Forewords
So, here we are, the first boss fight in the story, done in the style of a Freak Fortress game...
...With Saxton Hale as the first boss, no less...
And joining the RED Team are the mercenaries of Final Combat, a Chinese rip-off of Team Fortress 2...
Chapter 8: Go Down With A Fight
Time: 0415 Hour; 3rd of July, 2015.
Location: Camp Coolie.
Freak Fortress battle initiated. No Respawns! You are now fighting: Saxton Hale Robot!
*RIP!*
Without breaking a robot-sweat, the Saxton Hale Robot literally ripped Scout's head right off his shoulders.
"Give me your face!" The Saxton Hale Robot announced hammily, even though his mouth wasn't even moving.
The rest of the REDs, along with the FREDs and FC Team aimed their Primary Weapons and fired at the mechanical macho. But the Saxton Hale Robot's mechanical body is so tough even a Crit-Rocket hardly did any damage to him.
"Split up, gentlemen... and ladies!" Soldier shouted at everyone else. "He's definitely fast and tough, but there's only one of him and 25 of us!"
Of course, since most of the Chinese FC Team mercenaries don't understand English, Rocket had to translate it for them. "ShanKai!" [Spread out!]
With spreading out in mind, the three teams split up and ran off toward every direction, hoping to at least slow down the rate at which the Saxton Hale Robot kills off everyone.
"We better be careful, boys and girls. Scout has yet to Respawn, and I think he won't ever unless we win this fight." Soldier told everyone right before they split up.
...
"Eat my dust!"
Fem-Scout flipped off the Saxton Hale Robot as the latter chased the former over the garbage piles of Camp Coolie.
The mechanical combatant's weight and pure badassery was enough to spawn a crater wherever he lands after each hop.
"You'll never grab me! You'll never grab my tiny head! So tiny you're not gonna grab he with your bare hands!" Fem-Scout continued to taunt the Saxton Hale Robot while running away from him at the same time.
At one point, the female Bostonian batter launched a Sandman ball that hit the Saxton Hale Robot square in his head. But because the baseball didn't travel far enough, the mechanical combatant is merely unable to attack, he can still run and chase someone.
"Come on! I dare ya: rage quit! Make us both happy!" Fem-Scout taunted once more, as she tries to jump onto another pile of garbage to keep her distance from the Saxton Hale Robot.
However, Fem-Scout had miscalculated the distance to the next garbage pile, and ends up falling just a meter short of it and face-planted on the dirt.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" The female Bostonian batter berates herself for such a simple mistake, and tries to get up on her own.
A looming shadow being cast by the moonlight upon her tells Fem-Scout that the Saxton Hale Robot has caught up with her.
"Ah, cra..."
FRED Scout was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 24 players left.
...
"That just ain't right!" Engineer comments when an announcement (which somehow sounded identical to The Administrator's, despite her having left Mann Co after the REDs' defeat by the NEWs) announces Fem-Scout getting killed by the Saxton Hale Robot. "Girl's not gonna be Respawning unless someone destroy that robot!"
Engineer looked around to make sure that he isn't followed by the Saxton Hale Robot. Good for the Texan that he isn't.
With that in mind, Engineer begins constructing a Dispenser, "Dispenser goin' up!", followed by a Sentry Gun, "Sentry goin' up!".
All of a sudden, the sound of Heavy firing Sasha the Minigun can be heard echoing from a distance. Just a few seconds later, it is ended with the Russian mercenary's death cry coming from the same direction.
RED Heavy and FC Fatman were slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 22 players left.
"Darn..." Engineer cursed under his breath, as he gives the almost-completed Sentry Gun one last whack of his Wrench. "Its really hard 'ta remember that the Chinese mercenaries have no death cry. They die silently..."
FRED Engineer's Sentry Gun was slain by Saxton Hale Robot.
"Anyway, who or what's countin' the scores and announcing the kills?" Engineer wondered why there is still an announcement for each kill.
RED Demoman blew himself up with Stickybomb Launcher. FRED Demo-woman died a clumsy, painful death. 20 players left.
"Demo, m'lad, that there's why most bombers stay the heck away from alcohol..." The Texan quipped to thin air when he heard the announcement calling out the two Demos' accidental self-kills.
FRED Engineer was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 19 players left.
Something popped up in Engineer's mind right after he hears the latest announcement of Fem-Engineer's death. "Killing the weakest of the herd first? Son, I am impressed!"
It took the Texan a few more seconds to realize that Fem-Engineer's death cry came from just a few meters behind him. It didn't take him turning around to tell him that there's someone behind him.
"Argh, good night, Irene..."
RED Engineer, his Dispenser and his Sentry Gun were slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 18 players left.
...
Sniper had taken position behind a weathered advertisement board and made himself sure that he won't blow his own cover to the Saxton Hale Robot.
What irritates him about the plan is that FC Sniper who had somehow came across him behind the same advertisement board despite taking a different route was not having the same idea. It may be safe to assume that FC Sniper, or any Chinese combatants in general have no concept of camping or turtling. With that said, FC Sniper's constant flipping of her zippo lighter is pretty much calling out to the Saxton Hale Robot.
"Will you wanker cut that?!" Sniper whispered angrily to his Chinese counterpart, even while knowing that she wouldn't understand English anyway.
That is, if FC Sniper even heard that before getting squashed under the Saxton Hale Robot's mechanical feet.
FC Sniper was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 17 players left.
"Holy doolie!" The Australian gunman exclaims in surprise with the sudden appearance of the mechanical combatant. Sniper's response-by-reflex is to shoot at his head with the Sniper Rifle.
The shot does dislodge the Saxton Hale Robot's obviously-fake mustache. But other than that, he is completely unscathed.
"You may be Australian, but you're not even half the man I am!" The Saxton Hale Robot taunts, despite his mouth remaining completely still.
Sniper decided to just high-tail out of there. "Bloody hell!"
The Australian gunman soon realized that he had nowhere else to escape to at this point. Such a realization made him wished that he hasn't drank so much water in the evening...
Water! This word made Sniper remember that he just happened to have a jar of Jarate handy.
"JAAARATEEE!" With a loud yell, Sniper threw the Jarate he had toward the Saxton Hale Robot.
The jar of piss shattered upon impacting the mechanical combatant, splashing the liquid all over his body. This prompted the Saxton Hale Robot to look at himself with disgust.
Sniper reached for his SMG, and empties an entire clip on the Saxton Hale Robot. "Wish I have the bloody Bushwacka with me..."
The strange thing about shooting or stabbing someone that is covered in Jarate is that he or she is guaranteed to take Mini-Crits if not full Critical Hits. This manifested on the Saxton Hale Robot as several appropriately sized bullet holes on his metallic chest.
"Good one. But is that all you got?" The mechanical combatant said again, mouth still immobile despite the talking. The Saxton Hale Robot proceeds to throw a punch while Sniper is reloading his SMG.
"Ah, piss..." Sniper could only stare at the metallic fist coming straight for his face.
RED Sniper was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 16 players left.
...
It didn't take very long before the Saxton Hale Robot has come across Pyro, Fem-Pyro and Firebat, all three of whom are blowing their Flamethrowers at the mechanical combatant constantly.
The Saxton Hale Robot is not immune to afterburn, but that didn't stop him from caving in Pyro's skull with his metallic fists.
RED Pyro was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 15 players left.
Fem-Pyro quickly switched to the Axtinguisher and started whacking the Saxton Hale Robot with all her might. While being hit by the Axtinguisher weapon and being on fire at the same time means that the victim is guaranteed to take Mini-Crits, there is just not enough knockback to keep the Saxton Hale Robot from closing in for the kill.
The Saxton Hale Robot threw his fist, ready to take down Fem-Pyro with a punch...
...Until Firebat unexpectedly threw himself right in front of the punch, which he takes right in his chest.
Firebat was able to hand-signal Fem-Pyro to try and take the chance to run away, before massive internal injury ended his current life right there.
FC Firebat was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 14 players left.
Fem-Pyro took the chance to run away while taking potshots at the Saxton Hale Robot, who was just throwing Firebat's corpse aside, with her Detonator weapon. The flares of the Detonator doesn't make the mechanical combatant flinch, but at least it is dealing good damage unlike the other mercenaries' weapons un-boosted.
"You fight like a woman... Oh wait! You are a woman!" The Saxton Hale Robot said, again without moving his mouth, before giving chase to Fem-Pyro.
...
After spending about an hour running away from the Saxton Hale Robot in different directions, some of the remaining mercenaries of the RED Team, FRED Team and FC Team ended up back at where they started: right in front of the bunker entrance.
"Looks like we all ran in circles, buddies." Fem-Soldier points out the obvious.
It didn't take Soldier, Fem-Soldier and Rocket very long to note that their respective teams have decreased in numbers.
"Just as I thought, that robot with our former employee, Saxton Hale's face has disabled all our Respawn Modules, even FC Team's which have completely different designs, by just being here..." Soldier tells everyone his theory.
"This Mann Of Conspiracy and his cohorts, the NEW Team have overdone it by using your former boss as their unwitting pawns." Rocket expresses his opinion to both WW2 veterans.
The three sort-of team leaders turned toward what is left of their respective teams, expecting an offhand or deadpan comment from one of them.
None of them said anything. not even when the mystery announcer announces "FC Medical, FRED Medic and FRED Heavy were slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 11 players left."
"No one? Not a single comment?" Soldier hangs a lamp on the surprising silence.
Of course, that silence is soon broken by the death cry of Fem-Pyro from out-of-sight...
...Which came from just around the corner nearby.
FRED Pyro was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 10 players left.
"That guy... thing is right next to us!" Soldier exclaims, as he fires a rocket at where the death cry came from.
The Saxton Hale Robot turns around the same corner just in time to be hit by the rocket. As expected, it doesn't do much against him.
"The name's Saxton Hale [Robot]! Australian..." The Saxton Hale Robot tries to quip before continuing with his programmed killing spree.
"Former CEO of what used to be Mann Corporation!" Fem-Soldier daringly interrupts the mechanical combatant mid-sentence and proceeds to unload her Shotgun on him.
Saxton Hale Robot only gives a deadpan stare to the female veteran before approaching her and attempts a punch...
...Which was conveniently intercepted by Medic, who had also popped his Ubercharge at the last minute, causing the metallic fist to bounce off him.
"I am ze ubermensch!" Medic, while Ubercharged, proceeds to flip off the Saxton Hale Robot, pointing two middle fingers while doing the famous "Pop It, Don't Drop It" taunt.
The insane German doctor's insane action prompted the other mercenaries to take several steps back. They continued watching the Saxton Hale Robot just standing there, not making any responses to Medic's taunt.
FC Team's Technician (Chinese rip-off of Engineer) ran into the scene to rejoin his comrades, and became bewildered when he saw Medic's taunt and the Saxton Hale Robot's response (or lack of thereof) to it. Rocket gives him the look that says he has the same idea about it.
"Hey, shouldn't we be taking this opportunity, mates?" Fem-Sniper reminds the others.
Pretty much all the remaining mercenaries except Medic gave each other the look that says "I agree." and proceeds to unload their Primary Weapons at the Saxton Hale Robot.
The mechanical combatant still doesn't do anything about his current situation, until Medic's Ubercharge finally wore off.
Medic stopped his taunt, and looked at himself, before turning back toward the Saxton Hale Robot. "Uh, you are ze ubermensch?"
The Saxton Hale Robot proceeds to land a karate chop without uttering another word, splitting the insane German doctor in half.
RED Medic was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 9 players left.
"You're next!" The Saxton Hale Robot said to the remaining mercenaries.
The mechanical combatant raised his fist again, and threw it at the direction of Soldier's face.
Soldier cowered, and tries stupidly to shield his face with his own hands.
The punch never landed, it stopped short of his face.
Turns out that's because there's a Sapper and Red Tape Recorder attached to the Saxton Hale Robot's back, immobilizing him mid-punch.
"Do you think you could forget about us?" Spy and Fem-Spy uncloaked behind the mechanical combatant.
"Thanks, Frenchies, I owe the both of you one each." Soldier thanked the two masters of disguise, before he turns toward the remaining REDs and called out "Now's the chance!"
"Give him hell, boys and girls!" Fem-Soldier calls out to the remaining FREDs similarly.
"Ba Ta Zha Ge FenShengShuiGu!" [Blow him to pieces!] Rocket called out in Chinese, but soon realizes that he and Technician are pretty much the only FC Team mercenaries remaining. "Sha le ta..." [Just kill him...] Rocket embarrassingly tells Technician to give a hand.
Taking their opportunity with the Saxton Hale Robot being immobilized, the REDs, FREDs and FC Team mercenaries ganged up on the mechanical combatant with their weapons. Fem-Sniper had threw a jar of Self-Aware Beauty Mark at the Saxton Hale Robot to make sure he receives at least Mini-Crits from all hits, while Spy and Fem-Spy spammed backstabs as fast as the games allow (The Saxton Hale Robot seems to have a built-in Razorback that is also reusable). Technician's Turret Gun (Chinese rip-off of Engineer's Sentry Gun) fired bullets-after-bullets at the mechanical combatant.
Rocket throwing his Hatchet at the Saxton Hale Robot was the last straw for him. The mechanical combatant drops on his knees, uttering "Saxton... Hale..." before falling on his back, with the Hatchet buried right in the middle of his metallic chest.
Saxton Hale Robot was slain by FC Rocket. Mercenaries win!
"We did it, everyone!" Soldier cheered loudly upon hearing the announcement. "All of you deserves a medal!"
"And that is why all robots are maggots!" Fem-Soldier throws a one-liner at the Saxton Hale Robot. "Saxton Hale or not, that thing should've stayed as a pile of nuts and bolts!"
"We use weapons to make peace!" Rocket repeats his catchphrase in English. "But that doesn't mean we won't use them against warmongers!"
The remaining mercenaries, having nothing to say on the matter (due to having the figurative spotlight stolen from them), remained silent. Technician can be seen nonchalantly packing up his Turret Gun not unlike how Engineer packs up his Sentry Gun.
The mercenaries turned toward the bunker entrance to see those who were killed by the Saxton Hale Robot in the battle, having just Respawned, walking out of it.
"Pop quiz! How long does it take to beat a moron to..." Scout, seeing the Saxton Hale Robot disabled and lying on the ground, attempts to vocally taunt him with one of his "pop quizzes", only to be interrupted by Fem-Scout, Engineer and both Heavies simultaneously smacking him on the back of the head.
"You did enough, knucklehead..." Fem-Scout told her male counterpart.
"He laid you out first, buddy..." Engineer reminded the Bostonian batter.
"Scout is tiny baby man..." Heavy chews him out for what he was just attempting.
"...And discredit to team..." Fem-Heavy continues the massive Russian's chewing out.
The other mercenaries have nothing else to add about Scout, who just looked at everyone and complained "Jeez!"
"So now, what do we do with him?" Spy asked Soldier about the now-disabled Saxton Hale Robot.
"You said that there's a part of Hale that's resisting the controls of the NEWs' boss, right?" The WW2 veteran told the Frenchman. "I'm going to try and ask what's left of him some question.
With that, Soldier approached the mechanical combatant with his Shovel ready at hand.
"Mr Hale?"
No response came from the Saxton Hale Robot.
Soldier took a closer look at the mechanical combatant. Rocket's Hatchet was embedded itself in between the of in the Mann Of Conspiracy etching on the metallic chest. The half-organic face is that of Saxton Hale's, barring the dislodged fake mustache that probably forcefully replaced his real one.
The veteran noticed that the mechanical half of the robot's face isn't physically welded ("if that's the right word..." Soldier thought) to the organic half. With a swing of his Shovel, Soldier tore off the metallic half of the face, which turned out to be just a faceplate over an organic face. Saxton Hale's real face was not harmed one bit barring his real mustache being forcefully removed by his unwilling transformation.
That whacking woke up Saxton Hale - the real Australian Chuck Norris himself and not the robotic mind that possessed him.
"Mr Hale?" Soldier asked once more.
Saxton Hale stayed lying on the ground and did not get up. He simply uttered two words softly: "Kill me..."
"I know how much you are suffering, Mr Hale..." Soldier, in a really rare case, showed compassion to someone he battled about a minute ago. "But I need to know about the ones who did this to you."
"You... do... not... understand... what... I am... suffering..." Saxton Hale struggled to even speak, and even coughed in between some of the words.
"I know what you are suffering from, and I suffered a worse one before I started working for Mann Co." Soldier tells the testosterone-fueled Australian who isn't so badass anymore in his current state. "If you really choose death over this suffering, at least tell me what I need to know first..."
"Then we might be able to avenge you with that information." Rocket adds in to the statement.
"You saw how NEW Team have women in their ranks, and they kicked our ass just as easily as their men." Fem-Soldier does too. "So why not let me prove that women can also fight in the Copycat Wars?"
Saxton Hale remained silent for a while, before he tries to speak a string of words with struggle to the mercenaries.
"Anythium... did this... to me... Mann Of Conspiracy... is building... an army of... *cough cough* and... he really... is... G..."
And that's it. The awesome and undefeatable Saxton Hale has been defeated by battle wounds and forced transformation. The Australian Chuck Norris took his last breath and died right there.
The REDs and FREDs stared at Saxton Hale for a few more seconds, expecting him to come back to life with his sheer badassery. He didn't.
"I guess Mr Hale is truly dead, lads..." Engineer said.
...
Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.
"As expected, the REDs, FREDs and their newest allies, the Final Combatants came out victorious against Saxton Hale..." The Mann Of Conspiracy commented with expectation after watching live footage of the mercenaries' fight with Saxton Hale Robot.
No one else was present in the Bridge of the Carrier Airship, except for Christian Brutal Sniper standing next to the shadowy figure, watching the same set of footages being played on holographic screens.
"I will give you a hint, Mann..." Christian told the Mann Of Conspiracy. "With each victory they achieve, you are one step closer to seeing the NEW Team's defeat at their hands."
"I know..." The shadowy figure replies to the Sniper Freak.
Christian gave the Mann Of Conspiracy the look. "If you are so sure of your plans, then do you want to send another Freak after them?"
The Mann simply raised a finger. "Of course, Christian, of course. But not right now..."
Afterwords
Well, well. Looks like another Freak battle is in bound. But since Painis Cupcake has been defeated several chapters ago, who will this new Freak be?
And what was it about the Mann Of Conspiracy that Saxton Hale tried to warn Soldier and gang about?
"...and... he really... is... G..."
G? Would that be the G-Man, or would it be someone from TF2 or Final Combat whose name begins with the letter G?
Aaand there goes Saxton Hale, unfortunate victim of the Mann Of Conspiracy and his creations. At least he went down with a fight first...
Sheesh, this Anythium that the NEWs' boss uses is quite an interesting metal. Quite frankly, it even seems to surpass Australium in the ways it can be used...
Also, it was only just a few hours before the uploading of this chapter (on 25th of July, 2015) that I learned more about the Final Combat cast. Turns out that 1)Not all Final Combatants are Chinese. FC Medical is actually British-Japanese (yet speaks Chinese with a mainland accent anyway); 2)FC Striker, aside from being not North Korean, is pretty much identical to NEW Striker! Mann Of Conspiracy was created before I even knew what playable classes were in Final Combat!; and 3)FC Team's rip-off of Engineer isn't actually called Technician, its Mechanism...
Shout-out index:
"Give me your face!" - This one came straight from Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. You might know about it.
"Pop It, Don't Drop It!" - "A popped Uber is always better than a wasted one." - Krunkidile, "Pop It, Don't Drop It", Team Service Announcement. Thanks, Krunkidile...
That is all. "Good night, punchline..."