Even if it breaks my heart into pieces
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach
Tnx for the reviews! Sorry for the looong wait!
Chapter 4 – Follow me…
"What the hell are you talking abou, Renji?" Rukia's eyes grew wide with disbelief.
"I was talking about your impending marriage with one of the nobles in Soul Society." Renji watched as Rukia slowly glared at him with 'don't-joke-about-things-like-that' look.
"Rukia listen," He sighed heavily, knowing how stubborn Rukia was. "I know how much you hated arranged marriage that's why I won't lie to you. The nobles wrote some request to the Kuchiki's for your hand in marriage."
Rukia slowly dropped her head and hid her eyes beneath her bangs away from Renji's penetrating stares.
"Is it my Niisama's plan?" More as a statement than a question.
"No, it's from the elder's of the Kuchiki clan and Central 46."
"Central 46?" She immediately stared at him with her eyes as big as saucers.
"Central 46 is getting worried about the future of your clan inside the Soul Society. For the honor of his beloved wife, Kuchiki-taichou might remain single for the rest of his life. And if he does changed his mind, they were scared that he might do the same mistake and marry again someone outside the noble families. So in place of your brother, you're going to marry some noble. And as for that, they accepted the marriage request from Mimasa family to produce a heir in no time."
"And what if I don't?" Her energetic eyes turned lifeless.
"The future of your clan as one of the nobles might apparently disappeared, and it's powers and fame will eventually stripped from it due to lack of heir to hold the clan firmly in the near future. It might also raise some conflicts between the remaining nobles who lust for more power and position. Soul Society might crumble apart and your clan's future in Soul Society lies upon your hand, Rukia." He watched her as she tried to register everything he'd just said in her already crumbled mind.
"But I'm just an adopted," She bit her lower lip and tried to find some reasoning to stop this stupid marriage thing.
"Since the day they've adopted you, all the rights and privilege upon you fell in their hands. They can do whatever they wanted in your future, whether I'll be your own misery or not, they don't care as long as it is for their own benefit."
"But Renji…" She searched his eyes, looking for something that might tell her that everything he had just said were all lies, but she failed to do so. "This is impossible! How the hell did Mimasa family decided to marry their son to a low class shinigami like me without anything title to hold except being a Kuchiki?"
"Mimasa family was a long time family friend of the Kuchiki's, and according to some humor, their son Keita-dono admitted that since he first saw you, when Kuchiki-taichou presented you to the nobles as his sister, he already fallen in love with you. Upon hearing that you'll be his future wife, he gladly accepted the marriage without any hesitation."
"But Niisama, what did he…?"
"He still doesn't know about it." He could see in her eyes how desperate she was to escape this marriage. "But he'll know it eventually when they ordered you to return home in Soul Society for the wedding."
Rukia once again bowed her head in defeat, knowing all her reasoning's were in vain.
"When will be the wedding?"
"They gave you three weeks to return, and if you don't they'll drag you back whether you like it or not. But the date about the marriage was not yet finalized.
Rukia shook her head, tears started to brim her eyes, but no she won't cry, not at all. She already experienced everything, even the most tragic things in life, but she never shed a tear in front of others and always wears her Kuchiki mask. It's just a marriage, it's just… but why does it hurts? Why it doesn't sound right? Why does it feel like she was going to be executed again? She gripped the hem of her skirt and closed her eyes, wishing that everything was just a dream, a very bad dream. When she opened her eyes, a very worried Renji greeted her vision. She smiled at her childhood best friend, knowing how hard it was for him to deliver her message.
"Geez Renji, you look so pale," she faked a laugh. "By the way, thanks for the news, I know how hard it was for you to explain everything to me. I'm really glad it was you who deliver it."
"DON'T SAY THAT!" He clenched his fist. "I DON'T DESERVE ANY THANKS FROM YOU!"
Rukia stared sadly at the yelling man in front of her.
"I'm sorry Rukia… I'm really sorry. I promised to not let you go again, but on the same breath I once again failed you. I'm sorry that I'm too…"
Rukia placed her hand on Renji's trembling fist.
"It's just a wedding Renji, I won't die." She smiled at his stupid reaction.
"But…"
"I'm fine. As a noble of the Kuchiki's this is my fate. And as part of it, my duty was to protect and take good care of it." She gripped his hand firmly. "Can I ask something from you?"
"Sure, what is it?" He started to smile.
"Can you please keep my impending marriage a secret, especially to Ichgo?" She gave him a pleading look.
Renji started to laugh at her begging, she looks so cute in her puppy dog eyes.
"Why are you laughing?" She scowled at him.
"Look at your face. You look…" He's not yet finish talking when Rukia gave him a kick in the knee. Renji hopped in pain while clutching his offended knee. "The hell, Rukia!" He once again stood in his full height and stared at her seriously. "That carrot top, you love him, right?" He once again laughed upon seeing her pale cheeks turned red.
"SHUT UP! I NEVER SAID THAT!"
"Oh come on Rukia, stop this freaking denial games of yours!" I can read you like an open book!" He teased her.
"Oh shut up!" A pregnant pause surrounds them for a moment, until Rukia stared at him seriously. "Whether I love him or not…It doesn't matter anymore." She smiled. "If I learned to admit my feelings, it'll just going to be too hard for me to move on. If his happiness is with someone else, I'll gladly support him with all my heart, even how hard it was for me, even it breaks my heart into pieces."
"Rukia…"
"Hey Renji, I need to go now, see you soon!" She waved at him and started to run away.
Renji clenched his fist. He loved Rukia, and she knows how much he cared for her. If only Ichigo doesn't show up, there was a possibility that he and Rukia might end up together. Unfortunately, that boy caught her heart but too foolish to notice it himself. He doesn't deserve her, not at all.
'Rukia, Ichigo is such a bastard to ignore your feelings. You're too precious to be taken for granted.'
Renji watched as she disapperead from his view.
Rukia was running away from Renji. When tiredness starts to swallow her whole body, she stopped on a nearby tree and weakly pressed her back on its trunk. Her violet orbs were hidden under her bangs, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. Everything happened so fast and she could do anything about it except to close her eyes and accept everything she couldn't fight back. He's happy and she's getting married and that's the end of their story. She sighed heavily, knowing how hard it was to fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back. She clutched he chest and pressed her back against the tree more firmly. She was on the verge of crying when suddenly rain started to pour, drenching every inch of her body. She ignored it, and let the rain drenched her whole being, washing all the failures and heart ache she's experiencing. The rain poured more heavily than ever, seems like the rain was a part of her life, pouring every time she's experiencing the worst thing in life, just like the death of Kaien-dono, and now the death of her own heart. She watched as the grounds turned into a pool of mud and noticed that the rain wasn't falling on her at all, despite the fact that it's still raining. She looked up and found a black umbrella hovering above her and shielding her from the angry rain.
"Walking without any umbrella? Just as expected from you, Rukia." She looked back at the familiar owner of the voice and found a smirking Ichigo. Half of his body was being soaked by the rain from trying to protect her from it.
"What are you doing?"
"Protecting you from the rain."
Rukia rolled her eyes. "Dumbass! Where's Inoue?" She looked away. "I thought you two have a… date?"
"Ah! She's home! We're about to enter a restaurant when suddenly rain started to fall. I remembered that you're too smart to bring your umbrella, when I told to Inoue that being a stupid you're going to run home without any freaking protection, she cancelled the date and ordered me to follow you. Unlike you, Inoue brought her own umbrella, so she insisted that she'll go home alone." He sighed. "But I guess this umbrella is useless, look at you."
Rukia looked at herself and found out that her clothes were really soaked with water. Her blouse clung to her body revealing every curvy part of it. She tried to cover it with her arms when suddenly Ichigo took off his school coat and gently placed it on her shoulders. He happily ruffled her damped hair using his free hand. Blush Started to play on Rukia's cheeks and she angrily slapped his hand away.
"MORON!DUMBASS!ASSHOLE!BAKA!IDIOT!FOOL!" She was trying to find more insulting words to throw at him. "BASTAR…" Ichigo Covered her mouth with his free hand.
"Oi! Watch your mouth Kuchiki!"What's wrong with you?"
Rukia struggled from his grip, while pulling his hand away from her mouth. Ichigo laughed at her attempt to escape. Rukia was turning redder now, being weak like this was a shame from a Kuchiki. How dare he to laugh at her weakness? Without any warning, she bit his hand, making Ichigo winced in pain and pulled away.
"AH! DAMN IT MIDGET! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" He cradled his offended hand, ignoring the fact that he accidentally throws away his umbrella.
"Fool! How dare you to shut me up like that?"
"Look Rukia, I'm just worried, why are you behaving like this?"He crunched down and pick up his muddy umbrella.
"Because you're a fool!" She watched Ichigo as he once again stood up in his full height while holding his umbrella over them.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO INOUE! HOW DARE YOU TO LEAVE HER LIKE THAT! STUPID MORON!"
Ichigo blik twice before Rukia's words registered to his brain. "The hell! So that's the reason why you're shouting at me like a freaking house wife!"
Rukia was frozen to her spot. Blush climb up to her cheeks, but not from anger anymore. She hated how the term house wife made her blush furiously.
"I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING HOUSE WIFE! NOW LEAVE AND APOLOGIZE TO INOUE!" She ordered him.
"Rukia, calm down! She's fine! Honestly, she's the one who ordered me to follow you because I was too damn worried about you catching a cold after running under the rain!"
"Wha…What?"
"Don't make me repeat myself 'cause I won't! Now, stop this nonsense argument and let's go home!" He dropped his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.
Blush never left Rukia's cheeks when she noticed their close proximity. Being best of friends, they weren't allowed to cross this invisible boundary, not until now.
"Wha… what are you doing, Ichigo?" She hated herself from stammering. She tried to place a gap between their bodies, but Ichigo pulled her closer, and dragged her to walk beside him.
"Are you nuts? Come closer so we may fit under the umbrella. Don't complain, next time I'll buy a bigger one." He smiled at her.
Rukia's cheeks turned pinker. She couldn't breathe properly. Their closeness makes her brain stopped from functioning properly. His arms were warm and she felt sad, knowing that these arms belong to someone else. She looked away and tried to divert her thoughts away from him.
"Cat got your tongue?" He playfully squeezed her shoulder. "You're speechless, sounds not like you at all." He chuckled.
"Stupid Dumbass!" She muttered under her breath.
"You know…" He looked ahead and smiled. "…unlike you, Inoue loves to share an umbrella with me."
A pang of pain stabbed Rukia straight through her chest.
"…"
"When rain started to fall, Inoue will happily close her umbrella and snuggled beside me to share mine." He laughed which she rarely heard. "But just like you, she'll be quite for the rest of the walk." He grinned. "I still don't understand woman and their ways."
Unbeknownst to Ichigo, Rukia was clenching her fist. For her this fight is futile, especially when you know to yourself that you're the only one who's fighting. This kind of emotion is useless, this kind of feeling will on lead into vain, grasping to this emotion is like grasping into nothingness. Rukia bit her lower lip and pulled away from Ichigo.
"Hey Rukia, what's the matter? It's raining, you'll catch a cold!" He said worriedly.
But she never looked backed and continued to walk away. "I'm fine, I'm already soaked, I don't need any umbrella."
"Damn it Rukia! You're such a pain in the ass! Wait for me, midget!" He ran to catch her up.
When Rukia sensed that Ichigo was running, she ran too.
"Stupid midget! What are you doing?" He asked with irritation.
She looked back happily, "If you really wanted to follow me that badly, try to catch me idiot!" She ran faster.
"I swear you'll regret this!" A mischievous smile escaped his lips with menace. He threw his umbrella and let the rain soaked him.
'If I suddenly disappeard, would you follow me like the way you're doing now?'
Rukia asked herself sadly.