What the…?
A/N- Hiya again, all! This is a little segment I was working on, so I figured I'd put it up between the to be continued ones. Hope you like it! Only one gripe/note this time: I miss my asterisks! If you noticed, I've been using brackets{}to show certain things, but I usually use stars. They just didn't show up when I uploaded. {sulk} Anyone know how to fix it? Ah well… I'll live… I guess.
Announcer: Our next segment is a nice musical one. ..
Ronan and Kit: NOOOOO!!!
Announcer: And we're gonna put a special emphasis on two up-and-coming artists!
Ronan: It's us. We know it. What do you have in store for us?
Announcer: Tempting...the song WOULD fit you... but it's not either of you two.
Kit: Really???? There are Powers!!!!
Announcer: Please give a warm round of applause for the newly-revived Sirius Black feat. the Lone Power!
Lone Power: Wait a second... I only get a 'feat.'?
Announcer: ...it sounds cooler that way.
Lone Power: I'm a friggin' power and I only GET A FEAT.????
Announcer's Assistant: Errrr... she meant to say and... {ahem} drama queen...
Announcer: ...well, they'll be performing "Heaven" by Los Lonely Boys
Harry: SIRIUS!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!!{latches on to Sirius' leg and won't let go} Don't ever leave me with the Dursleys again... please!!! Or fall into anymore portals or anything. That was scary... {sobs} I thought you were dead!!!!!!
Sirius: Errr… this isn't very James-like. Please get off?
Harry: {with the twinkly-eyed tears} B-B-B-But I missed you!!!!
Hermione: {sighs and pries him off} Don't make me put this in the next book...
Harry: I'll be good... {sees Sirius get on stage} WOOOOO! GO SIRIUS!!!
Lone Power: {sulks} Why don't I have a cheering section???
Kit: How many times have you tried to kill us????
Lone Power: {whines} But it's not faaaiiir!
Kit: FINE! Woo. Go Lone Power. Yeah.
Lone Power: You suck at that.
Sirius: Let's just get this over with before the crazy girl puts us in drag....
{Cue intro music}
Sirius: Saaaaave me from this prison... Lord help get away {various Azkaban montage scenes flash} Cause only you can save me now, from this misery
Kit: ...this really IS our song...
Lone Power: 'Cause I've been lost in my own place, and I'm getting weary (OK, I admit it... my version of NY sucked...I couldn't even get rid of the pigeons...)
Both: How far is Timeheart?
Lone Power: And I know I need to change, my ways of livin'({eyeing up a group of fangirls} you know, I AM a bachelor...{wink})
Both: How far is Timeheart? Lord, can you tell me?
Sirius: Cause I've been locked up way too long,
Ronan: {going on stage} In this crazy world...
Sirius and Lone Power: DAMMIT, YOU'RE STEALING OUR THUNDER!!!! {both throw him off stage}
Both: How far is Timeheart?
Sirius: I just keep on prayin', Lord. (that Harry'll leave me alone...)
Lone Power: and just keep on livin', ({still hitting on a group of fangirls, who are tending to Legolas} I'm an immortal, too, you know.)
Both: How far is Timeheart? Lord, can you tell us? How far is Timeheart?
Sirius: {belting it out} I just gotta know how faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, how far is Timeheart.. Lord, can you tell me?
Ron: Oo;
Sirius: What??? Want me to break your leg again?
Ron: ...
Kit: [singing translated from Spanish, but not the real kind] And I'll do anything at all, just to get out of here...
Sirius: 'Cause I know there's a better place, than this place I'm living (My cave sucks...)
All join in: How far is Timeheart?
Lone Power: And I just gotta have some faith, that ANNOUNCER'll have misgivings
All: How far is Timeheart? We just wanna know how far.
{The routine ends, complete with spirit/sparkle/jazz hands and costumes to go with them}
Dairine: I never thought that I'd see the Lone Power in spandex and sequins, and I reallllly wish that I never had...
Ron: I never thought that I'd see Sirius in spandex and sequins, and I reallllly wish that I never had...
Harry: {attaching himself to Sirius again} You did so great and I'd buy your CD and you have a great singing voice, and the way you kicked Ronan off the stage was so cool and I'm glad you're back 'cause I thought you were dead, so can I live with you now? I'll be really good and quiet and I'll give Buckbeak baths and clean your cave and...
Nita: EH?... who is this guy, Osama bin Laden?
Kit: {going through a mental checklist} Hiding out in a cave for months?
Nita: Check. Scraggly beard and sallow appearance?
Kit: Use your eyes, Neets.
Nita: Awww, shut up. From a famous powerful family?
Kit: {starting to drool at the prospect of reward money} Yup.
Kit: Check. Middle-Eastern descent?
Nita: Err.... we can improvise. He wouldn't be a criminal, by any chance, would he?
Hermione: Actually... he was accused of mass murder, and then escaped from under our high-security prison.
Nit: Meh… close enough. Check.
Nita: Let me guess: he's been hiding from the government successfully for months.
Hermione: ...Yeah, you're right. We COULD pass him off... weird... How much reward money for both in one swoop?
Nita: ...excellent...
Hermione: Errr... I just remembered a pressing Owl I needed to send... I'll be back soon {dashes off to write a letter to the Ministry of Magic}
Nita: And I, err, forgot to mail my...... ummm, ACT packet... that's it... {dashes off to write a letter to the FBI}
Sirius: {muttering} Damned sell-outs... I'll keep your secret forever, she says....
Harry: Don't worry, Sirius, I'll go into hiding with you!
Sirius: GAH! Is there no God?????