Author's Note: Epic. That's what I hope this chapter is. Warning though, this chapter has some slight sexual references and suggestive terms. Enjoy though.
Chapter Thirty Six
I didn't even remember how I got shoes on my feet and a jacket around me. In fact I didn't notice them until I flew out of the cab outside of his building. The elevator was taking what seemed like forever and I almost contemplated taking the stairs. But I needed time to gather myself. I needed time to wrap my head around the feeling in my chest. I concentrated on the numbers counting up as the elevator rose. I was breathing heavily as if I had run here and I just couldn't seem to get my breathing under control. I was moving blindly as the doors opened and I rushed down the hall. You can do this. I chanted. You have to do this.
I stood in front of his door for a long moment before I took a deep breath and knocked lightly. Maybe I was hoping that if he didn't hear it then I would have the excuse I needed to leave. But I was in no such luck. He pulled open the door faster than I expected. It scared me and I gasped inhaling the scent of him. He smelt fresh from the shower and was dressed in nothing more than a pair of grey sweats that fell far too low around his hips, his chest bare.
Edward was a beautiful man, that was secret. Had it been in the past I'm sure he would have inspired the great masters. Michelangelo and Da Vinci would have fought over him for sure. I stared at him my mind blank to the reason I had come until our eyes met. My cheeks turned red but he smiled without acknowledging my rude greeting.
He seemed pleased to see me. This gave me little comfort.
"Bella, what are you doing here?"
Trying to tell you I love you, I thought.I opened my mouth and no words formed.
"Uh-"I felt so dumb standing there in my pajamas unable to speak.
Edward breathed and opened the door all the way, inviting me in silently. I was thankfully because I didn't think I would able to help myself if he had spoken. A man that beautiful, that sexy didn't need words to drive any woman mad but it would have pushed me past my breaking point. With one more brief glanced at his body I stepped passed him into his familiar apartment. The TV was on, and a towel sat on the edge of his couch. He must have been sitting there when I knocked. Is that what he'd rushed off to do? I shook the thought from my head. I hadn't come for that. I could hear Alice's voice in my head.
"Now Bella, before it's too late."
I took a deep breath before I turned to him. He grinned as he looked me over from head to toe.
"So what brings you here at this time of night," he questioned with laughter in his voice. A sound that made me want to smile against all odds
"I'm sorry; I know it's really late. Did I disturb you?" My stomach began to turn and I thought I was going to be sick. I was so nervous.
"It's all right. Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?" He asked moving toward the kitchen. My eyes trailed him without my full knowledge.
"Water," I stumbled out. I thought of changing my answer to a glass of wine. I could use some liquid courage right about now. All I'd consumed in the last couple of hours was gone. Edward disappeared and I sighed. You can do this. I told myself. Just say it. Edward I love you. I closed my eyes and muttered the words quietly to myself.
It wasn't so hard to say. I just had to open my eyes and say them but instead I continued to breathe. In. Out. In. Out.
"Here you go," My eyes flew open and he was standing in front of me holding a tall slim glass of water.
"Are you okay Bella, you don't look too well." He stepped forward and touched my cheek. And that was it. That was all it took for my heart to overflow with the love I had for him. I couldn't stop them either, the tears that gushing over the rim of my eyes. This startled Edward.
"Bella," he called cupping my head with both hands. Where the glass had gone I didn't know nor did I care.
"Bella what's wrong. Please talk to me."
There was so much I wanted to say but somehow I knew that the right words would never form. So I would have to resort to plan B. If I couldn't tell him how I felt, then I would just have to show him. I was counting on it being easier than plan A.
I sucked in his scent before I threw myself forward and pushed my lips on his. It was forceful and passionate mimicking the way I felt at the moment. His lips were soft like I remembered and the electricity that flooded my body was unbelievable. He didn't hesitate, like I thought he would to kiss me back, almost as if it was the most natural thing to do.
I couldn't get enough of him as I pulled him as close as I could. I opened my lips to welcome him, wanting to taste him completely. He was sweet and it almost felt like I had never kissed him before. And I realized I really never did, not like this, not when I was pouring my everything into it.
My mind was dancing in my head and my heart was fluttering around in my chest and I knew that this was right. Everywhere he touched me burned like fire and I never wanted him to let go. Each cell in my body was charged by our kiss. And the way he held me, I felt so safe and secure. His skin was hot under my finger tips and I could feel every muscle in his back tense up as he pulled me closer like he couldn't get enough of me. My body began to response to Edward and for moment I felt embarrassed like I was someone else. But then I pushed the thought from my mind. It was only natural to crave the one you love. And I wanted Edward, his mind, his soul and his body. God he felt so good.
Alice had been right. I couldn't have gone any longer without this. I couldn't have survived one more day without Edward. And I still couldn't. And before I knew it I said the words, the three little words that had brought my here.
Edward pulled back suddenly and stared down at me with confused eyes.
"What did you say?"
I took a moment to recover myself before I repeated myself.
"I love you." I spoke. I felt like that didn't explain enough. It didn't even cut the surface of the iceberg that was my love.
"I love you so much it hurts. I didn't know how or when," I began. "But I love you."
Edward just stared at me with an unblinking, unchanging expression. He couldn't speak but I needed him to say something. Anything. The silence was killing me and I wanted to kiss him again.
Suddenly I heard a door open and turned to the see Tanya wrapped in a small towel, water still dripping from her as she used another bath towel to dry her hair.
"Edward do you have something I can change into?" She asked. I stared, frozen.
It was then she glanced up and gasped.
I couldn't move as my brain tried to take in everything. Suddenly I understood. I understood why Edward had rushed off earlier. I understood that I was a fool. I understood that I had been fooled.
Before I knew it I was peeling myself out of Edwards's hands.
"I shouldn't have come." I realized that it was the truth. Alice hadn't been right. I had been. It's not like it could work out for us. He was my boss and I was his assistant. Well not any more, I couldn't work for him anymore. I felt disappointed. I had come to love my job just like I had come to love him but I knew that I couldn't stay.
I turned to grab my purse. The tears were really flowing now. Not from over joy but from the fact that I was the world's biggest idiot. I almost deserved the pain that clutched my chest making it impossible to inhale.
"Bella wait-" I didn't listen. "You are misunderstanding-"Edward began.
"Save it." I spat. I didn't want to hear his lies. This would have never happened if he hadn't led me on in the first place, pretending to be all good and kind when in fact he was just like the rest of the wolves waiting for a shy little lamb to show herself before he sank his venomous fangs into it. Edward was cruel and I knew now, really had been too good to be true.
I was already at the door and stopped for a brief moment.
"I think you should find another assistant." Then I was running. Despite the fact that I couldn't catch my breath I continued to the elevator. Luckily it didn't take long for the doors to open because I heard his voice behind me. Suddenly I hated the sound of my name on his lips but yet my heart still responded.
I was pathetic.
I stumbled into the shaft and pushed the first button I could. I didn't care where it led me; I just needed to get out of here. The air in the building was stifling. I couldn't get enough oxygen and I knew that I wasn't going to make it far. I just hoped that I would feel better once I got outside. I was grateful when the doors opened and I could see it was the lobby floor through my tears. My ribcage hurt and my head was going blank but somehow I made it to the spinning doors. With one last push I reached outside. The cold air hit me hard but it didn't help. Blackness began to take over and the last thing I heard was a familiar voice call my name before I hit the ground.
EPOV*
"Thanks Edward. I owe you one." Tanya limped beside me as we walked to my car. "I hope I didn't ruin your night. What a way to spend New Year's huh?"
I thought back to Bella standing there at her door. She must be so confused. She had no idea that Tanya had been in automobile accident and I had been too shocked to explain that to her properly before I left. Tanya needed someone to pick her up at the hospital. She'd apologized a hundred times for calling me something she didn't have to do. I was only she could get a hold of and she felt bad about ruining my night. "Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're okay." I glance over at her.
She laughed. "Just a few cuts and bruises." She added.
"Are you sure you're okay to be alone. The doctor said that you hit your head pretty hard and that you needed to be watched very carefully for the next twenty-four hours."
"I'm fine Edward, I promise and besides theirs always Irina or Ka -"
"Neither of which is present at the moment Tanya. Don't you remember, Irina and Kate are in Paris and Eleazar and Carmen are at my parents?"
She appeared lost for a moment before her face brightened.
"Oh that's right. I totally forgot. But really, I'll be fi-"
Tanya stated just as she swayed and stumbled? I caught her.
"Were you going to say fine?" I grinned.
She smirked sheepishly. "I'm taking you back to the Hospital." I said it as if we weren't standing in the parking lot.
"No! Please." She stated. Tanya hated hospitals. Ever since her mother passed away, she's hated hospitals. Maybe it was the fact that it was last place she'd seen her mother before she lost the fight to liver cancer. We were thirteen at the time. I stared down at her. She was begging me not too with her puppy dog's gaze. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I sighed.
"Fine, I won't take you back but I'm not letting you out of my sight until you have convinced me that you aren't going to slip into a coma." Tanya chuckled and shrugged.
"Alright have it your way. You're the doctor."
*Forty Minutes Later*
"You really don't have to do this Edward. I can stay at my place and call you if something happens."
"Yes, cause that sounds like a good idea." My voice was dripping in sarcasm as I turned the key to my apartment.
"Just come in." I heard her huff behind me but stepped pass me.
"Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat." I asked Tanya who had dropped unto my couch. She must be exhausted.
"Oh yes I'm starving." She answered. I removed my jacket and rolled up my sleeves before washing my hands.
"I have left over spaghetti?" I asked from the kitchen. Tanya groaned and
I took that as the okay I need to heat up a plate of my famous spaghetti and meatballs.
"Don't forget the parmesan cheese," Tanya added.
I wouldn't dream of it, I thought. Tanya forgot that I knew her like the back of my hand and likewise. We'd grown up together and even shared an apartment in college for a year. Not to mention we dated for that year.
I sat a tray down on the coffee table. "Thanks," She said taking tray and resting it on her lap.
"I'm going to take a shower. You can clean up once I'm done okay."
"I'm not a child you know." She frowned. "Just go." I rustled her hair and went into my bedroom.
I used my time in the shower to help me wrap my head around everything that had taken place in the last twelve hours. Nothing had been crystal clear but I was pretty sure that Bella returned my feelings. She loved me whether she wanted too or not. She was stubborn and probably driving herself crazy denying it to herself but I knew that she couldn't hold on much longer. Not with the way she trembled under my touch. I was glad to learn that she desired me as much as I wanted her. Tonight Bella's kisses had given her away and I was having a hard time controlling myself. More recently I found myself wanting to kiss her all the time. I had only slipped up once tonight and I thought that I was doing great. Bella looked too sexy in her tight little black dress, her smooth legs elongated by her heels… Just the thought of her made the blood rush from my head to a lower region. I quickly turned the water to cool and gasped when the freezing water hit me. It did help to calm me.
With myself back under control my mind continued to meander. I had been truly annoyed when my phone interrupted us; I had been looking forward to kissing her again. And possibly being asked into her apartment for apparent reasons but I would never turn my back on Tanya. Not when she really needed me. I sighed not regretting my decision to run to Tanya's rescue. What I regretted was my failure to contact my assistant. I wondered what she thought of my hasty exit. Was Bella mad? How would I go about my apology? I probably shouldn't go empty handed that's for sure.
I began to frustrate myself so I just let out a deep sigh and wrapped a towel around me. I got dressed and exited my bedroom back into the living room. Tanya was still seated on my couch.
"All done," I announced. She got to her feet. "Great, thanks"
A towel around my bare shoulders I bent over and picked up the tray and took it into the kitchen. I washed the little dishes I had used earlier too and began to dry my dripping hair when I heard my door bell ring. I glanced at the clock on the stove. It was late, much too late for even Alice to bother me. I tossed the towel unto the back of the couch before I opened the door. Somehow I wasn't very surprised to find Bella standing there panting like she'd just run the city marathon. I curious as to why my assistant had raced to my apartment at three thirty in the morning. But I was happy to see her.
"Bella what are you doing here?" Honestly it wasn't safe for her to be wondering the city in her pajamas. I wanted to laugh but I knew it would only make her feel bad which might just drive her away and I would never know why she'd come. So I simply kept my composure.
She opened her month to speak but nothing came. Obviously she had something to say but could not find the words. Suddenly my heart dropped. Had she come to her senses and finally decided to quit. I told myself not to jump to conclusions. I stepped aside to invite her inside. My mind was moving in every direction at once but I forced myself to stay controlled. She stepped placed me and my sense almost vanished. It took everything I had not to pounce on her as I caught her scent. How could one women's perfume drive me so mad?
I watched her nervously glance around my apartment. I chuckled to myself before speaking.
"So what brings you here at this time of night?"
"I'm sorry; I know it's really late. Did I disturb you?" I noticed that she was having a hard time looking at me and then I realized that is was because I wasn't wearing much clothes. I laughed internally. Well at least she found me attractive to the point that it made her nervous to look at me.
"It's all right." I stated taking a step towards her. She moved back simultaneously. "Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?" I asked grinning as I moved toward the kitchen. I could feel her gaze on me and it only made me smile more. Bella was more interesting than ever. And honestly I had her right where I wanted her.
"Water," she stuttered.
I went to cabinet and grabbed a glass and filled it with filtered water on the freezer door.
When I came around the corner, her eyes were closed and it looked like she was concentrating on her breathing. It took everything I had to hold back my laughter.
"Here you go," I stated. Her eyes opened surprised. I wasn't sure if it was because I scared her or the fact that I was standing very, very close to her.
I held up the glass but realized that Bella didn't look well. She was pale, all the blood drained from her face. She was even paler than normal.
"Are you okay Bella, you don't look too well." "I reached up and touched her cheek without a second thought. It all came naturally.
Suddenly her eyebrow creased and tears flooded her eyes. She was crying before I had time to wrap my head around the situation. I called her name as I reached for her. I didn't realize I dropped the glass; the plush carpet muffled the sound, until I felt the wet liquid on my toes. She wouldn't say anything and frankly I was getting edgy.
"Bella what's wrong. Please talk to me." I tried again. God this women had so much power over me that just seeing her tears made my stomach turn. Her silence was driving me to the point of madness. I was about to shake the answer out of her when she suddenly she lunged forward and took my lips with hers.
I was too taken back to respond right away but I soon relaxed and wrapped my arms around her waist. I noticed that this kiss was unlike any kiss I had had before and it surprised me. This kiss was different, almost like it was a silent confession too each other. It was deep and more passionate than ever. There was a raw hungry behind Bella's lips and I knew that if she wanted to stop I wouldn't make it easy. I let out every bit of bent up emotion and feelings and it felt good to kiss Bella without any restraint. She opened her mouth and welcomed me. I could taste the faint hint of wine on her lips. It made my head spin and I craved more.
I knew Bella did too when she wrapped her arms around me and held me close. Bella wanted me that much was clear, what I wanted to know was if she felt the same about me? I felt her speak against my lips but I didn't catch what she said. I pulled away, the burning in my chest becoming too strong to fight.
I stared at her, she was breathless, almost scared.
"What did you say?" I asked. I didn't know exactly what she'd said but I knew what I wanted it to be.
She took a short moment and relaxed back unto her feet. I hadn't realized that I had been holding her up. After all she was more than half a foot shorter than me.
"I love you." She said again. I heard her loud and clear this time but I was frozen. I had wanted her to say those words for so long that it almost seemed like I dream when she did. I was happy but I was still shocked. Still she continued as if she knew I'd need to hear it again.
"I love you so much it hurts. I didn't know how or when," I began. "But I love you."
I started to think how this had happened. How had Bella come to love me? The real me, not the me people thought they knew. How had I lived this long without her? I smiled inside because I knew I couldn't live without her any longer. I wanted to kiss her again, I wanted to tell her how I loved her and never wanted to let her go but instead I heard my bedroom door open. I had completely forgotten that Tanya was here. I turned and saw her in the door way. It was bad timeing if you ever saw one.
"Edward do you have something I can change into?" I almost smacked myself before I glanced over at Bella who was looking at Tanya. Immediately the color drained from her face and I my heart sunk. It seemed like it happened in a flash when Bella disappeared.
Cliffy, hahahaha! Please Review.