All I Ever Will Be

Chapter 27 - Hope

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter. I sort of lost my muse a little bit and started another totally unrelated Bethyl fic. I think I will write a few more chapters on this one and find an end with a Part II in the future if there is any interest. (I'm thinking Part II would follow the group on a journey for the cure - still Bethyl centric with Richonne sprinkled in, possible other ships if they find more of the group *wink*.) Thoughts? Comments? Interest? Cookies?

On another note, thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this story - the reviews and follows and favorites are so, so appreciated! This fic has been a little bumpy for me. I hadn't written anything creative in years, plus trying to find Beth & Daryl's voices for the first time and not really knowing where I was heading with it was hard so all of the support has really kept me going. So, THANK YOU! I hope to write a lot more stories on here because it's a lot of fun! Anyway, sorry for this ridiculously long author's note and onwards to the remainder of the story!

The sun was still shining when they reached the house again, pouring through the windows in the garage. Beth smiled when she saw it, feeling like her world had been turned upside down.

A cure.

It was hard to wrap her mind around, but hope had been ignited deep within her and she didn't want to let it go. She'd been through so much, and now, she thought, it was clear why. She was meant to be here with Daryl and Rick and Michonne and Carl and Judith and they were meant to find this place. Meant to help - maybe meant to change the world.

After they'd closed the bunker door and all settled back into the kitchen, Beth suddenly realized none of the others seemed to share her enthusiasm. She wasn't sure what she expected, but she expected more than this.

Rick sat at the table, shaking his head and running his fingers through his beard, talking quietly to Michonne. She was nodding her head, sitting next to him, looking concerned. Daryl hadn't made eye contact with her since they were downstairs in the lab and she found herself suddenly feeling out of place.

"You gonna say anythin'?" she directed it at Daryl, feeling angrier than she anticipated.

He grunted and shrugged, not really giving her an answer,

She felt confused and shrugged back at him. "What's that mean?"

"Dunno," he replied, looking uncomfortable.

"We just found out there might be a cure!" she said, raising her voice. Rick and Michonne broke apart, staring at her and she looked around at them bewilderedly.

"Isn't anyone gonna say anythin'!?" She was feeling hysterical now, looking around at the three of them, all of them looking at her. She glanced back at Daryl. Surely Daryl would understand that if there was any time to have an inkling of hope, this was it.

But Daryl just shook his head at her, looking at her sadly. "We didn't find out nothin'," he responded in a whisper. "Just somebody's word and you know that's not enough."

She suddenly felt her age. Like all the adults all knew something and she didn't because she was too young and too innocent. Too naive. Just little old Beth. Stupid and clueless. She'd felt that way at the prison sometimes. Beth can take the baby. Beth can wash the clothes. Beth can do the simple things, but not the hard ones. Those were left for Maggie and Carol and Daryl and Rick.

But when she was alone, out in the wilderness with Daryl, she'd grown. When they found the bunker and then the house and after Daryl got hurt, she'd grown even more. She could take care of herself. And she could take care of big, bad Daryl Dixon too.

But she couldn't shake the feeling, so she acted upon impulse and grunted frustratedly at all of them, Daryl in particular, hating that he was being so rational about things. So she stormed out of the kitchen and upstairs to the bedroom. When she got there, she hated herself for reacting and the embarrassment overwhelmed her so she erupted into tears, throwing herself dramatically on the bed, getting under the covers, feeling tired and confused.

Everyone should be happy or at least hopeful, shouldn't they? Were they so far gone at this point that hope for a cure was so far beyond the realm of possibility? She didn't understand their reactions.

She ached for her father, closing her eyes to imagine his face. The edges were getting blurry. She wished she had a photo or something to really see him, not just in her mind. The thought of forgetting was scary. Hershel would have known what to say and how to handle it. He would have calmed her down and told the group to give this woman a chance and everything would have been okay.

He had believed in a cure as soon as the epidemic hit. "Mankind's been fightin' plagues from the start," he'd say. "It's nature correcting itself. Restoring some balance."

As the minutes went by, and she laid in the bed, feeling shittier by the minute, she wondered where Daryl was. Why hadn't he followed her? The doubt hit her like a train, and she felt foolish, lying in bed all curled up like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Of course he hadn't followed her, she was acting like a fool. She was acting her age and Daryl probably regretted getting stuck with her and kissing her and caring about her and making love to her. They were probably all down there right now, rolling their eyes at her, thinking it was a mistake to invite her down to explore the bunker with them.

She started to cry again, hating that she was so quick to emotion, but she couldn't help it. She'd told Daryl she didn't cry anymore at the prison, but that was a lie now. She was just a big ball of emotion, unable to hold anything inside.

On cue, the door creaked open and Beth froze, the covers practically over her head, faced towards the window. She heard him come in, closing the door gently behind himself.

"Beth?"

He said her name softly - apprehensively, like he was afraid of her. She didn't move or respond, staring towards the window.

She felt his weight on the bed next to her as he sat down. "I'm sorry," he said slowly.

Beth wondered if he even knew what he was apologizing for, because she sure didn't. "For what?" she mumbled, keeping her body still.

He shifted on the bed and she felt his fingers meet her back, tugging at the covers that she'd surrounded herself with. She let him slide them off of her slowly, but didn't face to turn him.

Instead of answering, he laid down next to her and the familiarity of his body behind hers calmed her slightly. Gently, he slid his hand over her waist and tugged her body closer to his. She felt his breath on her neck now, and chills spread down her spine and across her arms.

"I'm sorry that you're so accepting and that the rest of us aren't." She could tell he'd thought over what to say before he'd said it. "Nobody wants to get their hopes up," he said, his deep voice radiating through her body. "We ain't ready yet."

She let it resonate for a minute, but didn't answer.

"This place, it's almost too good to be true. We don't know what could come of this. If someone's watchin' us. If that woman's even real. If what she says is even real. If she'll even come back." He paused, like he was trying to wait for a reaction from her, but she kept still. "Just tired of bein' let down is all. We all are. We still need to be careful. If we get our hopes up and it all goes to shit again, then what?"

"Then we keep doin' what we've been doin!" Beth surprised herself as she spoke up, turning suddenly to break free from his arms. She sat up straight and faced him. "What's so wrong with that?"

"Beth," he said, sitting up next to her, his face getting flushed. "You gotta understand. It's likely nothin' will come out of this. And," he hesitated now, "I don't want to see you get your hopes up for something that may never be."

He thought she was naive, and maybe she was. She knew he was just trying to look out for her, but the initial feeling of hopefulness and happiness had been swept away and she was angry. "Easier to not care then?" she spat at him, turning away. "Easier to just accept things as they are, right?"

"That's not what I'm sayin' and you know it," he said, reaching for her.

She jerked away from him, feeling the tears coming again. "I haven't lost hope," she said in a whisper, looking up at him. He was giving her a look, like he was hurting for her but didn't know what to do. "Just, let me hold onto it, for a little while longer. Until I have a reason not to anymore."

He nodded at her, slipping his arm around her shoulder and bringing his face closer to hers. His lips touched hers gently and hesitantly and she leaned in to return the kiss, very much needing it in that moment.

Beth believed she could help find a cure. She was instantly trusting, instantly hopeful, and it terrified him.

Rick had been clear in his words to Daryl that night - he didn't trust the proclamation, or the woman, or this place. Michonne hadn't been swayed either way and Daryl? Well, he wanted to support the hope that was still left in Beth.

Initially, Daryl hadn't understood Rick's immediate distrust, but as he watched Rick bounce Judith in his lap and mess with Carl's hair, casting a longing look at Michonne as they all sat around the table to eat that night, he finally got it. If he put his faith in something like this - put his kid's faith into something like this and it turned out to not be true, it might destroy him.

Daryl thought that Rick had probably made peace with his children growing up in this world and accepted that things were the way they were. He couldn't control or fix those things so instead, he had built Carl to be a fighter and would do the same with his daughter. Teach them how to shoot a gun, how to kill, how to stay safe when things got bad. That was what Rick did and, Daryl thought, what any decent parent would do in this fucked up world. A cure threw a wrench in anything and everything they'd known and prepared for in the past two years.

Daryl, Rick and Carl cleared the plates and Beth bounced the baby on her lap talking quietly to Michonne at the table. Rick hadn't said much else since they came up from the bunker so when they were done cleaning up and everyone else was settled at the table, enjoying some of the last bits of chocolate that was stashed in the pantry, Daryl motioned for him to follow him outside to the front of the house.

They wandered out the front door together, Rick taking a seat on the front steps, his head in his hands. Daryl took a seat next to him, looking up towards the sky. It was so dark and quiet here, eerily still. Like they were in another world.

"You okay?" Daryl managed to say, not looking at Rick.

Rick didn't answer, only nodded.

There was silence between them then and Daryl chewed on his lip thoughtfully. "Beth wants to go down there tomorrow. See what happens," Daryl said to him. "I'm gonna go with her."

Rick nodded again, looking at Daryl. "I thought she might," he said. "Thought you might too." Rick looked behind his shoulder, back at the door. "Michonne and I are thinkin' about going out on a run tomorrow with Carl," he said. "We're still missing half our group. Glenn, Carol, Maggie. Not sure I'm ready to start a new chapter until we find the rest of them…or at least know what happened to them."

"Sure you don't want me to come along?" Daryl asked, feeling guilty, though he knew he wouldn't leave Beth.

Rick smiled at him and put his hand on his shoulder. "No," he said sternly. "You stay here with Beth and Judith. Figure out what this all means." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "Just not sure I'm ready to accept any of this yet."

"I know," Daryl answered. "I got this."

"I know you do," Rick answered, leaning back on the stairs. "I have faith in you. You're a stronger man than I am."

Daryl wasn't sure that was true, but the words felt good all the same.

When he returned to the house, Beth, Michonne, Carl and Judith had already retired for the evening. She was in bed, her knees to her chest, reading a book, The Island of Doctor Moreau. Beth looked up at him as he came in, folding the corner of the page she was on, and putting it to the side.

"Hi," she said as he stepped into the room.

"Talked to Rick," Daryl said, going into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, pulling off his shirt in the process. "Michonne and him are goin' on a run tomorrow with Carl. They wanna look for the rest of the group."

She didn't answer and he couldn't see her from where he was, so he continued to speak. "Wants us to stay here with Judith. Told him we wanted to see what happens downstairs in that lab."

"They don't wanna be here?" Beth asked, her voice sounding small from the bedroom.

"Not sure Rick's ready," Daryl answered honestly. She didn't say anything more, so he finished up what he was doing in the bathroom, stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed.

Beth looked at him, studying his face, her wide eyes scanning every detail, and then, she pounced on him, her hands making their way to his shoulders before he knew what was happening. Her mouth was eager and hungry and when she climbed on top of him, he saw that like the night before, she only had on a t-shirt and panties.

"Beth," he tried to say her name as she devoured his mouth, her tongue forcing its way into his own, and he accepted it, letting her kiss him deeply. Her fingers were in his hair now as she brought her mouth down to kiss his neck and he shivered, his body feeling alive - every single nerve on fire.

"Daryl," she whispered in his ear, and he moved so that their cheeks met. "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered.

If the first time with Daryl was great, the second time with him was even better.

She'd been forward, needing to release the day somehow and she'd undressed quickly, forcing Daryl to do the same, both of their clothes falling into a heap on the side of the bed. They tumbled between the sheets together, kissing and playing, fondling and touching each other. Daryl was the perfect mix of gentle and rough, his fingers seeming to find the most sensitive spots on her body without even trying.

She had mounted him, feeling his thickness between her thighs and she was wetter than she'd ever been after what seemed like hours of his fingers between her legs and his mouth on her skin. She was ready for him again even though she could still feel their contact from the night before.

Beth slid down onto him easily, his cock spreading her wide and she watched his face as he closed his eyes and exhaled a breath of pleasure. She rode him without really thinking, the friction sending deep jolts of electricity through her very core. He was grabbing her now, his hands on her arms, then on her back, finally making their way to her ass, pulling her towards him, then pushing her back again.

The friction between them picked up rhythm, her sensitive spot slapping against him, her breasts swinging with the rhythm of their grinding. She liked watching him - the faces he made as she made him feel so, so good, but she liked tasting him even more. In the moment, she took his bottom lip in between her teeth, tugging gently. He smiled mischievously, grabbing her body, lifting her up and placing her gently back on the bed to get on top of her.

"God Beth," he growled at her, nuzzling his face into her neck as he drilled into her body. "You feel so good."

She gasped, feeling his fingers on her clit, rubbing her exactly where she needed, pushing her body towards the edge, his shaft moving rhythmically inside of her and she lost it all at once, arching her back and letting herself go with Daryl still inside of her. And he lost it too, she could feel him, the last rough thrusts inside of her before his body shuddered on top of hers and he released himself and collapsed, his breathing heavy and uneven.

Beth was flushed, her thighs sticky from a mix of their sweet juices, but she didn't care. Instead she nestled up next to him, Daryl Dixon, the man she loved and kissed him lightly on the chest.

"We're gonna be okay, right?" he asked her suddenly and she lifted her head to look at him curiously. "No matter what happens tomorrow?"

"Don't ask that," she said seriously. "'Course we are."

He nodded, closing his eyes, his arms around her, pulling her tighter to his body and they fell asleep, dreams of the day ahead filling their minds as they slept.