"So how are things with Lexa?" Octavia asked, earning her an alarmed look from Clarke. "Come on, I'm not dumb. Anyone can see that you two are... whatever you two are."
Clarke fiddled with the hairs at the base of her horse's withers. She knew that she couldn't exactly be public about her relationship with Lexa, and she wouldn't be pleased if Octavia knew about their relationship.
"It's not what you think," Clarke said diplomatically, staring out at the horizon then back down at her horse, pretty much anywhere but Octavia's eyes. "We're friends, yes, and we've been spending time together, yes, but-"
"But also you're hooking up," Octavia said, grinning madly.
"We are not hooking up," Clarke protested. "Hooking up implies there's no emotions involved and-"
"And there's lots of emotions involved when you two are between the sheets?" Octavia finished.
"And I don't sleep around!" Clarke corrected her.
"So it's exclusive!" Octavia cried, and Clarke was mentally kicking herself for revealing so much.
"She brought me flowers this morning," Clarke admitted, since Octavia had figured out the basic details anyways. Octavia raised her eyebrows and smirked, but didn't say anything. "What?"
"What else does she do?" Octavia asked, suddenly unable to meet Clarke's gaze.
"I don't know, like we hold hands a lot and she braids my hair a lot," Clarke said, shrugging. "I guess it's kinda cute, I mean I never-"
"Clarke," Octavia said, laughing. "She's going to propose to you."
"I mean, I guess that's something to think about down the road," Clarke agreed, considering the idea.
"No, like she's getting ready to propose now," Octavia insisted. "Lincoln was telling me about this stuff and it definitely sounds like she wants to marry you."
"That doesn't make sense, we're not even public about our relationship yet," Clarke protested. "We haven't even said I love you yet."
"Grounders take forever to actually pop the question, don't worry," Octavia replied. "Usually their marriages are arranged, but a woman of Lexa's status would definitely be able to choose a partner. And she probably doesn't want it to be public because she doesn't want to mislead her people."
"Mislead them into what?" Clarke asked, trying to ignore the pit in her stomach.
"Into thinking that you're hooking up," Octavia replied, grinning. "If I were you, I'd try to beat her to the punch. She'd love it."
"How? What's the next step?" Clarke asked, becoming desperate.
"Well you can't just start from step three, Clarke," Octavia said, as if it were obvious. "You gotta start from braiding hair, then the flowers, then the boar heart-"
"The boar heart?" Clarke asked, incredulously. "That can't be real."
"It's not, I just wanted to see if you would fall for it," Octavia agreed. "The next step would be giving her a weapon of some kind, and if she uses it in battle, you can propose."
"Sounds simple enough," Clarke supposed, leaning back a little in her saddle, and trying to get her mind around the whole concept. "It kind of makes me wish she wasn't so hellbent on being peaceful though."
That night, Clarke crept into Lexa's room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Lexa was sitting on the bed, reading, and looked up in surprise when she saw Clarke. Without saying anything, Clarke slipped into the sheets beside Lexa, putting her arms around her and closing her eyes as she leaned her head against Lexa's.
"Are you alright?" Lexa asked, her voice as cautious as if she were walking on eggshells.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Clarke said. She paused for a moment, and swore that Lexa would be able to hear her heart hammering in her chest. "I love you."
Lexa leaned away for a brief moment, and Clarke opened her eyes to meet Lexa's. She stared back at her, equal parts shocked and overjoyed.
"You don't have to say it back if you're not ready, I just-"
"I love you too," Lexa replied before Clarke could start doubting herself. Clarke raised her eyebrows, surprised to hear it reciprocated. "I just didn't think you'd be the first to say it."
"I didn't think you were going to be the first to say it either," Clarke laughed.
"What made you say it now?" Lexa asked, setting her book aside. "I didn't even know you were here- aren't you supposed to be at Arkadia?"
"I left a little early," Clarke admitted. Lexa gave her a look. "Not that early, I just rode really fast because I was dying to see you."
"I missed you as well," Lexa replied. "Any news from Jaha?"
"He asked me the same thing about you," Clarke replied. "I told him that I didn't feel comfortable talking to you about it, that we're not that close, and that snooping around Polis might create some tension between our people. He agreed to drop it for now."
"For now?" Lexa inquired.
"He'll probably keep looking for it, he'll just have to be more discreet about it," Clarke explained. "Maybe we should put him on the wrong track to keep him busy for a while?"
"That's only a temporary solution," Lexa protested. "And if he found out that we lied to him, he'd immediately suspect us. Can we kill him?"
"Lexa, no," Clarke laughed, though the idea had crossed her mind once or twice. "So... What do we do?"
"We wait for him to make his move," Lexa said grimly. "If he makes his move, that is."
Hoping that it would calm them both down, Clarke took to braiding Lexa's hair. The repetitive back and forth, criss-crossing motions made Clarke's eyelids droop, and she was definitely not as skilled as Lexa, so she just did small braids that would easily get lost among the russet tresses.
"Octavia knows about us," Clarke admitted guiltily. Lexa tensed slightly. "I didn't directly tell her, but she just guessed."
"Do you trust her still?" Lexa asked, seemingly unfazed by this information.
"Yeah, I think so," Clarke agreed. Lexa slumped back against Clarke.
"Then it's not a problem," Lexa assured, tilting her head back to look up at Clarke. Clarke smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"Okay, so I did the hair braiding thing- help me find some flowers," Clarke said to Octavia, the following morning. Lexa had gone off to visit one of the Ocean Nation, to make sure everything was in order, so there was no risk of getting caught.
"It's impossible to get any work done when you're constantly berating me for relationship advice," Octavia protested.
"Do you actually have work to do?"
"No, but one day, I will, and you'll have to work through this yourself," Octavia grumbled, letting Clarke haul her up to her feet.
The forest was alive with the chatter of birds and the soft whisper of the wind rustling through the leaves of the treetops. Somewhere, a creek babbled in the distance. Everything was green, and when Clarke closed her eyes, all she felt was peace.
"So have you done any of this with Lincoln?" Clarke asked as they started wandering off the beaten path caused by years of the Trikru using this forest for hunting and gathering.
"He's braided my hair a couple times," Octavia admitted, smiling almost shyly. It was a different side of Octavia that Clarke wasn't used to seeing. "We talked about it and we agreed that now wouldn't be a good time to get into all that, but maybe since you and Lexa..."
She trailed off and Clarke could see her considering the idea. The younger girl's eyes lit up and suddenly there was a sense of purpose in her stride.
After half a day's worth of walking, the forest cleared into a meadow. Clarke recognized it- they were dangerously close to where Mount Weather was. The grass is dotted with different colours of flowers: daisies, violets, black eyed susans... Clarke wished she'd brought some art supplies with her. Perhaps she'd come back someday. An image of spending an afternoon with Lexa in the meadow was created in her mind and Clarke knew she wouldn't feel peace until she got it down on paper.
"Any specific flowers we're looking for?" Clarke asked when she found her breath once again.
"Doesn't matter, as long as they're all the same colour," Octavia said, already bending down to pluck some flowers of her own.
Clarke settled on a theme of yellow flowers, since they were the most abundant. Once she gathered enough, she settled down in the soft grass to weave them into a crown.
"I can't believe the Commander of Death is sitting in a meadow, making a flower crown for her girlfriend," Octavia laughed.
"Don't call me that," Clarke mumbled, focusing on the flowers rather than Mount Weather. It was hard to keep the negativity out of her brain, especially in such close proximity to it, and Octavia's comments didn't help much.
"It was just a joke," Octavia replied. "Sorry."
"It's okay," Clarke said, taking a deep breath and letting it go. She closed her eyes and breathed in the sunshine on her face, the smell of the meadow, the slight breeze that stirred the grass... And once again she felt okay.
"I got you something," Clarke said excitedly when Lexa returned from the Ocean Nation that night. Lexa's tired expression turned to something more inquisitive. Clarke walked over to the window sill where she'd been keeping the flower crown while she waited for Lexa to return. She lifted it carefully and carried it back to the doorway where Lexa was. "May I?"
Lexa smiled and bowed her head so that Clarke could place it on her head.
"I'm flattered, but in our culture, there are certain implications-"
"I know what it means, Lexa," Clarke said, watching Lexa's eyes widen a little in the dark of Clarke's room. "Octavia explained it to me. But where you planning on telling me that you were getting ready to propose to me? The flowers at breakfast the other day, the braiding..."
"Clarke, I understand your confusion, but I wasn't planning on proposing yet," Lexa explained, blushing. All Clarke heard was the word 'yet'. "I hadn't expected you to understand our ways so thoroughly, so the flowers were just a gesture, not a proposal."
There was a brief pause before Lexa calmly added, "Unless you want it to be."
"Lexa, I'm not ready to get married," Clarke laughed nervously. "When Octavia said that you were planning on proposing I nearly fell off my horse, I was so shocked. Pleasantly shocked, of course, but still shocked. But in a year or so, let's have this conversation again."
"I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my actions," Lexa said. "But yes, in some time, I hope we will reconsider the idea."
Unable to stand being apart from Lexa any longer, Clarke wrapped her arms around her waist and held on tight. At first, Lexa seemed startled, but soon relaxed into the hug and held Clarke just as tightly.
"Heda, we have to prepare for-" Titus' voice cut off abruptly as he came across the Commander tangled up in bed with Clarke. It was an innocent enough scene, both were clothed and sleeping peacefully, but it was still awkward.
"What is it?" Lexa asked, unfazed by the situation. She sat up, but kept one hand on Clarke's thigh.
"The one that your people call Pike is here," he said with a nod to Clarke, who was sitting up as well. "He wants to speak with you. I told him that you were occupied but he wouldn't hear it. He's being contained but you must deal with the situation immediately."
"Very well," Lexa said. If she was afraid, her voice gave away no indication of it. "Leave us to get dressed."
Once Titus left, Lexa turned to face Clarke.
"Lexa, I swear, I had no idea this would happen," Clarke said, her heart jumping into her throat. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that she was in bed with someone who could kill her twenty different ways with just her bare hands.
"Don't worry, I'm not angry with you," Lexa assured, pressing a gentle kiss to Clarke's forehead. "Pike will face proper punishment for trespassing on my land. He will no longer be a threat to us."
"How are you so calm? What if he's here to try and attack you?" Clarke asked.
"I do not worry myself with 'what ifs'," Lexa explained. "I prepare myself for the worst case scenario, and go from there. Plus, I have the mighty Wanheda at my mercy."
Clarke rolled her eyes but allowed the nickname to slip, for the second time. There was a serenity and steadiness to Lexa's voice that made the name sound endearing, and the fond way that she looked at Clarke while saying it made her realize that she could even grow to embrace it. Only from Lexa, of course.
"You said that you're the Commander, and that nobody fights for you," Clarke said softly. "I'm no one."
Lexa beamed, and opened her mouth to say more when Titus knocked on the glass door, signaling them to hurry up. Somewhat frantically, but still in a composed and fluid fashion, Lexa quickly dressed herself. Clarke helped her with the excessive amounts of buckles and straps.
"Are you going back to bed?" Lexa asked, smearing on some war paint when Clarke suggested it. "He is, after all, one of your people."
"Like I'd let you go without me," Clarke scoffed, tugging on a pair of jeans and a shirt that was laying on the floor somewhere. She then helped Lexa quickly braid her hair, combing out the tangles gently with her fingers.
As they left the comfort of Clarke's bedroom, Titus gave them an impatient look, but settled down when Lexa raised her eyebrows at him. It made Clarke wonder how long they'd known each other, or if they used to be close. But she didn't comment on it.
"Chancellor Pike," Lexa said, effectively making her presence known. Everyone in the room turned to look at her, including Pike. He was being held back by two warriors, but he made no effort to lunge at her. Since Emerson, Clarke had learned to be wary of uninvited guests.
"Lexa," Pike greeted, and Clarke couldn't help but recoil at the way he addressed her so informally. Of course, he'd have no way of understanding the amount of power Lexa held, or the respect she warranted, but hearing the use of her first name seemed offensive. "I come in peace."
Clarke nearly laughed out loud, but chewed on the inside of her lip to keep quiet. Lexa gave him a calculated look.
"I should hope so," Lexa said, raising her eyebrows just slightly. "You are neglecting the terms of your banishment. Give me a reason I shouldn't kill you here, on the spot."
"Would your people really settle for that? What happened to blood must not have blood?" Pike asked, narrowing his eyes, completely unphased by the position that he was in. Clarke had lost track of who knew what, but she was fairly certain that she hadn't told Pike about Lexa's new policy. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach at the idea that Pike could have an inside man.
"The terms were clear," Lexa said. "If you were caught trespassing on our land, we were to kill you. That was your people's idea, not mine. I agreed to abide by these terms, so I'll ask you one more time. Give me a reason why I shouldn't kill you right now."
"Your people have to leave here," Pike said, and Clarke couldn't keep her jaw from dropping. After everything that had happened to Pike because of his insane ideas, he still wanted to try and claim the land. "Or I'll take it."
"You alone, or...?" Lexa trailed off as Pike gave a nod to someone behind Clarke and Lexa. Clarke turned and saw the flash of metal before she heard the gun. She immediately dove towards Lexa, pushing her out of the way, but not nearly fast enough. The warriors holding Pike pushed him back against the brick wall, pinning him there with the points of their swords, while other warriors waded into the audience to find the shooter.
Clarke's hands searched Lexa frantically for the entry wound from the bullet, and was met with sticky black blood at Lexa's waist. Luckily, it hadn't pierced any vital organs, so Lexa's body would still be able to function properly while Clarke tried to help her.
"Clarke," Lexa said, her green eyes round and glassy with fear.
"Don't worry, you're going to be fine," Clarke insisted, though her voice trembled as much as her hands. It was difficult to unbuckle the jacket when her hands were shaking like leaves. "I need something to stop the bleeding!"
A healer was ushered into the room as the onlookers were ushered out. Clarke moved aside to give the healer room to do their job, but kept her hands firmly on the wound to minimize blood loss until the healer was ready to work.
"Who did this?" Lexa demanded, and even in her weakened state she was still a force to be reckoned with. "And how were they able to obtain Skaikru weapons?"
"I don't know," Clarke said, brushing back Lexa's hair. "We'll worry about that later, okay? Right now we have to get you cleaned up."
"Surely blood must not have blood wouldn't apply if someone tried to assassinate me, right?" Lexa asked, and Clarke could hear a bit of panic in Lexa's voice.
"If you're asking my permission to kill him, my answer is yes," Clarke replied stiffly. This was why they called her the Commander of Death. "When you've healed."
Lexa nodded and closed her eyes for a brief moment, clenching her jaw. But not once did she complain about pain. The healer said something in Trigedasleng, and Lexa just nodded grimly. Lexa's hand moved around beside her, and Clarke instantly grasped it between both of her own.
"It's going to be okay, I'm here-"
"Get him out of here!" Lexa roared furiously, despite being seriously wounded and bleeding out on the floor. Her voice contained so much force that Clarke was actually taken aback. No one hesitated to escort Pike down to the dungeon.
"I appreciate that you're a strong leader and you can't look vulnerable ever, but you're going to have to calm down and be a little vulnerable right now, okay?" Clarke said, squeezing Lexa's hand tightly. "You'll just exhaust yourself if you try to be the Commander right now."
Lexa nodded, grimacing as the healer opened Lexa's jacket and shirt to reveal where the bullet had pierced the skin. Clarke tried to keep a neutral expression as the healer dug his bare hands into the bullet wound, fishing around until his fingers grasped the bullet. Lexa's grip on Clarke's hand tightened, and while Clarke couldn't feel her hand at all, her heart felt a little fuzzy.
Letting the bullet clatter to the floor beside him, the healer then applied some kind of salve to the wound, then stitched it up. He gave Lexa some instructions in Trigedasleng, at one point nodding to Clarke, at which point, Lexa actually smiled fondly, and Clarke wished she knew more of the language.
"Let's get you to bed, you need to rest," Clarke said when the healer dismissed himself.
"That's what he said too," Lexa said, letting Clarke help her to her feet. "Unfortunately, I do not have time to rest. I need to be at the-"
"You're staying in bed, even if I have to hold you down until you're better," Clarke insisted, swooping Lexa's legs out from under her and carrying her up the stairs to her floor. When she'd first landed on the ground, she'd barely been able to carry a load of firewood for a long distance, but months of gruelling labour had toned her muscles. However, despite her recent strength, carrying Lexa that far was still a struggle. She'd never admit it though.
"I think I'd like that," Lexa said as Clarke led her over to her bed. "Spending all day in bed with you."
"Your wish is my command," Clarke replied, snuggling in beside her. "But for now, go to sleep. It's going to take a lot of energy to heal that. I'll be here when you wake up."