Forewords
Okay, let there be a friendly crossover between Team Fortress 2 and Final Combat.
Do note that since the FC Team are all Chinese, expect most of then to either speak in incredibly broken English (Asian spekee Engrish), or entirely in Mandarin (ZhongGuo ren bu hui YingWen [Chinese don't understand English]).
Don't worry about me getting the Chinese grammar wrong. I'm from a country that has Chinese as a secondary language, so I won't be needing Google Translate when I write Chinese. Although the lack of a Chinese writing software on my PC means that I'll be typing the Mandarin sentences in PinYin only...
Chapter 7: From China With Love
Time: 1545 Hour; 2nd of July, 2015.
Location: Camp Coolie, approximately 8 kilometers from Gravel Outpost.
The trip to the alleged "secret location" that only Soldier knows took one hour and 15 minutes by the Mann Express train that Engineer had only finished repairing not too long ago. When the REDs and FREDs arrived there, all they see were a pile of junks arranged into the shape of makeshift buildings.
There is also a Conscientious Objector that said "Keep Out" stuck on the ground next to the obviously-makeshift train station. It was quickly noted that despite the text on the sign being English, the text themselves appeared to be written with Chinese calligraphy pen, complete with the smell of Chinese writing ink.
"It was I who suggested Rocket and his team to hide here back then..." Soldier told his teammates. "This is a Payload map that never finished construction, and was soon forgotten by the Mann Brothers completely. It doesn't exist anywhere in Mann Co's database, so I figured it'll be perfect as a hideout for them..."
The team looked around the junk piles.
"Even I have to admit... my bedroom back home is tidier than this place..." Scout comments on the untidiness of the piles.
"Of course, being asylum seekers from China, tidiness was the last thing they have on their mind..." Soldier added in, as he approaches the piles.
The REDs and FREDs followed. Being cautious of attacks, they all have their Secondary Weapons ready on hand.
Nothing else had appeared in the junkyard for minutes. That is still the case when the mercenaries walked into a clearing that was made by the surrounding building-shaped piles of junks to resemble a plaza.
"Where is everyone, anyway?" Engineer decided to disturb the silence. "Been here for a while now, and still not even a single footprint beside ours..."
"Head-on greetings were never the thing for the Chinese people, anyway..." Soldier replies.
And then without warning, a Fire Axe was thrown from somewhere among the junk piles, and landed blade-first right next to Soldier's left boot.
Several meters in front of the team is a man, who looked pretty much like Soldier with a differently-patterned default outfit. Most notable was the man's firefighting helmet.
"Ba ShuoYou WuQi Dou Pao Dao DiMian Shang!" [Drop all your weapons on the ground!] He threatened in Mandarin, with a clear Mainland Chinese accent, while pointing an unidentifiable Rocket Launcher-type weapon at the teams.
Fem-Scout attempted to fire her Pistol, but Soldier stopped her.
"I got this, guys..." The WW2 veteran said.
Soldier did as the Chinese mercenary said, and dropped all three of his weapons on the ground, while slowly approaching him.
"Listen up, pal..." Soldier suddenly quips, causing a confusion amongst the REDs and FREDs. "We use weapons to make peace..."
The Chinese mercenary just stood there for a few seconds. Then he lowers his weapon.
"...But some use them to escalate wars." The Chinese mercenary continues the sentence, in an accented but clear English.
Getting the response he expected, Soldier displayed a smile on his lips.
"Long time no see, Rocket." He greeted.
The Chinese mercenary, identified as Rocket, put his weapon away, and greeted as well. "It has been a while, Soldier."
Soldier and Rocket proceeds to give each other a friendship hug.
"So what brings you here, friend?" Rocket asked.
Soldier points at the REDs and FREDs behind him. "These are my teammates, and we all need your help with a plan of ours..."
The REDs and FREDs all lowered their weapons.
"Uh... hi?" Scout greeted in an unsure tone, waving his right hand at the same time.
Rocket eyed Soldier's team, then back at Soldier himself. "What kind of plan required you to ask for help from me?"
"Mann Co has been taken over by a new team that successfully scored a Flawless Victory against us. They are called - not to be punny - the NEW Team. NEW, as in the acronym for Newly Established Warpath, and we need your help kicking their ass."
Rocket thought of something for a moment. "Are they worse than the OWNs from 30 years ago?"
Soldier gave a straightaway answer that made things self-explanatory. "The NEWs are so powerful, they made the OWNs look severely underequipped in comparison!"
"Well, they must be, if even people like you think they are quite powerful..." Rocket said. He then hand-signals Soldier and his teammates to follow him. "Come on, my friend. Me and my team will need to know more about this Newly Established Warpath before we can help you. Let us go to the bunker where its impossible for even an OWN Spy to eavesdrop on us..."
...
Rocket have lead Soldier and his team toward a stairway that lead underground. Said stairway was located in a shoddily-made wall-less shack with a roof made of Conscientious Objectors and Pain Trains nailed together. Standing guard on the roof were two people who might be Rocket's teammates.
"By the way, I figured we cannot call ourselves the Chinese REDs due to the plagiarizing tendencies of our former employers in China..." Rocket added as he leads the REDs and FREDs near the stairway. "After several days of discussion with Fatman - one of my team member you saw on the roof of this shack - I have decided that my team shall go as the Final Combatants, or FC Team if you prefer..."
Heavy looked at FC Fatman who is standing on the roof of the shack right now. "Giant man, with giant rip-off..."
Sniper took a look at the woman that is standing next to Fatman. "Bloody Chinese rip-off of me, mates!"
Amusingly, it would appear that both Fatman and FC Sniper do not understand English. Though they do react to Heavy and Sniper's reactions by turning toward each other and saying something which is unintelligible from this distance.
...
Location: FC Team's Bunker, Camp Coolie.
Within the safety of the FC Team's bunker, Soldier told the full details of his story to Rocket. From when the RED Team first engaged the NEW Team, to when the NEWs' boss - the Mann Of Conspiracy - took over Mann Co and turned it into something else. Of course, Soldier did not leave out what he has in mind for the NEW Striker.
"Are you sure its not my team's Striker, or the Chinese BLUs'?" Rocket wanted to confirm the detail regarding the person in question.
"A hundred percent..." Soldier clarifies. "The Striker you know is the Chinese rip-off of Scout. The NEW Striker is an original class who hails from North Korea..." He proceeds to describe the NEW Striker's physical appearance the best he can.
At about the same time, both Pyro and Fem-Pyro are in the background, trying to impress Firebat by playing air guitar on their Fire Axe. Strangely enough, Firebat, despite being a borderline Chinese copy-pasting of Pyro (right down to the gas mask and lack of understandable speech), is sane enough that he isn't amused by such a strange act.
"The Striker, from North Korea?" The detail caught Rocket's attention. "I may have seen him on the headlines of a newspaper mentioning him..."
Soldier tries his best to stay calm upon hearing that statement. How he would react, had he not calmed down, is easily guessed by Medic, who is watching from one side of the room.
"Can I see that newspaper?" Soldier asked as best as he could.
Rocket walked toward the table in the middle of the room, and lifted the map on it off, as he removes an old newspaper from it. "It was an old newspaper, anyway. You can keep it if it helps you..."
Soldier snatched the newspaper from the Chinese mercenary's hand, and read through the text of the weathered and crumpled paper.
"French editorial Charlie Hebdo attacked by two gunmen from North Korea. Gunmen's motives alleged to be the mocking of former North Korean leader Kim Il-Sung in a comic strip." so says the headlines, complete with a blurry photo of the two gunmen in question.
Although the photo is blurry, Soldier immediately recognized one of the gunmen to be NEW Striker.
"That's him!" Soldier showed Rocket the photo, and pointed a finger at the Striker. "He was in France half a year ago! Bastard took a temporal leave from NEW Team just so he can help his home country one last time!"
Soldier notices that the next news is also a headline, from a newspaper that is printed in a several years ago (right on the 9-11 Attack), attached to the current one with cellophane tape.
"United Airlines jet liners hijacked by North Korean assassins, and rammed into World Trade Center and The Pentagon. FBI believes that the attacks are spearheaded by notorious North Korean official named Park Joseon." Such is the headlines on the dreadful day of 9-11. Yet another blurry photo is shown.
"See!" Soldier pointed at one of the people in the crowd pictured. That face was Strikers. "It didn't occur to the FBI that he was right there that very day!"
"I believe you should read the next article, friend..." Rocket told the WW2 veteran. "It's not a headline, but a piece of information the Chinese government acquired when they hacked America last month..."
The third article reads, in Rocket's handwriting by regular pencil: "SEAL Team Six: Mission in Taiwan is a failure. Park Joseon knew we were coming, and have already escaped when we reached his hideout. We ended up shooting his double instead..."
"The one information about that operation the Obama Administration refused to publicize under any circumstances..." Rocket added in, with his own disappointment in the tone.
Soldier just stared at the third article for a full minute without saying anything. But the other REDs, including both Scouts and Pyros, stopped fooling around and took several steps away from the WW2 veteran.
And then Soldier basically exploded in a fit of rage.
"Those goddamned idiots calling themselves the United States Armed Forces!" Soldier shouted in a raging fit as he crumples up the articles into a ball and throws it at a random direction, which FC Mechanic (Chinese plagiarism of Engineer) who happens to be standing in that direction nonchalantly dodges by stepping out of the way.
At this point, Fem-Soldier decided to just tell the REDs and FREDs to "Leave Solly alone for a few minutes, boys and girls..." and escorts them all out of the bunker.
"They have he opportunity to end him, and the anti-America operations spearheaded by the North Korean government. Yet they screwed up and let him escape!" Soldier continued with his fit of rage. "And I was with them when they stopped Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan! When did they degrade so much?!"
"I might partially understand how you feel, Soldier..." Rocket tries to calm the WW2 veteran down. "The Chinese government weren't faring very well against North Korea either. After all, there is no such thing as total perfection."
That seemed to do the trick, as Soldier's fit of rage ended right there. "You are right. No one is perfect in everything, not even Chuck Norris..."
Rocket gave Soldier a congratulatory pat on the shoulders. "And that applies to the NEW Team too. Which brings us back to why you're here in the first place."
"Yes, to get from you regarding our operation against NEW Team and the Mann Of Conspiracy." Soldier added in.
...
And so, the REDs and FREDs spent the rest of the day watching a drill that Rocket conducted for the entire FC Team. The REDs and FREDs took note on how vastly different FC Team's combat strategies were from their own.
The drills included the Chinese rip-offs of Payload, Capture The Flag, Deathmatch, Control Point, King Of The Hill, Territorial Control, and for some reason, with the addition of Dodgeball (turns out Firebat was worse at Airblasts than Pyro), Crabmod (they used reprogrammed Spy Robots for this mod-game since the Chinese don't have a version of Spy), Balloon Race, Hidden (once again using a Spy Robot), and Versus Saxton Hale (the "Hale" in question is obviously an animatronic stand-in, but the REDs are not sure who the Chinese rip-off of Saxton Hale is).
"I guess zat is vhy ze Chinese think of zemselves as ze most powerful in the world..." Medic makes an offhand comment on the Chinese mercenaries' combat styles, as he takes note on how FC Medical (a very strange rip-off of Medic himself, and is a girl) micromanages between Rocket, Firebat and Fatman all at the same time.
The REDs and FREDs continued to watch the drill and take notes of the important factors. One irrelevant thing they did take note of is how the Chinese mercenaries all spoke their lines (excluding Dominations, which the Chinese didn't have) in Mandarin.
"If only we understand what they are saying, mates..." Fem-Sniper makes her own offhand comment about it.
In the background, the Responses of the various FC Team members echoed through Camp Coolie as the drill went on. "Wo Bei DianRan La!" [I am on FIRE!] So came Rocket's Response of being on fire.
"Ah've noticed that the Chinese seems to be not protected from Friendly Fires, seeing as how FC Sniper accidentally team-killed Firebat and Mechanic multiple times." Engineer points out. "That, and how outdated their Respawn System is. Ah' mean, come on! Free invincibility for ten seconds upon respawn?"
...
Time: 2115 Hour.
Later that night, Rocket offered the REDs and FREDs to spend the night at Camp Coolie after all the notes-taking and the trainings they have spent the entire afternoon doing.
While Soldier and Rocket were outside chatting, everyone else were fast asleep inside the bunker, save for Scout and Fem-Scout who were being kept awake by someone's loud snore.
"Aw, jeez!" Scout complains, as he got up from his bunk bed in anger. "That freakin' Heavy is at it again! I'm gonna bonk him!"
"Game on!" Fem-Scout agrees.
The two Bostonian batters grabbed their Sandman bats, and approached Heavy's bunk bed, ready to launch Sandman balls at his face...
...Only to find out that the massive Russian is also wide awake.
"Not me this time..." Heavy told Scout, knowing what he's going to do with that Sandman.
"Wait. If big guy isn't the one snoring, then where's the freakin' snore comin' from?" Scout wondered.
The three wide-awake mercenaries quickly pinpointed the origins of the snoring: FC Fatman.
"Aw, jeez!" This time, it was Fem-Scout complaining about the situation.
...
Location: Outside FC Team's Bunker, Camp Coolie.
"So, Rocket, what happened to FC Striker?" Soldier asked his Chinese friend. "Didn't see him anywhere with the rest of your team..."
Rocket just stood there for awhile of the answer for Soldier's question. "You can blame North Korea for that..."
"NEW Striker?" Soldier takes on the meaning of the answer.
"Not directly..." Rocket adds another answer. "It was about 30 years ago, one month after you smuggled me and my team into America, and hid us in this abandoned Payload map. It was out of the blue when we were attacked by North Korean assassins who followed us all the way here. The North Koreans, sent by Park Joseon aka NEW Striker were not playing by the rules of the games, and was so overwhelming that FC Striker gave up his Respawn Module to stop them and keep the exact location of Camp Coolie a secret."
"That bastard..." Soldier muttered under his breath. "You were lucky that he never learned about the exact whereabouts of Camp Coolie..."
...
Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship; over Mann Co HQ.
Unbeknownst to both the WW2 veteran and the Chinese fireman-turned-mercenary, they were being eavesdropped by a spy satellite that was deployed by the Mann Of Conspiracy.
"You were lucky that he never learned about the exact whereabouts of Camp Coolie..." Soldier's voice echoed from the live bird's eye view footage of his location on a holographic screen.
It just so happens that the NEW mercenaries have not gone to sleep yet, and all of them, including NEW Striker were there watching the same footage as their boss.
"Jogeumdo..." [Damn...] Striker cursed in Korean upon being reminded of a past operation which he failed his home country with.
"And so the REDs, FREDs and... this Chinese rip-off called FC Team all think they are safe in an abandoned Payload map that Redmond and Blutarch have all but forgotten..." The Mann Of Conspiracy, sat on his throne-like chair as usual, comments. "Well, I believe I have a remedy for it..."
Recon stood forward, seemingly expecting to be sent on another mission. But was quickly stopped mid-step by Sailor putting an anchor in front of the South Korean technician.
"Maybe not this time, kid." The British mercenary told him.
The Mann Of Conspiracy raised an index finger for the NEWs to see. "Of course, Mr. Punchman. I'm sending something else after the REDs and their newest allies..."
That statement sent chills down Inflictor's spine. "Who or what are you taking about, senor?"
The Mann Of Conspiracy rests his mechanical hand down. "Why, of course, the man who is self-proclaimed to be better than Chuck Norris in every way..."
...
Time: 0400 Hour, 3rd of July, 2015.
Location: Camp Coolie.
Two hours before dawn, Scout walked out of the bunker after having enough of Fatman's snoring (Fem-Scout stuffed her ears with chewing gum while Heavy quickly learned to block it out).
"Freakin' snoring Chinese fatass..." The Bostonian batter complained under his breath. He kicked a small pebble from the ground, which is launched toward a trash can filled with Holy Mackerels, and produced a soft ping on impact. "None of this would've happened if it wasn't for the freakin' NEWs!"
Scout is quickly interrupted by a series of rapid footsteps echoing softly around the abandoned Payload map.
"What the hell was that?!" Scout exclaimed, as he raises his Atomizer bat in response.
Another series of footsteps. This time slightly louder.
"This better not be 'nother one of those Freaks!"
The footsteps occurred again. This time it is audible enough that Scout had chills down his spine for he found the sound very familiar.
"I haven't heard that sound for 50 years..."
A loud thud is then heard coming from above the roof of the Bunker. Scout looked up...
...And saw what can best be described as a pair of glowing red eyes that stands out in the star-lit but moonless night sky. And it is looking straight at him.
"You have got to be kidding...!"
...
Everyone in the Bunker - the REDs, FREDs and even the FC Team mercenaries were woken up by the loud noise of something trashing right outside the Bunker.
"That has never happened before, even before Saxton Hale and The Administrator kicked us out..." Soldier said, as he grabs his Shotgun and cocks it once. "Even Scout and Pyro are sensible enough to not do this..."
"He's right..." Fem-Soldier said, and did the same thing. "This can only mean that some enemy maggots are out there!"
...
The REDs and FREDs all rushed out of the Bunker at once, while FC Team went to the roof of the Bunker to give the REDs support fire if needed. Everyone had their Primary Weapons out.
What they saw before their eyes sent so much chills down their spine they might as well be frozen solid.
"Tian Ah..." [Oh my god...] The Fatman, FC Sniper and Mechanic all uttered in Mandarin.
Holding Scout by his neck with his feet dangling a meter off the ground, is a mechanical humanoid with a gray color scheme, and metallic pecks that would've rivaled what Saxton Hale has...
...But as Sniper and Fem-Sniper takes a close look at the machine's face with the scope of their Sniper Rifles, they saw, behind the glowing red eyes, what appears to be a partially organic face...
...The face of Saxton Hale himself. The chest portion where the Australia-shaped chest hair should be is instead replaced by a slab of metal that has Mann Of Conspiracy etched on it.
"Holy doolie!" Both Australians exclaimed in surprise.
The mechanical beast bearing half of Saxton Hale's face released its iron grip on Scout, who drops onto the ground on his back, while struggling to get his breath back.
"Ze Mann Of Conspiracy has done it!" Medic and Fem-Medic both exclaims at the same time. "He has created a cyborg! With a type of metal not on ze Periodic Table!"
"No, not just any cyborg!" Scout regained his stamina and told his teammates. "I can tell that this monster is Saxton Hale himself, and the Mann Of Conspiracy practically turned him into a Borg!"
The mechanical beast tries to crush Scout's head with his feet. Scout rolled out of the way before the attack connects.
"The real CEO of Mann Co?!" It was Rocket's turn to exclaim. "What has the NEW Team done to him?!"
The mechanical beast does a Kung-Fu stance as a Taunt of some kind.
"Let's get this party started, mates!" The mechanical beast spoke with a digital version of Saxton Hale's voice. His mouth moved differently than what he speaks, though.
Spy noticed this, and decides to quickly tell Soldier about it. "Soldier, it appears that Monsieur Hale's mouth is spelling something other than what he has just said. I learned to read someone's lips in the past 50 years..."
"Make it quick, Frenchie..." Soldier said in an urgency, as he begins loading the Beggar's Bazooka with rockets.
Spy makes use of his lip-reading skill to spell out what the mechanical beast's organic mouth is actually saying.
"'Kill me, please...' Is what Monsieur Hale is trying to tell us as he resists the controls of the Mann Of Conspiracy. And he is very serious about it..."
Freak Fortress game initiated. You are now fighting: Saxton Hale Robot.
Afterwords
Yep, that's one heck of a plot twist there. The Mann Of Conspiracy has used the powers of Anythium (See "Chapter 4: You're Fired... Literally!") to turn Saxton Hale himself into a mechanical puppet under his control! And judging by what Hale is mouthing to the REDs, FREDs and FC Team, it seems that the part of Hale not under the Mann's controls wants the mercenaries to kill him!
And so a Freak Fortress game begins, with the Final Combat Team getting dragged into the mess with it...
Shout-out index:
From China With Love - Or if you would, From Russia With Love.
"...Practically turned him into a Borg!" - "Resistance is futile." ~The Borg, Star Trek.
That is all. "Punchline goin' up..."