A/N Thanks so much I always enjoy reading your reviews and messages. Last chapter we got a hint Daryl was struggling with some long buried feelings, it's going to come up a bit more this chapter. Of course our couple's also going to have some fun, they're young and in love!

They were both leaving for school so early every morning they were beating the teachers and the staff there. Of course Daryl and Beth weren't really going to school, not until they had to, they were meeting at "their" tree.

They thought they were getting away with something but no one was fooled.

Merle knew Daryl didn't love school, he was counting the days until graduation, so there was sure as hell no reason to get there more than an hour early. But he didn't care he wasn't holding Daryl to any kind of restrictions. He just made sure the boy honored Hershel Greene's wishes.

As for Daddy, he wasn't as clueless or as hard on them as they all liked thinking he was, hell he'd been young once. And Shawn and Maggie had put him through his paces with all the shenanigans they'd pulled. And Daddy knew those kids loved each other and how hard it was on them to be apart. He was just trying to teach them their life lessons as best he knew how. That life had some rules. You don't always get to just do what you want, and actions have consequences. How old you were didn't really have much to do with that, it was just a part of life.

And he truly did love Daryl like his own. And he admired the boy who, against all odds, had managed to pull himself up and was making a life for himself.

So Daddy just pretended he was dumb enough to believe Beth wanted to be at school extra early to study. After she'd leave Mama and Daddy would laugh about all this studying she was doing, saying she'd be on the honor roll any day now and getting a full ride to Harvard.

When they saw each other it was always as if they hadn't seen each other in months. It was torture all this being apart. They'd vowed they were going to be smarter from now on, be real careful. They didn't have long to go, it was already the beginning of November and graduation would be here before they knew what hit them.

They'd talked about that too and as much as they wanted their independence, to have their own place and do as they pleased, they had to save their money for the house, the furniture and the things they'd need.

They agreed she'd continue to live with Mama and Daddy and he'd continue to live with Merle. They'd be saving every penny they could for their future, it was getting closer and closer.

It would sure be more fun if they could just get a little place together but they had a goal. There was nothing either of them wanted more than to achieve that goal. Get the house and get married.

"Even though we can't get our own place right away, maybe we're gonna get a chance ta have time alone together at my house. Merle ain't seein' Selma no more. Been seein' a new woman an she ain't the typical kind a woman Merle goes for. She looks like someone's Mom not someone's hooker. She don't flash nuthin' an she don't talk dirty. She seems nice, it's just kinda weird ta see Merle with a more regular kind of woman.

Anyway, he's been goin' ta her house every night for two weeks but she don't let him stay, he's always home by 11. If he keeps up with seeing her then when yer off the restriction maybe you an me will have a place ta hang out by ourselves, have us a little privacy, at least while he's out."

And they'd shared a big smile and a bigger kiss.

But there was something else Beth noticed, something seemed to be on Daryl's mind. And for a while now he'd seemed just a little off, a little down. She asked him about it. "Ah I dunno it ain't really anythin'. I guess I just miss ya's all."

He didn't want to tell her about those thoughts that kept coming up. Those uncomfortable feelings that were weighing on him. Hell he didn't want to talk about it to anyone. What good would it do? None. Just bring up a lot of old bullshit that ought to stay where it belonged, in the past. And he sure didn't want to mention it to her, she didn't need to know the hell that had gone on in that crappy old shack.

xxxx

Thanksgiving arrived and that's just what they were doing, giving thanks. Finally they were off restriction. At least they'd have a little more time to be together now. They'd have their dinners during the week, their Saturday nights and their Sunday afternoons.

They could hardly wait to get out in that orchard later, but first they had to visit with everyone, then sit down to the dinner. All that time just wishing they were alone.

Merle had called Daddy a few days beforehand, because Merle did know how the world worked and how "good folks" did things. This was Little Brother's world now and as ornery as Merle was capable of being, he wanted to help the kid find his happiness. And he'd had a twinge of worry about his brother lately, the kid seemed kind of down.

He'd called Hershel Greene and explained to him things hadn't worked out too well with Selma. He used the classic line, "we had our sights set on different goals." Daddy understood, a couple needed to be like minded in what they wanted. And Merle told him he had a new woman in his life and he asked would it be okay if he brought her to Thanksgiving. Of course Hershel said he and his family looked forward to meeting her.

So on that Thanksgiving they sat down to the big spread and everything was just lovely, and everyone was so grateful for the bounty and the love and good health of friends and family.

And finally Daryl and Beth got to go to the Orchard. Even though they'd seen each other nearly every day, it still felt like months.

He hugged her close to him and she liked that feeling so much, his arms around her that way. And he spoke to her in a loving way like he always did when they hugged. But this was different, what he was saying was so different. He had his face buried in her neck and his voice was low, soft. "I don't wanna be a bad man or a mean man. I don't wanna turn into that. I never wanna hurt ya. I never wanna make ya scared a me."

She was a 17 year old girl in love with a 17 year old boy, a boy she'd known nearly her whole life. And she had no idea what he meant. "Daryl you're the nicest boy I know, you always have been. I don't understand what you're talking about, what you're saying. You're never going to be anything but a good man, I know that."

"I hope yer right Baby but damn I ain't sure." He hoped to God the meanness and brutality weren't inherited, but he'd read a magazine article that said the abused grow up to be abusers. Is that what he was going to become, a man just like his father?

She didn't know how to respond, she hadn't expected to come out here to the orchard and do anything but make-out and do some real serious touching. "I love you Daryl and you know that. You're worrying about problems that don't exist." He just kept looking down.

She decided to change the subject, "I can't believe your birthday's only two weeks away. You're going to be 18!"

"Yeah an adult. I always wanted ta be a man but now I think maybe bein' a kid might be better." Shit, would it start now? Would he start turning into his father now that he was 18?

"Well what do you want to do to celebrate? It's your birthday and you get to pick."

Finally he smiled at her, "Ya know yer too sweet don't ya Baby? Even though it ain't summer no more, I'd still like ta go to our spot at the creek an have a fire, cook out an stuff. Maybe my girl would make me brownies. How's that?"

"That sounds perfect to me but I thought you'd want more people, a bigger party."

"Nah I just wanna be with you Beth, no one else." Again he acted down. But then he started to kiss her and they got to touching and it seemed like everything in their world got right again.

xxxx

There was so much to be excited about this time of year, Daryl's birthday was just two days away and Christmas was just around the corner.

She didn't know which she was looking forward to more.

She'd told Daryl she was doing everything for his birthday and that all he was allowed to do was get the wood for the fire. Other than that she had it covered.

Wednesday Merle had told the boss that Saturday was Daryl's 18th Birthday and the man had smiled and said, "Take the day off and have some fun kid, but be back and ready to work Monday afternoon. Hear?"

"Yessir an thanks."

They'd thought they were just going to have a couple of hours Saturday evening, but now they had the whole day. This birthday was going to be so special.

Mama had let her use the car and she'd gone to their spot by the creek early that morning. She had everything laid out, the big blanket and an extra blanket if it got cold, the beach chairs, and she'd built the fire ring. It was perfect.

She'd begged Merle to buy them some beer, "Jesus Blondie, yer puttin' me in a helluva spot here. I don't mind if Daryl drinks a few beers but shit yer Daddy finds out I bought you beer he'd kill my ass, an shit Carol might be right there helpin' him. She's got a few different ideas 'bout things than I do, just like yer old man. I just can't do it kid. If he was gonna be drinkin' 'em at home, well I might consider it."

"Please Merle, I promise I won't even drink any it's just for Daryl, honest, I swear. And if we were ever to get caught, which I know we won't, I'll never tell it was you who bought it. I'd never even tell Daryl. Please Merle!"

"Ya know girl, ya get away with that shit now, but what're ya gonna do when ya get older an folks ain't buyin' that sweet an innocent line a bullshit no more? Then what?"

And she'd smiled brightly at him, shrugged a shoulder, but he didn't give in. "Can't do it Blondie, but if ya find someone who will and it accidentally turns out ya both been drinkin' ya call me, hear? I don't want no one drinkin' n drivin', we clear?"

"Yes Merle."

Well she'd struck out with Merle, but she had one more person she thought might do it, Caesar's older brother Javier. And she was right. She paid him for a case and he gave her two six packs and he kept two.

When Daryl picked her up Mama gave him a hug and Daddy shook his hand and they wished him a Happy Birthday. They'd bought him a new shirt and a pair of jeans. He told them how much he appreciated it, and he did. They had never let a birthday of his go by that he didn't get a gift.

He couldn't recall his own Mother and Father ever giving him anything, or even acknowledging the day.

Maggie and Shawn were both away at college but they'd each thought to send a card and the gesture meant a lot to him. Lots of people get cards in the mail for their birthdays but he didn't, for him it was a very big deal.

They got to their spot and he got the cooler and the picnic basket from the truck and got the fire going. The air wasn't too chilly yet, but it would be and he planned a little bigger fire than they usually had.

She'd brought her Pill and her IPod and she got the music started. "You're a lot more high tech than Merle," he teased her.

She laughed and then got in her bag and handed him a package, "Happy Birthday Daryl."

He smiled then and opened the small package to find his own IPod. He'd been wanting one for a long time.

"Wow, thanks Beth." And he'd hugged her close. "This is gonna be perfect when I'm workin'. I can drown out everyone else's crappy music."

She smiled at him, "I'm so glad you're happy with it Daryl, you're not exactly easy to buy for."

Then she dug in the cooler and handed him a beer, "Surprise!"

He smiled, "How'd ya get this Baby?"

"I'm sworn to secrecy so you just enjoy. It's your birthday and I want you to relax and have fun, I'll drive home."

They sat by the fire, his arm around her and her head resting on his chest. They stared at the fire and at the water that looked so inviting, but that they knew had gotten too cold for swimming. She giggled softly, "I wonder what ever happened to my shirt."

He almost did a spit take with that beer, "Damn we were lucky yer Daddy didn't kill us. I thought for sure he was never gonna let me come 'round ya again after that. You saved the day Baby." And he wrapped his arm around her just a little tighter.

"Are you hungry?"

"I am, but before I eat there's sumthin' else I wanna do." When he flashed her that crooked little grin she knew what he wanted and that was okay with her, she wanted it too. The air was cool so they didn't take much off but the clothes didn't stop them from having a good time.

When she got him to that place he'd been wanting her to take him, he actually laughed out loud, the first time she'd heard him laugh in a while. "Thanks for the Birthday present Baby."

She punched him in the shoulder and said, "That is not a romantic thing to say Daryl, you need to read a romance novel." But she was smiling when she said it and they kissed again and held each other tight.

Even though she'd made his favorites she noticed that he didn't eat much, but he was sure enjoying the beers. She didn't mind, it was his birthday and all. She'd just let him take the leftovers home with him.

He was three beers in and finally he felt he was ready to do this, "I gotta show ya sumthin' Beth, sumthin' on my back." She had a moment of panic. Surely his father hadn't shown up and hurt him more?

He turned his back to her and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head. A little yelp escaped her throat as she reached her hand up to touch him. "Daryl what did you do? Are those things tattoos?"

"Yeah that's just what they are. I done it a couple weeks ago. I don't know why but sumthin' was eatin' at me an I just felt like I had to, so I did."

"They look like some kind of devils. What are they?"

"Well they're kinda like devils I guess. They're my demons Beth, they been followin' me for a while now. Them things they just won't let me be. Since I can't seem to get away from 'em I just said fuck it, they're on board now."

"Daryl that sounds so depressing. Are you really that sad? What in the world is wrong?"

"I got sumthin' happy too." And he turned around and showed her. Right there above his left breast it said, "Beth."

She kissed him, told him she loved him and loved that he got her name tattooed on him, but she wasn't being completely honest. The truth was she was confused, unsure how she felt about all of this.

What was this change that was coming over Daryl? She didn't know and she didn't really want to think about it too much, she just wanted him to be her Daryl. To not be so dark.

They listened to music and they did dance a couple of times, but when he almost fell in the fire she pretended she was tired of dancing.

He wasn't being mean or acting stupid, not doing any of those things she'd heard drunks do, but he was definitely drunk. He'd managed to drink almost all the beer on a nearly empty stomach. She thought maybe it was time to get him home. "Daryl I think I'm going to break camp and we'll go, okay?"

He mumbled, "Yeah sure Baby sounds good." And he lay down on the blanket and he was out. She'd packed up everything and she still couldn't wake him up, and she sure as heck couldn't carry him. She didn't know what else to do so she called Merle.

Merle thought to call Hershel, "Just wanted ta let ya know the kids are stuck out there at their picnic site. Everyone's fine but they need some help gettin' out. I'ma get 'em an I'll get Beth home."

"Thanks Merle I appreciate you going after them and I appreciate the call."

Merle wasn't careful and he wasn't thoughtful. He looked at her, "If a guy thinks he's tough enough to drink 'til he passes out, then he needs ta be tough enough ta handle a wake-up call." And with that he lifted the cooler and dumped the melting ice out and onto his brother."

She was shocked but it did the trick. At least until they got him in Merle's truck, then he was out again. She covered him with a blanket to keep him from freezing to death.

On the way home she begged Merle, "Please don't tell Daddy. I couldn't stand it if he was mad at Daryl, please Merle. Anyway it was all my fault I brought the beer, and it's his birthday Merle."

The man listened to her begging, her reasoning, her promising for about 20 minutes then he glanced at her and smiled broadly. "Ya ever hear the expression don't try an bullshit a bullshitter?"

"I got a high regard for yer Daddy, he's a real good man. I may not tell him every ugly detail but I'ma have a talk with him. And come tomorrow I'ma rain down some hurt on yer boyfriend an I don't mean I'ma ground him, although he might prefer that. Now let's have some peace an quiet while I drive an we enjoy the sound a Daryl's snorin'."

Merle told her Daddy he'd like to speak to him in private. Daddy looked to him and then to Beth and he sent his daughter to her room. Daryl was still passed out under a blanket in Merle's rig, and that wasn't lost on Daddy. He had a pretty good idea of what might be going on.

"There's things happened tonight I ain't so proud of Hershel. It seems my brother got himself good an drunk for his birthday. I feel sure Beth didn't drink, it was all him. An I give her a good mark for callin' me when she knew he'd gone too far. I want ya ta know I'ma handle this with him. It won't be happenin' again or he will not be livin' with me. He'll be spendin' his hard earned money on his own place. I apologize for the trouble my brother caused an I'll make sure he apologizes too."

"Thank you Merle. It's not easy to raise a child and your position is different, difficult. Daryl's a good boy, I know it and you know it. There's something I'd like to mention to you, I've felt Daryl might be having some kind of difficulty he just doesn't seem like himself lately. I wonder if you know of something bothering him."

"Yeah I noticed too an I asked him about it but he just keeps sayin' it's nuthin' an ta leave him alone. I just got no clue but I'm keepin' my eye on him. This is a big year for him an Beth. When Daryl graduates high school he'll be the first one a our family ever did. I don't want him ta do anythin' ta keep that from happenin'."

Hershel supposed he'd never thought about that, that no Dixon had ever achieved something that now seemed so common, high school graduation. He was proud of Daryl, and proud of Merle for wanting to make sure it happened. But he also shared Merle's concerns.

"We'll keep our eye on things here and if I have concern I'll talk to you." The men shook hands and Merle took his brother home.

Daddy was firm in his belief it was something Merle should handle and that he'd go along with whatever the man decided was the best course of action. Merle was a good man who'd made some wrong turns but Daddy didn't hold it against him, he'd made more than one wrong turn of his own.

Daryl was still out when his brother half carried / half walked him to his room and began to peel off his wet clothes. That's when he saw the tattoos, "Ah fuck kid."

It wasn't as if Merle didn't have a few tats of his own or that he objected to them. It was what Daryl had gotten tattooed, that he chose demons. It made Merle feel uneasy. Daryl was an 18 year old kid why would he be thinking about demons?

Merle was a different kind of man than his little brother, he took life head on and when something bothered or hurt him, his first instinct was to charge it like a bull and see who came up winners. But he knew his brother had a much more sensitive nature. There was a tenderness to Daryl he didn't really get. Something was bothering the kid and whatever it was, he wasn't willing to talk about it.

Come morning he did rain down on Daryl, and he did tell him he'd be getting a place of his own if this shit continued. But Merle knew that was bullshit, he'd never send his little brother away. And he didn't go quite as hard and mean as he'd originally had in mind. "It ain't that I care if ya have a beer or two Daryl, it's what ya done. Ya had yer girl up there, s'posed ta be celebratin' yer birthday with her but ya drank 'til ya passed out. Hell what was she supposed to do then? She sure as shit couldn't carry yer ass ta the car. Ya gotta think kid. Don't end up like me, yer better than that, so much better.

I know ya got sumthin' that's been worryin' yer mind, ya know you can talk ta me. Ain't nuthin' you can tell me that's gonna shock me, or piss me off enough ta not care about ya and for ya. Trust me on this one kid, whatever is botherin' ya it ain't possible ta drink enough ta drown it, I've tried that n it can't be done.

Ya gotta be careful with yerself Daryl, ya got a good thing goin'. Don't fuck it up kid. Please."

The whole time Daryl stayed with his head hung down. When Merle was done, he just nodded.

xxxx

He'd gone to the farm on Sunday and as hard as it was, as embarrassed as he was, he'd apologized to her Mama and Daddy and to Beth.

Daddy just nodded and said, "Alright son. Why don't you help me in the barn after we have dinner? There will still be time for your walk with Beth."

When he and Daryl were in the barn Hershel told him about his own father, and he told him about his own drinking problem and what it had cost in his life, what it had taken from him. "I'm not mad at you son, I just don't want you to do to your life what I did to mine."

Later in the orchard he apologized again, "I'm sorry Baby I fucked up bad, ain't gonna do it no more I promise. And I swear I'll make it up to ya for yer birthday, I'll make it special. I love ya so much, please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad Daryl, I was sad and I was a little scared you'd hurt yourself, especially when you almost fell in the fire. I wanted your birthday to be special, we'll just have to make up for it another way." And when she put her hand to his cheek and smiled, he felt both happiness and relief.

They kissed and held each other and soon they both felt so much better.

It seemed the events of his birthday and his brother's talk and Hershel's talk might have helped. Daryl seemed to snap out of whatever this low was he'd been going through.

And he and Beth were looking forward to Christmas in just a few days. For them it was going to mean time off from school and more time together.

A/N Daryl's been having a rough go thinking about his past but he seems to have gotten through it for now. We'll see how our couple does at Christmas and the rest of their senior year in next chapter. Thanks so much for reading, please comment / review xo

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