Things We Never Thought

by meSOcoolxD

BL. Sometimes what you're looking for is right where you left it.

21. Your Love Is Just A Lie

A/N;; Wow thanks for all the reviews. Also i'm sorry that i haven't updated soon. I've had this chapter done and written a long time ago, but there was a problem uploading it, so i kind of left it alone for awhile, and then went back again and see if it worked. And it did! I already have the next chapter done and i'm currently working on the next one. So i'm definitely stoked that you guys left a lot of reviews about it. I thought it was good that i left you guys on a cliffhanger. Things are definitely going to be taking a big turn in the next couple of chapters. This is probably if not the longest, one of the longest chapters i've ever written. There's a lot of stuff going on, like there always is. Expect a Brucas encounter. And you might hate me like, in the beginning of the chapter, but some things are going to happen. If you have any questions or something don't hesitate to email me or ask me in a review. It's kind of a lot to take in and understand.

I'm also working on another story called We Are Pilots. It's a Brucas fic, along with some other couples, like NH and OROwen and Rachel. It's definitely different from anything that i've ever written. So after you check out this one, you should see that one. Three chapters have already been uploaded. Check itt! Enjoy&Review!

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Chapter 21;; Your Love Is Just A Lie.

The rain pitter pattered on the window, leaving droplets to sink down back into the grass, just to go back up in the sky due to precipitation and vaporization. There were be the occasional thunder clap, or lightning would burst through the curtains, leaving little kids frightened and adults just plain annoyed that they wouldn't be getting anything done. There was no point in having the shops open, no one would be coming through those double doors, wringing out their umbrellas. Today was the seventh in a series of thunderstorms and rain that had pondered the town all week. Although the nasty thunderstorm playing a big part in the gloominess, there was the attainable news that would hit you like a ton of bricks.

Brooke Davis was engaged to marry Brian Grant. It had been a week, and the news had already reached every resident's ears by the next morning. To some people, it didn't come as a shock, but those who thought that didn't know her, hadn't talked to her. As far as they knew, Brooke Davis was a selfish bitch who only wanted to find ways that would make her even more rich and famous than she already was. But to others, the ones that knew her, it was completely and utter shock. Some disappointment, others were surprised but excited for her. It seemed like Brooke finally found somebody to settle down with, something that would hold her down in her hectic lifestyle, although his life wasn't any different or better than that of his fiance's.

Then there was the ever unrequitted love that the originals of the town that just would not let go of. The love that sparked people's interests, made them believe that there's someone out there for you, and that people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end. It was composed of lies, deceit, and heartache, but in the end, it worked, and that's why people believed that the love of Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott was a force to be reckoned with. They believed that it would never be over, it couldn't be, because if it did, what would be the hope for the rest of them? There wasn't any. But now what they were to do? Act like this was the best thing that could possibly happen? No, they couldn't, and neither could Lucas.

Ever since he had found out that day, from Peyton, the whole week had been a total and complete blur. He didn't know what had possessed him that evening when he found out the bitter truth. He had been typing on his laptop, replying to the e-mail that Karen had sent to him. Lucas' spirits were high, and he was ever determined and confident that his life would soon be on track. All he had to do was make more adjustments, and to keep on chasing Brooke. He had heard the door open and shut, leading to bold and stoic steps up the stairs. At first Lucas didn't think too much about it, thinking that Peyton was in the middle of reading something, or was drawing perhaps. It could have been any of those possibilities, but it wasn't.

Peyton had entered to see Lucas typing excitedly on his laptop, a giddy expression on his face. He remembered too. He remembered the look on her face when he raised his head from the screen. He remembered it all. She wore a sad and sympathetic look on her face, like she was silently trying to convince him that it wasn't the end of the world. But it might as well have been. The news that Peyton delivered him had completely torn his heart into two, and he didn't even feel it until afterwards, until he was bleeding out.

.FLASHBACK.

"Luke, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's best you hear it from me than the whole town," she said solemnly, playing with her hands.

Lucas smirked, "Alright Peyton, come on tell me. Who died?" She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eye, and Lucas knew that this wasn't a joke.

"Peyton, please tell me what's going on," he said seriously, closing his laptop consciously, slowly rising from his chair.

She sighed, "Lucas, I'm so sorry. Brian proposed to Brooke last night, and she said yes. They're engaged."

.END OF FLASHBACK.

The rest of the night was a complete blur, and he had a feeling he would get a migraine trying to remember what had went on that following week. All Lucas did remember was that he was not a very happy man, or a clean one at that. For starters, he had been in the same clothes all week, he hadn't shaved, and hadn't left his office, with the exception of getting alcohol. Yes, he got piss drunk during the day, and considered drinking himself until he just dropped dead, because that seemed like the best alternative at the moment. Peyton didn't even try to get him to come out or talk about it, and he was thankful for that. She knew him, and right now, she knew when not to push it.

It seemed that Haley and Nathan knew that too, because they didn't come to see him either all week. Once again, he was glad that they all knew him enough to just take the hint and leave him the fuck alone. Lucas was pretty sure the whole town was talking about the newly engaged couple, how big the rock was, and how Brian had popped the question. The whole ordeal made him want to rip his brain out and feed it to a stray dog, who would then die because his mind was that useless that it would poison the innocent animal.

There were a lot of different ways that people dealt with problems. You had those certain types of people that just came out and said what they were feeling, regardless of the situation or who they were around, they said what they felt, and dealt with it aloud. Then there were those people that refused to deal with it. They became so immersed into anything but dealing with what they were feeling that when it was actually time to feel the pain, they couldn't handle it. They were no stronger than when they didn't deal with it. And the last, and namely Lucas' category, just didn't want to deal with it period. There was no thought of when they would deal with it, that wasn't' an option. They just plainly wouldn't deal with it, they refused to, and it stayed that way, no matter what the consequences were. Lucas wasn't really like that, normally he was the one that dealt with them head on, but he couldn't in this situation.

It just wasn't fair to see Brooke with another guy, especially one that wasn't the right person for her. Lucas felt a lot of things at the moment, and just like mourning for the loss of a loved one when they die, you go through stages, and this situation was no different. In a very similar way, he had lost Brooke, and this time, like death, he didn't think he could get her back. Marriage was a huge step, something that Lucas seemed to take advantage of when he hastily married Peyton. But his Pretty Girl was getting married to Brian Grant, when in his dreams, he was the one removing the veil from her face, revealing the marvel that had taken his breath away in the first place. So he was in deep grief. Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.

Denial. Lucas didn't believe a word that was coming out of Peyton's mouth when she was first explaining. She told about Brian coming back from New York that same night, but with a ring instead, which was the reason he had flew up there anyway, to pick up Brooke's ring. There was no business meeting. It was about a couple of minutes after they had been home, and Brooke was in her pajamas when Brian got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. Lucas roughly shook his head, almost chuckling at the absurdity of it all. There was no way in hell that Brooke accepted his proposal, she just couldn't, not after she had finally admitted her feelings to him not even a solid hour before the proposal. It didn't sound right, and it sure as hell didn't feel good at all. It had took several hours later until Lucas finally knew that Peyton was telling the truth. Brooke had just broken his heart, and it didn't feel good at all.

Bargaining. After he finally realized that Brooke was no longer his for the taking, he found himself, praying. Yes, Lucas had been accustomed to it in his lifetime, especially in high school; there just didn't seem to be enough prayers to make things better, but somehow they almost never helped him, but he continued to pray whenever he needed it. And now, he tried making a bet with God, trying to play himself into thinking that if he became a complete better person, and tried to reconcile with everyone that he had hurt, then maybe God would rewind time, all the way back to the night at Tric, and Lucas wouldn't have let Brooke walk out on him like that. He wouldn't have let her leave, and maybe he wouldn't be in this situation right now. Lucas didn't want to give up without a fight, but this was a fight that he had already lost within an evening. Just when he was right there about to knock it out of the ring, he wasn't paying attention, got blind sided, and got knocked out. No bargaining wasn't going to help him see things in a better light, although Lucas didn't except it to.

For awhile he couldn't move. He remained standing there, and then slowly sank into the unhelpful comfiness that it held. Instead it felt stiff and almost like nothing at all. It was something that Lucas just could not explain. Peyton had left for him to bask in his thoughts, and by far they were not good. He was prodded, lighted on fire, and left with a never ending cloud that rained oil. Lucas was falling apart, and the sad part was he didn't feel a single thing in his chest. Every once in awhile he would catch something, but it never stuck around long enough for him to be able to figure it out. Numbness was what it felt like. He was stuck with the 'what should I do' feeling brewing around his body.

He had yet to say a word to anybody since he had last talked to Peyton. His cell phone was off, he unplugged the phone in the office. Lucas had resulted to talking to himself, telling himself and any other force or spirit that was with him in that office that it just couldn't be true. Brooke loved him, she would never hurt him like that. But maybe he was turning crazy, he had read that love made people insane, and Lucas didn't think this time was any different than those articles that he had read for fun. He was a sad mess.

A soft knock was heard as he continued to stare out of the window, watching the raindrops falling continuously. Lucas didn't even bother to turn around, but he admitted he was kind of surprised that something was there to see him, even though it had been a week. He continued to sit there resting his arm on his knee. Lucas didn't even have to guess that he looked like complete and utter shit, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything, because in his eyes, and as he saw it, nothing mattered. He rolled his eyes as he heard the door creak open.

"Lucas?" a gentle voice said from the door way, and Lucas knew it was Haley. He glanced over at her briefly before turning back around and staring out the window. There was nothing that Lucas wanted to say to his best friend. They had yet to actually sit down and have a real down to earth talk, but he had been given strict orders from Nathan to not talk to Haley about his problems, because when Lucas had problems, they usually caused the people around him to stress about them, and Haley didn't need that.

"What do you want, Haley?" he said, saying the first sentence in a week. His voice was scratchy and tired, almost cracking as he said Haley's name. He didn't see her expression, but he was pretty sure that it was something of sadness or containing pity. It didn't surprise him, and he knew Haley was just trying to be supportive, but nothing could work, and he was prepared to tell her right then and there. Nothing could rid him of this numbness but soreness at the same time. It was irreversible.

She sighed quietly, "I'm not going to ask how you're doing, because I know you're feeling like complete shit right now." But Lucas knew that she wanted to ask him how he was, and she wanted him to tell her everything, to just spill. But he couldn't. It was too heavy for her to take, and Lucas could barely get his words together as it was.

He smirked as he traced the raindrops with his index finger, "There are no words right now that could describe what I'm feeling right now."

Haley nodded, walking further into the office, taking in the dirtiness and clutter that it held for a week containing a man that was incapable of even bathing himself at the moment. "Yes, I know, and I don't want you to try to tell me, because everything that happened came as a shock to all of us. But I want you to know that I don't think Brooke did it intentionally to hurt you."

Anger. Yes, the stage that got the most people in the world that went through losses. It was the one stage that everyone would have no problem letting take over them. Anger was something that could potentially destroy a person. Being angry at the world was no way to go about life, but in this case, life wasn't as important anymore. Call him psychotic, maybe he was, but within that week, Lucas had been in denial for a day, had made bargains with God for the past two days, and had remained lethally angry for the last four. It was actually something that Lucas felt for the first time in awhile in that past week. Anger felt good, and it felt great to point it out at somebody, and who else than the one that ripped his heart up in the first place? People thought he was an angry man before, but they would have to no idea what they would potentially deal with in the later future.

Lucas chuckled, facing her, "She didn't intentionally hurt me?? Haley, are you trying to fucking kid me right now? How in the world could Brooke accept Brian's proposal when earlier that night, she had confessed her feelings to me. We were so, close that I could actually see her walls breaking down. And now what? Huh? She rips my heart out, and the thing that hurts me the most is that she knew what she was doing. Brooke, she knew what she was doing when she said yes, and knew what that was going to do to me."

It killed Haley to see her best friend in that much pain. Lucas continued to sit there at the window sill, sitting stoic like, but she could see the pain in the eyes. The eyes that had held happiness and hope for awhile, ever since Brooke's return. Haley could still not figure out for the life of her why Brooke accepted Brian's proposal, but she would never ask her that. She was still in complete shock about the whole thing, and she couldn't say she was happy for them. It was never supposed to happen like that. That was definitely not part of the plan. She held a hand on her stomach, the stomach that seemed to be getting bigger everyday. It saddened her that the baby was going to be brought into the world at the most complicated of days.

"I don't know Luke, maybe she did know what she was doing," Haley sighed, finally deciding that there was no point in trying to defend Brooke. She collapsed on the sofa chair in front of Lucas' desk. He followed her with his eyes, wondering what she was up to. "But one things's for sure, no one saw it coming. I don't even think Brooke herself did."

"Yeah, well she must have wanted to somehow if she said yes," he answered quietly. "Things weren't ever supposed to be this way Hales. Things were supposed to be different."

Haley smiled sadly, "I know. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. If anything, you and Brooke should've already been married and probably had kids already." She didn't mean to make him feel even worse, but Haley might as well have been suffering with Lucas as well. Haley loved Brooke, and she would always try to support her and understand her, but this was something that she believed would take her a lot of time to wrap her head around. Even now, a week later, Haley had yet to talk with her about it, it was just too much of a complex circumstance.

He finally stood up, walking over to his desk across from Haley. Slowly he sat down in the chair, and brought his hand down to his side drawer. Haley watched him in curiosity. It wasn't everyday that she would have to see her best friend suffering like this. It was like every move he made was met with hesitation and pain, like the way a person reacts when they just worked out for the first time, and then the next morning everything hurt. Lucas opened the drawer and began to search through his, leaving Haley to wonder what the hell he was trying to look for.

Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her heart pump in her chest when she saw the little black velvet box that he emerged from the drawer in Lucas' hand. He held it in his hands, turning it over and over, examining it. Haley could not believe what she was seeing. It made her somewhat happy knowing this, but a lot more sad to know that Brooke had the wrong ring.

Lucas sighed, smiling sadly, "I was going to pop the question to Brooke the weekend after my last game. Of course, I didn't know that it was going to be my last game, and I didn't know that we were going to get into that really bad fight. Brooke never knew, but now I really wish she did." He finally looked up at Haley, who looked almost to tears. He put the ring on the desk and slid it over for her to take and look at. She looked at it apprehensively, almost tempted to steal it and waddle off and shove it in Brooke's face, but she couldn't create more problems.

The ring was beautiful, was what Haley concluded. It was huge, no doubt about it, and she was pretty sure Brooke would've been the happiest woman ever if she ever saw it and actually wore it on her finger. The diamonds sparkled into her eyes, making it almost unbearable to hold her tears in. Haley wished so much that she could've wrote up Lucas' life, because if she could it would definitely not be like this, that was for certain. But imagining things didn't break away the fact that this was just too deep.

"It's beautiful Lucas, although I am surprised that you didn't give it to Peyton at the time," she said, smirking through the murky sadness in the room.

He chuckled, "It occurred to me a lot of times, but I wouldn't do that. No matter how hurt I was, I knew that I still loved Brooke, and there was no way in hell I would let Peyton have this ring. It wasn't meant for her, I didn't buy it with the intention of marrying her. And she knew that. It was only for Brooke. But I don't know what I should do with it now."

"Fight," Haley snapped. "Luke, you can't just let this get to you. I know it hurts, and you feel like you're about to drop dead any minute now, but just because Brooke is engaged now, that doesn't mean she can't back out. She's Brooke Davis, in her eyes she can do whatever the hell she wants. You can't drop it Lucas, you have to fight for her."

Lucas banged his fist on the table, causing Haley to jump, "You don't understand, do you Haley? BROOKE IS FUCKING ENGAGED TO MARRY HIM! She's going to go through with it, because she would have never said yes. She's a bullshit person who doesn't mean what the fuck she says. And you expect me to fight for someone like that? Brooke knew that I would be heartbroken if she said yes, and she did it anyway. And right now, I'm really reconsidering everything I've been trying to do since she's been here. I'm tired Hales, and I'm done fighting."

"Do you mean that, because Lucas, once you're done, you can't look back," Haley said, standing up. Lucas continued to sit there, breathing heavy, not knowing what the hell he would've done if it was Nathan talking to him instead of Haley. She walked around to the desk and places a kiss on his head, wishing she could take away the pain that he felt. It wasn't fair to Lucas. "I'll come back later and see you some time. You might want to clean up some too, my son can't have a dirty uncle." His lip quirked, but that was all she could get.

Closing the door to the office, frankly Haley was kind of worried to leave Lucas here by himself. Peyton was in the house too, but Lucas was lost in his own world now, and she was pretty sure not even Brooke would be able to help him. If anything, she would just make it worse. Walking down the stairs, she heard nothing but silence than the murmur of the television, where Peyton was sitting on the sofa, drawing, and brooding. Haley thought it was kind of funny that the two blondes were both being depressed.

Peyton glanced up at Haley before putting her sketchbook down and standing up, "How was he?" Truthfully Peyton hadn't went to see Lucas that much. She came in every morning, afternoon, and night, just to bring him food or to check to see if he was still alive. He would only eat maybe a bite, but that was it, and she was pretty sure that he washed it down with alcohol the whole week. Peyton didn't want to push him over the edge, so she kept her distance, knowing that if Lucas wanted to talk, he would, which called for the help of Haley.

Haley shrugged, "I don't know, and that's what scares me. I don't even think he knows how he's feeling. It's like there's so much that he wants to do and say, that it's jading him."

"What should we do?" Peyton asked. "Do you think Brooke knows about this?" She hadn't talked to much of anybody the past week. She would go to work, maybe pass by the supermarket, and then go home, and that was it. Frankly she wasn't too keen on her ex best friend at the moment, but she refused confrontation. It worked better that way.

Haley shook her head, "No, and I don't really know if she should know at that. Brooke's Brooke, and she's going to react to this in like, two different ways. One, she's going to feel absolutely terrible about it all, and wants to try to do something to redeem herself to Lucas, but honestly, hes not going to be the one to want to hear it. Then there's the fact that she will--"

"Act like she did nothing wrong and be a total bitch about it," Peyton nodded, finishing Haley's sentence. "She's going to act like it's not her problem though, I just know it."

"But that doesn't mean she won't feel bad on the inside," Haley said. "I don't know, maybe this is the end of them."

Peyton tilted her head, "Do you really believe that, because I find that very hard to believe. It's never been the end for them."

"I don't know if I truly believe that, but for now, that's what I'm going to think. Lucas is mad at her, and you should know better than anyone how he gets when he's angry, especially when it comes to Brooke," Haley explained. Peyton only too too much about his anger issues, mainly pointed at Brooke Davis. They never ended good, and they never remained mild.

"I guess we'll just have wait out the storm and see what happens huh?" Peyton asked, smiling sadly.

Haley nodded, "I'm afraid so. Well, I better get going, Nate should already be here--" HONK. She chuckled, "Yeah, there he is. I'll see you later Peyton."

"See ya," Peyton said quietly, wondering how the hell this whole situation was going to play out.

Haley wandered down the driveway, the passenger door to the car already open and Nathan in the driver's seat. He had both hands on the wheel, but his eyes were looking up at the house, at the office window mainly. His eyes were narrowed, like he was trying to only imagine what it was like in that room. Haley slid into the car seat, and Nathan tore his eyes away from the house and smiled over at her. He started up the car and pulled out quickly, and they were on their way home.

"So how was it?" he asked finally. Nathan was definitely one to want to know everything, and even though he already knew what his brother was going through, he still wanted to know.

Haley sighed, "I don't know. I mean, he's still alive, we should be thankful for that right? But he's just so hurt and angry by this that he can't even see straight."

"That's what I was afraid of," Nathan stated. "I mean, why the hell did Brooke have to say yes Hales? She knew that it would tear Lucas to shreds!" Normally Nathan wasn't the one to really judge people. He had his opinions, and that was that. But it were times like these that he wondered what the hell Brooke was thinking most of the time. Nathan loved his brother, and he was certain that Lucas loved Brooke with just about everything he had inside of him, and to see it just fall apart, it was enough for him to want to kick Brooke and Brian out of his house.

"I don't know Nate, I wish I did, because maybe then we'd all be able to understand this whole ordeal," she said. "I think we need to talk to Brooke about this."

He chucked, "What's the point? The fact of the matter is that Brooke and Brian are engaged, and there's nothing I have to say to her. She pretty much made it clear how she felt about Lucas the minute she said yes to Brian. What other information do we need to know that Brooke has been playing Lucas this whole time!"

Nathan blamed himself, and he only realized it when he was standing there with Haley, watching Brian get down on one knee, holding a little velvet box. It had been him who had talked to his brother for hours, giving him advice and encourging him to go after Brooke. Meanwhile, he was hesitant, worried that Lucas was going to screw up in some way that would cause Brooke to be heartbroken, again. But now, it seemed like he was worried about the wrong person. Maybe if he had just kept his mouth shut, and let things happen, then it wouldn't be this way. Nathan knew that Brooke was scared of the love that Lucas had to give her, but he wanted them to happen anyway. Maybe it wasn't his fault, but for now, that's what he would go on to believe.

"We don't know that, Nate. You know how those two are. Things happen and they don't know what to do. Turns out, they do the exact wrong thing," Haley explained, refreshing her memory of just about every incident like this one. "In all truth it shouldn't really surprise you."

"It doesn't, but this is just way too high school for them to be actingl like this. I mean, I can understand being put on the spot like that, your mind just kind of goes blank, but come on! This is a proposal we're talking about, you kind of have to think about it before you say anything," Nathan explained. "And I can understand what Lucas is going through. The guy's heartbroken, and people think that there's nothing more dangerous than woman scorned? I'd second guess the gender choice."

"Were you like that when I left?" Haley asked him, referring to the time junior year when she left him to go on tour with The Wreckers and Chris Keller.

Nathan sighed, "For awhile I was. There was nothing that anyone could say or do that would make things better. If anything, it made me even more angry and feel more alone and pathetic. Then, I started hating just about everything, doing things that people thought only the old me would've done. I was just this angry person, and I would hate to see Lucas like that, again."

Haley nodded, "You're right, we're older now, things like this shouldn't be repeating again. What do we do about them?" They pulled into the street of their house, noticing that Brooke's rental car was nowhere in sight like it was supposed to be, signaling that Brooke and Brian had obviously left while they were gone.

He turned off the engine, putting his his on top of hers, "I know this upsets you a lot, I understand that, but please, don't get too involved in this. It's not your problem to fix. Plus, if they're really meant to be together, they will, right?" In no way, shape, or form was this good for the baby. Maybe Nathan was being a little bit selfish, but he thought Brooke and Lucas were too.

She smiled, glad that she had Nathan as her husband, "Alright, I will if you will. But I'm allowed to be a little bit opinionated, right?"

Nathan laughed, "Yeah, and I plan to do the same. Trust me, it's not going to be easy."

She unbuckled her seatbelt, "It should for the time being, seeing as the newly engaged couple aren't here."

Nathan sighed, thankful for that. At this point, there was really nothing that he would like to say lately. All he wanted to do was just spend time with his wife, because at a time like this, it was the only thing that was going to keep them grounded. What with Brooke and Brian in his own house, and Lucas moping a couple of minutes away, they would need all the time they could get.

"That seems to be a good thing," he said, opening the front door, holding it open for Haley to enter first. It did kind of bother him though, knowing that Brooke and Brian were somewhere around town, either having a date or maybe making wedding plans. Just the thought of it made his stomach lurch.

"Well, what do we do now?" she asked, sitting down on the couch. For awhile now there had always been Brooke over the house, doing something unproductive, or Brian was there, discussing something unimportant to Nathan, who frankly didn't really care about the city. But now, they were left to just, stay there.

Nathan shrugged, "I don't know. Are you hungry or something? Wait, nevermind, why did I ask? You're always hungry." He smirked, already walking into the kitchen, Haley hot on his heels.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh whatever, like you're any better. You probably just asked me that as an excuse for you to eat, too!"

"Alright, maybe I had that on my mind too," he admitted, opening up the refrigerator, "but good thing I did though, right?"

"Maybe," Haley said, sitting down at the kitchen table. Nathan began to pull out the weirdest of ingredients for lunch: milk, butter, eggs, vegetable oil, peanut butter, and jelly. Ever since Haley hit the one month mark of being pregnant, Nathan had been accustomed to his wife's weird taste in food. It had been long enough for him to not be grossed out anymore.

"Now you see, I feel completely weird that I have this recipe embedded into my mind," he said, walking over to the pantry and pulling out a box pancake mix. "It's bad enough that you like this stuff, but it's another that I'm actually starting to get used to the taste of peanut butter and jelly spread ontop of a buttermilk pancake."

Haley's eyes brightened, "Oh and don't forget the sprinkles too!"

Nathan rolled his eyes, "Now that's a place that I'm just not going to go, so I'm just going to let you have your sprinkles."

"Good," she said as they both heard the door open and shut, footsteps being heard on the hardwood floor. Nathan and Haley both snapped their heads to the direction of the sounds, then looked at each other, realizing that their time alone together would come to a screeching halt in the form of a newly engaged couple.

The footsteps became even more apparent as the clickety clack became even more distinguished. Nathan sighed as he began to make the pancakes, cracking an egg. As far as he was concerned, he was making pancakes for his wife, Brooke not even being a concern anymore. Haley on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to talk about this. Frankly there had been no verbal contact ever since that night at Tric, and she was curious to see where the couple had been.

"Hey guys," Brooke said cheerfully, or at least, tried to sound cheery and happy as her and Brian entered the kitchen. Things had been tense since that night, but Brooke was hoping to have some sort of communication with the married couple. Nathan glanced back at them before going back to cooking while Haley smiled at both of them.

"Hey, where were you guys at?" she asked innocently as Brooke and Brian sat down at the kitchen table with her.

Brian grinned, "Originally we were just going to get out of the house and drive around, but we got to talk about it and decided that we wanted to get married here."

Nathan whipped around, "You guys want to get married here? In Tree Hill?"

Brooke nodded her heard, "Yeah, isn't it a good idea, Nate?" He looked to Haley, who shot him a warning look.

He smiled, "Yeah, I'm sure it'll be great."

"Yeah," Haley agreed. "When are you guys going to start making wedding plans? They take some time you know."

"Yeah, which is why we decided to get married a little earlier than usual," Brian answered, looking at Brooke in excitement. She smiled at him.

Haley narrowed her eyes, "Uhm, how soon are we talking about? Like, six months or something?"

Brooke shook her head, already knowing their answer would make their jaws drop, "Actually guys, we were thinking somewhere along the lines of in a month, or two..."

The sound of a spatula dropping was heard, and Nathan's eyes almost bulged out of his head. He didn't want to turn around, in fear that everyone would be looking at his expression, and it wasn't a very encouraging or excited one at that. Apart of him just wanted to laugh at the humungous irony of the whole situation; Brooke confessed her feelings to Lucas that night, then later on, accepts the proposal of Brian, and they in turn decide to get married a lot earlier than a engaged couple should even be thinking about.

"Oh, that's a little too soon don't you think?" Haley asked, trying to sound as nice as possible.

"Yeah, but we want to get married as soon as possible, and since Brooke's still going to be here when that time comes, everything will work out," Brian explained.

Nathan walked to the table, setting Haley's pancakes with peanut butter and jelly with sprinkles in front of her. "It's not going to interfere with the birth of the baby, right?" Nathan asked seriously, not wanting anything else to get in the way of the birth of his son.

Brooke shook her head, "Oh no, Nate, believe me, my godson's birth is just as important, too. Hales is due in a couple of weeks, right? That way, she'll be up and well by the time the wedding comes." Nathan continued to ponder it, wondering how this was happening at such a fast rate, a little too fast if you asked him.

"Yeah, Nate, lighten up," Haley teased, already half way down with her grotesque pancake. Nathan sighed quietly to himself.

"So what are your guys' plans for the rest of the day?" Brian asked, tryin to make conversation.

"I'm planning on heading over to the Rivercourt for a little bit, I haven't been there in awhile," Nathan stated. He really meant to throw in the word alone, but his tone said it all.

Haley nodded, "Yeah, and I was just going to plant down on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls or something."

Brooke squealed, "Oh my gosh, we have to do that. Brian, I don't think you'll be able to stand me during Gilmore Girls."

"I don't think I could ever not stand you, but whatever. Yeah, I have some work to do on the computer, some business calls, so I'll be out of your guys' way," Brian explained. Nathan quietly slipped out of the room, trying to get upstairs, changed, and leave as soon as he could. Basketball seemed to be the only thing in this town that was making sense these days.

X.X.X

Speeding down the backroads of Tree Hill was something that Peyton loved doing, ever since she was a teenager. Before she had her license, her and her mom would speed down them too, the wind in their faces, their hair whipping them, but not caring. When Peyton had gotten her car and her mom was long gone, things didn't change. She still speeded down twice as fast, hard rock blasting the speakers. She was pretty sure people she passed looked at her with strange expressions, but Peyton didn't care, she never did, and today was no exception.

It occurred to her when she decided to go to Tric and try to put together the next opening night, that maybe it wasn't a good idea leaving Lucas by himself in the house. When she thought about it, maybe she was actually leaving him an open invitation to throw things, and potentially hurt himself. But Peyton knew that Lucas would never do something like that on purpose, no matter what he was feeling at the time. Plus, thinking logically, she didn't think Lucas would even notice if she were to just get up and go. So, on her way to Tric she was.

Her stomach jumped and lurched as she made her way to the nightclub, wondering what Lucas was doing at this moment, but quicky mentally kicked herself. He was brooding, like he had been doing for the past week. Peyton couldn't blame him, she knew what it was like to be heartbroken, and feel alone, but not something like this before. What the hell was Brooke thinking?? What in the world could've possessed her to do that? But maybe that was the point, she wasn't thinking at all.

Peyton wasn't sure, because she had failed to become the most social person the past week, but she could've guessed what was going on around town. After about her third year living in Tree Hill, Peyton gave up on trying to figure out how the town knew the most scandalous things within the first couple of hours. She had been at the supermarket of all places when she had heard that Brian Grant had proposed to old best friend. Martha McClain and Shelly Cooper had been walking along the aisles with their shopping carts grabbing products here and there, discussing the size of a very important ring. Peyton had been in the hair products section, buying more shampoo, when they turned into the aisle, talking animatedly.

"I heard the ring is absolutely stunning. About three karats I think?" Shelly had said, grabbing a jar of hair gel.

MarthA shrugged, "I don't know, but what I want to know is how Scott is taking this. The last time I heard, he was still madly hung up on her."

"You think? They do have history, that's for sure. But Brooke said yes to Brian Grant, so she must definitely be over it."

She almost completely knocked over the whole shelf at the shock. There was no way that Brooke could be engaged to marry Brian. Brooke would never do that, or so that's what she thought. So she walked aimlessly throughout the store, trying to find her way to the check out counter, but her mind racing so fast she had no idea where the hell she was. Peyton had to find out for herself, and for Lucas, if this was true. She would've asked Martha or Shelly, but they hated Peyton, and she hated them, so there as no point. But the one person, or persons that would definitely be able to confirm this knowledge, or lie, was Haley and Nathan.

Haley would've have lied to her, but for a couple of minutes Peyton thought she was. She didn't know why it was so hard to believe, but even now, as everything was all done, Peyton still couldn't believe it. Whatever happened to Brooke and Lucas? She would've liked to believe that things just stopped, the love wasn't there anymore, and they weren't meant to be. But she would've been lying to herself and to this whole fucking town. They knew, they knew Brooke and Lucas belonged together, if only her hard headed friend would realize that. And so it was true, and as much as she didn't want to be, Peyton had to be the bearer of bad news.

Running a hand through her hair, she contemplated as to how the hell she was going to help Lucas cope with this. They weren't even a couple, and they didn't even like each other half the time, but since she was the only one that was around him most of the time, she kind of had to be. It wasn't that Peyton didn't want to be, but she was the wrong person to be comforting him. First off, the only person that Lucas ever really needed was the person that had hurt him. Haley and Nathan were getting ready for the baby, which was soon to be born in a couple of weeks, or more like any day now. Peyton wasn't even sure if Lucas was even talking to any of his other family, which left just herself to help him through this.

If there was one thing for certain, Peyton knew a thing or two about hurting, and as she pulled into the parking lot for Tric, she found the oldest of pains that was installed in her memory. It seemed that he just didn't get it. It hurt to have to talk to him, and remember the hurt that she had caused him herself, and the pain that he left her, that she was still recovering from. Maybe she wasn't over him, but Peyton couldn't think about that now, she had to think about Lucas.

"Uhm, we're not open," she said jokingly as she shut the cardoor and made her way to the entrance.

Jake shrugged, "Yeah I know, but I called earlier and someone told me that you were expected to come in a little bit."

Peyton shook her head, muttering "Owen" under her breath. "Okay, well not to sound rude or anything, but, what are you doing here?"

"I know I shouldn't be making this trip over here, but I wanted to see what was going on with Lucas," Jake explained, sitting at a barstool as Peyton went on the other side. "And I know it's none of my business, but I've been hearing all these things around town, and the guys don't really know anything about what's going on."

"I would've thought Nathan told you. It did kind of happen when he was right there," she chuckled.

"Yeah, well Nate's got his own problems. I asked him at the time, and he got so mad he couldn't even talk about it, so I backed off."

"And you come to me for the information?"

Jake smirked, "You are married to him, right?" Ouch. She wasn't sure if that was an intentional jab, but she would go on to believe that.

"Yes, but that will be over soon. And you have come to the right person. Although I am a little bit bothered that I found this out at the supermarket..."

Jake laughed, "A lot of things happen there, don't they?"

"Strangely," she nodded. "But yeah, Brian didn't really have an emergency meeting, he went to New York to buy Brooke an engagement ring, then flew back because he couldn't wait to give it to her. Now I'm not too sure, but something had to have happened between Brooke and Lucas that night because Haley told me that Brooke looked sad and just confused as hell. So, Brian shows up, gets down on one knee not even five minutes since he got in the door, and pops the question. Brooke says yes, Lucas is heartbroken."

"Now are you sure Brooke said yes?" Jake asked. "I mean, Brooke and Luke weren't together, but there was definitely something going on."

"That's what I said. But seems not. I don't know, either Brooke didn't mean what she said, and now is afraid to back on out Brian, or she really wants to do this."

"One thing's for sure, she's definitely confused. They love each other, and you don't just do that to someone you love."

Peyton looked at him, "Yeah you don't. But maybe Brooke was confusd as to what was going on. It's a weird situation to be in, and Brooke's really good at thinking on her feet, but even something like this would throw off her train of thought. But she still loves him, I know it."

Jake shook his head, "Man, poor Luke. How's he taking all of this?," even though he knew what the answer was.

"Honestly? He looks like shit, he barely even eats, and the only thing that he will willfully put into his mouth is a double scotch single malt. He hasn't showered, and the only time he leaves his office is to go to the bathroom. And all he does when he's in that office is just stare at just about everything, brood I guess."

Jake stood up, "Okay, well thanks for telling me. I really feel bad for the guy. He can't help how he feels."

"Well neither can Brooke, but she's having a hard time figuring that out," Peyton said bitterly.

"Would it help if he had visitors?"

"I don't think it would change. He hasn't really been talking either, except for Haley, that is."

He nodded, "Okay, thanks again, I'm gonna head out. Jenny's expecting me."

Peyton smiled, "Will you tell her I said hi? Although I'm not sure she even remembers me."

Jake chuckled, "Believe me, she still remembers you. But, I'll see you later."

She waved slightly, "Bye." Watching Jake leave the empty club, Peyton wondered when things would ever get back to the way they should've been. Like when they were in college. They were all happy, right where they wanted and needed to be in like, and they loved each other. And that was it, there was nothing that none of them ever needed except each other. And now, where were they all? Disconnected. Lucas was having a nervous breakdown, Brooke was playing fiance, Peyton was trying to live in a town with someone she wasn't over, Jake was trying to raise his daughter in a town with someone he wasn't over, and on top of that, Nathan and Haley were trying to bring a baby into this messed up place. She wasn't sure about herself, but she was pretty certain that they would have this whole town watching the little guy's back, making sure he was doing the right thing. There was no doubt about that.

But the main question was: How the hell were they going to help a little kid survive this town, when even they couldn't handle it?

X.X.X

I want to get away,
I wanna fly away,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to get away,
I wanna fly away,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Man, he didn't think he would have ever been able to breath while he was in that house. What with the two love birds taking up all the oxygen with their lovey dovey-ness, Nathan thought he was going to punch himself flat out in the face to put himself out of his misery. Even when he was getting dressed in his room, he could feel the thickness of everything he didn't like creeping up from under the door, and he knew he had to get his ass out the door as fast as he could. There was no time to just wait around for the right time to leave, because every time was right.

He didn't even say goodbye to his wife, but when he thought about it, Haley would understand, but her hormones sure as hell wouldn't. Pressing on the gas pedal even harder, Nathan zoomed through the backroads, the highlight of high school days and times when you just wanted to get the fuck out. It was times like these that Nathan wondered when things would ever turn out okay. Sure, when he was really happy, he knew things would eventually get even better. But now, he hated this town and all the sorrow and bad memories that it brought everyone.

It wasn't even the fact that Brooke and Brian were engaged that really got to him, although it caused a major factor. It was the fact that everyone was going through tough times. It wasn't always easy growing up in the town, but settling your life, your legacy, was just as harder. Every second of every day, Nathan was on edge, worrying about his own wife and if she was even feeling okay, then there was his job and his agents trying to get him back into playing basketball again, his brother on the verge of just completely getting up and walking out of this god forsaken town and never coming back, and then he was left to wonder if his mom was even alive in Seattle, where she was supposedly in a rehab center getting the best treatment.

Pulling into the Rivercourt, he almost slammed on his gas at the sight. Lucas, was sitting on the old rotten bench, staring straight ahead, almost comatose in his present position. Nathan squinted his eyes, making sure it was his older brother. Maybe he was surprised because he hadn't expected it, or maybe because he hadn't seen his brother in a week. It was funny, before, Nahtan had gone months without actually seeing his brothe face to face, and now he could calculate off the top of his head how long it had been since the two had met.

Nathan slipped out of his truck, his basketball in one hand. He walked slowly and carefully over to the bench, almost like an animal scoping out for prey. But Lucas definitely no prey. If anything, Nathan was sure Lucas would let him eat him if he was. He didn't want Lucas to just get up and walk away without talking, and what with him outside by himself. There was no telling what he was capable of doing. It was a hard thought to process, thinking about his own brother thinking about hurting himself was something that Nathan didn't like thinking about. But, when he really thought about it, when it came to Brooke Davis, he was pretty sure being broken by her was enough for any man to just jump off a cliff without a single measley thought.

There wasn't really much that he knew that he definitely wanted to say in that moment. Of course, he wanted to be there for Lucas, but what the hell was there to say? Nathan knew that when he was hurting when Haley left him, the last thing he wanted was people preaching to him about how everything would turn out okay in the end, because at the time, he surely didn't believe that. So he quietly sat down next to Lucas, and for awhile they just sat there and looked over at the court and the river, not saying a single word, but somewhat bein content with just that.

But after awhile, it was just too much for Nathan. He had to help Lucas, and just sitting there useless, didn't seem to help him. "So, the hermit finally emerges."

Silence. It wasn't that he didn't expect that. Actually, what he did expect was for Lucas to snap back at him, hit Nathan with every single hurtful insult in the book, because that's what he would've done. But Lucas wasn't Nathan, and Nathan was never quiet when he was hurt. Either he was yelling at somebody, or he was throwing things against the wall. Now Lucas, he took a different approach. He brooded, not that it was any different than normal. But it was more intense, more heartbreaking than anything else.

Nathan sighed, "Okay, I'm not going to ask you if you're alright, because we both know that you're not. And, if you're my brother, and if I know you, then you're probably thinking about just walking into that river and never coming back out, huh?" He pointed to the horizon. Nathan wasn't sure if it was clean or not, but he guessed it was just as polluted as it was years ago.

"How could you guess?" His voice was croaky, like it ached for him to talk. His eyes remained on the asphalt, not wondering that his brother was staring hardly at him, and not really caring about the next person that would come up to him as long as he was living. Everything was so mixed up and jaded that he didn't want to even bother fixing them.

Nathan shrugged, "I'm just sweet like that I guess. So, what are you doing out here anyway? I mean, it's not like you came out of that big ass house for the past week. Why now do you decide to emerge from your little hole into the world?" He stood up, bouncing the ball onto the hot asphalt, wondering if Lucas would follow him. And he did, slowly though.

"Well it's not like you don't know, and why would you expect me to be around town? Only to be the looked on with pity and sadness. No thanks, Nate."

"Oh come on Lucas, cut all the bullshit. We both know that's not the reason why you've been cooped up this week. Listen, I know you're hurt, but that's not the way to deal with something like this. I should know, I've been through it," Nathan explained.

Lucas shook his head, "You don't get it Nathan. It's not even the fact that I feel humiliated, but it's the fact that I'm hurting right now, and right now, I don't see the clearing anytime soon. But I'm okay with that, because if I really don't like what's ahead. It's ugly, and it's awkward, and that's something that I sure as hell don't want to deal with."

"I get that you're angry. Believe me, I do. But, you got to come out sometime you know. This, right now, is no fucking way to live, and I think you know that. So, you can either sit here like a little bitch and continue to feel sorry for yourself, or you can get up, move forward, and try to get past this thing."

"See that's what you don't get. There's NOTHING to get past! I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And if I want to sit here and feel sorry for myself, then I will. You're right, this is no way to live, but this is what I'm deciding to do, and that's final. But I'm kind of thankful for this, because it's let me open my eyes to things that I refused to see."

Nathan dribbled the ball before shooting it into the net, silently admiring the smoothess of it. "Really? What is this sudden revelation that you've come to?"

"That there was no point in me even trying to change for someone that didn't love me in the first place. For the past couple of days I've realized that everything Brooke ever told me throughout our relationship was a bunch of bullshit, because if it actually meant something, she wouldn't be engaged right now. So really, I should be thanking Brooke for making me see what a real conniving bitch she really is. "

He really should've been a lot more surprised and apalled by Lucas' sudden statement. But he wasn't, and he knew the feeling because he felt it when Haley had left him. Right now Lucas was just hurting, which was completely understandable. So maybe Brooke was a bitch at times, but just the thought of Lucas calling her that out loud made Nathan feel like crap.

"You're saying that now, but you really don't mean that, because if you did, then why the hell were you going after her all those times?"

"I don't know, maybe I thought that was what I needed. I'm just tired of fighting and getting hurt every single time, Nate. That's not love, I don't even know what the fuck you would call that."

"I wish I could tell you, Luke. But I would be willing to bet my family's life that Brooke loves you. There's no questions about it, man. But there's this thing called confusion, and you out of all people should know a thing or two about it. She's confused, I just know it. Give her time, and she'll come to her senses."

Lucas chuckled, "Come to her senses. She's had all of a week to come to them, and by the seriousness of this, she should've realized that a long time ago. So now, I'm not going to give her time, I don't think she deserves it at this point. I told you Nate, I'm done with all of this shit."

Nathan shook his head, "Yeah, so I don't believe that, because it will never be over when it comes to you and Brooke. You two just have this knack for not thinking about what the fuck you're doing when something happens, and it's too late for you to take it back. Lucas, if you leave everything like this, you're going to regret it."

"Why do you even care, huh? You don't have anything to do with this what so ever, so why does it matter to you if me and Brooke never speak again?"

"Because it's my fault," he stated simply.

Lucas looked up at him. What the heck was his brother talking about? How was this whole ordeal his fault? Lucas had known Nathan in the past, and his younger brother had never taken the blame for anything in his life, and even if he was his fault, he would never admit that. So this sudden place of blame not only made him confused, but angry as well.

"How the fuck is it your fault?" Lucas asked. "You didn't do shit Nathan, you never have had any infuence of me and Brooke's relatoinship."

"You don't get it Luke, I was the one that was telling Brooke to give you a chance, trying to get her to at least be your friend. I know, it's none of my business, and not really any of my concern, but I care about you guys, and I want the best thing for you regardless. The best thing was for you guys to be together, not apart. So yes, I did play a big part, you guys just didn't know it."

"But it still isn't your fault. You didn't make Brooke say yes to Brian, and you sure as hell didn't try to convince him to propose. So dont blame yourself, Nate. If anything, it's me and Brooke's fault for letting this get too out of hand when it didn't need to be," Lucas said wearily.

It didn't hit him until now that Lucas was seriously giving up. Maybe Nathan didn't want to believe it, but it was there all along. Lucas didn't have any fight in him anymore, and his younger brother was just starting to believe that. He didn't want to, but maybe this was the end. But as much as Nathan didn't want to believe that, he didn't see Lucas with the hope in his eyes anymore. Instead it was replaced with sadness, anger, and confusion.

"So this is really it? You're just going to walk away from it all?" Nathan asked, wanting an ounce of hope for himself and everybody else.

Lucas smiled sadly, "You know that's the thing; I don't think there was ever anything to walk away from."

X.X.X

They had lived in the same house for the past three years, and today was by far the quietest it had ever been. Sure, three years is hardly a long time these days, but a lot of things had happened before, and the past week was no exception. As Haley sat at the kitchen counter, trying to think of something to do to keep her mind off the excessive annoyance growing in her body, she couldn't help but think about what the hell her life was going to be like once the baby came, and when Brooke and Brian got married. How was she supposed to go support her best friend when she didn't even like the idea herself. Regardless, she had yet to actually talk to Brooke about the situation, until now.

It was hard to imagine. It had been a week since Brian had got down on one knee, in front of Haley and Nathan at that. Most would think that the two friends had discussed it shortly after, but they didn't. Granted, Haley had a hard time actually getting the whole concept of them being engaged, and the fact that Brian and Brooke were all around town together, celebrating their new engagement. Nathan had a hard time with it too, so Haley found it the best to not cross hard paths or even talk about the matter. And it didn't seem like Brooke wanted to talk about it either. Sure, they would still talk, but never about that. Mostly because she knew Haley was going to say something, and be right like she always was.

She glanced up at Brooke as she came through the revolving doors. She continued to follow her with her eyes, wanting to say something right then and there, but refusing to. It really wasn't Haley's business who Brooke married or what she did, but it was the fact that this was way too bizarre and surreal to even be happening right now. It really did sound like the simplest things to understand, but if you were in insider, like Haley was, it was a bit difficult to actually come to terms with the situation at hand.

"Okay," Brooke said, setting down her glass of water, "Let's hear it Hales, I know you've got to have something to say since you've been staring at me for the past five minutes.

Walking into the kitchen just for something to drink, Brooke didn't expect Haley to be in there. If anything, she thought her best friend was upstairs sleeping or something, like most pregnant women did. So to her surprise and shock, there was Haley in deep thought at the kitchen counter. Her heart jumped at the thought of actually having to talk about it now. The time was up, and there was nowhere else to run. Haley was pregnant, but that didn't mean that she was going to let Brooke go without a word or two.

"Brooke, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I mean, it's been a week already, there's nothing that I don't know."

"But there is something you want to say, right?" Brooke asked. "I mean, this wasn't something you saw coming, this wasn't something I saw coming..."

"Then why did you say yes? Why did you agree to marry him after you had finally told Lucas that you never stopped loving him??" There, it was said. After the past week or so, Brooke knew that everyone was trying to so hard not to say anything to her, and frankly, she was thankful for that. She had been trying to cover up what all had happened with trying to be happy all the time, but she found that when it came to the people that mattered the most, there was no hiding for her. Eventually she was going to get worked over.

She sighed, "Hales, you wouldn't understand."

"Then make me understand, Brooke! What happened? Things weren't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be you and Lucas together, not you and Brian. Gawd Brooke, were you even thinking of him at all when Brian was down on one knee??"

"Well it's not like every single aspect of my life revolves around him. And in case you forgot Haley, we were at Tric when that happened, and I had just spent the whole night drinking my ass off because Brian wasn't there. So you should know better than anyone else that I don't mean half the things I say."

"Okay, I would totally believe you right now if I didn't know you, and I do, so that's bullshit. You knew damn well what you were doing, even though you were drunk. I don't know exactly what happened that night, but I know something did. So don't sit here and say you didn't mean it, because no one is ever going to believe you." Brooke was seriously pissing Haley off right now, a pregnant lady within the last weeks of pregnancy. She didn't like that Brooke was trying to act like nothing happened, because frankly, everything she would ever say would be bullshit.

This wasn't fair, she wasn't supposed to be cornered by her best friend, who would eventually break her, despite her walking ability at the moment. Brooke knew, she knew that Brian wasn't the one for her, but there was this thing called settling. She knew that Brian would never hurt her, therefore she would never hurt him. It was a win/win situation, and she thought that she would potentially be content. Not happy, but at least alright with what her life was. Did she really want to put herself out there again? Only she didn't know until this very moment, that she was hurting Brian by having feelings for someone else. With tears threatening to fall, Brooke knew that she was giving up way too easily, but she didn't care, it hurt too much.

The waterworks were on full blast, and before Brooke knew it, she was cracking under pressure. Who knew that Tutorgirl could be so forceful? She didn't want to be lying to herself, or to everyone else for that matter, but she just couldn't go back to that cycle she had with Lucas. It was too hard, and no matter how much she said it over and over again, Brooke knew that that eventually, she would have to be in this position that she was in right now. Fighting with her heart and her head. Only problem was, what her head was telling her was half of what her heart was telling her.

"Okay," Brooke sighed, "Let's just say, yes, I know everything I said, and yes, I meant it. That doesn't change anything Haley. It doesn't change the fact that Lucas and I are completely different people now, and we lead different lives, not suitable for each other at that. So why can't I just be with someone that fits my life right now? Someone that I know would never hurt me?"

"Are we still at this again? Brooke, Lucas hurt you more times than I can even remember. But he's been regretting that everyday, and there's nothing that's stopping you. I know Brian's a great guy, and I know that he's in love with you, but he's not the one. And I think you know that, but you're scared of giving your heart to Lucas again."

"I don't think I ever got it back," she said quietly.

X.X.X

Long after Nathan had left, he was still there. Sitting on the bench, Lucas twirled Nathan's basketball between his hands, the unfamiliarity fading away with each touch and grip. Nathan had left it in hopes that it would be something to take Lucas' mind off the whole thing, but in the end, it just brought back more memories of the girl that literally took his breath away.

Night had already fallen, and he was pretty sure Peyton was freaking out wondering where the hell he was, but he made no move or thought to even go back to the house. Even though he had stayed cooped up in the office for a week straight, he couldn't escape the loudness and the chaos that he felt within his own mind. Contained in the office were books, hundred of them that told about fairytale endings, and the philosophical outlook on life that people would never be able to understand. It was loud, and confusing, and at times it made Lucas want to throw all of them out of the window, never to be seen again. They spoke in his mind like nothing else could, and he could not find silence within the empty but full office room.

But here, at the Rivercourt, Lucas found that peace and absolution that he had been trying to find. After all, this was where it all began, as he had liked to call it. Right at this very court was where Lucas' life completely changed, and he knew once he had made that shot that night, nothing would ever be the same. He didn't want to admit it at the time because he didn't want anything to change, but pretty soon everything was happening so fast he didn't even have time to process it. Even now, he still couldn't process the crazy things that happened in his life.

Now once again, Lucas was having a little trip down memory lane. Even though such miraculous and demented things had happened all around the tow, the Rivercourt served as a haven, even for people that had no specific tie to basketball at all. Happy moments and times that set the tone for ther est of their lives had happened. He walked slowly to the center of the free throw line, his grip on the ball precise and right. Lifting the ball over his head, he let it roll off his fingers, the chains shaking as it went in making the pain a little bit less, but only for a second.

But then he heard leaves crunching by the steps of high heeled shoes, and he knew it just had to be her.

It could've been the fact that her scent trailed before and behind her for miles on end, or it could've been the fact that Brooke was the only girl Lucas had ever known that he worn heels to a fucking basketball court. Or maybe it was the unsettling, foreboding feeling that he felt whenever she was around. Lucas felt her, her presense, her aura, and tonight was no different than any other, except for the fact that he really didn't want to be having a conversation with Brooke Davis, who had single handedly broken his heart with just one word.

He didn't want to turn around, and he didn't want her looking at him. It was like she had lost that right to not look at him ever again, and he had lost the right to ever want to care about her. But he knew that like everything else in his life, it doesn't turn out the way he had originally planned, and he knew that eventually, he would have to talk to her. Or more like, right now.

Grabbing the ball from under the net, he continued to dribble it on the now cold asphalt. He wasn't sure where she was, but if he had to guess, probably at the edge of stepping onto the concrete, wanting to walk to him, although not knowing if it was the safest thing to do, and she was right, it wasn't. Without even bending his knees, he held the ball over his head and shot it in again, wondering why he was making these shots with Brooke watching.

"Nice shot," a raspy voice said from behind him. He force his eyes shut, sighing, knowing that it was time. He flung his body around and faced her. He was only wearing a black t shirt and jeans, the second outfit that he had worn all week, but Lucas was willing to bet he still looked like crap despite the shower and shave her had experienced before he left.

He smirked sarcastically, "Nice ring," he said, pointing the ball to the hard rock on her left ring finger.

"Lucas, please don't be like that..." she trailed, finally walking onto the court, or more like the battle ground.

"Be like what Brooke??" he exclaimed, holding his hands out, wanting her to talk and talk until he would finally be able to understand.

"Upset!"

He shook his head, "You know, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Peyton that time you slept with Chris Keller. I'm not upset, just disappointed in thinking that you were the one. But in the end it's me that I should be disappointed in, huh? You had told me time and time again that you wanted nothing to do with me. I should've just left it alone."

"Lucas, there's a lot that you don't know, and if you would just let me explain it to you then maybe you would be able to understand."

"What is there to explain? Brian proposes, you accept, and everything that you ever told me is completely thrown out the window. Did I miss anything?"

"You missed a lot," she mumbled under her breath. "Lucas, it wasn't supposed to be this way. It's not like I expected this to be happening right now. I freaked, okay?!"

"That doesn't make it alright though. You said you would marry him, and he slid the ring on your finger, and seeing as you're still wearing it, you accepted it with full control of what the fuck you were doing. So, now that we got that all out of the way, why are you here?" he demanded, balancing the ball on his hip.

Lucas never thought he could hate and love someone so much at the exact same moment in time. There she was, in jeans, a white tank top, and a black zip up hoodie hanging from her amazing body. He thought about that night at Tric, and it made his insides swirl with desire right then, but at the same time it made his stomach lurch, and he almost wanted to throw up.

Brooke sighed, "I was came to talk to you. You've been hearing things around town, and I didn't want you hearing the wrong thing, but it seems like you haven't."

"You're right about that," he said, turning around and looking around at the court, his eyes resting behind Brooke, in front of the old bench. "You remember that night in senior year when we actually became exclusive?" Frankly he didn't know where he was going with this question, but the memory popped into his head, a memory that he would never forget.

Brooke smiled reminiscently, "Yeah, I remember. I had been to your house two times already, and then the last time I gave you all those letters that I wrote you that summer."

Lucas nodded, "I still have those letters by the way; all 82 of them. But that night, we took a walk around the whole town together, hand in hand, and we ended up here while there was already a game going on between the guys. I said that this was where I came from, that this court right here was my world..."

"And I asked you if I could be apart of this so called world," she said, smiling at the memory. Things that day had gone completely crazy. What with Karen losing the election for mayor, and Brooke running around town busying herself with working on her C/B designs and outfits, that night had been the calmest and the happiest that she had been, even now, so many years later.

"I said you were the biggest part," he stated, staring her into the eyes for the first time in a week, and to Lucas it felt like a lifetime. "And even though so much time has passed, and I've changed and done things that I wouldn't even dream of, you still are the biggest part of my world, and you knew that. I just never thought you would take advantage of that just to hurt me."

"Lucas I didn't mean to hurt you! Gawd, that night at Tric was the most truthful I've been with myself and anybody else in a long time. It was deep and intense, and I needed that moment with you. It was like I had this huge weight lifted off my chest, and I felt like things could be good again. Things could be right, they could be great, like you said."

Now it was times like these when Lucas wasn't sure how the hell he was supposed to take this conversation. Everyone used to look upon him in stupidity because he could never make up his mind on things, on girls, in life. But could they all blame him? He had to depend on words like this to know what to do, and franly they didn't help him in the least.

"Then what does that mean?" he asked quietly. "I told you that I wanted to be with you again, and that I wouldn't hurt you. But just like every other time before, you couldn't trust me."

"It's not that I didn't trust you Lucas. Hell, you could've told me to do anything at that moment, and I would do it because I trusted you to take care of me. It was the rush of what was all happening that night. I freaked out and got scared. I haven't seen or talked to you in five years Luke, and as much as my heart was telling me to let me love you, I had to think with my head."

Frustration pulsing through his veins, he swung around and chuckled the ball as hard as he could into the river. Running a forceful hand through his hair, Lucas breathed in and out, telling himself not to let his anger get to him that easily. As much as he didn't want to deal with Brooke and their problems, he knew that they had to talk about it now, because he didn't think he would ever be able to after tonight. Just the thought of knowing that him and Brooke were literally inches within being together again was enough to walk into that river and never resurfacing.

"When the fuck are you going to stop messing with my head?! I tell you I want to be with you, you reject me, and I keep pushing and pushing until I finally have you vulnerable and with me, you back out and walk away. And now that I have to hear that you're fucking engaged?! What the hell am I supposed to think now that you actually could trust me? Brooke you know damn well that this isn't fair to me, I know I've screwed up enough, but even I don't deserve this."

Brooke shook her head, "You're right, you don't deserve this. And I know it's going to sound crazy when I tell you this, but I wasn't thinking when Brian proposed. It was late that night, I was still drunk, and I was thinking about you, and then Brian shows up and before I know it he's down on one knee. I didn't know what to do at that point, so I just said yes."

"That's great Brooke. But the question is, do you want to marry him?" he asked, now standing three feet away from her. Three feet, and he was already filled with her very essence.

She snaked her hands into her pockets, looking around the court before looking at him, shaking her head, "No, I don't want to marry him. But I have to."

"Well I guess I have my answer," he said, with complete finality in his voice that Brooke couldn't take it. As he tried to walk past her, her right arm instinctively and impulsively darted out of her pocket and onto his arm, holding him in place next to her. The closeness of the whole situation was enough to give him a heart attack.

"Lucas, please don't go," she asked, her voice cracking with every word. Lucas closed his eyes and inhaled heavily. Truthfully, he didn't want to walk away from her, he didn't even want to leave the position they were in. But it's not like he could if he wanted to, the touch of her arm and her very self wouldn't let him if even if he tried.

He turned, their noses almost touching, "Then what do we do?" That was the question above all else. It didn't matter if Brooke didn't want to marry Brian, and it didn't matter if she still loved him, those were all important, but what they were actually going to do about it was the main question out of everything, and Lucas needed to know.

Brooke looked into his blue orbs, his eyes entrancing her. What do they do? Frankly, she wished she had the answer to that, but she didn't. She didn't even have the answers to if she even wanted to marry Brian, even though she didn't want to hurt him. Brooke wanted to tell Lucas the answers, because he deserved that, but she couldn't find the answers withim herself.

So she did the only thing that made sense these days. She kissed him.

Maybe he should've been more surprised, angry even. But at this moment, Lucas didn't feel anything that was bad or horrible in the world. He felt Brooke's lips on his, and that was paradise, even though he was supposed to be furious at her. His hands went on her cheeks, caressing her face. Brooke's hands grasped his arms, wanting to hold onto anything and everything that she was feeling. It was so wrong to be doing this, she was fucking engaged, but as much as she thought it in her head, she didn't make any attempt to stop, and neither did he.

He wanted to take her right then and there. It had been so long, but he wanted Brooke to be his, like she was supposed to be, and still was. Lucas wanted to stay in this moment forever, because maybe she would see that she couldn't marry Brian. Screw his happiness, and have her do something that made her happy. But the moment had to end sometime, and he had to get to the bottom of this amazing but so sudden kiss.

Pulling away reluctantly, he stared deep into her eyes, trying to find something. "Brooke I love you and I want to be with you forever. You can't marry Brian, you just, you can't," his voice croaked as he spoke, and he saw tears stream faster down her cheeks. Lucas quickly wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs, affection towards her oozing out of him.

She sighed, catching her breath, "Lucas I love you too, I don't think I ever stopped. But, Brian loves me, and I can't hurt him like that. He doesn't deserve it."

"And I deserve being hurt like this?" he asked her. When he thought about it, maybe Lucas did deserve this heartache that he felt in himself. But when it came down to it, Brooke wanted to be with him too, but for some reason, she had this huge fear of hurting Brian. It wasn't right, no matter which way you turned it. When you loved someone, you don't marry someone else. Lucas was sure in his heart that Brooke really did love him, but she wouldn't let her self just give herself to him.

"You don't," she said, shaking her head. "But I have to do this, and don't think that when I'm with him, I don't love you. He deserves so much more, I have to marry him."

Lucas shook his head disapprovingly, his hands dropping from her face, "Then do it." And with that, he took one look at her before turning around and losing his figure in the dark trees and the dark night. He heard her take a sob and call out his name silently. It didn't change the fact that he wanted to run back and take her in his arms and never let go, but that didn't change the fact that Brooke was going to marry Brian regardless if she loved him or not. Just the thought made him want to hold her captured, never to see anything but him again.

Sometimes Lucas wished that Brooke was just as selfish as every other person in the world. Normal people wanted what was best for them, and maybe the best for other people, only if they could benefit from it. Lucas was one of those selfish people that wanted to be happy. But he also wanted others around him to be happy. But with Brooke, she wanted everyone around her to be happy, but when it came to her own happiness, she wouldn't accept that precious gift. Lucas would never be able to understand for the life of him why Brooke was like that.

The walk home was the thing that got him the most. Lucas was pretty sure that Peyton was sitting down on the couch, drinking something no doubt, and sketching a drawing about horrible life was and Lucas would agree with her and drink too. They would never talk about what had happened, actually nothing would be said, and he was thankful for that.

The door creaked open as he stepped into the warm house, the heat nipping at his cold and flushed skin. It had been awhile since he had actually seen the house, and tonight it didn't look any different. Everything was the same, but they weren't. He walked deeper into the house until he entered the kitchen and saw Peyton exactly where he thought she would be: sitting in the living room couch, Fuse blaring from the television, a glass of bourbon on the coffee table, and a sketchbook on her lap. He glanced around the kitchen and saw a pot of coffee.

Peyton looked up at him, "I thought you were dead," she said bluntly, her eyes back on her sketch.

"You would've had a search party out for me if you thought I was dead."

"You're right, I know you would come back eventually. There's coffee in the pot, I thought you'd need it."

He got a mug from the cabinet and began to pour the hot black liquid, "How'd you figure that?"

"Because," she said, setting her sketchbook down, "this is the first time you've left the house all week, something must've happened."

Lucas nodded his head, taking a long gulp of the caffeinated beverage, "Yeah, something did, and like everything else in my life, I'm still stuck."

"Let me guess," Peyton said, "you say Brooke, didn't you?" It wasn't that she was trying to be insensitive, she was really concerned about him. But when she had known Lucas as long as she did, Peyton knew that it wasn't going to do any good to hover over him, waiting for him to Brooke. Plus, Peyton had experienced it times and times before, and it never made her feel better.

"Yeah, she was at the Rivercourt."

"Did you find out why she said yes?"

He smiled sadly, "I guess you could say that. But I realized tonight no matter how much me and Brooke can love each other, it's just not going to be enough because she doesn't want to hurt Brian. So, I guess that's why she said yes; because she says that Brian doesn't deserve to be hurt."

"I'm sorry Lucas. You didn't deserve that either," she said solemnly.

"I know, but I guess there comes a time when we have to let go, right? This is my time."

"But are you ready to let go?" she asked.

Lucas shrugged, "I guess I have to be." Even though he was calm and some what collected, he thought he couldn't stand straight. He was in his very own house, the largeness of it just leaving him cooped up in his mind. It seemed like the more coffee he drank, the more clustered he felt, like he was in a sauna that just kept on getting hotter and hotter.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Peyton asked, an uneasy feeling creeping in on her stomach.

"I'm going to bed," he stated before setting his mug down on the counter and leaving the kitchen.

"Lucas!" she called, watching as he slowly turned around and looked up at her. "Please, please don't do anything stupid."

Lucas smiled reassuringly, "I'm not going to do anything Peyton. That's one thing you don't have to worry about."

Peyton nodded, understanding the new state that Lucas was in. He was past the whole depressing-it's-scary stage. Now, he was just completely sad, but finally accepting the fact that Brooke was going to marry someone else that wasn't him. It even gave Peyton heartache. It just wasn't fair for the two fo them, and Brooke wasn't being fair to Brian. But what the hell could she do? Her and Brooke hadn't been friends in years, and that would just lead to bigger issues if she were to talk to Brooke. So what could she do? Absolutely nothing.

Darkness seemed to taunt Lucas a lot lately. Sometimes, he would have to catch himself, the shadows of various objects being mistaken for something else, or someone else, at that. It kind of surprised him when he entered the dark room, his eyes adusting to the sudden lack of light. It had been 24 hours, and Lucas had yet to take even a sip of alcohol. That showed signs of getting better, but Lucas knew in the end, that he could never fully be cured without his Pretty Girl with him.

As he laid there, the black mark of his Chinese tattoo showed through the dark room. He looked at it longingly, tracing over the pattern with his index finger. Lucas wished that Brooke was doing the exact same thing, except tracing her tattoo along her own hip, thinking about him. But no, he knew that she wasn't doing that. She was probably laying in bed with Brian right now, talking about all their wedding plans, and probably honey mooning in Fiji or Tibet. In all other words, they were talking about their future. Brooke's future without him.