CHAPTER TWO

"She's pregnant," a subdued voice said when Hutch picked up the phone. "The baby's due in August…right around your birthday, Blondie. How about that?" Although Starsky was obviously trying hard to sound enthusiastic, it was apparent that he was unsettled by the news.

"Is Jessica still there?"

"No, she left," Starsky said "She said she figured that we both needed some time alone."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Naw, you don't have to. I'm a big boy. I'll be okay." Despite Starsky's denial, Hutch could hear the despondent timbre in his friend's voice.

"Put on some coffee," Hutch said firmly. "I'll be there in thirty." He put the receiver back on the cradle before Starsky could protest.

True to his word, Hutch arrived at his partner's apartment thirty minutes later, bearing a large deluxe pizza and a six pack of beer. Starsky's eyes lit up at the sight of the food in his partner's hands as his stomach growled hungrily reminding him that he'd been too distracted to eat all day. That was indeed unusual for the typically ravenous brunet and a good indication of his state of mind.

Starsky opened two beers, passing one to Hutch and keeping one. He settled down on the sofa and helped himself to slice of pizza, cramming the hot, spicy pie in his mouth.

"So, did you and Jessica get a chance to talk about what you're going to do now?" Hutch asked as he took a much smaller bite of his own slice.

"A little," Starsky admitted around another huge bite of pizza. "She wants to keep the baby." He lowered his eyes to avoid looking at his partner as he added in a softer tone, "And she wants to get married."

"What did you tell her?"

"That we'd talk about it more later." He raised his eyes to look at his partner beseechingly. "I can't just turn my back on her, Hutch."

"I know that, pal. Nobody expects you to."

"I told her that even if we got married everybody would know that it was because we had to, not because I asked her to."

"What did she say to that?"

"She said she didn't care. She knows I don't love her, but she still expects me to do the right thing like I promised."

"That doesn't mean that you have to marry her," Hutch said, repeating the same guidance he had given Starsky earlier. "You can still do the right thing by her without doing that."

"I know. Maybe we can come to some kind of compromise that we can both live with."

"Do you really think that Jessica is going to want to compromise? Or is she going to force you into a loveless marriage that will make both of you miserable?"

"We could learn to love each other…for the baby's sake," Starsky said in a voice that sounded as if he was trying to convince himself of that as well as Hutch.

"You'd both end up hating each other, trapped in a marriage for all the wrong reasons. And the baby would grow up knowing it. Believe me, buddy, I know. I grew up listening to my parents fighting when they thought I was asleep. My dad used to scream at my mom and tell her that he would never have married her if she hadn't been pregnant with me. And she'd scream back that he ruined her life and destroyed all of her dreams."

"You never told me that," Starsky said in a mildly surprised voice. He knew that Hutch didn't have a good relationship with his parents, but Hutch had never said why.

"It's not exactly the kind of thing you go around advertising," Hutch said with a bitter smile. "I always used to think that I was the reason my parents couldn't get along." He looked at his best friend somberly. "I don't want to see you forced into that kind of marriage, buddy."

"It wouldn't have to be like that with me and Jessica," Starsky said, feeling the need to defend his absent girlfriend. "She's scared. She's afraid that I'll run out on her."

"Then she doesn't know you like I do. I know you'd never do that."

"I think that's why she wants to get married so bad…so she can be sure of that."

"Getting married won't stop you from leaving if you want to," Hutch said pointedly, remembering his own desperately unhappy and failed marriage to Vanessa. "When you get right down to it, marriage is just a piece of paper, a legal agreement between two people that gives each of them certain rights."

"This is one decision I have to make on my own, pal," Starsky reminded him with a thin smile. "You can't hold my hand and tell me what to do."

"I already told you, I'll stand by you no matter what you decide." Hutch smiled fondly and deftly changed the subject. "Eat your pizza before it gets cold. You don't have to make any decisions tonight."

Starsky picked up the last piece of pizza, but didn't eat it immediately. In a hesitant voice, he said, "You don't like Jessica very much, do you?"

"It's not that I don't like her," Hutch replied, choosing his words carefully. "It's just that I don't think she likes me that much. I think if she had her way, she'd keep you all to herself."

"That ain't gonna happen," Starsky told him firmly, smiling at his best friend warmly. "She wouldn't be the first girlfriend, yours or mine, that's tried to break us up, and none of them have succeeded yet."

"Yeah, but none of them were pregnant, either." Hutch said, immediately regretting his choice of words when he saw the hurt that crossed Starsky's face. Instantly, he began to apologize. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Yes, you did," Starsky said with a heavy sigh. "And you're right…none of them have been pregnant before. But, I'm not going to let that change anything. No matter what Jessica thinks."

"A baby always changes things, partner. That's just a fact of life. Even if you don't marry Jessica, you're still going to be a part of that baby's life, and that's the way it should be."

"We're both going to be a part of this baby's life," Starsky said firmly. "You're gonna be Uncle Hutch."

Hutch laughed softly, the tension in the air broken. "Uncle Hutch, huh? Well, just don't expect me to change any dirty diapers. I'll leave that little chore to you."

"Gee, thanks. I thought this partnership was fifty-fifty."

"Not when it comes to changing diapers."

Both men broke into laughter at the image of either one of them changing a baby's diaper. Although both of them liked children, neither one of them had any experience to speak of with infants. Hutch was an only child and Starsky had only been five when his younger brother, Nicky, was born. All he could remember was feeling jealous because Nicky got all the attention. All he did was cry all the time and smelled funny a lot. Even with his large extended family back in New York, Starsky had never paid much attention to all the infants. They were no fun. He couldn't play with them like he could his older cousins.

By the time Hutch decided to go home, Starsky was feeling better, even though he knew that he still had some life altering decisions to make very soon. He had always planned on getting married someday. The closest he had come was with Terry but she had turned down his proposal because it was made after they learned that she was going to die.

Starsky had been taught, both by his parents and by his religious background, that marriage was a sacred event, blessed by god. It was not something to be entered into lightly. And, once you made that commitment, it was for life. Even after his father died, Starsky's mother had never dated another man or remarried. She still wore her wedding band and cherished her memories of Michael Starsky. That was the kind of marriage that Starsky had always envisioned for himself and that was not the sort of marriage that he saw himself having with Jessica.