I didn't sleep much that night; I had too much on my mind. No one was awake yet, so I tried to be quiet. I got dressed and fixed my hair so it wasn't such a mess. Jax didn't budge, I smiled looking over him; sleeping like a fucking child.
I crept quietly down the hall and into the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee. The clubhouse was a mess but the crow eaterr would take care of that once they woke up. I leaned against the kitchen counter, pouring myself a cup of black coffee. I sipped the hot drink, thinking about last night and the past, fuck, 30 years of my life.
Most of those memories included Jaxon Teller and the love I had for him. But love and compatibility were two very different things; sometimes love wasn't enough. Time and time again it proved to be correct, seeing as we always fell away from each other; but we found each other again, every single time.
I peered over my coffee cup, seeing her like a ghost; Wendy. I dropped my cup, shattering it and coffee going everywhere.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" she shot at me, nearly running across the room and getting in my face.
"The better question is what the fuck are you doing here?" I spat back at her; it wasn't the better question. I had been gone for 15 years, neither of us should have been here.
"Huh-uh honey." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You left, too. Or did you forget that?" The last time I spoke to her I was more than awful; I deserved everything she was going to spew at me. But she deserved everything, too. What she did to Abel.. ABEL. Fuck.
"Why are you here, Wendy?"
She chuckled, kicking a broken piece of glass from my coffee mug across the room. I sighed. "Why don't you ask the cock that was inside of me three nights ago? You know, the one that was in you last night?" She gave me a grin fit for a cunt just like her. I wanted to break down, but I didn't. It wasn't worth it.
I saved that for five minutes later.
"Morning Ma," I looked up to see my son; her son. She spun around, looking him up and down, all over. It was silent for a minute. "Everything okay?" he asked.
"Abel?" Wendy questioned, her tone softer and more feeble. He raised an eyebrow to her.
"Do I know you?"
And I lost it. I couldn't do this, I wouldn't do this. I left the coffee mess right where it was on the floor and ran out the back door, having a panic attack. I couldn't catch my breath and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I leaned against the building, tears falling from my eyes like rain drops. I turned around, leaning my back against the building, sliding down it to the ground. I was crying so hard; I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, I couldn't barely hear the oor opening when someone came out; It was Chibs.
"What's going on?" he came over and sat down next to me.
"Wendy." Was all I got out. He fell silent, getting back up and walking inside.
I sat out there for what felt like forever until I could compose myself enough to go back inside. There was no sign on Wendy, but Jax was awake and having a cup of coffee with Abel and Nova.
"Where's Alex?" I asked. Jax hopped out of his chair and came running over to me, whispering close.
"I'm so sorry about tha-"
"Don't." And I walked past him, over to our children.
"She's in the bathroom, just woke up a little bit ago. She's in rough shape." Abel and Nova both chuckled at their baby sisters hangover. I sighed, shaking my head. They were just a bunch of bullies.
"So you had a fun night." Nova commented at me with a tone. I smacked the back of her shoulder. "What?" she shot at me, turning her nose up.
"You know what?" I walked behind the bar and grabbed my purse from where I left it the night before, pulling my keys out and a cigarette, lighting it. "You do what you want, act how you want. I'm spending my time here with people who matter and actually give a shit about and respect me." I stormed out of the club house, letting the door slam behind me. I hopped in my car and sped off, heading over to Amandas house.
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THIRD PERSON POV
Logan stormed off out of the clubhouse, leaving her children and husband (ex-husband?) speechless.
"What the fuck is her problem?" Nova shouted, pointing at the door.
For the first time in 15 years Jax spoke up, acting like a father.
"I really hope this isn't how you've talked to your mother these past 15 years. She's been through a lot; more than any of you kids know or will ever understand. The things she needs the least right now is her kids ganging up on her when the whole world already does." Jax shook his head, kicking the bottom of the bar and then turning to head back to his dorm room to shower and get dressed for the day.
Alex exited the bathroom, wiping her mouth from vomitting. She had a hangover from hell with a migraine to match; luckily she found some Tylenol in the bathroom cupboard, throwing back 1000mg as soon as she get the bottle open.
"I thought I heard Mom. Where'd she go?" Nova and Abel were both silent, barely even acknowledging her existance. "Hello? I asked a fucking question." Nova spun around, eyeing her sister up with a deep glare.
"She went back to Amandas. Maybe you should too." Nova always had a way of getting on her sisters nerves, and Alex always had a way of blowing up at her when she did.
"You know, we've been here for 24 hours and you've seemed to literally make this entire trip about you. Newsflash, Nova Rae, it's fucking NOT just about you." Nova hopped off her chair, walking close to her sister and getting face-to-face with her, their noses nearly touching.
"Yeah, I do fucking know that, Alexis Jade. But I also fucking know that you ain't got shit to be upset over or to try and get closure with. You don't even fucking remember Dad, or Mom when she was here for that matter. You know absolutely nothing. So, yeah. Maybe this trip isn't just for me, but it's sure as hell not for you. And I guess after Mom got her little fix from Dad last night, it's not for her anymore either. All she gives a fuck about is herself and her sex; she's a biker whore." And Alex lost it.
Her sister wasn't going to say those things about her and she sure as fuck wasn't going to say them about their mother. Alex reacted, grabbing the back of Novas head, holding her hair tight, pulling her down to the ground. Nova responded with the same move, having a harder time get ahold of her sisters dreadlocks. Nova begin slapping Alex in the side of the face, knocking one of her gauges out of her ear. In a quick move Alex pulled Nova all the way to the ground, pinning her down and sitting on top of her. She slapped her across the face a couple times, and just when she got one good hit in her brother and father were running over, putting things to an end.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jax yelled, pulling a squirming Alex still trying to hit off of her sister. Abel helped Nova sit up, who looked far from happy. She had a little cut under her eyes from where Alex had punched her, probably from the fox ring she wore of her index finger. "I am gonna say this one time; I realize my parenting has lacked a whole hell of a lot in your lives, but I'm gonna start right now with this. Nova, you don't get to tell your sister she isn't upset. You think because she doesn't remember me she doesn't get to be upset? I think she has more reason to be upset than you; at least you and Abel remember time with me, the good times. She doesn't have any of that. I have a lot of catching up to do with all of you and a lot of things we should talk about, but you don't get to treat each other like this, and you don't get to treat your mother like that." He walked over closer to Nova who was now sitting in a chair, pressing a wet rag Abel got her to her face. "If I ever hear you say anything like that about your mother again.. I promise you are not too old for me to bend you over my knee and beat your ass like a child; that woman is stronger and has done more than anyone I know in this whole world. I went to jail for you guys, yeah. But it was for her too. And she still got the short end of the stick; I just had to sit in prison for 15 years. She had to raise and support three kids on her own, and that can't be easy. You don't know half of what you think you do, half of the sacrafices she had made for this fucking family, so don't act like you do. 20 or 2, you are our daughter and you will act respectful." He stormed off back into the kitchen, returning with a frozen bag of peas. "Here." He tossed them to Nova and she held them over her eye, still silent; she didn't do well with being yelled at.
Jax walked over to Alex, who was sitting silent in a chair, facing a wall.
"And you?" he sat down in a chair next to her turning it so she could see him in her side-vision. "That's not how you handle your anger; believe me. You don't hurt family like that, you can't go around hitting people everytime you're mad." His mothers words echoed in his head, the words of wisdom she gave him everytime he got into a fist fight. He chuckled. "Fuck." Alex turned to him, eyes questioning. "Don't worry, kid. You'll wake up oneday and realize you're your mother, and everything she ever told you was right." he laughed again. "Fuck." he got out once more.
"Can we change the subject?" Abel asked, over hearing his sisters getting yelled at for acting like two children instead of full-grown adults. They were really becoming a headache for him.
Jax nodded, standing up and grabbing his kutte back up from the bar, slipping it on over his white t-shirt. "I like that idea." Jax looked to his daughters, who both nodded at him. "I figured your mom could use some alone time to cool off and think about some things right now. I thought I could take you guys to a few places I think are important." But Logan Teller would not agree with that; Abel didn't remember his baby brother, thank god, and Nova was way to young to either when it happened. It was an event they decided to leave in the past a long time ago; but Jax decided different that day.
He wasn't going to spend this time making himself look good to his children, or making up lost time. He was going to enjoy the time he had with them and the relationships he was beginning to have, but he wanted to spend this time showing them their mother; the strong woman she really was, and the horrible shit the club brought upon them.
His goal for this two week visit was to ultimately do what he set out to do 15 years ago; get them away from this place, make them hate him and Charming, and for them to never look back. This place was and always would be nothing but darkness and trouble, something he didn't want for his children; a life he could and would still keep them from.
He decided a good place to start was with the cemetary; take care of some of the sad shit before he had to get into the hard shit; like being honest with his son for the first time in his life. As much as Logan never ever wanted him to know she wasn't his biologically mother, he deserved to know. He was 22, it was time to tell the truth.
"You guys go back to Amandas and get changed and shit and I'll meet you there in my car and then we can go where I have planned."
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Logans POV
I sat at the table with Amanda, chuckling over our coffee and blunt as we looked through the old photo albums. I had left them in the garage in a box the night I left here, and when her and Opie cleaned everything out she kept them for me just incase I came back or Jax wanted them.
God, the good old days.
"Oh my gosh look," We had just opened the second one, a little newer than the previous one that was from our high school years. This one was from right around the time I had come home. Amanda laid her finger on a picture of my, Donna and Opie from the first day I came home, Opie holding Toby on his side and Donna very very pregnant with Raven. "She was so beautiful." she commented on Opies first wife. Yeah, she was. And a hell of a person. I fucking missed her, so much.
I saw a picture of myself and Gemma next, seeing a nightmare in the background.
"God, she looks awful. Not that she looks much better now." Amanda chuckled, sipping her coffee. "I don't like her at all. She rolled into town about 6 months ago and they've let her do some bartending and cleaning for them. She's a fucking bitch." And that was the truth. "Abel doesn't know, does he?" I shook my head when the door opened.
"Abel doesn't know what?" my son questioned, walking through the door with his sistesr behind him.
I quickly flipped the page, luckily a picture of him from the day he was born pasted to the page.
"How little you were when you were born." I pointed at a picture in the photo album. "You came really early, so you were just a little guy." He glanced at the picture and then headed up to one of the bedrooms, the girls behind him.
I let out a big breath of air, relieved that that didn't head south. I didn't want him to know the truth; not yet. A 22-year-old lie was a big one, one I wasn't sure he was ready for just yet. God, this place brought nothing but drama and crazy that I wasn't ready to handle. What have you gotten yourself into this time, Logan Teller?
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A/N- Hey guys, the hubby and I are going to be heading down to Florida early tomorrow morning for vacation for 10 days, so I won't really be writing or updating while we are there, unless I happen to get an unreal amount of reviews, than I just might. I promise as soon as I get back I'll bust my ass to post an update for all of you though no matter what. Keep the reviews coming, I love the feedback! Bad reviews are good, good reviews are better. I love you all!
Wish us luck that Nova's first long-trip goes well! We will be driving for 16 hours! Also let's hope she loves the beach as much as her momma and poppa! I'm SO excited!
-Arri Mason