(I'm so sorry for how late this chapter is! Warnings for really, really bad puns. You have been warned.)

Chapter 2

See, omnipotent beings are like that annoying friend no one wants to hang out with because they question everything you say; do not know the meaning of exaggeration or sarcasm and will fight you for anything.

So basically you're not friends. They hate you. And you really, really, shouldn't give them any chance to prove you wrong. As a veteran of bad decisions, both in the last life and probably in the future of this one, I can guarantee it's a bad idea.

Sensing it would probably be bad to linger in a shop filled with the source of my newly-discovered allergies, my mother brought us back onto the main street. She was rocking me soothingly and her arms felt like comfortable clouds drifting across the sky. I felt much better after the attack on my nose was finished and was excited for this expedition to be over despite the friendship I had gained. Finding you're allergic to one of the prettiest things in the world really kills the mood. Before long, my eyes had fallen closed and I accepted the fact I wouldn't be able to absorb everything around me while I was recovering from a battle wound.

Feeling my mother stop, yet being surrounded by noise and smell most certainly not of my home, I peeked my eyes open in curiosity. Facing upwards earnt me a view of my mother's chin and a wood ceiling. As interesting as the brown wood and chin was above me, I swivelled around in my cocoon to take in the setting. We were in a bustling tea house with friendly waitresses hurrying around, sweet smells wafting from the kitchens and grandparents sipping away at tea they hadn't realised was already finished. It was an oddly welcoming place, what with all its diverse guests and delicious looking candy. Kind of reminded me of a rich grandmas 50th.

My mother had begun to seat herself at a table near the back and was readjusting me in her arms when a looming figure came into view.

"Oh just look at those round cheeks!" A lady in her forties all but squealed above us. And yet once again, my concern for the state of my cheeks heightened dramatically. My mother was startled and I winced in pain at the screechy voice. As if she were a wolf howling to her pack, a group of ladies the same age ambled towards us in a slightly terrifying frenzy. I gurgled panicked, and looked up to my mother to attempt to send her a message of immediate evasive manoeuvre, but my mother's expression cut my plans short. While she had been surprised at first, her mouth was quickly forming into an almost smug grin.

"Which ones?" She asked nonchalantly as she expertly flipped me over to show off my tiny backside snuggled into a blue cotton onesie.

Mother no.

The pack of women cackled wildly and circled our table as I found myself once again on my back, trapped in my blanket burrito once more and surrounded by woman with a tendency for bad jokes and gossip.

"Honey, they're bigger than mine!" A senile looking one said. They exploded in laughter again as I cringed and groaned. This was bad. Really bad. If only someone could step in and jus-

"May I be so bold as to join in with you damsels?" a deep voice caught everyone's attention before more atrocities could be committed. All eyes traced to the lean figure standing in a mockingly proper fashion behind my mother. My mother's eyes lit up with mirth but before she could greet him, a hyena answered his question.

"You can join me tonight, if you'd like." She forced an eyelid covered in cheap make up to wink, succeeding to make it look much harder than it should be. The women broke into fits of giggles and phrases like 'Oh no you didn't' while the new arrival chuckled along. If my body was capable, I promise you I would have face palmed. I managed a cringe instead but quickly replaced it with a look of awe as the stranger sat in the seat across from us. The hyenas spied an attractive young waiter passing by and rapidly changed their targets, their cackles taking a moment to fade away. My mother paid them polite goodbyes but the man in front of me held my full attention. It became immediately obvious who this man was with his familiar black curls and dark eyes full of vitality. For a moment his gaze locked onto mine and I could have sworn I was looking into the eyes of a tiger.

Crinkling his sharp eyes with a toothy smile he leaned forward. My instincts had me almost moving back but his eyes held me in place.

"Nice to meet you little lion!" His gaze turned soft and friendly, the furnace in his eyes lowering to a pleasant camp fire. My mother scoffed at his pet name while I simply blinked at him.

"Your choice in names is as poor as ever Mamoru. How can I trust you to name my future niece or nephew?" He pouted childishly at my mother's comments but there was a spark of challenge in his eyes. "Besides my Ruka's a princess- a lover not a fighter." Mum declared haughtily. I turned to look at my mum questioningly while Mamoru snorted and replied,

"A princess will have to toughen up if she wants to become a ninja." He laughed heartily. His smile was infectious and I made a few babbling sounds akin to laughter. Still, my mother was apparently immune to the jolly air he possessed as I felt her tighten her arms around me.

"Ruka won't be on a battlefield." She said decisively as I shifted my gaze back up to her. What could she mean I wouldn't be on a battlefield? It's hardly something a ninja, even a medic nin, can avoid. It seems my uncle shared my confusion as he went on to ask his sister how that was possible.

"It's simple, Mamoru. She won't become a ninja," Her voice didn't shake but it had lost a bit of its confidence. My eyes bulged and I snapped them, or rather rolled them – I couldn't move my neck that well yet – back to my mother. I was once again rewarded with a marvellous view of her chin that she held remarkably steady considering she seemed almost unsure of her early declaration. Mamoru kept the bafflement on his face out of his voice as he prompted her for the specifics.

"Saito and I have made the decision together that we won't bring Ruka into that world. She won't be attending the Academy." She kept her voice firm even if she looked uncomfortable talking about the subject. Mamoru still looked taken aback by her words but seeing the growing tension in her eyes, wisely backed off and changed the subject.

"Well Matches it is then. She seems fiery," He said casually looking back at me with none of his earlier liveliness.

"I bet she'd make mean fried squid." He continued, adding an afterthought distractedly. "Or you know, a florist." At his last comment my mum began to laugh and told him the previous events of our outing. He blinked as he took it in and that familiar smirk found its way back across his face.

"Well, hey. No loss there; if she's anything like you she'd probably manage to set the place on fire while trying to prune a plant or two." His eyes sparkled mischievously, daring her to respond to his taunt. I watched my mother's eyes light up with relief and their banter picked up.

With the tense situation diffused, the two adults chatted happily as if nothing happened. They ordered some tea and birthday parties were planned. My cheeks burned and I felt my tiny fingers clench into a fist. It was childish to sulk like this, but not being able to even protest to the life my parents were choosing for me made me incredibly frustrated. I hated the idea that I wasn't going to live my life to fullest in this foreign world. I have an opportunity to become a ninja! A goddamn frickin ninja! And yet, my parents weren't even going to give me the chance to prove myself! I don't remember being very athletic or fit in my last life, but I never particularly had any motivation to be. Now, I had the chance to start from a completely clean slate and begin training myself early. With two ninjas for parents, surely I could expect some kind of decent build, right? Hell, I might even turn out to be buff! I could have a wrestlers build but sell ice cream to small children that would keep asking me if I was an ogre! I don't want to frighten small children, I don't want that kind of life!

I could be a ninja and you want me to be a food vendor?!

With an indignant grunt and an irritated squirm, I reminded my mother I had never been out of the house for this long. Apologising to her brother and readjusting me, we bid our farewells. Before we did however, Mum let Mamoru cradle me. His arms were muscly and I nestled into his the crooks of his arms comfortably. His eyes were bright with amusement and helped melt some of my anger away. I gurgled something on the intended lines of "Your cool" and he just chuckled at my baby antics. As a goodbye he reached his free arm over to me and with his index finger bopped my nose.

"Boop," He said playfully as mum cooed at my crossed eyes. Before he could pull his finger away, my hand expertly wound its way out of the folds of my burrito and grabbed his finger. I clutched his finger as tight as I could and I saw his eyes flash back to a tigers. He smiled, his eyes still predatory but with a spark of pride rippling in them.

"I'll see you next time, Matches." He reassured me with a wink. Reluctantly I let his finger loose when he gently tugged it back. I watched him with my head on my mums shoulder as we walked away and I saw his features mould back into a friendly passer-by. As a woman in a red apron dragged a crying toddler by, I lost sight of him for a second and when I looked again, he was gone.

Damn Ninjas.

I needn't bother you with most of the mundane details of my development into a child. Though really, the teething stage was not incredibly mundane but painful and awful and something I'm glad I didn't remember the first time around. Learning how to walk was horribly complicated as well, what with none of your limbs responding properly to you yet. But don't get me started on the ordeal of learning how to go to the toilet again. Controlling the bladder of infant is nigh impossible, no matter how many years you spent in full control of it in the last life. It was a deeply traumatic experience. So when I say I don't need to tell you the mundane details of my life, I mean I don't want to tell anyone of the embarrassing and haunting experience of early human development.

I'll add some things that kept the next 3 very boring years of my life bearable with you. I finally got to see myself in the mirror and study my new appearance. My hair wasn't a fast grower so I just had tufts of hair my mother attempted to weave ribbons in for at least the first year or so of my life. It was the colour of bleached sand like my fathers, curled and untamed like my mother's accompanied by two big ol' black jewels for eyes. They were round and glossy and I'll be damned if I'm not going to use them to my advantage.

And then there were my cheeks. Oh, my cheeks. I squeaked horrendously when my mum first started dressing me in front of mirrors. If I was an animal, I would have been a blowfish. Until I was 3 years old, my cheeks were only matched by Akimichi clan members. No other toddler could hold a candle to my massively unproportioned cheeks. And yet, adults such as my parents went on too coo, tug, prod and stretch my cheeks without giving a single thought to see a doctor.

I thankfully didn't struggle with speaking or walking but learning how to write again was a real challenge. Weirdly, I didn't have trouble understanding the words of people talking around me, but learning kanji was annoying. They were all scribbly and complicated and my mind wasn't fresh and empty but hardwired to something completely different. It made things super complicated to say the least and neither of my parents could figure out why I was having such trouble with simple writing and reading when I could speak perfectly well. Or at least, as well as a toddler could speak – which wasn't saying much, mostly just basic sentences and the occasional unprompted burst of laughter. Still, it was a godsend my father didn't try poking around my head to find if it was a psychological issue. That was also surprising as well, seeing as I found out eventually my father Saito was a retired intelligence nin now working as a psychologist. I didn't see any developmental psychologists or even have any normal psychologists look at me. I think it was a matter of pride to the man – he, an intelligence nin, professor of the mind, couldn't even help his slightly slow child. I guess both my parents felt they wanted to raise their first child their own way and prove they didn't need any help. Though in the end, they were forced to enlist the help of uncle Mamoru to deal with the mess that was me.

To say I was a weird kid would be an understatement. I was more mature than most kids (Well look, I didn't have much competition really, 4 year olds don't have previous lives on their minds), I was speaking earlier and I was eager to read no matter how much I struggled. Mamoru and Ino were the only people I wanted to hang out with and I found myself introverted like in my previous life. Nevertheless, even with introvert as a best friend, Ino was still one of the most popular people I knew and I never had a shortage of kids to make daisy chains with.

I enjoyed spending time with Mamoru the most. As soon as I could form coherent sentences, I bugged my parents hourly to become a ninja. Sometimes I think they let Mamoru babysit me just so I could be satisfied with hanging out with a fully-fledged Jonin. Mamoru was ecstatic to hear about my career choice and without a shred of guilt began to teach me the basics I would need to get into the academy behind my parents back. He was quickly discovered however, after he helped me become aware of my chakra. Maybe it was because of my previous life lack of awareness, but opening my mind to the chakra in my body was a crazy experience. From as early as I can remember in my uneventful childhood, my uncle would bop me on the nose playfully. As a year or so past, I began to feel tingles on my nose whenever he did it. In fact, I would grab his finger as often as I could and feel the tingles that faded slowly from his finger. Occasionally, I'd concentrate very hard on the tip of my finger and then wack him on the nose back.

Do you still like damn your chakra now, huh?! I would attempt to say to him. Though really, with the extensive vocabulary I possessed at the time it was more like, "Here! You still like sparks now?" I don't think I was even conjuring any chakra at all, but it still felt good to flail my arms around in his face as revenge.

He would just laugh and ruffle my short hair saying, "Next time Matches, I'm sure you'll get it."

Eventually, that 'next time' came. When I was about three and half, my family was hanging out in our living room. Mum and Mamoru were chatting eagerly and judging from my mother's waggling eyebrows, nudges, elbows and uncle Mamoru's unmistakable blush, they were discussing a lady friend. Dad was rolling on the floor tickling me, or at least I was rolling away from him, trying to get away from the torture of tickling. Seriously, I hated that game. You're not laughing voluntarily and your squeals of distress are mistaken for ones of joy – it's an utterly despicable game. It was like any other day; I was screeching helplessly "NO-NO TICKL-LLES! NO DAAAD! NO TICKLING", and my father was oblivious to my plight. Even as a small child, I was finding my kicks could pack a strong punch if I was upset enough. So when dad leaned in too close, he quickly regretted it when my bunny slipper falcon punched him in the side. His loud and surprised 'oof' had my other two relatives turn to look in curiosity. Nonetheless, it wasn't my strong kick that startled anyone; just the fact I had successfully managed to unconsciously focus chakra into my foot when it made contact with his side. I didn't exactly hurt him, but I winded and stunned him enough to have him fall onto his side. I felt pretty bad about the whole falcon punch with a bunny slipper so I did what any self-respecting toddler would do. I climbed on top of my winded fathers back while he recovered and cried. I mean, that's totally toddler protocol. Maybe.

In a matter of minutes my dad was calming me down while my mum's mother instincts put two and two together and figured Mamoru was somehow involved with my unexpected chakra show. I don't even think she found out how Mamoru had been teaching me, nor did she probably care how. I didn't see my uncle for at least a week after that, but though he seemed slightly traumatised by mothers lecture, continued to sneakily give me hints to become a ninja.
"Matches, promise me you'll become an awesome ninja as soon as you can, okay? I'm not sure uncle's dignity can take anymore lectures." He'd whine to me like a pouty cat when I finally got to visit him again. I blew a raspberry at him and bopped him on the nose. I don't know if that counts as an affirmative but he got gist of it. Kind of.

Authors Note: Woot, I'm so glad that whole child development arc is out of the way. I'm so sorry for this one's length, I hope it's not too long for you guys. Seriously, if you guys want shorter or longer chapters just tell me! Again, I am so sorry this took so long to come out. This term of school hit me hard and exams even harder. BUT, I'm back! I go on holidays this week, so I've got way more time than usual. This chapter was actually supposed to be much shorter, but by the time I got to the end I realised I still had some other stuff to finish up so I had to split it. I also got bad writers block in the middle of this so I'm so sorry for its shittiness. "I needn't bother you with most of the mundane details of my development into a child." Proceeds to bore you guys with the details/ i'm sorry
Again, Thanks so much for reading! The next chapter will (I promise this time haha) be up within the week! Keep being awesome ^^