Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight, much to my disappointment. SM owns all! No Copy Right Infringement Intended
A/N Here is the much anticipated Chapter 1! Thanks much again to BelleoftheWhitts for being a fantastic Beta! Here we go!
Posting a few days early! Well a day(ish) :D Enjoy!
Chapter 1:
Home is where you can always return
No, matter how long you've been gone.
Sue Clearwater
and
Charlie Swan
Request your presence as they begin a new life together as husband and wife.
Bella,
I know why you left. I respected your privacy; I've never
said a word. Unless you count Sue, and she would never
betray your secret. She's a pretty special woman. Bells.
I'm happy. She makes sure I eat, she takes care of me.
For some reason she finds me irresistibly charming.
I'm crazy about her Bells. Head over heels, feeling
like a gosh-darned teenager again. I know you don't
want to come back. But this is your home, Bella.
Come home.
Come stand with me for my wedding.
Bring my grand-baby.
I understand if you can't come. I know what I'm asking here.
I know it's complicated and messy. And over the last 3 years
everything makes a lot more sense. I know what the Cullen's are Bella.
Jacob... The rest of the boys are... I can't even write it.
You know the old legends, Bells. It's true. I don't think
Jacob intended to hurt you. He was under orders. The
kind you literally can't break.
Come home.
I love you, Bells.
I always have, Always will.
Dad
The wedding announcement sat on my kitchen island mocking me. WOW. Marriage? Charlie? Who saw that one coming? I was filled with joy for my father. But why did he have to bring up the Cullen's? Why did he have to bring up Jake? The hole in my chest festered but I ignored it.
I lifted my cup of French vanilla coffee and took a scalding sip; relishing in the burn that came over my tongue.
A sweet giggle came from the living room, with the muffled sound of Mickey Mouse Club House. I sat my cup down and walked over to the baby gate that separated the small living space from the kitchen.
Elizabeth, 'my little Lizzie' was standing with her hands upon the small white ottoman for my reading chair and dancing like a fish out of water to something called "The Hot-dog Dance." Her russet skin was beautiful, just a shade lighter than the Quileute's.
"What are you doing, silly girl?" I asked in a cheerful voice.
She turned and gave me a blinding smile. It was almost like looking into a mirror. She was the spitting image of me at that age. The only difference was her skin and her perfectly straight coal colored hair.
"Giggey Ouse" she giggled, her arm out stretched pointing merrily to the television.
"Yes, Mickey Mouse." I agreed.
I gingerly stepped over the gate and pulled my nearly 3 year old daughter into my lap. Sitting with more grace than you would have thought possible on to the small love-seat sectional. She pressed her face against my chest and pulled back with an impish grin.
"Shishes." she demanded grabbing my face with her soft chubby hands.
I leaned forward and kissed her over and over again causing her to shriek with laughter. The sound was addicting, and rebounded around the room with a clear echo.
"You give Momma those kisses." I told her between smooches.
You *kiss* give *kiss* Momma *kiss* those *kiss* kisses *small kisses all over her face*
When I stopped we were both breathless, she still had a small case of the giggles and I snuggled her close to me, gently sweeping the hair off her face and peering into her eyes. Predictably she pulled herself away until I placed her back onto the floor and she toddled back over to the ottoman engrossed in yet another episode of Mickey Mouse. In case you didn't know, it was her favorite show.
We lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment in Keene, New Hampshire. We shared a full sized bed and the bedroom had a small bookcase and rocking chair. The saving grace of the room was the walk in closet where I not only kept all of my clothes, but I kept Lizzie's dresser. It gave the illusion we had more space. The living room had a small sectional and my squashy reading chair; we had a moderate sized TV mounted to the wall and a sleek black entertainment center, which the ottoman blocked. And two plush chairs to eat at the small breakfast bar. It was small, but it was home for the last few years.
My walls were covered with photos of Lizzie and clumsily colored on photos. I was a mom through and through. Thinking back on my past and that I was so willing to give up my humanity made me sick to my stomach. Had I become … one of them, I'd never have had my sweet little Lizzie. I let my mind drift to Charlie's letter. Legends... I closed my eyes taking a deep breath and I saw Laurent. I saw the wolves. WOLVES! I counted the wolves in my memory, there had been 5. Just like when Jacob came out of the woods.
The Russet colored wolf that had seemed to stare right at me.
I looked at Lizzie in horror. If this was true it was in her DNA.
The fact that Charlie had been able to write it out at all shocked me. So he finally knew everything? I guess with how I handled things I shouldn't be surprised that my father would take it all in stride. Renee however, she would have been furious...
I took a deep breath and stood up. I was able to get back into the kitchen without Lizzie tearing her eyes away from the colorful show on TV. I picked up my cell phone and called the familiar number.
"Chief Swan." his gruff voice answered.
"Hi Dad." I whispered.
It had to have been at least 6 months since my last phone call. I usually would call at night and leave a message. I was too much of a coward, not wanting to hear disappointment in my dad's voice. I knew if I could hear his pain, I would go home, and I hadn't been ready.
… Silence…
"I got your announcement today." I offered meekly, trying to get a reaction.
"Bella?" His voice was just as I remembered it, only sounding like he was in shock.
"Yeah, Dad."
"Oh honey, you sound so grown up." There it was. The pain coloring his tone...
I could hear the sadness and unbidden tears came to my eyes, "I think we're going to come home."
"We?" The hope in his aged voice brought tears to my eyes.
"Elizabeth and I." I clarified, "Lizzie for short, your granddaughter."
"You had a girl?"
I felt horrible. I had kept in contact with Charlie over the years, but I never shared anything. I was so paranoid that Jacob would find out... I tried my best to avoid talking about Lizzie. He knew I'd given birth. He knew we were both healthy. I was a wretched human being; an even worse daughter.
"Yes." I whispered, "Oh Daddy, she's beautiful!"
I could almost hear the tears leaking out of Charlie's eyes.
"I kept your room how you left it." he told me softly.
"Give me the day to figure some things out and then I'll catch the next available flight... Don't tell anyone yet." I pleaded.
I needed to get home. While this place had been home, it wasn't. Home is the place where you belong. Where you are loved and wanted. Where you surrounded yourself with family and friends...
"I won't."
"I love you Dad."
"Love you too kid."
I hung up the phone feeling remorse that I'd denied Charlie nearly 3 years of his granddaughter's life. I had deprived my sweet little baby of knowing her grandpa, of knowing her father. No, matter what Jacob had said and done to me, I should have told him he was going to be a father. It was never about me and the pain he caused me. It was about doing the right thing. At the time the right thing was distance. But he had a right to know he was a father.
How could you have? He wouldn't even look you in the eye. He never even gave you the chance to explain. He said the things he knew would hurt the most.
I frowned at the voice in my mind. Sighing I walked into the small bedroom and pulled out my suitcase. I packed myself enough clothes for a week. Then I packed nearly Lizzie's entire wardrobe which seriously outshone my own.
Once I was packed I pulled the bag to the living room and smiled at Lizzie. I lifted her easily in my arms and opened the apartment door and walked to the room down the hall and knocked on the door.
"Hey Bella, what brings you by?" My neighbor and super Kimberly asked.
"Hey I'm going to be going out of town for a week or two with Lizzie... I know its short notice..."
Kim held up her hand and frowned. "Are you running?"
I heaved a sigh and switched Lizzie to my other hip, "Is it running if you're going home?"
"Home?" She repeated her tone disbelieving.
"My dad is getting married." I attempted to explain.
The silence stretched out and she grinned at me, "Take all the time you need Hun. I'll save the apartment for you..."
"I can pay a few months in advance... I... I don't know if I'll come back..." I told her honestly. "I mean I have every intention of returning, but…"
She gave me a small knowing smile, "Don't worry about it. You just take care of that little angel."
I gave her a watery smile and walked back into my apartment. I set to work packing anything I might need if I never came back. Then I opened my laptop and found a flight leaving that evening. I had just enough time if we left right now...
Getting everything into the car was a challenge but somehow I managed. We made it to the boarding gate just as they were about to close the doors.
"Where goin?" Lizzie asked as the flight took off.
"We're going to see your Grandpa." I explained carefully, "Momma's dad."
"Mama Dad!?" She asked cocking her head adorably to one side.
"Yes."
She looked puzzled for a few minutes. "Where my Dad?"
Those three little words hurt like hell. My heart thumped painfully in my chest as I tried to hold in the sobs that I wanted desperately to let out. I was somehow able to compose myself and smile, although it might have actually been more of a grimace.
"I'm not sure baby. But if you want we can try to find him."
She nodded sleepily and curled up in my lap, "Loves you Mama."
I kissed the top of her head and willed myself not to cry, "Love you too, silly girl."
The flight was uneventful and arriving to heavy rain in Seattle was almost comical. I realized I hadn't brought Liz's car-seat and mentally smacked myself.
Toting a toddler and luggage around downtown Seattle was NOT what I had in mind, but I didn't have much of a choice. I was lucky that over the past 3 years I had learned a little bit about investing in a community college course I took. It was a 6 month course I took while I was pregnant with Lizzie. I wanted to be prepared for her. The money I took from the Cullen's... Well let's just say with some smart stock moves I didn't have to worry about money. I was able to be with Lizzie at all times. I had even taken up creative writing and had a few children's books published under a fake name. 'Irene Swallow.'
So it wasn't the most creative, but it worked for me. It worked for Lizzie.
It didn't take long to negotiate myself a brand new Honda CR-V with the works for twenty six thousand dollars cash. Being able to pay with a few presses on my cell phone still amazed me. Then I was able to walk to a department store and pick up a brand new car-seat...
Because it was late I decided to grab a hotel room for the night. I called Charlie and let him know I would be there early tomorrow afternoon.
…
The drive to Forks was filled with nervous energy. I was practically vibrating in my seat. Lizzie fell asleep on the way and I was able to have a mini freak out, without freaking HER out. We reached the city limits and my heart began beating like a drum against my chest. In that moment I was a grown woman, nearly 22 and a single mother. I wasn't the same broken girl who left this place, hoping to never come back. I was stronger in my self-confidence and I didn't need a man to define me.
The drive to Charlie's I could have done in my sleep. The familiar chipped white siding came into view and the cruiser was in the driveway. I pulled in beside it and parked the car. I sat silently looking at the house with a sense of relief. I was really here. The house could use a fresh coat of paint, the yard could use a little TLC, but it was still home.
I got out slowly drinking in my surroundings allowing the feelings of completeness seep into me. I shut the car door simultaneously as the front door opened. Charlie stood framed in the doorway he looked aged with flecks of gray in his moustache. His eyes were crinkled in that all too familiar way and my heart burst with love. I had missed him more than I had realized.
"Bells."
I ran at my father and he met me halfway, we tumbled to the grass both laughing at the absurdity of our reunion. Neither one of us were very good at showing emotions, but in this moment that didn't seem to matter.
"Let me look at you." he said getting to his feet and helping me to mine.
His eyes crinkled as he took me in. "You're all grown up."
I smiled and kissed his cheek, "I'm still your little girl Dad."
I walked over to the backseat and opened the car door. I unbuckled my precious cargo feeling Charlie's eyes on me the whole time. I gently pulled her out and she snuggled into my neck.
Charlie walked up to me quietly. "She's beautiful." he choked.
"Wanna hold her?" I asked.
I shifted my sleeping daughter into Charlie's arms and it just felt right.
"I can see you both in her." He told me.
"I can too."
He carried her into the house and I grabbed my luggage and pulled it into the house. Everything was the same. The smell of home brought tears to my eyes.
Charlie met me in the small hall and pulled me into another hug. "I laid her on the sofa." He explained tenderly.
I hugged my dad, "How am I supposed to tell Jacob?" I asked tearfully.
Charlie put me at arm's length. "You just do, Bells."
I walked into the kitchen trying to keep myself busy and trying to not think about the sure to be awkward conversation that I would have to have with Jacob Black. I opened the fridge and grinned in spite of myself. Nothing was in the fridge besides some beer. The awful yellow cabinets were also pretty bare.
"She should sleep for a while." I began looking at Charlie, "Do you mind if I run to the store?"
He grinned sheepishly, "I don't mind."
Walking around the grocery store without Lizzie felt wrong. No one was pointing at random items and begging for them. No one was giggling in the seat. It hit me that I had never been away from her before. Not needing a 9-5 job and being able to write from home, Lizzie was just always with me.
I filled the cart with healthy foods and decided I would make Charlie a large lasagna. It was Lizzie's favorite too.
I was at the checkout when I heard it.
"No fucking way."
I turned to the annoyed voice and recognized the face of Leah Clearwater. I hadn't seen her since we were just kids. But her attitude and stance was unmistakable. Her eyes were narrowed and her mouth was set in a hard line.
I turned my back ignoring her, paid for the groceries and left. I could feel her following me out, but paid her no mind. I opened the trunk and began loading my groceries feigning ignorance.
"Why are you back." she all but growled at me.
I turned to her and let out a loud sigh, "My dad invited me to the wedding."
She rolled her eyes and grimaced. "You shouldn't have come back."
Irritated I got up in her face, "Like it or not Leah, this is home. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me or WHY I left. So I don't know who you think YOU are, telling me I shouldn't have come back. This is my home. Charlie is MY dad. And apparently WE are going to be sisters. Deal with it."
She seemed completely taken aback by my abrasiveness. But I didn't care. I left her standing opened mouthed as I loaded the last groceries to the car. I got into the car shaking, Leah and I might not have been close. We had been friends once; I didn't understand her hostility towards me at all. I looked into the rear-view mirror; I noticed her eyes flickering to the car-seat in the back and the line that self-satisfied smirk that graced her lips. I drove back to Charlie's trying to control my breathing.
As I walked into my childhood home my tension eased, seeing Charlie crawling around on the ground with Lizzie on his back. It took me two trips for all the groceries and still my father and Lizzie hadn't noticed I was back.
"Gwampa faster." she was giggling.
My heart melted as I began prepping the food. I laughed when I heard Charlie surrendering. I knew Lizzie could be very rambunctious and she was always so full of energy, it amazed me how much stamina Charlie had. I idly wondered what life would have been like growing up, had we stayed in Forks; if my father had a larger role in my life.
"Bells we didn't hear you come in." Charlie grinned, walking into the kitchen holding Lizzie.
"Mama Mama!" Lizzie cried reaching for me.
"Mama's making lasagna!" I told her shaking my head. She knew I wouldn't hold her while prepping for a big meal.
"MMMMM" she and Charlie sighed together.
Just as I was putting the lasagna in the oven there was an earth shattering pounding on the front door.
"I know she's in there Charlie, I need to see her." Jacob's voice boomed...
A/N AHHHHHH! So Chapter 1 is out of the way! :D What do you think? I know it's a bit of a time jump from the Prologue but it was needed, to show Bella's transformation without making this story tooo long! :D Reviews are Love!
Tabby