How to spend your afterlife (HTSYAL)

Authors Note:
Thanks again for reading! I was so shocked to get any response at all, it really brightened my day!
Just one thing before I kick this chapter off, I named Ino's mother Haruka because its never mentioned in the manga or anime. I did base her appearance off the anime though. This chapter was surprisingly hard to write, but next chapter will be the real starter. The prologue and this one was mainly to just set a baseline for details like family. Next chapter is a time skip (a small one) and we'll see some proper interaction!
Thanks again for reading!

Chapter 1

With a bored sigh, that sounded more like a bubbly huff, I hit the toys hanging above me. They clashed with each other and the small bells inside them rang throughout the room. It wasn't a particularly pleasant sound and I had quickly grown tired of it. However, baby toys are limited and well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. To make the time go quicker I had even tried to come up with songs or beats but my hands were still uncoordinated at best and I just sounded like a crazy baby that liked her bells too much.

Oh well. It's not like you can really make music with the sound of plastic slapping plastic and cheap bells being thrown around.

I had tried to tell myself that art was subjective and beauty in the eye of the beholder but there just simply wasn't any to be found in my little project.

Despite the racket I was making, my mother was doing well in ignoring me. Well, she wasn't exactly ignoring me but rather chatting excitedly on the phone to someone in the next room. Though she wasn't far away, the walls muffled her speech and I had long since given up trying to eavesdrop. I contemplated crying to get some attention, a habit I had fallen into, but I knew I would feel bad interrupting her conversation. I had accepted earlier on that if I wanted to stay sane in this tiny, unmoveable prison then lowering myself to a baby's behaviour was necessary. Besides, technically I was acting my age. Just not my ….mental age.

A few weeks into my new life I caught on to some facts about my parents. Number one, neither were ninja despite their knowledge of chakra. I found this out because of my mother's habit of summoning a clone to help her with chores and her "secret" kunai stashes. Retired was the only way I could think to describe them. Number two was that my dad's job held him back late and he came home stressed and with a heaviness to his eyes. Conclusion; my dad's seen some shit. Maybe it was because I was only a baby, but my parents never made any effort to introduce me to the world of ninjas. No weapon mobile hanging above my head, no chakra training and they would even avoid talking about the subject while around me. That just made me even more curious about the unseen world. Like hell, who wouldn't want to be a freaking ninja?

Which brought me to my current challenge. Did I want to change the future of the Naruto world? Did I even own the right to do that? I mean, it all works out in the end, right? People are lost on the way, people who didn't deserve to die, but it was all for the best. …Right? Had I been sent here to change what happens? Hell, I didn't even know what generation I had been born into. What if everything had already happened?

I had been musing for so long that I didn't notice I had fallen asleep. At first I didn't notice hands scooping me up from the floor but the familiar warmth had me stirring awake. I opened my eyes to find my mother smiling mischievously down at me.

Oh boy that cannot be a good sign.

I had learnt that whenever my mother smiled at me like that it meant she was going to try something new with me. In the beginning this excited me but after being forced to take uncomfortable bathes, listening to her repeat the abc's a thousand times and be forced to sit through a marathon of bad toddler shows I realised it was a sign of danger.

Oh Gods no, if I have to hear another ninja sing about a mouse running up a clock I'm going t-

My threat was cut short when my mother started to skip- skip- to the door.
"I think it's about time we introduce you to the rest of your family!" she said cheerfully stopping at the door. She wrapped me up in my blanket leaving me feeling like a trapped animal and very confused.

Burrito-baby in hand and purse in the other, we locked the house and arrived on the main street in minutes. My brain was assaulted with a huge variety of senses. I could smell the cooking octopus from a street vendor, feel the gentle heat of the blaring sun and hear the lively chatter of people all around me. With the restriction of the comfy prison I was wrapped in, I was only able to see what was directly in front of me and to the right of my mother. Still, the diversity of the colours hit me hard and I felt my eyes widen with a mix of surprise and wonder. With a squeal of pure enchantment I tried to take in everything that was rushing past me. Seeing, my look of utter marvel at the simple things around me, my mother slowed down her pace to a relaxed stroll. With the things surrounding us a little less of a blur, I let out a gasp at their details. Colourful people dressed in silks, uniform, and casual dress weaved around us like a river full of rainbows. People of all different sizes, some grumpy, some enjoying the weather, some reprimanding naughty children and some looking like they had just had the best day of their life. I sure as hell knew this was my best day ever.

By the time we arrived at our destination, my eyes had grown red and looked ready to fall out from holding them open too long.

"Right on time." My mother gave a satisfied nod as she checked her watch. I raised my weary head to the shops purple sign. The symbols caused memories to stir just below the surface of my mind but it was like reaching for water below a frozen lake. You needed weight or at least a pickaxe to get below it, which the current me didn't possesses either of. Nevertheless, the flowers decorating it made it easy to guess. Mother and child-burrito stood in front of a newly built flower shop with fresh flowers lining his golden walls. Villagers passing by couldn't help but stop and observe the abundance of beauty and nature practically spilling out of the shop. With the confidence that confirmed my suspicions that this was our final stop, my mother strolled in and right up to the counter.

Once again my poor nose was attacked by new and intriguing smells that caused me to sneeze adorably. Though really, it was hard not to be lovable while you were a clueless baby. My sneeze alerted the brunette behind the counter and she looked up to see her new arrivals. A soft smile graced her motherly features and she pushed the flower she had been arranging to the side to get a better look at us.

"Oh Inami, good afternoon. You're looking well." My mother, Inami, positively beamed at her sweet greeting and I could practically feel her heart swell with excitement.

"It's been too long Haruka!" Inami greeted back. The woman Haruka, laughed good naturedly and agreed. She had long brown hair tied up into a classy bun that framed a regal face. A chat instantly sprang up between the two and I went unnoticed for a good few minutes.

I suppose I shouldn't have been offended by my mother getting distracted with a friend but I felt a childish jealousy bubble up. This little adventure had been fun but what was the point of bringing me if you were just going to forget about me.

I'm adorable woman, brag about me or something!

With a horrible attempt at a raspberry I successfully brought their attention back on me. Ignoring the fact my raspberry was pathetic and I was a shame to all trouble-making children, I let my actions sink in.

3…2…1…and blast off.

With thrilled shrieks of delight they both begun cooing over me and taking it in turns to list different ways to describe cute. Feeling smugger about my plan working than actually being called cute I huffed contentedly.

"Oh just look at her cheeks!" Haruka said reaching down to my face.

Oh Gods here we go again. Just do it. Get it out of your system.

Just like I predicted, her hands tugged, poked and prodded my cheeks while laughing about the expressions I made in silent acceptance. I was seriously starting to get worried about my cheeks. Yes I was a baby, but with the level of excitement adults gained while looking at my cheeks I was starting to wonder just how big these things were.

My mother just laughed along proudly while mercilessly subjecting my cheeks to her friend's playful tugs. When she was finally finished with my cheeks, they were sore and I wanted nothing more than to go home and massage them. Alas, we were not finished here.

"So where's your little angel?" Inami questioned not bothering to hide her excitement. As if jolted awake, Haruka let an eager smile spread across her regal features.

"She's taking her afternoon nap but," She glanced at the clock behind her, "She should be just about to wake up. Wait here, I'll be but a moment." She winked at Inami and gave me a small wave as she spun elegantly around and disappeared behind a door to her left.

Only seconds after she left we heard a small whine and some gentle hushing before her footsteps started back into our direction. Soon she emerged with a bundle blankets and some soft looking blonde hair peeking out the top of it. I made a sound of stunned excitement, swivelling my head to try and get a better look. Chuckling at my interest Haruka moved closer so that my face and the bundle were inches away.

I held my breath as a pale face reluctantly emerged from her cocoon. Two misty blue eyes settled on my gaping face and she pouted in confusion. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and the girl across from stared at me disapprovingly.

I know that face! That haughty attitude!

I began to wriggle my body roughly and startled my mother who almost dropped me in surprise. With a burst of effort and a sound of triumph, I wrestled my left hand free and reached over to blonde across from me and …

Pap

Everyone seemed to freeze as my hand landed softly on the blonde's forehead who stiffened at my advance. She looked from the pudgy baby-hand on her forehead to the stern face I was shooting back at her.

You will have to deal with some lazy people in your life. Stay strong young grasshopper.

A look of deep understanding passed between us and an eternal bond over future hate over laziness was born. It was beautiful. Her tongue poking outside her mouth with effort, she too untangled her arm from the mass of blankets she was enveloped in. With a determined look on her face, she reached her chubby little arm over the side to return the gesture with a level of grace no one year old should be capable of.

Pap

Sparkles in our eyes we broke away from each other with content smiles on our faces.

I'm not alone. Someone will be there to help me yell at people. The world is a beautiful place.

When I looked up at my mother's face though I almost choked on my spit. Both she and Haruka had their mouths hanging open as they stared down at us. There was no doubt in my mind they were puzzling over what they had just witnessed transpire.

I don't blame you mother. No mere mortal could have understood what had just transpired. Don't feel bad. I snorted in amusement. This seemed to shake them out of there trance and with flustered laughs they tried to brush the whole experience off.

"Oh my, well. It seem they're…" Haruka started before trailing off helplessly.

"…Getting along already!" My mother finished, seeing as there was a lack of a better word. Haruka almost jumped at the suggestion, relief that Inami was okay with overlooking the weird event. Putting the event behind her remarkably fast my mother started the real introductions. I was really only half-listening seeing as I already knew the two people in front of me but something in her words caught my attention.

"This is Haruka Yamanaka and her gorgeous daughter, Ino Yamanaka!" My mother said lifting me slightly higher so that I may seem both of them. In a voice mimicking mine she continued,

"Hi Ino! My names Ruka Kurogane! I hope we can be best friends!" My face scrunched up in unconcealed offence as our parents laughed at my mother's poor imitation.

I will not sound like that. I though probably a little too intensely. However, my mother's words hit me as I sulked.

Ruka Kurogane. My face softened to bafflement as I realised that, until now I hadn't paid attention enough to even hear my name. And let me tell you, it was surreal. I couldn't remember what I had been called in my previous life, only that it certainly wasn't this.

So… Which one was the real me? I questioned as I gazed up at my mothers face. Neither had noticed my reaction and the subject had switched to some mundane mother talk. In fact, the way they leaned closer, covered their mouths, eyes darting around suspiciously, you could assume they were gossiping.

Great, here I am contemplating my existence and mother is having a mothers club. They're probably gossiping about what the letterman did with the pretty tailor. What did he do? He probably gave her the usual daily paper. Like y'know, his job.
Soooooooo scandalous.

I gave a dignified, dignified I say, gurgle and looked over to see two teal irises watching me with a knowing look. The kind of look my father gives me when I make some random sounds and gesture wildly and yet he still knows exactly what I want. The Hyuuga's may have the Byakugan, the Uchiha their fancy Sharigan, but damn these Yamanaka's have something else entirely. Right now Ino was looking at me like she could read my every thought through my expression. Her lips were curved into what I could only describe as a failed attempt at a smirk. All the same, it was an expression that said she had dealt with this many times before and she could sympathize.

I always knew I liked Ino. Maybe even enough to stay friends with her through the Sasuke phase. …Maybe.

Ino settled back into her mother's arms with a sigh and I was left to my own devices once again. With nothing better to do, I looked around the shop I was in. There was so much flowers that you could imagine it wasn't a room full of flowers but instead a room built around hanging flowers. There was a breathtaking amount of colours mixing and clashing with each other and the smell was an intoxicating combination of sweet and fresh.

But the smell was so strong. In fact, the scent did more than tickle my nose, but rather molested it. I felt my muscles stiffen, my breath hitch and I swear, I went blind for a second. All the while I silently suffocated, I felt terror and dread practically burn in my bones. And here I thought dyingwould be the most horrible experience. But this sure as hell proved me wrong.

With horrible certainty, for a moment I felt a demon rip at my insides trying to get out in the form of liquid sandpaper through my nose. It was the most painful sneeze I had ever had the unfortunate luck of experiencing.

All heads whipped to me in complete astonishment as I blinked blearily in the aftermath.

Was the room spinning? Yes. It was definitely spinning.

Worry written all over her face, Inami pulled me closer. The Yamanaka's peered over concerned but weren't sure if it was safe to get closer – Not that I could really blame them of course. I felt thoroughly violated from that sneeze.

"Gosh, honey are you okay?!" My mother asked, anxiety lacing her tone. I know she wasn't expecting a comprehensible response, but I gave it a try anyway. Naturally it came out more like a pained squeak than anything remotely intelligible, but it was enough for her anyway.

"I think," Haruka started looking unsure, but becoming more confident as she looks from the flowers to me.

"I think she's allergic to flowers." The statement had my mother nodding in agreement, me wailing and Ino giggling hysterically.

I, a future ninja, was allergic to flowers. Could this day get any worse?!

So, in hindsight, you should never challenge an omnipotent being. It's a very bad idea because they will prove you wrong. And boy did this one prove me very, very wrong.