All I Ever Will Be

Chapter Nineteen - Healing

Within the next week, Beth and Daryl had fallen into a routine. Three meals a day, all eaten in the kitchen, regular running water, some electricity to enjoy when they needed it - it was bliss. Daryl thought to himself that he'd never had anything this nice, even before the world had gone to shit.

He had been distracted at the prison - going on runs, killing walkers on the gate, being on the council, hell - even growing crops with Rick, so he'd never noticed the tension between him and Beth, but holy fuck was it clear now. He noticed everything about Beth, down to the way she absentmindedly hummed to herself when lost in thought or how she always put her hands on her hips when she was getting frustrated with him or the way she smelled when she kissed him, sometimes out of nowhere at all.

He had come to realize that Beth was a physical person and that she liked to touch him and be near him whenever she could. It took him some getting used to - he had always been a loner and not at all affectionate, but he felt good with her, so he let himself try to be comfortable with the closeness. She sparked something inside him and despite the circumstances, he found himself smiling and laughing more that he ever had in his life. Beth was able to find the joy and light in everything.

He was still hurting, so the moments between them were brief and strained. Every time she touched and kissed him, he yearned to be close to her, skin to skin to really feel her but she always pulled away, afraid she would make his injuries worse. He craved her body, what he'd already seen and everything he was imagining. He just wanted to touch her and make her feel good and selfishly, be as close as he could be to her. It wasn't something he just wanted anymore, it was something he needed.

Though, if he was behind honest with himself, the thought of being that intimate or even making love to Beth…it sort of scared him. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman and he'd never been with one he cared about like this, or one he had even really gotten to know - he'd always run off before he gotten too close. It was what Merle had taught him. But this - with Beth, it was different. And she'd made it clear that she wanted him too. He'd never experienced that with anyone.

He might have been imagining it, but it seemed like Beth was just as on edge as he was. He knew it was for good reason - they were both focused on getting him back to a having a clean bill of health. The burns had been deep, but the antibiotics had driven away infection and Beth's bandaging and constant tending were helping the wounds heal.

Beth had started keeping track of how long they'd been at the house, marking off the days on a makeshift calendar she'd made. If Daryl could guess, he'd say it was September, maybe October, so she drew some pumpkins around her count and stuck it to the fridge. It was a little too normal for Daryl, but if it made her happy, he wasn't going to say anything bad about it.

Then just yesterday they'd had a scare when a fox ran into one of the landmines, setting it off. It brought Daryl right back to reality as he and Beth ran out to investigate. The noise attracted two seemingly stray walkers which Beth and Daryl tackled easily. He was surprised at how much better and stronger he was already feeling as he headed into his third week of recovery.

He was aware they hadn't handled a cleanup down in the bunker, and wasn't sure Beth was ready to face it yet. Truth was, he wasn't sure he was actually ready to face it either and there was really no need to push it. He needed time to heal, but he also was enjoying this place - it was an escape from the horrors they'd encountered. The Governor. The prison. Losing everyone. The comfort it provided was intoxicating. It gave him the ability to really get to know who Beth was and start to understand just how badly he really wanted her.

They woke up together, the sun peeking in from the window beside the bed, spraying a ray of sunshine over their faces. They'd been sleeping in the same bed since they'd discovered the house and even three weeks in, it was still a new thing for Beth - sharing a bed with a man. It wasn't as scary as she'd thought it would be - quite the opposite, in fact but Beth was still careful of touching Daryl too much because of his injury.

She woke slowly, opening one eye to take him in. He was awake, lying at a slight incline, turned towards her, his arm still in a sling at his side. He had his other arm outstretched towards her and he brought his fingertips up to her forehead, moving some hair away from her face. She curled up underneath the covers, inching closer towards his him, close enough to feel his body heat.

"Mornin'," he said in a tired voice. His lips were curled up at the edges.

"Hi," she breathed.

"I'm feelin' better today," Daryl offered, shifting to be on his back.

"Oh yeah?" Beth said, turning so she was leaning on her elbow, looking at him with a wide smile.

Daryl nodded. "Thinkin' we go outside today - try to get some stuff planted - get a 'lil sun on our skin." He looked towards the window. "If we plant some of those vegetables now we can pick 'em for early winter harvest." Beth had found some seeds in the garage during the week that Daryl was out and they'd been waiting until Daryl was up for it to plant them together .

"Alright," Beth said, sitting up and hugging her knees. She looked back at Daryl who was actually grinning now. "We could do the broccoli, carrots, peas - spinach…" For a minute she thought of Daryl eating creamed spinach with his vest on at the dinner table and she giggled, despite herself.

"What's so funny?" Daryl asked.

Beth sighed and fell back onto the bed so she she was almost underneath him, staring up at him with wide eyes. "Nothing," she said, grinning. He leaned forward then bringing his face close enough so that their noses were touching. She needed to be close to him, to feel him - there wasn't anything else she wanted more. It had been almost three weeks since his accident according to her count - three weeks too long - three weeks since their moment in front of the fire downstairs. She wanted him to get better, but also wanted him so she tilted her head to the side then and kissed him. Immediately he relaxed, so she kissed him deeper, losing control of her restraint, sliding her tongue into his mouth.

He accepted her gladly, exploring her mouth with his own tongue. Then he gently took her bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on her sensitive skin, breaking away momentarily. He dove back into her mouth again and she had trouble catching her breath this time as their lips met and they inhaled each other. She grasped at him, her hands on his shoulders, wanting to pull him closer. Her hands found the bandages she knew were there but wanted to ignore so badly and he pushed into her as if to say stop it, please, keep going but she broke away from him and sat up straight beside him.

Daryl sat up with her, following her face with his own, breathing heavily from their kiss. He groaned, "Come back to me," he said.

Beth shook her head at him. "You gotta heal." She frowned, cupping his face with her palm.

He narrowed his eyes at her and grunted, looking pained, but not arguing with her on the point.

She sighed, feeling frustrated, excitement still ignited in her belly but instead of kissing him again, she threw a pillow at him and it bounced off his head. "Let's get outside."

The day was warm, the sun high in the sky, beating down on the grass around the property. The trees surrounding them on all sides were a sea of brown, yellow, orange and green - a gorgeous landscape to take in. It was almost like they were in another world.

Beth had grabbed the machine gun, some tools and the seeds from the garage and they started their work, digging into the soft soil. With one arm, Daryl looked comical trying to help Beth plant, but she let him help even though he was probably doing more harm than good.

"This shit is so fuckin' annoying," he said to her, throwing the rake he was holding away and letting it bounce across the grass. He tugged on his makeshift sling. "My arm feels alright, can't I just take it off?"

"You can't," Beth said, concentrating on burying a seed, patting soil over it. "You don't let that arm heal, it's gonna be funny for the rest of your life."

He groaned, turning around on his feet with his face towards the sun, then sat on the solid ground they hadn't dug into yet. "I'm useless," he said, bringing his knees up.

Beth looked up at him, squinting in the sun and grinned. "You're not!" she said laughing and leaning back so that her bottom touched the backs of her heels. "It's just hard with one arm." She wiped her hands on her jeans, leaving dirt marks down the denim. "Okay - you are," she admitted, "But you're good company."

"Hmph," he grunted at her, playfully throwing a bit of dirt at her.

"Hey!" she laughed, picking up her own pile to chuck at him. He dodged it, still smiling and they locked eyes for a minute. She watched him as his eyes averted, leaving hers, and staring beyond her into the distance. His expression changed immediately from playful to panicked and she knew instantly that something wasn't right.

"Daryl?" she started to say.

Suddenly, he stood up. "Beth," he said, out of the corner of his mouth. "Get behind me."

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him, knowing there was something - someone behind her, so she got to her feet slowly, moving as quickly as she could. The machine gun was laid forgotten in the dirt where they were working, so she went towards it, picking it up. Her heart had picked up its pace and she could feel every beat in her chest cavity as she struggled to stay calm.

"Beth," Daryl whispered, turning his head towards her.

"Don't!" came a yell in the distance.

Beth looked up just as she was adjusting the weapon in her arms. That voice. She knew it. And then - she heard the familiar cry of a baby. The same cry she'd dreamt about since the prison fell. Since she'd left Judith behind.

She looked up towards the forest and thought she might be dreaming - there were two larger bodies, a smaller one, and the unmistakable shape of a baby.