can bond at the bottom of the pile."
They pinned the Ghost to the ground as they did before.
"We aren't gonna stay here forever. "Sock told the Ghost.
"Don't drag us down to your level." Boxer added.
"S-Sorry about that!" The Ghost apologized. "I'll do anything just don't shoot!"
"No, I'm gonna shoot." Boxer told the Ghost.
"We're gonna sever your limbs, gouge out your eyes, piss on your skull, and rape anything left moving." Sock said aggressively.
"O mighty angels! I have information you may want to know! It's about the demon brothers! I'll give you a good rate!"
After they let him go the Ghost took them to a grimy toilet that looked like it hasn't been cleaned in forever.
"This is the entrance!" He pointed.
"I'm gonna murder you, ass face!" Boxer yelled
"This is the only entrance! "The Ghost explained to him.
"Hell no! I ain't goin' in there!"
Sock turned to Boxer." I'm sure it's only scary the first time in. You've already done it plenty of times, so this should be easy."
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Um, do you really need me here?" Brief asked.
"Let's get going!" The Ghost said before he pulled the handle. A wave of dirty water pulled them into the toilet.
—
I'm probably the only person that speaks in different voices while writing. But I did a really good Legwarmer. Anywhore the demon brothers, as you may have notice Skivvy+ Legwarmer say rrurus it's the only word they can't pronounce. Skivvy uses a bit of French like how kneesocks used more english i switched it around cause i saw him and as an asshole like that, you know those fancy ones. Oh well, byezies.