Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I only own the plot and Anzo

Sorry this took so long, it's a biggun

The Truth

"Memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking myself apart again" - linken park

"I'm really sorry," Alec apologized for what seemed like the hundredth time, "I can cancel if you want. Just say the word and I'll call Isabelle, In fact I'll-"

"-Alec seriously stop worrying, I'll be fine. I've put up with the asshole all my life, I can handle an evening."

Alec looked down flushed, "I know it's just…..I don't want you to get hurt."

Magnus smiled down at the other boy, admiring the way that the dying sun's ray's illuminated the delicate structure of his face and accentuated the blue of his eyes. "I'll be fine," he repeated, his voice soft but firm. Alec sighed but seemed to accept his boyfriend's decision.

It was a warm friday night and they were sat outside Magnus' house. Alec- who had originally planned to stay and meet the notorious Anzo Bane (something Magnus was not looking forward to)- had just received a phone call from his sister to say that they were having a family meal in less than an hour.

Although Magnus was sad that he didn't get to spend the evening with Alec, he was also pleased that the meeting between his father and boyfriend was being delayed. Anzo Bane was not known for his accepting nature. In fact his first words, after Magnus had come out as gay, had been "what the fuck did I do wrong." Magnus would be lying if he said it didn't still hurt, but he was used to it.

"You should go now darling," Magnus sighed, "you don't want to be late." Alec looked disappointed, but instead of arguing he just reached out and pulled Magnus down for a kiss. Magnus could barely keep himself from purring as Alec's lips moved passionately against his and fingers tangled in his hair. The kiss was over far too quick- in Magnus' opinion anyway- and before he knew it, he was sat alone on the front steps of his house.

His heart sank as he thought about having to go into the house without Alec. It was worrying how dependant he was on the boy, even though they had barely known each other for a month.

Quietly he twisted the brass door handle and switched to stealth mode. He tiptoed across the hallway- the thick carpet muffling his footsteps- not wanting his father to know he was home. Unfortunately, it seemed that Anzo Bane had been watching him for a while.

"Magnus," he called and Magnus felt his stomach tighten involuntary, "come in here, and bring your boy-toy with you."

Magnus frowned as he stepped into the room, "Alec," he emphasized, "has gone to spend time with his family. And he's not my "boy-toy" he's my boyfriend."

Anzo gave his son an incredulous look, his green eyes filled with contempt "whatever, it's still disgusting."

Magnus clenched his fist there were so many things he wanted to tell his father. He wanted to tell him that being gay wasn't disgusting, he wanted to explain how important Alec was and that although Anzo was his father, he would never be his dad.

But when he opened his mouth to say all that and more, he found that the sound wouldn't come out.

"Why are you still here, piss off" Anzo snapped, turning his attention back to the television. Magnus turned and ran towards his own private oasis trying to ignore the burning in his throat. When he was in his room, he fell onto his bed and curled into a tight ball amongst his pillows.

You would've thought that after years of his father calling him names, he would've grown accustomed to it, but it still hurt every time.

He winced slightly as something poked him in the shoulder as he shifted on the bed. Reaching under his covers he pulled the object out, to see it was his large tattered photo album.

He slowly flicked through it, but instead of the nostalgic happiness the album usually induced, he just felt lonelier than ever. He was a pathetic, isolated boy, who only clung obsessively to memories and struggled to move on.

He ran his fingers over his mother's frozen laugh and closed his eyes wistfully, sinking into sleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Small, delicate fingers clung to the hem of a teal blouse. Wide eyes blinked nervously, their iris' a frantic swirl of gold and green. The small boy clutched at his mother's side as they began their trek towards the brightly painted building ahead.

The woman looked down at her son, gently stroking his silky black curls, "don't be scared Buah Hatiku" she murmured, her voice smooth and melodic, "everyone will love you just as much as I do." The little boy looked up, his little fist still closed around her top.

"But mama, what if they don't. What if I do something wrong and they don't like me," his voice quavered slightly and his pink lips trembled.

His Mother bent down beside him and looked him right in the eye. "Now listen here Buah Hatiku and remember this. You must always be you. No matter what people say or do you must be true to yourself because you have a beautiful soul and beauty should never be covered or hidden. Be confident and people will want to be friends with you, for they will see you for who you are. So don't be scared Buah Hatiku, you are strong."

The boy seemed to drink in her words before letting go of her and standing up straight. They crossed the final stretch of concrete, stopping at a transparent door that was manned by a smiling brunette. "Hello there," the lady simpered her voice as sickly sweet as the pink roses on her dress. "I'm Miss Tyler, welcome to Watercleaves."

The boy's mother smiled and shook the woman's hand warmly. "Hello, I'm Sarwendah Bane and this is my son Magnus."

Remembering his mother's advice, Magnus stepped forward and firmly shook the lady's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Miss," he said, trying to sound as important as he could.

"Gosh what a charmer," she tousled his hair, "Mrs Bane you're welcome to come in and stay for his first day if you would like."

Sarwendah looked down at her boy questioningly. He smiled widely before saying, "don't worry mama, you go home. I'll be fine."

Then, before she could reply the dream crumbled into pieces before forming a new picture.

An older version of the same boy trudged dejectedly down the road towards his house. He held a limp piece of card in his hand and every so often he would glance down at the scrawled letters upon it and sigh.

He knew his parents would be mad at him about his grades, they had always expected the best from their son.

He pushed open the large gate at the end of his drive and kicked at the gravel. Running his fingers through his recently cut hair (he had gone with the classic boyband bowl cut) he hesitated before walking through the front door.

The house was warm- due to their careless use of central heating- and the faint scent of dinner wafted from the kitchen. Magnus started for the stairs but stopped and looked down at the report card- he may as well get the worst over with.

He strode towards the living room, already preparing a speech. He decided to go with the classic "I'm having trouble fitting in" excuse. This was actually true as it was hard to be accepted when you were a twelve year old boy who liked fashion more than football.

However when he entered the room all thoughts of his academic failure fled from his mind. On their stylishly tasselled couch sat his mother and she was in a sorry state. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and tears coated her cheeks and swarmed down her neck. He nose was red and her shoulders shook violently with suppressed sobs.

Magnus backed away scared. He wanted to go to her, hold her in his arms and tell her it was all okay. But he was frozen. Seeing his mother, who had always seemed so strong, break down was too much. Silently he walked from the room and away from her gasps.

That wasn't the last time he saw her cry. It happened often, no matter how many antidepressants she took or therapy sessions she attended.

Magnus grew to realize that he really didn't know his mother as well as he thought.

The picture broke and reformed again and this time the boy was a lot older.

He lay upon his massive four poster bed, contemplating the next day's outfit. He was going on another date with his girlfriend and he wanted to impress her. He cast his mind towards an electric blue blazer that would compliment Camille's platinum hair. It was about the right style for the occasion and it contrasted wonderfully with his exotic eyes. Magnus smiled, pleased and was about to begin on trousers when the front door slammed loudly and his parents shouts filled the house.

"It's none of your business who he is Anzo, so just leave it."

"NONE OF MY BUSINESS! This man has been transferring money into your bank account for the last ten years and it's none of my business."

"Exactly," Sarwendah sounded angry but behind that Alec could hear her terror. "He is just a friend who is kind to me because I helped him out many years ago-"

"-What did you do, suck his cock? Are you his whore? Is that why he's paying you." Magnus felt rage bubble in his stomach, how dare Anzo say such things.

"No he's just a friend," Magnus could definitely hear the fear now.

"Bullshit!" there was a crash as something fell over, "tell me who he is or I swear to god you'll be sorry."

"I-I have" there was a loud slap and a gasp of pain. That was the final straw. Magnus lept to his feet and raced towards the sound, his love for his mother stronger than his fear.

"Tell me," slap, "Who" slap "this bastard" slap "is".

Magnus was nearly at the stairs now, his heart racing in his chest.

A loud screech resounded through the empty hallways, accompanied by a loud crack. Magnus sped up. "Please," Sarwendah shrieked, "I'll tell you, I"

There was a pause before Anzo rumbled "Who. Is. He."

"Magnus' father."

The boy in question froze his feet poised above the first step.

"...what?" Anzo choked.

"He was- he is Magnus' real father." she sobbed "I didn't mean to do it, but I did and I swear we only did it once and I've hated myself since I just-"

Magnus could barely hear the footsteps or Anzo's whisper of "his father…." over the sound of his own heart beat.

His carefully constructed world began to break and shatter. Who was he. Magnus Bane? Or did he no longer have the rights to that name.

He could hear his mother sob and his father mutter below him, but they seemed far away as if he were in his own little bubble that numbed him from the rest of the world.

He stared down at his elegant fingers and the many rings that adorned them. The Bane family ring glared back at him, it's matrix of swirls and letters seeming foreign and out of place. He tugged it off, bloodying his knuckle in the process, and let it fall silently to the ground.

It was then that he realized that the volume in the kitchen had increased. "You cheating whore," his father yelled and Magnus remembered thinking this was slightly hypocritical, considering Anzo Bane's numerous affairs.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was a stupid mistake. I was angry with you and homesick and he was so charming, I thought-"

"-You thought what? That you could run away with him and be happy and free," there was another loud crash. "Well I bet you were shocked to find out he was just as big an asshole as me. He hasn't even tried to see Magnus. Just pays the minimum money every month. Maybe the reason you can't find a nice guy "dear" is because you don't deserve one." The entire speech was littered with kicks, screams and crashes, but at the end the worst noise of all rang out. A broken gasp and a thump.

His bubble burst abruptly and Magnus lept down the last few steps and rounded the corner to the kitchen.

The first thing he saw was his mother's eyes. He had seen many different things in those hazel depths over the years. Strength, courage, laughter, desperation, fear and a fragility that broke his heart. But the shame, regret and self-hatred that filled them then was by far the worst.

Then he noticed the already forming bruises and blood that mapped her coffee complexion. Her hunched position and the rip in her delicate summer dress.

Finally he saw the knife. It stuck out of her chest, buried to the hilt. A large cleaver with a mahogany handle. It looked bizarre and out of place against the floral patterned silk and smooth skin.

His mother tumbled slowly back into a heap on the floor, blood bubbling around the knife's hilt and seeping through her clothes. Magnus clutched at the air between them, still unable to fully process what had just happened.

"Sara," a voice behind him whispered brokenly. Magnus turned to face his father who stared down at his wife's limp body and gulped. Blood boiled in the younger man's veins and he cried out. It was a scream of pain, anger and overwhelming grief. The sound resonated through his head and echoed down the years to the boy who lay asleep in his bed. The truth had never been so loud.

The sleeping boy's eyes flew open and he writhed amongst his silk sheets, falling off the bed into a messy pile on the floor. His heart was thumping so hard his whole body seemed to pulsate. He struggled with his fabric bindings, drowning and trapped. Air rushed in and out of his body at an alarmingly fast pace, his lungs unable to work normally. Vision blurring and mind screaming he finally managed to escape from his sheets and lay back on the cold floor.

Memories rushed through his head, painfully vivid. Screams, shouts, hands and the truth. The horrible truth that pounded through his entire body.

Then he was running, without even making a conscience decision to. Along the carpeted hallway, down the grand staircase and towards the sound of laughter. His hands were shaking and it was a miracle he managed to get the door open.

If he had spared a minute survey the room he would have seen the rooms only occupant, a slim blond man, lounging on a heavily tasseled couch. His feet were propped up on the futon and a smile plastered his face as he watched people joke about on the massive flat screen T.V

But Magnus saw none of this. All he saw was red. He grabbed for the older man, securing his slender fingers around the other man's neck. "You bastard," he spat, tightening his grasp as they rolled from the couch and onto the floor. "How could you, I'm going to fucking kill you."

His father choked, his face turning red then purple. Blue eyes bulged in their sockets as he stared into the furious face of his son. "Please," he managed to splutter and after another second Magnus' fingers loosened. He was not a killer.

The anger seemed to drain from his long body and he got of his father and leant against the couch. They sat in silence, while Anzo gasped and spluttered.

"Why?" Magnus finally whispered, his smooth voice cracking, "Why did you do it? She never deserved it."

Blue eyes met his and for the first time in a long time, he could see love in their depths.

"I know, she never deserved it" he murmured, his voice just as broken, "but…..it was her choice."

Magnus froze, "her choice…." his voice went up a few octaves, "HER CHOICE?! You fucking stabbed her and it was her choice!"

Anzo gazed at his son in disbelief, "I didn't stab her, she drove that knife into her own chest. Without any warning or reason…..she just did it."

Magnus lost his breath. He couldn't take many more of these horrible revelations that kept appearing. So now his mother was not a victim of random thugs, nor killed by her husband, but suicidal.

He had always thought that suicide was a cowards way out, that it was selfish and cruel to those who loved you. Even when he had got heavily depressed and it seemed like too much, he'd never considered suicide. Had his mother really meant to kill herself, or was it an on the spot mistake. He couldn't forget the fact that at the time she was being abused and belittled by someone who was meant to love her. He hoped it was a mistake.

Getting to his feet he turned to face his father, "Maybe you didn't kill her," he spat, the fire from before reigniting, "but you might as well have".

Trying not to see the hurt look on Anzo Bane's face, Magnus sprinted up the stairs and away from the past.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Magnus kicked the empty, crumpled coke can and fiddled restlessly with his iphone. He had been wondering the streets randomly for a while, trying to distract himself from what he had found out a couple of hours earlier.

Part of the distraction process had been calling Alec multiple times and getting voicemail. He supposed that the boy was busy with his family meal but Magnus really needed him.

His mind seemed to be filled with anger and honestly, it scared him. Anger at his father for torturing his mother until she could take no more, anger at himself for being too cowardly to helped his mum and anger at her...for leaving her son without saying goodbye.

He clenched his fists and gave an angry yell. God. He needed to get rid of this anger and rage before it sent him insane.

He knew just the place.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alec sighed heavily and moved the phone away from his ear as his sister continued to babble. "I mean I wanted to meet up, but he's really cute and he couldn't do any other night. Plus I think mum was going to cancel anyway as she has a passionate affair with work that is waaay more important than anyone else and-"

"Okay Izzy," he interrupted wearily, "I said I'm not angry with you. We can meet another time. Have fun with that guy and don't do anything risky or dangerous." He could almost hear her roll her eyes. She hated lectures.

"Sure thing Alec, see ya soon, bye"

"Bye"

He hung up and dropped the phone on the bed beside him.

"Family problems?" a slightly mocking voice asked.

"No Jace, my sister just cancelled our meal we were going to have."

"Sooooooooooo you have nothing to do." Jace asked thoughtfully, tugging at his golden curls.

"Well I was thinking about going to Magnus'-"

"NO!" Alec jumped, surprised by his roommates loud exclamation and the slightly manic glint in his eyes.

"errr"

"No, you shall not go and faunicate with your lover," Alec spluttered in protest at this, but Jace ignored him. "Instead I will take you to places you have never been before. We will become as close as brothers and you will discover who you really are."

"Err Jace, I know who I am and we will never be brothers."

"Together we shall conquer every obstacle, brave any hardship and stand tall when many fall." The blond was standing on the bed now, his arms outstretched and his eyes glazed. "WE WILL BE UNBEATABLE!"

Alec frowned slightly, before he realized, "ooooh, I see. Clary's out with Simon and you've gone mad."

Jace jumped off the bed, looking slightly sheepish, "yeah…..so how about it bro?"

Alec glanced down at his phone and the empty message he had pulled up to send to Magnus. Biting his lip he snapped his phone shut and grinned at Jace, "why not."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Why have you brought me here," Alec scowled, staying as close to Jace as was socially accepted.

"It's an adventure," the blond grinned.

"No it's not. It's dark, crowded and it smells like piss and beer. I want to go home." They were crammed into a dimly lit room at a local bar with a weird name. It was unbelievably hot and filled with loud, rowdy men that didn't seem to know when to shut up.

Everyone seemed to be heading away from the bar and towards a small back room, that emitted loud jeers and yells. Alec was- against his will- being slowly pushed towards the room by the large crowd and it was making him feel extremely claustrophobic.

Jace by contrast seemed completely in his element. Clutching a large Jack Daniels, he thumped big butch men (that Alec hoped he actually knew) and whistled appreciatively at the attractive bartenders.

"Dude," he yelled to Alec over the increasing sounds from the smaller room, "You gotta see the fighting first, it's epic."

Alec's scowled deepened. He did not really like violence and had never got why some men felt the need to inflict pain on others in order to feel more "manly". However, he decided not to say anything to Jace as he didn't want to spoil his friends fun.

As they neared the fighting, Alec's dread grew and they were just about to come into view with it when Alec said, "Jace I don't think I want to see this it's." But Jace wasn't listening. He was staring ahead with a look of dumbstruck awe on his face.

Alec turned to see what he was looking at and his heart stopped. In a large poorly padded ring were two men, sweaty and shirtless. One was massive with incredibly broad shoulders and bright ginger hair. He limped slightly and circled the other man warily, as one would a wild beast. The other was tall and slim, his normally spiked hair falling into his face and a slight snarl on his lips.

"Is..that...Magnus?" Jace asked slowly, looking confused.

Alec felt the blood drain from his face, "yeah.." he whispered watching his boyfriend fight.
The broad man charged towards magnus and Alec gasped as a meaty fist flew towards his face. However Magnus seemed to have anticipated the move, as he simply grabbed the oafs fist and some how managed to use his momentum against him, so the man was flipped onto his back.

The crowd cheered and Alec was horrified to see a smirk on magnus' soft lips. The ginger stumbled to his feet and attempted another poorly planned attack on his opponent. This time Magnus spun and kicked him hard in the face (although he was barefoot) then drove a ring ladden fist into the other mans bulky chest. Finally he slammed his sharp elbow into the man's temple and watched him fall to the ground, unconscious.

Alec gulped and found himself backing away from the stranger before him. The Magnus he knew was sweet and funny and kind. Sure he was a bit of a loner and had a dark past, but he wasn't a sadist who was capable of such violence.

"Wow…..did you know your boyfriend was such a badass?" Jace breathed, admiration in his words.

"No," Alec choked, "I had no idea," and he ran.

A/N

Hey guys
Dramatic I know but…..yeah. So know Magnus knows how his mother died, he has upset Alec and stood up to his dad. Hopefully Alec will let Magnus explain….

I actually replied to all the reviewers via PM when I sent them a snippet for this chapter. I thought that snippet thing worked quite well and I will try it again on bigger chapters.
The endearment "Buah hatiku" is Indonesian for "fruit of my heart" and is often used to show affection for children.

Thanks for being awesome, lovely and delicious readers
Lots of virtual love
Amy
xxx