A/N: So warning, this chapter is maybe extra emotional for the characters. But I still hope you enjoy!

Chapter Thirty Seven

BPOV*

I was dreaming, I knew that much but I couldn't figure out if it was a good dream or was I having a night mare? My heart was pounding in my ears and I was drenched in sweat, clammy all over. I stood amidst the darkness and watched myself in Edwards's arms. He held me so tenderly and kissed me like I something almost too precious to be touched. We looked really happy, especially Edward. He was the happiest I'd ever seen him and for a moment I forgot the discomfort that sat heavy on my chest.

Both myself and I smiled at the same time and immediately we knew that it had been a bad idea when Edward pulled away suddenly disgusted. He turned away and I watched as the other me fell to her knees, tears flooding her eyes. My vision grew blurry and I realized then that I was crying as well. It would seem that I felt what she felt. The pain was overwhelming, so much so I too found myself on my knees. She opened her mouth and so did I. She called out his name, but no sound would form from me. The pain I heard in her voice was almost tangible as she screamed after Edward. My attention was then drawn to him as he walked away.

Edward never stopped walking nor did he ever glance back. It was like I didn't exist. I turned back to look at myself and our gaze met. She was hurt and angry, and she let me know by screaming that this was my entire fault. My heart sunk to my stomach as her words echoed over and over again in my head. I tried to block her out by covering my ears but nothing helped. I screamed to drowned her out but it only made it worst. Suddenly the darkness around me began to close in on me as I crumbed to the floor. I started to panic. I was sucking in air but nothing relieved the feeling that I was suffocating. One last tear escaped before the blackness came over me.

When I came too the vision of my dream burned dimly in the foreground of my mind. I struggled to open my eyes because of the bright fluorescent lights overhead. I could hear the low beeping of a heart monitor close by and I knew where I was. I had spent enough time in hospitals as a child that I could recognize the familiar scent of alcohol and sanitizer. My brain felt sluggish from the drugs coursing through my veins but unfortunately it wasn't enough to wipe my memory. I remembered everything, how I stupidly rushed to Edwards's apartment, our kiss and Tanya.

And if my dream wasn't enough, the pain in my chest was more than adequate to convince me of the truth. Edward obviously didn't feel the same way about me. I was stupid and fell for him even though I knew that I was incapable of being the one. But I still loved him anyhow and that was what hurt the most. The fact that I had given my all just to be hurt again. Was I so incapable of being loved?

I was tearing up just thinking about it. But I didn't want to cry, not over this. Not over Edward Cullen who was probably lying in the arms of his beautiful ex or current girlfriend right now. I tried to raise my arm to wipe away my fallen tears but it felt heavy, almost as if there was a weight on it. I turned slowly only to find Edward sitting there, his hand clinging to mine, his head resting on the edge of my bed. He was using his arms as a pillow. I suddenly felt the warmth of his hand and knew that he'd been there holding unto me for a long time.

My heart burst open then, and I began to cry openly. I knew I shouldn't have been happy to see him here, but I couldn't help myself. I should be angry because I felt betrayed but I still loved him. I still wanted him to love me so badly it pained me. I was pathetic, but it was this Edward that made it hard to resist. Why was he so nice to me when I was nothing more to him than an assistant? Why did I always feel special around him? Why did he have to make me fall for him?

I stayed there like that for a moment, taking in these last few minutes but I knew I had to end this. I had to let go of Edward or I would never be able to get over him. I cleared my face what the arm attached to the monitor and breathed deeply to compose myself. Slowly I pulled my hand from him instantly putting up a wall to resist what was coming next. I knew it would only take one look from him and I would be undone.

The movement made Edward stir and he slowly opened his eyes. When he realized that I was awake he sat up. He was gorgeous as usually, blinding really even haven just woke up. God, did this man's perfection have no end? I frowned realizing the gap between us was further than I had originally thought.

"Bella, oh my god Bella." He touched my hand again and it felt like fire.

"How do you feel? I'm so glad you're awake. " I couldn't deny that he looked relived but it didn't matter.

"Are you?" I uttered pulling my hand away again.

"Bella," He grimaced.

"Why are you even here?" I snapped. "Don't you have somewhere else to be," I turned away as much as I could. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep but I was pretty sure he was supposed to be half way around the world by now. And honestly I was hoping he had been, it would make it this so much easier.

"Okay I think we need to talk." He stated.

"I think you should leave." I spat. I hadn't realized it would be this hard to keep up the angry that I had built but I wouldn't back down. To make it easier I averted my eyes from him altogether.

I heard him sigh.

"Are you done?"

My eye widen with surprise and angry. "Done? " I snapped back around. Edward calmly sat in the chair, his arms folded over his chest. Sitting up I winched because the sudden action made me use my sore muscles.

"How dare you? " I voiced. And how dare him. He was the one who made me look like a fool and he had the nerve to be smug about it. My temper flared.

"Get out!" When he didn't move it made it worst. Was he enjoying torturing me?

"I SAID GE…"

"I 'm waiting." He stated evenly.

"Waiting? For what? Haven't you used me as a play thing for long enough. I'm not just something for your amusement..." I was crying again. I hated crying in front of him but I couldn't stop. I was too angry and much too irritated to care right now.

He stood and moved to sit on the edge of the bed so close that I had to lean back to get away from him. He smelt like soap and sunshine. His closeness made my pulse race and the monitor pick it up. I blushed but continued to stand my ground. Edward smiled.

"I'm waiting for you calm down so that I can explain to you that I love you."

"I don't care what you want, just leave me al- wait. What did you say?" Love, did he say love?

Edward continued to smile. "I thought that would get your attention." My mind was suddenly numb. Had I heard him correctly or was the medication fogging my head causing me to hallucinate. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts.

"No you heard correctly but since you don't seem to understand I will say it again." This time he grabbed my head and neck making it impossible to look anywhere but at him. His green eyes turned intense and then in all seriousness he spoke.

"I love you Bella Swan."

What was he saying? Why was he toying with me? Didn't he understand that this wasn't a game? I truly loved him so why was he saying these things. Things that made my heart pitter patter in my chest. I wanted to believe him. Honestly did. I wanted to believe that he loved him but I just didn't know how it was possible when he had someone like Tanya.

I turned my eyes away. "Don't. Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying to you Bella. I love you."

"Stop saying that!" I cried shoving him away. Edward didn't react the way I thought or hoped he would. He kept his calm when I was hoping he would just get angry and leave. But that wasn't the Edward I knew and loved.

"Why do you think that it's impossible that I do." He probed.

"Because it is,"

"But I do love you." He almost laughed.

I turned back to him, tears streaming down my face. I had had enough. I was dying inside because I wanted him to really love me so bad.

"Why are you doing this? It isn't funny?" I stated through blurry vision.

"I know Bella. And I promise you this is not a joke. I am insanely in love with you. I have been since the moment I saw you seating in my office wearing those jeans." He laughed to himself. "I say insanely because you drive me crazy. Oh you drive me crazy." He stated running his hands through his hair. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had never seen this Edward. Edward was always in control, even with James he had managed to control himself, but this Edward was frustrated, happy and nervous. Was I really the cause of this Edward?

"I don't think you have any idea how you affect me. I think about you all the time. No matter what it is I'm doing I always find myself wondering what you are doing. It's enough to drive a man insane. I tried not to, believe me I tried. I wanted to maintain a professional relationship with you but I couldn't stop from falling in love with you. You are hypnotic. You are beautiful, clumsy and a little irrational, but I love you. Do you understand?" I tried to grasp his words but my head was swirling in every direction. Had he said I was beautiful and that I drive him crazy? I wasn't sure, all I really knew was that Edward was not lying. Edward would never waste his time to tell me all of this if he didn't truly mean it. Edward really did love me. Why hadn't understood that before. I wanted to hit myself. I really was a fool.

"Tanya?" I asked. I had to clear this up before we could move forward. I needed to know what she meant to him.

Edward let out a strained breath again. "That was a huge misunderstanding. That night when I walked you home Tanya had been in a car accident. "I gasped. "She'd text me from the hospital, she needed me to come get her. She's had bad experiences with hospitals and was really freaking out. I should have told you this sooner, I just wasn't thinking straight between you and everything that was happening. It is true that Tanya and I have a past, but it's just that. The past. I love Tanya but it's different than the way I feel about you. Tanya will always be like a sister to me, but I love you Bella. You are my life now." He stopped for moment and for the first time I think I saw him blush.

"Do you believe me?" He reached up and touched my wet cheeks, and wiped them with his thumb. As if I could, I felt his love through his touch. It was so tender, the way you touched someone very precious. Edward had always treated me with tenderness. He had always acted like I was special. And now I knew why.

"I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to understand but I'll say it as many times as you need. Bella I lo-"

I cut him off with my lips. I threw myself around his neck and kissed him with everything I had. He responded to me immediately, pulling me to him. I didn't care about the monitor that I had pulled across the room; all I wanted was to drown myself in Edward's arms. I knew that this fire that burned for Edward would never be quenched. I would want him forever and then some. We kissed until our lungs burned.

Edward pulled back and smiled.

"So I guess you believe me." My face turned red but I nodded. I didn't have a reason to be self-conscious anymore. Edward loved me beyond all reason and I was ecstatic. I couldn't imagine being more happy.

"I love you," I spoke no longer weary of his reaction or judgment. I knew there would come a day when I would feel insecure standing next to Edward but I'm sure he'd find some way to wipe the thought from my head.

Suddenly another thought crossed my mind.

"Hey aren't you supposed to be Japan?"

Edward looked taken back. "Japan? Who said I was going to Japan?"

I frowned and hissed under my breath.

"Alice." I stated through clenched teeth. I was going to kill her. This was all her fault. If she hadn't burst into my apartment at three in the morning and demanded I go after Edward I would have never gone to his apartment and would have never seen Tanya and Edward would have called me the next day to explain everything and this whole big misunderstanding would have never happened. I shut my eyes in frustration.

That was it. Alice was done controlling my life. I loved her but this was the finally straw. I'd just have to stumble through life without her every assistance.

I opened my eyes and Edward was staring at me worried. But I was grateful because Alice was right. I would have never gotten here without her help.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I smiled and gave him a kiss.

"I'm absolutely perfect."

I hope you liked it. They finally expressed to each other thier feelings. I had a hard time with this chapter. I wanted so many things to happen but sometimes the simpliest route is best. I was going to make this the last chapter, but I'm working on the Epilouge, just to kinda sum things up. I hate stories that don't give a little glance of what the future looks like and leave you hanging, wondering if something that was the mentioned through out the entire story happened or not. But not me. You may not appreciate it, but I will. Please read and Review. And have a Happy 4th!