Orochimaru stepped out carefully unto the street, still holding Naruto hostage. He looked from side to side to see if there was anyone around, there wasn't. Sasuke closely followed him as he did so, his gun still pointed at Orochimaru.

"Put the gun down or I'll blow his fucking brains out!" Orochimaru ordered.

Sasuke remained steadfast, he did not even make an attempt to lower his gun.

"I fucking mean it! Put the gun down or I will fucking kill him!" Orochimaru reiterated as he pulled the hammer back.

Naruto intervened nervously "Sasuke, quit fucking around. This guy isn't joking, he cocked the gun for fuck's sake. He means business"

Orochimaru smirked at Sasuke "Heh, your friend isn't as stupid as he looks. You best listen to him"

"Hey fuck you too! You snake looking motherfucker" Naruto retorted angrily at the last statement.

Sasuke clenched his teeth, there was nothing he could do, his partner's life was at stake. He would have to give in to Orochimaru's demands. He was about to lower his gun when he remembered something, something that could change everything.

"That gun you have, it has no bullets. The chamber is as empty as your fucking head" Sasuke stated defiantly.

The smirk left Orochimaru's face "Trying to bluff me eh? Getting a little fucking desperate aren't we?"

"I'm not bluffing, we came here with 4 bullets each. When that fucking dog of yours attacked us I wasted 2 shots and my partner wasted 1 and then our guns got mixed up together in the darkness. Eventually my partner found one and shot that fucking mutt twice" Sasuke explained.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at Sasuke as if he were trying to discern whether he was lying or telling the truth. Naruto intervened, still being held hostage "Uh I don't really understand what's going on. But all I really want to know is… whether this fucker is going to shoot me or not?"

"Let me put it simply. There were 2 guns, one had 3 bullets and the other had 2 bullets. You picked up one of these guns and you shot the dog twice. Which means that the gun in your possession either has 1 bullet or no bullets at all" Sasuke stated plainly.

"Bullshit! Every single word, fucking bullshit!" Orochimaru yelled, starting to sound slightly nervous.

"Well pull the fucking trigger then" Sasuke said obstinately.

Naruto intervened once more "Whoa, whoa that's easy for you to say when it's my fucking life on the line. This ain't no fucking game"

Orochimaru anxiously tapped the gun's trigger with his finger, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead underlined the fact that this was a tense situation. He slowly began to squeeze the trigger. Everyone's breathing had halted for a moment. He pulled the trigger all the way and… click. Nothing happened.

Orochimaru dropped the gun, every muscle in his body had gone limp. Naruto took advantage of this and wrestled himself free. Orochimaru didn't fight back, he just stood there stupidly, he was smart enough to know his fate.

"Nice try buddy but now your ass is grass!" Naruto exclaimed as he turned around and punched Orochimaru in the face, knocking him down.

Naruto stooped over Orochimaru's body, his fist raised in the air, ready to throw another punch. Sasuke held his hand back "Who are you Mike Fucking Tyson? Calm down will ya, he's already fucking unconscious"

"Did this motherfucker take your gun and hold you hostage? No? Didn't think so!" Naruto retorted angrily.

"That one's on you. You were being careless as usual. Just be happy I saved your sorry ass" Sasuke said.

Naruto stood up "Now that you mention it. How did you know that the gun he had was the empty one?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders "I didn't know. There was a 50 percent chance that the gun was empty so I just went with it. Luckily it worked out in our favour"

Naruto gave him a little shove "Dude, what the fuck?! You didn't fucking know for sure?! What if it was the gun that had the bullet?! I would've been fucking dead!"

"I'm sorry but if you didn't notice our hands were kind of tied back there. We had no other fucking options, he would've gotten away. So I weighed the options and I had a 50 percent chance of being right and I fucking was. Just give it a rest will ya" Sasuke stated nonchalantly.

"50% chance of being right?! There was also a 50% chance of my head getting blown clean off!" Naruto shouted.

"Alright look, if you did get shot, I would've killed him on the spot and our mission would've been accomplished. Then I would've driven back to Konoha and told Hinata that you died because of me. Then she would proceed to beat the living shit out of me and then I would die, in pain, alone, in a hospital bed due to internal fucking injuries that I sustained. So both of our fucking lives were at risk just now. Fortunately for us, we get to live to see another day. So let's just move the fuck on and forget this ever happened alright" Sasuke explained.

Naruto sighed deeply "Let's just get this fucker to the car"

They picked him up and carried him over to their vehicle. Sasuke retrieved some tie straps from the car and bound Orochimaru's hands and feet. Naruto finally placed a bag over his head and threw him on the floor, in the backseat of the car. They entered the car and then began their long journey back.

***10 minutes and a bit of driving later***

Naruto took out a large map and unfolded it, he pressed it up against the dashboard and tried to make sense of it all. "Okay, we're here, in Otogakure. How the fuck are we supposed to find ourselves where we need to be?" he mumbled aloud as he traced out a path on the map with his fingers.

Orochimaru groaned loudly from the backseat, it seemed he had regained consciousness. "You're telling me you fucking idiots don't even know how to get back to Konoha" he said weakly.

"We're not going to Konoha, we have a different destination in mind" Sasuke responded drily.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Get this fucking bag off my head! Aren't you taking me back to see Kakashi?" Orochimaru enquired.

Naruto intervened "You'd like that wouldn't you? Not a fucking chance! You're too much of a slippery, elusive bastard. You would see Kakashi, promise him his money and then turn tail and run the first fucking chance you get!"

"And that's why we're taking you to the Valley of the End instead of Konoha. You've heard of the Valley of the End haven't you?" Sasuke questioned.

"Yeah, I've heard about the Valley of the End" Orochimaru responded.

"And what did you hear about the Valley of the End?" Sasuke asked once more.

"That's where your gang assassinates people and where you bury their bodies" he replied, almost sounding a bit disheartened.

"That's right. When we get there, we're going to set you down on your knees, we're going to place a gun at the back of your head, we're going to shoot you and we're going to bury you there" Sasuke stated grimly.

Orochimaru chuckled devilishly "Fan-fucking-tastic!"

***Author's Notes***

Okay this is the penultimate chapter…for reals this time. To think, at the beginning I said that this fic should be less than 5 chapters. Seems I was a bit off.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The humor got quite dark at some points, but hey, as I always say dark humor is the best form of humor!

-Cloud