Author's Note;; Thanks so much for all the reviews. i'm glad to know that the last chapter was a big hit. i know i left it on a pretty confusing note, but it will all be revealed and make sense once you scroll down and check it out the chapter. i've had this chapter done for a couple of days, maybe even a week right now, but i was just deciding on whether or not i wanted to add more, or if it was good just the way it is. there was a lot more that i wanted to put, but it wasn't right for this chapter, so i just left it the way it is right now.
Now here I go with a warning. The next couple of chapters are going to go a lot faster in terms of time. The next chapter, which I am working on now by the way, skips ahead a couple of months, and that's the way it's going to go from here on out. I'm not quite sure when the last chapter is going to be posted, but I do know it will be before the summer is over. Which still gives me a pretty big amount of time to finish it without any mistakes. I used one of the episode titles for the chapter, and you'll find out why in just a minute. Enjoy & Review!!
Chapter 23;; It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding.
It had taken hours to get to this destination, but finally Lucas was looking at the one place where he believed he would find some sort of absolution. It was early in the morning, the sun not even completely rising yet. Lucas found himself the only living specimen standing along the streets, besides the garbage men and the homeless people scrounging around for some leftover food from the night before. Smoke rose from the chimneys of various houses and stores, visibly contaminating the air, but in a good way. In all his life, Lucas never thought he would be standing in the streets of Florence, the place where his mother and sister had seeked their most greatest refuge.
Getting off the plane was one thing, but it was another trying to find the damn place. It took him a couple of minutes to realize that he wasn't in the United States anymore. Everyone here spoke Italian, and there was barely anyone that would be able to assist him by speaking English. After purchasing an Italian-English dictionary at an overly expensive price, he sought out to buy clothes that were once again, way too expensive. But he was shopping around in an airport. He should've known better. Taking almost two hours to form together words of a certain cafe that he was looking for, he went in search for someone that would be able to tell him where it was located at.
And here he was. Lucas was standing in front of his mother's cafe in Florence, Italy, and Karen Roe had no idea that her son was within fifty yards of her. He had taken a taxi to the place, and the cab driver had described to him the whole area they were driving around. From what Lucas could get from the man's heavy accent, he accumulated that Karen and her daughter Lily lived in a two bedroom apartment located right above the cafe. It made Lucas smile at the thought of his mom and baby sister wandering around the beautiful city together, eating chocolate scones and chasing the birds that pecked at the streets for little scraps of food.
Just then the curtains above the Cafe whipped open wildly, and a middle aged but beautiful woman with long black hair was revealed. Her eyes squinted by the sudden dim light. She yawned slightly, holding her hand to her mouth. Lucas continued to stare at her, wondering if his piercing blue eyes could pierce her attention. She patted her hair down, glancing up and down the street until her eyes rested on someone staring intently at her in the middle of the street. It was like time had stood still, and Karen Roe had finally laid eyes on her son. The son that she had not seen or talked to in almost six years. Her eyes larged, and her mouth gaped open. Lucas couldn't help but crack a smile.
Immediately she disappeared from the window, but only for a slight minute. After a few moments, seconds even, the door to the entrance to Karen's Cafe swung open, revealing his mother, running fervently towards her son. Lucas walked towards her, quickening his pace. And before he knew it, he felt his mom throw his arms around him as he laughed. This was the first time in a long time that he finally felt that he was at home. In Italy, of all places.
"Oh my boy," Karen gasped, holding onto her son for dear life.
Lucas smiled in his mother's hair, "I missed you, Ma." They pulled apart just in time for Karen to take a look at him. There was no doubt, a mother knew when her son was hurting, and the sight of Lucas with baggy eyes that read pain was enough. But there would be time for that later.
"Oh my goodness. What are you doing all the way over here?" she asked.
Lucas shrugged, "I thought I'd come visit you." And he left it at that until Karen couldn't stand it anymore.
"This is definitely a surprise. Come inside, I'll make you some hot chocolate," she insisted, pulling his hand into the Cafe. He chuckled. He missed her hot chocolate, too.
When he was six years old, his father made him practice free throws with a regular hoop. Besides the fact that he was too short in just about every possible way, he wasn't that strong either. But no, Dan had made it his mission to make sure his son was about to shoot free throws by seven, and three pointers by ten. That was all he had ever known. But after practicing for three hours straight, making almost every shot, Nathan had to endure the pain that was in his hands and arms for two weeks. The soreness, and the tenderness that it would never be alright stayed with him for awhile. But it taught him one thing, to not miss. Because everytime he missed, he had to shoot, again, and again.
But in this case, there was no other lesson than to just not have sex and get your wife pregnant ever again. This pain that was now settled, but still shooting through him, was ten times worst than anything basketball hand injury that could ever be attained. Although he did learn something: Haley was a lot more stronger than Nathan could have ever thought. The thought of her squeezing his hand senseless still made him cringe in pain. Even though that time was all up and over, and she was no longer screaming bloody murder right in his face, the ice that rested on his hand was proof and a reminder of that. If only they didn't have a beautiful baby boy to show for it.
James Lucas Scott was definitely the only good thing that came out of the miserable, scary experience. What with Haley threatening to never have sex with him again, and Lucas and Brooke's disappearance, the little baby was the thing that made him smile. He was in the baby room right now, sleeping, like he was supposed to. Haley was in her room as well, watching television and pigging out on food. The rest of the gang, well, Nathan wasn't really sure about them.
Mouth and GiGi had stopped by, along with Skills, Jake, and even Peyton. Rachel of course, was there for most of the time, other than the fact that she couldn't stand a whole day without taking a shower. Brooke was there, but something just wasn't right, and it wasn't until this moment that he actually had time to try and figure it out. Standing up, he made his way to Haley's room, seeing how she was doing before going on a mission to figure out his brother's leave of absence, during his nephew's first days on the earth.
"So, how's the mother doing?" Nathan asked, entering the room. Contrary to what she may believed, he thought she was the most beautiful than he had ever seen her. Haley, on the other hand, thought that she was a nervous wreck, and with her hormones still all over the place, she didn't even like her husband looking at her for too long.
Haley scoffed, "Ugh, she's fine. Although she can't figure out why everytime she moves, pain ends up pulsing through her."
Nathan chuckled, "Well, um, Hales. You did kind of just push a baby out yesterday."
"As if that should make a difference. I already had the baby, what's wrong with me now?"
"I guess it just takes some time," he said, examining what he had just said. It just takes some time. Oh, the irony of it all.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" she asked, suddenly curious as to what Nathan was thinking about.
"I don't know. I'm just kind of wondering what happened to Lucas. I mean, he came with me when you were in labor, and I haven't seen him since I left those double doors."
Haley stared awkwardly at her hands. Something told her that Brooke had let it rip. Literally. It had been only now that she finally realized the complete situation. Brooke had an actual baby, a baby that she had lost, and didn't tell anyone about. Haley didn't know if she should be mad right now, or understanding. But all in all, she couldn't be mad at her for long. Haley knew that the storm had hit during the birth of her son, and she knew that it was anything but put together. She wasn't quite sure if he was her place to tell Nathan, but what else was she supposed to do? Lie? That never worked well as long as they were concerned.
"There is something Brooke told me right before my water broke," she murmured, staring aimlessly outside the window.
"What is it?" he asked cautiously.
Haley sighed, "Brooke was pregnant."
"She was, pregnant?" He asked, blinking his eyes, trying to make sense of the whole situation. "But, if Brooke was pregnant, why are we just finding out?"
Haley shook her head, "She was pregnant during junior year of college. She had just found out and when she flew in to see Lucas that night, she planned on telling him, but they got in that fight, and she left without telling him. She figured after they had time to cool off, then she'd tell him, but before she could, Lucas was with Peyton. She miscarried."
Nathan sat there, wondering how things had gone from complicated to freaking rocket science. But when he thought about it, it sure did explain a lot in the way Brooke was acting, especially when it concerned getting back with Lucas. Oh man, Lucas. Nathan could only dream about what his older brother was going through. It was bad enough that he had lost the woman he loved, now he had to hear that he was the father of her child. Six years later.
"So that's why we haven't seen him? Because Brooke told him?"
"I'm guessing that's why. And I'm guessing the shock sent me straight into labor," Haley chuckled quietly. When Brooke had first told her, she was pretty damn mad. But now, when she thought about it, she didn't want to be angry with Brooke. She wanted to comfort her.
"It's been almost six years, and Brooke's just now coming clean? She's had plenty of opportunities."
"I know, it doesn't really make sense to me either. But I guess when you're in that situation, anything sounds logical."
At that moment Nathan didn't know if she should've been pissed off or just feeling bad for his old friend. Brooke wasn't one to dwell or to grieve that often, and even when she did, she would never show it. But this was a child. Brooke's own child. "You're not mad at her?"
"I can't really be. Not anymore," she shrugged. "Brooke did what she thought was right. I mean, if I was her, I wouldn't want to be the one to tell everybody that I had lost a child. If anything, I feel bad for her right now. I went off on her before my water broke. I kind of wish she would visit so I could apologize. Maybe we should just let this whole Lucas/Brooke thing go, Nate. If they're meant to be, then they'll be together."
"You're right," he nodded. "Us interfering with her decisions will just make things worse. Brooke has enough to deal with right now."
"It's like she's just now starting to deal with the whole loss."
Nathan sighed, "If Brooke's upset, I can only imagine what Luke's up to."
What do you really say to someone you haven't seen in six years?
As he sat on the barstool, swiveling it back and forth slightly, Lucas tried to form words within his own mind. Forming them carefully, of course. Karen was outside, watching Lily from the entrance door, making sure she got to school alright. Lily was too young at the time when her and Karen had left, so she didn't really remember her big brother. She had seen pictures and stuff, but nothing to make her really know him. Lucas didn't blame her, so he just waved politely as she bounced out the door.
He heard the bell jingle, and heard Karen's footsteps make their way behind the counter. With both hands on the countertop, she looked like a woman on a mission. Lucas continued to look at her, still trying to think. After all these years, brooding would stay with him, even if he was with his mom for the first time in years.
"So, what will it be?" she asked. Originally, she wanted to bombard him with questions, asking him what he really had been up to, and the most important question of all: Why was he here? But what kind of mother would she be? An annoying one, and she had just gotten her son back, and she wasn't about to lose him now.
He looked at her, eyebrows raised. "Uhm, can you still make really good hot chocolate?" It was innocent, and maybe even a little bit too childish, but damnit, Lucas hadn't had his mom's hot chocolate in forever. Even though just the thought of the foaming hot drink made him think of the biggest object of his heartache and his affections.
"You bet, kiddo," and with that, she disappeared behind the double doors. Lucas sighed, glancing around the Cafe. It was probably the most Americanized cafe in the area, and to some people that might have seemed a little mediocre, but to Lucas it was nice. Karen's Cafe was still in Tree Hill, but it wasn't the same with his mom not running it. As he looked around a little bit more, Lucas noticed that it almost looked like the exact same replica as Karen's cafe located back home. Although the shape of the place was different, it all looked the same, all the way down to the world map, and the 'Woot Woot' phrase located right above the counter.
It was still a little hard to believe that he was in Italy. It was a beautiful place, somewhere he would definitely want to return to. Maybe the next time he came for a visit, it would be under a little better of circumstances. He felt his eyes droop with every glance, and Lucas was pretty sure he looked like absolute shit.
"There you go," Karen said, returning with a hot mug with whipped cream on top. Lucas marveled at it secretly, like a little boy. He took it, mumbling a thanks under his breath. It was heavenly, and all of a sudden Lucas felt a lot better. Karen took this time to survery her son. Right when she saw it, she could not have been more happy and proud. He had matured, but now that she was looking at him, Karen saw nothing but a broken man.
"So, are you really going to tell me why you're here?" she asked, leaning against the counter.
Lucas looked at her, "I thought I told you. I missed you and Lily. Can I just visit you without there being a problem?"
"Yes, you could," Karen nodded. "But I know that's not the reason. I know that look when I see it. You're heartbroken."
"Nothing gets past you does it?" he asked, wiping his mouth of the whipped foam that had dropped all over his face.
Karen shrugged, "You're my son. I know you."
Lucas tracd his finger over the rin of his mug. "Things just haven't been right lately, Ma. Actually, they haven't been right for awhile. Only just now it all just came back to bite me in the ass. I had to go somewhere. This is the first place I thought of."
"Well it's not that I'm upset to see you. I'm thrilled, actually. But you look seriously bothered, Luke. Now what exactly is it that's wrong?"
"It's, everything!" Lucas exclaimed. "I'm married to someone that I'm not in love with. I run the dealership that originally belonged to a father that I hated. Everyone in Tree Hill hates me. And on top of that, I just recently found out that I had fathered a child."
Karen's eyes widened, "A child? You have a child, Lucas?"
He shook his head, "Had. Brooke was pregnant while we were in college. She never got a chance to tell me about it because she found out about me and Peyton. She miscarried, and I just found out about it. I guess that's why I was here. Tree Hill was killing me, Ma. I had to get out."
Karen took her son in her arms, not knowing what to say. It was definitely a shock, knowing that she could've been a grandmother. But it was a whole different feeling for her son. There was no doubt in Karen's mind that Lucas would've made a great father. But circumstances weren't right, she knew that. But did he? It wasn't long after that she felt a wet spot forming on her shoulder, realizing her son was crying. She couldn't blame him for it either.
"She couldn't even tell me to my face," he mumbled, furiously wiping his eyes. "She waited six fucking years to tell me this, Ma. And Brooke's had plenty of opportunities ever since she got into town. Geez, I just don't see how I can just move on from this." His head hurt, and his eyes were burning. Things just weren't right.
"I know," she said, rubbing his back. "But Brooke did what she thought was right at the time. You were already with Peyton at the time, maybe she felt like there was nothing else she could do. It definitely wasn't the best decision. Believe me. But you know Brooke. She did what she thought was best at the time. And I know as much as you're angry and hurt by what she kept from you, you still love her, and that's never going to go away, Lucas."
Lucas shook his head slightly. "I know. It's just really hard to look past this. This is a child we're talking about. I guess in a way I kind of blame myself. If me and Peyton never got together, I would've been there with Brooke through the pregnancy. Maybe I wouldn't be this way right now."
"It's a little late now," she chuckled. "You have you face everything head on. You can't think about what could-have-been, because that's over. Now, I can't really be mad at you for wanting to run away from Tree Hill. What do you think I've been doing for the past six years?"
"I don't know. Trying to get away from me?" he asked.
"Not get away from you, just find some sort of common ground where you didn't hate me," she said.
"I never hated you. I just, I didn't know what to do. I felt just so, lost, and I thought that if I had people around me, they would lose themselves too, and end up resenting me for it. That was something I couldn't live with," Lucas explained.
"You know Luke, you're done some pretty bad things growing up. But you always found some way to bounce back. That whole situation, and trial that you were going through was no different than back then. I knew it was only a matter of time before you straightened up. And when you did, you would know where to find me."
"What I should do now?" he asked. At the moment he wasn't really looking forward to talking out his problems. No. All he wanted right now was for someone to tell him what he should do, and follow it. Lucas didn't want contemplating, or decision-making. That crap was over rated anyway. He just wanted someone to tell him what to do for once.
Karen sighed, "I think you should go upstairs and take a nap. Then, when you wake up, you're going to eat. Then, we'll go out and get you some clothes, seeing as you didn't leave the taxi with anything but that," she said, pointing to the small plastic bag that held two T-shirts from the airport.
"Sleep, eat, shop," he stated, making his way up the stairs, Karen right behind him. His eyes became even more droopy with every step that he took. It didn't make sense that he could be this tired, but not even be sleeping yet. Lucas entered the first room he saw, and a big bed made him smile dizzily. Karen chuckled, knowing how tired her son was.
"Crash," she instructed. She walked over to the closet and brought out a large Afghan blanket and laid it over his body.
"You don't have to tell me twice," he mumbled, sleep over taking him.
The dirty road left a sense of comfort and familiarity as she drove through the dust. She hadn't been here in awhile, and she didn't plan on being there. But something in her head told her to just get up and go. Screw everyone else and screw her safety and sanity. Who needed that anyway? Her knuckles were numb and pale as she gripped the steering wheel, staring up at her old hang out place. Their old hang out place.
It still smelled of stale cigarettes, beer, along with the scent of sex. It wasn't exactly the most comforting of senses, but to Brooke, it brought back memories. Memories that she wanted to hold onto. Making her way past the various men, she stopped in front of the bar. Behind it stood someone that she hadn't seen in awhile. He was nobody special, but he was always there while she was growing up. He was always there to call her a cab, or call Peyton.
"Well, well. I was hoping I would never see you again. No offense," he chuckled, cleaning off a glass.
Brooke chuckled, sitting down on a stool, "Hey Eddie. I know, I didn't expect to be here either."
"You got to get out some time. What will it be?" he asked.
"Five tequila shots. Then I'll have a glass of bouron. Then, I'll have a Corona with lime," she stated, taking out a fifty dollar bill.
He waved his hand, "It's on me." Brooke slowly put the bill back in her pocket, and sighed. This wasn't her. This wasn't her at all. This, was someone she used to be, someone who did anything and everything to try to run away from her problems and all her mistakes. But, this was a pretty big mistake. The mistake of all mistakes, and Brooke didn't know how to fix it this time. In fact, she didn't think there was any way to fix it. Lucas was mad at her, and she didn't think he would forgive her anytime soon.
Tipping the shots back furiously, her eyes watered from the strength of the alcohol. It had been awhile since she had an actual drink. Not the champagne and cavier crap, but hard core booze. She was already done with the shots and downing the bourbon. It was then she remembered why she didn't drink that much anymore. She felt a buzz already creep up on her, causing her to chuckle quietly to herself. Her head felt weightless, just floating above her neck.
Now she was working on the Corona, squeezing the lime with her teeth every now and then. The sourness of it burned her throat and tongue Brooke knew perfectly well that this definitely wasn't going to feel good tomorrow morning. Hell, she wasn't feeling good right now, and that's what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to feel nothing, and instead, the guilt and the pain was ten times as worse. So she blamed the tears for the strong booze. It was a lot easier admitting that than admitting she was a failure.
There were businessmen smoking cigars at different tables, looking for a place to relax after long hours in the office. There were various couples too in secluded corners, and Brooke could bet anything that they were wearing marriage rings, but not to each other. Right behind her was a tall brick wall that led to the restrooms and the back room, the first place she and Lucas had ever kissed at. It was also the place where she showed him her tattoo, and influenced him to get one of his own.
She was pretty sure her hair was messed up and tangled after driving 80 mph with her windows down, but Brooke didn't care. Although every man in the bar had checked her out at least five times that night, Brooke felt nothing towards them. She didn't feel embarassed, or tempted, or even caring. She felt nothing but the pain and memories that had basically swallowed her whole for the past six years. Her body didn't feel like it existed, although she could feel the slight banging feeling forming in her head.
A body slid down on the barstool next to her. Brooke rolled her eyes in drunken annoyance. This was by far the last thing she needed right now.
"Thought I'd find you here," Peyton said, glancing around at the bar. Under no circumstances did she expect herself to be here of all places, looking for Brooke. But, despite what had happened, Peyton couldn't help but be worried and concerned. Brooke was still her friend, and she knew the brunette would be looking for something to take away the pain. Peyton knew first hand how that worked. She had taken off spontaneously, not even bothering to tell anyone where she was going. Not like anyone would notice, anyway.
"What makes you think that?" Brooke mumbled, her vision becoming blurry. All she could make out was blonde curls. That was all she could really need to know who it was. Right now she wasn't exactly sure what exactly you would call her and Peyton. They weren't friends, and it seemed weird to call them acquaintances.
Peyton shrugged, "It's been a long time Brooke, but I still know you."
"What does it matter Peyton?" she asked. "Lucas hates me. Haley hates me. Nathan hates me. Everyone hates me."
"Not everyone hates you Brooke," Peyton began. "So what? You made a little mistake. We all mess up. But that's not a reason to hide from the rest of the world."
Brooke scoffed, "You do it." Even drunk, she could throw an innocent insult. Peyton didn't even really find it offensive. It was quite funny because it was true.
"Yeah, you're right. But I'm learning to change that. And when have you ever been like me?"
"That's true," Brooke nodded, taking another gulp from the bottle. "But I love Lucas so much, and now he doesn't even want to look at me. Fuck, I don't even know where he is right now." For someone being drunk, Brooke was right. When she thought about it, she realized that Lucas was in fact, nowhere to be found. Where was he?
Little Jamie Scott had been brought into the world yesterday. If Peyton did he math right, Lucas had left after the stunning revelation rom Brooke only a couple of minutes after Haley had been brought into the hospital. So, where was he? Peyton didn't want to worry so much about it right now. But frankly she was kind of worried. It didn't surprise her that Lucas just up and went off somewhere. But he was upset. How upset could he possibly be?
"How about you just don't worry about that. Lucas will come around. He always does. So just come back to the house with me and sleeping this, thing, off," she said, gesturing to the wreck that Brooke had became all in a span of about less than twenty minutes.
Brooke's eyes drooped, "Now why would I want to do that? We're not even really friends." Even though she was drunk, she knew perfectly well of her and Peyton's relationship. Or more like lack of. But she was really drunk, and nothing really made sense except the face that Peyton was offering her a ride home and a place to stay for the night.
"As of right now, we are friends," Peyton stated, taking ahold of one of her arms, propping her up. "You'll thank me for this in the morning. Trust me."
Brooke snorted, a burp following right after. "Okay, if you say so Goldilocks."
After spending a total of fifteen minutes trying to get the drunk brunette in the passenger seat, she decided that she would need the help of Eddie. When that was over with, Peyton sped through the empty dark streets, the cool wind blowing in their hair. Secretly she hoped that the strong wind would blow the drunk right out of Brooke, and replace it with soberness. Right now she wasn't sure if it was working, but she wouldn't say anything.
Every once in awhile she would glance over at her friend, to make sure that she was alright. But all Peyton would see was a semi-drunk girl in a daze. She sighed, knowing that this was her role as the supposed 'best friend,' It wasn't like Brooke would care anyway, she probably forgot about the whole vendetta that she was supposed to have against the blonde.
Pulling into the driveway, Peyton was glad that all the nights were off, meaning that Lucas wasn't home. She still wondered where the hell he could be, but she placed the worry in the back of her head, and brought Brooke's issues to the surface. Shutting the door behind her, she jogged over to the other side, taking Brooke in one arm and closing the car door with the other. It took her quite some time, but she finally got the front door open, switching the light on.
Brooke remained quiet, only groaning and mumbling every now and then. Peyton set her down on the couch before going into the kitchen, already on her way to making a big strong pot of coffee. Even though she was dunk, she knew that Brooke would appreciate it in a little bit. After she was done, Peyton sat down on the couch too, flipping through the channels to something that Brooke would potentially watch. Peyton thought it was funny that she was taking care of a drunken Brooke, when they weren't even really friends.
Taking out he cell phone, Peyton scrolled down the contacts before pressing 'Send.' Holding the phone to her ear, she haplessly played with one of her curls, rolling it around her finger and letting it go, the strand springing in her face. She sighed, the ringing noise repeating over and over again.
"Hello?"
"I got a drunk Brooke here," she stated, as if she was speaking secretly, in fear that somebody would hear her.
"Seriously? It's like, two in the morning, Peyt."
"I wouldn't call you if I didn't think you could help." She heard a long sigh, and she smirked in accomplishment. She knew he would come around.
"Would it make you feel better if I said that I would stop by later. Or like, later in the morning?"
Peyton smiled, "That's all I wanted to hear. I don't really know who to handle this. I mean, I haven't had to in so long."
"Don't you think you're just who she needs to be talking to?"
"I don't know. Maybe?" she guessed. Frankly, she didn't really know.
"Just talk to her a little bit, if she's still conscious. I'll stop by around seven or eight."
"Okay, thanks," she said, ending the call. Peyton glanced over at Brooke, who was staring at the television, but not really watching. Emerging from the couch, Peyton took the pot of freshly made coffee and poured it into a mug. Reaching her hand into the cabinets, she pulled out a bottle of Aspirin and went to the refrigerator, taking out a bottle of water. By this point, Peyton thought it was safe to say that Brooke was starting to sober up, rubbing her temples miserably, the depression catching up with her.
"You might want to take those," Peyton stated, setting the coffee, Aspirin, and water down on the coffee table. She collapsed on the couch with her own mug of coffee, watching the Real World Hollywood. It was safe to say that it was definitely awkward having Brooke in her house. But what else could she do.
Brooke gingerly stood up, grabbing ahold of the water and Aspirin. Her head was already killing her, even though she had only been drunk for a short time. After taking the Aspirin, she took ahold of the mug of coffee, the hot, strong liquid soothing her throat. Sighing, she leaned her head against the couch, her head in desperate need of a reality check.
"So," Peyton began. "Where's your fiance at?" Despite that fact that she had picked Brooke up outside of town at a greasy bar, drove her back to her into the house, and made her coffee, that didn't take away the fact that Peyton was kind of mad at Brooek's decisions. Well, decision. And since Brooke was out late at night at the Blue Post, where did that leave Brian? No doubt he had no idea where she was at.
"Business trip to Chicago," Brooke answered, her eyes still closed. "He should be back some time tomorrow."
"Did anyone know where you were tonight?" she asked, taking a gulp from her mug.
Brooke shrugged, "I don't know. I guess not if I'm here, right?"
"Yeah," Peyton mumbled. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why were you at the Blue Post?"
"I do mind," Brooke said, sitting up. Sure, Peyton had saved her, kind of, but she wasn't into sharing all her business with the blonde just yet.
Peyton scoffed, "You know, whatever Brooke. I was just trying to help. I didn't have you get you, you know. I could've just left you there to be used by some gross old guy."
"Like that would ever happen," Brooke said. "Fine, you want to know why I went? Because I'm an idiot, Peyton. I screw up over and over again, and I'm tired of it."
"And like I told you at the bar, we all make mistakes. I mean, sure, you upset Lucas. But you're in a relationship with Brian. What should he expect?"
Brooke sighed, realizing that Peyton had no idea. "That's not why he's mad at me. It's something else." Well this was definitely news to her. What else could Brooke have possibly done that would make Lucas completely disappear? And more importantly, when was this?"
"Something else?"
"I was pregnant junior year of college, Peyton. I didn't tell Lucas until the other day," she said quietly. If there was one thing that would knock the wind out of her, that was sure to do it. She sat there, mulling over what Brooke had just said. Frankly, she was a bit confused.
"If you were pregnant, what happened to, it?" she asked, not really knowing what to say.
Brooke ran a hand through her disheveled hair, "I miscarried before I got to tell him anything." She couldn't say it was Peyton and Lucas' fault that she miscarried, and she wouldn't dare say it out loud to the blonde, but apart of her just wanted to yell and scream at Peyton, blaming her for everything, because she had just begun to feel the loss.
"Wow," Peyton said. "This just completely turns everything around. So, why did you wait this long?"
"At the time I was angry and hurt. I wanted to cut all ties and get as far away as I could get. I guess I knew that if Lucas knew about the miscarriage, he would want to be with me, and I didn't want that for myself or for him. Plus, he was with you," she explained, glancing at her with pained eyes. Peyton knew that she couldn't be mad at Brooke. First off, she didn't have a right to, and second, she wasn't sure what she would do herself. Surely, running away would be the first on her list.
"You're just dealing with it now, aren't you?" she asked.
Brooke nodded, "I think I am."
"Yeah, I don't really blame you for going to the Blue Post," Peyton said, chuckling quietly. Brooke couldn't help but laugh with her.
"Yeah, so basically I'm screwed for life."
"I wouldn't say that, you just got to ride it out," she said, leaning her head against the couch. Brooke continued to stare off into space, tears silently pouring down her porcelein cheeks. They streamed down her face, threatening to slip inside her mouth, the salty taste suddenly bitter. Ride it out. What did that mean exactly? There was no way in hell Brooke would want to ride out this whole situation. She would surely end up dead by the time the current went away. She was deeply miserable and drowning in her own guilt and suffering. And there was no one there to save her this time. Not even Brian could help her. He didn't even know what was happening right now.
Peyton lifted her head, knowing that if she didn't say this, she could possibly never have a chance. "Brooke, I know that we're not really considered anything right now. Not even friends. And I know you told me that there was no way that you could ever look at me the same way again, and I don't really blame you. I messed up way too many times to count and I wish I could take it back. But I want you to know that I'll always be there for you whenever you need me. You may not want it, but I'm here," she shrugged.
Peeking out of the blinds in the living room, a faint light settled throughout the room, and throughout both their minds. Peyton was done caring whether or not she would look stupid or looked desperate. Chances were Peyton did look stupid and desperate right now, but it was no longer an issue. She knew that Brooke needed her, needed somebody. Peyton knew what it was like to not have anyone there for you when it counted. If you had to ask her, this counted.
"Good, because I think I need it right about now," she said, laughing as she copped a sob, not being able to hold it in anymore.
"Say no more," Peyton said before wrapping her arms around her. It felt good to finally have her friend back. They sat there for awhile, Brooke crying in her best friend's arms. It seemed that every single second that went by, the light became more brighter and more apparent. Brooke didn't know it, but Peyton was expecting a visit in a little while. Although she was surprised that time had gone by way too fast for both their likings. It was like lights resembled life, and it looked like Brooke had to face it a lot sooner than she wanted to.
"Thanks, Goldilocks," Brooke said, rubbing her nose on her sleeve. Apart of her felt embarassed that she had just cried in Peyton's arms. Who was she to turn to her for comfort, when she had spent a good six years being angry and shit talking her? But thankfully, Peyton didn't hold it against her, and it seemed like things got better. Only by a miniscule.
"Don't ever thank me for being there," Peyton said. "You know one of the things that had stayed constant with you throughout the years. You ALWAYS bounce back, no matter what the situation or how hurt you are. You always find your way back on track. This isn't any different than any of those times."
"I know," Brooke nodded. "It's just hard bouncing back from this. I mean, I lost Lucas once, that almost killed me along with someone else."
Peyton sighed, "Okay, so I don't want you getting mad at me, but I think I should tell you that I called Nathan," she cringed.
Brooke shrugged, "I can't be mad at you for that. I'm guessing Nathan wants to take his turn yelling at me doesn't he?"
"That's not what he wants," a voice said from the doorway. Brooke and Peyton whipped their heads around to face Nathan. He stood there with a friendly smile. On his way over to Peyton's house, he thought about what he wanted to say. He wasn't mad, just kind of still in shock of just knowing that Brooke was pregnant with Lucas' child. Nathan knew Brooke didn't do it out of spite or to hurt Lucas. She just thought it was the right thing at the time. Key word being at the time.
"Then what does he want?" Brooke asked. Nathan walked over and sat next to her on the couch.
"I don't want anything from you, Brooke," Nathan explained. "I'm not here to yell at you, or to preach to you about how wrong you were. I don't think any of us are in any position to pass judgment. You were scared and thought you were doing the right thing at the time. And Haley isn't mad at you either."
Brooke scoffed, "Nathan, I made her go into fucking labor!"
Nathan chuckled, "Well you don't exactly know that. Haley was due to give birth any day."
"It was still my fault. And yes, she is mad at me," she said.
"If she wasn't in a hospital bed right now she would've been here to tell you herself."
"I don't know, Nate. I just feel so bad about keeping this from everyone for years..."
Nathan wrapped his arms around her, "If anything we should be the ones feelings bad. Although I am a tad bit irked that you didn't tell us sooner, I can't believe you went through something like this alone. We just wish we would've known."
Brooke nodded, "Something tells me that it would've been a lot better if you guys had known."
"Hell yeah. My ass would've been here a long time ago," Rachel said, stepping into the living. She went and sat on a loveseat. So maybe dealing with all this drama wasn't something that she was looking for when she unknowingly came to Tree Hill. But for one thing, it made her realize everything that she had missed, and everything that she could've been there for. Luckily, she didn't miss the birth of a new generation, especially if you were as cute as Jamie Scott. Yeah, your fat ass, Brooke thought.
"Okay, so I don't really mean to kind of egg on a bad subject, but where the hell has Lucas gone?" Rachel asked. Of course, it wasn't the best question that could've popped into her mind. It was completely logical, but it wasn't really the best time. But even if it wasn't appropriate, it had been on everyone's minds ever since they found out that Brooke was pregnant. It was only a matter of time before people started finding out. But, Lucas was nowhere to be found, and everyone wanted to know how he was doing.
Nathan sighed, "Honestly, I have no idea. The last time I saw him was when we first got to the hospital."
"The last time I saw him was that morning when I went into work," Peyton added.
"Come to think of it, I haven't even tried to look for him," Nathan said, suddenly feeling guilty.
"Nathan don't you dare feel bad," Brooke said, reading his thoughts. "You just had a baby, of course it would slip your mind."
"Nate, why don't you and Peyton take the car out and drive around town for any sign of him. Me and Brooke will stay here," Rachel suggested.
Peyton shrugged, "I'm in."
"Yeah, we'll be back in a little bit guys," Nathan said before grabbing his keys. As the front door closed shut, Rachel realized just how weird this was going to be. Hanging out with Brooke was never something that was considered awkward. They insulted each other, maybe agreed on something, and that was that. But now that they were actually faced with the silence of something serious, Rachel wasn't really sure how to go about this. Twisting her Rolex around on her wrist, she glanced around the house, looking for something, anything that would start up a conversation. Another thing nobody knew about Rachel: she hated silence.
"It's okay Rachel," Brooke said. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
"It's not that," she said. "I just, I don't know what to say. And I don't really have a place saying anything either."
"Why do you say that?"
Rachel shrugged, "We haven't really spoken in years. And I'm not exactly the best person to talk to about serious stuff like this."
"Maybe that's why you're here. So we don't talk about serious stuff. There's only so much someone can take, you know."
Rachel smirked, "I guess not. So, how's your whole business doing?
"You should know. If I remember correctly, I've read a few magazines showing shots of you at some of my couture runway shows."
"So I've been to a few of your fashion shows. That doesn't mean anything. I could walk straight into Wal Mart, it doesn't mean I know their sales in electronics."
Brooke chuckled, "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's doing good. I'm kind of taking a break with working. So when I get back to New York, it's strictly business from then on."
"What about your wedding? You're having it in Tree Hill right? So are you just not going to have a honeymoon?"
"I never thought about that," she said, suddenly realizing the huge rock on her left hand ring finger. Just when she thought she was over this serious issues crap, there it was again.
Rachel winced, already knowing she had said too much, "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that."
Brooke shook her head, "It's okay, I'm glad that you mentioned it actually. I mean, I don't even really know the plan anymore."
"You still have plenty of time. You and Brian aren't getting married for a little while."
"Actually no. The last time me and Brian talked about the wedding, we decided between two or three months."
"How the fuck are you going to pull that off?" Rachel asked, examining her nails.
Brooke shrugged, "It didn't seem to hard at first. But I want to get married here, that's for sure."
Throughout the conversation, Rachel sat there thinking. Sure, Brooke wanted to get married in Tree Hill, but to Brian? Or Lucas? She would ever point that out at this second. Even she wasn't that much of a bitch. Checking the clock, Peyton and Nathan had been gone for only ten minutes. Secretly she hoped that they would find Lucas and bring his stupid ass back so she herself could beat the crap out of him. Rachel inwardly smirked to herself. Things had definitely not changed since she had left. Something told her they would never change. All the drama, the deceit, the freaking crying all the damn time, would never be over. It would subside, but never be over as far as they were all concerned.
"So tell me about this Brian guy," Rachel said. "Is he nice?"
"You haven't heard of him before?" Brooke asked, kind of surprised.
Rachel shrugged, "I really could care less about watching television. I don't really have time for that anyway. But he's got to be somewhat alright if he's hanging with you, right?"
"Wow, the first ever compliment from Rachel Gatina," Brooke chuckled.
"Yeah, I wouldn't get too used to it. It's pretty freaking early in the morning."
"Whatever. He runs his late grandfather's business. He does a little bit of everything," Brooke explained, picking the lint off of the pillow she was clutching like a lifeline.
Rachel nodded, "So in other words, the dude is rich as hell. And maybe more rich than you and Nathan, perhaps?"
"Um, no actually," Brooke said. "But he can afford just about everything I can afford. Plus, there's more young people in the world than any other generation."
"Thanks for the enlightenment," Rachel said. "But I already knew he was rolling in dough. That ring almost blinded me when I first saw you."
Brooke admired it. It was definitely beautiful. "Yeah, he flew to New York, picked it out, and flew back the same night just to give it to me."
"He really loves you," Rchel observed. "I'm sure you guys will be happy together."
"Yeah, maybe," Brooke sighed, not really knowing what she had just said.
After a good eight hours of sleep, he had resorted to laying on the same bed, mulling over the past short of twenty four hours. His head was still woozy even though he had a good number of sleep and he was still lightheaded even though he was laying down. And his heart was still breaking, still missing her, even though he was thousands of miles away. Lucas should've known that the ache in his heart wouldn't go away. He should've known before he spent hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket and useless clothes that he would never wear again. But once again, he wasn't thinking. One thing did come out of not thinking; he had flown to Florence Italy, and reunited with his mom, who was now downstairs, cooking all of Lucas' old favorites from the Cafe. The scent of just about everything wholly and hearty reached his nostrils, and his stomach growled abnormally.
A few more seconds later, Lucas heard what had sounded like a herd of mini elephants run up the stairs. He grinned, having the familiar feeling of being home. Just then, the door burst open and a whirlwind of brown and yellow collided with him. Lily was now jumping on his bed, her dark brown hair jumping along with her yellow dress.
"Lucas! Lucas! Wake up!" Lily yelled, still jumping on Lucas' bed. Now, Lucas had not seen his little sister since she had left along with Karen for Italy. Although it had been quite a long time, she had ceased to forget about her older brother, and he didn't think Karen would've let her forget anyway. It was funny how a child could just be so open and personal with someone they had not seen in forever, or a stranger. Lucas was like a stranger at the moment with his mother and sister, whether they felt it or not.
"You know, in America kids are usually really tired and wiped when they get home from school," Lucas said, sitting up and running a hand through his messy blonde hair.
Lily chuckled, shaking her head, "But we're in Italy, silly goose. Now hurry up! Ma made mashed tatters and fried chicken!" With that, she jumped from the bed and began the fast descent downstairs. Lucas' stomach growled even louder at the mention of fried chicken and 'mashed tatters,' as Lily had called them. Even though he felt like crap, and he was pretty sure he smelled like it too, he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to eat at this moment. Walking down the stairs seemed to be the most difficult thing to do without almost tripping. His feet wanted to get to it's destination, but they were having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other, on an elevated surface at that.
The scent of a home cooked meal became more apparent as he entered the Cafe, which was lighted by oil lamps and a dim light on the ceiling. Lily had run around the counter and disappeared into the kitchen, before running out, flashing him a smile, and pushing the front door outside. It amazed him how a little person could contain so much energy. Lucas needed that right about now. Karen came out of the kitchen, carrying three plates. One plate was exceptionally big, which he would guess was his.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, setting down the three plates as a table nearest to the large window.
"Like I just slept through hibernation," Lucas said, sitting down, his eyes already feeling droopy.
"I would think so. The flight from Tree Hill to here was absolutely ridiculous when me and Lily came. It took me a good week to actually not be tired all the time," Karen explained. The door jingled as Lily came back in, flipping the OPEN sign to CLOSED before locking the door. It made Lucas smile and remember the times when he himself used to be the one to lock the front door and flip the sign whenever he would come home from playing at the Rivercourt to have dinner.
"Well I certainly hope you're hungry," Karen said, sliding Lucas' plate in front of her. Before the plate even stopped, Lucas had picked up his spoon and fork and was now digging into his meal. Karen didn't say anything, and she didn't think she would have to. It was understandable that he would be hungry.
"Lucas! I can't believe you started without me," Lily exclaimed as she sat down next to him at the table.
"Sorry, Lil," Lucas answered, wiping his mouth. "I was really hungry."
Lily shrugged. "Eh, it's okay. Ma, did you tell Lucas where we're going after dinner?" she asked, looking at Karen expectantly. Lucas looked at Karen, confused.
"Well, it might not be that big of a deal to you, Luke. But we were going to go down and get some ice cream."
"Not ice cream, Ma! Gelato!" Lily shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.
Karen rolled her eyes, "Okay, Lil. Gelato."
Lucas smiled, "Yeah sure. I've never had gelato before." As he continued to eat dinner, he tried to laugh and smile immensely at everything that Lily was saying. She was really charming and sweet, but all he thought think of was the other brunette back in Tree Hill. Maybe it was the fact that Lily reminded him of Brooke, but Lucas could not get her out of his mind. It seemed like everything that popped into his mind or was said aloud reminded him of her. This was not what he wanted. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Apart of him wanted to get a phone card and call Haley or Peyton, wanting to know how Brooke was doing, if she was even thinking about him, or even caring.
Karen glanced at her son every now and then, knowing very well that he was just putting on a show for his little sister. But what he had seemed to forgotten was that Karen knew all, no matter how much time has passed. It hurt her badly to see Lucas suffering right now. But there was really nothing that Karen could do. It was all up to Lucas and Brooke at this point, and she just wished that they woudn't run away from the matter like they did before. As Lily began talking about the mean boy at school that sat behind her that kept on pulling on her hair, Karen wished that Lucas could just pull Brooke's hair, and they would all know, including Brooke, that he liked her.
"So I think it's safe to say that Lucas isn't even in Tree Hill anymore," Nathan said, coming to a stop light. Him and Peyton had drove around town three times already, and there was still no sign of the brooding blonde. Peyton had began dialing numbers, asking anybody if they had seen Lucas. No such luck. There was nowhere to hide in Tree Hill, absolutely nowhere. Lucas' car was missing, along with him. He had racked his brain, and still came up with nothing.
"But where else could he possibly be?" Peyton asked, just getting off the phone with Mouth.
Nathan shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine. You think he might've went to the Blue Post?"
Peyton shook her head, "I don't think so. I picked Brooke up from there, remember?"
He sighed. Apart of him wanted to beat the shit out of his brother for making things a lot more complicated. His son was just born yesterday, and here he was on a freaking search. Things weren't supposed to be this way. And if they were, then Nathan wasn't supposed to be apart of it. But he knew that he had to help. For Brooke, and for Lucas. After all, Nathan still thought that this was his fault. He just wished that Lucas would show up sooner or later.
"Maybe we should just go back and wait for Lucas to turn up," Nathan suggested.
"But what if Lucas is in trouble? We can't just leave him," Peyton stated. She knew better than most people that Lucas tended to get into trouble when he was hurting. Peyton wasn't saying that he was, but you never knew with her husband. Lucas never thought about things when he was feeling strongly about something. It wasn't really his strong suit.
"Lucas isn't in trouble. He's just hurting right now. Maybe if he stop calling and looking for him, he'll come back when he's ready."
"If he's ever ready. He's really broken up about this."
"Yeah," Nathan nodded. "But he can't just hide from it. Him and Brooke need to have a serious talk."
"I still can't believe she was pregnant," Peyton said.
"Do you feel guilty about it?"
She shrugged, "Kind of. I mean, if me and Lucas would have never gotten together, maybe the baby still would've been alive."
"Peyton you can't think like that," Nathan said. "You can't keep thinking about what could have been."
"I know. But I still feel bad. That would've been one hell of a kid," Peyton chuckled.
Nathan smiled, "Yeah, a cute one, too."
"So," Peyton began. "Back to my place?"
"Yep. We're not going to find anything here," Nathan said. "Hopefully Brooke's doing better."
"She should be. Rachel's with her."
"Yeah, Rachel does have a way with that. So I'm guessing you and Brooke are friends again?"
Peyton nodded, "Yeah, we talked about it when she sobered up. We're past the whole thing."
"That's good. She needs all the support and friends she can get."
"Yeah, although it is kind of weird that I'm married to the guy she's in love with."
"Well, when has this town ever been normal?" Nathan asked.
"Never," Peyton chuckled.