Forewords
This is the point where the plotlines will escalate into something few would imagine could ever happen in the world of Team Fortress 2.
Turn back, ye who seeks out fun and comedy here.
With that done, let's get back to the story proper...
Chapter 6: Newly Established Warpath
Time: 2330 Hour; 1st of July, 2015.
Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.
With the Carrier Aircraft currently landed in the middle of a pine forest and its engines turned off, the surrounding environment is completely silent save for the occasional hooting of owls.
Inside the Bridge of the Carrier Airship, the Mann Of Conspiracy can be seen looking at a series of videos and images that are displayed on holographic screens. One of these videos showed a Capture The Flag game that took place in 2Fort, with "Reliable Excavation and Demolition" printed in red texts on one of the forts being replaced with "Newly Established Warpath" in black blocky texts. In said video, NEW Team is shown on the scoreboard to have won the game 42-0 against BLU Team.
"So, Mr. Conspiracy..." The black-clad Sniper broke the silence. "It seems that Painis Cupcake has been defeated, and the REDs are holding him prisoner..."
"I know." Was the Mann Of Conspiracy's answer.
"What will you do about it?" The jet-black Sniper asked again. "If the REDs learns anything about you from him, your plans will be flowing down the drain."
"I know that too. And I will not have my revenge against them be foiled so soon..." The Mann answers again. "Which is why I'm sending you and your... other friends to go retrieve Painis Cupcake..."
The jet-black Sniper smiled creepily upon hearing that. "It's like Christmas morning..."
...
Time: 2345 Hour.
Location: Storage Shed, Gravel Outpost.
The Storage Shed of Gravel Outpost tripled as a storage shed, gym and of all things, a bedroom which the REDs and FREDs slept in.
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" Soldier can be heard sleep-talking to himself.
"Sandvich makez me stronk..." So is Heavy.
Scout is somehow able to juggle four baseballs at the same time while sleep-working, without dropping a single ball.
Engineer has a Sentry Gun next to his bunk bed just in case there's an intruder or assassin. The Sentry Gun scanned the Storage Shed over and over silently.
All of the REDs and FREDs are sleeping in their bunk beds in the Storage Shed, except for Fem-Soldier, who is standing guard by the basement entrance just outside the Storage Shed.
"For three years we have been hunting for that Cupcake Freak! And when we've finally caught the sonova-bitch, everyone else decides that it's a good idea to let me stand guard by myself!" Fem-Soldier mumbled to herself.
Fem-Soldier looked around the compounds of Gravel Outpost. Nothing seemed different from here.
"Next time they wake up, I'm gonna make all of them do a hundred push-ups while running around this compound on all-fours at the same time!" The female war veteran continued her mumbling. "And then I'll herd them all onto a boat, and beat the crap out of every single one!"
The sound of a shrub rustling can be heard coming from somewhere. Fem-Soldier was quick to grab hold of and aim her Direct Hit at the source of the sound, and fires.
Turns out that sound really did come from a shrub. The rocket flew over it and exploded against a solid wall.
"Must be one of those squirrels again..." Fem-Soldier told herself, and then puts the Direct Hit away.
As Fem-Soldier continued to stand guard over the basement entrance, she failed to notice that the same shrub appears to be moving on its own. The female war veteran remain oblivious to the moving shrub until it brushed past her feet. Only then did she notice something strange about this shrub.
"This is no squirrel..." Fem-Soldier told herself suspiciously. She leaned down to inspect the shrub...
...Only to suddenly drop dead on the ground, with a Huntsman arrow right through her head.
Christian Brutal Sniper shot FRED Soldier in the head with his Huntsman.
In that instance, the alarm is raised all over the Gravel Outpost compound, and all of the mercenaries are jolted from their sleep.
"Darn!" Engineer cursed. "I've wired our security systems to our Respawn Module so that the alarm will be raised when one of us has been killed!"
"Which means we have an intruder!" Fem-Engineer continues the sentence.
"Intruder alert! Unknown enemy is in the Basement!" The security system announced in The Administrator's voice.
In that instance, everyone dropped their jaws in realization.
"That intruder's gonna release that Painis Freak!" Scout exclaims.
"Then we have to stop him!" Soldier said, as he grabs his Shotgun. "Painis Cupcake is our only source of information about NEW Team and their boss!"
...
Location: Basement, Gravel Outpost.
Painis Cupcake, still restrained on the same chair in the middle of the Basement, just sat there with no attempts whatsoever to free himself. It's hard to tell if he's sleeping or wide awake.
KABOOM!
A loud explosion jolted the cannibal Freak to full consciousness, as he looked at the direction of the entrance.
The basement entrance has been blown open, and burning splinters laid near it, as a black-clad figure approached Painis slowly.
Painis could not identify the figure, but as he got closer, the cannibalistic Freak is surprised to see who it was.
"Christian?! What'cha doing here?!"
Christian Brutal Sniper simply summoned a Bushwacka from thin air, and chopped the restrains off Painis. "Rescuing you, of course. And let me tell you, mate, that the Mann is not very happy about your capture..."
Painis stood up, rubbed his wrists, and thought for a while. "So I guess I cannot go back to him anymore..."
The REDs and FREDs arriving and firing a barrage at the two Freaks snapped Painis out of his thoughts.
"And I know just where to hide you, mate." Christian said, before he threw a huge bundle of NEW Team-black Sticky Bombs at the wall behind Painis.
The bundle of Stickies adheres to the wall just as the REDs and FREDs, blocked off the Freaks' path to the basement entrance.
"This is just the beginning of the pain we will cause you..." Fem-Heavy taunted the Freaks.
"You're not going anywhere, chucklenuts!" Fem-Scout adds to the taunt.
Christian Brutal Sniper did not surrender. Instead, he pulled out what appears to be the snapped-off holster of a Stickybomb Launcher.
"G'day, mates." Christian quipped, before he pressed a small button on the snapped-off holster.
Said button was the button that detonates deployed Sticky Bombs, and that's exactly what it did.
The bundle of Stickies exploded in a huge fireball that knocked the REDs and FREDs off their feet. When the mercenaries recovered, they find a huge hole in the place of the wall it should have been, in which Painis and Christian jumped out of.
"Um... Piss..." Fem-Sniper deadpans at the sight while looking out of the hole. "Should've prepared ourselves for that wanker, Christian Brutal Sniper..."
Soldier threw himself out of the hole, and went after the escaping Freaks into the mountainside forest furiously.
Scout tries to follow the WW2 veteran, but was stopped by Fem-Soldier who had just arrived after respawning.
"Let him go after them..." The female veteran told the Bostonian batter. "As much as I want to keep Painis Cupcake as my prisoner, Solly's going after those two Freaks for personal reasons..."
...
Location: Mountainside forest near Gravel Outpost.
Soldier continued to pursue Painis and Christian through the thick pine forest that surrounded the Gravel Outpost, while firing his Rocket Launcher at the escaping Freaks. Painis's shotgun-clicking noise with each move he makes is annoying Soldier, but he tries to ignore it the best he could.
"I'm not gonna let you get away, cannibal!" Soldier called out furiously. "Not yet!"
Soldier fires a rocket that struck Painis right in the back of his head. But the explosion didn't hurt the cannibal Freak much, or made him flinch, as he and Christian continued running through the forest.
As the chase lasted several minutes, the two runners and their chaser soon came to a clearing in the middle of the forest. A camper van similar to Sniper's is parked in the middle of the clearing.
Soldier knew the purpose of that camper van, and aimed his Rocket Launcher at it. Unfortunately for him, there are no more rockets left in reserve. Furiously throwing the RPG away, the WW2 veteran took out his Shotgun and fired shots after shots at his target. "Stop right there, criminal scum!"
Painis Cupcake and Christian Brutal Sniper stopped running, and stood directly next to the camper van.
Painis slowly turned around to face Soldier. "Here's something you might want to know: the NEW Team's next game will be taking place at Gorge tomorrow noon..." The cannibal said, before he and Christian jumped backwards onto the roof of the camper van.
"Floor it, Spyper!" Christian shouted toward the inside of the vehicle.
As that is said, the camper van suddenly started to... fly? Soldier couldn't believe his eyes, but he still won't let Painis get away, if it means loosing all trails of the Mann Of Conspiracy in the process. The WW2 veteran unloaded shots after shots from his Shotgun at the flying camper van, with no success to his efforts. By the time the Shotgun runs dry, the flying camper van has already gone over the mountain pass and out of reach.
Furious that his only lead on NEW Team has escaped, Soldier threw his Shotgun on the ground so hard it broke in half. As he crouched down and starts punching the soil to vent off his steam, he noticed that Painis's Mercenary Badge was left where the cannibal Freak stood seconds ago. Soldier went and picked up the Mercenary Badge, which he dusts off with his fingers.
He turns the Badge on his back, and found a photo attached there via duct tape. The photo is of someone whose face is obscured by its extremely poor quality, but Soldier can tell straight away that the man on it isn't of any class, RED nor NEW.
"The Mann Of Conspiracy..."
...
Time: 0100 Hour; 2nd of July, 2015.
Location: Storage Shed, Gravel Outpost.
Soldier made his way back to Gravel Outpost slowly. When he got there, the entire RED and FRED Teams were standing by the entrance of the Storage Shed.
"I take it that he got away?" Engineer asked.
Soldier did not reply. He simply walked past his teammates and their female counterparts, but stopped short of the Storage Shed doors.
"Get some good night sleep, everyone..." Soldier said in a quiet tone, which is unusual for him. "We get briefed for our next mission at dawn..."
That said, the WW2 veteran pushed open the doors, and walked into the Shed without uttering a second word.
Everyone else present looked at each other, and nodded in acknowledgement. They knew what they would tell each other.
...
Time: 0900 Hour; 2nd of July, 2015.
Location: RED Command Center, Gravel Outpost.
Just as Soldier instructed last night, everyone gathered at the Command Center at precisely dawn.
"Listen up, gentlemen..." Soldier said to his teammates. "...and ladies..." He added as he reminds himself that the FREDs are also part of the REDs.
"Listening!" Scout and Fem-Scout both said in unison.
Soldier cleared his throat, and then begins the briefing. "As you all know, Painis Cupcake, our prisoner and only lead on the NEW Team escaped last night with a friend of his. Just before he left on his getaway... flying car, he told me that the NEW Team's next game will be held at Gorge, at noon..."
"Question: what game will be taking place there? And what team will be fighting the NEW wankers?" Came a question asked by Sniper.
"He just told me where and when, that's it..." Soldier answers, before he continues the briefing. "Anyways, since Gorge is just over the nearby mountain pass, we'll be able to get there within minutes even on foot. So here's the plan..." The WW2 veteran slams his fist on the desk. "We'll get to Gorge before the NEWs does, wait for the game to start, and quietly watch how those NEW numbskulls fight."
"But vhat if zey are already there?" Medic cuts off Soldier with a question.
"Medic raises a point here..." Soldier took note of the German doctor's question. "If the NEWs decided to not waste a single second, and are already waiting at Gorge, we'll stay out of sight until their game actually starts. Now we all know that Gorge can only run Control Point games, but try remember that in the decades since we've kicked Gray Mann and his robots' asses, we've played Control Point in Sawmill which used to only support Capture The Flag, and Payload in Nucleus which used to be Deathmatch only."
"So that means we shouldn't be expecting Control Point in their games at Gorge?" Engineer asked.
"Yes. For all we know, they could be playing Territorial Control there..." Soldier answers. "And that is all, team. Now let's get to Gorge right away!"
Pyro stood up and laughed maniacally while holding his Flamethrower over his head.
As the mercenaries left the Command Center, Soldier passed Painis Cupcake's Mercenary Badge to Engineer. "Get the photo attached to it processed. I need to know who the Mann Of Conspiracy really is...
...
Location: NEW Team's Respawn Room, Gorge.
In a sense, Soldier was right about the NEW Team mercenaries having already arrived at Gorge. However, the NEWs chose to spend their time in their Respawn Room before the game starts.
"And so, I used my flute as a blowgun and gave that Chinese idiota a needle full of Cyanide!" Musician told his story to all of the NEWs. "Serves that idiota right for throwing a rotten jackfruit at my face! Right, compagno?"
"Well, that tells the world that we Europeans take our jobs very seriously, bud!" Sailor throws in a comment while laughing about that story.
"Oi! We South Koreans took RTS games like Starcraft very seriously!" Recon jammed his opinion straight into the conversation. He then turns slowly toward Striker who is standing alone in a corner. "Unlike our northern neighbors who took life and law a bit too seriously..."
Striker normally would have objected to statements like the one the South Korean just said, but surprisingly he ignored it completely.
"Which reminds me..." Musician remembered something. "...That jackfruit-Cyanide blowgun fiasco is how I lost my Italian citizenship. If I go back, the Carabineri have full permission to shoot me on sight..."
"Oh, that's nothing compared to when I accidentally jinxed a cruise ship to crash into an iceberg." Mage adds in.
Sailor instantly knew what Mage was talking about. "Wait, you're responsible for the sinking of RMS Titanic?
"Sorry if I offended you, Sailor." Mage apologizes. "But 92 was a pretty tough age for me..."
"Attention, everyone..." The NEWs' conversation are interrupted by the Mann Of Conspiracy's pre-recorded message blaring out of the loudspeakers around Gorge. "The game is about to begin. Please return to your team's Respawn Room if you haven't already, and make sure you have your desired load-out before the game begins, for changing your equipment mid-game is strictly forbidden. The upcoming game will be Capture The Flag. Thank you."
"I have been waiting long enough..." Inflictor stated as she got up. "Senor Striker, you should get ready as well."
It is now noticed that Striker is looking at a dog tag that he is holding in his left hand. The dog tag wasn't his, or any team's Scouts', for that matter...
The dog tag read: Clara Doe, Lieutenant. DOB: 23-01-1899. Blood Type: O. Hometown: New York, USA. Participation: Normandy, France; Kuantan, Malaysia; Western Front, USSR; 38th Parallel, Korean Peninsula...
"Still looking at that dog tag you took from an American soldier in the 38th Parallel?" Recon took note, and disturbed Striker's thoughts, whatever he was thinking at the moment.
The South Korean expected the North Korean to hit him. But surprisingly, Striker withheld the desire to attack Recon, not that the phenomenon of Friendly Fireproof allows it anyway.
"You should know, Jang Han-Guk, that this belonged to the niece of one of the RED Team's mercenaries..." Striker said stoically.
"Is that sympathy I sense from a North Korean?" Recon added sarcastically. "Never mind that. Three hours appear to have elapsed in minutes, so get ready."
...
Time: 1200 Hour.
The REDs and FREDs stood outside the zone of Gorge, waiting for the NEWs' game to start.
"Oh, for crying out loud! We've been here for two and a half hours!" Scout said impatiently. "If this suspense drags on, I'm gonna go bonkers!"
Fem-Scout grabbed Scout by the collar and dragged him back down. "At any rate, we're the ones going bonkers with your rants!"
"Speaking of which..." Soldier remembers something. He then turns toward the nearly-drunk Demoman. "Demo, try to keep your cool this time."
"The same goes for you too." Fem-Soldier said to Fem-Demo.
Of course, both Demos may be too drunk to actually remember what was told to them. Scotsmen and Scotswomen sure got drunk really quickly.
"Make yourselves comfortable, buddies..." Fem-Engineer told everyone. "Because we all know that games of Capture The Flag always drags on for a while no matter how unbalanced the opposing teams are."
...
Location: Thunder Mountain.
The same flying camper van that Painis Cupcake and Christian Brutal Sniper escaped on is seen parked in the first stage where the Payload Cart should have been.
"Now you take good care of yourself, mate..." Christian told Painis. "Freaks only hide here because they have bounties on their heads, or have failed the Mann Of Conspiracy."
"I have been taking care of myself for years. Of course I can." The cannibal Freak proclaims to the walking arsenal. "Now if you excuse me..."
Painis then proceeds to throw himself at a Spycrab that happens to be passing by.
Christian face-palmed in response, "Bloody whackjob..." and then boards the flying camper van again, which then takes off the ground and flies away from Thunder Mountain.
...
Time: 1430 Hour.
Location: Gorge.
As expected, the Capture The Flag game dragged on for a while.
WHT Team may have put up a good fight, but in the end they still lost the game at 0 points whereas NEW Team scored 42 and won flawlessly. The REDs and FREDs were a little bit surprised.
"I knew it..." Fem-Soldier said, as she snatches the quarter that Fem-Medic flipped into the air. "The NEWs scored their fifth Flawless Victory in a row. So far the only hit anyone of them have ever taken is when Fem-Pyro managed to set Recon on fire."
"But at least now we know how they lay out their opponents." Engineer said. "That South Korean rip-off of me has a Jammer that can disable and even prematurely drain Cloaks. So Spah, m'lad, you need to be careful 'round it."
"Understood." Both Spy and Fem-Spy acknowledges.
"That freakin' Ninja chick can outrun Scouts! Freakin' unbelievable!" Scout sulked about what he saw.
"Seems that the Mage's Primary Weapon automatically recharges after the first shot, but in exchange, can't pick up ammo from anything." Fem-Engineer analyzes. "Guess magic has its pros and cons."
The REDs and FREDs had to retreat back into the forest when the NEW mercenaries decided to regroup at the center Control Point (which is disables due to not being the right game). The NEW Team then starts a conversation, which is inaudible to the REDs and FREDs from this distance.
"Engie..." Soldier whispered to the Texan technician.
Engineer nodded, and silently produced a directional microphone from his toolbox, which he points at the direction of the NEWs while remaining hidden. Engineer had also tuned down the volume so the NEWs don't hear an echo of their own conversation.
"The WHT Team mercenaries should have known better. I've dominated their Sniper twice!" Came the voice of Sailor, boasting about his achievement in the game.
"What about that? I scored a double Domination on the WHT Demoman and Pyro, whom were respectively Demo-Knighting and going W+M1 at that moment..." Came Ninja's response.
For a few minutes, all the NEW mercenaries except Striker boasted to each other about how they utterly stomped WHT Team. The REDs and FREDs almost got bored with the eavesdropping, until...
"We have achieved our fifth Flawless Victory in a row, as Donji Mann Of Conspiracy has instructed." Striker interrupted his comrades' conversation, and it was the North Korean speaking that drew attention from the REDs and FREDs.
The directional microphone cannot read physical actions, but Sailor appears to be scratching his head, judging by the sound. "Oh, right. Thanks for reminding, Striker. Now what was the code again?"
"I believe it is the five letter word spelled T-O-B-O-R..." Came Recon's reminder. "Mann Company policies states that the first team to achieve five Flawless Victories in a row will be permitted to buy items from the Mann Company Stores, as with the former RED and BLU Teams back in the early days..."
"Oh, great, now we finally have the rights to buy Supply Crate Keys!" Mage's adding in surprised the eavesdroppers a bit. "Those Crates kept coming at random intervals ever since we defeated the RED boys!"
"You all can discuss about these useless cosmetics later..." Striker interrupts stoically. "It seems that the WHT Team mercenaries were not the only ones present aside from us..."
Hearing the North Korean's statement made all 18 eavesdroppers gulp, and in the case of Heavy, shit bricks.
"Bloody whackjob!" Sniper decided to stop hiding, and stood up. "JARATE!" Sniper has somehow managed to fill up a jar of Jarate without anyone noticing, and throws it at the direction of the NEW mercenaries. The fact that the Australian gunman managed to throw that far (like, from the edge of the map all the way to the exact center) is quite an impressive feat...
!
...That is, until Mage had intercepted it, and casted a Reflection Spell which reflected the Jarate like it was caught by an Airblast back at the REDs and FREDs.
The reflected Jarate splatters all over the REDs and FREDs.
"Ah, piss..." Fem-Sniper said in disappointment.
Alchemist then finishes it by performing a Attack Taunt, which summons a lightning bolt from the sky to strike the eavesdroppers, whom due to being covered in Jarate, took Mini-Crits from the Attack Taunt and got gibbed into several pieces.
NEW Alchemist party-wiped RED Team and FRED Team with "Smite" Attack Taunt, with assistance from NEW Mage reflecting RED Sniper's Jarate.
"Jeez, give a break..." Mage sulked about it afterwards.
"Yare-yare, da ze..." Ninja said something in Japanese.
"Seriously, the imbecille from RED are going imbrogliare?" Musician points out with slight anger.
Arsonist, who is unable to speak, opted to flip the middle finger at where the REDs and FREDs were standing earlier.
The Carrier Airship arrives at the Gorge facility, cueing the NEWs that it is time for them to leave.
"Congratulations, NEW Team. For achieving your fifth Flawless Victory in a row, you have impressed Mann Co enough to be permitted access to their store!" Came an announcement by the Mann Of Conspiracy through the intercoms.
As that is said, the NEWs are then beamed aboard the Carrier Airship, which then departs from Gorge into the distance.
...
Location: RED Command Center, Gravel Outpost.
Of course, getting total-party-Taunt-killed is not a big deal for the REDs and FREDs, thanks to the magic of Respawn. Both teams Respawned at Gravel Outpost just a few minutes later.
"Good work, Sniper!" Soldier gave Sniper a pat on the shoulder. "Attacking them so as to make them think we're ambushing them instead of eavesdropping!"
"Sniper is credit to team." Heavy adds in.
Clearing his throat, Soldier begins the second briefing of the day. "So from what we've learned about the NEW numbskulls..."
The WW2 veteran then gestures to Engineer to turn on the projector. Fem-Engineer did it before Engineer can.
Soldier continues his briefing, as he points at the projected screen. "I'll just focus on the ones that can't be taken in a straight fight..."
"Let's start with the Ninja this time. This Japanese girl is faster than a normal Scout, but in exchange, has less Health, as seen with how she simply avoids all encounters with WHT Team's Soldier and Demoman. Although she's not very good at ranged combat, she's even better at close-ranged hit-and-run than a Demo-Knighting Demoman, and that's without any sort of shields or shoes. She is very hard to hit with guns, so calculate her trajectory carefully, and aim in accordance. She's very fast and is good at melee combat, so if she gets close to you, don't bother to run as none of us can outrun her, not even with Hype-mode Baby's Face Blaster, or the Gloves Of Running Urgently, or me with the Escape Plan at 1 Health. One more thing to note about Ninja is her 'Seppuku' Kill-Taunt. It comes out even faster than Heavy's 'Quick-Draw' at just 3 seconds, and instantly kills whoever happens to be standing right behind her, as demonstrated by the WHT Spy."
"Then it seems that Backstabbing Ninja is a near-suicidal move..." Spy comments.
"Now moving on to the Musician. This Fascist Italian is not very good at dishing out direct damage, but his Blowgun Flute can Poison anyone it hits, and Poison is even nastier than Bleeding, Fire, Stun and Jarate, as it somehow makes you move left when you wanted to go right, et cetera. His Funeral Trumpet is so high pitched that any opponents hearing it will be subject to Mini-Crits until they stop hearing it, but thankfully it is unable to actually dish out direct damage. The Weighted Violin is self-explanatory..."
"What an insult to European music!" Fem-Medic gives her comment.
"Up next is the Recon, who is basically Engineer as a South Korean nerd. His Mini-Tesla is able to shoot constant streams of electricity at everyone passing by, at any direction, and at Level 3, doing damage faster than Medic can heal. Normally we'll just get Spy to Sap his buildings, but Recon counters this with the Jammer, a building that can force opposing Spies out of Cloak or Disguise, and prevents them from doing so for as long as they are near one. And then there's the Beacon, which is like a Dispenser on steroids. Anyone standing next to a Level 3 Beacon heals so fast he or she might as well be invincible barring Headshots, Backstabs and Kill-Taunts, and then there's the fact that it charge up Crit-Buffs in 1 minute, which can then be deployed to all nearby allies by the Recon whacking it once with his Hammer. Speaking of the Hammer, he can swing it as fast as Scout, allowing him to build and repair faster than any Engineers.
"If this guy is with us, Ah'll be cast aside like I was nothing!" Engineer complains.
"The rest of them can be summed up like this: Mage doubles as a Medic and Soldier, Sailor doubles as a Soldier and Heavy, Arsonist doubles as a Scout and Demoman, Alchemist doubles as a Sniper and Pyro in terms of firepower, Inflictor doubles as Sniper and Demoman, and then..."
"The Striker!" Pretty much everyone mentioned the NEW mercenary at the same time, out of disgust. Soldier even more so due to personal matters.
"This bastard from North Korea is quite overpowered for a Support Class. He is as fast as Scout, can take as much hit as Heavy, and with his stock load-out, perform Headshots with the Assault Rifle, and Backstabs with the Combat Knife... He basically quadruples as a Scout, Heavy, Sniper and Spy..."
"Freakin' unbelievable!" Fem-Scout complains.
"Bloody hell!" So did Fem-Sniper.
"If zat is ze case, how will we plan on defeating ze NEW Team?" Fem-Medic raises a question.
Soldier turns off the projector himself. "With the skills we have right now, there's no way we can beat the NEWs, even with special weapons. We'll have to raise our skill level to their equal first..."
"But how will we expect to do that?" Fem-Soldier raises yet another question.
Soldier touched his chin as he starts thinking of something. He then turns toward Engineer. "Engie, have you finished repairing the train engine?"
Engineer gave a thumb-up t the WW2 veteran. "Aside from some missing paint job, everything is A-Okay."
Soldier nodded in acknowledgement. He have his answer to Fem-Medic's question.
"Okay, people, here's the next part of our plan. We'll take the recently repaired train to a station only I know about. There, we'll meet someone that might be able to help us with our plan to defeat the NEWs and their boss. I used to laugh at his different tactics back then, but now I think he may have been right, after all..."
Scout raises a hand. "Um... Who is this guy you're talkin' about?"
"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" Demoman suddenly shouts in a drunken stupor, prompting the not-as-drunk Fem-Demo to shut him up by whacking his head with his own Bottle.
"He and his buddies came to America to hide themselves from the Communist government of China. Now based solely on the fact I mentioned them as being from China, you guys might call them unimaginative Chinese rip-offs of us. But right now, with Mann Co being changed into something else entirely by the NEWs' boss, he and his team are pretty much the closest thing to the original Mann Co we have left in this world." Soldier gives a straight answer.
The rest of the REDs and FREDs tried not to frown, for they knew what Soldier is talking about.
"You could say that he's my Chinese 'cousin'. He's called The Rocket..."
Afterwords
Woo, now the REDs and FREDs learned how the NEW mercenaries fight. Problem was, the NEWs outclassed them completely, which means they have to improve their skills to be able to take on the Striker and his multi-national Donji (North Korean equivalent of the USSR's "Comrade"). Who does Solly plan on asking for help?
You Americans might hate me for mentioning this, but it's The Rocket from Final Combat, which is pretty much a Chinese rip-off of Team Fortress 2...
...So I thought: why not make the two games share the same universe? Hope you don't kill me for this, because even the Chinese fandom prefers TF2 over FC...
T-O-B-O-R. Does that seem familiar to you?
The fact that even Painis Cupcake, of all people, are afraid of going back to the Mann Of Conspiracy tells us that he could be very horrible indeed. Looks like Painis was right when he warned Soldier "You have no idea what you are getting yourself in to..."
Shout-out index:
! - "Metal Gear?!"
"Yare-yare da ze..." - You might not get this if you don't understand Japanese, but this came from the line that made the "ze" verbal tic famous in Touhou Project. Didn't expect a Touhou reference? Well, there'll be more in later chapters.
That is all. "Poot punchline here..."