AN – I own nothing!

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Chapter 54

Hermione opened her eyes and knew exactly where she was—in her room with Severus's arms around her from behind. She also knew that Severus was awake as his one of his hands gently caressed her flat stomach. Not wanting him to know that she was awake, she glanced at the clock on her nightstand without moving her head. The clock read ten PM. She let out a groan. It was late and she was hungry.

Severus stopped his hand from rubbing along Hermione's stomach when he heard her groan. "Are you awake Little One?" he asked her softly not far from her ear.

Damn! Hermione cursed to herself inwardly. She didn't want him to know that she was awake. She knew all too well that he was going to urge her to talk to him. Still, she was in no mood to, and continued to hate herself.

Severus kept silent. He knew that she was very much awake for she slightly stiffened in his arms a moment ago. If Hermione was having another one of her nightmares, she would be whimpering and thrashing, which she wasn't doing at all. Instead, she lay motionless and still. "Will you still not speak with me?" he finally asked.

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to ignore him as best as she could. It was very difficult to and failed as soon as the second she tried. His warm, hot breath felt good against the skin of the back of her neck. Lying in the confines and safeness in his arms was where she wanted to be, and nowhere else in the world. If she could put walls around her emotions, she would have done it instantly. Sadly, she couldn't do anything to push him away.

Severus sighed. Getting her to talk to him was going to be harder than expected. He wasn't going to back down to the challenge. Ginny told him that he had to prove to Hermione that he loved her and that was exactly what he was going to do. Firstly, he had to remind her that he did. "I love you Hermione," he said. After, he planted a soft kiss just on her earlobe.

Those three simple words hurt Hermione more by making her feel guilty. She didn't need to be reminded again of her mistakes of not loving him enough. She slipped out of his arms with no struggle and got up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked as he watched her walk away.

Hermione didn't answer him and just walked into the bathroom.

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Hermione sat on the chair behind the dresser, and stared at her own reflection on the mirror in front of her. She herself did not recognize who she was. The person she saw in the reflection was a woman with such sadness and depression. When she saw Severus's reflection, standing behind her, she couldn't look at him and just cast her eyes down on the perfume and cologne bottles.

Severus walked followed Hermione into the dresser and bathroom area after minutes of waiting for her to come out. He was worried. He didn't hear the water running or the toilet flushing. Once he saw her sitting in front of the dresser, he knew he had to talk to her and ask her questions straight forward.

"No," Hermione said softly as she felt the chair move. And then in front of her, Severus had leveled his eyes with hers.

"I talked with Ginerva this afternoon," he informed her. His voice wasn't harsh, but rather soft. There was a small part of him that wanted to snap at her, but he knew best not to. "Why do you hate yourself Hermione?"

Refusing to answer him, she turned her head away.

Severus's mind boggled as he tried to figure out what to say next. She was being too stubborn and it wasn't helping at all, but making things harder for him. As he got down on his knees, he took her hands in his, placing them on her thighs. "I may be new with being in love, and I may not be the best person to talk to about it, but I am your husband. As far as I know, relationships work well when couples both love each other. It is not a measure of how much one loves the other. You love me, and I love you. That is what matters."

"And if it's not enough for the other?" Hermione sniffled.

"A meddling old fool once told me that love is always enough," he answered.

"I hate myself."

"I don't understand how you can when you are loved by many, most of all, me."

Hermione turned and looked deep into his eyes. They were filled with emotion and love, all for her. She asked herself for the nth time if she truly deserved it.

"You need some time, I understand. I don't want to push you Hermione, but I want you to know that I am here, and I am not leaving you. Even if you try to push me away, I will never stop loving you."

Slowly and hesitantly, one of Hermione's hands traveled up Severus's arm and shoulder. She then stopped and bit her lip.

Severus understood what she intended to do. She wanted to embrace him, but just couldn't. Since she couldn't meet him halfway, he made the extra effort. Once he pulled her into an embrace, instantly her arms wrapped around him. "I love you," he told her again. He knew that she wasn't ready to say the words yet again, but just wanted to remind her as much as he could, because he truly meant it. They were more than just three words. They were words that had true meaning.

Even though those words caused her pain and guilt, a very small part within her started to enjoy hearing them. With the talk that Severus gave to her about love, it penetrated her heart deep within, the place where she kept her love for him. It was tied up and held back with her guilt and depression. Only Severus had the ability to set it free. She hoped that he could do it soon. She didn't like the state in she was in.

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"Full?" Severus asked Hermione as he watched her swallow the last of her roast sandwich. The both of them were seated next to each other, on one side of the coffee table, right in front of the fireplace.

Hermione nodded and reached for her ginger ale. After a few gulps, she gave out a small belch, which made her slightly embarrassed as Severus chuckled. It wasn't very lady like and she never belched in front of him.

"I take that you're satisfied?" he laughed.

Hermione didn't answer but just bit her lip.

When Severus's laughing calmed he then asked, "Is there anything that you would like to do before you get ready for the new school year? We may have a few short days, but we can head to Italy, or wherever else you want."

"Don't you have to be at Hogwarts?" she asked.

Severus reached out for her hand and squeezed it. "Horace has been asked to take my place when I am unable to work. This is where I have to be Hermione. With you."

Italy sounded very tempting. "I don't want to go if you don't want to," she answered. She didn't want them to do things because she wanted them.

"What makes you think I don't want to?"

Hermione shrugged.

Severus reached out and put an arm around her, and pulled her to his chest. Maybe Italy wasn't a good idea. "Poppy talked to me earlier and told me that she has a doctor friend in a maternity clinic in muggle London. Since we cannot go and have ultrasounds in St. Mugo's, she suggested that we go there. Things will be kept confidential, and she can also use the ultrasounds to track our son's development. How about if we schedule for your first ultrasound?"

"I'd like that very much," Hermione answered as she wrapped her arms around his midsection, seeking his warmth.

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AN – Yes, depression sucks. Give Hermione time though, and let Severus help her through. I can't wait for the ultrasound appointment. Review!