I had a day off so here's an update!
Warning: Just when you think my stories couldn't get any more crack I go and write this chapter.
"Bachelorette Serah! A bachelor-rette!"
Serah looked up at Lightning from her desk at the after auction bachelor-bachelorette meet and greet. "Yeah. So?" She asked while thanking and accepting another cheque from a bidder.
Lightning waited for Serah's assistant to lead him to his bachelorette, looked around to check that no one was within earshot and leaned down to her sister. "I'm not a lesbian," she hissed quietly.
"You're not?" Serah questioned with a frown.
"No! What the hell gave you the idea that I was?"
"I dunno." Serah leaned on her arm and thoughtfully tapped the pen she was holding against her cheek. "You've never really had any boyfriends but then now I think about it you've had any girlfriends either. I just figured you were sexually fluid like I am. You know sexy is sexy," she shrugged looking back down at her paperwork.
"Well I'm not. And will you please stop saying sexy." Lightning said through her teeth. She was already incredibly uncomfortable, and she did not need the added discomfort of imaging that her little sister found anything sexy, ever.
Snow, just like Lightning, was not happy (which was an unusual feeling for the typically cheerful boxer). He had been anxiously searching everywhere for Serah (leaving the one place she was scheduled to be until last) and breathed out a sigh of relief once he spotted the younger Farron at her desk. He was so determined to speak to Serah that he barged into the sisters' conservation without an apology. "Serah," he said as soon as he reached the two Farrons, "I am not happy with my bachelorette."
Lightning turned slightly towards the blond and barked a humourless laugh, "join the line numbknut."
Snow's eyes widened in horror. "Did you get a mad one too?"
"No it...they were not what I was expecting," she explained, vaguely.
"Not what you expected? I'd kill for 'not what I was expecting'." He pointed a thumb at himself. "My bachelorette is off her god damn crazy tree. Did you hear what she was shouting at me when I was on stage?" They shared a look and shook their heads. The two sisters had been too busy arguing to listen to anything that happening on the stage. "I have never felt so degraded in my entire life. And the language she used." Snow shook his head in disbelief. He'd been brought up to believe that women were the fairer sex but it had only taken ten minutes on that stage to dispel that particular myth. "I can't go on a date with her, there's no telling what she might do. Because she threatened to do a lot of different things and most of it seemed impossible."
Right on cue, the double doors to the room suddenly burst open and all heads turned to see the redheaded figure who had made the dramatic entrance. The small woman dressed in a glamorous couture, strapless cream dress kept her hands on either door as she scanned the room.
"Where's my prize?" She growled, searching the faces of the bachelors and bachelorettes and stopped narrowing on Lightning's small group. Lightning's stomach dropped in fear as a small, disturbing smile lit the woman's face with delight.
"Oh maker it's her. She's found me." Snow whispered fearfully, ducking down to try and hide behind Lightning.
Thank Etro. Lightning breathed out in relief as the woman bypassed her, striding purposely towards her bachelor. For a second there she had thought the crazy maniac currently chasing Snow around Serah's table was her bachelorette. If that was Snow's bachelorette what is my bachelorette going to be like, she wondered watching the stranger expertly drive Snow away from the two sisters. What if she's worse?
One unhappy bachelor taken care of, or rather got rid of, just a bachelorette to go, Serah thought to herself.
"I'm sorry Lightning," Serah said bringing them back to their original conversation, "but I thought you knew that anyone can make a bid. We don't limit our auctions to heterosexual pairings."
"Well I didn't," Lightning huffed, turning to her sister and folding her arms. "We'll have to void the bid. I can't go on a date with a lesbian it would be misleading."
"For Etro's sake Lightning, it's just a date. She's not expecting to get a toaster oven at the end of it."
"A what?" Lightning frowned confused by the reference. "What's a toaster oven?" She was so busy wondering what it was, and how an appliance can toast and bake at the same time that she didn't even notice the approaching figure sidle up behind her.
"Hi," a friendly voice interrupted them from behind Lightning. "I think I may have just won you."
Won me! Won! me! Lightning's eyes narrowed and her jaw tightened. No-one wins Captain Lightning Farron. All her fears had been confirmed, her bachelorette was an arrogant, cocky imbecile. Bristled by the woman's audacity to treat her like a possession, Lightning span on the spot ready to give the bachelorette a piece of her mind or a smack and every thought and action just stopped.
Dressed in a skinny black tuxedo with matching, high heels was Lightning's brunette bachelorette.
And Lightning had never seen anyone like her in her entire life.
Dark wavy long hair framing a heart shaped face. Green, sparkling eyes, full pink lips and smooth olive skin - and with her open collar, bowtie loose around her neck and her sleeves pushed up her arms, the stranger was showing as much of that bronze skin as she could in a tux. There were plenty of women at the ball in trousers that Lightning hadn't spared a second glance, but this woman's disregard for the conventions of the formal attire, along with her hands in her pockets and smirk on her lips, gave the mysterious stranger a very unsettling, very captivating, roguish charm.
Consequently all thoughts and actions Lightning had planned while turning to face brunette came screeching to an abrupt halt and the soldier was left stunned and dumbfounded.
Luckily for Lightning Serah decided to intervene before her big sister's silent staring began to make her bachelorette uncomfortable. Partly to save her sister, and partly to make sure her bachelorette paid her bid before Lightning could scare her away. Although there was something about this woman (probably her amused grin) that told Serah she didn't scare too easily.
"Hello I'm Serah Farron organiser of the New Bodhum Charity ball," she introduced herself, standing to move around the table and shake the woman's hand. "I'd just like to thank you on behalf of the Edda Farron Memorial Foundation for your generous donation, Ms?"
"Fang, Oerba yun Fang," she said in a strange foreign accent, returning the friendly handshake. "No need to thank me. I'm lucky enough to have more money than I know what to do with it. Plus I'd much rather give it to you then leave it for my sister to spend. Hi I'm Fang," she said turning her attention back to the soldier. She held a hand out to the soldier and smiled as Lightning shook her hand after a moment's hesitation. "It's Lightning right?"
Lightning stared at the hand that was holding hers and felt a slightly disturbing tingling sensation travel from her hand and all the way up her arm. "Ermmm..." Fang looked at her expectantly as the soldier tried to remember her own name, her smile beginning to fade when Lightning remained stunned and speechless.
Serah decided to intervene, yet again. "Yun, as in Dia Yun Wild Adventure Holidays?"
"That's us," Fang confirmed releasing Lightning's hand. "My bond sister Oerba Dia Vanille is over there molesting the blond," she said pointing towards Snow's bachelorette. "She gets a bit handsy when she's drunk but don't worry, " she told Serah's worried frown as they watched the blushing blond try to remove the redhead's death grip from around his waist, "she's just teasing him about the French maid costume...at least I think she is." She said thoughtfully.
"So 26,000 for my bid and 8,250 for Vanille's blond right?" Fang asked turning her attention back to Serah. She took her check book out of her inside pocket. "How about we round it up to 40,000 with an extra 5,000 for good measure shall we."
"That is very generous thank you. For that price I'd consider letting you have my sister for two dates," Serah joked making Fang laugh.
"Really two dates with the lovely Captain Farron? I'd be a fool to say no. What do you say Lightning, think you put up with me for two dates?" Fang flashed another smile at the soldier before she leaned down onto the table to make out the cheque and fill in her contact details as Serah directed her.
The question remained unanswered, yet again.
As Fang bent over in front of her Lightning's eyes were immediately drawn downwards and stayed there. There was something so fascinating about it that she couldn't seem to look away. Maybe she was wondering who was Fang's tailor or maybe she was wondering whether Fang worked her glutes to achieve that perfect posterior. They were the only possible reasons why Lightning was still staring at Fang's backside because one thing was for sure... "I'm not gay!" Lightning suddenly blurted out loud, her sudden confession surprising herself and the two women standing with her. She looked up to find them both turning to look at her and the disapproval on Serah's face confirmed that she had definitely said that last part aloud.
Fang tilted her head questioningly. "Excuse me?" She asked with her hand on her hip.
"I thought that...I should warn you that I am not...a les-bian." Lightning's voice trailed off as Fang tilted her head back slightly and gave a rich throaty chuckle before Lighning had even finished her explanation.
That's okay." Fang smiled.
"Really?" Lightning frowned. It didn't feel okay.
"Yeah. I mean sure I'm disappointed, you're a very beautiful woman but it's just a date Lightning. I wasn't expecting anything beyond spending some time with you and perhaps making a friend at the end of it. So what d'ya say? I promise to be the perfect gentlewoman."
Lightning searched Fang's face for any hint that the woman was being insincere but she couldn't find any evidence that Fang was lying. It is for a good cause, Lightning considered weighing up the pros and cons of spending the day with the brunette, and it might be nice to make a new friend. She glanced past Fang at Serah.
Say yes, her sister mouthed with a firm stare.
"Alright," Lightning agreed and was surprised by the stirring satisfaction she felt when Fang's face lit up excitedly.
"Great." Fang clapped her hands and rubbed them together. "I'll try not to fall in love with ya."
Lightning's smile dropped. "What?"
Fang laughed, lifting her hand to give the woman's shoulder a friendly squeeze. "It was a joke mate don't look so worried," she reassured. "You really are adorable."
Lightning's frown deepened. "Adorable?" She questioned, looking at the hand on her shoulder. No-one had ever called her adorable before. Aggressive sure, austere no doubt, but adorable! And shouldn't I be doing something about the hand that that is still touching me? Isn't there something that I usually do in these situations.
"Yep. And a real hoot to boot."
"Hoot to boot?" Lightning repeated quietly. No-one had ever called her hoot either. What is a hoot? Why is she still touching me?
"Yeah you're hilarious." Fang smiled warmly at the soldier and the sight made her stomach clench disturbingly. "And by the way I like upgrading weapons too." She leaned down invading Lightning's personal space. "You should see my collection of lances," she whispered in Lightning's ear.
Lightning shivered as the woman's breath caressed her ear. What the hell is wrong with me? She wondered to herself. Sure she loved weapons but the mere mention of them doesn't tend to have this reaction. It was as if the stranger knew exactly what to say or do to keep her off balance. She didn't need to whisper in her ear that she collected lances because Lightning was sure the woman didn't consider it a secret. She didn't need to lightly trail her fingers from Lightning's shoulder to middle of her back, to balance herself as she leaned down because when she pulled back to smile at Lightning her fingers were still touching her. It was so light she could barely feel it through her thin dress but she knew if she looked over her shoulder the brunette's hand would still be there.
Lightning realised that Fang's entire approach had been subtle but evidently effective. As if Fang had been dealing with a wild animal she had openly but cautiously moved closer to the soldier all the while maintaining her friendly, reassuring manner. It had kept Lightning calm but unsure, thereby preventing the soldier from gathering enough coherence to revert to one of her extremes; violence or the cool, indifferent disposition that she was oh so very good at. A testing touch, a little tease, a little closer, until Fang was well and truly invading Lightning's personal space and Lightning had unknowingly let her.
Lightning's posture stiffened and the back muscles jumped underneath the woman's touch. If Fang had noticed she didn't say anything, but the mischievous glint in the woman's emerald eyes told the soldier that she knew was in for a lot of trouble.
Snow's manly squeal drew the brunette's attention away from the captivating pinkette to find that her playful counterpart had backed the large boxer against a table and pushed up his shirt to blow raspberries on his six pack. The entire room watched in amusement as Snow tried to fend off the redhead by pushing his shirt down and detaching the giggling maniac. But in response she'd just blow on his stomach again causing the large man to helplessly collapse into another fit of surprisingly high pitched giggles.
"Whoops," Fang commented remembering that she was supposed to be keeping an eye on her inebriated sister not being distracted by pretty pink-haired soldiers. "Better step in and take her home before she does something tabloid worthy. Good night ladies. See ya later Lightning looking forward to our mate-date, mate," she winked at the older sister and turned to leave.
A lot of people would be envious of her position, Lightning mused, watching the woman slowly saunter away. You didn't need to be gay or a guy to see that Fang was stunningly beautiful. She knew it too by the swagger in her hips - Lightning would have found it arrogant if it wasn't honest. And she really did look good in that tux. Her eyes moved from Fang's hips, trailing up the brunette's athletic figure to find the woman glancing back at her over a shoulder.
A knowing smile crept onto the brunette's lips.
Lightning's eyes widened and she desperately tried to school her features into something a little less guilty. No, no, no, her mind screamed at Fang, you don't know! Don't look like you know cause you don't know. I wasn't ogling I was just appreciating. And just because a woman appreciates another woman's beauty doesn't make her gay it just makes her...very...respectful of their beauty. Yeah I'm respectful...and-and observant. I'm just very observant. Reassuring herself that she was in no way being a pervert she scowled at the beautiful woman and turned away from the knowing smile only to find an equally irritating one on her sister's lips.
"I don't know what you're grinning at I'm still mad at you."
"What! Why? I just got you a date with the sexiest multimillionairess in Pulse, you should be thanking me!" She had witnessed the two woman's flirtatious exchange (or rather Lightning's reaction to Fang's flirting) and as far as she could tell her sister should he thanking her on bended knee.
"I know about Beverley."
"Oh. Crap."
xxXOXxx
Serah's knees and back ached. She paused for a moment to wipe the sweat from her brow and then leaned back over onto the floor. When Lightning had passed sentence on her little sister for her little deception, Serah had thought that she had got off pretty lightly. Ceaning all the floors in their already immaculate house would be quick and easy. At least she thought it would be until Lightning handed her a bucket and her own toothbrush.
She had been on her knees for hours.
"I still don't see the point of making me clean all the floors," Serah grumbled at her sister sitting at their kitchen Island, "they were already clean when I started."
Lightning folded down a corner of the magazine she was reading to look at her red faced, irritated sister. She couldn't understand why Serah was so surprised, it seemed a pretty appropriate punishment for a soldier to devise. "The futility of the task makes it feel more like a punishment. I don't want to give you a sense of achievement," Lightning explained, hiding her smile back behind the magazine. Serah swore under her breath before taking her anger out on the floor, furiously brushing at the pearly white tiles.
It had been almost a week since the ball and the sisters had been so busy at their respective jobs that this was the first morning they'd been able to spend together. Lightning had taken the opportunity to give Serah her punishment for deceiving her and Serah had given Lightning research, dumping a huge pile of magazines in front of the soldier.
Typically Lightning would have stubbornly refused to do her homework, especially as she had little to no interest in celebrities or the social élite. But these particular magazines held clues to the mysterious brunette bachelorette.
Spreading one of the many magazines Serah had bought her on the kitchen counter, Lightning took another sip of her coffee while she scanned the article entitled 'The entrepreneurs with their finger on the Pulse' (quite possibly the worst title she had read so far). According to the article Fang and Vanille had made their money by setting up a travel company that hosted holidays in Gran Pulse for its new inhabitants. Their enterprising idea didn't just corner the market, they created an entire new one. No one had even considered that the former Cocoonians would want to explore their new world but the demand for their holidays was so high that they made their first million in just over a year. Since their success many identical companies had popped up to try and get in on the new market but Dia Yun Wild Adventure holidays still promised the best and most exclusive holidays in Gran Pulse. And going by their excellent independent reviews it wasn't just bravado. Safaris, mountain climbing, white water rafting, if you wanted an adventure or just a relaxing escape they would provide it and in the most beautiful places on Pulse.
"Her sister and her have been in almost every magazine and on every 'who's who' list since they made their first million two years ago," Serah commented looking up from the floor. "I'm surprised you haven't heard of them."
"Well unlike you I don't pursue the magazines looking for my next victim...sorry," Lightning corrected with a small smile, "I meant charity benefactor," knowingly full well that the only reason Serah had any interest in the business pages was for her charity. It hadn't surprised Lightning in the slightest when Serah revealed that she had pretended not to know who Fang and Vanille were at the ball, her little sister knew everyone in Gran Pulse who was worth extorting money from.
Serah threw the dirty toothbrush at her smirking sister who dodged it effortlessly without even looking. She stood up with a grimace, rubbing her aching back as she leaned down on the kitchen Island to look at the largest photo of Fang and Vanille in the article Lightning was reading. In the image the two women were both dressed in smart suits standing in front of their business logo. Obviously the photographer was aiming for the atypical dynamic shot of the two young entrepreneurs, and they would have both looked very sophisticated too if Fang hadn't ignored their direction, captured Vanille in a headlock and appeared to be in the process of giving her little sister a noogie while laughing straight into the camera.
"So when is your date with the dashing bachelorette?"
"Ermmm date?"
Serah sighed. "Please tell me you've called her to arrange your date?"
"Ermmmm..."
"Lightning," Serah chastised, "its been a week!"
"I've been busy." Lightning said defensively. She didn't want to admit it, even to herself, but she was nervous about speaking to Fang again and luckily the opportunity to work a lot of overtime gave her the perfect excuse not to call her. Why she was avoiding the brunette Lightning wasn't really sure.
"Well you're not busy now," Serah pointed out picking up Lightning's phone from the counter. "Call her," Serah instructed holding it out to the soldier but instead Lightning folded her arms and looked away. "I swear to Etro Lightning," Serah growled. "you better not screw this up for me."
Lightning's eyes darted back to her sister. "For you!" She said in astonishment. "What the hell has it got to do with you?"
"Fang and Vanille are filthy rich," Serah reasoned, "if they made regular donations to our charity we could make a huge amount of money. Plus they are so hot right now that if they just agreed to become patrons of our charity it would bring in a huge influx of donations. Just think of all the money the charity could make," Serah said dreamily, her eyes already glazing over at the prospect of all the good she could do. "So yes, be on your best behaviour and play nice."
"Oh so no pressure or anything," Lightning muttered sarcastically while Serah played with her phone.
"Look," Serah said turning the lit up phone towards Lightning, "I've found her contact details in your phone and I've already pressed call."
"Serah!" Lightning gasped, snatching the phone from her and quickly putting it to her ear. It was ringing! "One of these days I am going to kill you," Lightning growled but Serah seemed unimpressed by her murderous expression and just smiled sweetly at her sister.
"Can I go now?"
"Yeah, yeah," Lightning agreed, frantically ushering Serah out of the kitchen before Fang could answer the phone. If she was going to do this she was going to do it in private. Serah squealed happily, telling her sister she was off to see some friends and buy a new toothbrush just as she was pushed her out of the door.
Lightning paced the kitchen floor. The longer she waited for Fang to pick up her phone, the more anxious she was becoming. What if she doesn't answer? What if she does answer? What if she doesn't remember who I am? She probably gets asked for her number all the time. She cleared her throat. What should I say? Hey there...no. Hey, hey, hey...no. Hello this is Captain Lightning Farron...no. Moshi moshi Fang-san...nooooo! Lightning began nervously nibbling at a fingernail and wished she had rehearsed or something because she was not prepared for-
"WHAT?" A loud voice suddenly snapped at Lightning down the phone line causing her to jerk the phone away from her head to protect her hearing. She frowned at the phone slightly taken aback by the unexpected angry reception and put it back to her ear.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said hesitantly, "is this the correct number for Oerba yun Fang?"
"Lightning?" Realising it was the soldier the woman's tone changed from hostel to friendly and Lightning immediately recognised the brunette's voice."Lightning hi."
"Have I called at a bad time? Should I-"
"Nononono don't hang up. I've been waiting for you to call me all week."
"Oh." Lightning simply said, unsure how she should respond to such information.
"I'm sorry for the...rude greeting. I thought you were someone else."
"Bad day?"
"The worst," Fang sighed clearly exasperated by who ever was bothering her. "But I think its just started getting better," she added in a low tone. Lightning could hear the smile on Fang's lips and wondered whether the brunette knew she could make her blush without even being in the same room.
"So...about our...date."
"Mate-date." Fang immediately corrected.
"Yes mate-date." Lightning rolled her eyes but couldn't stop herself from smiling at Fang's tease over the agreed conditions of their date. "I was wondering if there is anything in particular you would like to do."
"Well to be honest I have no idea what New Bodhum has to offer. My sister and I only moved here a couple of weeks ago and I haven't had a chance to explore our new city. "
"Would you like me to give you a tour? I can show you all the best spots only a local would know?"
"As long as its nothing fancy I would like that a lot."
AN: So fierce, love carnival it is. Thank you to those of you who left suggestions. I was in two minds where this story could go.
And it's not going to be a Snow x Vanille story she really is just teasing and having some fun. A reviewer suggested that Hope should have been in the auction and Vanille should have won him instead. I must say that is a super cute idea and I really wish I'd thought of that as I do like Vanille x Hope but unfortunately my brain had other ideas. Blame my brain people, blame my brain.
Fang's tux is based on Angelina Jolie's at the Baftas. I'm not a fan but holy moley she looked beautiful, and I love a woman in a tuxedo.
Oh and no arguments about the auction price difference between Snow and Lightning. Its Lightning Farron people...LIGHTNING FARRON! Have you seen her? I mean Snow's okay if you're into that sort of thing but LIGHTNING!...FARRON!
Anyhoo hope you liked it. Reviews and suggestions are appreciated. They feed my weak and failing self-esteem.