A/N: Thanks a bunch for all the reviews. i was kind of hesitant on how you guys would feel about Brian, but im glad to know that you guys are welcoming him. the rest of the gang have never seen or talked to Brian before, so it'll definitely be interesting. i have to admit, this chapter is probably the best one i've written so far, and one of the things that i always like hearing from you guys is how reallistic these characters seem. that's what i've always been trying to go for, and im glad i'm doing a good job at it so far.
Things DEFINITELY get ALOT more interesting in Tree Hill where Lucas and Brooke are concerned. there's also a reunion between two people. not telling you, you're going to have to read on and figure it out lol. there's also alot of funny conversations between the characters, and it really reinstates how close they all are with each other. ENJOY AND REVIEW!!!
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Chapter 18: This Is Sorry For the Last Time.
He sat there. And sat there. AND sat there. But nothing was coming up on his laptop except for the cursor blinking back at him, mocking him in a certain sense. This had never been a problem before, and now he was tempted to physically smash his head through a window, anything to get back his way with words.
Nathan was right, he NEEDED to talk to his mom. Karen had always been a humungous part of his life, and if he ever expected to get his life back to the way it was, he needed to talk to her, to build their relationship again. And if he ever expected to get back with Brooke, then he needed his mother's help. She was always the one with advice. Although so was Lucas, and look where he was now.
But apparently he didn't have a single problem with words when it came to Brooke. He was able to say things and mean them, and sometimes completely sweep her off her feet. But now all he did was piss her off, signaling the end of their short rekindled friendship. What force in himself had told him to say that, and it be alright? Whatever it was, needed to be pounded to the ground and shut the hell up.
It was like the very essence of the house itself sparked up emptiness, taking it's soul within it's grounds. Sometimes Lucas wondered if his father's presence was around him, hounding him, taunting him with all the bad things he had done. It sounded stupid really, but he felt like just being in the same vicinity as the person he was before had been, that he wasn't getting any different, or any better. It was confusing, weird, and scary at one point.
"What are you doing this time?" Peyton asked, coming into Lucas' office, sitting down in one of the chairs.
Lucas rolled his eyes, "Honestly Peyt, I don't think it's any of your business."
She raised her eyebrows, "Oh really? Because I have some very interesting information for you Mr. Scott. And it concerns Brooke, so unless you want to hear it, you'll tell me what the hell you're doing on your computer. I haven't seen you so concentrated since high school, when you were in your little author stage."
Lucas glared at her. Gosh, for someone that was supposed to be his wife, Peyton was a total bitch sometimes. But he appreciated her attitude of telling it like it was, even though how it was isn't exactly what he wanted to hear. "Okay fine, if you must know I'm trying to write an e-mail to my mom."
Peyton sat up, "You're talking to Karen now?" Well, this was news to her. The last time she remembered Lucas even talking to his mother was way before she left for Italy all those years ago. It was definitely a shocker to her knowing that Lucas was trying to get back in touch with her. But it made her happy, if someone could knock some sense into Lucas, it was definitely Karen.
"Not exactly, I have no fucking idea what to write. Like there's so much I want to say, but I just can't, say them," Lucas said, running a hand over his face.
"Well you can't expect yourself to already know what to say. It's been a long time since you've talked to her, it's going to take time for you. Just start with things that you defnitely want to say, and just work on from there," Peyton stood up.
"What? You're just going to give me useless advice and walk out?" Lucas called.
Peyton turned around, "This is all on you Lucas. You're the one talking to your mother after all these years. I know if my mothers were still alive, I wouldn't spend 5 years ignoring them."
She was in fact, right. It wasn't fair that Lucas spent years not speaking to his mom, when Peyton would've gave anything and everything to be able to talk to her moms. But there was a big different between Lucas and Peyton in that department. Actually, Lucas' situation with his mom was different than just about everybody's relationship with their moms in Tree Hill. Nathan and his mom didn't really have any sort of relationship. Haley's mom was always away on cruises and road trips around the world with her dad. And Brooke's mom, well, he had never even met her mom, so that was pretty self-explanatory.
And then he realized something. He sprang out of his chair and made his way down the stairs, his footsteps making a ruckus against the wood. Peyton was sitting on the couch in the living room, sketching something in her sketchpad and watching television at the same time. She wore a smirk on her face, and Lucas knew she was thinking he was an idiot.
"It's about time you realized," Peyton said, still staring at her sketchpad. Lucas' late realizations were so common, it was like clockwork by now.
"Well, I was lost in my own thoughts. Brooding, if you will," Lucas explained. "So what's this thing that concerns Brooke?"
She set down her sketchpad and turned the volume down on the television. "Okay, now before I tell you, promise me you're not going to pop your top and go crazy. Alright?"
Lucas slumped down on a seperate couch, "Now that REALLY makes me feel better Peyton. Now I'm almost entitled to go crazy."
Peyton sighed and leaned back, "Well, at least I tried. Word around town is that Brooke's beau is coming to town any day now."
He stared at his wife, wondering if she was serious, or if she was just joking. You never knew with Peyton. And he was also wondering if she was enjoying this for that matter.
"So what you're telling me is that Brooke's boyfriend is coming into town?" Lucas asked slowly.
Peyton nodded, "At least that's what I hear. I was actually over at the super market and I heard these two ladies walking around talking about her boyfriend. He's quite the hunk, or so I've heard."
He leaned back also, "Well, this is going to be an issue. How the fuck am I going to figure out how to apologize to her when her boyfriend's probably going to be attached to her hip the whole time he's here." This was definitely going to be a hard task to follow through with. He wasn't even mad that Brooke's boyfriend was coming, it was the fact that she might not even care if he apologized or not. Knowing Brooke, she tended to always brush anything off that was meaningful.
"Of course he would be attached to her hip. They're kind of together," Peyton said obviously, returning back to her sketchpad.
"I know, but I NEED to apoloize, and I can't go it if this Brian guy is around her 24/7," Lucas explained.
Peyton looked at him, "How did you know his name was Brian?"
Lucas looked down at his hands, "I might've, done some research a couple of weeks ago."
She snorted, "That doesn't really surprise me. So, what's this Brian guy like?"
Lucas glared at her, "If you really want to know, his name's Brian Grant. Basically, he's nothing more than an heir to a milllion dollar corporation. He inherited his company from his grandfather, and that's about it. And he's never really had any work to show for it. I checked all his recent accomplishments, and they're nothing special."
She smirked at him, "That's all very nice Lucas, but I was asking you what's he like. Personally I don't give a shit if he makes his own money or not."
Lucas groaned inwardly, "In other words, he's a pretty nice guy. Donated tons of money to hospitals and different organizations. And if Brooke's dating him, he's got to be something great."
"You think he's good enough for her?" Peyton asked seriously.
Lucas shrugged, "I don't know. I wish he wasn't, but I can't really say anything since I was never good enough for her."
"Lucas there's a big difference between you then and you now. For once, I'm not in the way anymore, believe me. Me and you had our shot, and it didn't work. So technically there's nothing in your guys' way anymore.
"Besides Brian," Lucas answered shortly, walking over to the kitchen and pouring a glass of scotch.
"True, but when has Brooke ever dated a guy just because she liked them? And if you ask me, she's been dating this guy so she could get over you, plus if I heard correctly he's just about everything you're not," Peyton explained.
Lucas sat back down, "Well, if that was the case, then me and Brooke would've never dated."
"Actually, if you were some boring asshole like Nathan was, you and Brooke would've never dated," Peyton corrected, picking up her sketchpad and walking back upstairs.
Lucas continued to sit there, wondering what the hell has possessed him to marry this woman that was Peyton Sawyer. Just about 99.9 of the time she pissed the shit out of him, and he just wanted to lock her up in a pink room and have Disney music blaring from the speakers. That would really put her into misery. But then there were the other times he was glad he had someone like her to tell him when he was a fuck up, because he probably would not have known otherwise. Peyton didn't exactly have the best way of telling him, but eventually she got her point across.
-
"Seriously? You're still not talking to him?" Nathan exclaimed as he sat down at the dining table with a bowl of cereal filled to the brim in front of him. Brooke was at the bar, cutting up bananas and strawberries, a big white blender right in front of her.
Brooke shrugged, "Of course not. He did a really shitty thing the other day Nate." So far keeping away from Lucas had been far easier than she had thought. Of course she only went out during the early day, whenever Lucas was probably at work or tied up in something. It wasn't that she was trying to do it on purpose, it was just better if she didn't see or talk to him, because Brooke thought that she would say something that she would seriously regret. Plus, Brian was coming into town, and it wouldn't really look good if people saw Brooke and Lucas around town talking or something and then have her boyfriend come into town a couple of days later.
"Duh he did a shitty thing. He's Lucas," Nathan said bluntly. "But the fact of the matter is, he's sorry, and that's got to count for something. You should know a thing or two about apologies."
Brooke rolled her eyes, "Of course I know a thing or two. But, it just doesn't fly with me Nate, and no one seems to understand that. It's not respectful to me and it's not appropriate." She dumped the ice, strawberries, and bananas into the blender and turned it on. The shrill noise it made was enough for Nathan to walk out of the room with his cereal, but he had to talk to Brooke.
"I know it wasn't something he should've said, but he's sorry, and you have to take that into consideration. At the end of the day, Lucas is Lucas, and he's going to say things he doesn't mean and do things that he probably doesn't understand. I know my brother, and he didn't say that to you with the intention for you to get pissed at him," Nathan explained.
Brooke continued to let the blender run, completely ignoring what Nathan had been saying. But from the mumbles and bits and pieces she had heard and saw, it was nothing short of the usual excuses that people had made for Lucas in the past. She had heard it all before, and frankly she didn't care if Lucas was sorry.
After a few more seconds, she stopped the blender. "Nathan I know what you're saying, hell, I've heard it all before. But I DON'T CARE at the moment if he's sorry or not. I just, can't deal with him and his issues. Brian's coming into town any day now, and I can't let myself be distracted with Lucas' feelings and Lucas' needs."
Nathan sipped his bowl of cereal, the slurping noise it made making Brooke wanted to gag. "Okay, so you might not care now, but what if you have time to cool off, and you're just in a chill, calm mood. Could you find it in your heart to forgive Lucas."
Brooke scoffed, "No way am I letting Lucas Scott anywhere near my heart again. I'll find it somewhere in myself to forgive him, but never my heart."
"Because you'll always end up forgiving him no matter what he does?" Nathan asked, putting his bowl in the sink. Brooke continued to pour the smoothie into three glasses, failing to acknowledge Nathan's question. The truth was, Nathan was probably right. No matter what happened, Brooke would always find herself forgiving Lucas over and over again, and that was not a good thing.
Haley sauntered into the kitchen, one hand over his mouth and another on her stomach. She stopped abruptly at the sight of Nathan and Brooke. "Well, I can only guess what you guys are talking about." She sat down at the table, staring at her husband and best friend.
"We were just talking," Nathan shrugged, putting his washed cereal bowl into the dish washer to dry. Brooke continued to stare down at her smoothie glass, refusing to look at Haley, because then she would have ALOT of explaining to do, and Brooke wasn't in the mood for explaining herself today.
"I bet," Haley mumbled, her atttention solely focused on Brooke. Brooke looked up at Haley and cocked her eyebrow.
"What? We were just talking," Brooke repeated, grabbing her smoothie glass and walking out of the kitchen.
Haley looked at Nathan. "Hey, I didn't say anything," he said, holding his hands up in defense.
"Well it had to be SOMETHING if it shut Brooke Davis up," Haley said, rubbing her stomach.
Nathan leaned his hands against the counter, "We were just talking about her and Lucas. I made a comment about her always forgiving Lucas, no matter what. And I guess she got mad. But you can't get mad, because you know it's true."
"Nathan of course I know it's true. Lucas could've killed somebody and Brooke would ask him if HE was alright. Only problem is, she refuses to admit that."
Nathan nodded, taking a sip from his smoothie. "So when's this Brian guy supposed to be coming into town?"
Haley shrugged, "I don't know really. Brooke said something about within the next couple of days or so. Which reminds me, remember to change the sheets in Brooke's room and in the other guestroom."
"But, isn't Brian sleeping in Brooke's room?" Nathan asked.
"Well, eventually. But for now we'll set him up in the extra room. Most likely Brooke will make him sneak into her room, hence the reason I want you to change her sheets too," Haley said simply.
Nathan scrunched his nose, "Oh my gosh, that's so nasty. If they're going to be doing THAT, then let's just set them up in a motel or something."
"NATHAN!" Haley exclaimed, grabbing an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table and throwing it at him, hitting him in the arm.
"OW!" Nathan yelled rubbing his arm. "Come on Hales, like you weren't thinking the same thing. Although it doesn't really surprise me. Brooke's been here what? Three weeks? Brian's coming into town just in time."
Haley shook her head, "Alright, maybe. But get going on those sheets. Any day now, remember."
Nathan ran a hand over his face, heading upstairs, "This is so disturbing."
Haley rolled her eyes, "Personally I don't see why you're making a big deal out of this. After all, you DID sleep with her."
"Hales, I thought I asked you not to talk about that again," Nathan groaned, his voice fading as he walked farther up the stairs.
Brooke rolled her eyes as she sat on her bed with her laptop in front of her. In fact, she had forgot that little fact until Haley had mentioned it. Nathan walked in and leaned against her doorway.
"So, I hear you're here to change my sheets," Brooke said, not even looking up from the screen.
"Yes, I'm here to do bitch work," Nathan said, opening the closet in the hall way, taking out new sheets. Brooke hopped off her bed and set her laptop on top of her dresser.
"Just so you know, Brian WILL be staying in his OWN guest room," Brooke stated, hopping onto the dresser also.
Nathan shrugged, "Whatever you want to do Brooke. I mean, I don't really expect you to follow the rules, that's never been you."
Brooke shrugged, "Maybe not, but people change. Anyways, thanks again for letting Brian stay here."
"It's no problem. If you and Brian have any future together, then he should stay with us," Nathan explained, tugging the old sheets out onto the floor.
"That's the thing though, coming back here kind of makes me question my relationship with Brian," Brooke said, finally voicing what had been in her mind for the past week.
Nathan froze and looked up at her, "So, what does this mean exactly?"
Brooke shook her head, "Not what you think, it has nothing to do with Lucas or anything like that. I was thinking, I really miss this place, despite it's crappiness. Actually, I was thinking of probably opening up a C/B store around here or something. Plus, if I'm going to be a godmother, I need to be around more."
"That would be great, but how would that compromise your relationship with Brian?" Nathan asked, unfolding the new sheets.
"Well Brian's life is up in New York, I mean he has so much responsibility, he can't just come down here whenever he wants to. And I really don't think long distance shit ever works out," Brooke explained. Nathan nodded along with what she was saying, glad that she wanted to stay, because let's face it, it's never boring with Brooke Davis on the prowl. But he didn't want her to get hurt and completely regret coming back, most of it at the fault of his dumbass of a brother.
"That makes sense, but if you really love him, I think you guys should give it a chance," Nathan said. Personally he didn't want Brian and Brooke to work out, but if it took her staying with him to realize that she wanted to be with Lucas and still loved him, then he might as well push Brooke to Brian.
"That's true, but I don't want to be down here and him up there, there's too much distance. But if we're really meant to be, it'll happen," Brooke said, more to herself than to Nathan.
Nathan folded the sheets neatly at the head of the bed, trying not to seem too into what she was saying. But in reality, he wanted to know more. If Brooke really wanted to be with Brian, she wouldn't let him go so soon. Nathan laughed in his head, because he was willing to bet anything that Lucas DID have something to do with it.
-
It was only the weekend, and Peyton had already been at the supermarket three times this week. She didn't know exactly why, but it seemed she always needed more shit. She would run out of chips, bread, booze. And it didn't really help that Lucas wasn't at the office that often anymore, so it was inevitable that he was going to eat the whole refrigerator.
She wandered down all the aisles, grabbing random stuff that looked good, or stuff that she thought she might possibly need for some sort of occasion. Lately Peyton had been somewhat of domestic, which was a long shot of how it usually was. Lucas had called off all the maids and cooks that they usually had, which left Peyton to do all the work. But it did help Lucas' image to a certain extent.
Lucas didn't know that she had already talked to their lawyer about drawing up the divorce papers. She thought that the sooner they got this settled, the better, and the sooner Brooke would get out of her hard head that Lucas and Peyton had anything other more than annoyance for one another. It wasn't that she intentionally didn't tell him, she just needed some time herself to accept the fact that her and Lucas were getting a divorce. To some extent, it was a sad thing. They had been each other's punching bags for so long, you HAD to miss that.
But it was a relief that they were freed from each other, for lack of a better word. Peyton could move on with her life, and Lucas could win Brooke back without any other things in the way. And quite frankly, Peyton was tired of being seen as a form of a 'Desperate Housewife.' It was getting old.
She steered her cart into the Deli section. Scanning the different kinds of meat, Peyton felt someone stand right next to her. At first, she didn't really pay much attention, but then she got an eery feeling, like she knew whoever was next to her. He was holding a honey ham or a smoked ham, trying to decide which one he should get. She used her peripheral vision and almost fainted as she realized who it was. Peyton started panicking. What was she supposed to say? It had been so long, there was so much she wanted to say. But, in true Peyton fashion, she said probaby the most stupidest and weirdest thing you could possibly say to someone you haven't seen in five and a half years.
"I'd go with the honey ham," she said, refusing to look at him, but saying it loud enough so he could hear her. He lifted his head up to look at her, but she refused to look away from the different varieties of meat in front of her.
Jake glanced at her before returning back to the two hams in his hands, "How you doing, Peyton?" She was kind of shocked, his greeting could have been more personal. But she knew they were different people know, and didn't know each other anymore.
Peyton nodded her head, smiling a little, "I'm doing good, just restocking the kitchen. How are you doing?"
Jake shrugged, "I'm picking a ham."
She chuckled nervously, "Yeah, I can see that. So, when did you move back here?"
"I've been here for about four months actually. I got a job working at a law firm in town, so it's going well."
Peyton looked at him disbelievingly, "I can't believe you've been here for four months already. This is the first time I've seen you."
Jake chuckled, "Yeah, well I've been busy with work and Jenny. But I did see your husband a couple of days ago and at the beach house."
Peyton stared at him confused, "Lucas didn't tell me about seeing you at the beach house."
Jake shrugged, "Probably slipped his mind. That guy's got a lot on his mind at the moment."
She nodded, "Yeah, I know it. So, how's Jenny? She's got to be, what? Eight now?"
"Yeah, I enrolled her into the elementary school, and she loves it. So, things are going good."
"That's really good Jake, I'm happy for you," Peyton said sincerely. Jake stared at her with sad eyes, and Peyton knew he was thinking the same thing. What if? Things could have EASILY ended up different between Peyton and Jake, and if it wasn't for him leaving in the first place, Peyton knew that she would probably be married to him and not Lucas. But those things you would just never know, but it didn't help her heart any less.
"Thanks, I hope things are going good too for you. And Lucas," he added, catching a somewhat bitter tone in his voice.
Peyton snorted, "Believe me, there's nothing good for me and Lucas. We're getting a divorce." If any other person were to tell someone they were getting a divorce, their tone would have been a lot more remorseful and awkward, but for Peyton it was like the more she said it, the better she felt.
Jake raised his eyebrows, "Oh, well, I'm sorry about that. Lucas didn't tell me that you guys were getting a divorce."
"Yeah, well there's a lot of things that Lucas doesn't know at the moment. His mind's probably on Brooke," Peyton stated.
Jake shook his head in amusement, "Well that just explains everything. Lucas is still in love with Brooke. That's got to be hard for you though."
Peyton chuckled, "Oh Jake, you obviously haven't been here long enough. Me and Lucas are nothing, never was, never will be. Our whole marriage is practically a joke that this town laughs at. So believe me, it's not as much of a big deal."
"Wow," Jake mused. "I guess there's a lot I've been missing since I left."
Peyton looked at him, "Yeah, you have missed a lot." Apart of her just wanted to tell him how much she had missed him when he left, and how miserable she was. Peyton knew that Jake was still somewhat hurt over her little fling with Lucas after he left. She didn't really blame him, but things were just a lot more different now, and A LOT more complicated than it ever was.
Jake cleared his throat, "Okay, well, I think I'm going to follow your drift and go with the honey ham," he said, setting the smoked ham back in it's section.
"Jake," Peyton said sadly, not wanting him to walk away. Again.
"I'll see you around Peyton," Jake said, flashing her a sad smile before disappearing into another aisle. She sighed, deciding that the meat could wait, and what she really needed was some alcohol. That always seemed to be the thing she and Lucas needed most these days.
Meanwhile, Brooke also happened to be in the restaurant checking out the different ice cream selection. Aside from the fact that she was really craving some Pistachio ice cream, she just wanted to get out of the wandering eye and knowing look of Nathan and Haley, or Naley, as she liked to call them. They're little looks and glances did nothing to help her, so she decided that she had to get the hell out of there. Brooke knew what they were thinking, and they knew what she was thinking, but it was a lot better not to say anything in avoidance of a fight.
She turned her head just in time to catch a glimpse of a handsome man a couple of freezers down from her, grabbing a Cotton Candy Bubblegum flavored ice cream carton. She lowered her eye brows, convinced that this had to be for his daughter. He revealed his face and Brooke's jaw dropped.
"JAGIELSKI!" Brooke exclaimed, almost dropping her own ice cream. Several people in the aisle turned their head and wondered what this woman was yelling about, since Jake was only less than ten feet away.
He turned his head and laughed at the sight of her, "Davis, you always were the loud one. Come here." She ran over to him as he engulfed her into a hug. It had been a long time since she had seen Jake, and they didn't even really have a proper good-bye. Well, actually they didn't even have a good bye. One day Jake was there, and the next, he wasn't.
"Oh my gosh, it's been forever," she said, pulling away from him. He looked the same, and if it was possible, even more good looking.
"I know I know, but you haven't changed one bit. You're still as beautiful as the last time I saw you," he complimented.
Brooke smirked and patted his arm, "Ohh Jake, I just knew I should've went after you."
He smiled, "You did remember?" He referred to the party that Dan had arranged for all the basketball players and their parents, along with the cheerleaders. Lucas was trying to get to Peyton the whole time, which caused him to completely ignore Brooke. She was drunk and jealous, and Jake just happened to be right in front of her.
She nodded, "Yeah, I remember. Too bad you already had a lady in your life. How's Jenny, by the way?"
"She's doing great. And for some gawd awful reason, she's been asking me to enroll her into the local cheerleading squad at the youth center," Jake said, rolling his eyes.
Brooke slapped excitedly, "Yay! Oh my gosh Jake, you have to let her!"
"We'll see," Jake said, even though he knew he would end up giving in anyway.
"Good, who knows, this town might have another Brooke Davis on their hands," Brooke said proudly, but then added, "but without the alcohol and sex."
Jake laughed, "Good thing you added that one part in. I don't think this town was ever ready for you."
She shrugged, "Probably not. So, are you just here to get some groceries?"
"Yeah, actually I just ran into Peyton before I ran into you," he stated.
Brooke grimaced, "Well, I'm guessing that didn't go so smoothly." It had been awhile since Brooke and Peyton had been friends, but Brooke knew that Peyton hadn't talked to Jake at all since the night he left to escape from Nikki. Peyton didn't take it well, and Brooke was certain Jake didn't take Peyton and Lucas shacking up too well either.
He shrugged, "It is what it is, I guess. Me and Peyton were a lifetime ago."
Brooke nodded, "I know what you mean. The people we used to be were a lifetime ago too."
Jake nodded, looking at his watch. "Eh, I got to start heading home. Jenny's carpool should be on their way there and I don't want her standing out there alone."
"Alright, well it was nice seeing you. We should all get together sometime," Brooke suggested.
"That sounds great. I'll see you around," he said, giving her a quick hug before jogging towards the check out counter.
Brooke chuckled, "He is such a dad."
-
After about five different drafts, two glasses of scotch, and six temper tantrums later, Lucas had finally sent the e-mail to Karen. Tons of 'I'm sorrys,' a lot of 'I wishes' added into the mix that was four paragraphs. It was by far one of the nerve wrecking things that happened to him, but he was defintely glad to get off his chest years of stuff that he's been wanting to say, but never did.
Now that that was taken care of, he still needed to apologize to Brooke. Now that was something that never came easy, apologizing to Brooke Davis. It was kind gambling, it could go either way, but it ultimately depended on how bad you screwed up, and how her day was going. Not exactly the most fair circumstances, but that was the way it was, and Brooke didn't change for anybody.
Peyton was out at the store and the maids were called off, which meant that Lucas was at home, by himself. Not exactly the best place for a jittery man to be at the moment. Apart of him wanted to go over to Nathan and Haley's right now and talk to Brooke, but the other part of him just wanted to say 'screw it' and just never talk to her again. But he couldn't do that, and he wouldn't do that. Lucas considered maybe writing her an e-mail also, but then he realized he could never say what he wanted to say in an e-mail, to Brooke of all people. Plus, if any ounce of her was the same, she would probably end up reading it a month from now.
It only took him three seconds to decided what he was going to do. Or more like, his body decided to do, because before he knew it, he was already in his car with the engine running. Sometimes it scared him what his body enabled him to do. Probably due to the fact that he wasn't really paying attention.
The whole way there, Lucas kept on thinking about what he should say, and then try to rehearse it. He always was bad at thinking on the spot. A proper 'I'm sorry' would be nice, but he knew there was more to it then that, and Brooke knew there was more to it then that. There was definitely no fooling her. It occurred to him that Nathan and Haley were probably home, and maybe they didn't want to be in the middle of what was likely Brooke yelling and shouting out justifications and profanity, but it made for some interesting news in the Scott house.
Maybe he expected the drive to be a whole hour or something, or maybe the time just went by way too fast for Lucas' liking, but before he knew it, their house came into view. He gulped before he ever pulled into the driveway, the nerves already working it's way up to his spine and down to his toes. The familiar feeling creeped back on him, a feeling that he hadn't experienced since the last time he apologized with his tail between his legs. It wasn't a good feeling.
He turned off the ignition and got out of his car. Now he was feeling guilt more than anything. The nerves subsided, or probably remained numb in the back of his senses. Walking straight to the front door, Lucas wondered if she was going to slam the door in his face, thus he crossed his fingers, hoping that Nathan or Haley opened the door as he pressed the doorbell.
Nathan swung the door open, surprised but then quite smug at the sight of him. "So, it's about time you showed up. I was wondering if I would have to force you to."
Lucas shrugged, stepping into the hous, "Yeah well, it's not exactly fun apologizing to Brooke."
"Yeah, I know what you mean, but it looks like you lucked out, man. Brooke's not here," Nathan stated.
"She's not?" Lucas asked.
He shook his head, "I would've thought you knew that, seeing as her car isn't here."
"Oh, I didn't really think about that," he said honestly.
"It's kind of hard to miss a BMW convertible, especially around here," Nathan said.
"I wasn't even paying attention. But, you don't mind if I wait for her, do you?" Lucas asked.
Nathan raised his eyebrows, "Sure, if you want to."
Lucas nodded as Nathan led him to the living room, where a game was going on ESPN. Nathan slumped down, immediately immersed back into the game while Lucas sat awkwardly next to Nathan, the nerves starting to catch back up to him. Haley dawdled down the stairs.
"Oh hey Lucas," Haley said, walking into the living room.
Lucas smiled, "Hey Hales. How's that baby doing?"
Haley chuckled, "Well, he's there, that's for sure. You here to see Brooke?"
"Yeah, but I told him he's not here, so he's going to be the brave one and wait for her," Nathan interrupted, his eyes never leaving the television screen.
Haley rolled her eyes, "Come on Nathan, it's not like she's going to chop his head off or anything."
"Maybe not literally, but figuratively, she will," Nathan answered bluntly.
"Thanks for the help," Lucas said, grinning sarcastically. This was definitely not helping him. And then they heard a car pull into the drive way, the engine killed moments later. Just in freaking time, Lucas thought.
Haley grabbed Nathan's arm and dragged him upstairs, but not before patting Lucas on the shoulder, "It's okay, she'll get over it. She always does."
"Yeah, tell that to Peyton," Nathan added before Haley shoved him farther up the stairs. It was definitely times like these that he wondered who's side Nathan was on.
Lucas sighed before running a hand over his face for probably about the twentieth time that day. How the hell was he going to explain this one? The front door opened and shut, Brooke's footsteps being heard throughout the house. He stood up as she kicked her shoes into the closer next to the front door, still oblivious to the fact that he was there. After shutting the closet door, she lifted her head up, almost dropping her bags at the sight of Lucas.
"Lucas! Gawd, give me a heart attack why don't you?" she exclaimed, holding a hand to her chest.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he said, standing still. She looked at him before walking closer.
"What are you doing here?" she asked innocently.
He smiled slightly, "I think you know why I'm here. I came to apologize about before."
Brooke scoffed. "Now where have I heard that before?" she asked sarcastically.
"I know, I deserve that, but Brooke come on, I'm trying here!"
She laughed bitterly, "You know Lucas that's all you do. You always try and you're always sorry. But none of your speeches or your apologies don't mean shit to me or anybody else if you can't follow through. Now I thought we were friends, but then you have to go and say something like that. In case you forgot, I'm already in a relationship!"
Lucas rolled his eyes, "Yes, of course I remember. How could you ever make me forget?"
"Well it seems like I have to keep on fucking reminding you because it's obviously not getting through to your thick skull!" Brooke exclaimed.
"I know everything you're telling me, but it's really easier said than done. I'm trying, so hard to be a better person. And I admit, I slip up, especially the other day. But, its hard," Lucas said, looking down at his hands.
"What's so hard about it?"
Lucas shrugged, "Being with you without really being with you. Like when we were talking, you were right there next to me, but at the same time, so out of reach."
Brooke sighed, "Look, Lucas..."
"No, I just have to say this," Lucas interrupted. "From the very beginning, I knew I didn't deserve you, even when you first appeared naked in my back seat. I still knew that I could never be good enough for you, because you deserved the world, whether you knew it or not at the time. And I fought so hard to be that guy for you, and for awhile I was that guy for you. But I let you go and that's something I have to live with and regret. And it's so damn hard to see you after all these years and remember why we ended in the first place. I guess it's just something that I can't get over. YOU'RE something that I can't get over."
"You had five years and a wife to help you get over me," Brooke stated simply.
He laughed bitterly, "You know that doesn't even compare. You know that me and Peyton are nothing, we never were nothing, and I hate that I even got involved with her when I had no feelings what so ever. And five years isn't long enough, and I don't think a lifetime would be enough for me to get over you."
"You can't get over me, or you WON'T get over me? Which one is it?" Brooke asked. In her mind, she knew it was empty words going through her ears, going through a figurative x-ray, spitting out false pretenses and revelations. But in her heart, that was a different story. But Brooke had always been good at concealing her feelings.
"Both," Lucas answered. "Because in case you forgot already, I LOVE YOU. Okay? And this feeling that I get whenever I think about it, or experience, that's something that I don't want to forget, or let out of me." He paused, wondering if he was just digging himself deeper. "And I know no matter how much you deny or yell, I know you have to feel something, or else we might as well have never loved at all."
Brooke shut her eyes, "You know I can't do that again Luke. I CAN'T go there."
"Why not? All you have to do is trust me..." he trailed helplessly, the tiredness of her voice breaking him.
She scoffed, "Yeah? Because that worked out SO well for me the last time, and the time before that. What makes you so different from how you were before? Because it doesn't matter if you're a malicious Dan or the loving boy that I fell in love with, because either way, you would end up hurting me, because that's what you do, Lucas. You hurt me."
"Brooke don't act like that's all I ever did. I loved you with just about everything I had inside of me. Hell, I even dressed up as a ridiculous version of Tommy Lee and went on a date with RACHEL of all people. And I moved all your stuff into my room, because I didn't want you to move to California. And I loved you, and even though I didn't show it half of the time, I did, and I still do."
"That doesn't matter Lucas, because you ALSO cheated on me with Peyton TWICE, always dropped everything to save her, AND you cursed my name everytime it was spoken for the past five years, so what the hell does that say about you?"
Lucas stared at her calmly. "It says that I'm a jackass, and that I've hurt you you a lot in the past, and that's not inexcusable. But it also shows that I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't think that something could happen, because if I didn't, I would've just given up a long time ago."
"Lucas, I really don't think you get it. I CAN'T," Brooke said desperately. "I can't go back to that, not now and not ever."
"But who fucking says that it will be like last time? And maybe you can't," Lucas quoted, "but I know you want to."
Brooke shook her head, "You don't know a thing about me anymore, and you sure as hell don't know what I want."
"Really?" Lucas challenged, taking a few steps closer. "Because from what I've heard, you want this Brian guy."
She smirked, "Yeah, that's right, he is the guy that I want. You want to know why? Because he's nothing like you, he's everything you're not."
"Yeah, I've heard that too, and that being the exact reason why you're with him in the first place. He's not me," he said, causing her smirk to drop. Either he was completely off in his accusation, and pretty much everybody else's, or he was right, and the truth had finally been figured out and voiced out loud.
"Lucas are you just here to shoot off false accusations, because if that's it then get the hell out," Brooke said.
He raised his eyebrows, "I don't think they're false, and you know they aren't. Admit it, Pretty Girl. Admit that the only reason you're with Brian is because he's not me, and that me and him have nothing in common, and that's exactly why you're with him. Admit that you're not over me. Admit that you still love me."
She couldn't remember the last time she had ever truly been put on the spot until now. And on most situations like these, she usually broke down like a ton of bricks. And standing in front of Lucas made her remember how she used to feel whenever he tried putting her in her place. The usual feeling of nervousness and anxiety broke into her veins. Even more worse, Lucas knew it. He stood there, not smiling, but with a knowing look on his face, and Brooke finally truly saw the Lucas that she had loved for so long, and still did.
He could feel it. He could feel her walls breaking down, and her anger diminishing. Lucas didn't know he could've stood his ground for this long, but before he knew it, she saw her stare at him with this vulnerable look in her eyes, a look that he had been all too familiar with. She was scared. She wanted to give in, she wanted to be with him, he just knew it. But she was still scared of what would happen, and if Lucas was going to hurt her again.
"Lucas, I--" Brooke began, but the sound of the doorbell ran throughout the house. Lucas' head snapped in the direction of the door, not wanting her to answer it. But his wishes were turned down as he saw Brooke quickly wipe the little tears that had spilled out and walk towards the door. He sighed, not wanting that moment to be over, but wanting her to finish what she was saying.
Her face read as shock as she stood planted in front of the door, "Brian." Lucas' eyes widened, knowing that someone up above was getting a kick out of this.
"Hey, babe," a deep voice said, and Lucas saw arms wrapped around Brooke's waist, enveloping her into a hug.
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're here," Brooke said quietly, still shocked to see him there.
"I know, I wanted to surprise you. Let me just get my stuff out of the taxi," Brian said, his voice fading as he headed down the driveway towards the parked taxi. Brooke watched him for a minute before closing the door, leaving a slight crack. She walked hastily towards him, and Lucas had no idea what to expect.
"Look," Brooke said seriously, pointing a finger at him. "I'm willing to forgive you for that comment you made the other day. But that's the last time I will forgive you. I don't know what you were trying to do just a minute ago, but me and you will never be again. And I swear Lucas if you ever do something like this again, you'll regret it."
At first he was quite shocked, but it didn't surprise him in the end. He continued to stare at her, wanting to smash Brian's face in for interrrupting their moment, but somewhat glad that he had came, because then it would be all the more better to prove to Brooke that he was still the guy for her.
He nodded, "Okay, I'm glad you're forgiving me. But believe me, it won't be the last time we'll have this conversation." He brushed past her slowly, letting his hand run over hers. Strands of hair ran into his face, her scent snaring his senses.
As Lucas was leaving, Brian was just entering. He wore a confused expression on his face, Lucas wearing a strongly mischevious one. "How you doing, Brian?" Lucas greeted cheerfully, not even letting Brian answer before getting into his car and driving off, but not without giving Brooke the most mused look ever, her face reading anger and a little of something else. Amusement. Brooke didn't know if it was good or not. Sure, it would definitely be interesting for the people of Tree Hill. But for Brooke, it was just another huge amount of stress. But Lucas had always been the biggest pain in her ass.