I'm sorry it's taken me ages to update this but here, finally, is the final chapter. I was going to finish it as the episode did with Ethan getting his glasses back, but I decided to take things in a slightly different direction. After all that suffering, Ethan deserves slightly more than the safe return of his glasses! But I'm sure Ethan will get his glasses back eventually.

westlife4ever80, thank you for your review. You're right - all Ethan's apologies seem to be doing is making everything even worse!

Bonnie Sveen Fan, I bet Ethanreally wishes he's stayed in bed - and not just because he doesn't feel very well. Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. Ethan might think this is a sad story, but I don't think so and I'm really glad you're finding it amusing. I'm glad Dylan is being himself. It was quite difficult imagining how he'd react to being recruited as a rent boy!

Guest, thank you for your review. I really loved that Cal spent his day off searching for Ethan's glasses and then brought them in for him. It was adorable! If Lily is interested in Ethan, I don't blame her at all.

Teeloganroryflan, thank you for your review - I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter. I hope you'll like this one too.

HarryPotterHolbyAndHorses, it sounds a bit wrong to say I'm glad you're dying, but I hope you know what I mean! Thank you for your review.

ETWentHome, I did get your pun and I loved it! I wish I'd thought of it. I don't quite like to think of what might have happened to Ethan if Lily hadn't been there! Thank you for your review.

"Now we will go and find Louise," said Lily.

Ethan failed to feel enthusiastic. "I don't think I really want Louise to hit me again."

"I will protect you," said Lily firmly.

If Ethan hadn't known better, he might have thought Lily was enjoying herself. "Thank you," he said. "I think I might need protection."

Lily stepped closer to Ethan and smiled slightly as she looked into his eyes. "Yes. I think you might."

Ethan was experiencing all sorts of strange sensations. His heartbeat had sped up and he felt quite a bit warmer than he had a few seconds ago and his skin felt sort of prickly, in a really nice way. He was also getting a strange sort of urge to hug Lily.

Hangovers really were strange.

Some of the feelings dissipated when Lily's eyes snapped away from his. "Louise!"

Louise came to join them. "Yes?" she said insolently.

"I believe you and Dr Hardy had a misunderstanding earlier," said Lily. "When he said you'd 'been around the block' he meant that you know your job well and therefore it's very difficult to deceive you."

"Oh. Well, that wasn't what it sounded like," said Louise. "Ethan shouldn't use phrases like that if he doesn't know what they mean."

"I actually didn't use it incorrectly," said Ethan. "The phrase has two possible interpretations."

Louise gave him her best sneer. "And what about when you told me I'd got more drunken men into bed than I'd had hot dinners? Are there two possible interpretations of that too?"

"I understand you'd just helped Ethan into a cubicle and made him sit on the bed," said Lily. "That was what he meant by getting him into bed and I'm sure you have done that on many occasions."

Louise looked disparagingly at Ethan. "Next time, say what you mean, okay?" She walked off.

"Thank you, Lily," said Ethan. "That was very impressively-done."

"Perhaps I'm a very impressive person," said Lily.

"Yes. I think you are," said Ethan.

Lily took his hand. "Now we will go and see-" She stopped, looked down at their joined hands and hurriedly pulled hers away. "Now we will go and see Jez."

"And what can I do for you, beautiful?" said Jez.

"You can listen to me," said Lily.

Jez winked at Ethan. "I wasn't talking to her, was I, gorgeous?"

Ethan stared at him. "But… but surely you weren't talking to me."

"Who else?" said Jez. He moved closer to Ethan, swinging his hips from side to side.

"Jez, I think you have the wrong idea about Ethan," said Lily. "I believe there were two reasons why he allowed you to carry him around the pub. One: because he was grateful you'd lifted him down from the table. Two: because he drunkd."

Jez pouted. "What's she talking about, Ethan? Tell her we're made for each other."

"Well, I… I really don't think …" began Ethan.

"What he's trying to say, Lily," said Jez, as he put his arm around Ethan's shoulders, "is that he really doesn't think you understand how important I am to him. That's what you were saying, wasn't it, sexy pants?"

Ethan could only gape at him.

"I wouldn't go around with your mouth hanging open like that, Ethan," said Jez. "You never know what might end up inside it."

Ethan blushed a fiery red and edged closer to Lily. "Jez, what exactly happened in the loo last night?"

Jez bumped his hips against Ethan and said: "Oh, wouldn't you like to know!"

"Actually, I'm not at all sure I do want to know," said Ethan, "but I think it's probably quite important that you tell me."

Jez's hand slid slowly down Ethan's back, getting lower and lower. "And now you're giving me mixed messages, you big tease. But you're not fooling me. I know you're true feelings. I saw everything last night!"

"Everything?" squeaked Ethan.

"I am sure he is referring only to emotions," said Lily.

"Okay, maybe I didn't quite see you naked," said Jez. "But you went to the loo, Ethan, and you didn't use a cubicle. Obviously I saw something. How could I not?"

"By minding your own business and not looking?" suggested Lily icily.

"Oh, come on, Lily!" said Jez. "You're not seriously saying that if you were standing at the urinal next to Ethan's, you wouldn't take the smallest peek?"

"I have no reason to stand at a urinal," said Lily, "but I would not look. No."

Jez shrugged. "Well, what else would I expect from the ice princess?"

"If I am a princess," said Lily, "then you should bow every time you speak to me."

Jez laughed and bowed. "There you are, Princess Lily." He bowed to Ethan too. "And there you are, Prince Ethan. Oh, I like doing that. I get some lovely close-up views of you-know-where."

Ethan gasped and hid behind Lily.

Lily looked at Jez for a moment and moved closer to him. "Oh, Jez. You have such charm. I believe I have completely changed my mind about you." She stood beside Ethan, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I think you are perfect for Ethan. So I think you should kiss him right now."

"What are you doing ?" said Ethan in horror.

"I have realised the extent of Jez's feelings," said Lily. "And now, I would like to see him kiss you."

Jez moved awkwardly from one foot to the other. "I never knew you were a voyeur, Lily."

"Neither did I," said Lily. She looked almost happy. "Go on then, Jez. Kiss Ethan."

"Lily-" said Ethan urgently.

Lily smiled at him. "Trust me, Ethan. I know you will enjoy this."

"No," whispered Ethan.

"Come on, Jez!" said Lily. "Are you going to kiss your 'beautiful, gorgeous sexy-pants' or not?" She pushed Ethan closer to Jez.

"I… um… was that my radio?" said Jez.

"No, it was not," said Lily.

"Then it must be Iain calling me."

"No," said Lily. "Jez. I will give you two choices. Either you will kiss Ethan now or you will admit to him you're playing a stupid joke and nothing happened between you apart from carrying Ethan around the pub."

Jez was slowly backing away. "I wouldn't go quite that far."

"Then kiss Ethan," said Lily, propelling a terrified Ethan forward.

"Lily, I would never force myself on any man-"

"You're not," said Lily. "I'm forcing him on you."

Jez's back hit the wall. "Lily…"

"Say it, Jez," said Lily. "Say it… or kiss him." She grabbed the back of Ethan's head and pushed it close to Jez's face… but not that close.

"Okay! Okay!" said Jez. "It was a joke, Ethan. You were drunk. Me and Iain thought it would be a laugh to pretend a lot more had happened than it actually had. Nothing happened apart from the carrying and I didn't have a peek in the loo. You're a nice guy and everything, but I prefer bad boys – and you're not one, no matter how much you were trying to pretend to be one last night."

Ethan thought he might have collapsed with relief if Lily hadn't been holding on to him. This made him even more glad she was there. The last thing he wanted was to collapse on top of Jez.

"Thank you, Jez," said Lily. "Now grow up and leave Ethan alone."

They heard laughter from the doorway, followed by a slow handclap. "Good job, Lily!" said Iain. "You found us out. I never knew you had it in you."

"Had what in me?" said Lily cautiously.

Ethan spoke softly. "Lily? Shall we quit while we're ahead? I think we should be getting back to work anyway."

"What do you think they're whispering about?" said Jez.

"Nothing!" said Lily.

"Whispering sweet nothings, eh?" said Iain.

Lily held her head high. "Ethan, I believe it is time to retreat with dignity."

"That's exactly what I was going to say," said Ethan.

Ethan couldn't believe it was over

Finally. It was time to go home.

Lily appeared beside him. "You survived, Ethan. Well done. Now you can go home, have dinner, take painkillers and go to bed."

"That sounds lovely," said Ethan. "Especially the going to bed part." He looked quickly at Lily. "I mean…"

"I know what you mean," said Lily. "But first, you must see Mrs Beauchamp."

Lily walked him to the office.

"Dr Hardy," said Connie. "You made it."

"O-of course," said Ethan. "You asked me to report to you and… well…"

"I thought you'd either be sent home long before this," said Connie. "You did well."

Ethan held out the roll of notes. "Here you are. £100."

Connie made no move to take it. "Dr Hardy. Do you honestly think that if a pizza delivery boy arrived at my house with a pizza I did not order, he would actually manage to persuade me to pay?"

Ethan blinked at her. "But… you said…"

"Let that be a lesson to you, Dr Hardy," said Connie. "Be careful how much you drink." She smiled. "I knew it wasn't you anyway. I also managed to convince the delivery boy to give me the number of the person responsible for making the prank call. He shouldn't have done it really, of course, but I really think he was quite frightened of me."

"I can imag… I mean, I can't imagine that," said Ethan gallantly.

"Then you really don't know me very well, do you?" said Connie. "I didn't recognise the number myself, but Jacob told me belonged to Jez Andrews, one of our paramedics. I will be paying him a little visit later."

"So the pizza didn't go to the homeless shelter?" said Ethan.

"Of course it did!" said Connie impatiently. "They could hardly have sold it, could they?"

"And the damage I caused?"

"There was no damage."Connie smiled. "Now, off you go, Dr Hardy. Try to drink responsibly and I'll see you tomorrow."

"What do you want to do now?" asked Lily.

Ethan immediately thought of several inappropriate possibilities.

Nothing more inappropriate than kissing Lily, but still.

"Would you like to go to the pub and get drunk again?" said Lily. "Or go to the pub and drink lemonade and actually remember everything tomorrow? Or would you like to go home and perhaps let me cook for you?"

Ethan was still staring at her in amazement when Noel walked past.

"Ethan, you going to the pub?"

"No, um, I think I've had a better offer," said Ethan.

He smiled at Lily and they left the ED.