All I Ever Will Be
Chapter Fifteen - Aftermath
Author's Note: Couldn't keep you guys hanging on for too long after the last chapter! I've read a few different stories where Beth is written as weak and fragile, and I really wanted to write her with some fight in her for this story. I think she was an underestimated character, even from Daryl's perspective. After some time with Daryl and getting used to being out in the world, I feel like she'd learn to fend for herself and really have Daryl's back. I tend to think of them evolving into a Bonnie/Clyde type duo as opposed to Daryl just sheltering Beth. Also, I know I've been writing this from Daryl's POV but I think I might switch over to Beth's POV for the next few chapters - what do you guys think? [P.S. Happy Easter to those who celebrate and Happy Walking Dead Day!]
The world was still and Daryl's eyes were glued to the sky between the trees. It was so blue. Bright blue, just like Beth's eyes. He was on his back, his body shocked, unmoving. He was neither hot nor cold, pain hadn't settled into his nerves yet. There was smoke rising above him, clouding his line of vision, deep into the sky. And the heat - oh the heat was so intense. His eyes were watering against the element.
Above him stood Beth, on her feet, then on her knees, then on her feet again, tears spilling out of her eyes and onto her cheeks, onto the ground, onto him. She was screaming, but he couldn't hear her. His ears were ringing violently from the explosion. He watched Beth look around desperately but they were alone - so very alone. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have been so fucking distracted? He deserved it, he supposed, for not paying attention.
Her face was above his now, looking at him, her hands gripping the side of his face. She was breathtaking, even in her moment of panic. Her lips were saying his name, searching for a sign of life. On cue, he blinked and she caught her breath before erupting into a panic again, weeping over his lifeless body. He wanted to reach out to her but realized his limbs weren't working - his brain wasn't communicating with the rest of his body.
He broke out into a sweat then, the world coming back into focus and the pain finally settled in his head, his neck, into his shoulders deep into his chest and lower back all the way down through his legs, feet, down into his toes. His skin was burning - he felt like it was tearing away from his bones.
"Daryl?" he heard her say his name, but he couldn't move and couldn't respond. Beth seemed lost, not knowing what to do or how to react or how to help him. She couldn't carry him, of course she couldn't - she was so small and delicate, even the way she killed. How could he have let this happen?
Suddenly, she was under him, her arms were under his back, helping him to his knees. The smoke around him clouded his vision as he stumbled forward with Beth's help, his head rolling on his neck. He fell head first, not able to get his arms out in front of him and when he opened his eyes again, blood poured over his eyelids from what was most likely a head wound. Beth was under his arms now, forcing him up and he felt her - strong as she was - she was helping him to his feet.
She was on the left side of him but he couldn't see her, he could only see darkness and bits and pieces of the landscape as he lay limp against her tiny body. She guided him back towards the edge of the forest, his feet crossing over themselves every which way as he walked with her help. He caught sight of a clearing and the green grass in the distance - the blue sky peering through.
He fell again, falling over his heavy feet and legs, all the way over Beth, bringing her down with him and she was whimpering and saying his name over and over as she inhaled deeply like she was gathering her strength again. He wasn't sure he was going to get up this time, but she was underneath him still, her arm firm around his back which felt disjointed and painful. He was so aware of the pain now - it was blinding. He wanted to lay down right where he was and fall asleep.
Then after what seemed like a lifetime, the house was there, in front of them. "Just a little more, Daryl, come on - keep goin'," he heard her say shakily and he tried to obey and listen and keep himself going as best he could - for her. The stairs were a struggle and he fell twice, knees landing on the pavement - a shock to his already damaged body.
Beth left his side as they reached the top stair and he watched her push the front door open. She was covered in blood - who's blood, her blood? His blood? "Beth," he tried to say, but his lips were stuck together. She came back for him - he hadn't doubted she would - and got on her knees next to him.
"Daryl, I need you to get inside, please," she begged him, and he willed himself to do just that. She pulled his arm around her shoulder and got to her feet, supporting him as he suffered to stand and stumbled the extra few feet inside. They both toppled over the threshold into the house and he collapsed on the wooden floor.
When Daryl woke up again, he was in a bedroom, alone, propped up with pillows in a proper bed. How had he gotten here? He briefly remembered Beth tending to his wounds and laying in the living area on the couch. Beth had moved him upstairs at some point, helping him into new clothes and back into bed. She'd woken him a few times to get some water into his system, but he'd no idea how long he had been out of commission.
The curtains to the left of him were drawn shut but he could see it was night, as there was no sunlight visible beneath them. The room he was in was large - the bed a handsome four-poster with heavy blankets and curtains that could enclose him in if he wanted. A single light, situated on the floor, illuminated his surroundings.
He looked down at his body, a sudden fear consuming him remembering what had happened. Walking. Exploring. Tripping. Explosion. Pain. Beth. Did he have all of his limbs? How long had he been asleep? Where was Beth? He tried sitting up straight, but a pain shot down his spine. He gritted his teeth, moving through it, wanting to sit upright. He needed to find her and make sure she was okay.
As if she'd read his thoughts, the door opened in front of him and Beth stood there with a tray of food and water. Her eyes widened at the sight of him and she hurried in, placing the tray down on a chest that sat at the end of the bed.
"Daryl," she exclaimed, rushing next to him. "You're awake!"
"What the hell happened?" he asked her, admitting defeat to himself and falling back into the pillows.
Beth hoisted herself up on the bed and got on her knees to get closer to him. She placed the back of her hand on his forehead and felt it. "How's your head? How do you feel?" she asked. She moved some of his hair out of his eyes so that he could see her clearly.
Daryl went to bring his arm up to swat her hands away, annoyed she wasn't answering his question, but his left arm was caught and when he looked down, he realized she had put him in a makeshift sling. "Hmph," Daryl growled, frustrated.
"Don't move your arm," Beth scolded him. "I think it's only fractured, but the bone could be broken. Can't tell," she said, shaking her head. "Leave it be - it needs to heal properly."
"How long have I been like this?" Daryl asked, catching her eyes with his narrowed ones.
Beth sighed, looking down, playing with her fingers nervously.
"Beth?" he asked again, trying to meet her eyes.
"About a week," she mumbled, looking away.
"A week!?" he exclaimed.
"Daryl!" she breathed frustratedly. "You were practically blown up! You're lucky you weren't killed or blown apart! A week is nothin'!" she said hysterically.
"A week's a long time for you to be on your own, takin' care of my ass," he said. He groaned to himself, his body feeling foreign and broken as he lay in the large oversized bed. He didn't deserve to be alive. "I'm fuckin' sorry Beth."
She stared at him. "Oh, I could slap you right now Daryl Dixon," she said through her teeth. "Don't you dare go apologizin' to me for nothin'!" Her eyes started to fill with tears. "You've been takin' care of me since we left the prison. Only fair I return the favor."
"But this place, we're still not sure it's safe," Daryl tried to reason, struggling to sit up again.
"Well," Beth started, shifting back on her keeps and sitting down on the bed. "I checked the perimeter. Looks like we're not close to much else. The road we came on is three or four miles out," she said casually. "The entire place is surrounded by land mines - just like the one you set off."
Daryl stared at her then. "You checked the-"
"Perimeter, yeah," Beth said. "Had to be sure. I didn't know when you were going to wake up."
"And the back entrance?" he asked.
"I covered it up."
"You went by yourself?" he asked.
Beth cocked her head to the side. "It's not so unbelievable Daryl. Just 'cause I had a job at the prison takin' care of Judith, doesn't mean I'm not capable on my own," she said defiantly.
"Never said you're not," Daryl said, regretting his words.
"I did what was necessary." She looked at him now, with a serious expression, "Learned a lot from you."
"Sure did," Daryl said, feeling something he could only describe as pride rise in his heart. Her kill down in that bunker - had it changed something in her? He'd always seen glimmers of strength in Beth, but now she was different. Taking care of him, this place - he didn't deserve it.
"Listen," Beth said, looking at him seriously. "Your back, it's burned badly. I did the best I could trying to mend the wounds, but there's a good chance of it gettin' infected. Need to keep it clean, keep changing the bandages, but we don't have any antibiotics if an infection comes." She hesitated then, looking away from him. "I was thinkin..."
"You were thinkin' nothin'," Daryl growled at her, knowing what she was going to say.
"I just thought I could go look - Daryl, please," she begged. "There's a car in the garage, I could just take it out in the morning and be back before night."
"You're not goin," Daryl said. He lifted his good arm and reached for her. She came towards him, letting his hand fall on her shoulder and he grasped it strongly as though he were trying to keep her put on the bed with him.
"Daryl," she said, pushing him again, her eyes filled with fear.
"No!" he growled. "S'long as we change the bandages and keep it clean, it'll keep the infection away."
"We can't be sure!" Beth yelled. "You got a better chance of it gettin' infected than not. It's a large wound. And then what if an infection comes - then what? I'll have to leave you here and go out to look anyway and there's no chance you'd be alive when I came back." She was consumed by tears then, putting her head in her hands and wailing in front of him. He was so fucking helpless just watching her cry, not even able to comfort her all because he'd made a stupid mistake.
"Beth..." he started.
"No!" she said angrily through her tears. "You don't get to decide this Daryl!" she was raising her voice now. "I can't lose you!" She pushed her body forward then, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. Pain soared across his skin and down his back but he didn't care. He took his one good arm to reach up and touch her back. He noticed she hadn't bothered to put a bra on beneath her shirt and though he was burning in pain, he still felt a tingle of fire in his system.
She kissed him selfishly, forcing her tongue into his mouth and he accepted her, happy to feel her again - to feel alive. Her hands were tangled in his hair, running through the long strands. Their lips met angrily, she was almost biting him, so eager to be this close again. His strength was weaning but he kept going, kept holding her, even finding the courage to slide his hand up her shirt. She smiled, though he felt hot tears on her cheek and he grasped her clumsily, just wanting to feel her body close to his.
"Oh Daryl," she breathed, moving away from him. "I'm sorry - I shouldn't be pushing you." She sat back on the bed then, wiping her eyes with her palms. "I was so scared. I thought," she inhaled deeply, trying to steady her breath. "I thought you were dead."
"Well I'm not," Daryl said. "And I don't want you goin' out riskin' your life to save my sorry ass."
"Daryl, I can't survive without you," Beth said. "But...you need me too."
He thought about this for a minute, realizing she was right. As much as he hated the idea of Beth taking care of him, he knew he'd be no good to her if he was dead. The idea of her going out on a run alone though, without him, to fix his mistake was terrifying.
"Okay," he responded after a while.
"Okay," Beth said nodding. "It's gonna be okay." And he knew she meant it.